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If You're Freaking Out, Read This: A Coping Workbook for Building Good Habits, Behaviors, and Hope for the Future
Is everything terrible? Is your life going to shit and your brain's convinced you that you're utterly screwed? Have you found yourself in a dark place with no way out? Are you having trouble holding onto reality and getting out of the dumps? All of the above? Sounds like you're freaking out.Simone has been there. During her hardest days, she made herself a book to remind her, page by page, exactly what to do to get herself out of danger. She shares her template here so that you can create your own guide suited to your needs, along with pages and pages of workbook exercises to help. She also shares the vital skills and affirmations that she's learned over the years for managing her mental health and remembering her reasons to live. Even if you can't afford a therapist or hospital stay and the people around you are anything but helpful, you can still use those same tools to get better. It can be difficult sometimes to acknowledge to yourself that you're worth it. It might be downright unbearable. But you know what? You're so WORTH IT! And this book is here to help you realize it.With a foreword by the one-and-only Dr. Faith.
160 pages, Paperback
Published January 14, 2020
17 people are currently reading
232 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
June 18, 2022
Very easy to follow and very practical ways to reduce anxiety and depression. Some self-help books include way too much stuff and if you are suffering from anxiety or depression the last thing you want to do is read a long book about it. This one is concise and to the point. It gives great ways to practice building good habits and coping skills to help you through the freak outs whether you are having a little one or a big one.
May 30, 2020
Simone wrote the book because she couldn’t find one addressing her issues so she wrote this book from her personal experience of mental issues and what worked for her. Her core principles (that worked for her) are around gratitude, mindfulness, self-compassion and authentic connections with others.
Main points from the book:
Take a moment to breath. By being here you are participating to the world and that is enough. Breath and pay attention to the way you are breathing so you can be present and calm yourself. Visualize your depression/ (other issues that you are ready to sit with) and invite it to sit with you and drink tea and have a peaceful moment. Radical acceptance is a tool to help you be in the moment and accept reality in order to begin to overcome negative feelings about it (dialectical behavior therapy DBT) that entails acknowledging that the situation did indeed happen. Doesn’t mean you have to forgive or be ok with it but accept it happened, accept the things you can’t control and really be. With this concept, you can learn to look at your past objectively without allowing it to trigger you the way it once did. Writing things down might also help to accept things or be able to talk about them.
Feel your body - engage in physical activities that you enjoy will boost mood and provide safe bubble to go into when needed. You don’t have to push yourself hard - doing min helps and make you feel good, eg you can just go to yoga class and lay down entire time, just walk on treadmill for 10m, go in the nature and be mindful of what you see.
Practice saying yes. Think of every new social interaction as practice. Saying yes to new social opportunities can be difficult but overtime it gets more comfortable. When you say yes - you meet new people. You can just approach groups of people at event and just randomly joining their conversations. Some will be awkward about it but don’t get discouraged - you will find some suitable people.
Talking about trauma with people made the author a little but freer. But you don’t have to be always 100% open to everyone. You don’t need to defend or explain your experience. You don’t have to share when you don’t feel like it or you don’t feel safe doing so. Sometimes talking about your trauma can trigger another person’s trauma.
People can’t read your mind so you should share with them instead of expecting people to read your mind and think they don’t care if they can’t figure out what is going on. Use vocabulary to express your feelings in a rational way. It is important to communicate your feelings and needs explicitly. Implying or hinting to things won’t be very effective for long because things are bound to get mixed up.
Forgive yourself, admit your mistakes to yourself and to other people (this is part of personal growth). Address the rude things you are telling yourself and balance them with some true and positive self-talk, eg “I am terrible at x” you should balance it with “I can’t wait to continue getting better at x”. It’s important to come up with balancing thought that you will believe in the moment of negative self-talk. It helps writing them down so you can read them in case you forget it at the moment.
Gratitude lists - it is good to write one every morning to recharge yourself for the day. If you have dark days when you have nothing to write about in your gratitude list, you don’t have to beat yourself up for it, instead you can see what you wrote before and try to get hopeful that you will get through this storm.
Happy jar - at the end of each day you can write on piece of paper one happy thing from the day and put it in the jar. Then you can start searching throughout the day for good things to write down later. And when you look for good stuff, you see more good stuff.
Address grief - allow the pain to flow through you - in and out of you. For Simon, it helped to write letters to the people she lost or source of her pain.
Not knowing how to do something doesn’t mean your incompetent so you can ask for help. Don’t expect you will do it perfect on your first try.
Main points from the book:
Take a moment to breath. By being here you are participating to the world and that is enough. Breath and pay attention to the way you are breathing so you can be present and calm yourself. Visualize your depression/ (other issues that you are ready to sit with) and invite it to sit with you and drink tea and have a peaceful moment. Radical acceptance is a tool to help you be in the moment and accept reality in order to begin to overcome negative feelings about it (dialectical behavior therapy DBT) that entails acknowledging that the situation did indeed happen. Doesn’t mean you have to forgive or be ok with it but accept it happened, accept the things you can’t control and really be. With this concept, you can learn to look at your past objectively without allowing it to trigger you the way it once did. Writing things down might also help to accept things or be able to talk about them.
Feel your body - engage in physical activities that you enjoy will boost mood and provide safe bubble to go into when needed. You don’t have to push yourself hard - doing min helps and make you feel good, eg you can just go to yoga class and lay down entire time, just walk on treadmill for 10m, go in the nature and be mindful of what you see.
Practice saying yes. Think of every new social interaction as practice. Saying yes to new social opportunities can be difficult but overtime it gets more comfortable. When you say yes - you meet new people. You can just approach groups of people at event and just randomly joining their conversations. Some will be awkward about it but don’t get discouraged - you will find some suitable people.
Talking about trauma with people made the author a little but freer. But you don’t have to be always 100% open to everyone. You don’t need to defend or explain your experience. You don’t have to share when you don’t feel like it or you don’t feel safe doing so. Sometimes talking about your trauma can trigger another person’s trauma.
People can’t read your mind so you should share with them instead of expecting people to read your mind and think they don’t care if they can’t figure out what is going on. Use vocabulary to express your feelings in a rational way. It is important to communicate your feelings and needs explicitly. Implying or hinting to things won’t be very effective for long because things are bound to get mixed up.
Forgive yourself, admit your mistakes to yourself and to other people (this is part of personal growth). Address the rude things you are telling yourself and balance them with some true and positive self-talk, eg “I am terrible at x” you should balance it with “I can’t wait to continue getting better at x”. It’s important to come up with balancing thought that you will believe in the moment of negative self-talk. It helps writing them down so you can read them in case you forget it at the moment.
Gratitude lists - it is good to write one every morning to recharge yourself for the day. If you have dark days when you have nothing to write about in your gratitude list, you don’t have to beat yourself up for it, instead you can see what you wrote before and try to get hopeful that you will get through this storm.
Happy jar - at the end of each day you can write on piece of paper one happy thing from the day and put it in the jar. Then you can start searching throughout the day for good things to write down later. And when you look for good stuff, you see more good stuff.
Address grief - allow the pain to flow through you - in and out of you. For Simon, it helped to write letters to the people she lost or source of her pain.
Not knowing how to do something doesn’t mean your incompetent so you can ask for help. Don’t expect you will do it perfect on your first try.
January 26, 2020
This was an exceptional read/listen! I love how she combined coping mechanisms from several types of therapy as opposed to focusing on just one. Despite studying psychology and reading way too many self-help books, I’m definitely walking away from this with a ton of new coping mechanisms and general ideas for improving my self care rituals.
January 25, 2020
This book is honest, concise, helpful, and is clearly derived from the author’s firsthand experience dealing with difficult emotions. You can feel the authenticity pour off the pages as it’s written in the author’s actual handwriting. It’s brave and compassionate, and full of useful and accessible coping strategies. It’s essentially 10 years of therapy in a paperback
for > $10.
for > $10.
April 23, 2024
A really heavy workbook that shows reality as it is and does not paint the world in pink. You feel shitty? It's okay let's work with that and help you.
May 18, 2021
This was a great, concise introduction to many of the copings skills one might learn in therapy. I think it does a lovely job of not being a self-help book, as well as not being a memoir, and in that way its really unique! As someone who hates self-help books, I genuinely enjoyed this book and how not-preachy it was.
That being said, this served really as an introduction to topics and skills that deserve so much more space than was available in this book. Simone covers a ton of topics very quickly and some of her points / arguments were a little muddy and I got a bit lost.
However, overall, this was a great quick read and has helped direct my attention to some topics I'd like to look into more, and some productive skills to bring into therapy and everyday practice.
That being said, this served really as an introduction to topics and skills that deserve so much more space than was available in this book. Simone covers a ton of topics very quickly and some of her points / arguments were a little muddy and I got a bit lost.
However, overall, this was a great quick read and has helped direct my attention to some topics I'd like to look into more, and some productive skills to bring into therapy and everyday practice.
December 20, 2020
The advice and exercises are good, particularly in light of the events of this year. It all comes from the author's lifelong struggle with depression and it can get a little dark at times, but it is always good to acknowledge that sometimes it's OK to not be OK.
The downsize for me is that I don't like workbooks because I don't write in books, but that's on me. Also, there are many areas in a print that is supposed to look like handwriting, I guess, but it really just makes it hard to read.
The downsize for me is that I don't like workbooks because I don't write in books, but that's on me. Also, there are many areas in a print that is supposed to look like handwriting, I guess, but it really just makes it hard to read.
March 30, 2021
Some things were really distracting about this book. There were a lot of “hand written” pages I found really difficult to read, especially in ebook form, and a lot of word/grammar errors on those pages that made it even more difficult to understand. However, there’s a lot of good content in it and a lot of info that could help people.
June 15, 2021
A pretty decent guide to helping build habits and strategies that can be used to cope on difficult days.
Much of the advice is not particularly new, but it is arranged to be accessible and easy to follow for someone building up their "coping toolkit"
Much of the advice is not particularly new, but it is arranged to be accessible and easy to follow for someone building up their "coping toolkit"
March 30, 2022
This was an honest read, filled with personal experiences, a lot of techniques to apply to whatever the young adult life (and not only) might throw at you. My only regret is that I had the e-reader version and highlighting is not as facile.
September 14, 2020
Wonderful Book.
Great book for people to understand mental health.
Great book for people to understand mental health.
January 15, 2021
A little heavier than I was anticipating, but a quick read and helpful tips. Loved the font/handwriting!
March 15, 2021
Stuff I've seen a hundred times before but I like the way it's presented and the author's language is very natural, which makes it easy to relate to.
November 21, 2021
A quick start guide for coping strategies, my only criticism is that the Table of Contents should have titles for quick reference in the audiobook.
November 12, 2019
Imagine you are pushed off a dock into a lake and though you can swim you are disoriented, cannot focus or think. Then you inhale a mouthful of water, and you’re freaking out and believe you’re going to die. Then a life preserver appears and you grab it, hold on and immediately feel safer. Your panic subsides, you take deep clear breaths then look around and see the shoreline just 10 feet away. You slowly make your way to land and are relieved that the crisis is over. You wonder who pushed you and where that life preserver came from.
Simone DeAngelis has felt your panic.
In her workbook, If You’re Freaking Out, Read This, Ms. DeAngelis describes 10 fundamental coping skills. She shares how to build inner strength and resilience using visual aids and hands-on exercises to develop habits that lead to conscious, positive behavior choices.
Every coping skill is presented clearly with examples of how to understand, use and bring the practice of these skills into daily life. Practicing and living these skills provide processes to cope with life’s unexpected challenges. This book is not about NOT freaking out; it’s about learning to hold on to your true self and being empowered to make positive choices.
One of the 10 skills includes step-by-step exercises to understand, examine and choose guiding values and how to incorporate these into your life with specific examples. Identifying and understanding core values provide a road map of the life you want to live and how to choose behaviors that will guide you to be the person you are and want to be. Ms. DeAngelis shares the five values she has chosen to live by.
Another coping practice is Thankfulness. Ms. DeAngelis provides ways to bring gratitude into your life with very specific actions steps to learn how to be aware, feel, and express gratitude. Simply saying “Thank you” and keeping “Happy Jars” are two of the methods Ms. DeAngelis uses to practice gratitude every day.
Positive behaviors that arise from these lessons can be as specific and simple as: “If you want to hurt yourself buy flowers instead”; or fundamental such as constructing a daily routine that includes practicing gratitude and self-compassion. She says to practice the skills daily; the skills you practice will become a habit, like brushing your teeth.
To internalize these skills and make them your own the author encourages you to make lists, write notes, talk with trusted friends, talk to yourself, read supporting books and workbooks. She lists resources she has used to supplement and enhance understanding these and other skills.
Simone DeAngelis has practiced and does practice these coping techniques and knows how to recognize a coming storm and that in time of crisis, a life preserver will be within reach.
Simone DeAngelis has felt your panic.
In her workbook, If You’re Freaking Out, Read This, Ms. DeAngelis describes 10 fundamental coping skills. She shares how to build inner strength and resilience using visual aids and hands-on exercises to develop habits that lead to conscious, positive behavior choices.
Every coping skill is presented clearly with examples of how to understand, use and bring the practice of these skills into daily life. Practicing and living these skills provide processes to cope with life’s unexpected challenges. This book is not about NOT freaking out; it’s about learning to hold on to your true self and being empowered to make positive choices.
One of the 10 skills includes step-by-step exercises to understand, examine and choose guiding values and how to incorporate these into your life with specific examples. Identifying and understanding core values provide a road map of the life you want to live and how to choose behaviors that will guide you to be the person you are and want to be. Ms. DeAngelis shares the five values she has chosen to live by.
Another coping practice is Thankfulness. Ms. DeAngelis provides ways to bring gratitude into your life with very specific actions steps to learn how to be aware, feel, and express gratitude. Simply saying “Thank you” and keeping “Happy Jars” are two of the methods Ms. DeAngelis uses to practice gratitude every day.
Positive behaviors that arise from these lessons can be as specific and simple as: “If you want to hurt yourself buy flowers instead”; or fundamental such as constructing a daily routine that includes practicing gratitude and self-compassion. She says to practice the skills daily; the skills you practice will become a habit, like brushing your teeth.
To internalize these skills and make them your own the author encourages you to make lists, write notes, talk with trusted friends, talk to yourself, read supporting books and workbooks. She lists resources she has used to supplement and enhance understanding these and other skills.
Simone DeAngelis has practiced and does practice these coping techniques and knows how to recognize a coming storm and that in time of crisis, a life preserver will be within reach.
July 21, 2025
Started off a bit slow, and I was going to give up when I saw DBT mentioned a few times honestly ! Can't bear it. I did carry on reading though, and I'm glad I did, this is in my top 5 self help books for sure
September 18, 2020
Solid basic skills for when you are raw and hurting.
March 25, 2023
super good and helpful
May 10, 2024
Excellent and helpful audiobook.
April 21, 2025
Might even buy a copy for my own bookshelf. Really loved this uplifting, practical guide.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews