Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Adults and Youth

by Paula Prober

Do you long to drive a Ferrari at top speed on the open road, but find yourself always stuck on the freeway during rush hour? Do you wonder how you can feel like “not enough” and “too much” at the same time? Like the rain forest, are you sometimes intense, multilayered, colorful, creative, overwhelming, highly sensitive, complex, and/or idealistic? And, like the rain forest, have you met too many chainsaws?

Enter Paula Prober, MS, MEd, who understands the diversity and complexity of minds like yours. In "Your Rainforest Mind: A Guide to the Well-Being of Gifted Youths and Adults," Paula explores the challenges faced by gifted adults of all ages. Through case studies and extensive research, Paula will help you tap into your inner creativity, find peace, and discover the limitless potential that comes with your Rainforest Mind.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Education, Personal Development, Parenting, Science

193 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2016

About the author

Paula Prober is a licensed counselor in private practice in Eugene, OR, USA. She counsels gifted adults in Oregon and consults with parents of gifted children and with gifted adults internationally. She's been a teacher and presenter with University of Oregon, Oregon State University and Pacific University. Paula has presented on the topic of the social-emotional needs of the gifted at various conferences and webinars. Paula's blog Your Rainforest Mind can be found at http://rainforestmind.wordpress.com.

Reviews

[Kerry Yandel · Rating 2 out of 5]

What I appreciated most about this book was all of the resources the author points readers to. Otherwise, after the first chapter or 2, it became a bit tedious to read in depth about so many of the author's personal client case studies. A few stories to illustrate, fine, but over and over exploration of the journeys of these other people proves to be less of a resource to me than clear identification of aspects, definitions and qualities thereof, and brain-based research to explain the science behind the functioning of the mind. The strategies provided at the end of each chapter also became rather common-sense, feel-good approaches to life management and not so much analytically reasoned resources or tools.

[Lucinda Leo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your Rainforest Mind is a life-affirming book about ‘excessively curious, idealistic, sensitive, highly intelligent humans’. Author Paula Prober refers to these individuals as RFMs or ‘rainforest minds’.

Why read Your Rainforest Mind?

- Because the countless examples of what it’s like to be an RFM will make you laugh and cry and feel validated for the amazing being that you are
- Because the book is filled with practical strategies to help with the everyday challenges RFMs face
- Because of the dozens of links to books, articles and websites for further research
- Because after reading it you’ll be a hundred steps closer to knowing your place in this world
- If you’re bringing up a young RFM, you’ll worry less and enjoy your child more

When you grow up believing there’s something wrong with you because you’re so different from other people, you get used to camouflaging yourself to be accepted. Buried deep within, your authentic self yearns to be heard – and yet you don’t even realise the extent to which you’re denying it. Then you read stories like the ones that fill this book, and you nod and you cry as you realise you’re not the only one who feels this way. And gradually that hidden self begins to feel safe to come out and be seen.

I loved the book's exploration of perfectionism – both intrinsic and extrinsic – and its link to procrastination. I loved the discussion about how choices, possibilities and multipotentiality can be overwhelming. I loved the practical strategies for dealing with the big and small challenges gifted individuals face. I resonated with the chapter on loneliness, and resolved to take action to connect with other RFMs. And I adored the chapter on 'Authenticity, Creativity and Spirituality' which finally made me realise that my lifelong search for spiritual meaning isn't an aberration from my intelligence, but a part of it.

I whole-heartedly agree with the Amazon reviewer who says this book rises to the top of the giftedness literature for its holistic approach to understanding gifted people.

(For a longer review, see my blog Laugh, Love, Learn)

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for anyone who is gifted, might be gifted, has a gifted child, or has ever crossed paths with a gifted person. Somehow I discovered Paula Prober's blog, and her posts resonated so deeply with me that when I learned she was writing a book, I eagerly anticipated snapping up a copy.

