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How Was It For You
'One of the great social historians of our time. No one else makes history this fun' Amanda Foreman
' How Was It For You? subtly but powerfully subverts complacent male assumptions about a legendary decade' David Kynaston
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"A feeling that we could do whatever we liked swept through us in the 60s . . ."
The a decade of space travel, utopian dreams and - above all - sexual revolution. It liberated a generation. But mostly men.
Meet dollybird Mavis, debutante Kristina, bunny girl Patsy, industrial campaigner Mary and countercultural Caroline. From Carnaby Street to Merseyside, white gloves to Black is Beautiful, their stories illustrate a turbulent power struggle, throwing an unsparing spotlight on morals, drugs, race, bomb culture and sex.
This is a moving, shocking book about tearing up the world and starting again. It's about peace, love and psychedelia, but also misogyny, violation and discrimination, in a decade discovering a new equality.
And women would never be the same again.
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'Sparkling . . . there is a wonderfully diverse range of voices . . . we have a long way to go, but reading this book made me grateful for how far we have come' Daisy Goodwin, The Sunday Times
'An absorbing study of an extraordinary age. Beautifully written and intensively researched' Selina Hastings
512 pages, Paperback
First published March 28, 2019
30 people are currently reading
736 people want to read
About the author
Virginia Nicholson
13 books68 followersVIRGINIA NICHOLSON was born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne in 1955. Her father was the art historian and writer Quentin Bell, acclaimed for his biography of his aunt Virginia Woolf. Her mother Anne Olivier Bell edited the five volumes of Virginia Woolf’s Diaries.
Virginia grew up in the suburbs of Leeds, but the family moved to Sussex when she was in her teens. She was educated at Lewes Priory School (Comprehensive). After a gap year working in Paris she went on to study English Literature at King’s College Cambridge.
In 1978 Virginia spent a year living in Italy (Venice), where she taught English and learnt Italian. Returning to the UK in 1979 she re-visited her northern childhood while working for Yorkshire Television as a researcher for children’s programmes. In 1983 she joined the Documentary department of BBC Television.
In 1988 Virginia married screenwriter and author William Nicholson. Following the birth of their son in 1989, Virginia left the BBC and shortly afterwards the Nicholsons moved to East Sussex. Two daughters were born in 1991 and 1993.
Living in Sussex, Virginia became increasingly involved with the Trust that administered Charleston, home of her grandmother the painter Vanessa Bell, in due course becoming its Deputy Chairman. Her first book (co-authored with her father) CHARLESTON: A Bloomsbury House and Garden was published by Frances Lincoln in 1997. In 1999/2000 she made a ten-city tour of the USA to promote the book and Charleston itself.
In November 2002 Viking published AMONG THE BOHEMIANS - Experiments in Living 1900-1939 to critical acclaim. Its publication by Morrow, USA in February 2004 was followed by a sell-out lecture and publicity tour round five American cities.
SINGLED OUT - How Two Million Women Survived Without Men After the First World War, was published in August 2007. In this latest book Virginia Nicholson has set out to tell the stories of a remarkable generation of women forced by a historic tragedy to reinvent their lives. Singled Out received a spate of enthusiastic reviews which applauded it as a pioneering and humane work of social history. The work on this book was combined with her continuing commitment to the Charleston Trust.
Virginia grew up in the suburbs of Leeds, but the family moved to Sussex when she was in her teens. She was educated at Lewes Priory School (Comprehensive). After a gap year working in Paris she went on to study English Literature at King’s College Cambridge.
In 1978 Virginia spent a year living in Italy (Venice), where she taught English and learnt Italian. Returning to the UK in 1979 she re-visited her northern childhood while working for Yorkshire Television as a researcher for children’s programmes. In 1983 she joined the Documentary department of BBC Television.
In 1988 Virginia married screenwriter and author William Nicholson. Following the birth of their son in 1989, Virginia left the BBC and shortly afterwards the Nicholsons moved to East Sussex. Two daughters were born in 1991 and 1993.
Living in Sussex, Virginia became increasingly involved with the Trust that administered Charleston, home of her grandmother the painter Vanessa Bell, in due course becoming its Deputy Chairman. Her first book (co-authored with her father) CHARLESTON: A Bloomsbury House and Garden was published by Frances Lincoln in 1997. In 1999/2000 she made a ten-city tour of the USA to promote the book and Charleston itself.
In November 2002 Viking published AMONG THE BOHEMIANS - Experiments in Living 1900-1939 to critical acclaim. Its publication by Morrow, USA in February 2004 was followed by a sell-out lecture and publicity tour round five American cities.
SINGLED OUT - How Two Million Women Survived Without Men After the First World War, was published in August 2007. In this latest book Virginia Nicholson has set out to tell the stories of a remarkable generation of women forced by a historic tragedy to reinvent their lives. Singled Out received a spate of enthusiastic reviews which applauded it as a pioneering and humane work of social history. The work on this book was combined with her continuing commitment to the Charleston Trust.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
September 17, 2019
This is a superb piece of social history that offers a insight into the "Swinging Sixties" told through a variety of subjects and sources including many people who experienced the period.
The layout of the book is ostensibly one of a year by chapter, but it is more than that as subjects and people are discussed and seen over a number of chapters.
The backdrop is of course the great changes that the Sixties witnessed and indeed created. We have political and social change as well as technological, medical and economic. The youngsters of the Sixties come from a wartime background or grew up in bombed out Britain; one that was until the late 50s suffering from rationing. These young men and women are wanting change and seeing this through music, consumerism and of course - naturally for teenagers and young people - the behaviours, establishment and expectations of parents and older generations; the ones who created the old ways and the unwanted ways.
But this is not quite how it was. Some people are disconnected from the modern wishes and behaviours. Unwanting of the demonstrations, drugs and "free love" or worried about what their lives may become if they don't be like their mothers or fathers. And it is this complexity and variety that gives the book its richness.
We see music, politics, employment, drugs and protest but also hard lives, unhappy or violent marriages, parental or societal pressure with a real sense of being second class or, well, women. The advances made in the 40s and 50s from medicine, technology as well as legislation and education make the women of the Sixties want change and opportunity. Social mores and class still reign but these are up for challenge.
Alongside this though we other challenges, pressures and observances. Sex is available but the pressure from men is extraordinary both to have sex and to be sexy. What we read of is the women's worries and doubts as well as their - not in all cases - willingness to be independent and have a sex life. Some women in today's law and understanding would be rape cases; others would be harassed, abused and mistreated. The lack of choice and support available to women and the male dominated conventions, such as prescribing birth control only to married women, and sacking pregnant women is discussed. Many of these episodes leave indelible marks and these are experiences that women carry with them through life.
Being a worker sees women treated no better than slaves or with such contempt it beggars belief how stupid and set in their ways men were (some still are). Clearly it is the threat of women: women who are smart, good-looking, educated, skilled and equal to and more often than not better at things than men. It was interesting to read of Trades Unions and union members being so anti-women in just simple things and areas of work such as driving say buses. Even at university women are often treated with disdain, contempt and just playthings by their male contemporaries.
There are stories of drugs and drugs use. Some of this is happy and enlightening other is messy - often when coupled with sex. There are also stories of great personal sacrifice - one a young mother with a thalidomide baby and others whose husbands are in danger and mortal plight fishing at sea. These women challenge and change how society and industry does things. The sheer determination when one reads of their backgrounds, lives and experiences leaves one with nothing but admiration.
As the progress through the decade we see various music and musicians (or faces) impact on these women's lives. Fashion in the form of Jean Shrimpton and Twiggy and music = The Beatles, Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix but we also read of Mary Whitehouse the 40-something campaigner for decency and better values in life and especially on TV. There are so many other things in this book such as CND, magazines and protest writing, numbers of women MPs, industrial disputes that I cannot do them justice here, and towards the end of the decade Women's Liberation and the great names of writing such as Germaine Greer, Jenny Diski and others come to the fore and we enter the 1970s with more change but also despair on the horizon. We also see that much of the impactful legislation for the 1960s was created in the late 1950s and enacted by MPs of say 50 or 60 years of age. More and greater change in the 1970s comes on the back of this and of course the changes that people brought about in the 1960s.
One thing I did take away was the male pressure, influence and sheer chauvinism that impacted and challenged women's lives every day. From home to education; to work and marriage; to childcare and nursery care (clue there wasn't any) to the pub and even wearing trousers (something laughably but terribly seriouslyfrowned upon).
I've read a number of books on women and their lives from biographies of say Elizabeth Cadbury to Harriet Harman and Margaret Thatcher and about the Suffrage movement and the suffragettes as well as the women who served as combat nurses or made munitions in war. This book is a worthy addition to those as it helps define an era and shows how steep a hill women in Britain had to climb...and are still climbing today.
The layout of the book is ostensibly one of a year by chapter, but it is more than that as subjects and people are discussed and seen over a number of chapters.
The backdrop is of course the great changes that the Sixties witnessed and indeed created. We have political and social change as well as technological, medical and economic. The youngsters of the Sixties come from a wartime background or grew up in bombed out Britain; one that was until the late 50s suffering from rationing. These young men and women are wanting change and seeing this through music, consumerism and of course - naturally for teenagers and young people - the behaviours, establishment and expectations of parents and older generations; the ones who created the old ways and the unwanted ways.
But this is not quite how it was. Some people are disconnected from the modern wishes and behaviours. Unwanting of the demonstrations, drugs and "free love" or worried about what their lives may become if they don't be like their mothers or fathers. And it is this complexity and variety that gives the book its richness.
We see music, politics, employment, drugs and protest but also hard lives, unhappy or violent marriages, parental or societal pressure with a real sense of being second class or, well, women. The advances made in the 40s and 50s from medicine, technology as well as legislation and education make the women of the Sixties want change and opportunity. Social mores and class still reign but these are up for challenge.
Alongside this though we other challenges, pressures and observances. Sex is available but the pressure from men is extraordinary both to have sex and to be sexy. What we read of is the women's worries and doubts as well as their - not in all cases - willingness to be independent and have a sex life. Some women in today's law and understanding would be rape cases; others would be harassed, abused and mistreated. The lack of choice and support available to women and the male dominated conventions, such as prescribing birth control only to married women, and sacking pregnant women is discussed. Many of these episodes leave indelible marks and these are experiences that women carry with them through life.
Being a worker sees women treated no better than slaves or with such contempt it beggars belief how stupid and set in their ways men were (some still are). Clearly it is the threat of women: women who are smart, good-looking, educated, skilled and equal to and more often than not better at things than men. It was interesting to read of Trades Unions and union members being so anti-women in just simple things and areas of work such as driving say buses. Even at university women are often treated with disdain, contempt and just playthings by their male contemporaries.
There are stories of drugs and drugs use. Some of this is happy and enlightening other is messy - often when coupled with sex. There are also stories of great personal sacrifice - one a young mother with a thalidomide baby and others whose husbands are in danger and mortal plight fishing at sea. These women challenge and change how society and industry does things. The sheer determination when one reads of their backgrounds, lives and experiences leaves one with nothing but admiration.
As the progress through the decade we see various music and musicians (or faces) impact on these women's lives. Fashion in the form of Jean Shrimpton and Twiggy and music = The Beatles, Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix but we also read of Mary Whitehouse the 40-something campaigner for decency and better values in life and especially on TV. There are so many other things in this book such as CND, magazines and protest writing, numbers of women MPs, industrial disputes that I cannot do them justice here, and towards the end of the decade Women's Liberation and the great names of writing such as Germaine Greer, Jenny Diski and others come to the fore and we enter the 1970s with more change but also despair on the horizon. We also see that much of the impactful legislation for the 1960s was created in the late 1950s and enacted by MPs of say 50 or 60 years of age. More and greater change in the 1970s comes on the back of this and of course the changes that people brought about in the 1960s.
One thing I did take away was the male pressure, influence and sheer chauvinism that impacted and challenged women's lives every day. From home to education; to work and marriage; to childcare and nursery care (clue there wasn't any) to the pub and even wearing trousers (something laughably but terribly seriouslyfrowned upon).
I've read a number of books on women and their lives from biographies of say Elizabeth Cadbury to Harriet Harman and Margaret Thatcher and about the Suffrage movement and the suffragettes as well as the women who served as combat nurses or made munitions in war. This book is a worthy addition to those as it helps define an era and shows how steep a hill women in Britain had to climb...and are still climbing today.
July 28, 2021
How was it for me? Not too bad...the book, that is, although I'm a little unsettled to see an era I lived through classified as "history". I'm a couple of years older than the author but was a virtual non-combatant in the sexual revolution, since I was living in a backwater and it seemed like all the salient events in human history had occurred elsewhere on the planet. I did get the odd glimpse of The Beatles on the television, only because the idiot box received a single station and Granny was stuck with the choice of Ed Sullivan or nothing. But yeah, I remember these scary days, Vietnam, drugs, hippies, free love, Chuck Manson, all that stuff.
Virginia Nicholson remembers those days as well, well enough to have written a pretty good book about the advancement of women during those days of social upheaval. She picked the brains of a cross-section of women who came into their own in the sixties. Nicholson was fair about it, including women who opted for marriage in preference to orgies, with the star of the book, in my opinion, being the mother of the boy born with medical conditions caused by thalidomide. But they're all here, the bunnies, the groupies, the strikers and protesters, all giving the reader an overview of the turbulent sixties and the boomers who came to prominence in these times.
The reader is cautioned that the author is a Brit so you're going to have to puzzle out things like "mock croc winkle pickers" , "sausage sarnie" and "dodgems". There are a lot of nice glossy photos of the women interviewed for the book and the events they were involved in.
My personal takeaway from this book? Women as a group are contradictory critters. Wearing a helicopter skirt is liberating (helicopter because you can see into the cockpit), and pulling the train for a group of doped-up musicians is fine, but the girl making good money in a bunny club is wrong because she is a sexual commodity? And carping about the number of women in Parliament is pointless. They are, after all, elected...it's not like you can have a certain number of seats reserved for women. If the public wants you in Parliament, you'll get there. Toward the end of the book the message seems to be that women can do anything men can do...except beat transgender athletes, 15 year old boy's soccer teams, or win Miss Nevada. And don't forget...we've got a Woman of the Year award in there as well.
Being serious for a moment, I don't have the time to give this great book its due. Boomers lived through some turbulent times, an interesting era. While I don't necessarily agree with every point made in the book it is still a great story, history made interesting. I'll likely read some more of Nicholson's work.
Virginia Nicholson remembers those days as well, well enough to have written a pretty good book about the advancement of women during those days of social upheaval. She picked the brains of a cross-section of women who came into their own in the sixties. Nicholson was fair about it, including women who opted for marriage in preference to orgies, with the star of the book, in my opinion, being the mother of the boy born with medical conditions caused by thalidomide. But they're all here, the bunnies, the groupies, the strikers and protesters, all giving the reader an overview of the turbulent sixties and the boomers who came to prominence in these times.
The reader is cautioned that the author is a Brit so you're going to have to puzzle out things like "mock croc winkle pickers" , "sausage sarnie" and "dodgems". There are a lot of nice glossy photos of the women interviewed for the book and the events they were involved in.
My personal takeaway from this book? Women as a group are contradictory critters. Wearing a helicopter skirt is liberating (helicopter because you can see into the cockpit), and pulling the train for a group of doped-up musicians is fine, but the girl making good money in a bunny club is wrong because she is a sexual commodity? And carping about the number of women in Parliament is pointless. They are, after all, elected...it's not like you can have a certain number of seats reserved for women. If the public wants you in Parliament, you'll get there. Toward the end of the book the message seems to be that women can do anything men can do...except beat transgender athletes, 15 year old boy's soccer teams, or win Miss Nevada. And don't forget...we've got a Woman of the Year award in there as well.
Being serious for a moment, I don't have the time to give this great book its due. Boomers lived through some turbulent times, an interesting era. While I don't necessarily agree with every point made in the book it is still a great story, history made interesting. I'll likely read some more of Nicholson's work.
October 10, 2020
Інтенсивні 1960-ті встигли стати міфом і мрією для багатьох, особливо для тих, хто не встиг себе тоді реалізувати. Авторка цієї книжки народилася трохи пізніше, ніж хотіла б і у 1960-х була ще дитиною, задивляючись мрійливо на старших кузин, що ходили на концерти Бітлз і каталися до Індії.
Це історія 1960-х - рок за роком у Англії, але з фокусом на власне жіночому досвіді. Декада відкрила багато можливостей для жінок - контрацептивні пігулки, можливість працювати і вчитися, можливості купувати різні нові товари і відкривати світ за межами своєї країни. Героїні книжки походять з різних груп все ще класово поділеного англійського суспільства. Своє доросле життя вони починали в дуже молодому віці - в 15-16 років часто кидали школу, знаходили роботу, бо її було багато і вона добре оплачувалася, їхали у Лондон і активно пізнавали світ. Багато з них вийшли заміж чи завагітніли також у дуже юному віці - 18-19 років.
