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Splinters

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Spanning over a decade, Splinters gathers the very best of Joseph D’Lacey’s short fiction, from the lyrical to the horrific, from the soulful to the speculative. Sometimes bleak, sometimes funny, always uncompromising, Splinters is a treasure chest of wondrous gems to delight all readers of dark fiction. This second edition contains an introduction by Simon Petherick and a brand new foreword by the author. “There's a lyrical silence and stillness at the heart of Joseph D'Lacey's stories that make the horror so much more frightening.” Cliff McNish “I'm only going to say this once, you need to go and get this book.” Gingernuts of Horror “I loved it all…a perfect showcase for a writer who likes to push boundaries.” The Eloquent Page

258 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 3, 2012

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About the author

Joseph D'Lacey

35 books428 followers
Became vegetarian after writing MEAT. Fond of meditation, unfathomable questions and cats.

Repped by Robert Dinsdale.

"Joseph D'Lacey rocks!" Stephen King.

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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
Profile Image for E.K. Lea.
Author 8 books5 followers
February 25, 2017
I recently received a review copy of Splinters by Joseph D’Lacey published by Timeline Books (0957440502 (ISBN13: 9780957440500) if you’re interested).
Splinters is very well named as a collection of twelve short stories with no connecting theme or style.
It was a very strange experience- reading this book. I suspect the fact that I was listening to Tom Waits – Bone Machine only added to the surreality of the evening. Right from the off it has, shall we say adult themes?

The unnerving sense of voyeurism that begins explicitly with the first story, Lenses, in which the characters watch each other watching each other in a series of clever but not pretentious stories within the story that fit together like nesting dolls until you finally see everything for what it is.

The tone has been set now, for the intimate tales of family and fear in Lights Out and Alter Girl. As I read on I felt the disturbing sense that I was spying on all of these characters, these couples with their children and their monsters.

The bizarre nature of the tales grows through the skin and body shedding to keeping a decaying girlfriend in the fridge. Yet I read on I must have been utterly absorbed as I devoured Splinters in a single evening.

https://readingroomcafeproject.com/
102 reviews1 follower
June 18, 2020
I'm just gobsmacked. It's incredible.

I had a whole long review ready for this. But I'm not going to use it. I'm just going to say that this is one of the finest collections of short stories I have ever read, ever. And understand, I adore the short story genre. Few writers understand and even fewer practice the short story anymore. Stephen King, Clive Barker, and a handful of others though, they keep it alive. Joseph D'Lacey has published a master work of short fiction here. I will never not have this book in my library, it's that good. My only complaint is that, due to my own ignorance of its existence, I've waited so long to read this. Joseph D'Lacey is now in my head, nestled deep in my grey matter, like the title suggests. But these Splinters, I am content to keep.
Profile Image for Nathan Robinson.
Author 54 books71 followers
December 29, 2012
Splinters by Joseph D’Lacey
Splinters is Joseph D’Lacey’s collection of short stories, available for a limited run of 500 copies. Why only 500 I’ll never know. I can’t say they’ll struggle to shift them all. . .
Every story in this chilled me in some way, which is the sign of a very good boo. Each story served up is a different little amuse bouche, ranging from body horror to the imminent apocalypse. Whilst some are dreamlike in quality lulling the reader in with the prose, others are startling and horrific without resorting to graphic descriptions of blood and gut. This is something I admire of D’Lacey, or maybe I’m just not shocked anymore.
Here’s the run down without spoiling too much of what to expect:
Lenses: We’re all nosey, despite our own guarded secrets we long to pry into others lives to compare and contrast our foibles. With more CCTV eying up our movements and our bosses checking on our inner lives on Facebook the gaze of Big Brother is wider than ever. Lenses looks down the depths of the well at how deep humanity’s paranoid natures really go and the implications thereof. Who is watching who, and who is watching them.
Lights Out: At some point we’ve all wondered what lurks under the bed or perhaps in wardrobe. D’Lacey explores this world as a father fears for his son and himself as whatever lurks in the dark starts to become very real indeed.
Altar Girl: Be careful for what you wish for as a mother daydreams of a better life away from her unappreciative family and domestic drudgery, but finds that her problems will still follow her to paradise and back. Your destiny waits wherever you run. This was my first standout story which truly chilled me. The image of a moody faced, naked Kirk Douglas will haunt me forever. . .
The Quiet Ones: A 2nd person account of a determined assassin traipsing through snowy mountains in search for a peaceful group of people. A thoughtful though cold discourse on society’s fear of those that are different and how we hunger to bestow our own beliefs on others, despite its cost of life.
The Unwrapping of Alistair Perry: A slightly Kafkaesque take on our desire to be somebody else, in which the lonely Alistair Perry one day transforms into something far more appealing but not without its consequences. Again I adored this story even though its structure was similar to Altar Girl with its Drudgery, Transformation, Enlightenment, Horror then finally Acceptance. The final twist works horrifically well, giving the tale a further dimension, leaving the reader hungry for more of Alistair’s world and what becomes of it.
The Mango Tree: More of a character piece on our childhood fear of the strange man down the street. I felt a slight haunt of Hemmingway here as D’Lacey conjures up a tropical isle and portrays man and nature co-existing, and fighting one another and themselves at the same time. A wonderful parable summing up the circle of life, while we all take from the world, at some point we have to give it all back.
Armageddon Fish Pie: Another stand out story for me in which a man prepares himself for the apocalypse as society crumbles around him. This was an intensely thoughtful piece which made me question what I’d want to do if the world went to shit and not one of us could escape it. Most horror fans fantasise about surviving the apocalypse and living in a sparsely populated land free to roam and discover all of our neighbour’s secrets. But what if you couldn’t escape the end and what if you knew it was coming? What would you do with your final hours? Would you end it early or end on a bender? I’d spend it with my kids building Lego towers and drinking rum, I don’t know about you.
Kundalini- Another strange transformation piece in which a man turns into a snake after a tad too much heroin, as you do. Not my favourite of the collection, but still it’s short and well written and does nothing to detract from the other stories.
Rhiannon’s Reach: A slow burning tale of the sea which builds up to a dreamlike ending. Even though we fear something, we continue to punish and test ourselves with its presence. Once we’ve tasted death, we have felt a rarely triumphed high and so, thrill-seekers and adrenalin junkies alike gamble their lives on feeling that surge of emotion once again. Perhaps even wishing that the way that we have avoided slipping from the mortal coil is the way we are destined to leave this world. And so we test it until breaking point. Rhiannon’s reach toys with the reader, leading out protagonist into danger and teasing us with his fate.
Son of Porn: A comical though lurid account of a smut kingpin and his exploration of human biology as we evolve into a new reproductive age. One of the lighter pieces of the collection helps balance out the dark/light ratio quite evenly.
What They Want (What Aliens Really, Really Want): Another lighter piece, this time a quartet of snappy light shorts pondering what aliens would really want with humanity and our planet, in which they invade us in different ways.
The Food of Love: A enduring, romantic take on the zombie apocalypse in which death doesn’t mean the end of devotion for one loving couple. The Food of Love was easily one of my favourite pieces in this collection. The chilling government interference got me on this one, showing that D’Lacey really planned this tale of feeder and feedee’ to its eventual bitter end.

