Also collected in A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again and originally published in Harper's, this is another travelogue turned existential rumination that shows unabashedly and hilariously the horrors of society (this time via a cruise ship) and really says more about the author himself.
David Foster Wallace was an acclaimed American writer known for his fiction, nonfiction, and critical essays that explored the complexities of consciousness, irony, and the human condition. Widely regarded as one of the most innovative literary voices of his generation, Wallace is perhaps best known for his 1996 novel Infinite Jest, which was listed by Time magazine as one of the 100 best English-language novels published between 1923 and 2005. His unfinished final novel, The Pale King, was published posthumously in 2011 and was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize. Born in Ithaca, New York, Wallace was raised in Illinois, where he excelled as both a student and a junior tennis player—a sport he later wrote about with sharp insight and humor. He earned degrees in English and philosophy from Amherst College, then completed an MFA in creative writing at the University of Arizona. His early academic work in logic and philosophy informed much of his writing, particularly in his blending of analytical depth with emotional complexity. Wallace’s first novel, The Broom of the System (1987), established his reputation as a fresh literary talent. Over the next two decades, he published widely in prestigious journals and magazines, producing short stories, essays, and book reviews that earned him critical acclaim. His work was characterized by linguistic virtuosity, inventive structure, and a deep concern for moral and existential questions. In addition to fiction, he tackled topics ranging from tennis and state fairs to cruise ships, politics, and the ethics of food consumption. Beyond his literary achievements, Wallace had a significant academic career, teaching literature and writing at Emerson College, Illinois State University, and Pomona College. He was known for his intense engagement with students and commitment to teaching. Wallace struggled with depression and addiction for much of his adult life, and he was hospitalized multiple times. He died by suicide in 2008 at the age of 46. In the years since his death, his influence has continued to grow, inspiring scholars, conferences, and a dedicated readership. However, his legacy is complicated by posthumous revelations of abusive behavior, particularly during his relationship with writer Mary Karr, which has led to ongoing debate within literary and academic communities. His distinctive voice—by turns cerebral, comic, and compassionate—remains a defining force in contemporary literature. Wallace once described fiction as a way of making readers feel "less alone inside," and it is that emotional resonance, alongside his formal daring, that continues to define his place in American letters.
There is something inescapably bovine about a herd of American tourists in motion, a certain greedy placidity, I feel guilty by perceived association. I've barely been out of the U.S.A. before, and never as part of a high-income herd, and in port-even up here above it all on Deck 12, watching-I'm newly and unpleasantly conscious of being an American, the same way I'm always suddenly conscious of being white every time I'm around a lot of non-white people. I cannot help imagining us as we appear to them, the bored Jamaicans and Mexicans, or especially to the non-Aryan and hard-driven crew of the Nadir, All week I've found myself doing everything I can to distance myself in the crew's eyes from the bovine herd I'm part of: I eschew cameras and sunglasses and pastel Caribbeanwear; I make a big deal of carrying my own luggage and my own cafeteria tray and am effusive in my thanks for the slightest service. Since so many of my shipmates shout, I make it a point of special pride to speak extra-quietly to crewmen whose English is poor. But, of course, part of the overall despair of this Luxury Cruise is that whatever I do I cannot escape my own essential and newly unpleasant Americanness. Whether up here or down there, I am an American tourist, and am thus ex officio large, fleshy, red, loud, coarse, condescending, self-absorbed, spoiled, appearance-conscious, greedy, ashamed, and despairing.
DFW has a certain charm in his ability to be an absolute nerd. You get the sense that he's nerdy in the same way that someone who genuinely loves Star Trek is nerdy. Somehow earnest and honest about his nerdiness, albeit a tad more introspective. He's a human birdwatcher or something of the sort. Wallace has a way of turning his writing into a set of musings rather than observations, a stylistic trait that keeps this from ever becoming too heavy for you to bear. In a sense, he pampers you with the simplicity that this naked honesty brings. Learned as the writing may be, it carries you through the spectacle(s) in a way that I only wish I could emulate.
The most notable thing about this essay is that every word of it is spot on. To the letter. His only errors were missing that Pre-Cruise pictures will be sold to you almost immediately into the cruise in their own gift shop rather than after the fact (perhaps not so in 1996?) and that the room is designed to keep you away from it as much as possible, agoraphobic or no. I don't think any paragraph has isolated the sensation of being alien to and alienated by your own cultural superiority as well as the above one has.
Cruise ships are the perfected formula of hedonistic intake, and he captures just about every single characteristic of cruising that should be captured in a critical essay that can't escape the bewilderment of such excess. Anyone who thinks that they can declaratively critique The Cruise is just frightened by it and succumbs to their fears. It is more powerful than you and will always be more powerful than you. You may feel that you are above those who consume The Cruise, but where does that really leave you at the end of the day?
I read this book at the suggestion of a friend I met on, ironically enough, on a cruise. I’d greatly suggest it to anyone who recently disembarked a cruise, or is trying to make sense of their experience.
His rant regarding the psychological syndrome of WANT (unceasing and increasing desire for self-indulgence) is worth the price of admission.
Reading DFW continues to be heartbreaking yet rewarding endeavor. For a man who has such a beat on the human condition, it hurts to watch him continuously miss the forest for the woods. This happens every time I read him. I am left on the verge of tears over his ability to notice everything, and yet [to him] nothing seem ultimately worth his noticing. He reminds me of this Lewis quote I’ve always loved:
“You cannot go on 'seeing through' things for ever. The whole point of seeing through something is to see something through it. It is good that the window should be transparent, because the street or garden beyond it is opaque. How if you saw through the garden too? It is no use trying to 'see through' first principles. If you see through everything, then everything is transparent. But a wholly transparent world is an invisible world. To 'see through' all things is the same as not to see.”
Now I am well aware that this hardly constitutes a book, and I am well prepared for the comments from my haters, throwing jibes such as ‘stat padding’ at me, but I had to write this review because I can’t recommend reading this brochure enough.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed out loud so much at something I’ve read before.
David Foster Wallace was sent on a 7 day luxury cruise ship and asked to record his experience. The result is a hilarious, authentic, and articulate 24-page telling of his time aboard the cruise ship ‘Zenith’ (which he refers to as the Nadir throughout the brochure). Some of the descriptions are brilliant, and highlight the absurdity of captitalist-indulgence culture. His retelling of his repeated run ins with the ships captain, who suspects him to be an undercover journalist hellbent on exposing the underworld of the cruising industry is hilarious, and reads like a curb your enthusiasm episode.
The part where he is caught in a tussle with one of the porters, and D.F.W. wants to take his own luggage to his room, but the overly attendant porter can’t allow him to do it himself, made me laugh a lot, and I’ll write a little extract below. (As you can tell I really want people to read this).
‘And now a very strange argument ensues, me versus the Lebanese porter, because, I now understand, I am putting this guy, who barely speaks English, in a terrible kind of sedulous service double blind, a paradox of pampering: The Passengers Always Right vs Never Let A Passenger Carry His Own Bag. Clueless at the time to what this poor man was going through, I wave off both his high pitched protests and agonised expression as mere servile courtesy, and I extract the duffel and lug it up the hall to room 1009. Only later do I understand what I’ve done. Only later do I learn that that little Lebanese deck-10 porter had his head just about chewed off by the (also Lebanese) Deck-10 head porter, who had his head chewed off by the Austrian Chief Steward, who received confirmed reports that a passenger had been seen carrying his own bag up the port hallway of deck-10 and now demanded a rolling Lebanese head for this clear indication of porterly deriliction, and the Austrian Chief Steward had reported the incident to the ships officer of Guest Relations, a Greek guy with Revo shades and a walkie talkie…. And this high ranking Greek guy actually came around to 1009 to apologise on behalf of practically the entire Chandris shipping line and to assure me that ragged-neck Lebanese heads were even at this very moment rolling down various corridors in piacular recompense for my having had to carry my own bag.’
Never thought I’d want to re-read a brochure, let alone so soon.
Alien to any cruise ship experience, just read it for some good old DFW writing. That was delivered in plenty. Pretty much like all of DFW’s work, it is witty, it is humorous, it is remarkably detailed, and it asks uncomfortable & important questions.
can suffer from poorly-aged language at times but manages in about 20 pages to be one of the most thoroughly entertaining and funny bits of insight on vapid tourism, discomforting hospitality, and sedative luxury you can read for free online. recommended !
A gorgeously written piece on the insatiable desire for more regardless of what we have, the nature of Western/American excess at the expense of all others, and loneliness. DFW is not a nice guy in this piece and sometimes seems oblivious to the precarious nature of the crew, but by turns is willing to call out how much of a bastard he can be.
"Phone inquiries about the origins of Professor Con- roy's essaymercial yielded two separate explanations:
(l)From Celebrity Cruises' P.R. liaison Ms. Wiessen (af- ter a two-day silence that I've come to understand as the P.R. equivalent of covering the microphone with your hand and leaning over to confer with counsel):
"Celebrity saw an article he wrote in Travel and Leisuremaga- zine, and they were really impressed with how he could create these mental postcards, so they went to ask him to write about his cruise experience for people who'd never been on a cruise before, and they did pay him to write the article, and they really took a gamble, really, because they had to pay him whether he liked it or not, and whether they liked the article or not, but ... [dry little chuckle} obviously they liked the article, and he did a good job, so that's the Mr. Conroy story, and those are his perspectives on his experience."
(2) From Frank Conroy (with the small sigh that precedes a certain kind of weary candor):
I love buying and reading these types of books. Boats, yachts, historical events and books about the sea are generally excellent. If there are sequels in your series, I would love to read them.
The beauties of owning the books of important authors cannot be discussed. I'm looking forward to your new books.
For friends who want to read this book, I leave the importance of reading a book here. I wish good luck to the sellers and customers...
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This might be the most articulate and in-depth critique of everything wrong with the cruise ships, extended onto modern society as a whole. It is written from the perspective of an observer aware of his participation and the impossibility of differentiating himself from the nasty crowds. It's also hilarious.
"The toilet's flush produces a brief but traumatizing sound, a kind of held high-B gargle, as of some gastric disturbance on a cosmic scale. Along with this sound comes a suction so awesomely powerful that it's both scary and strangely comforting; your waste seems less removed than hurled from you, and with a velocity that lets you feel as though the waste is going to end up someplace so far away that it will have become an abstraction, a kind of existential sewage-treatment system."
A smart and attentive essay not just about cruises, but more generally speaking about being a Tourist, an American, and a consumer. As someone who's been travelling (although not nearly with as much splendor as DFW in this essay) I've felt a lot of the feelings of unease that Wallace shares in this essay. Even more than that, though, Wallace really examines our incessant wanting, the part of us that constantly needs to be babied, and how easy it is to convince yourself that if you just have a week of everything attended to, everything will be alright. Definitely a great read for travelling because it puts everything in perspective.
A funny (and unfortunately very true) story about what it means to be American. It isn't just about the pitfalls of cruising, although that can be part of it; this is a story about what living in privilege and luxury can do to a person's mind. America may just put us all in a trance from which we become inconsequential, passive "want-ers" whose cravings are never satisfied. Foster Wallace is a genius of language, humor, and emotional depth. There are lessons lurking in this essay/memoir/story which feel hauntingly personal.
Everything I loathe about cruises summed up in only the way David Foster Wallace could. Hilarious and so thought provoking. It was written in 1995 but seems to be even more applicable and relevant today. All I could think of while reading was the space cruise ship from Wall-e. Same thing, different century.
Next time anyone says “how can you hate cruises, you’ve never been on one!” I’m handing them a print out of this.
Read the full-length version of this essay (not the abridged one published in Harper's) during the very first cruise trip of my life. While I largely agree with the absurdity of being pampered to death by staffs paid to love you, the author's "shopping-list" log of events and quips is not my favorite.
My first DFW read. Thoughtfully brought to light latent feelings of despair that I'd nearly forgotten I had. Irreverent, endlessly witty voice, which I'm quite envious of. Reminds me of the early-aughts Car and Drivers I so enjoyed reading through a kid. I wish this sort of incising cultural critique was more common today, or maybe I wish I just knew where to find it.
Tagged to read for a long time, finally got around to check it out on a slow day. Being a fan of cruising I found DFW's take very entertaining. I too have experienced many of his joys, disgusts, surprises and eccentricities. From the strange bathrooms, impeccable service and odd clientele it's a fun read.
en kort rapport på den unikt senkapitalistiska fenomenet lyxkryssningar. lyssnade på den o den va ba typ 2h lång o rätt kul.
den mest intressanta delen var kanske när han diskuterade fallet av någon som hade tagit självmord på en lyxkryssning och undersökte huruvida kryssningsmiljön hade påverkan på det.
Dare I say... My favourite essay of all time. Gave this a re-read after not having looked at it for a few years and it really is just such a terrific piece of writing. It's had such a massive impact on the way I write and read and that kind of acerbic wit I love. I know DFW = not a great person and I certainly don't love everything he wrote but this piece will always be famous to me.
Having never actually been on a cruise during my life, I'm quite satisfied to have experienced a cruise and can happily never consider partaking in such organized activity.
Fans of White Lotus should read this essay on David Foster Wallace’s experience on a seven day luxury cruise. It was very well written and quite funny; I laughed out loud several times.