Основне питання книжки - чи став досвід 1960-х емансипативним для жінок? Авторка показує, наскільки глибоко традиційним залишалося суспільство, де неодруженій жінці могли не дозволити винаймати квартиру, де вони працювали на гірших посадах, бо вірилося, що жіноча праця це щось тимчасове. Навіть у середовищах хіпі це були жінки, хто прав чоловічий одяг у гірських потічках на фестивалі і вони несли тягар материнства, якщо завагітніли. Протести проти знедолених у В’єтнамі не помічали дискримінації жінок у себе ж під носом і жіночий рух у 1960-х лише зароджувався. Зрештою, багато хто й не шукав емансипації, а далі жив у внормованому світі очікувань своїх батьків.
Читати цю книжку з України - особливий досвід. По-перше, бачиш наскільки глибокодумні дискусії про місце жінки, що ведуться по ТБ чи фейсбуках є вторинною пережованою жуйкою і в Англії/Америці це все було проговорено півстоліття тому. По-друге, розумієш прірву, що відрізняла Союз від Європи - поїздки до Індії чи концерти Роллінг Стоунз - це не наша історія. А по-третє, це сучасний розтягнутий досвід дитинства, коли ще в своїх ранніх 20-х молоді люди залежні від помешкання чи прибутку батьків.
***
“Here’s a day in Melissa’s life:
A typical evening was, come home from work – go to bed for a couple of hours, and have a snooze. About nine or ten in the evening people would start turning up, and we’d convene in the attic – which we’d converted into this big room with floor cushions. Dress up, change a bit. Then we’d go down to Blaise’s club in Queensgate. Might see Ike and Tina Turner, the Byrds … the first time I saw Jimi Hendrix was in Blaise’s. So then you’d swirl around with all your friends, probably till about two.
Then we would come back to our flat, and we’d go upstairs to the top room, make tea, roll a joint. And then we’d do mad things, I remember we read The Hobbit aloud for a month, with people taking turns. And we’d stay up till about five. And then I’d have to be in the office by ten next day to answer the telephone but nobody ever came in till one o’clock.
We thought drinking was boring, it was what old people did, so we didn’t do much alcohol. We were dope smokers …”
***
“When I asked Melissa what advice she would give a young woman today, starting out on life, her reply was: ‘I would tell anyone like me, try to have as much fun as possible. Because what they don’t tell you is, you’re old so much longer than you’re young. You should do what you enjoy. And if it makes you miserable, well, just don’t do it.”
Це історія 1960-х - рок за роком у Англії, але з фокусом на власне жіночому досвіді. Декада відкрила багато можливостей для жінок - контрацептивні пігулки, можливість працювати і вчитися, можливості купувати різні нові товари і відкривати світ за межами своєї країни. Героїні книжки походять з різних груп все ще класово поділеного англійського суспільства. Своє доросле життя вони починали в дуже молодому віці - в 15-16 років часто кидали школу, знаходили роботу, бо її було багато і вона добре оплачувалася, їхали у Лондон і активно пізнавали світ. Багато з них вийшли заміж чи завагітніли також у дуже юному віці - 18-19 років.
Основне питання книжки - чи став досвід 1960-х емансипативним для жінок? Авторка показує, наскільки глибоко традиційним залишалося суспільство, де неодруженій жінці могли не дозволити винаймати квартиру, де вони працювали на гірших посадах, бо вірилося, що жіноча праця це щось тимчасове. Навіть у середовищах хіпі це були жінки, хто прав чоловічий одяг у гірських потічках на фестивалі і вони несли тягар материнства, якщо завагітніли. Протести проти знедолених у В’єтнамі не помічали дискримінації жінок у себе ж під носом і жіночий рух у 1960-х лише зароджувався. Зрештою, багато хто й не шукав емансипації, а далі жив у внормованому світі очікувань своїх батьків.
Читати цю книжку з України - особливий досвід. По-перше, бачиш наскільки глибокодумні дискусії про місце жінки, що ведуться по ТБ чи фейсбуках є вторинною пережованою жуйкою і в Англії/Америці це все було проговорено півстоліття тому. По-друге, розумієш прірву, що відрізняла Союз від Європи - поїздки до Індії чи концерти Роллінг Стоунз - це не наша історія. А по-третє, це сучасний розтягнутий досвід дитинства, коли ще в своїх ранніх 20-х молоді люди залежні від помешкання чи прибутку батьків.
***
“Here’s a day in Melissa’s life:
A typical evening was, come home from work – go to bed for a couple of hours, and have a snooze. About nine or ten in the evening people would start turning up, and we’d convene in the attic – which we’d converted into this big room with floor cushions. Dress up, change a bit. Then we’d go down to Blaise’s club in Queensgate. Might see Ike and Tina Turner, the Byrds … the first time I saw Jimi Hendrix was in Blaise’s. So then you’d swirl around with all your friends, probably till about two.
Then we would come back to our flat, and we’d go upstairs to the top room, make tea, roll a joint. And then we’d do mad things, I remember we read The Hobbit aloud for a month, with people taking turns. And we’d stay up till about five. And then I’d have to be in the office by ten next day to answer the telephone but nobody ever came in till one o’clock.
We thought drinking was boring, it was what old people did, so we didn’t do much alcohol. We were dope smokers …”
***
“When I asked Melissa what advice she would give a young woman today, starting out on life, her reply was: ‘I would tell anyone like me, try to have as much fun as possible. Because what they don’t tell you is, you’re old so much longer than you’re young. You should do what you enjoy. And if it makes you miserable, well, just don’t do it.”
April 26, 2019
Entertaining, uplifting, funny, relatable, colourful, I could go on. This really creates a vivid portrait of the 60s for women and how things were affecting them and how they affected the world. An inspiring read
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
March 29, 2019
I can’t explain how much I bloody loved this book
May 26, 2019
An absolutely fascinating look at the Sixties through the eyes of women. Virginia Nicholson states in her introduction that many of the seminal social histories of the decade were written by men, and although they deal with issues that affected women, they don't truly represent how women felt about the times they lived through. Nicholson seeks to redress the balance by interviewing many women about their lives. She speaks to women in lots of different social, economic and geographic positions so that the view is more representative rather than London centric. She talks about gender, pay, politics, free love, the pill, fashion and many other issues that women experienced. She looks in depth at the Profumo scandal and how that shaped the changing landscape in terms of people's perception of women, along with many other things. She interviews people as diverse as Floella Benjamin to a woman in Scotland who gave birth to a thalidomide baby who is still alive today. It's a vivid, brilliant book. My copy was given to me to review by Netgalley.
May 20, 2020
didn’t really like the structure, some chapters were more focused than others. but context wise very interesting. the beatles should have been in the book title as they were mentioned on almost every page
June 2, 2020
“In the sixties, a power struggle started which still hasn’t been won.”
The sexual revolution liberated a generation. But men most of all.
We tend to think of the 60s as a decade sprinkled with stardust: a time of space travel and utopian dreams, but above all of sexual abandonment. When the pill was introduced on the NHS in 1961 it seemed, for the first time, that women - like men - could try without buying.
The 60s were about peace, love, psychedelia and strange pleasures, but also about misogyny, violation and discrimination - half a century before feminism rebranded. For out of the swamp of gropers and groupies, a movement was emerging, and discovering a new cause: equality.
"It was paradise for men... all these willing girls..."
How was it for you? is an extremely well researched, and well-written, look at the 60s and what the decade meant for women. Nicholson’s writing is enjoyable – easy to read, witty, funny, and incredibly engaging. At no point did I feel like I was reading a ‘history’ book as How was it for you? is never dull, dry, or boring, thanks not only to Nicholson’s writing style but to the cast of women she featured: these women led such colourful, interesting lives, and they still seem like larger than life characters in the present day.
I appreciated that Nicholson chose to write the book chronologically, presenting the decade by years, rather than thematically, as it perfectly illustrated how fast fashions and ideas changed and progressed. I also enjoyed that Nicholson interviewed, and wrote about, those women who were still very conservative throughout the 60s and didn’t follow the fashions and anti-establishment mindset that the majority of young people seemed to. It’s rare for a book like this to present both sides, and even though Nicholson definitely devoted more pages to those who were progressive, I appreciated even a glimpse at the other side of the story.
