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VAMPIRE JOE
Do you even know what a pain in the neck being a vampire is!? All Joe ever wanted was to shoot up some smack, listen to some Nick Cave, and be left the hell alone. One little bite ruined his plans. Minding his own business, looking to score, Joe inadvertently receives the gift of eternal unlife. Now he has to deal with his dealer, his girlfriend, groupies, the Mafia, the police, his Christian minister, his vamp daddy and an unquenchable thirst for human blood. How the hell does life get harder AFTER you die!?
439 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 1, 2019
About the author
Jimmie Christo
2 books90 followersBorn in Carlton in 1979, Jimmie Christo is an author of the lowest calibre.
A criminal since birth (he stole his mother's heart), he grew in the care of the state until he was 18, whereby said state awarded him the Keys to the Universe (citation needed) after imparting no life skills.
He has literally been using the word literally literally, literally all his life (figuratively speaking) and is a pain in the arse most of the time.
He spent four years in jail for crimes he didn't really commit to, namely trafficking (We believe the plan was to consume the whole volume in it's entirety himself, although it was too large an amount for anyone not completely ravaged by addiction to comprehend as such), posession, weapons, burglary and being a not very nice person.
While incarcerated at Her Majesty's Pleasure, determined to get more out of them than they took from him, he wrote a whole bunch of books and movies. Also, he may have changed his outlook on his existence. That said, he is not returning the Keys.
Vampire Joe is his first published work, read by eleven people to critical acclaim. Everyone else who read it said it was vile rubbish.
He has also written YA sci fi and children's novels, understandably under a much nicer alter ego, keeping grown up stuff like Joe separate.
A criminal since birth (he stole his mother's heart), he grew in the care of the state until he was 18, whereby said state awarded him the Keys to the Universe (citation needed) after imparting no life skills.
He has literally been using the word literally literally, literally all his life (figuratively speaking) and is a pain in the arse most of the time.
He spent four years in jail for crimes he didn't really commit to, namely trafficking (We believe the plan was to consume the whole volume in it's entirety himself, although it was too large an amount for anyone not completely ravaged by addiction to comprehend as such), posession, weapons, burglary and being a not very nice person.
While incarcerated at Her Majesty's Pleasure, determined to get more out of them than they took from him, he wrote a whole bunch of books and movies. Also, he may have changed his outlook on his existence. That said, he is not returning the Keys.
Vampire Joe is his first published work, read by eleven people to critical acclaim. Everyone else who read it said it was vile rubbish.
He has also written YA sci fi and children's novels, understandably under a much nicer alter ego, keeping grown up stuff like Joe separate.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
May 5, 2020
I'm a big fan of Palahniuk (especially Fight Club) and there is something about Christo's writing that captivated me in the same way. Having said that, if you thought Palahniuk was confronting you may find Vampire Joe even more challenging!
Consistently hilarious and insightful while being extremely dark, I read this book in (nearly) one seating. My guess is that this book that would polarize its readers -- some would absolutely love it, some would absolutely hate it -- but I doubt anyone would be able to put it down before they finish it cover to cover.
Looking forward to reading more from Christo.
Consistently hilarious and insightful while being extremely dark, I read this book in (nearly) one seating. My guess is that this book that would polarize its readers -- some would absolutely love it, some would absolutely hate it -- but I doubt anyone would be able to put it down before they finish it cover to cover.
Looking forward to reading more from Christo.
May 28, 2020
This book blew my mind! It’s hilarious, it’s revolting, it’s unlike anything you’ve read before. Couldn’t even begin to describe it - just do yourself a favour and read it.
January 28, 2021
This was an interesting, readable book about an unpleasant person who causes a lot of trouble just by not thinking. There were some interesting characters whose point of view I would like to have explored. The end was rushed, I felt. About 3 pages from the end, a major player who was introduced only at the end did a complete reversal of belief and a lot of loose ends were ignored. It was fun to get there, but I felt cheated by the deus ex machina lack of resolution. Maybe this was addressed in the next book but I am not motivated to read it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 17, 2021
What a unique, surprising find!
This book is not your average vampire story.
With Jimmie Christos storytelling ability, I was left constantly intrigued, amused and then shocked. And that ending! Woah...
This is an intense book while still being so much fun, and it’s not like any other I’ve read, which is so refreshing.
One of the ones that will stay in your thoughts long after you finish reading it.
I’m just waiting for the sequel now.
This book is not your average vampire story.
With Jimmie Christos storytelling ability, I was left constantly intrigued, amused and then shocked. And that ending! Woah...
This is an intense book while still being so much fun, and it’s not like any other I’ve read, which is so refreshing.
One of the ones that will stay in your thoughts long after you finish reading it.
I’m just waiting for the sequel now.
July 10, 2020
Funniest book I ever wrote!
People have likened me to some of my faves, and I'm flattered, thank you guys, but I hope that this book's style and attitude manage to stand alone one day.
I sincerely hope you all get as much fun out of reading this as I did writing it. It was truly a joy to produce.
People have likened me to some of my faves, and I'm flattered, thank you guys, but I hope that this book's style and attitude manage to stand alone one day.
I sincerely hope you all get as much fun out of reading this as I did writing it. It was truly a joy to produce.
January 25, 2021
I couldn't put it down! Read it in one day. The story line hooked me right in. I was truly laughing out loud, but I couldn't tell my kids what was so funny because it was so sexy (raunchy)! I made my husband read it and he loved it too. I want to hear more about Joe!
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews