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If These Wings Could Fly
Perfect for fans of Laura Ruby, Laurie Halse Anderson, and Mindy McGinnis, Kyrie McCauley's stunning YA debut is a powerful story about the haunting specter of domestic violence and the rebellious forces of sisterhood and first love.
Tens of thousands of crows invading Auburn, Pennsylvania, is a problem for everyone in town except seventeen-year-old Leighton Barnes. For Leighton, it's no stranger than her house, which inexplicably repairs itself every time her father loses his temper and breaks things.
Leighton doesn't have time for the crows--it's her senior year, and acceptance to her dream college is finally within reach. But grabbing that lifeline means abandoning her sisters, a choice she's not ready to face.
With her father's rage worsening and the town in chaos over the crows, Leighton allows herself a chance at happiness with Liam, her charming classmate, even though falling in love feels like a revolutionary act.
Balancing school, dating, and survival under the shadow of sixty thousand feathered wings starts to feel almost comfortable, but Leighton knows that this fragile equilibrium can only last so long before it shatters.
Tens of thousands of crows invading Auburn, Pennsylvania, is a problem for everyone in town except seventeen-year-old Leighton Barnes. For Leighton, it's no stranger than her house, which inexplicably repairs itself every time her father loses his temper and breaks things.
Leighton doesn't have time for the crows--it's her senior year, and acceptance to her dream college is finally within reach. But grabbing that lifeline means abandoning her sisters, a choice she's not ready to face.
With her father's rage worsening and the town in chaos over the crows, Leighton allows herself a chance at happiness with Liam, her charming classmate, even though falling in love feels like a revolutionary act.
Balancing school, dating, and survival under the shadow of sixty thousand feathered wings starts to feel almost comfortable, but Leighton knows that this fragile equilibrium can only last so long before it shatters.
400 pages, Hardcover
First published March 3, 2020
125 people are currently reading
10652 people want to read
About the author
Kyrie McCauley
5 books349 followersKyrie McCauley spent her childhood climbing trees in dresses and reading books during class. She is the author of If These Wings Could Fly, recipient of the 2021 William C. Morris Award.
Kyrie holds a Master of Science in Social Policy from the University of Pennsylvania, and has worked in advocacy and development for non-profit organizations. She lives near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, with her family, three rescue cats, and a dog that eats books and is never sorry.
Kyrie holds a Master of Science in Social Policy from the University of Pennsylvania, and has worked in advocacy and development for non-profit organizations. She lives near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, with her family, three rescue cats, and a dog that eats books and is never sorry.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 567 reviews
April 14, 2020
I have to admit, I wasn't super sold on the writing style of this one at first, but once I got into the story and invested in the characters, I ended up really enjoying this. It's definitely a hard read at times, but I feel like it handled domestic abuse in a very respectful manner and if you think you can handle subject matter, this is one you should definitely consider checking out.
TW: domestic abuse
TW: domestic abuse
October 31, 2020
4.5
i put that extra half star for that one scene where they talk about into the spider-verse 😌✨
i put that extra half star for that one scene where they talk about into the spider-verse 😌✨
February 8, 2020
4,5 stars
I confess that what first drew me to the book is the gorgeous cover and once I read the blurb it had all the ingredients that I am looking for in a YA contemporary story and more.
This is a first work that certainly does not feel like a first!
Kyrie McCauley has written about a very sensitive topic with great insight and lots of care without ever being patronizing!
The story of Leighton is a story of parental and domestic abuse.
Kyrie McCauley in her author's note explained that she experienced domestic violence as a teenager and wrote If These Wings Could Fly "so that those who never experienced it might better understand the complexity of domestic violence."
And that's what this story does.
Because domestic violence does not generate black and white feelings for the abused.
Leighton's father was not bad all the time. He had not always been an abuser.
He would also always remain her father.
Leighton', mother was not weak either for staying with him. She had a loving past with the man and it was hard to brush it under the rug. She would always endanger herself to protect her kids. That's not someone weak.
There is also the shame, the guilt and the silence.
You may know, deeply in your soul, that what is happening is wrong, abnormal but you still hide it. You don't want the shame. You don’t want the pity. Or you don't want your world to be turned upside down, even if it hurts, because it's a world you know.
So you stay silent, trapped inside your house with words burning inside your body, inside your soul..
Kyrie gave us a unique insight with every scene feeling so real, pulling me under. When Leighton and her sister waited for the storm to hit. Because there was a tension in the air. A quality in the silence. And they just KNEW the peace would break soon.
The wait was sometimes so unbearable because that's the anticipation that hurts the most. So much that they would provoke his ire and start the storm. Because when it starts you know that it will end. And right after the end of the storm was the safest they felt.
This is also a punch in the face when you realize how so many people conveniently turn a blind eye on abuse.
From the old neighbor who has been raised with "a woman must endure and support her husband", to the Police chief who says nothing because he is an old friend of the abuser. So many people could have helped and did nothing.
I could go on and on about the complexity of that topic but I would like to focus on every little things that gave me hope, brought warmth to the story along with a unique shine.
First: the sibling love and support.
Leighton would have done everything to protect her little sisters. And they would have done the same. Their bond was strong. It was the cement of their resistance. The fuel to go on and live day after day in this horrible environment.
Second: the friendship.
Sofia was very supportive of Leighton, always ready to welcome her or gift her something when money was tight at home. She never judged once. She never pushed. But she was always supportive.
Third: the love story.
I am also a romance reader and Liam's support was incredible. He may have been a star on the football field, beloved by so many at school, never did he make Leighton feel less than perfect.
He never pushed her but always stood by her side. Liam was a perfect book boyfriend! And I really liked to witness their relationship progress.
Fourth: the paranormal element.
Using the crows in this context was symbolic, like a storm brewing and building up and up. Becoming stronger day by day. They can't be ignored. They refuse to be ignored.
And the house also became the embodiment of the abuse, the anger. Some tangible evil entity, trapping the family inside and condoning the abuse.
I could honestly write an essay on that book as the layers of complexity are impressive. I know I will still ponder on the many thoughts I had while reading.
I think that book should be included in school programs to open the eyes, maybe free some tongues and who knows, save lives!
A HUGE thank you to Harper360UK for sending me this copy as I had a marvelous time reading it. And, of course it has no influence on my willing and always honest review.
On a side note, I have always loved crows as I believed they were very smart and this story just confirmed it!
Have you read something similar? What do you think of the cover?
Thanks for reading!
Sophie
Find me on:
Wordpress: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook group : Beware Book Boyfriends Alert
Instagram: @bewareofthereader
Twitter: @BewareOffReader
I confess that what first drew me to the book is the gorgeous cover and once I read the blurb it had all the ingredients that I am looking for in a YA contemporary story and more.
This is a first work that certainly does not feel like a first!
Kyrie McCauley has written about a very sensitive topic with great insight and lots of care without ever being patronizing!
The story of Leighton is a story of parental and domestic abuse.
Kyrie McCauley in her author's note explained that she experienced domestic violence as a teenager and wrote If These Wings Could Fly "so that those who never experienced it might better understand the complexity of domestic violence."
And that's what this story does.
Because domestic violence does not generate black and white feelings for the abused.
Leighton's father was not bad all the time. He had not always been an abuser.
He would also always remain her father.
Leighton', mother was not weak either for staying with him. She had a loving past with the man and it was hard to brush it under the rug. She would always endanger herself to protect her kids. That's not someone weak.
There is also the shame, the guilt and the silence.
You may know, deeply in your soul, that what is happening is wrong, abnormal but you still hide it. You don't want the shame. You don’t want the pity. Or you don't want your world to be turned upside down, even if it hurts, because it's a world you know.
So you stay silent, trapped inside your house with words burning inside your body, inside your soul..
Kyrie gave us a unique insight with every scene feeling so real, pulling me under. When Leighton and her sister waited for the storm to hit. Because there was a tension in the air. A quality in the silence. And they just KNEW the peace would break soon.
The wait was sometimes so unbearable because that's the anticipation that hurts the most. So much that they would provoke his ire and start the storm. Because when it starts you know that it will end. And right after the end of the storm was the safest they felt.
This is also a punch in the face when you realize how so many people conveniently turn a blind eye on abuse.
From the old neighbor who has been raised with "a woman must endure and support her husband", to the Police chief who says nothing because he is an old friend of the abuser. So many people could have helped and did nothing.
I could go on and on about the complexity of that topic but I would like to focus on every little things that gave me hope, brought warmth to the story along with a unique shine.
First: the sibling love and support.
Leighton would have done everything to protect her little sisters. And they would have done the same. Their bond was strong. It was the cement of their resistance. The fuel to go on and live day after day in this horrible environment.
Second: the friendship.
Sofia was very supportive of Leighton, always ready to welcome her or gift her something when money was tight at home. She never judged once. She never pushed. But she was always supportive.
Third: the love story.
I am also a romance reader and Liam's support was incredible. He may have been a star on the football field, beloved by so many at school, never did he make Leighton feel less than perfect.
He never pushed her but always stood by her side. Liam was a perfect book boyfriend! And I really liked to witness their relationship progress.
Fourth: the paranormal element.
Using the crows in this context was symbolic, like a storm brewing and building up and up. Becoming stronger day by day. They can't be ignored. They refuse to be ignored.
And the house also became the embodiment of the abuse, the anger. Some tangible evil entity, trapping the family inside and condoning the abuse.
I could honestly write an essay on that book as the layers of complexity are impressive. I know I will still ponder on the many thoughts I had while reading.
I think that book should be included in school programs to open the eyes, maybe free some tongues and who knows, save lives!
A HUGE thank you to Harper360UK for sending me this copy as I had a marvelous time reading it. And, of course it has no influence on my willing and always honest review.
On a side note, I have always loved crows as I believed they were very smart and this story just confirmed it!
Have you read something similar? What do you think of the cover?
Thanks for reading!
Sophie
Find me on:
Wordpress: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook: Beware Of The Reader
Facebook group : Beware Book Boyfriends Alert
Instagram: @bewareofthereader
Twitter: @BewareOffReader
July 9, 2024
once in awhile, I set aside my fantasy books and read something heavy.
This novel was beautiful and terrifying; the author wrote so well that the fear and terror the characters were feeling floated off the pages. I really did enjoy it though! There were some amazing characters and the romance 🥹! I think my favorite thing was probably the magical realism! It was so so cool.
As you can probably tell, there are a lot of trigger warnings/other content warnings in this book. I love all of you and I want you to feel safe and cared for so I’ll list them below:
trigger warnings: domestic abuse, verbal abuse, slight physical abuse, bullying, use/fear of guns
other content warnings: I get that domestic abuse can be verbal and the author probably wanted to illustrate that, but the language was just awful. There was like 20 F bombs and the mc gets called something really terrible. There was also several uses of s*** and d***.
I recommend this book, only if you are aware of what it holds ❤️❤️❤️
happy Monday 🫶🏻
This novel was beautiful and terrifying; the author wrote so well that the fear and terror the characters were feeling floated off the pages. I really did enjoy it though! There were some amazing characters and the romance 🥹! I think my favorite thing was probably the magical realism! It was so so cool.
As you can probably tell, there are a lot of trigger warnings/other content warnings in this book. I love all of you and I want you to feel safe and cared for so I’ll list them below:
trigger warnings: domestic abuse, verbal abuse, slight physical abuse, bullying, use/fear of guns
other content warnings: I get that domestic abuse can be verbal and the author probably wanted to illustrate that, but the language was just awful. There was like 20 F bombs and the mc gets called something really terrible. There was also several uses of s*** and d***.
I recommend this book, only if you are aware of what it holds ❤️❤️❤️
happy Monday 🫶🏻
October 31, 2023
✰ 4.25 stars ✰
“So I begin with the thesis statement, the truest sentence that I know, and every word thereafter must support my claim.
It is not the crows that make Auburn ugly.”
Like a punch to the heart If These Wings Could Fly is Kyrie McCauley's heart-wrenching YA debut novel. When I tell you how it shook me to the core - at how accurately it portrayed the way domestic violence is viewed - by those who are witnessing it and turning a blind eye, and those who are living it, but don't know how to address it.
“But I don’t know how to stay in this town one second longer than I have to, either.
How big is your brave? I think.
It isn’t very big. It’s small, and it’s shrinking.
What will it take to leave them: courage or cowardice?”
As the eldest of three sisters, Leighton Barnes carries the burden of not only trying to find a semblance of peace in a household that teeters on the threshold of an explosion of one wrong move - one step out of place, but also maintaining a nonexistent social life which slowly starts to get some needed attention when she attracts the attention of the high school's popular football star, Liam. If I told you that her voice as the narrator was incredibly done - would you believe me? How the author described all those fleeting instances of wanting to not be seen as an Ice Queen for not participating in school activities, because she couldn't risk the chance of stepping out of line - from being away from the house for too long, in case something would happen to her sisters in the midst of their father's erratic mood swings.
'To be honest, I think he’d yell even if we weren’t here. He just likes it better when we are.' Maybe because I have felt those same fears - that you don't know how long the peace will last, that anything can be the catalyst for things to escalate in the wrong direction. Of how you become an easy target simply for existing - for falling into their line of sight, making you a victim to cruel blows - whether verbal or physical. 😟😟 The writing did not demand forgiveness - it needed an understanding and an attention from those who were not. Leighton had such a powerful and confident feel to her. Seeing her brave the front in so many ways, because she's in her senior year and she knows this may be her last chance to make a stand, too afraid to leave her mother and her sisters, Campbell and Juniper, alone.
There's one particular scene - the morning after a very harsh and painful night of violence and fear - I know how it's 'mornings like this that hurt the most. When we are expected to pretend that everything is okay.' I have lived it - I have seen that raw feeling of not knowing what to expect if you don't go out and enter the fray of your parents' arguments - the uncertainty if you should brave the waters and step out to see if the coast is clear - does the silence mean things are alright, or is because your father has killed your mother in that waking moment? When your father addresses you in a degrading manner, even though it's not the first time - it still cuts right through you. 'Sometimes I really wish he were just mean through and through. Evil is easy to hate, but broken . . . broken can love and be loved.' THIS!
This right here - when you see the good sides that sometimes pave their way through - through the apologies laden with guilt - it makes it so much harder to completely cut them out of your life. 'Mom’s thesis statement became, “My life has meaning because he is in it.” And now every move she makes supports that claim' - this I have seen! I have seen this sentiment and it kills me at how some women have succumbed to the loss of their husbands' love - that without them, their life has no meaning. The writing was raw and intense, but how she remained faithful at showing Leighton's plight of being torn between familial loyalty or pursuing the prime times of her youth was again, really very well-done. 👌🏻👌🏻
“It’s strange how some things are lost to us forever, and some find their way home, and we have no way of knowing which ending it will be until and unless they return.”
I really liked Liam - their first meeting felt so very natural and the way that he made her feel so comfortable, let Leighton be herself, was so kind and appreciative of her talents as a writer, encouraged her to try new things, embraced her when she needed to be held and comforted, expressed his concern for her over her father's behavior, gave back the same feeling of openness and honesty - when he handed her the phone - that silent plea of just take it, so I know that you're okay - it broke my heart. 🥺🥺 It broke my heart, of how much of her life was lost to not being able to live - the missing moments that could have made memories all that more treasured.
Her relationship with her mother and her sisters was also so achingly real; how she wanted to protect them so much, taking the fall for actions that she wasn't even responsible for, the consideration she had for them and then even the annoyance of not being able to understand their feelings for their life - the excuses her mother made for his behavior, the comfort the sisters clung to by being together in the night - hoping that the morning things would look better. 😥😥 It's these little details that author showed take place in regards to whether it's Leighton's house or her sisters, or even how her mother treated their father, and even what her father's childhood was like, how it hardened him into the man he was - how his business was failing that hardened him still - every mention was significant. And seeing it lead up to the ending - it was gripping writing that made me so emotional and wary of what exactly awaited Leighton in her future. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
“I guess not. I’ve just always wondered . . .”
“Wondered what?”
“What we did to deserve . . .” Emotion makes her voice crack, and she stops talking.
“Nothing, Campbell. That’s why it isn’t real. There is no magical ledger of good and bad.”
“Maybe it’s too bad there isn’t, though.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because that means no one will ever punish him.”
I was a bit skeptical about the overwhelming presence of magical realism - how the number of crows inhabiting Auburn continued to increase as the situation in their house worsened. But, towards the end, after seeing the outcome, I kinda understand the reasoning behind it - the symbolism of how it impacted Leighton's life and that one special crow that was different from the rest. How it was a reference to how Leighton felt trapped down - by the townsfolk's reluctance to acknowledge something was wrong, by her father's cruel and hurtful behavior, by her family's inability to simply get away - a bird without wings... 💔💔
Even without the Author's Note explaining why she chose to include it, I saw that how their number growing actually reflected the visceral intensity of the Barnes family's situation. It was rapidly deteriorating at the same speed as to which the crows were not leaving the town of Auburn - much like how the problem at their house was not going away. And how it culminated in the end - how the family had to band together - uff, the chills that I had at the way the author built it up, the chills I'm having typing this - recalling the scene - 'because fear makes me act stupid. It makes me weak. I’d run, I want to tell the fluttering thing inside of me, if there were anywhere to go. There’s no place.
Noplaceintheworldtorun.'
That is gut-wrenching writing right there - one that I had to reread twice, because the way that scene was built up - how it speaks to those who have lived that fear for so long. 👏🏻👏🏻 On your own, without anyone being by their side to express their concern or share a simple word of kindness or care. It's one of the main focuses of this story, as well. The ignorance of people who refuse to see beneath the shadows - the lights that frame the house, not knowing what secrets lie inside. It's not enough to say that one shouldn't interfere in other people's business, but it's Leighton's own anger towards the townsfolk for staying silent for so long to her family's situation. It serves as a silent yet powerful warning to those who 'label ignorance as tradition and carry on as though they’ve earned the right to be cruel', they never can know how much of a life they could be saving simply by caring. Simply by lending a hand more than turning a blind eye to when you DO see something amiss. That rage that simmered in Leighton to those around her - it was gnawing at her, and when it exploded, I didn't blame her in the slightest for her call to action.