One common thread in her interactions with clients is that many of them did not realize they had "Rainforest Minds" (were gifted). I think part of the problem is that giftedness is defined so narrowly in other resources. Paula understands the heart of giftedness, the things that either can't be seen from the outside, or that look pathological to the untrained observer. Gifted individuals are very diverse and do not always fit the lists of typical traits that I've seen in other (boring) resources. That said, I could see a little bit of myself in every single case study. Learning about the two types of perfectionism (good and bad) was particularly helpful for me--now I know better than to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Perfectionism may be my worst enemy at times, but it is also my driving force.

Beyond the good information, Paula just "gets" how to speak the language of the gifted person. The analogies she uses are at times touching, and at times very amusing. The way she threads words together speaks to the soul. Anyone who reads this book will wish they could have Paula as a therapist.

Your Rainforest Mind is a celebration of giftedness. It's permission to be different without worrying about it, and a lesson in acceptance and being gentle with yourself.

[Lisa Swaboda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though I’m very familiar with Paula and her Rainforest Mind blog (https://rainforestmind.wordpress.com/) , I was even more excited to peer into her world through her new book, Your Rainforest Mind. I discovered so much more than I imagined.

In Your Rainforest Mind, you’ll join Paula on a trek as she recounts her life experiences and insights gained through her work as a gifted educator and current psychotherapy practice. Though every Rainforest Mind is exotic and beautiful, it can also be a scary place. Paula asks us to take her hand as we explore the wild with her. During the tour, she points out many exotic creatures that you’ll come to see as yourself. If you're interested in finding out more about yourself, you need to join her!

Her book dives into Dabrowski’s Overexcitabilities and carries us through Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism. She encourages us to face our inner critic and support our inner child. Her resources and strategies are both lush and abundant. It’s a beautiful journey that you don’t want to miss.

[George · Rating 2 out of 5]

The biggest benefit of this book is the amount of resources it offers for further reading. The content on it's own is very basic and introductory, so for that I think it's a bit overpriced. Still, you can consider it as "supporting" the author who provides a lot of resources for free on on her website.

Content-wise, I still don't like the term "gifted" or "Rainforest mind" and all the spiritual (angels, spirits, etc), mentions and references. I wanted more scientifically backed up evidence, that are just not there. It felt again and again as if I was reading a children's book.

Still, for someone who wants to quickly get a structured introduction to the topic and this is the first book they read, it would be useful.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Appreciated this as an intro to the topic of “giftedness”, but this book is also a real reminder of why most people resent the term. At the end of the day it’s just another form of neurodivergence, so I’d appreciate a resource that:

A) Isn’t profoundly elitist and saccharinely self-congratulatory
B) Doesn’t at some point take a sharp left turn into new-age, sixth-sense, angels-and-spirits content
C) Has some sort of basis in actual neurological studies???

Basically, I want facts on what is going on in the “gifted” brain and how to cope with it in the real world — while it’s nice to have good bedside manner, it appears many resources on giftedness are missing the most important components to be helpful to real people.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a therapist working with gifted children and their families, I have read my share of materials on the subject. Paula Prober's book, Your Rainforest Mind, is now in my top 5 and I will be recommending it to the parents with whom I work. The book is chock full of insightful information that is sure to benefit gifted adults, parents, educators and counselors alike. Paula generously gifts the reader with an enormous array of resources that cover each aspect of giftedness. I am so grateful to Paula for sharing her wealth of experience and knowledge so freely in this wonderful guidebook. If giftedness is a part of your world on any level, this book is a must-have!

[Umberto · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a book full of case examples surrounded with quotes, basic psychological theory and advice, and many reading tips. I kept wondering where the actual content was hidden, but never found it.

[Sortal · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is highly unlikely to appeal to the many gifted adults who value logic and evidence-based critical thinking.

