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I Am Here Now
Set in the 1960s, Barbara Bottner's I Am Here Now is a beautiful novel in verse about one artist’s coming of age. It’s a heartbreaking, powerful and inspiring depiction of what it's like to shatter your life―and piece it all back together.
You can’t trust Life to give you decent parents, or beautiful eyes, a fine French accent or an outstanding flair for fashion. No, Life does what it wants. It’s sneaky as a thief.
Maisie's first day of High school should be exciting, but all she wants is to escape.
Her world is lonely and chaotic, with an abusive mother and a father who’s rarely there to help.
So when Maisie, who finds refuge in her art, meets the spirited Rachel and her mother, a painter, she catches a glimpse of a very different world―one full of life, creativity, and love―and latches on.
But as she discovers her strengths through Rachel’s family, Maisie, increasingly desperate, finds herself risking new friendships, and the very future she's searching for.
You can’t trust Life to give you decent parents, or beautiful eyes, a fine French accent or an outstanding flair for fashion. No, Life does what it wants. It’s sneaky as a thief.
Maisie's first day of High school should be exciting, but all she wants is to escape.
Her world is lonely and chaotic, with an abusive mother and a father who’s rarely there to help.
So when Maisie, who finds refuge in her art, meets the spirited Rachel and her mother, a painter, she catches a glimpse of a very different world―one full of life, creativity, and love―and latches on.
But as she discovers her strengths through Rachel’s family, Maisie, increasingly desperate, finds herself risking new friendships, and the very future she's searching for.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published August 4, 2020
20 people are currently reading
2358 people want to read
About the author
Barbara Bottner
59 books53 followersBarbara Bottner, New York Times best-selling author, is a screenwriter, TV writer, and writing coach, who began her multi-hyphenate career as an artist and actor. Designing off-Broadway sets in the ’60s led her to performance and following her career in theatre, she began writing and illustrating books for children. In total, she has written over 40 books in all areas of children’s literature including Young Adult, Middle Grade, chapter, and "I Can Reads". Several of her award-winning picture books have been animated and translated into multiple languages.
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April 18, 2021
July 20, 2020
OK, so the first thing you should know is that this is a hard book to read.
Maisie is a teenage girl in the 1960s and her life is just as turbulent as the country as a whole. Her mom is awful and when I say that, I mean that she is almost constantly emotionally abusive to Maisie; sometimes, she will also hit her. Maisie is definitely closer to her dad, but he's not really reliable, so she doesn't really have anyone. (Her grandmother is great, but she's also not around all the time.)
She's needy, as you'd expect, so her friendships aren't particularly stable or satisfying to her. And she's also a teenage girl so she's all over the place emotionally. I spent most of the book wanting to sit down with her and be like, "Maisie. YOU HAVE TO STOP" and then give her a huge hug. This poor, sweet girl and her awful decisions. I also love that her art is really what saves her. She finds this thing that she loves to do and that she's really good at, and she uses it to create an escape for herself.
The thing that I love most about this, though, is how one thing can save you. For Maisie, it's art. It's a way that she feels special and it's something she bonds with her best friend's mom over (it feels different if an adult you're not related to finds you interesting and talented, right?) It's so cool seeing her realize that she's good at something and it's something that her mom can't destroy.
This is also a novel in verse. I mention it because not everyone enjoys that, but I do. I love the way that it's used to tell this story.
This is a book that hurts to read, but it's absolutely worth it. It's such an amazing, empowering book and I’m so grateful I got to read it. Highly recommended.
Maisie is a teenage girl in the 1960s and her life is just as turbulent as the country as a whole. Her mom is awful and when I say that, I mean that she is almost constantly emotionally abusive to Maisie; sometimes, she will also hit her. Maisie is definitely closer to her dad, but he's not really reliable, so she doesn't really have anyone. (Her grandmother is great, but she's also not around all the time.)
She's needy, as you'd expect, so her friendships aren't particularly stable or satisfying to her. And she's also a teenage girl so she's all over the place emotionally. I spent most of the book wanting to sit down with her and be like, "Maisie. YOU HAVE TO STOP" and then give her a huge hug. This poor, sweet girl and her awful decisions. I also love that her art is really what saves her. She finds this thing that she loves to do and that she's really good at, and she uses it to create an escape for herself.
The thing that I love most about this, though, is how one thing can save you. For Maisie, it's art. It's a way that she feels special and it's something she bonds with her best friend's mom over (it feels different if an adult you're not related to finds you interesting and talented, right?) It's so cool seeing her realize that she's good at something and it's something that her mom can't destroy.
This is also a novel in verse. I mention it because not everyone enjoys that, but I do. I love the way that it's used to tell this story.
This is a book that hurts to read, but it's absolutely worth it. It's such an amazing, empowering book and I’m so grateful I got to read it. Highly recommended.
May 21, 2020
You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight
1.5*
This book was supposed to come out in May, but is now scheduled to publish in August. Since I wasn’t a fan and this is not exactly a glowing recommendation, I figured it didn’t much matter if I posted early. I considered not bothering, but then kind of felt like if I slogged through, I might as well.
This is a very character-driven story, and I didn’t like the main character from the start. I had hoped she’d grow a lot during the course of the book, hence the character-drivenness. Unfortunately, that didn’t really happen. She became a bit more self aware, but only after making people loathe her so much they screamed her faults at her. And here’s the thing: Her life is fairly awful. Her parents are complete trash (her mom is absolutely abusive) and she’s wildly unpopular, and so you do feel sorry for her. But then at some point, we’re all responsible for our own actions, right? Being from a bad home doesn’t really give you license to treat others terribly.
The story is set in the 1960s, but aside from some historical mentions, feels like it could be anywhen. Perhaps that’s the point, but I would have enjoyed more of a 60s feel personally. The main plot is Maisie meeting Rachel at school, and becoming enamored with both Rachel and her artist mom and finding that she herself is quite interested in art. Only… they’re all awful. Like yes Maisie is a mess, and she treats Rachel quite poorly, but let me assure you, Rachel isn’t exactly Miss Congeniality either. And Rachel’s mom acts more like a child than the children in the story, so she’s a mess. So to recap, every single person Maisie has contact with is awful, Maisie included. I do like Maisie’s brother, though that kid doesn’t stand a chance being cooped up with these messes. Ditto Maisie’s friend Richie. He was actually sympathetic and liked Maisie for whatever reasons I cannot fathom. But his father was also abusive, and again, he seemed to be trapped in a terrible situation.
The art plot also takes a huge backseat to the messiness of Rachel and her mom. Where you see that there is a glimmer of hope that Maisie may find a mentor, a passion… well, let’s just say she finds more tragically awful people. Also, full disclaimer, I don’t really care too much about art so that is probably more on me, not the book. A lot of other messy character stuff happens but it would be spoilery to tell you, and I think you all get the gist.
Bottom Line: I know people can be messy, but not everyone is awful, right? But this book says they are, and left me with a very unhealthy feeling of pessimism about the decency of humanity in general. Oh and also nothing really happened.
1.5*
This book was supposed to come out in May, but is now scheduled to publish in August. Since I wasn’t a fan and this is not exactly a glowing recommendation, I figured it didn’t much matter if I posted early. I considered not bothering, but then kind of felt like if I slogged through, I might as well.
This is a very character-driven story, and I didn’t like the main character from the start. I had hoped she’d grow a lot during the course of the book, hence the character-drivenness. Unfortunately, that didn’t really happen. She became a bit more self aware, but only after making people loathe her so much they screamed her faults at her. And here’s the thing: Her life is fairly awful. Her parents are complete trash (her mom is absolutely abusive) and she’s wildly unpopular, and so you do feel sorry for her. But then at some point, we’re all responsible for our own actions, right? Being from a bad home doesn’t really give you license to treat others terribly.
The story is set in the 1960s, but aside from some historical mentions, feels like it could be anywhen. Perhaps that’s the point, but I would have enjoyed more of a 60s feel personally. The main plot is Maisie meeting Rachel at school, and becoming enamored with both Rachel and her artist mom and finding that she herself is quite interested in art. Only… they’re all awful. Like yes Maisie is a mess, and she treats Rachel quite poorly, but let me assure you, Rachel isn’t exactly Miss Congeniality either. And Rachel’s mom acts more like a child than the children in the story, so she’s a mess. So to recap, every single person Maisie has contact with is awful, Maisie included. I do like Maisie’s brother, though that kid doesn’t stand a chance being cooped up with these messes. Ditto Maisie’s friend Richie. He was actually sympathetic and liked Maisie for whatever reasons I cannot fathom. But his father was also abusive, and again, he seemed to be trapped in a terrible situation.
The art plot also takes a huge backseat to the messiness of Rachel and her mom. Where you see that there is a glimmer of hope that Maisie may find a mentor, a passion… well, let’s just say she finds more tragically awful people. Also, full disclaimer, I don’t really care too much about art so that is probably more on me, not the book. A lot of other messy character stuff happens but it would be spoilery to tell you, and I think you all get the gist.
Bottom Line: I know people can be messy, but not everyone is awful, right? But this book says they are, and left me with a very unhealthy feeling of pessimism about the decency of humanity in general. Oh and also nothing really happened.
February 24, 2021
I Am Here Now: ★★★★★
There's something about books written in verse that just hits a soft spot on me. It only works for some books and man, was this one of them.
First of all, I read this book thinking, I really need to recover from the last book I read.
And now I need to recover from this one, so.
Definitely a hard book to read, but also so beautiful, and I loved it.
There's something about books written in verse that just hits a soft spot on me. It only works for some books and man, was this one of them.
First of all, I read this book thinking, I really need to recover from the last book I read.
And now I need to recover from this one, so.
Definitely a hard book to read, but also so beautiful, and I loved it.
August 21, 2020
Maisie is a Jewish girl growing up in the Bronx in the 1960’s with an abusive mother. What she wants is a boyfriend. But what she needs is a road out of her life. As Maisie discovers her own attractiveness to boys, she makes the wrong decision at every turn. But as she discovers her love for drawing and painting, for once in her life something goes right. The reader will delight in discovering art alongside Maisie, feeling a personal connection to the paintings Maisie falls in love with at the museum and the poetry her best friend quotes. Ultimately, Maisie's success in art gives her a roadmap that leads to a world where she has the potential to be more than the unwanted daughter or the sister fighting for a scrap of love.
Brave and beautiful writing that shows rare respect for and belief in the sophistication of teen readers.
Brave and beautiful writing that shows rare respect for and belief in the sophistication of teen readers.
May 7, 2020
*ARC Kindly provided by Macmillan/Imprint in exchange for an honest review*
I Am Here Now is the first free verse book I’ve read after such a long time (it’s been years!). I forgot how it feels so easy and quick to finish a book in this format.
Set in the 60’s, this book tells us the story of Maisie. An upcoming high school student who’s starting to discover her passion for arts while also threading the hardships of adulthood and familial conflicts. She should be excited to start high school – it was a new start. A new stage of her life – but she’s far from excited. Her father is leaving them, her mother is succumbing to that lost and her younger brother is not entirely opening to her. Really nothing to be excited about those things. But when she met the vibrant and lively Rachel, she was welcomed in a new world full of art and possibilities.
Maisie is your typical teenager with an insightful mind yet sarcastic and angry voice. The story has given me enough idea as to how she’s come this way. There’s no stability in her family. She doesn’t have a great support system. She’s lonely. I feel bad for her for the first half of the book but I also felt disappointed with her ways and actions on the latter part. But I wouldn’t hold that to her because for me, she’s a young adult and is just slowly learning the ropes of life. I enjoy reading about Maisie’s passion for art. There are also a lot of references to artists and museums and NYC and made me wonder how the place looks like in the 60’s.
The premise of the story was interesting. The emotions are there but I just really didn’t connect with the characters and the story itself. I feel like I’m just an outsider lurking. The story was moderately phased and if not for the verse format I think it would’ve taken me awhile to finish. I was also glad that the story had a somewhat happy ending. I wouldn’t wish for anything else for Maise and her brother.
I Am Here Now is the first free verse book I’ve read after such a long time (it’s been years!). I forgot how it feels so easy and quick to finish a book in this format.
Set in the 60’s, this book tells us the story of Maisie. An upcoming high school student who’s starting to discover her passion for arts while also threading the hardships of adulthood and familial conflicts. She should be excited to start high school – it was a new start. A new stage of her life – but she’s far from excited. Her father is leaving them, her mother is succumbing to that lost and her younger brother is not entirely opening to her. Really nothing to be excited about those things. But when she met the vibrant and lively Rachel, she was welcomed in a new world full of art and possibilities.
Maisie is your typical teenager with an insightful mind yet sarcastic and angry voice. The story has given me enough idea as to how she’s come this way. There’s no stability in her family. She doesn’t have a great support system. She’s lonely. I feel bad for her for the first half of the book but I also felt disappointed with her ways and actions on the latter part. But I wouldn’t hold that to her because for me, she’s a young adult and is just slowly learning the ropes of life. I enjoy reading about Maisie’s passion for art. There are also a lot of references to artists and museums and NYC and made me wonder how the place looks like in the 60’s.
The premise of the story was interesting. The emotions are there but I just really didn’t connect with the characters and the story itself. I feel like I’m just an outsider lurking. The story was moderately phased and if not for the verse format I think it would’ve taken me awhile to finish. I was also glad that the story had a somewhat happy ending. I wouldn’t wish for anything else for Maise and her brother.
July 30, 2020
“We never know who or what will rescue us, or how we will rescue ourselves.”
A novel about Maisie a young girl coming of age in the Bronx during the 1960s. Maisie lives with her brother, absentee father, and abusive mother. Their house is like a stick of dynamite that is always waiting to explode.
Richie her friend who lives next-door also has an abusive parents, and father who suffers from PTSD.
While at school she meets a girl name Rachel who becomes not only her best friend but also a surrogate sister as Maisie becomes close to Rachel’s mother Kiki. An artist who helps Maisie express all of her pain and release it through art.
This novel in verse was really tough for me to read because of the amount of physical and verbal abuse that Maisie went through from her mom. On a positive note – there is some light at the end of the dark tunnel that she journeys through.
A novel about Maisie a young girl coming of age in the Bronx during the 1960s. Maisie lives with her brother, absentee father, and abusive mother. Their house is like a stick of dynamite that is always waiting to explode.
Richie her friend who lives next-door also has an abusive parents, and father who suffers from PTSD.
While at school she meets a girl name Rachel who becomes not only her best friend but also a surrogate sister as Maisie becomes close to Rachel’s mother Kiki. An artist who helps Maisie express all of her pain and release it through art.
This novel in verse was really tough for me to read because of the amount of physical and verbal abuse that Maisie went through from her mom. On a positive note – there is some light at the end of the dark tunnel that she journeys through.