“They might say it isn’t that bad. I’m overreacting.
Or maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe they just expect me to accept that this is how things are.
Maybe fear is the toll women pay to exist in this world at all.”
Funnily enough, I've had this book with me since last year, I didn't even remember why I chose to read it or what it was even about. But, I think the not knowing what it's story was, made it all the more impactful for me - that it gave me the strength to continue reading even when I found Leighton's story so very relatable to me, and perhaps why I was drawn to reading it in the first place. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
“So I begin with the thesis statement, the truest sentence that I know, and every word thereafter must support my claim.
It is not the crows that make Auburn ugly.”
Like a punch to the heart If These Wings Could Fly is Kyrie McCauley's heart-wrenching YA debut novel. When I tell you how it shook me to the core - at how accurately it portrayed the way domestic violence is viewed - by those who are witnessing it and turning a blind eye, and those who are living it, but don't know how to address it.
“But I don’t know how to stay in this town one second longer than I have to, either.
How big is your brave? I think.
It isn’t very big. It’s small, and it’s shrinking.
What will it take to leave them: courage or cowardice?”
As the eldest of three sisters, Leighton Barnes carries the burden of not only trying to find a semblance of peace in a household that teeters on the threshold of an explosion of one wrong move - one step out of place, but also maintaining a nonexistent social life which slowly starts to get some needed attention when she attracts the attention of the high school's popular football star, Liam. If I told you that her voice as the narrator was incredibly done - would you believe me? How the author described all those fleeting instances of wanting to not be seen as an Ice Queen for not participating in school activities, because she couldn't risk the chance of stepping out of line - from being away from the house for too long, in case something would happen to her sisters in the midst of their father's erratic mood swings.
'To be honest, I think he’d yell even if we weren’t here. He just likes it better when we are.' Maybe because I have felt those same fears - that you don't know how long the peace will last, that anything can be the catalyst for things to escalate in the wrong direction. Of how you become an easy target simply for existing - for falling into their line of sight, making you a victim to cruel blows - whether verbal or physical. 😟😟 The writing did not demand forgiveness - it needed an understanding and an attention from those who were not. Leighton had such a powerful and confident feel to her. Seeing her brave the front in so many ways, because she's in her senior year and she knows this may be her last chance to make a stand, too afraid to leave her mother and her sisters, Campbell and Juniper, alone.
There's one particular scene - the morning after a very harsh and painful night of violence and fear - I know how it's 'mornings like this that hurt the most. When we are expected to pretend that everything is okay.' I have lived it - I have seen that raw feeling of not knowing what to expect if you don't go out and enter the fray of your parents' arguments - the uncertainty if you should brave the waters and step out to see if the coast is clear - does the silence mean things are alright, or is because your father has killed your mother in that waking moment? When your father addresses you in a degrading manner, even though it's not the first time - it still cuts right through you. 'Sometimes I really wish he were just mean through and through. Evil is easy to hate, but broken . . . broken can love and be loved.' THIS!
This right here - when you see the good sides that sometimes pave their way through - through the apologies laden with guilt - it makes it so much harder to completely cut them out of your life. 'Mom’s thesis statement became, “My life has meaning because he is in it.” And now every move she makes supports that claim' - this I have seen! I have seen this sentiment and it kills me at how some women have succumbed to the loss of their husbands' love - that without them, their life has no meaning. The writing was raw and intense, but how she remained faithful at showing Leighton's plight of being torn between familial loyalty or pursuing the prime times of her youth was again, really very well-done. 👌🏻👌🏻
“It’s strange how some things are lost to us forever, and some find their way home, and we have no way of knowing which ending it will be until and unless they return.”
I really liked Liam - their first meeting felt so very natural and the way that he made her feel so comfortable, let Leighton be herself, was so kind and appreciative of her talents as a writer, encouraged her to try new things, embraced her when she needed to be held and comforted, expressed his concern for her over her father's behavior, gave back the same feeling of openness and honesty - when he handed her the phone - that silent plea of just take it, so I know that you're okay - it broke my heart. 🥺🥺 It broke my heart, of how much of her life was lost to not being able to live - the missing moments that could have made memories all that more treasured.
Her relationship with her mother and her sisters was also so achingly real; how she wanted to protect them so much, taking the fall for actions that she wasn't even responsible for, the consideration she had for them and then even the annoyance of not being able to understand their feelings for their life - the excuses her mother made for his behavior, the comfort the sisters clung to by being together in the night - hoping that the morning things would look better. 😥😥 It's these little details that author showed take place in regards to whether it's Leighton's house or her sisters, or even how her mother treated their father, and even what her father's childhood was like, how it hardened him into the man he was - how his business was failing that hardened him still - every mention was significant. And seeing it lead up to the ending - it was gripping writing that made me so emotional and wary of what exactly awaited Leighton in her future. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
“I guess not. I’ve just always wondered . . .”
“Wondered what?”
“What we did to deserve . . .” Emotion makes her voice crack, and she stops talking.
“Nothing, Campbell. That’s why it isn’t real. There is no magical ledger of good and bad.”
“Maybe it’s too bad there isn’t, though.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because that means no one will ever punish him.”
I was a bit skeptical about the overwhelming presence of magical realism - how the number of crows inhabiting Auburn continued to increase as the situation in their house worsened. But, towards the end, after seeing the outcome, I kinda understand the reasoning behind it - the symbolism of how it impacted Leighton's life and that one special crow that was different from the rest. How it was a reference to how Leighton felt trapped down - by the townsfolk's reluctance to acknowledge something was wrong, by her father's cruel and hurtful behavior, by her family's inability to simply get away - a bird without wings... 💔💔
Even without the Author's Note explaining why she chose to include it, I saw that how their number growing actually reflected the visceral intensity of the Barnes family's situation. It was rapidly deteriorating at the same speed as to which the crows were not leaving the town of Auburn - much like how the problem at their house was not going away. And how it culminated in the end - how the family had to band together - uff, the chills that I had at the way the author built it up, the chills I'm having typing this - recalling the scene - 'because fear makes me act stupid. It makes me weak. I’d run, I want to tell the fluttering thing inside of me, if there were anywhere to go. There’s no place.
Noplaceintheworldtorun.'
That is gut-wrenching writing right there - one that I had to reread twice, because the way that scene was built up - how it speaks to those who have lived that fear for so long. 👏🏻👏🏻 On your own, without anyone being by their side to express their concern or share a simple word of kindness or care. It's one of the main focuses of this story, as well. The ignorance of people who refuse to see beneath the shadows - the lights that frame the house, not knowing what secrets lie inside. It's not enough to say that one shouldn't interfere in other people's business, but it's Leighton's own anger towards the townsfolk for staying silent for so long to her family's situation. It serves as a silent yet powerful warning to those who 'label ignorance as tradition and carry on as though they’ve earned the right to be cruel', they never can know how much of a life they could be saving simply by caring. Simply by lending a hand more than turning a blind eye to when you DO see something amiss. That rage that simmered in Leighton to those around her - it was gnawing at her, and when it exploded, I didn't blame her in the slightest for her call to action.
“They might say it isn’t that bad. I’m overreacting.
Or maybe it’s simpler than that. Maybe they just expect me to accept that this is how things are.
Maybe fear is the toll women pay to exist in this world at all.”
Funnily enough, I've had this book with me since last year, I didn't even remember why I chose to read it or what it was even about. But, I think the not knowing what it's story was, made it all the more impactful for me - that it gave me the strength to continue reading even when I found Leighton's story so very relatable to me, and perhaps why I was drawn to reading it in the first place. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
September 11, 2019
Normally, when writing reviews, I use an abundance of "amazing" and "fantastic", but this book deserves a better word. Maybe by the end of the review, I'll find it.
****Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for a chance to review this title ahead of its release date.
Gut-wrenching, magnificent...familiar. Just a few words to describe Kyrie McCauley's IF THESE WINGS COULD FLY. This book follows Leighton and her two younger sisters as they live through an abusive father and their complacent mother. It's Leighton's last year of high school, so she grapples with escaping her house for college, as well as the guilt of leaving her two sisters behind in a house that seems to fall apart around them. Amidst all of this, a strange influx of crows begins to appear in the town. As the boiling pot of her home begins to pour over, the population of crows soars, almost coincidentally. Woven together, we see a small town that turns a blind eye to those in need; children caught in the realization that their father could finally tip past the breaking point at any moment and destroy their lives forever.
To touch upon a few things...
The theme of domestic violence in the home was all too real, especially having lived through some of it myself so some scenes struck such a chord with me. It's true that, as children, to cope with such scary things we turn to fantasy and our imaginations and hoping that something outside the realm of the real world would come and save us, and sometimes realizing that maybe nobody was coming at all.
