This is an appraisal of women's psychological development based on clinical evidence. In their work as psychotherapists at the Women's Therapy Centre in London, the authors have isolated many problems that largely affect women: depression, phobias, eating disorders and poor self-image, for example. In this book, they relate these to the role of women in society, the dynamics of the mother-daughter relationship and the familial and social context in which women grow up. Challenging the views of Freud and the theories of biological determination, the authors demonstrate their own findings with examples from the consulting room and the revelations of both individual and group therapy.
I found it riveting and answered a lot of issues I had with my mother and I'm sure my daughter has with me. The uncaring I experienced with my mother I knew came from her background: the pushing away; the telling me I was going to have to look after myself was, I see now part of a long tradition of womens roles.
Orbach feels that until several generations of couples share the childcare. allowing both boys and girls to experience nurturing from both mothers and fathers we as women will not feel sure of ourselves and will not feel valued.
Our society still undervalues women (even though this may be changing with more men taking on the caring roles). It has been a way of keeping us in our roles as the care givers but not receivers. We grow up always giving of ourselves while not getting the care we need for ourselves.
The book touched so many sore points in my psyche.
Some really insightful theories about how mother-daughter relationships may develop over generations. I loved the links to feminism and wider cultural influences.