For me, this lost credibility by recommending natural remedies, clairvoyance, astral travel, and astrology. In the penultimate chapter, titled "Authenticity and Creativity and Spirituality, Oh My!" it really goes off the rails, bringing in 'rainforest mind' experiences of "ESP, memories of previous lives... prenatal memories... visions... miracles, and... intimate personal relationships with God, angels, saints, or spirit guides."

Each chapter ends with a few case studies of clients Prober has worked with. These always have happy endings and come across as a highlights reel of therapeutic successes.

Hiding the term 'gifted' in the byline does nothing to shake the air of elitism that comes with the territory. Personally, I find 'rainforest mind' an even worse term than 'gifted.' Prober writes,

"If you think of people as ecosystems, you can see some as meadows, others as deserts, some as mountains-and some as rain forests. While all ecosystems are beautiful and make valuable contributions to the whole, rain forests are particularly complex: multi-layered, highly sensitive, colourful, intense, creative, fragile, overwhelming, and misunderstood, while thick with possibility and pulsing with life, death, and transformation. You could say that a rain forest has far more variety than say, a meadow or a wheat field. The rain forest is not a better ecosystem, just more complicated. It also makes an essential contribution to the planet when allowed to be itself, rather than when cut down and turned into something that it is not."

Sure, a desert is a beautiful ecosystem in its own right, but the stark contrast of a 'rainforest mind' and a neurotypical 'desert mind' is an ugly one.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book felt like a warm, soft blanket. Comforting, reassuring, emboldening, enlivening. The last chapter was a disquieting end to the book, but the rest was just what I needed to read and re-read. I especially appreciate the tips for accepting and appreciating my rainforest mind while also finding easier ways to manage daily life, as well as the resources listed at the end of every chapter. This book is a gift!

[Jorane Janssens · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Keep searching for yourself. Do as much therapy, reading, writing, obsessing, questioning, crying, analyzing, creating, dancing, exercising, building, snowboarding, and rebelling as you need to do to get to what feels like your soul’s song. Then sing it. No matter what anyone tells you, sing out. The Universe will thank you."

[Jackie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never felt so seen by a book. BRB crying.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was the first thing I have read that helped me understand myself. I adore this book. Accessible, easy to read, examples from clinical work and well researched. Highly recommend.

[happy liang · Rating 4 out of 5]

the fact that i picked up this book in the first place proves my narcissism and overall insufferable personality. disregarding that, some points.

1, i only related (and by this i mean really, really, really related) to exactly one chapter of this book. apart from that one chapter, this book was completely useless to me.
2, this book is in no way well-written. just wanted to put that out there.
3, to be fair, it's clear the author did a lot of study and research behind the book.
4, it felt like a therapist session, and it might be the best therapy session ever because as insufferable as this book is, i have never felt more understood in that singular chapter.

all in all, you don't need to be narcissistic like me to read this book. it covers areas of what prober calls a 'gifted mind' but in reality i think that everyone can relate to at least a little bit of it. she talks about having 'too much' of one trait (for example empathy), not feeling like you're enough, perfectionism, procrastination, indecisiveness and more. so yeah. would recommend reading the part where you feel like relates to yourself, and skimming past the other parts.

[Charles · Rating 3 out of 5]

The use of the concept "Rainforest Mind" rather than the rather general term of "gifted" is a good idea and this book explains and expands on that concept. It's very heavy on examples and case studies, and while they are interesting they begin to run together after a while. There are a large number of suggestions for strategies to deal with psychological issues, which is a strong positive of the book. Not all will work for people but different individuals might find some to help them. It also includes a pretty extensive reading list, which could also be useful.