When coming to the love interest part of the story, I was afraid he'd come in as the savior, as most books tend to make the male character's. But Liam was not a savior. He was no even the rock that held Leighton up. He was just there for her, which is a good place to be.
MAGICAL REALISM. That is all.
Oh, did I mention I read this book in one sitting?
This is one of those books that every teen should read that may be in a situation of crisis. It's so real and so gorgeously written. This book is a lullaby for hope. I still didn't find that one word to describe IF THESE WINGS COULD FLY, but I don't know, maybe the five-star rating and my glowing review will speak for itself.
****Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for a chance to review this title ahead of its release date.
Gut-wrenching, magnificent...familiar. Just a few words to describe Kyrie McCauley's IF THESE WINGS COULD FLY. This book follows Leighton and her two younger sisters as they live through an abusive father and their complacent mother. It's Leighton's last year of high school, so she grapples with escaping her house for college, as well as the guilt of leaving her two sisters behind in a house that seems to fall apart around them. Amidst all of this, a strange influx of crows begins to appear in the town. As the boiling pot of her home begins to pour over, the population of crows soars, almost coincidentally. Woven together, we see a small town that turns a blind eye to those in need; children caught in the realization that their father could finally tip past the breaking point at any moment and destroy their lives forever.
To touch upon a few things...
The theme of domestic violence in the home was all too real, especially having lived through some of it myself so some scenes struck such a chord with me. It's true that, as children, to cope with such scary things we turn to fantasy and our imaginations and hoping that something outside the realm of the real world would come and save us, and sometimes realizing that maybe nobody was coming at all.
When coming to the love interest part of the story, I was afraid he'd come in as the savior, as most books tend to make the male character's. But Liam was not a savior. He was no even the rock that held Leighton up. He was just there for her, which is a good place to be.
MAGICAL REALISM. That is all.
Oh, did I mention I read this book in one sitting?
This is one of those books that every teen should read that may be in a situation of crisis. It's so real and so gorgeously written. This book is a lullaby for hope. I still didn't find that one word to describe IF THESE WINGS COULD FLY, but I don't know, maybe the five-star rating and my glowing review will speak for itself.
May 19, 2023
4.5 rounded up
"This house is unbroken the way a healed bone is: something was bent at an unnatural angle. Pushed too far until it snapped or shattered. But than it got better again... "
A stunning portrayal of domestic violence through the eyes of a teenager. Intens, hardhitting but immensly important.
"This house is unbroken the way a healed bone is: something was bent at an unnatural angle. Pushed too far until it snapped or shattered. But than it got better again... "
A stunning portrayal of domestic violence through the eyes of a teenager. Intens, hardhitting but immensly important.
January 29, 2025
Bin mir im Moment nicht sicher, ob ich es schaffe eine diesem Buch würdige Rezension zu schreiben.
November 6, 2019
Extending my deepest gratitude to Edelweiss and Katherine Tegen Books for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review. However, this does not affect any opinions or feedback stated concerning the book whatsoever.
TW: Obscenity, domestic violence and abuse, blood, racial slurs
3.75 rounded off to 4 hefty and cumbersome stars.
FRTC upon its official release.
Honestly, I had a hard time deciding what to rate this book. At some point, I enjoyed most of what happened, some parts of it got me and my emotions all over the place, made me understand hopelessness and gave new meaning to empathy, friendship, love and courage. But tbh, I did not get invested in the story right away. Instead, it had slowly eaten me up, swallowed me whole and plunged me into some place interesting as I moved along and apprehended the main character's family situation.
There were also too many relatable lines and quotes present in this book. I actually found the whole plot rather sanguine and vivifying, character arcs to be brilliantly crafted and well-thought of and the resolution unusually satisfying. The only thing that did not do well for me and is holding me back from giving it the perfect 5 stars that most readers would say it so truly deserves is the dreadful fact that it dragged on longer than it supposed to be. (Also, the number of chapters did not help) Otherwise, this would make for pretty much an exceptional debut novel coming from debut author McCauley herself. And I daresay this author and her future titles are definitely ones to watch and to die for.
TW: Obscenity, domestic violence and abuse, blood, racial slurs
3.75 rounded off to 4 hefty and cumbersome stars.
FRTC upon its official release.
Honestly, I had a hard time deciding what to rate this book. At some point, I enjoyed most of what happened, some parts of it got me and my emotions all over the place, made me understand hopelessness and gave new meaning to empathy, friendship, love and courage. But tbh, I did not get invested in the story right away. Instead, it had slowly eaten me up, swallowed me whole and plunged me into some place interesting as I moved along and apprehended the main character's family situation.
There were also too many relatable lines and quotes present in this book. I actually found the whole plot rather sanguine and vivifying, character arcs to be brilliantly crafted and well-thought of and the resolution unusually satisfying. The only thing that did not do well for me and is holding me back from giving it the perfect 5 stars that most readers would say it so truly deserves is the dreadful fact that it dragged on longer than it supposed to be. (Also, the number of chapters did not help) Otherwise, this would make for pretty much an exceptional debut novel coming from debut author McCauley herself. And I daresay this author and her future titles are definitely ones to watch and to die for.
May 11, 2020
**SOBS** When I got just a few chapters into this book, I couldn’t help but think WHY AM I NOT HEARING MORE ABOUT KYRIE MCCAULEY?! Well duh. It looks like this is her YA debut! I was really hoping to find a good YA novel to complete my week and this book was pretty much perfection for me. TRIGGER: Domestic violence. (But I deeply appreciate how the abuser is given a layered presence. While you may feel hatred toward the abuse, the story examines where it stems from. So powerful.)
The book spans four months — the first chapter begins on September 2nd and the final chapter begins on January 1st. Some favorite quotes:
I love how the main character notices that someone else’s dad has “a version of loud that isn’t angry.” Oooof.
Also important to know is the fact that there’s a bit of magical realism in this book, but it doesn’t completely dominate the story. It could even be attributed to the mental confusion experienced by victims of domestic abuse (but I personally don’t think that’s the case). No spoilers here, but I will say that if I never much liked crows before, I kinda do now. So wise. So instinctive. So protective. I look forward to seeing what others in our reading community think!!
For more children's literature, middle grade literature, and YA literature reviews, feel free to visit my personal blog at The Miller Memo!
The book spans four months — the first chapter begins on September 2nd and the final chapter begins on January 1st. Some favorite quotes:
“When the legacy is anger, the inheritance is fear.”
“Sometimes I really wish he were just mean through and through. Evil is easy to hate. But broken. Broken can love and be loved.”
I love how the main character notices that someone else’s dad has “a version of loud that isn’t angry.” Oooof.
Also important to know is the fact that there’s a bit of magical realism in this book, but it doesn’t completely dominate the story. It could even be attributed to the mental confusion experienced by victims of domestic abuse (but I personally don’t think that’s the case). No spoilers here, but I will say that if I never much liked crows before, I kinda do now. So wise. So instinctive. So protective. I look forward to seeing what others in our reading community think!!
For more children's literature, middle grade literature, and YA literature reviews, feel free to visit my personal blog at The Miller Memo!
January 15, 2025
✨5 stars✨
June 12, 2021
Leighton vive ad Auburn,Pennsylvania, ha diciassette anni e frequenta l'ultimo anno di liceo. La città in cui vive è stata invasa dai corvi,tanti,e tutti li temono tranne Leighton e le sue sorelline. La sua famiglia vive in costante tensione perché il suo papà perde spesso le staffe e sfoga la sua ira su di loro. Il suo sogno è quello di fuggire da quella cittadina per andare al college,ma i sensi di colpa verso le sue sorelle e la sua mamma è fortissimo. Sarà Liam a darle la forza di cercare di cambiare le cose.
"Ma a casa mia ho imparato che se una faccia della medaglia è il principe azzurro,il rovescio è tutt'altro che fiabesco"...
Una storia molto intensa dove l'autrice racconta con molto tatto e delicatezza la violenza psicologica che questa famiglia subisce per mano del capo famiglia.
Leighton è una ragazza cresciuta in fretta, la maggior parte della gente ,tra cui donne del posto, gira lo sguardo dall'altra parte facendo finta che tutto sia normale.
"Alle donne della sua generazione è stato insegnato che quel che conta è l'apparenza. Che essere una brava moglie è più importante di essere felice o di non essere in pericolo"...
"Aspiro quell'odore e penso alle donne tradite da altre donne. Donne che si sentono dire e non dai loro mariti ,ma dalle loro madri,dalle amiche,che per una moglie l'obbedienza conta più della vita. Donne che accettano di vedere un'altra donna maltrattata in nome di una tradizione,di una facciata'...
E poi c'è Liam,ho adorato questo ragazzo..
"Non so chi ha detto che "in guerra e in amore tutto è lecito " ma per me è una st......a. Quando ami qualcuno non lo tratti così. E alla fine non muori."
Una storia di sopravvivenza:"bisogna essere coraggiosi anche per riuscire a sopravvivere"..
Mi hanno colpito molto le considerazioni dell'autrice a fine libro..
"Capirete che la minaccia della violenza è una spada che ti pende sulla testa ,e averne paura a volte può essere peggio che subirne gli effetti. Che ciò di cui hai paura ha il volto di una persona amata e questo ti destabilizza profondamente"..
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"Ma a casa mia ho imparato che se una faccia della medaglia è il principe azzurro,il rovescio è tutt'altro che fiabesco"...
Una storia molto intensa dove l'autrice racconta con molto tatto e delicatezza la violenza psicologica che questa famiglia subisce per mano del capo famiglia.
Leighton è una ragazza cresciuta in fretta, la maggior parte della gente ,tra cui donne del posto, gira lo sguardo dall'altra parte facendo finta che tutto sia normale.
"Alle donne della sua generazione è stato insegnato che quel che conta è l'apparenza. Che essere una brava moglie è più importante di essere felice o di non essere in pericolo"...
"Aspiro quell'odore e penso alle donne tradite da altre donne. Donne che si sentono dire e non dai loro mariti ,ma dalle loro madri,dalle amiche,che per una moglie l'obbedienza conta più della vita. Donne che accettano di vedere un'altra donna maltrattata in nome di una tradizione,di una facciata'...
E poi c'è Liam,ho adorato questo ragazzo..
"Non so chi ha detto che "in guerra e in amore tutto è lecito " ma per me è una st......a. Quando ami qualcuno non lo tratti così. E alla fine non muori."
Una storia di sopravvivenza:"bisogna essere coraggiosi anche per riuscire a sopravvivere"..
Mi hanno colpito molto le considerazioni dell'autrice a fine libro..
"Capirete che la minaccia della violenza è una spada che ti pende sulla testa ,e averne paura a volte può essere peggio che subirne gli effetti. Che ciò di cui hai paura ha il volto di una persona amata e questo ti destabilizza profondamente"..
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Read
October 28, 2025No rating bc it feels wrong to rate this book based on things that happened 🙂↔️
January 31, 2021
I concur. This book was no where on my radar and then the YMAs announced this as the 2021 Morris winner. And I was the first in the queue for it then tore into it with the ferocity that Leighton protects her sisters. What does this book have to make it a winner? I have some guesses: 1) a heartbreaking story that is emotionally jarring but a story where kids are SEEN (as evidenced by McCauley's author's note). 2) Leighton wants to be the heroine of her own story and she'll get there, but sometimes it takes some help from friends (and while the cliché romance of a boy there to help her is something I often roll my eyes at, readers know Liam is the gentleman that has to show her what she knows to be true, not all men are bad, but her father is-- plus the sweetness and gentleness he provides is lovely). 3) The small town crossroads trope is what Zentner does well as do others and McCauley write it well too especially in incorporating the Auburn pride essay storyline to demonstrate the stuck many feel. 4) Liam. I'm getting the John Ambrose a la To All The Boys: PS I Still Love You Netflix movie vibes. 5) And last, the crows. The crows. The metaphorical magical realism is OFF THE CHARTS. The depths McCauley mines for the story and then when I scrolled (e-reader read, people) to get to the last chapter... *mic drop*. I literally shook my finger at McCauley "I see what you did there, I see what you did. I hate you for it and I love you for it."
This is the book that showcases the phrase "I contain multitudes." You root for Leighton. You root for Leighton and Liam. You root for the strength of Campbell and her friend, Joe, the crow. You want to believe that Leighton's mom will stand up for her and the girls. You want so, so much. It's the survival but the longing for it to finally be over. And the pain the Leighton knows for every good thing, something bad usually happens. It's the kind of book that demonstrates ACES and focusing on childhood trauma.
"As far back as I can recall, she's been the serious one. I'm a reader, sure, but Cammy is a thinker. She thinks while she brushes her hair, her fingers ruthlessly detangling knots in the shiny, straight red strands. She thinks while she eats her cereal... I know her better than I know anyone, but her mind is the Mariana Trench, and there are depths I'll never see. And that's okay. She can contain the secrets of the universe and keep every last one to herself for all I care, as long as she's still a kid sometimes. That's all I want."
"Mom puts the yellow roses in a vase on a table at the bottom of the stairs, next to the wilted red ones our dad gave her earlier this week. They smell so strongly as they wither and die that I nearly gag every time I pass them. I smell the roses and think of women let down by other women. Women who are told their obedience is more important than their voice, not by their husbands, but by their mothers, their friends. Women willing to watch each other get hurt for the sake of image and tradition."
"I pull a blue cardigan from my drawer. 'No, no, no, no. You aren't going to the library.' Campbell says, taking the sweater from my hands and throwing it into the back of my closet."
"Campbell holds out a bag, the dress store's name on the side. 'Sofia says that if you don't wear this to the dance, she can't be your best friend anymore.'"
"They stay here inside of me and make my stomach ache. Sometimes I think that if someone cut me open, the words would really be there. Like a whale that consumed too much garbage, and now her body is nothing but a time capsule for all the things humans throw away."
"But women write women as people. And Mary Shelley wrote men as monsters, and I love her for it. 'Beware; for I am fearless,' Mary Shelley wrote, 'and therefore powerful.' I wonder if that's true."
This is the book that showcases the phrase "I contain multitudes." You root for Leighton. You root for Leighton and Liam. You root for the strength of Campbell and her friend, Joe, the crow. You want to believe that Leighton's mom will stand up for her and the girls. You want so, so much. It's the survival but the longing for it to finally be over. And the pain the Leighton knows for every good thing, something bad usually happens. It's the kind of book that demonstrates ACES and focusing on childhood trauma.
"As far back as I can recall, she's been the serious one. I'm a reader, sure, but Cammy is a thinker. She thinks while she brushes her hair, her fingers ruthlessly detangling knots in the shiny, straight red strands. She thinks while she eats her cereal... I know her better than I know anyone, but her mind is the Mariana Trench, and there are depths I'll never see. And that's okay. She can contain the secrets of the universe and keep every last one to herself for all I care, as long as she's still a kid sometimes. That's all I want."
"Mom puts the yellow roses in a vase on a table at the bottom of the stairs, next to the wilted red ones our dad gave her earlier this week. They smell so strongly as they wither and die that I nearly gag every time I pass them. I smell the roses and think of women let down by other women. Women who are told their obedience is more important than their voice, not by their husbands, but by their mothers, their friends. Women willing to watch each other get hurt for the sake of image and tradition."
"I pull a blue cardigan from my drawer. 'No, no, no, no. You aren't going to the library.' Campbell says, taking the sweater from my hands and throwing it into the back of my closet."
"Campbell holds out a bag, the dress store's name on the side. 'Sofia says that if you don't wear this to the dance, she can't be your best friend anymore.'"
"They stay here inside of me and make my stomach ache. Sometimes I think that if someone cut me open, the words would really be there. Like a whale that consumed too much garbage, and now her body is nothing but a time capsule for all the things humans throw away."
"But women write women as people. And Mary Shelley wrote men as monsters, and I love her for it. 'Beware; for I am fearless,' Mary Shelley wrote, 'and therefore powerful.' I wonder if that's true."
September 25, 2022
The main story was interesting, but the virtue signaling was very annoying and took me out of the story in several places. There were whole chapters dedicated solely to advocating leftist views. Summed up, everyone’s a victim, women aren’t treated the same as men, men are evil, republicans are racist and mean, and if your black your just screwed! My favorite was the old republican lady next door who ignores the kids cries for help and tells them she won’t help them because it’s a woman’s place to stay with her man no matter what “cue eye roll.” Republicans don’t think like this, but it’s just one of many examples of the authors false perception of them lol. It got annoying really fast though. The author also manages to paint the mc’s boyfriend who is black as a victim even though he was anything but that in the story. He was a popular kid, best on his football team, getting accepted to major universities, and he came from a loving home with both his parents, but through the whole book all we hear about is what a victim he is? This book is very politically motivated. Just be aware of it going in.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 4, 2023
Übersetzt von Uwe-Michael Gutzschhahn
„Unsere Familie ist ein Sonnensystem mit Planeten, die mit jedem Vorfall ein Stück weiter aus ihrer Umlaufbahn geschleudert werden. Wir umkreisen uns in einem wachsenden Chaos, planlos und brutal, alle auf den Einschlag gefasst. Und ich weiß nicht, wie ich mich aus dem Ganzen lösen soll, denn es herrscht eine Schwerkraft hier, zwischen uns. Es gibt die guten Finge, die uns zusammenschweißen.“
Eine Empfehlung einer Buchhändlerin und mein erstes (Jugendbuch) zum Thema häuslicher Gewalt. Dieses Debüt der Autorin hat mich schwer begeistert!
Sie schafft es mit klaren Worten, aber auch tollen Metaphern einen sehr angenehmen Schreibstil zu kreieren, dem ich gerne gefolgt bin. Ich war den Protagoonist*innen, besonders Leighton, aus deren Sicht wie die Geschichte lesen, schnell extrem nah. Wir erfahren einiges über Ihre Familie und wie es dazu kam, dass der Vater mehr und mehr zu Hause ausrastet. Diese Szenen gingen mir besonders nahe und die Autorin hat das beklemmende Gefühl extrem gut transportiert, obwohl ich zum Glück keinerlei eigenen Erfahrungen mit dem Thema habe. Durch die zwei jüngeren Schwestern wird Leightons Belastung besonders deutlich. Sie steckt im Zwiespalt zwischen dem Kümmern um die Schwestern und die Hoffnung auf ein Studium, welches sie von zu Hause ausbrechen lässt.
„Was ist das Gewicht eines Wortes? Vielleicht wird es in Tinte und Papier gemessen. Vielleicht aber auch daran, wie diel Schmerz es verursacht. Besonders bei den laut und mit Wut ausgesprochenen Worten.“
Wir erleben nicht nur wie Leighton, ihre Mutter und Schwestern unter dem Vater leiden, wie die dörflichen Strukturen und auch das veraltete Rollenbild der Menschen dazu führen, wie weggeschaut wird. Es geht um Abhängigkeiten, aber auch die komplexe Struktur eines solchen Konflikts. Es ist nicht eindimensional, was mir sehr gut gefallen hat.
„Ich weiß wie viele Stunden der Angst in dem Ausdruck „häusliche Auseinandersetzungen“ enthalten sind. Es steckt eine ganze Historie seelischer Qualen dahinter.“
Die „Krähenplage“ welche über die Kleinstadt Auburn hereinkommt, sowie die Darstellung des Hauses würde ich als Elemente des magischen Realismus bezeichnen. Ich fand sie wunderbar eingesetzt, um Szenen noch symbolkräftiger zu machen. Es hat mich in feinster Weise gestört, minimal irritiert zu Beginn, aber es ist ein sehr unterstützendes Element bei dieser Geschichte.
Fazit: Absolut lesenswert, nicht nur für Jugendliche!
PS: Liam ist mein neuer Book-Boyfriend! Wow, der perfekte Nebencharakter für Leighton. Bei allem was Leighton durchmachen muss, habe ich auch keine Sekunde verschwendet mir Gedanken zu machen, wie realistisch der Charakter ist. Leighton hat Liam verdient!
LESEMONAT OKTOBER 2023: https://youtu.be/dCArg1FvswI
„Unsere Familie ist ein Sonnensystem mit Planeten, die mit jedem Vorfall ein Stück weiter aus ihrer Umlaufbahn geschleudert werden. Wir umkreisen uns in einem wachsenden Chaos, planlos und brutal, alle auf den Einschlag gefasst. Und ich weiß nicht, wie ich mich aus dem Ganzen lösen soll, denn es herrscht eine Schwerkraft hier, zwischen uns. Es gibt die guten Finge, die uns zusammenschweißen.“
Eine Empfehlung einer Buchhändlerin und mein erstes (Jugendbuch) zum Thema häuslicher Gewalt. Dieses Debüt der Autorin hat mich schwer begeistert!
Sie schafft es mit klaren Worten, aber auch tollen Metaphern einen sehr angenehmen Schreibstil zu kreieren, dem ich gerne gefolgt bin. Ich war den Protagoonist*innen, besonders Leighton, aus deren Sicht wie die Geschichte lesen, schnell extrem nah. Wir erfahren einiges über Ihre Familie und wie es dazu kam, dass der Vater mehr und mehr zu Hause ausrastet. Diese Szenen gingen mir besonders nahe und die Autorin hat das beklemmende Gefühl extrem gut transportiert, obwohl ich zum Glück keinerlei eigenen Erfahrungen mit dem Thema habe. Durch die zwei jüngeren Schwestern wird Leightons Belastung besonders deutlich. Sie steckt im Zwiespalt zwischen dem Kümmern um die Schwestern und die Hoffnung auf ein Studium, welches sie von zu Hause ausbrechen lässt.
„Was ist das Gewicht eines Wortes? Vielleicht wird es in Tinte und Papier gemessen. Vielleicht aber auch daran, wie diel Schmerz es verursacht. Besonders bei den laut und mit Wut ausgesprochenen Worten.“
Wir erleben nicht nur wie Leighton, ihre Mutter und Schwestern unter dem Vater leiden, wie die dörflichen Strukturen und auch das veraltete Rollenbild der Menschen dazu führen, wie weggeschaut wird. Es geht um Abhängigkeiten, aber auch die komplexe Struktur eines solchen Konflikts. Es ist nicht eindimensional, was mir sehr gut gefallen hat.
„Ich weiß wie viele Stunden der Angst in dem Ausdruck „häusliche Auseinandersetzungen“ enthalten sind. Es steckt eine ganze Historie seelischer Qualen dahinter.“
Die „Krähenplage“ welche über die Kleinstadt Auburn hereinkommt, sowie die Darstellung des Hauses würde ich als Elemente des magischen Realismus bezeichnen. Ich fand sie wunderbar eingesetzt, um Szenen noch symbolkräftiger zu machen. Es hat mich in feinster Weise gestört, minimal irritiert zu Beginn, aber es ist ein sehr unterstützendes Element bei dieser Geschichte.
Fazit: Absolut lesenswert, nicht nur für Jugendliche!
PS: Liam ist mein neuer Book-Boyfriend! Wow, der perfekte Nebencharakter für Leighton. Bei allem was Leighton durchmachen muss, habe ich auch keine Sekunde verschwendet mir Gedanken zu machen, wie realistisch der Charakter ist. Leighton hat Liam verdient!
LESEMONAT OKTOBER 2023: https://youtu.be/dCArg1FvswI
August 20, 2020
Книга на очень актуальную в данный момент тему. И жаль, что прошла без особого внимания.
February 15, 2021
This book has really high reviews so I’m clearly going against the grain when I say that I was not a fan. I liked it for a while. Leighton’s personality revolved too much around school and the guilt of leaving her sisters, in my opinion, but we eventually got to see some of her personality when she (spoiler, I guess) starts dating Liam. I liked Liam’s character and some of their conversations. But honestly, this just got boring and monotonous for me. It felt like it dragged on, with the same scenarios recurring over and over: something about crows, a terrible incidence of domestic violence at home, interactions with Liam, interactions with sisters, rinse and repeat. The magical elements didn’t work for me and it felt like they clashed heavily with the otherwise contemporary realism of the story. Also, the parents felt very one-dimensional to me. The father’s past was touched-upon a lot but he was just a figure of violence and anger. The mother never felt fully fleshed-out as a character to me either, and her reasons for continually allowing her daughters to be in extreme stress and danger felt very flimsy. I understand that it can be very difficult for women to leave abusive relationships for a multitude of reasons, but I think that there needed to be more work done on the characters and relationship of the parents for it to feel more realistic. There were also times when the dialogue felt forced to me, and the pacing was off, with a good portion of the book feeling very slow and the end wrapping up really quickly and abruptly. It’s good to see the very important and sadly too-common issue of domestic violence addressed in a novel, but I just wasn’t a fan of this rendering.
March 14, 2020
Tw: domestic violence and abuse
It's Leighton's senior year and she is focused on school so she can get into a college far away, eager to escape her house. At the same time, she struggles with the guilt of leaving her two younger siblings behind.
I haven't lived through any of what Leighton has gone through, so I'm really not to person to judge how realistic it really is, but from what else I've read, this is probably one of the most realistic feeling domestic violence and abuse books I've read. I thought that the complicated feelings were well portrayed as they all try to deal with it and figure out what to do.
Though, my favorite part of this book, that I have to applaud McCauley on, was how Leighton's love interest with Liam played out. She's going through something that I feel like so many love interest would jump at the chance to play savior and fix her problems, but Liam never did that. He was there for her and supported her when she needed it. It was so sweet. I really loved that he didn't turn into a savior.
There was so much support throughout this book. Leighton's friend Sofia also was there for her. I really loved the relationship Leighton had with her sisters. They had this bond together and all fought to protect each other from what was going on in the household and tried to make it the best place it could be.
If These Wings Could Fly was a heavy book, but it also had so many small moments that made it a little sweet at the same time. For a debut, this is incredibly strong and I'm eager to see what else this author writes.
It's Leighton's senior year and she is focused on school so she can get into a college far away, eager to escape her house. At the same time, she struggles with the guilt of leaving her two younger siblings behind.
I haven't lived through any of what Leighton has gone through, so I'm really not to person to judge how realistic it really is, but from what else I've read, this is probably one of the most realistic feeling domestic violence and abuse books I've read. I thought that the complicated feelings were well portrayed as they all try to deal with it and figure out what to do.
Though, my favorite part of this book, that I have to applaud McCauley on, was how Leighton's love interest with Liam played out. She's going through something that I feel like so many love interest would jump at the chance to play savior and fix her problems, but Liam never did that. He was there for her and supported her when she needed it. It was so sweet. I really loved that he didn't turn into a savior.
There was so much support throughout this book. Leighton's friend Sofia also was there for her. I really loved the relationship Leighton had with her sisters. They had this bond together and all fought to protect each other from what was going on in the household and tried to make it the best place it could be.
If These Wings Could Fly was a heavy book, but it also had so many small moments that made it a little sweet at the same time. For a debut, this is incredibly strong and I'm eager to see what else this author writes.
March 13, 2021
❐ Overall Rating 4⭐ | Narration 😁 = Very Good
❐ Narrated by Lisa Flanagan
❐ Listening Length: 7H 40M
❐ YA Contemporary
❐ Abuse
❐ Magical Realism
❐ Cover-Love
The quote in my graphic is actually from Forest Gump...this story made me remember Jenny in the cornfield reciting this. The magical realism, the crows, the abuse...this entire story felt like an ode to that scene in the movie. This is actually what I liked best about the story. Overall, a heartfelt story...it was missing a little something, maybe...like it didn’t quite “stick the landing”, but still a worthwhile listen.
(cawpile score = 7.93/10)
❐ Narrated by Lisa Flanagan
❐ Listening Length: 7H 40M
❐ YA Contemporary
❐ Abuse
❐ Magical Realism
❐ Cover-Love
The quote in my graphic is actually from Forest Gump...this story made me remember Jenny in the cornfield reciting this. The magical realism, the crows, the abuse...this entire story felt like an ode to that scene in the movie. This is actually what I liked best about the story. Overall, a heartfelt story...it was missing a little something, maybe...like it didn’t quite “stick the landing”, but still a worthwhile listen.
(cawpile score = 7.93/10)
July 14, 2020
Ein gewaltiges Buch, ein absolutes Jahreshighlight!
December 9, 2021
Dieses Buch ist so verdammt gut. Es wird so nah am Herzen erzählt, dass man denkt, man wäre dort, dass man denkt, man wäre im Haus. Die Tatsache, dass die Autorin häusliche Gewalt mit Surrealis verbindet und dies auch zeigt, macht dieses Buch so berührend. Ich hab ein bisschen sehr viel geweint. Eines der besten Bücher dieser Thematik.
July 5, 2023
Maybe all the things we create have some piece of us, something we impart, or something we just leave behind.
Content warning: domestic violence.
I have a love-hate relationship with contemporary novels. I get excited reading the summary but almost always, they end up disappointing me. But halfway through this book, I was sure this would end up being a favourite. If These Wings Could Fly is about seventeen-year-old Leighton, who is struggling to hold onto things as her father wreaked havoc in her life. She wants to get out of her miserable town however, that would mean leaving her mom and sisters to become his prey.
While the obvious fears of a domestic abuse survivor are constantly discussed on public platforms, there are many details that would go amiss in these discussions. The author had mentioned several subtle details that Leighton notices all around her. This attention to attribution is the reason why this book felt very personal to me.
Leighton was kind, brave and was an anchor for her sisters. Her character was developed wonderfully throughout the story. It was painful to see how Leighton and her sisters were suffering because of their father. Liam was nothing short of a gentleman and I love that many YA novels now have tender-hearted love interests. And the writing was gorgeous! The eloquent writing and slow pace added the perfect atmosphere to the story.
I read it as an e-book and I adored it so much that I wanted to have a physical copy. You can imagine my pain when I realized that this book is not available in India(T_T) Nonetheless, I am in love with this book and I will keep an eye out for the author's next work.
Edit : I was able to buy a hardcover copy of this book. It was super expensive but 100% worth it^_^
February 16, 2024
Hypothetisch betrachtet ist ein Zuhause nicht mehr als der Ort, wo man lebt. Hypothetisch betrachtet hat ein Zuhause nicht mehr für einen übrig als ein Dach über dem Kopf. Und doch... entgegen jeder Hypothese ist ein Zuhause nicht zwangsläufig ein Ort, sondern mehr ein Gefühl- eins von Sicherheit und Geborgenheit, von der Gewissheit, dass nichts passieren kann. Doch was ist ein Ort zum Wohnen ohne dieses Gefühl? Ein Ort voller Angst und Unwohlsein, mit der Gewissheit, dass im nächsten Moment etwas passieren kann - alles passieren kann.
Es ist ein extrem gutes und spannendes Buch. Für alle, die nicht allzu viel von Büchern halten, welche ernste Themen behandeln - hier gibt es auch einen mystischen Aspekt und ganz viele Raben^-^. Also auch für euch was dabei. Ich finde den Schreibstil wirklich angenehm - einziges Manko: hier sind einige Grammatik- und Rechtscheibfehler enthalten bzw fehlen in manchen Sätzen einfach irgendwelche Wörter, welche für den Kontext nicht zwangsläufig von Nöten aber zum flüssig Lesen durchaus vorteilhaft gewesen wären. Aber dennoch: gradiose Umsetzung eines wirklich schwierigen Themas :) absolut lesenswert.
Es ist ein extrem gutes und spannendes Buch. Für alle, die nicht allzu viel von Büchern halten, welche ernste Themen behandeln - hier gibt es auch einen mystischen Aspekt und ganz viele Raben^-^. Also auch für euch was dabei. Ich finde den Schreibstil wirklich angenehm - einziges Manko: hier sind einige Grammatik- und Rechtscheibfehler enthalten bzw fehlen in manchen Sätzen einfach irgendwelche Wörter, welche für den Kontext nicht zwangsläufig von Nöten aber zum flüssig Lesen durchaus vorteilhaft gewesen wären. Aber dennoch: gradiose Umsetzung eines wirklich schwierigen Themas :) absolut lesenswert.
January 25, 2020
Content-Warnung: (explizite Darstellungen) häuslicher Gewalt, Sexismus
You arenot safe here hatte ich ehrlich gesagt nicht wirklich auf dem Schirm gehabt, bis ich vom dtv Verlag damit überrascht wurde. Titel und Cover machten den Eindruck eines Psychothrillers auf mich, aber als ich den Klappentext las, wurde ich hellhörig: Es wird explizit erwähnt, dass das Buch von häuslicher Gewalt handelt. Was die Krähen damit zu tun haben und wieso das Päckchen vom Verlag ebenfalls ein paar schwarze Federn beinhaltete, erschloss sich mir noch nicht ganz. Ich würde jedoch schnell merken, dass der erste Eindruck eines Psychothrillers gar nicht so falsch lag – nur mit dem Unterschied, dass die Gefahr nicht von außen, sondern vom Inneren kommt. Von einem Ort, den man eigentlich mit Geborgenheit verbinden sollte, zumindest mit einer gewissen Art von Sicherheit: das eigene Zuhause.
Aber häusliche Gewalt ist eben nicht nur rohe Gewalt. Es geht dabei um Aushandlungen von Macht, um Abhängigkeitsverhältnisse, und in den meisten Fällen ist sie damit unmittelbar mit Geschlechterfragen verknüpft. McCauley arbeitet diese Komplexität beeindruckend auf, indem sie nicht grundsätzlich gegen Männer polemisiert oder Frauen in den Schutz nimmt, sondern die gesellschaftliche Reaktion auf Fälle häuslicher Gewalt (gegen Frauen) und damit sowohl die Rollen von Männern (im Sinne toxischer Männlichkeit) als auch von Frauen (als Mittäterinnen) hinterfragt. Sie schreibt nicht nur von den Tätern, sondern auch von denjenigen, die bei häuslicher Gewalt wegschauen und denjenigen, die es kleinreden. Allein damit gewann das Buch schon einen Platz in meinem Herzen.
Überhaupt gefiel mir, wie reich das Buch an Diskussionsstoff ist. Leighton setzt sich im Rahmen ihres Literaturkurses und ihrer Tätigkeit bei der Schülerzeitung mit diversen Klassikern, aber auch mit Krähen auseinander, wobei ihre Erkenntnisse oder Meinungen geschickt in den Text eingeflochten werden, ohne dass es plakativ wirkt. Im Gegenteil: Sie lassen sich immer wieder mit dem Geschehen rund um Leightons Vater zusammenbringen. Dadurch entsteht ebendiese Rückbindung an die oben erwähnten Diskurse, aber auch Diskussionen unter den Charakteren, wenn beispielsweise Leighton sich im Unterricht gegen einen sexistischen Kommentar ihres Mitschülers verteidigt und in der Klasse eine Feminismus-Debatte ausbricht.
Für die Repräsentation der häuslichen Gewalt kann ich nicht direkt sprechen, aber McCauley geht in ihrem Nachwort darauf ein, dass es sich bei You arenot safe here um ein Buch handelt, das sie selbst als Jugendliche gebraucht hätte. Das liest man, finde ich, sowohl in der Darstellung der Machtkonstellationen im Haus als auch in der Hoffnung, die sich immer wieder anbahnt. Obwohl das Buch ausschließlich aus Leightons Perspektive verfasst ist, wird ersichtlich, dass es bei häuslicher Gewalt nicht damit getan ist, die Polizei zu rufen, und dass insbesondere die Partner*innen der Täter*innen diese nicht „einfach“ verlassen können, sondern komplexe Abhängigkeiten vorherrschen. Während Leightons Mutter die Entschuldigungen ihres Ehemannes wiederholt hoffnungsvoll annimmt und von Leighton noch am Anfang des Buchs gar nicht erst auf eine mögliche Trennung angesprochen werden will, ist auch das Verhältnis zwischen Leighton, ihren Schwestern und ihrem Vater nicht ausschließlich von Angst und Hass geprägt. Indem sie keine einfache Lösung anbietet, trifft die Autorin genau den Nerv.
Bei der Repräsentation der häuslichen Gewalt kommen auch endlich die Krähen ins Spiel. Klingt abstrus, doch die Antwort ist magischer Realismus. Ich hatte nicht damit gerechnet (bin eigentlich auch immer unsicher, ob ich das in Büchern mag oder nicht), war aber positiv überrascht. Lediglich zum Ende hin wurde es mir ein wenig zu viel, aber die Atmosphäre, die diese magischen Elemente durch das Buch hinweg erzeugten, war wirklich grandios und trug zu der Darstellung des Konflikts maßgeblich bei. Ich will nicht zu viel verraten, außer, dass es sich bei Leightons Zuhause um ein Haus handelt, das die Wut ihres Vaters widerspiegelt, und bei den Krähen um sehr schlaue Kreaturen, die eine größere Rolle in dem Geschehen spielen als erwartet.
Ihr merkt es schon: You arenot safe here hat mich ungemein packen und begeistern (solche Verben fühlen sich bei solchen Themen immer falsch an) können. Als würde nicht all das, was ich bisher erwähnt habe, für ein großartiges Buch genügen, war ich auch unglaublich positiv überrascht von der Liebesgeschichte. Relativ bald lernen sich Leighton und das Love Interest Liam kennen, und was sich zwischen den beiden entwickelt, könnte sogar die gesündeste Beziehung sein, die ich jemals in YA gelesen habe? Sie kommunizieren darüber, was sie wollen, respektieren die Grenzen des bzw. der anderen, sie lernen sogar, miteinander zu streiten, ohne ein riesiges, toxisches Drama vom Zaun zu brechen, und Liam ist einfach eine unglaubliche Unterstützung, sobald sich Leighton ihm anvertraut. (Ich bin immer noch ein wenig baff.) Unterstützung kriegt Leighton aber nicht nur von Liam, sondern auch von seiner Familie, die sie kennen und lieben lernt, und von ihrer besten Freundin Sofia. An irgendeinem Punkt des Romans stellt man fest, dass sie ein riesiges Netz aus Liebe um sich herum hat und das löst trotz der furchtbaren Situation, die sich in ihrem Zuhause abspielt, ein seltsam wohliges, hoffnungsvolles Gefühl aus.
Dass You arenot safe here Kyrie McCauleys Debüt ist, merkt man bestenfalls an kleineren inhaltlichen bzw. stilistischen Ungereimtheiten und dem minimal überstürzten Ende, was alles aber an meiner uneingeschränkten Leseempfehlung nichts rütteln kann. Sie behandelt das Thema der häuslichen Gewalt auf eine unglaublich komplexe und sensible Weise und konzipiert den Plot so geschickt, dass man das Buch kaum aus der Hand legen kann, und bringt damit eine ordentliche Portion frischen Wind in das Young Adult-Genre. Wirklich, wirklich großartig!
4,5 Sterne
You are
Aber häusliche Gewalt ist eben nicht nur rohe Gewalt. Es geht dabei um Aushandlungen von Macht, um Abhängigkeitsverhältnisse, und in den meisten Fällen ist sie damit unmittelbar mit Geschlechterfragen verknüpft. McCauley arbeitet diese Komplexität beeindruckend auf, indem sie nicht grundsätzlich gegen Männer polemisiert oder Frauen in den Schutz nimmt, sondern die gesellschaftliche Reaktion auf Fälle häuslicher Gewalt (gegen Frauen) und damit sowohl die Rollen von Männern (im Sinne toxischer Männlichkeit) als auch von Frauen (als Mittäterinnen) hinterfragt. Sie schreibt nicht nur von den Tätern, sondern auch von denjenigen, die bei häuslicher Gewalt wegschauen und denjenigen, die es kleinreden. Allein damit gewann das Buch schon einen Platz in meinem Herzen.
Überhaupt gefiel mir, wie reich das Buch an Diskussionsstoff ist. Leighton setzt sich im Rahmen ihres Literaturkurses und ihrer Tätigkeit bei der Schülerzeitung mit diversen Klassikern, aber auch mit Krähen auseinander, wobei ihre Erkenntnisse oder Meinungen geschickt in den Text eingeflochten werden, ohne dass es plakativ wirkt. Im Gegenteil: Sie lassen sich immer wieder mit dem Geschehen rund um Leightons Vater zusammenbringen. Dadurch entsteht ebendiese Rückbindung an die oben erwähnten Diskurse, aber auch Diskussionen unter den Charakteren, wenn beispielsweise Leighton sich im Unterricht gegen einen sexistischen Kommentar ihres Mitschülers verteidigt und in der Klasse eine Feminismus-Debatte ausbricht.
Für die Repräsentation der häuslichen Gewalt kann ich nicht direkt sprechen, aber McCauley geht in ihrem Nachwort darauf ein, dass es sich bei You are
Bei der Repräsentation der häuslichen Gewalt kommen auch endlich die Krähen ins Spiel. Klingt abstrus, doch die Antwort ist magischer Realismus. Ich hatte nicht damit gerechnet (bin eigentlich auch immer unsicher, ob ich das in Büchern mag oder nicht), war aber positiv überrascht. Lediglich zum Ende hin wurde es mir ein wenig zu viel, aber die Atmosphäre, die diese magischen Elemente durch das Buch hinweg erzeugten, war wirklich grandios und trug zu der Darstellung des Konflikts maßgeblich bei. Ich will nicht zu viel verraten, außer, dass es sich bei Leightons Zuhause um ein Haus handelt, das die Wut ihres Vaters widerspiegelt, und bei den Krähen um sehr schlaue Kreaturen, die eine größere Rolle in dem Geschehen spielen als erwartet.
Ihr merkt es schon: You are
Dass You are
4,5 Sterne
August 16, 2019
I would give this book 100 stars if Goodreads would let me.
This book is beautiful, heartbreaking, necessary, and literally (and I do mean literally) gave me chills at certain points.
McCauley is a gorgeous writer, and she seamlessly weaves together a story about a family being eaten from the inside out by an angry and destructive father. The pacing is pitch perfect. Okay now I'm crying writing this review thinking about the story. {I also cried while finishing it like 2 hours ago. I'm just a mess. I love this book.}
Please pick up this book. It deserves all the eyes possible on it. Leighton's story needs to be told and we need to listen to it and digest it and take it into our hearts and hold it tight. It is important. It is sad.
It is beautiful.
Read this book.
This book is beautiful, heartbreaking, necessary, and literally (and I do mean literally) gave me chills at certain points.
McCauley is a gorgeous writer, and she seamlessly weaves together a story about a family being eaten from the inside out by an angry and destructive father. The pacing is pitch perfect. Okay now I'm crying writing this review thinking about the story. {I also cried while finishing it like 2 hours ago. I'm just a mess. I love this book.}
Please pick up this book. It deserves all the eyes possible on it. Leighton's story needs to be told and we need to listen to it and digest it and take it into our hearts and hold it tight. It is important. It is sad.
It is beautiful.
Read this book.
August 3, 2021
So my co-worker Ann told me for months that I needed to read this and this was the best book she read this year.
So I read it.
Let's just say that I finished this book at work and immediately had to go reprimand her for not warning me that this is something I SHOULD NOT have been reading at work. I was surrounded by other coworkers and telling them how great it was in between my laughing and tearful sobs, so yeah. Amazing book. Please read.
So I read it.
Let's just say that I finished this book at work and immediately had to go reprimand her for not warning me that this is something I SHOULD NOT have been reading at work. I was surrounded by other coworkers and telling them how great it was in between my laughing and tearful sobs, so yeah. Amazing book. Please read.
July 16, 2023
I don’t get why more people don’t talk about how amazing and beautiful this story is
January 13, 2024
This book was amazing. I’m not sure why I was surprised when I got to the author’s note and learned that she was a victim of domestic violence. It made my heart hurt. Luckily I have no experience with this subject but this book made me realize what it would feel like. The author explains it’s a survival story and a book of hope. I see that now that I’ve finished it. Plus there’s a great story of first love that melted my heart. Why didn’t I give this 5 stars? Only because this may not be for everyone, but I will remember these feelings for a long time.
September 10, 2021
4.5 … C’était VRAIMENT GÉNIAL!!! Un mélange d’histoire familiale, de relations fortes, de paranormal, de violences domestiques et conjugales, une petite romance. Genre… tellement un beau mélange!! J’ai adoré ma lecture, l’intrigue, les personnages (Leighton et Liam… mes deux personnages chouchou). Leighton est une jeune femme tellement forte, je l’admire tant!! Quel personnage féminin incroyable. Et Liam… quoi dire de plus qu’il est parfait!!! ❤️ Genre lisez tous ce livre guys!!!
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