Again, I’ll mention that only 500 copies of Splinters will be published, one of which will feature a special little treat in the form of a tarot card that gives one bloody lucky reader a coffin full of Joseph D’Lacey goodies. If you’ve read this right you’ll go and order yourself a copy right now, if not you’d best get wishing that a second print run is announced. I wouldn’t want to leave you disappointed now would I? And remember Splinters is only a book, they’re worse things you could find under your skin. Like yourself.
5/5
Profile Image for Becky.
700 reviews1 follower
July 4, 2017
I love short story collections, which is a good place to start from. Each individual story very much has its own style that really draws you in. There were a few stories in this that will really stick with me:

Lenses is a great start, sinking deeper and deeper into itself and is a great way to think about how one might answer the question about 'who watches the watchers' in our surveillance society.

The Mango Tree A really beautiful story with a very sad ending. Poetic and engrossing with a very simple story that absolutely draws you in.

Son of Porn The only story I didn't really enjoy, a bit too OTT for me.

Food of Love Really, really freaked me out. You definitely can love someone too much!
Profile Image for Paul.
723 reviews74 followers
November 24, 2012
Indulge yourself and let Joseph D’Lacey take you on a journey to the deepest recesses of his mind. From the author of Meat and Garbage Man comes a new collection of incredible short stories that showcase one of the finest writers of dark fiction. From the terrifying ‘Food Of Love’ to the haunting and lyrical ‘Mango Tree’, Timeline Books is publishing a Strictly Limited Edition of 500 numbered and signed copies.

Splinters is a brand new collection of short fiction from the l’enfant terrible of dark British fiction, Joseph D’Lacey. It features twelve stories ranging from the deliciously sinister to the outrageously fantastical. They examine the concepts of obsession, transformation and change.

Lenses – In the 21st century it seems that a week can’t go by where you don’t hear the phrase ‘We live in a surveillance society’. This first story explores this concept by following a group of people living in a large apartment complex. Everyone who lives there is watching everyone else. From straight voyeurism, to religious fundamentalism and even murder, each individual finds some way to justify and excuse his or her preoccupation with watching others.

Lights Out – Some people suffer from the condition known as ‘night terrors’. Your brain plays tricks on you during that split second between consciousness and being asleep. The primal fear of the dark/the unknown messes with your head. Now, just imagine that everything that has terrified you into a state of near paralysis may in fact be real. Being a sufferer myself, there is a big part of me that can relate to this story. Common sense goes out the window and you’re in thrall to your fears. Arrgghh! Creeps me out just thinking about it.

Altar Girl – Is the grass really greener on the other side? Sophie has spent long years going through the motions in her dull, unfulfilling life. Suddenly she is given the chance to live the life she has always dreamed of. Things can only be better can’t they? This story features some of the darkest moments in the collection.

The Quiet Ones – A government sanctioned killer spies on a remote village where a society of content, well adjusted, happy people live. What is their secret and why are they known as The Quiet Ones?

The Unwrapping of Alastair Perry – A more overt take on the transformation theme. In this Kafkaesque tale, a man changes gender and then begins to evolve again into something else entirely.

The Mango Tree – An old man lives a quiet, unassuming life in a shack under the shade of a very special mango tree. Subtle and deceptively engrossing, this is one of the real standouts of the collection for me. A simple story but executed flawlessly.

Armageddon Fish Pie – While the world around him collectively goes through the seven stages of grief one man spend his time preparing for the end, having already quietly accepted his fate. It seems entirely appropriate that if the Apocalypse was due you would indulge yourself with your favourite meal doesn’t it? I know I would.

Kundalini – On the streets of New Delhi, an addict learns the truth behind some colourful rumors. Once again, the theme of change is explored using body horror.

Rhiannon’s Reach – A Story that explores the dark mystery of the sea and how it calls to some people. One man’s journey to uncover the root of his obsession and understand how his fear has come to control every aspect of his life.

Son of Porn – There genuinely may be no words that can adequately describe this story. You just need to read it. I think I’d like to watch people reading it just to see the reactions on their faces. D’Lacey goes all out with the down too earth tale of a futuristic male porn baron who gets pregnant. Comically surreal, saucy, and more than a little bit bizarre. Actually that may describe D’Lacey himself?

What They Want (What Aliens Really, Really Want) – Split into four vignettes, this collection of moments describes how different aliens view life on earth. I may never look at a blender or The Great Outdoors in quite the same way ever again. Though these little glimpses sometimes suggest longer stories, I like the way that they are also entirely self-contained.

Food of Love - To round things off the final tale is a simple love story with a horrific twist. A doctor and a nurse meet and fall in love. Unfortunately, an unexpected epidemic threatens to drive them apart.

Sometimes strange and occasionally shocking, think Tales of the Unexpected on crack and you’re about half way there. Splinters veers from the darkly sublime to the wickedly ridiculous and back again. I have to admit that I loved it all. This short story collection is a perfect showcase for a writer who likes to push boundaries and create fiction that is uniquely his own. If you’re not reading Joseph D’Lacey already, based on the evidence displayed in Splinters alone, you really should be.
138 reviews16 followers
May 14, 2013
A collection of short stories, some of them not published before now, 500 copies printed and all hand numbered and signed by the author. This little black book has a lot to live up to before even opening the cover. Luckily, the author is one Joseph D'Lacey, and if there is one thing D'Lacey seems to do well it is pen a really some really sharp horror, whether along the lines of creepy, something in the shadows style, through to a little bit out there through to just flat out gruesome. Every separate piece included is very different from any other. Surprisingly, with such a broad variety included it is pretty much impossible to pick any particular stand outs, some, like 'the mango tree' are short, simple and straight to the point while others, like the opener, 'lenses' jump back and forwards between a list of characters all bunched into the seedy little block they occupy. Anyway, from beginning to end, it is a short collection of short stories and very quick to get through, but if you are lucky enough to see one of the other 499 out there, do yourself a favour...
Profile Image for Tex.
532 reviews3 followers
September 11, 2020
“Splinters” is a collection of short stories by horror, sci-fi, fantasy writer Joseph D’Lacey.

Like many short story collections there are a few diamonds, a few lumps of coal, and a few that sit somewhere on the scale in between. The twelve collected stories of “Splinters” range from an endearing love story within a zombie apocalypse; to a Hitchcockian noir who watches the watcher tale.

Each of the stories have recurring themes of metamorphosis, warning, observation, nature, fear and desire.

Stand out stories for me were the opening stanza of Lenses, Altar Girl, What They Want (What Aliens Really, Really Want), and the closing story The Food Of Love.

“Splinters” is a mixed bag of horror, science/speculative fiction, which showcases the versatility of the author. Not every story will resonate but there is enough there to make this a worthwhile investment of your time.

“Splinters” gets 3.5 close shaves with a cut-throat razor out of 5
Profile Image for Oli Jacobs.
Author 33 books20 followers
April 13, 2023
I should say first that the stories that are good, are really good. The Quiet Ones use of second person narrative works well, and the beauty of tales like The Mango Tree and Rhiannon’s Reach leave a glowing impression on the reader.

However, when the tales are nasty they are very nasty, which made it difficult for me to really enjoy. There is a hint of Clive Barker in the use of eroticism and body horror, but at times too much of the ugliness is exposed and a story is cheapened because of it.

But that is merely the thought of this reader, and should not put off anyone looking to taste D’Lacey’s short tales. He deftly brings about Armageddon in a variety of ways, and knows how to bring a chill when required.
Profile Image for Frances.
511 reviews31 followers
July 9, 2017
Beautifully written, well-paced, and weird, but I found myself a bit detached from them; that genre of horror where strange things happen and people tend to be either psychoanalytical or unpleasant. Worth reading, but not my preferred thing.
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