[Andreas Hofer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Are you highly sensitive, smart, complex, creative, intense, curious and misunderstood? According to Paula Prober (Your Rainforest Mind, 2016), these are the typical signs of a rainforest mind. Prober is a former teacher of gifted children and has coined the term rainforest mind. I have to admit, after having read dozens of books on gifted and twice exceptional children, I found the book rather underwhelming. It is poorly structured, quite repetitive, leaves a lot unclear (e.g. if there is a difference between HSPs and RFMs - both concepts are based on overexcitabilities), and overuses anecdotal evidence. The author frequently tells her readers frequently just to read some of her main sources, such as Elaine Aaron, Susan Cain and watch a couple of TED-talks. Even the metaphor of the rainforest seems to work poorly: “Like the rain forest, are you intense, multilayered, colorful, creative, overwhelming, highly sensitive, complex, idealistic, and influential?” WTF?


Nevertheless, the book is well worth reading as it offers some great insights into the struggles of gifted and 2e children and teens.


Contrary to the mythology that “smart” people will be just fine without help, what often comes with smart is excessive doubt, anxiety, depression, shame, and loneliness. [...] Billy, 16, had been experiencing severe anxiety, missing several days of school. His mother described him as “hard on himself,” a “perfectionist,” and “very sensitive.” He felt judged, misunderstood, and bullied by peers. Never identified in school as gifted, Billy assumed there was something seriously wrong with him. He knew he was different, but he did not know why.



Anyone familiar with the concept of neurodiversity will immediately find themselves at home here: social struggles, bullying, anxiety, depression, loneliness. The word ADHD comes up almost a dozen times in the book and yet Prober insists that RFMs are misdiagnosed with ADHD. As someone who can identify both as ADHD (undiagnosed) and RFM, I find this stance quite annoying and I was reminded of Elaine Aaron’s insistence that HSPs have NOTHING to do with ASD. While a lot of HSPs/RFMs might be reluctant to be labelled ASD/ADHD it equally makes no sense to me to exclude neurodiverse people. In fact, I would even argue that most gifted people are neurodiverse. A woman on the spectrum recently blogged: “Why is HSP still code for ASD?”. One might equally argue that RFM is code for ADHD.


Prober could improve her rainforest metaphor a lot by reading Thom Hartmann, who argued that people with ADHD have a hunter mind. Indeed, the only people really living in rainforests today are slash-and-burn horticulturalists like the Yanomami and hunter-gatherers like the Aka. I agree with Hartmann that such nomadic hunter-gatherers require different cognitive skills and more flexible minds than sedentary farmers, who are far more specialised, which has its manifestation as trait conscientiousness on the level of personality psychology. Multipotentiality is the term Prober refers to in this context and its signs are:



Feeling like a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none
Feeling like a dilettante
Changing majors in college many times
Taking longer to get through college
Not going to college because you cannot decide on a major
Having a terrible time choosing one career
Frequently changing jobs and/or careers
Being told you can do anything you want (Aren’t you lucky?)
Not feeling lucky

In 1972, R.H. Frederickson et al. defined a multipotentialite person as someone who, “when provided with appropriate environments, can select and develop a number of competencies to a high level.” From the point of evolutionary psychology this is exactly what we would expect in the changing, fluid environments of hunter-gatherers as compared to the more stable, routine-like environment of farmers. Despite book titles such as Why Generalists Win by David Epstein, specialists tend to have the safer life path, from schooling to getting employed. Of course, generalists like Einstein, who completely fits the description of a RFM, do occasionally win, but I am quite sure that a lot of RFMs feel unlucky and think like they just didn’t win in the lottery of life.


The difference between farmer and forager minds can often be seen in children and teens when they get asked what they want to be later in life. Farmer type children tend to be very specific, like a truck driver or a policeman. Forager type children are often less sure or at a loss. John Lennon famously answered “Happy”. When his teacher said that he hadn’t understood the question, he unanswered that the teachers didn’t understand life.


The concept of RFM is therefore very close to that of an “orchid child”. As Thom Hartmann argued, a hunter mind will do worse at farmer tasks (e.g. route learning and routine work), and we mostly live in a farmer world. Of course, most people alive today have a mixed forager-farmer genetic heritage, so we see many different shades of the phenomenon, such as neurodiversity, gifted, RFM and HSP. And they generally tend to come as spectra.


For more on the hunter-gatherer neurotribe check out my book:



https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0836LW5QV

[Alecia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this for a course for work, and while I do think there are a lot of good takeaways and strategies provided, there was also a lot of fluff and sections I found hard to find meaning in.

[Lu-K · Rating 4 out of 5]

me lo recomendó una psicóloga, bastante relatable

[Eric Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Told via a series of case studies based on actual clients, Paula Prober has written a pioneering text that describes the deep complexity of individuals who are gifted, whether or not they identify as such. As is often said in the world of folks living with autism (as well as other neurological conditions), "if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." Such is the case for those who are gifted: the whole of who they are varies broadly and may include challenges in addition to the presumed gifts and talents. Thus the "rainforest mind" metaphor; such individuals present to the world (and themselves) as a richly complex ecosystem, abundant even in their own local segments of the forest.

In this concise work, Prober lays out a range of characters she has found common to many of the the clients she's worked with over the years (both teens and adults). This is not to say there is a strict checklist for how a person with a rainforest mind presents. Rather, she presents a palette of characteristics that can be helpful to individuals as well as to those who have a relationship with such individuals. And this understanding can bring comfort to those who may feel that they don't always fit comfortably into conventional social and societal molds.

[Esther Arrindell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heerlijk boek, over de veelzijdigheid van breinen zolas de mijne. De vergelijking met een regenwoudgeest (in tegenstelling tot breinen die meer lijken op een weiland, een berg of (zelfs) een woestijn!) vind ik wel wat ongelukkig (en ik vergis me steeds en zeg dan dat ik een regenboogbrein heb, wat weer hele andere associaties oproept... 😀) - maar what's in a name?! De inhoud van het boek spreekt me erg aan en ook hier vond ik veel herkenning en duiding. De veelzijdigheid van mijn gedachten en de bijbehorende nodige balans in input en rust: erg herkenbaar! Daarnaast geeft het boek een overdadige hoeveelheid verder-lees-tips. Veel onderstreept, zeker nog een keer lezen. En nog een keer. En nog een keer. 😊

[Víctor R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book about gifted adults and their problems which offer are overseen even by themselves. To the date it is the best book on the topic I found and I am recommending it to everyone I am aware they have that rainforest mind (I see it as a personality and a way of being) but who are often completely unaware of their own qualities and the reason of so much suffering in their life’s, and as usual very skeptical. If you are unsure about it take the test from the first chapter which you can download for free for Amazon’s kindle.

I hesitated giving 5 stars because the book doesn’t go deeper in the recommended exercises, which I. The other hand that would have made the book an attempt of therapy for a large heterogeneous group.

[jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow

I was put in a gifted program as a kid but was always under the impression it was for academically advanced students. I guess I am realizing that my brain just functions entirely different from the average person. I have always had social awkwardness and basically every trait listed throughout this book, except for the extroverted personality. I will be utilizing many of the suggestions throughout this book to make things a little less complicated for myself.

[Claire E. E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderfully eye-opening book for those of us who feel a bit "more" than others. If you've ever been labeled as gifted, or too sensitive, or just too much, you might find a bit of yourself in this book. It's a short read, but packed full of epiphanies and comprehensive examples and advice. Love love love love love love love it!

[Angelita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book!

This book was a great read because the many different stories of her clients were identifiable. I also like that she recommends further reading material and helpful suggestions at the end of chapters. I wanted to read more and was disappointed at getting to the ending so quickly.

[Ash · Rating 5 out of 5]

It seems I am not as alone as I believed

This book opened the windows in my soul. Fresh air is billowing in. A gloriously refreshing cleansing and purifying sensation. I can finally breathe deeply.

[Miriam R · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend for gifted adults who wants to understand their own complexity. This book reassures that giftedness has a place in the world, that intensity and emotional sensitivity can be tamed, without diluting one's own profoundness.