Although I did unfortunately feel that Nicholson skimmed over the experiences of women of colour and LGBTQ women, I did feel that she did a decent job at showing that the 60s wasn’t a great decade for everyone – mainly just for white men and white, middle-class women. Overall, I loved How was it for you? and I’m already excited at the thought of reading Nicholson’s other work.
5 / 5
The sexual revolution liberated a generation. But men most of all.
We tend to think of the 60s as a decade sprinkled with stardust: a time of space travel and utopian dreams, but above all of sexual abandonment. When the pill was introduced on the NHS in 1961 it seemed, for the first time, that women - like men - could try without buying.
The 60s were about peace, love, psychedelia and strange pleasures, but also about misogyny, violation and discrimination - half a century before feminism rebranded. For out of the swamp of gropers and groupies, a movement was emerging, and discovering a new cause: equality.
"It was paradise for men... all these willing girls..."
How was it for you? is an extremely well researched, and well-written, look at the 60s and what the decade meant for women. Nicholson’s writing is enjoyable – easy to read, witty, funny, and incredibly engaging. At no point did I feel like I was reading a ‘history’ book as How was it for you? is never dull, dry, or boring, thanks not only to Nicholson’s writing style but to the cast of women she featured: these women led such colourful, interesting lives, and they still seem like larger than life characters in the present day.
I appreciated that Nicholson chose to write the book chronologically, presenting the decade by years, rather than thematically, as it perfectly illustrated how fast fashions and ideas changed and progressed. I also enjoyed that Nicholson interviewed, and wrote about, those women who were still very conservative throughout the 60s and didn’t follow the fashions and anti-establishment mindset that the majority of young people seemed to. It’s rare for a book like this to present both sides, and even though Nicholson definitely devoted more pages to those who were progressive, I appreciated even a glimpse at the other side of the story.
Although I did unfortunately feel that Nicholson skimmed over the experiences of women of colour and LGBTQ women, I did feel that she did a decent job at showing that the 60s wasn’t a great decade for everyone – mainly just for white men and white, middle-class women. Overall, I loved How was it for you? and I’m already excited at the thought of reading Nicholson’s other work.
5 / 5
October 29, 2020
Virginia Nicholson interviewed a variety of women who were young in the 1960s for accounts of their lives and experiences in that turbulent decade. Some were excited by the pop music, mini skirts, experimenting with drugs etc, others found life less fun. Nicholson has her own rather bleak view of relations between the sexes, housewives in her world are invariably downtrodden and oppressed, though speaking personally neither my mother nor any of the mothers of my friends appeared at all downtrodden to me, they were generally popping in and out of each other’s houses drinking coffee and chatting and appeared to have quite an agreeable time, more so I would think than being stuck in an office all day. There are some interesting things, the part about the women campaigning for improved conditions for fishermen on the trawlers was something I didn’t know about. I was also highly entertained by the account of what fun it was to be a Bunny girl (though I think Virginia Nicholson is a bit vexed that they enjoyed it, I think she would have preferred a story of misery and oppression). And she can’t make up her mind about sex,pleased that the Pill freed women from the fear of pregnancy, she is clearly annoyed that it also had benefits for men. She takes a determinedly bleak view of 60s TV, lamenting the helplessness of the female companions in Dr Who for instance, conveniently ignoring the fact that Barbara was a very clever history teacher and Zoe a brilliant scientist. There is rather a lot of repetition, especially on fashion, i don’t think we really need to be told quite so often what Mods looked like, or how short mini skirts were. Also, like many feminists, she has this fixed idea that work was something new for women, as if they haven’t always worked. She mentions the Bible for example without apparently being aware that there were many successful businesswomen in Biblical times, for example the Virtuous Wife in Proverbs who purchases a Vineyard and plants it, and who weaves girdles and sells them in the market place. A Biblical entrepreneur. Anyway, there’s some quite interesting stuff in here if you don’t take it too seriously.
July 28, 2019
I found this extremely frustrating. I was expecting a history of the lives of women in the 60s. Instead there was a relentless focus on the headlines, on the fashion, the music, the hippies and the dope.
Why did we get a page on the death of JFK? Not relevant.
Why did we get 2 pages on the Moors Murders?
Not relevant.
Perhaps the main reason for the focus on headlines is that she takes a chronological approach. Had she dealt with women's issues by topic - employment, intergenerational relationships, property, marriage, sex, etc - it would have been a different book.
The most interesting part was the lives of the women she had interviewed. However their lives made up only a minute portion of the book.
The reader is left with the impression that the author mourned having missed out on the FUN FUN FUN era by a decade. She then continued the usual media glamourisation of that era. Although she frequently acknowledged in asides that not everyone was living a life of hedonistic free love, her main focus was the media obsessions of the day rather than an overview of the lives lived by a variety of women.
Why did we get a page on the death of JFK? Not relevant.
Why did we get 2 pages on the Moors Murders?
Not relevant.
Perhaps the main reason for the focus on headlines is that she takes a chronological approach. Had she dealt with women's issues by topic - employment, intergenerational relationships, property, marriage, sex, etc - it would have been a different book.
The most interesting part was the lives of the women she had interviewed. However their lives made up only a minute portion of the book.
The reader is left with the impression that the author mourned having missed out on the FUN FUN FUN era by a decade. She then continued the usual media glamourisation of that era. Although she frequently acknowledged in asides that not everyone was living a life of hedonistic free love, her main focus was the media obsessions of the day rather than an overview of the lives lived by a variety of women.
June 18, 2019
What a brilliant read! As someone born in the 1960s I was too young to remember any of this but this book brought back vivid memories of my childhood and the ideals and expectations of women that still existed when I was a child. I discussed some of the concepts discussed with my female colleagues and it was really interesting to hear about how the views of my generation have changed over the years, and how our younger colleagues are so much more confident in their expectations of life. Thoroughly recommend this book to anyone interested in the lives of real women during the sixties and the explosion of change that started then, and the impact of that change on women today. Absolutely brilliant read!
October 4, 2021
Was loving it up to the partial chapter on gay women. All through the book the author used interviews as well as book, TV, film and article sources. But this section is written as if she's never met a lesbian and is a bit squimish. It was odd and maybe a touch homophobic, eg: pp.381 writing about a BBC documentary on lesbians from 1967, "The speaker was a long haired brunette who resembled a French intellectual with her well-bred, gently accented voice and fashionable dark glasses; for the televised interviews also provided evidence that 1960s lesbians didn't have to look like, well, lesbians."
Erm, okay Virginia, what were you expecting?
Erm, okay Virginia, what were you expecting?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 25, 2020
one of the most entertaining books about history i've ever read! loved hearing the women's personal accounts and seeing them pop up again to tell different parts of their stories throughout the years, and nicholson really brings out their personalities with details from the interviews. it was lovely to see what they're all up to today at the end! a fascinating account that brings out the positives but more notably the negatives of an important decade in modern history.
July 19, 2022
i first read a few chapters of this for an essay i was writing and i knew i had to read the whole thing - im already a big history nerd, especially when it comes to the 1960s, and this was just amazing to read. the way nicholson writes history is just so compelling and playful and really gets you invested in these womens stories
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March 12, 2020I liked this waaaay more than either of the other two Virginia Nicholson women's history books I've read in the past: sassy! funny! informative!
Unfortunately this book is SO HOT RIGHT NOW that another library user requested my copy. I will finish reading it... another time.
Unfortunately this book is SO HOT RIGHT NOW that another library user requested my copy. I will finish reading it... another time.
April 29, 2019
Well-written, interesting, even compelling in some places. I love reading history like this, painting a broad picture, but by means of individual women's stories.
June 18, 2019
Exceptionally well researched. A very nostalgic read for anyone living in Britain in the 1960s.
January 9, 2020
An interesting book to dip into, especially if you enjoy social history.
January 31, 2020
4.5 really...but felt slightly repetitive at times. Great bibliography.
August 4, 2022
This is modern feminism
January 25, 2023
Finally finished! Very interesting book on how the 60's changed women's lives and their legacy for today.
October 3, 2025
3,5 stars ⭐
December 10, 2021
As a lover of history and of the exploring the 1960s, this book sounded like the dream. To try fit the history of women in an entire decade into one book sounds laborious, and if done a certain way, boring at worst. What makes this book so brilliant is that it is not a listing of facts and dates, but rather a masterpiece in storytelling. In allowing the, oftentimes conflicting, history to be told by women from all walks of life, this became an easy and fascinating read. One of the best history books I have read in a long, long time.
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