September 26, 2022
I give it a solid 4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
First of all, one word comes to mind. Complicated. This book is complicated. But don’t mistake that for being synonymous with being bad. This book is anything but bad. It is simply complicated.
The prose style in this book? I’ve never seen anything like it. I made 142 highlights because I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to save all of the moments that made my heart thump. To see a style so out of the ordinary yet so amazing was definitely inspiring.
Onto the story
It was definitely emotionally a hard pill to swallow. I read a review before reading it where someone said “I kept saying ‘don’t do it Maisie’” and I ended up feeling the same way as I read it. You’ve got this girl who is living in hell, but also making bad decisions. That’s a bit of a complex thing to wrap your mind around. You want so badly to feel for her, and you do, but you simultaneously have to understand that she isn’t making great choices either. It’s a really good exercise for understanding human complexity because despite the fact that we as humans often do the same, we still have a hard time understanding it.
Another thing I found to be complicated was that everything Maisie needed came right when she least deserved it. Not that she deserved the torment at home, but I digress. That was also hard to wrap my head around - again, a great exercise to understanding that sometimes life just works that way.
I think it’s rare to see a book capture an experience in such a way. I’d describe it as “unfortunately realistic” lol. This definitely isn’t the cookie-cutter plot where the character gets everything they need from being a good person. Maisie is a prisoner to the things that she lacks - the things that are formative to a young girls growth. Like her mother’s love.
It’s interesting because in a way, she stepped on just about everyone who helped her. But if that isn’t a realistic (albeit unpretty) depiction of trauma, I don’t know what is. This was her in the heights of survival mode. Once she had climbed out of her own hell, she had to move forward onto better things knowing that she left a trail of pain behind her. That’s rough, but it’s real. And I applaud the fact that even though it’s an uncomfortable truth, it is a truth that was portrayed well.
There was one part that punched me in the gut because as it was a letter from Maisie’s dad, it was also something my own dad had said to me. The demanding from her father that she respect him and also saying that he won’t cry for her — I’ve heard those words. They aren’t fun to hear. I’m glad Maisie had a better outcome with her father than I did with mine.
Maisie’s story isn’t perfect. To understand this book and to accept its brilliance is to recognize that imperfection is just part of life. That timing isn’t always great and sometimes it’s even unfair. You might not see many books that tell a story like this, but how many times in your life have you heard of someone getting something amazing when they have done something horrible? It’s realistic, it’s not comforting, and that makes the book even better. It’s raw, it’s real, it’s gritty, and it isn’t perfect. It’s complicated.
I’m glad that Maisie got her happy ending. I’m glad that she wasn’t left in the trenches because she was certainly roaming around in them for a while.
Bravo to Barbara for creating this! This was raw talent.
Some of my favorite lines ⬇️⬇️
“Our house will reek for weeks
from the scent
of their bad marriage.”
“She gives me a look that would go well with a gun.”
“I cuddled next to Grandma,
pushing into her flowered dress
as if by climbing inside it,
I’d turn into a daisy
and stop being a little girl.”
“She must know that to my father,
green means the army,
fatigues, bombs, bullets, chaos.
So many boys he was drafted with
were maimed, destroyed, dead.
And there’s our people,
who had our blood, our eyes—
who didn’t get out of Europe in time
and were decimated.
So I guess this too-green house
is her announcement
of a new siege.”
“But there are no gods here in the Bronx”
“Peace has broken out in Parkchester”
“it was me who fell for Joe,
just back from the war,
success written across his face
like a Times Square billboard.’
You wanted my mother to marry the ‘man
with the neon smile.”
First of all, one word comes to mind. Complicated. This book is complicated. But don’t mistake that for being synonymous with being bad. This book is anything but bad. It is simply complicated.
The prose style in this book? I’ve never seen anything like it. I made 142 highlights because I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to save all of the moments that made my heart thump. To see a style so out of the ordinary yet so amazing was definitely inspiring.
Onto the story
It was definitely emotionally a hard pill to swallow. I read a review before reading it where someone said “I kept saying ‘don’t do it Maisie’” and I ended up feeling the same way as I read it. You’ve got this girl who is living in hell, but also making bad decisions. That’s a bit of a complex thing to wrap your mind around. You want so badly to feel for her, and you do, but you simultaneously have to understand that she isn’t making great choices either. It’s a really good exercise for understanding human complexity because despite the fact that we as humans often do the same, we still have a hard time understanding it.
Another thing I found to be complicated was that everything Maisie needed came right when she least deserved it. Not that she deserved the torment at home, but I digress. That was also hard to wrap my head around - again, a great exercise to understanding that sometimes life just works that way.
I think it’s rare to see a book capture an experience in such a way. I’d describe it as “unfortunately realistic” lol. This definitely isn’t the cookie-cutter plot where the character gets everything they need from being a good person. Maisie is a prisoner to the things that she lacks - the things that are formative to a young girls growth. Like her mother’s love.
It’s interesting because in a way, she stepped on just about everyone who helped her. But if that isn’t a realistic (albeit unpretty) depiction of trauma, I don’t know what is. This was her in the heights of survival mode. Once she had climbed out of her own hell, she had to move forward onto better things knowing that she left a trail of pain behind her. That’s rough, but it’s real. And I applaud the fact that even though it’s an uncomfortable truth, it is a truth that was portrayed well.
There was one part that punched me in the gut because as it was a letter from Maisie’s dad, it was also something my own dad had said to me. The demanding from her father that she respect him and also saying that he won’t cry for her — I’ve heard those words. They aren’t fun to hear. I’m glad Maisie had a better outcome with her father than I did with mine.
Maisie’s story isn’t perfect. To understand this book and to accept its brilliance is to recognize that imperfection is just part of life. That timing isn’t always great and sometimes it’s even unfair. You might not see many books that tell a story like this, but how many times in your life have you heard of someone getting something amazing when they have done something horrible? It’s realistic, it’s not comforting, and that makes the book even better. It’s raw, it’s real, it’s gritty, and it isn’t perfect. It’s complicated.
I’m glad that Maisie got her happy ending. I’m glad that she wasn’t left in the trenches because she was certainly roaming around in them for a while.
Bravo to Barbara for creating this! This was raw talent.
Some of my favorite lines ⬇️⬇️
“Our house will reek for weeks
from the scent
of their bad marriage.”
“She gives me a look that would go well with a gun.”
“I cuddled next to Grandma,
pushing into her flowered dress
as if by climbing inside it,
I’d turn into a daisy
and stop being a little girl.”
“She must know that to my father,
green means the army,
fatigues, bombs, bullets, chaos.
So many boys he was drafted with
were maimed, destroyed, dead.
And there’s our people,
who had our blood, our eyes—
who didn’t get out of Europe in time
and were decimated.
So I guess this too-green house
is her announcement
of a new siege.”
“But there are no gods here in the Bronx”
“Peace has broken out in Parkchester”
“it was me who fell for Joe,
just back from the war,
success written across his face
like a Times Square billboard.’
You wanted my mother to marry the ‘man
with the neon smile.”
November 23, 2020
I was thrilled when one of the book clubs I am a part of chose to read this book! I fell in love with the cover art when I saw it and have a weakness for novels-in-verse. I was delighted when I finally put together the pieces that Barbara Bottner is the same author of Miss Brooks Loves Books and I Don't.
