What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets to a Happy Life

by Marlo Thomas, Phil Donahue

Power couple Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue have created a compelling and intimate collection of intriguing conversations with famous couples about their enduring marriages and how they have made them last through the challenges we all share.

What makes a marriage last? Who doesn’t want to know the answer to that question? To unlock this mystery, long-married icons Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue turned to forty celebrated couples whose long marriages they’ve admired—from award-winning actors, athletes and newsmakers, to writers, comedians, musicians, and a former U.S. president.

Marlo and Phil are a beloved couple who have been married for forty years, yet have rarely spoken publicly about their relationship, and have never written a book together. Now, for the first time, they also include the secrets to what has kept their own marriage alive and loving.

Inspiring and insightful, What Makes a Marriage Last offers practical and hard-won wisdom for couples of all ages. Learn about soul-deep passion from Sting and Trudy Styler; how Billy and Janice Crystal keep the love and laughter alive; and why Judges Judy and Jerry Sheinlin’s divorce didn’t last but their marriage did. Also included in this impressive collection: Arlene and Alan Alda, Elton John and David Furnish, John McEnroe and Patty Smyth, George Stephanopoulos and Ali Wentworth, Lisa and Mehmet Oz, Bob Woodward and Elsa Walsh, and Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, who take the prize as the book’s longest married couple—seventy-four years, and counting.

What Makes a Marriage Last includes forty-three black-and-white and color photos throughout the book and on the endpapers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Marriage, Relationships, Self Help, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

640 pages, ebook

First published May 5, 2020

About the author

Margaret Julia "Marlo" Thomas is an American actress, producer, author, and social activist best known for starring on the sitcom That Girl (1966–1971) and her award-winning children's franchise Free to Be... You and Me.

Thomas serves as National Outreach Director for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, which was founded by her father Danny Thomas in 1962.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible compilation of different takes and from all walks of life for what makes a marriage last. My favorite quote from the book, “Marry the person, not the potential.” I think so many marriages don’t work nowadays because people go into it to give it a try and thinking they are going to change that person. People don’t change! You can evolve and grow but for the most part, we don’t change.

[Arlene Hayman · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's ironic that I would choose to read a book about lasting marriages, when I am no longer in a current relationship. However, this book intrigued me, as having been married for over 30 years, I sought to find out the secret to lasting marriages of celebrated couples. Were they happily married, or were they living together in toleration of each other? I'm not sure that I found the true answer to that question, but I did notice that most of the couples faced obstacles that interfered in their marriages, and they sought some kind of counselor or therapist from which to help resolve the issues. Honest, empathetic communication seemed to foster a resolution to many of the issues they encountered. From the stories presented, it was easy to recognize that a great deal of effort was extended by both partners to make these marriages work. Aside from those similarities, each relationship had its fine nuances and personal idiosyncrasies to make the couples' lives unique and interesting.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved hearing the stories of resilience, determination, sacrifice, and love. Amazing to me to think of relationships where there is no fighting, but also that rocky relationships can also survive. I think at the end of the book, it might've been nice to have a summary of key takeaways from each one of the interviews.. but overall the book provides great insight, a few laughs, and a great reason for introspection.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being married many decades, I could relate to many of the stories of the long-time couples being interviewed. Some the couples were famous, sometimes both were famous individually. After 30 or so couples, the repetition set in and the need for an editor to cull out.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A feel-good book that I could actually concentrate on during the “Great Distraction” that is this pandemic. Appreciated the pearls and the kindred spirits.

[Jeannie]

It is hard to rate this book. It is long and I only read the story of 30 of the couples I was interested in.
They are short memoirs of when and how the couples met. That was interesting and I liked learning about them. At another time I might read about the other 10 couples in the book.

It is not for everyone.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book full of stories of couples who have had long-lasting marriages. Each one is as unique as the parties involved and, no, they don't all say the same thing to explain the success of their relationships. I presumed I would hear communication, forgiveness, lots of sex, and compromise as the answer. Yes, they were included but many other things, too. A delightful read for anyone in a marriage, contemplating marriage, or wondering what they could have done to keep their marriage going.

[Christen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book about different couples and what has made their marriages work. I learned something from all of them...but I especially loved Michael J Fox and Tracey Pollan.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I seem to be in the minority on this book. I really enjoyed some of the stories but found them to be repetitive - almost every home was "warm" "inviting" etc. I could have done with less intrusion by Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas as well. It was fine when the introduced themselves but then I would like to have heard more from the couples and LESS from Donahue and Thomas. These people are long-married so obviously they are older. Yet I found some of the questions to be quite sexist. I know Marlo Thomas is a big feminist but she and Donahue often identify responses and behavior as specific to one gender (sons are sloppy, daughters are more likely to resent a step-parent). I really enjoyed some of the couples, especially the Carters, Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest, Sting and Trudy Styler, but others weren't all that interesting.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of interesting stories from almost all progressive couples but the couples are so cloaked in privilege I don't know how well it actually translates into normal life marriage. But was entertaining, albeit a little long.

[Jeimy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every one of these celebrity couples offers valuable advice that is useful for convivial living.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the time I picked up this book, my husband and I had logged over 31 years of marriage. Insights from others--especially interesting celebrity couples--about what's made their marriages succeed were therefore welcome. Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue did a terrific job of creating an inspirational, revealing and conversational book that is accessible. Incidentally, this book would be of interest even to unmarried readers, since it offers so many juicy details about the marriages of people you "know" from the broader world. Don't miss the spicy life of George Stephanopoulos and Allie Wentworth, for instance!! You'll love Alan Alda and his wife, Arlene, even more after reading their chapter. Chip and Joanna Gaines share a lot about how they balance their marriage, which clearly involves two very different personalities. Other favorites of mine were Michael J. Fox/Tracy Pollan, Kelly Ripa/Mark Consuelos, Ron/Cheryl Howard and Ted Danson/Mary Steenburgen. There is a lot of heft to this volume and surely some of the couples' chapters would capture anyone's attention. Focusing on success stories makes for a good way to start off a new year--especially since there is so much else out there in our world at present that is NOT positive.

[Carole · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of stories about what made their marriages last, as told by 40 couples, was wonderful. I was divorced in 2005 after 37 years of what I thought was a good marriage. This book opened my eyes to the fact that in some ways it never was as good as it could have been, and some of that was definitely on my shoulders. I gave no regrets at this point, but if the opportunity ever came along and marriage was on the horizon for me, this book taught me many things I would strive to do differently in a second marriage and even suggested things I’ll strive for in relationships with some close friends. I really enjoyed reading about such a variety of marriages and the depths of love, kindness, and intentionality that characterized each relationship. I also enjoyed learning some about the authors’ own marriage. I’d recommend it.

[Nancy G · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was fun at first with focus on what makes a good, lasting marriage. After a while, it read as marriage tips from the rich and famous. I would have preferred looking at relationships when the couple doesn't have a multi-million dollar budget. How do couples deal with long- term illness when they don't have a full time assistant? How can they get therapy when their insurance doesn't cover enough sessions? How do they deal with juggling leaks in the roof, putting food on the table, and missing work due to a sick child?

[Kary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well I read this on kindle but I think I want to own it so that I can have hubby read it too. Interesting reading about how others handle conflict and what makes their marriage work. Every pointer helps to see a different side of the coin. I think I learned a lot and hope to practice some of what I learned

[Mary Northrup · Rating 4 out of 5]

To celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary, Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue interviewed 40 couples about their marriages. Included are actors, musicians, athletes, authors, journalists, and political figures. They spoke to gay and lesbian couples and to people from a wide variety of cultures. This book rises above a celebrity tell-all; the subjects of these interviews talk seriously about their relationships, with all the normal stresses of life and then complicated by being in the public eye.

[Onceinabluemoon · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounding up because I adore that girl! Listened to the audio ALL day, it's a long one, but loved the peek into so many successful marriages, coupled with a bit of personal history on so many varied couples. I think they are the perfect couple, a delightful book and refreshing break from so much negativity in the world right now.

[Tanz · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fantastic book that I would recommend to married couples and those wishing to get married. The book was full of some great gems of wisdom! I skipped about 4 chapters as they had non-relatable/non-relevant marriages.
I was thrilled that they added the couple with a combined age of 212 at the end. What a wonderful surprise!!

[Rosemary · Rating 2 out of 5]

Forty interviews was too many for me.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is comprised of many short interviews of famous couples, I really only wanted to read about
LL Cool J and his wife Simone. I read only about the couples that I was interested in.

[Quintin Reitzel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful!

[Kristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot recommend this book enough! I initially heard about this book on a Podcast when the couple was being interviewed regarding their first book together. I loved listening to each couples experiences and what has kept their lasting marriages.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue interview over forty celebrity couples about how they met and made their marriages work.

[Diane Sapitro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! These two are magic together and it was nice to read of other couples who’ve had long successful and happy marriages!

[Stephanie Farmwald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great stories, advice, and examples from so many very different successful relationships. I will definitely take pieces of this with me on my life's path.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been married 44 years. I bought a copy of this book for myself, but also gave a copy to friends of mine who just celebrated their 1st anniversary and are in their 30s. (Paper anniversary, you know. 😉) I found it fascinating that some traits of a good marriage are universal, but others are are particular to just that couple. (George Stephanopoulous and Ali Wentworth -- yowza!) Though some interviews get a bit repetitive, I still found it quite enoyable. I think anyone who is married, no matter how long, can gain a lot of insight into their own marriages. The Bonus Chapter is especially lovely. Big thumbs up to Marlo and Phil.

[Rhonda Lomazow · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book famous couples in long lasting happy marriages.A peek into their private life each couple shares the ups and downs their happy moments the way they resolve problems,I loved reading this warm wonderful book.I marred very young and my husband and I made sure our marriage would be our safety zone We would always be happy to come home.We are in a long marriage that has always been nurturing full of love and laughs.This gorgeous book shares happy marriages real marriages grab this book.Marlo andPhil share their love story fights and all but always love,

[Sylvia Valevicius · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book of interviews with long-married couples I found completely enjoyable! Most of the couples, straight and gay, are celebrities, but that would be the circle the authors live in. Nevertheless, it's interesting to read about this segment of society who DO stay married, what it is that keeps them together. I found many surprises and laughed a lot during the reading. The authors sparkle with personality, describe the various home settings where the interviews take place, etc. A great job by this married couple, married 40 years themselves, with forty interviews - a huge task, but lots of variety. I loved this book. If you're starting out, read and learn! I recommend it to anyone who cares about having a long happy marriage. And I'm not even a candidate for this list, but enjoyed the vicarious pleasure. It made me feel good about humanity. Great job, Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did enjoy this book but there are too many interviews and I will have to get a written copy in order to write some of the good suggestions down in order to ponder them more.

[Jane · Rating 1 out of 5]

Once again I seem to be the outlier here. The book sounded so good and I couldn’t wait to read it. But once I started it I found it to be not a book of shared secrets of happy lives but rather the a book of ways that the rich and famous or the celebrities of the world make their own lives work. I think Kevin Bacon summed it up best when he said, “My first piece of advice is not to take advice from celebrities.” This book read more like a gossip magazine or a selection of “look-how-great-I/we-am/are” stories than a real in-depth study of what makes a great marriage. In addition, even though I think highly of both of the authors, they added too much personal information, which made it look like they were trying to all be better than each other. If you are happily married, you don’t need this book. If you aren’t happily married, then perhaps find professional help. But reading 600+ pages of someone else’s life experiences probably is not the answer. And yes, in case you are wondering, I am happily married (44 years in two weeks).