[Penny · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dnf. Recommended by someone but too spiritual for me and filled with stories of people who saw the author (therapist) for a few months and were "cured."

[Paige Kieding · Rating 4 out of 5]

life-affirming, uplifting, and deeply insightful. this book made me feel so seen.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one is interesting because it's life affirming in some ways, and fear affirming in others. Before I elaborate, I'll add the context that I feel like Paula's "Rainforest mind" umbrella possibly covers too broad a spectrum of neurodivergence. It's quite possible that my mixed feelings stem from the fact that not all of the topics covered, therefore, apply to everyone.

In the ways that it is life affirming, there are a few chapters here that are stood out as having a clear message and providing reasonable/useful advice. I don't think any of them are particularly scientific but this is clearly a self-help book; it's not and couldn't be positioned to "give the answers", especially given that Paula Prober herself does not identify as neurodivergent (more on that later).

That said, I found the chapter on intensity/sensitivity to be alright, the chapter on loneliness to be pretty good, and the chapter on multipotentiality to be excellent. Admittedly the multipotentiality chapter may impact major life/career choices for me (in what is presumed to be a good way); the book was relatively worth reading to find it. That said, all of these chapters do a decent job at providing a reasonable framework to understand these issues and gives decent and thoughtful calls to action at the end of the chapters.

The way the book is fear-affirming is how some of the other chapters delve into "frou frou" territory like endorsing talking to trees and rocks, leaning into naive ideals about saving the world, talking to spirits, etc. This point has certainly been made in other reviews, and Paula herself even admits in the awful spirituality chapter to being "self-righteous, out of her league, and too frou-frou".

But in the context of some of the book being fear affirming, what I'm referring to specifically is this weird overly-celebratory and saccharine texture that comes from the author, despite not actually being neurodivergent and by extension, not having had first-hand experience dealing with having a complex and gifted mind. It affirms the fear that "rainforest minds" cannot really be understood by neurotypicals; that they're doomed to be constantly in this outsider bucket, where even someone who has spent most of their professional life working with them still sees them as being "magical" rather than digging deeper to understand which parts of the "magic" are and are not maladaptive.

I think Paula is well-meaning and she makes a clear effort to really try to not dismiss valid concerns. But that's precisely what is problematic about this: *despite* this fact, she still ends up missing the mark, and it's due to a lack of understanding of the people she's talking about and to, even with the best intention. In perfect agreement with Hanlon's razor.

I think a less celebratory and more realistic view would've been appreciated by a lot of the target audience. I suppose I'm speaking for myself here but "rainforest minds" want to really understand and be better; I wish Paula spent more time providing framework that is possible to be understood; rather than the washed out "it's magic" version of it.

[James Keane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve never liked the word “gifted” because it’s too singular, ignoring the many gifts people have to offer, and placing a premium on cognitive intelligence. I’ve assumed it’s used loosely (almost carelessly) as a proxy for “smart,” and only applies to precocious children. I was funneled into “gifted” programs at a young age but do not believe I’m uniquely gifted, so I was interested to better understand the term.

Prober suggests a particular slate of traits cluster among gifted people, including sensory sensitivity, feeling out of sync with biological age vs maturity age, and a strong sense of social justice. It suggests giftedness persists through adulthood, and it coins the term “rainforest mind” to describe this cohort, which I appreciate because it’s more specific and descriptive.

This book is mostly a series of anecdotes—stories of people with “rainforest minds” who are in therapy. The anecdotes are organized by theme, and the author explains how she helps each person. I found it interesting, and I believe people with “RFMs” will find it life-affirming. At times I was craving more macro-level discussion of this population, as opposed to back-to-back anecdotes, which became exhausting to tread through. But it’s a quick read, and I appreciate Prober pointing out that this population has unique needs. I hope her insights lead to more research, so this population can be better served.