When it came time to discuss this book as a group most of us arrived at the same conclusion: there were a lot of things that could have been teased out a bit better. It was a fine book but nothing earth shattering. Some felt like it was one of those novels-in-verse that would have worked better as prose. I didn't feel that way but, I will admit, this was quite an introspective novel. Not a whole lot happened plot wise and, when it finally did at the end, it felt rushed.
I will say that I greatly appreciated that the Maisie and her family is Jewish. It's not often one sees Jewish protagonists in YA novels unless they are set in World War II.
I wasn't particularly fond of Maisie and, while I wanted her to have a better life with her brother elsewhere, I didn't connect with her on the whole. I will be passing this book along to a Little Free Library when I go by one next. I think this could be a powerful, life changing book if put into the hands of the right person. I'm simply not that person.
Content Notes:
Sex? Yes, described poetically on page. There is also a poem where Maisie is looking at herself naked in the mirror. A character is sexually assaulted.
Language/Profanity? Yes, 3 instances of sh!t, 2 taking the Lord's name in vain, 9 instances of bastard, 1 instance of cocksucker, 3 instances of g*d@mn, 6 instances of a$$, 3 instances of hell, 5 instances of b!tch, 4 instances of d@mn,
Violence? Yes, someone is sexually assaulted. Another character has a physically abusive father.
Religious elements? Yes, Maisie attends Hebrew school briefly. How her family celebrates Jewish holidays is mentioned.
LGBTQ+ rep? Not specified
Could a conservative Christian school add this title to their library?
Doubtful.
When it came time to discuss this book as a group most of us arrived at the same conclusion: there were a lot of things that could have been teased out a bit better. It was a fine book but nothing earth shattering. Some felt like it was one of those novels-in-verse that would have worked better as prose. I didn't feel that way but, I will admit, this was quite an introspective novel. Not a whole lot happened plot wise and, when it finally did at the end, it felt rushed.
I will say that I greatly appreciated that the Maisie and her family is Jewish. It's not often one sees Jewish protagonists in YA novels unless they are set in World War II.
I wasn't particularly fond of Maisie and, while I wanted her to have a better life with her brother elsewhere, I didn't connect with her on the whole. I will be passing this book along to a Little Free Library when I go by one next. I think this could be a powerful, life changing book if put into the hands of the right person. I'm simply not that person.
Content Notes:
Sex? Yes, described poetically on page. There is also a poem where Maisie is looking at herself naked in the mirror. A character is sexually assaulted.
Language/Profanity? Yes, 3 instances of sh!t, 2 taking the Lord's name in vain, 9 instances of bastard, 1 instance of cocksucker, 3 instances of g*d@mn, 6 instances of a$$, 3 instances of hell, 5 instances of b!tch, 4 instances of d@mn,
Violence? Yes, someone is sexually assaulted. Another character has a physically abusive father.
Religious elements? Yes, Maisie attends Hebrew school briefly. How her family celebrates Jewish holidays is mentioned.
LGBTQ+ rep? Not specified
Could a conservative Christian school add this title to their library?
Doubtful.
August 31, 2020
Helmet hair, Russian cosmonauts, green wallpaper – Bottner paints 1960’s Bronx with bold descriptive strokes that set the scene for high school freshman Maisie who is tortured by her unpredictable and often cruel mom, neglected by her skirt-chasing dad and misunderstood by her sullen, secretive brother.
When she meets Rachel, she finds a sympathetic and wonderful friend and someone who has a family culture completely foreign to Maisie and absolutely fabulous. So fabulous, in fact, that she forms a bond with Rachel’s artist mother, Kiki, that leads to Maisie seeing herself in a new light. Maybe she is pretty. Maybe she does have talent. Maybe she could be happy.
With these positive thoughts also comes opportunities to make mistakes.
Maisie is a fighter; sometimes she fights with combative words and other times it’s with humor. She is a compelling, flawed character that you can’t help but root for.
This is my first free verse novel experience. It suits the novel, giving it a brisk pace and an unmistakable air of authenticity. It’s a quick read that packs a punch.
When she meets Rachel, she finds a sympathetic and wonderful friend and someone who has a family culture completely foreign to Maisie and absolutely fabulous. So fabulous, in fact, that she forms a bond with Rachel’s artist mother, Kiki, that leads to Maisie seeing herself in a new light. Maybe she is pretty. Maybe she does have talent. Maybe she could be happy.
With these positive thoughts also comes opportunities to make mistakes.
Maisie is a fighter; sometimes she fights with combative words and other times it’s with humor. She is a compelling, flawed character that you can’t help but root for.
This is my first free verse novel experience. It suits the novel, giving it a brisk pace and an unmistakable air of authenticity. It’s a quick read that packs a punch.
June 24, 2020
I received an electronic ARC from Macmillan Children's Publishing Group through NetGalley.
Told in poetry that captures the gamut of emotions the main character feels. Maisie is fourteen to start the book and moves into her fifteenth year as the story progresses. Her home life is horrendous - absent traveling father; abusive mother. By the end, she has started healing and coming out of her rage and nasty treatment of everyone including herself.
Though it's set in the 1960's, sadly, the story is timeless. Abuse is often hidden and the victims blamed. The various poetry styles tell the story from Maisie's eyes. She's not likeable, and isn't meant to be. My problem was that I felt the author could have done more to bring readers in. She told us about the characters but didn't bring them off the page.
Told in poetry that captures the gamut of emotions the main character feels. Maisie is fourteen to start the book and moves into her fifteenth year as the story progresses. Her home life is horrendous - absent traveling father; abusive mother. By the end, she has started healing and coming out of her rage and nasty treatment of everyone including herself.
Though it's set in the 1960's, sadly, the story is timeless. Abuse is often hidden and the victims blamed. The various poetry styles tell the story from Maisie's eyes. She's not likeable, and isn't meant to be. My problem was that I felt the author could have done more to bring readers in. She told us about the characters but didn't bring them off the page.
August 22, 2020
A frank, intimate and compelling coming-of-age anecdote. The supporting characters are so complex and fully realized they must surely derive from real people; Maisie's mother makes Joan Crawford look like Mary Poppins.
The setting is a nostalgic evocation of The Bronx in the 1960's that is vivid with atmosphere.
The free verse lends the whole an almost Homeric air, but is very accessible and easily digested.
But the most engaging aspect of this highly readable novel is surely the narrator/protagonist herself, Maisie, who though deeply flawed, is completely relatable as she pilots us through the storm of disappointment, discovery and delight that is teen-hood.
The setting is a nostalgic evocation of The Bronx in the 1960's that is vivid with atmosphere.
The free verse lends the whole an almost Homeric air, but is very accessible and easily digested.
But the most engaging aspect of this highly readable novel is surely the narrator/protagonist herself, Maisie, who though deeply flawed, is completely relatable as she pilots us through the storm of disappointment, discovery and delight that is teen-hood.
Read
August 1, 2020Disclaimer: I received a DRC from Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
I Am Here Now is a novel-in-verse, taking place in 1960-1961. The main character Maisie lives with her parents, but her mom is terribly abusive. She finds friendship with the boy across the way whose father is terribly abusive. As Maisie enters high school, she becomes friend with a girl named Rachel whose mother is an artist. Maisie quickly finds refuge in spending time with Rachel and Rachel’s mother Kiki. However, that refuge always ends as soon as Maisie goes back home.
This book is brutal. The abuse that Maisie experiences is horrific, and her father and her grandmother often ignore how bad it gets at time. Throughout the book, Maisie attempts to find hope through art and through relationships, trying to find something that will love her back when no one else does.
After reading the author’s note, I found out that this is a semi-biographical work of fiction, and because of that, I find it especially hard to critique this as a novel, to separate the author’s own experiences from the work of fiction.
That said, I had two main issues with this book from the fiction standpoint:
-The book is set in 1960-1961. However, unlike some historical fiction works, there is not a great deal of historical world building. Had the book not explicitly told me the time period it was set in, I wouldn’t have known. After reading the author’s note, it makes sense why it was set in this time period: that was the time that the author was a teen. However, as a work of fiction, it was hard to remain in the 1960s throughout this.
-Lack of hope. Although Maisie finds refuge within art, for most of the book, hope is sorely lacking. As a memoir, lack of hope makes sense; after all, depending on how much of this is autobiographical, there likely realistically was not much hope. However, the book summary said the world Maisie catches a glimpse of is full of life, creativity, and love. However, Maisie frequently has issues with Rachel and Kiki as well as the two male relationships in this book. None of the love that she experiences in the book is actual love. From a memoir perspective, again, this makes sense. However, for being a YA fiction work, the lack of hope until the final 50 pages concerned me a great deal.
However, if you like novels-in-verse and can handle tough subject matter, I would still recommend checking this out. While brutal, it is a quicker read, and it will leave you thinking. If you come into it with the lens of “this is semi-autobiographical,” you will have a better experience as a reader.
I Am Here Now releases Tuesday, August 4.
I Am Here Now is a novel-in-verse, taking place in 1960-1961. The main character Maisie lives with her parents, but her mom is terribly abusive. She finds friendship with the boy across the way whose father is terribly abusive. As Maisie enters high school, she becomes friend with a girl named Rachel whose mother is an artist. Maisie quickly finds refuge in spending time with Rachel and Rachel’s mother Kiki. However, that refuge always ends as soon as Maisie goes back home.
This book is brutal. The abuse that Maisie experiences is horrific, and her father and her grandmother often ignore how bad it gets at time. Throughout the book, Maisie attempts to find hope through art and through relationships, trying to find something that will love her back when no one else does.
After reading the author’s note, I found out that this is a semi-biographical work of fiction, and because of that, I find it especially hard to critique this as a novel, to separate the author’s own experiences from the work of fiction.
That said, I had two main issues with this book from the fiction standpoint:
-The book is set in 1960-1961. However, unlike some historical fiction works, there is not a great deal of historical world building. Had the book not explicitly told me the time period it was set in, I wouldn’t have known. After reading the author’s note, it makes sense why it was set in this time period: that was the time that the author was a teen. However, as a work of fiction, it was hard to remain in the 1960s throughout this.
-Lack of hope. Although Maisie finds refuge within art, for most of the book, hope is sorely lacking. As a memoir, lack of hope makes sense; after all, depending on how much of this is autobiographical, there likely realistically was not much hope. However, the book summary said the world Maisie catches a glimpse of is full of life, creativity, and love. However, Maisie frequently has issues with Rachel and Kiki as well as the two male relationships in this book. None of the love that she experiences in the book is actual love. From a memoir perspective, again, this makes sense. However, for being a YA fiction work, the lack of hope until the final 50 pages concerned me a great deal.
However, if you like novels-in-verse and can handle tough subject matter, I would still recommend checking this out. While brutal, it is a quicker read, and it will leave you thinking. If you come into it with the lens of “this is semi-autobiographical,” you will have a better experience as a reader.
I Am Here Now releases Tuesday, August 4.
June 16, 2024
Esse livro me surpreendeu bastante!! No começo achei que não iria me adaptar ao estilo de escrita, porque é bem diferente do que estou acostumada a ler. É todo escrito em versos. Pensei que seria difícil me conectar com as emoções da personagem e acompanhar o desenvolvimento dos acontecimentos da vida dela, mas não. Nesse sentido, foi até fácil. Porém, não é uma leitura levinha... Tem gatilhos de abuso sexual e abandono parental.
A Maisie é uma adolescente apaixonada por arte, que está se descobrindo, vivendo o primeiro amor, buscando ter boas amizades e pessoas que a amem de verdade. Ela precisa de muita validação externa, pois nunca se sentiu querida. Nasceu em uma família disfuncional, na qual o sentimento de abandono é muito grande. Seja por parte de pai ou mãe, as relações familiares deixam muito a desejar. Até a relação dela com o próprio irmão é afetada pelo ambiente em que eles vivem.
Rachel e Richie são os amigos mais próximos dela, com quem consegue falar mais abertamente e dividir os problemas que enfrenta em casa. Eles também têm suas questões familiares, então parecem ser as únicas pessoas no mundo que a entendem.
Rachel, no entanto, aos olhos de Maisie, tem a família perfeita. É a família que ela queria ter. O que antes era motivo para uni-las, começa a incomodar de uma forma que as afasta. Rachel não quer mais que ela seja tão próxima de sua mãe, ou de seu namorado. E aí as coisas pioram de vez, porque a Maisie se vê numa confusão enorme, mentindo para as pessoas que ama, fazendo um monte de coisas erradas e se sentindo cada vez mais sozinha.
É um coming-of-age que se passa nos anos 60, trazendo muitas referências culturais. Apesar de eu não estar na faixa etária da protagonista, me bateu um sentimento grande de nostalgia, lembrando de como tudo parece ser tão intenso e decisivo quando se tem 15 anos. Às vezes, uma coisinha de nada gera um drama enorme, enquanto coisas que realmente importam e doem no coração ficam escondidas por muito tempo.
Também é triste ver como a Maisie muitas vezes tem que ser mais adulta do que a própria mãe, principalmente nos momentos em que entra em defesa do irmão. Ao mesmo tempo em que ela é só uma menina descobrindo o primeiro crush, também tem que ser firme e madura pra lidar com os problemas em casa. Isso é muito doloroso de ler. Mas foi uma ótima leitura!
A Maisie é uma adolescente apaixonada por arte, que está se descobrindo, vivendo o primeiro amor, buscando ter boas amizades e pessoas que a amem de verdade. Ela precisa de muita validação externa, pois nunca se sentiu querida. Nasceu em uma família disfuncional, na qual o sentimento de abandono é muito grande. Seja por parte de pai ou mãe, as relações familiares deixam muito a desejar. Até a relação dela com o próprio irmão é afetada pelo ambiente em que eles vivem.
Rachel e Richie são os amigos mais próximos dela, com quem consegue falar mais abertamente e dividir os problemas que enfrenta em casa. Eles também têm suas questões familiares, então parecem ser as únicas pessoas no mundo que a entendem.
Rachel, no entanto, aos olhos de Maisie, tem a família perfeita. É a família que ela queria ter. O que antes era motivo para uni-las, começa a incomodar de uma forma que as afasta. Rachel não quer mais que ela seja tão próxima de sua mãe, ou de seu namorado. E aí as coisas pioram de vez, porque a Maisie se vê numa confusão enorme, mentindo para as pessoas que ama, fazendo um monte de coisas erradas e se sentindo cada vez mais sozinha.
É um coming-of-age que se passa nos anos 60, trazendo muitas referências culturais. Apesar de eu não estar na faixa etária da protagonista, me bateu um sentimento grande de nostalgia, lembrando de como tudo parece ser tão intenso e decisivo quando se tem 15 anos. Às vezes, uma coisinha de nada gera um drama enorme, enquanto coisas que realmente importam e doem no coração ficam escondidas por muito tempo.
Também é triste ver como a Maisie muitas vezes tem que ser mais adulta do que a própria mãe, principalmente nos momentos em que entra em defesa do irmão. Ao mesmo tempo em que ela é só uma menina descobrindo o primeiro crush, também tem que ser firme e madura pra lidar com os problemas em casa. Isso é muito doloroso de ler. Mas foi uma ótima leitura!
June 30, 2020
*maybe more like a 3.5 but i'll let it sit there for now
I was given an arc through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
So. That was definitely something. Yeah.
I didn't know much about this going into and I didn't realize it was told in free verse (or I did but eventually forgot by the time I got around to reading this, not sure which). So I was pleasantly surprised to find out it was. I used to read a lot of free verse books but I haven't read one in probably over a decade and really fell in love with the format once again. It did take a little getting used to as the sentences came off as blocky in the beginning, but once I got used to it I really loved it and found it beautifully written.
I also loved that this is a very character driven story. I'm especially partial to character driven stories already but when you have a format and a story like this I think it especially works well. In this case there really isn't much of a plot but I didn't mind it. I didn't particularly love Maisie as a character and I feel like if you need to love characters to enjoy stories you're not going to like this, but I didn't get the impression that you were supposed to love her anyway. I definitely felt for her and understood her and where she was coming from, but I didn't love her and in this particular case I was okay with that.
I do wish the ending was a little less... abrupt. It seemed to wrap up too quickly and too nicely. Don't get me wrong I wanted that for Maisie and her brother, but once it happened there wasn't enough talk about the aftermath for me and it just came off as really rushed because of it. I think another five or ten pages would have really helped the conclusion feel more complete.
Other than that I found this really beautiful and heartbreaking and it's definitely worth giving a shot.
tws: cheating, divorce, child abuse (verbal and physical)
I was given an arc through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review
So. That was definitely something. Yeah.
I didn't know much about this going into and I didn't realize it was told in free verse (or I did but eventually forgot by the time I got around to reading this, not sure which). So I was pleasantly surprised to find out it was. I used to read a lot of free verse books but I haven't read one in probably over a decade and really fell in love with the format once again. It did take a little getting used to as the sentences came off as blocky in the beginning, but once I got used to it I really loved it and found it beautifully written.
I also loved that this is a very character driven story. I'm especially partial to character driven stories already but when you have a format and a story like this I think it especially works well. In this case there really isn't much of a plot but I didn't mind it. I didn't particularly love Maisie as a character and I feel like if you need to love characters to enjoy stories you're not going to like this, but I didn't get the impression that you were supposed to love her anyway. I definitely felt for her and understood her and where she was coming from, but I didn't love her and in this particular case I was okay with that.
I do wish the ending was a little less... abrupt. It seemed to wrap up too quickly and too nicely. Don't get me wrong I wanted that for Maisie and her brother, but once it happened there wasn't enough talk about the aftermath for me and it just came off as really rushed because of it. I think another five or ten pages would have really helped the conclusion feel more complete.
Other than that I found this really beautiful and heartbreaking and it's definitely worth giving a shot.
tws: cheating, divorce, child abuse (verbal and physical)
August 20, 2020
This heart-aching free verse novel holds a magnifying glass up to life in a dysfunctional family; particularly the struggles a talented girl, Maisie (rightfully sad and angry) has self-nurturing and retaining a sense of worth when her parents abdicate their roles. Maisie's mother is furious about her lot in life--and takes out that frustration on her daughter. Maisie's father escapes their unpleasant household, traveling for work (and one suspects happier liasons) leaving Maisie and her younger brother in the turmoil of their mother's angst. Bit by bit Maisie finds supportive souls from which to salvage her life: the boy in the next building with a similar explosive family (his father a vet with PTSD), the kind girl at school whose free-spirited artist mother proves just the antidote for Maisie's malaise. Poems vary from harrowing to funny to surprising and back again. And we root for Maisie -- though her flailing actions are not always the smartest or kindest. Eventually, she pulls together her artistic talent, her moral construct and her love for her little brother--and their life begins to look sunnier. It's a difficult, riveting ride that I felt very lucky to go on.
The criticisms I see on other reviews I find mystifying. The idea that a main character must be a likable goody-two-shoes to be worth our emotional investment speaks to a narrow, protected POV. On the contrary... I remembered those girls in high school who seemed hellbent on one type of destruction or another--the wrong boyfriends, acting-out or sullen indulgences. Reading this helped me (lucky to have had a happier home life) understand what might have been happening behind those girls' closed doors, that I could not begin to guess or comprehend from the outside. It's a story more people should read to gain such insights about all-too-real difficult lives; a story this author has bravely laid bare for us to behold and to learn from.
The criticisms I see on other reviews I find mystifying. The idea that a main character must be a likable goody-two-shoes to be worth our emotional investment speaks to a narrow, protected POV. On the contrary... I remembered those girls in high school who seemed hellbent on one type of destruction or another--the wrong boyfriends, acting-out or sullen indulgences. Reading this helped me (lucky to have had a happier home life) understand what might have been happening behind those girls' closed doors, that I could not begin to guess or comprehend from the outside. It's a story more people should read to gain such insights about all-too-real difficult lives; a story this author has bravely laid bare for us to behold and to learn from.
July 19, 2020
I Am Here Now is a novel in verse about a young girl coming of age in the Bronx in the 1960s. Maisie lives with her brother, absentee father, and abusive mother. Her best friend, Richie, lives next door - also a victim of parental abuse from a father suffering from PTSD. Maisie is getting ready to start high school which her mother barely acknowledges and her father is too distracted to note. So Maisie acts out in other ways, nothing too awful, but enough to get someone to pay attention to her. She meets Rachel in class and not only gains a BFF, but a surrogate mother in Rachel's mom, Rachel's mother is an artist and is more then happy to give Maisie tips and advice, helping Maisie blossom from a girl who likes art, to an artist herself. All this excitement and self-discovery mingles with the horror of being verbally and physically abused by her own mother.
This book was so well-written it was a pleasure to read. The subject matter was horrifying in parts but the description was vivid and breathtaking. Fans of Jason Reynolds and Jacqueline Woodson will enjoy reading I Am Here Now. It was a quick read and very well-paced. This is going to be a great book club choice - the discussion could allow others to relate their own experiences and possibly get help where needed. Thank you for the opportunity to read the ARC!
This book was so well-written it was a pleasure to read. The subject matter was horrifying in parts but the description was vivid and breathtaking. Fans of Jason Reynolds and Jacqueline Woodson will enjoy reading I Am Here Now. It was a quick read and very well-paced. This is going to be a great book club choice - the discussion could allow others to relate their own experiences and possibly get help where needed. Thank you for the opportunity to read the ARC!
July 28, 2020
“But, Dad, my personality is problematic,”
I object at those times.
We both know “problematic”
is a guidance counselor word.
Fourteen year old Maisie’s entire life is problematic so it’s no surprise it reflects in her personality. Written in verse and set in the 1960s, I Am Here Now is an insightful look into the “ideal” family and the horrors that go on behind closed doors.
The writing is superb and somehow makes you feel nostalgic for a time that you never lived through, and honestly most of Maisie’s life is full of events I would prefer to stay far away from. Like any good protagonist, Maisie was human, full of faults and mistakes and goals, and loss, and personality. Even when you’re screaming at her not to do something stupid, you are rooting for her, willing her to find redemption.
Several times while reading I forgot that it was set in the 60s, which in other stories may be concerning, but here only highlights the all too current issues of domestic and child abuse; the year doesn’t matter because Maisie’s story could be anyone’s.
Unique, heart-wrenching, and mesmerizingly lyrical, I Am Here Now is a new favorite that will be stuck in my head for the foreseeable future.
I object at those times.
We both know “problematic”
is a guidance counselor word.
Fourteen year old Maisie’s entire life is problematic so it’s no surprise it reflects in her personality. Written in verse and set in the 1960s, I Am Here Now is an insightful look into the “ideal” family and the horrors that go on behind closed doors.
The writing is superb and somehow makes you feel nostalgic for a time that you never lived through, and honestly most of Maisie’s life is full of events I would prefer to stay far away from. Like any good protagonist, Maisie was human, full of faults and mistakes and goals, and loss, and personality. Even when you’re screaming at her not to do something stupid, you are rooting for her, willing her to find redemption.
Several times while reading I forgot that it was set in the 60s, which in other stories may be concerning, but here only highlights the all too current issues of domestic and child abuse; the year doesn’t matter because Maisie’s story could be anyone’s.
Unique, heart-wrenching, and mesmerizingly lyrical, I Am Here Now is a new favorite that will be stuck in my head for the foreseeable future.
August 1, 2020
I was provided with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
4☆
Characters-
I have seen many people talk about how much they disliked the main character of I Am Here Now in their reviews, but I actually really appreciated her. Although she did a lot of messed up things, her mentality reminded me of my own when I was at my lowest a couple of years ago, and it was helpful for me personally to recognize the issues the main character and I shared by reading about it.
I also felt a huge connection to the little brother in this book and the similarities he possessed along my own little brother. Every single character in I Am Here Now either reminded me of a real person, or showed likeness of a person that could exist in our world. In my experience, characters with so much depth and realness are hard to come by.
Plot-
The storyline and structure was a little off for me in this book. Honestly, I havent been able to completely put a name to what was off, but I believe it may have been the pacing. In no way did this issue make the book unreadable, or difficult/boring, but I did feel not as engaged at certain points because of the pacing.
Writing-
This book is in verse which is something I have come to love. The reason I love novels in verse so much is due to the beautiful poeticism mixed with a simple type of storytelling. I did feel that the author was missing a bit of the beautiful language and style that usually comes with verse, and at points I Am Here Now read like a traditional novel with a verse type formatting due to this.
Overall, I Am Here Now had a couple mild issues, but the characters and relationships in it mostly made up for them in my opinion.
4☆
Characters-
I have seen many people talk about how much they disliked the main character of I Am Here Now in their reviews, but I actually really appreciated her. Although she did a lot of messed up things, her mentality reminded me of my own when I was at my lowest a couple of years ago, and it was helpful for me personally to recognize the issues the main character and I shared by reading about it.
I also felt a huge connection to the little brother in this book and the similarities he possessed along my own little brother. Every single character in I Am Here Now either reminded me of a real person, or showed likeness of a person that could exist in our world. In my experience, characters with so much depth and realness are hard to come by.
Plot-
The storyline and structure was a little off for me in this book. Honestly, I havent been able to completely put a name to what was off, but I believe it may have been the pacing. In no way did this issue make the book unreadable, or difficult/boring, but I did feel not as engaged at certain points because of the pacing.
Writing-
This book is in verse which is something I have come to love. The reason I love novels in verse so much is due to the beautiful poeticism mixed with a simple type of storytelling. I did feel that the author was missing a bit of the beautiful language and style that usually comes with verse, and at points I Am Here Now read like a traditional novel with a verse type formatting due to this.
Overall, I Am Here Now had a couple mild issues, but the characters and relationships in it mostly made up for them in my opinion.
January 31, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley for the eARC!
I liked the format, however I didn't find myself liking any of the characters. I got about a quarter of the way through and after the multiple typos and poorly plotted story, I found myself bored and uninterested.
Our narrator Maisie is a girl about to start high school and that's essentially all we see. She's deeply lonely and surrounded by abuse. Maisie isn't an active character though and seems to let everything pass her by. There's no motivation for her and she doesn't really connect with any of the other characters.
The neighbor she was friends with was interesting, especially with the resemblance between their home lives, but he was again a very passive character. He didn't add much to the story and I could already guess where his plot line was going to go.
It really could have used another edit as well since there were several typos throughout the book and I only read the first 19% before I lost interest. I really wanted to like this but it just didn't grab me or make me want to finish it.
I liked the format, however I didn't find myself liking any of the characters. I got about a quarter of the way through and after the multiple typos and poorly plotted story, I found myself bored and uninterested.
Our narrator Maisie is a girl about to start high school and that's essentially all we see. She's deeply lonely and surrounded by abuse. Maisie isn't an active character though and seems to let everything pass her by. There's no motivation for her and she doesn't really connect with any of the other characters.
The neighbor she was friends with was interesting, especially with the resemblance between their home lives, but he was again a very passive character. He didn't add much to the story and I could already guess where his plot line was going to go.
It really could have used another edit as well since there were several typos throughout the book and I only read the first 19% before I lost interest. I really wanted to like this but it just didn't grab me or make me want to finish it.
March 11, 2020
1.5*
I did not enjoy this book…at all. I wanted to (because I love stories told through free verse) and I tried (I did not abandon it even though I really, really wanted to be done).
It was not all bad…
What I liked:
References to Art/Artists and museums of NYC; references to Hungarian culture/traditions; some of the chapters are really great—I especially enjoyed the letters between the characters—and Maisie has a sarcastically, witty mouth.
What bothered me:
Such a slow plot—I was so bored. None of the characters are likeable and I could not care less about what happened to them. Maisie and Rachel are both shallow and have the same arrogant, angry voice. The parents are terrible—Judith is an over-the-top hideous person. I don’t consider this a historical 1960s novel—the time period did not add anything to the storyline and the story would not change outside of that time.
So... it wasn't a good fit for me... but, if it sounds interesting to you--give it a shot!
I did not enjoy this book…at all. I wanted to (because I love stories told through free verse) and I tried (I did not abandon it even though I really, really wanted to be done).
It was not all bad…
What I liked:
References to Art/Artists and museums of NYC; references to Hungarian culture/traditions; some of the chapters are really great—I especially enjoyed the letters between the characters—and Maisie has a sarcastically, witty mouth.
What bothered me:
Such a slow plot—I was so bored. None of the characters are likeable and I could not care less about what happened to them. Maisie and Rachel are both shallow and have the same arrogant, angry voice. The parents are terrible—Judith is an over-the-top hideous person. I don’t consider this a historical 1960s novel—the time period did not add anything to the storyline and the story would not change outside of that time.
So... it wasn't a good fit for me... but, if it sounds interesting to you--give it a shot!
July 17, 2020
Fantastic. Brilliant. Lyrical and destined to be a CLASSIC!!! I have never been as moved or delighted by a YA book as I have been by I AM HERE NOW. In totally accessible verse, its powerful poetry takes it into universal. I loved it beyond words. But I will try.
Barbara Bottner climbs inside the mind of a teenage girl with the stealth and compassion of a J.D. Salinger. Heartbreaking at times, deeply comic at others, Mazie, the main character is an anti-hero heroine. Sometimes you love her, sometimes you don't, but her depth of feeling never lets you go. In exquisite detail, the author gives us the authentic flavor of the Bronx in the 50's/60's--Parkchester-- I loved going back there with her. The resounding theme is that even in the face of terrible abuse and neglect, art can save a young person from destroying themselves. How beautiful How true.
Barbara Bottner climbs inside the mind of a teenage girl with the stealth and compassion of a J.D. Salinger. Heartbreaking at times, deeply comic at others, Mazie, the main character is an anti-hero heroine. Sometimes you love her, sometimes you don't, but her depth of feeling never lets you go. In exquisite detail, the author gives us the authentic flavor of the Bronx in the 50's/60's--Parkchester-- I loved going back there with her. The resounding theme is that even in the face of terrible abuse and neglect, art can save a young person from destroying themselves. How beautiful How true.
July 23, 2020
I Am Here Now was written in verse, which I think was the best thing it had going for it. I usually love books written in verse, but this one didn't work for me.
Let's start with the characters. I could not stand Maisie. She was immature and made decisions she knew were wrong. Yes, I know she was 14, but I couldn't stand when she would say 'I know I shouldn't cheat with my best friend's boyfriend' but then she does anyway. And lies about it. Then gets sad her best friend won't talk to her? I mean.... duh.
I also didn't feel like there was a plot. Things happened, but it never led to anything else. It was just a year or so in her life. I didn't like her enough to read something like that. This made the pacing feel slow and cumbersome.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Let's start with the characters. I could not stand Maisie. She was immature and made decisions she knew were wrong. Yes, I know she was 14, but I couldn't stand when she would say 'I know I shouldn't cheat with my best friend's boyfriend' but then she does anyway. And lies about it. Then gets sad her best friend won't talk to her? I mean.... duh.
I also didn't feel like there was a plot. Things happened, but it never led to anything else. It was just a year or so in her life. I didn't like her enough to read something like that. This made the pacing feel slow and cumbersome.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
July 23, 2020
I Am Here Now was written in verse, which I think was the best thing it had going for it. I usually love books written in verse, but this one didn't work for me.
Let's start with the characters. I could not stand Maisie. She was immature and made decisions she knew were wrong. Yes, I know she was 14, but I couldn't stand when she would say 'I know I shouldn't cheat with my best friend's boyfriend' but then she does anyway. And lies about it. Then gets sad her best friend won't talk to her? I mean.... duh.
I also didn't feel like there was a plot. Things happened, but it never led to anything else. It was just a year or so in her life. I didn't like her enough to read something like that. This made the pacing feel slow and cumbersome.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Let's start with the characters. I could not stand Maisie. She was immature and made decisions she knew were wrong. Yes, I know she was 14, but I couldn't stand when she would say 'I know I shouldn't cheat with my best friend's boyfriend' but then she does anyway. And lies about it. Then gets sad her best friend won't talk to her? I mean.... duh.
I also didn't feel like there was a plot. Things happened, but it never led to anything else. It was just a year or so in her life. I didn't like her enough to read something like that. This made the pacing feel slow and cumbersome.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 2, 2020
Netgalley provided me a DRC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This was a tough read with tough topics--abusive parents, absent parents, puberty and sexuality, turbulent friendship, and more--that teens will relate too even with the 1960's setting. To be quite honest, other than a few details here and there, it doesn't even feel that historical--it feels like it could take place in any decade.
The characters are a tough to like (even our narrator), which feels realistic but makes enjoying the story a little more difficult. Parents are terrible parents, friends are terrible friends, and choices are made that make you cringe as a reader. I did like watching the development of Maisie's relationship with her brother, and I eventually rooted for her to figure things out with her father and her friends.
This was a tough read with tough topics--abusive parents, absent parents, puberty and sexuality, turbulent friendship, and more--that teens will relate too even with the 1960's setting. To be quite honest, other than a few details here and there, it doesn't even feel that historical--it feels like it could take place in any decade.
The characters are a tough to like (even our narrator), which feels realistic but makes enjoying the story a little more difficult. Parents are terrible parents, friends are terrible friends, and choices are made that make you cringe as a reader. I did like watching the development of Maisie's relationship with her brother, and I eventually rooted for her to figure things out with her father and her friends.
August 21, 2020
I loved this book! Reading a novel in verse is a wonderful way to see the poetry in a character's life. And Maisie is a colorful, soulful, funny and emotional teenager who views the world through her prisms of art and her dysfunctional family. Cross-over readers will relate to her struggles whether they grew up in the 1960's or are teenagers in 2020. Bottner has a fabulous command of language. Your heart breaks with lines like, "I'm trying to wear my mother" describing why Maisie sneaks into her mother's closet. It's the only way she can get close to her. And you laugh with lines like "if you can't find peace when you're alive, when you're dust it's probably too late" describing a cemetery where people come to rest in peace. I rooted for Maisie every step of the way.
October 3, 2023
I’ve never read a book in verses before and I loved it.
However what I didn’t like about this was that timeline was 60’s and a lot of the time I felt like I was a time traveler and the time and the place didn’t exist on a new verse.
So it would go from “ok I’m getting a little 60s here” then the next one it’s like “now we’re in what current times?, and location anywhere”. Which got annoying and I just wanted to finish this because I wanted to see how it ended.
I also had a not love… but idk what to call it/hate relationship with the main character. To me, she was a self centered bitch “excusez mon français”.
You know. Yes I actually hated Maisie, and I felt bad for her in the beginning and I’m glad she had somewhat of a happy ending.
However what I didn’t like about this was that timeline was 60’s and a lot of the time I felt like I was a time traveler and the time and the place didn’t exist on a new verse.
So it would go from “ok I’m getting a little 60s here” then the next one it’s like “now we’re in what current times?, and location anywhere”. Which got annoying and I just wanted to finish this because I wanted to see how it ended.
I also had a not love… but idk what to call it/hate relationship with the main character. To me, she was a self centered bitch “excusez mon français”.
You know. Yes I actually hated Maisie, and I felt bad for her in the beginning and I’m glad she had somewhat of a happy ending.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 31, 2020
I loved this novel-in-verse. "Maisie's first day of high school should be exciting, but all she wants is to escape." Her mother is abusive, her brother is distant, and her father is often absent. She finds solace in her art, in the family of her best friend, and sometimes in her grandmother, who had fled the Holocaust as a young woman. The characters are vivid and well-drawn. The story flows, and although Maisie makes some bad decisions, readers fall in love with her.
Maisie's thoughts about the power of art are inspiring!
Maisie's thoughts about the power of art are inspiring!
June 16, 2022
I loved this novel-in-verse. "Maisie's first day of high school should be exciting, but all she wants is to escape." Her mother is abusive, her brother is distant, and her father is often absent. She finds solace in her art, in the family of her best friend, and sometimes in her grandmother, who had fled the Holocaust as a young woman. The characters are vivid and well-drawn. The story flows, and although Maisie makes some bad decisions, readers fall in love with her.
Maisie's thoughts about the power of art are inspiring!
Maisie's thoughts about the power of art are inspiring!
April 7, 2020
Thank you to Edelweiss, the author, and the publisher for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest review!
Unfortunately, this book just wasn’t for me. I think the artistic side of the plot took a big backseat that I wasn’t expecting. I found the majority of the characters incredibly unlikable and I didn’t have a reason to root for any of them. The historical setting changed nothing about the story as a whole and didn’t come alive for me.
Unfortunately, this book just wasn’t for me. I think the artistic side of the plot took a big backseat that I wasn’t expecting. I found the majority of the characters incredibly unlikable and I didn’t have a reason to root for any of them. The historical setting changed nothing about the story as a whole and didn’t come alive for me.
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