英國上流人士都在讀的伯爵家書：外交官爸爸寫給兒子的80封信

by Philip Dormer Stanhope, 望海 (Translator), 切斯特菲爾

■暢銷全球200年的經典之作！
　　18世紀中期，切斯特菲爾德伯爵歷任英國愛爾蘭總督和國務大臣等要職，雖然在政治上成績斐然，但是他可以被後人記住的，卻不是他的政治成就，而是他給兒子菲利普‧斯坦霍普留下的書信。從這些信件中，可以看出伯爵對兒子心靈成長的諄諄教導，他的許多忠告，直到今天仍然被視為真知灼見。

　　■歐美國家最受推崇的紳士指南，美國國會圖書館／《牛津世界經典》推薦必讀！
　　本書凝結的都是年輕人步入社會和走向成功必須學會的人生哲理，正如伯爵在信中對兒子說：「這是你初涉世道和踏入社會必須掌握的一些秘密。我希望自己在你這個年紀的時候，就懂得這些道理和準則。我付出三倍的代價，花費五十年的時間，才得到這些人生的真諦。在此，我毫不吝惜地將它傳授給你，希望你從中獲得啟示和教益。」

　　■有史以來，最受推崇的家書——使人脫胎換骨的道德和禮儀全書！
　　本書談到的學習、禮儀、處世、成功等話題，都是現在年輕人關注的話題，也是家長們教育孩子的關鍵。在當時那個年代，本書曾經以手抄本形式在歐洲貴族階層中廣為流傳，被視為「一部可以使孩子步入高貴和脫胎換骨的神奇家書」。如今，伯爵的時代已經離我們遠去，但是書

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Philosophy, Classics, Biography, Politics, Classic Literature

265 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 14, 2014

About the author

Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield PC KG was a British statesman and man of letters.

A Whig, Lord Stanhope, as he was known until his father's death in 1726, was born in London, and educated at Cambridge and then went on the Grand Tour of the continent. The death of Anne and the accession of George I opened up a career for him and brought him back to England. His relative James Stanhope, the king's favourite minister, procured for him the place of gentleman of the bedchamber to the Prince of Wales.

Reviews

[شمس]

My object is to have you fit to live; which, if you are not, I do not desire that you should live at all. 18.12.1747

When we meet at Spa, next July, we must have a great many serious conversations; in which I will pour out all my experience of the world, and which, I hope, you will trust to, more than to your own young notions of men and things. You will, in time, discover most of them to have been erroneous; and, if you follow them long, you will perceive your error too late ; but if you will be led by a guide, who, you are sure, does not mean to mislead you, you will unite two things, seldom united, in the same person; the vivacity and spirit of youth, with the caution and experience of age. (26.3.1754)

You know I have often told you, that my affection for you was not a weak, womanish one; and, far from blinding me, is makes me but more quick sighted, as to your faults; those it is not only my right, but my duty, to tell you of; and it is your duty and your interest to correct them. —To His Son, 9.10.1746

I therefore most earnestly desire, for your own sake . . . at least six hours every morning, uninterruptedly, may be inviolably sacred to your studies. (12.9.1749)

__________
For it signifies nothing to read a thing once, if one does not mind and remember it. —To His Son, 24.07.1739

To know the thoughts of others is of use, because it suggests thoughts to one’s self, and helps one to form a judgement; but to repeat other people’s thoughts, without considering whether they are right or wrong, is the talent only of a parrot, or at most a player. —To his Son, Thursday

There is no surer sign in the world of a little, weak mind, than inattention. Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well; and nothing can be well done without attention. —To His Son, 10.03.1746

I have often, of late, reflected what an unhappy man I must now have been, if I had not acquired in my youth some fund and taste of learning. What could I have done with myself at this age, without them? I must, as many ignorant people do, have destroyed my health and faculties by sotting away the evenings; or, by wasting them frivolously in the tattle of women’s company, must have exposed myself to the ridicule and contempt of those very women; or, lastly, I must have hanged muyself, as a man once did, for weariness of putting on and pulling off his shoes and stockings every day. My books, and only my books, are now left me: and I daily find what Cicero says or learning to be true: ‘Haec studia (says he) adolescentiam alunt, senectutem oblectant, secundas res ornant, adversis persugium ac solatium præbent; delectant domi, non impediunt foris ; pernoctant nobiscum, peregrinantur, rusticantur/. —To His Son, 4.10.1746

I am, at this time, acquainted with many elderly people, who have all passed their whole lives in the great world, but with such levity and inattention, that they know no more of it now, than they did at fifteen. —To His Son, 4.10.1746

Remember to make a great difference between companions and friends; for a very complaisant and agreeable companion may, and often does, prove a very improper and a very dangerous friend. —To His Son, 9.10.1747

Have a real reserve with almost everybody; and have a seeming reserve with almost nobody; for it is very disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not to be so. —To His Son, 9.10.1747

Never think of entertaining people with your own personal concerns or private affairs; though they are interesting to you they are tedious and impertinent to everybody else besides that, one cannot keep one’s own private affairs too secret. —To His Son, 16.10.1747

Having mentioned laughing, I must particularly warn you against it: and I could heartily wish, that you may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and in manners; it is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy at silly things; and they call it being merry. In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill−bred, as audible laughter. True wit, or sense, never yet made anybody laugh; they are above it: They please the mind, and give a cheerfulness to the countenance. But it is low buffoonery, or silly accidents, that always excite laughter; and that is what people of sense and breeding should show themselves above . . . a plain proof, in my mind, how low and unbecoming a thing laughter is: not to mention the disagreeable noise that it makes, and the shocking distortion of the face that it occasions. (9.3.1748)

But it is by no means so with the mind, which, at your age particularly, requires great and constant care, and some physic. Every quarter of an hour, well or ill employed, will do it essential and lasting good or harm. It requires, also, a great deal of exercise, to bring it to a state of health and vigour. (1.4.1748)

People are, in general, what they are made, by education and company, from fifteen to five-and-twenty; soncisder well, therefore, the importance of your next eight or nine years; your whole depends upon them. (1.4.1748)

Were most historical events traced up to their true causes, I fear we should not find them much more noble or disinterested than Luther's disappointed avarice; and therefore I look with some contempt upon those refining and sagacious historians, who ascribe all, even the most common events, to some deep political cause; whereas mankind is made up of inconsistencies, and no man acts invariably up to his predominant character. The wisest man sometimes acts weakly, and the weakest sometimes wisely. Our jarring passions, our variable humors, nay, our greater or lesser degree of health and spirits, produce such contradictions in our conduct, that, I believe, those are the oftenest mistaken, who ascribe our actions to the most seemingly obvious motives; and I am convinced, that a light supper, a good night's sleep, and a fine morning, have sometimes made a hero of the same man, who, by an indigestion, a restless night, and rainy morning, would, have proved a coward. Our best conjectures, therefore, as to the true springs of actions, are but very uncertain; and the actions themselves are all that we must pretend to know from history. That Caesar was murdered by twenty−three conspirators, I make no doubt: but very much doubt that their love of liberty, and of their country, was their sole, or even principal motive; and I dare say that, if the truth were known, we should find that many other motives at least concurred, even in the great Brutus himself. (26.4.1748)

I have always observed that the most learned people, that is, those who have read the most Latin, write the worst; and that distinguishes the Latin of gentleman scholar from that of a pedant. A gentleman has, probably, read no other Latin than that of the Augustan age; and therefore can write no other, whereas the pedant has read much more bad Latin than good, and consequently writes so too. He looks upon the best classical books, as books for school−boys, and consequently below him; but pores over fragments of obscure authors, treasures up the obsolete words which he meets with there, and uses them upon all occasions to show his reading at the expense of his judgment. (27.9.1748)

The height of abilities, is to have volto sciolto and pensieri stretti; that is, a frank, open, and ingenuous exterior, with a prudent and reserved interior. (19.10.1748)

Loud laughter is the mirth of the mob, who are only pleased with silly things; for true wit or good sense never excited a laugh, since the creation of the world. (19.10.1748)

Form yourself, with regard to others, upon what you feel pleases you in them. (18.11.1748)

Do not mistake, and think that these graces which I so often and so earnestly recommend to you, should only accompany important transactions, and be worn only 'les jours de gala'; no, they should, if possible, accompany every, the least thing you do or say; for, if you neglect them in little things, they will leave you in great ones. I should, for instance, be extremely concerned to see you even drink a cup of coffee ungracefully, and slop yourself with it, by your awkward manner of holding it. (18.11.1748)

I am also very well pleased to hear that you have such a knowledge of, and taste for curious books and scarce and valuable tracts. This is a kind of knowledge which very well becomes a man of sound and solid learning, but which only exposes a man of slight and superficial reading; therefore, pray make the substance and matter of such books your first object, and their title−pages, indexes, letter, and binding, but your second. It is the characteristic of a man of parts and good judgment to know, and give that degree of attention that each object deserves. Whereas little minds mistake little objects for great ones, and lavish away upon the former that time and attention which only the latter deserve. (6.12.1748)

In my opinion, a warm and lively genius, with a cool constitution, is the perfection of human nature. (30.12.1748)

Due attention to the inside of books, and due contempt for the outside, is the proper relation between a man of sense and his books. (10.1.1749)

but remember, in economy, as well as in every other part of life, to have the proper attention to proper objects, and the proper contempt for little ones. A strong mind sees things in their true proportions; a weak one views them through a magnifying medium, which, like the microscope, makes an elephant of a flea: magnifies all little objects, but cannot receive great ones. (10.1.1749)

A man of sense soon discovers, because he carefully observes, where, and how long, he is welcome; and takes care to leave the company, at least as soon as he is wished out of it. Fools never perceive where they are either ill−timed or ill-placed. (20.7.1749)

Englishman. Well, then, good night to you; you have no objection, I hope, to my being drunk to−night, which I certainly will be.
Stanhope. Not in the least; nor to your being sick tomorrow, which you as certainly will be; and so good night, too.
. . .
Leave them to their ignorance and to their dirty, disgraceful vices. They will severely feel the effects of them, when it will be too late. Without the comfortable refuge of learning, and with all the sickness and pains of a ruined stomach, and a rotten carcass, if they happen to arrive at old age, it is an uneasy and ignominious one. (12.9.1749)

Proverbial expressions and trite sayings and the flowers of the rhetoric of a vulgar man. (27.9.1749)

The world is taken by the outside of things, and we must take the world as it is; you or I cannot set it right. (26.11.1749)

Words are the dress of thoughts; which should no more be presented in rags, tatters, and dirt, than your person should. (25.1.1750)

Few men can be men of pleasure, every man may be a rake. (8.11.1750)

As for Operas, they are essentially too absurd and extravagant to mention. (23.1.1752)

But I am now privileged by my age to taste and think for myself, and not to care what other people think of me in those respects; an advantage which youth, among its many advantages, hath not. It must occasionally and outwardly conform, to a certain degree, to establish tastes, fashions, and decisions. A young man may, with a becoming modesty, dissent, in private companies, from public opinions and prejudices: but he must not attack them with warmth, nor magisterially set up his own sentiments against them. Endeavor to hear, and know all opinions; receive them with complaisance; form your own with coolness, and give it with modesty. (23.1.1752)

However, I bear my misfortune better than I believe most other people would; whether from reason, philosophy, or constitution, I will not pretend to decide. If I have no very cheerful, at least I have no melancholy moments. Books employ most of my hours agreeably; and some few objects, within my own narrow circle, excite my attention enough to preserve me from ennui. (To Solomon Dayrolles, 18.10.1752)

I go very little into company, being very little fit for any. (19.10.1753)

This is the season of well-bred lies indiscriminately told by all to all. (To Solomon Dayrolles, 1.1.1754)

I remember so long ago as when I was at Cambridge, whenever I read pieces of eloquence (and indeed they were my chief study) whether ancient or modern, I used to write down the shining passages, and then translate them, as well and as elegantly as ever I could; if Latin or French, into English; if English, into French. This, which I practiced for some years, not only improved and formed my style, but imprinted in my mind and memory the best thoughts of the best authors. (12.2.1754)

Human nature is the same everywhere, the modes only are different. (To His Godson and Heir, to be delivered after his own death)

[Paul O'Leary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eighteenth century English aristocrat obsesses over his son's "parts". If this lead-in appeals to you then you may have the wrong idea. Chesterfield's letters are mostly addressed to his son, though a smattering are addressed to others concerning his son or current affairs pertaining to the time & person to whom each were written. Each of the former is for the purpose of furthering his son's education of the world. The story is an old one, even in the 18th century. Chesterfield, though an adept political insider, felt he never "went as far as he should have" and vowed to himself to give his son all the advantages that he lacked. His contacts were open to him. Education was provided through the best available tutors. His purse was liberally accessed within shrewd reason. And, speaking of shrewd reason, most importantly, Chesterfield took upon himself to provide his son with a thoroughly practical education for getting on in this world. He is very specific that this isn't just familial obligation followed through with diligence. Chesterfield states unequivocally, "I want the rays of your rising to reflect new luster upon my setting light". C could apply pressure, indeed. "My object is to make you fit to live;which, if you are not, I do not desire that you should live at all." All topics are covered, all bases stomped upon repeatedly: from speaking, to appearance, to dancing. Not all recommendations are entirely mercenary and mean. Chesterfield actually has a very modern view of the salubriousness of exposing the young to multiple languages as a prompting to proficiency in them later in life. He is also very modern in his reluctance to utilize physical punishment, though it does enter in(18th century, you know). C's focus is on how to impress superiors for promotion, utilizing peers for personal benefit, and keeping proper distance from, while maintaining a working relationship with inferiors. The man of parts(educated & endowed) was thusly nothing without fine and gracious manners. Samuel Johnson, angered over a promise of support for his dictionary which didn't materialize, savaged Chesterfield for his ethics fit for a dance master. Smollett felt of C's character in a similar fashion. In truth, much of the advice C offered is far from PC. On this International Woman's Day I take time to quote Chesterfield as to the feminine: "Women...are only children of a larger growth; they have an entertaining tattle and sometimes wit; but for solid, reasoning good-sense, I never knew in my life one that had it, or who reasoned or acted consequentially for four and twenty hours together". Sadly, his son fell far short of the mark Chesterfield notched for him. The last tenth of the letters are addressed to C's godson who eventually replaces C's son as a potential political/spiritual heir, later to become his legal heir after C's son dies. The godson fared no better and it is rather sad to hear the lessons repeated, with the same sorry result, as C has entered old age. One walks away with the impression that these letters were published for the purpose of assisting some other "son" out there who might finally benefit from the lessons given by a master of the everyday-political-practical world. Given, received, but not actualized in either intended case in Chesterfield's lifetime.

[Smiley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of the notable books because I have known its title and eminence since I studied in my secondary school years, that is, I came across its fame as those interesting letters from a celebrated father to his son while reading a column revealing a letter sent from a Thai student studying law in England to publish in a weekly magazine aiming at improving students’ English knowledge. The letters have long since become famous because one day in 1754 the father in question, Lord Chesterfield, notoriously neglected Samuel Johnson, an unknown lexicographer who kept waiting to meet him in person regarding his “Plan for a Dictionary of the English Language” addressed to him as a prospective patron in 1747 (Boswell 1980, pp. 185, 12). That incident immensely disappointed and displeased Dr Johnson, therefore, his opinion on the letters despised by him reached a verdict as for teaching “morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing-master” (back cover).

Reading these letters simply requires one’s interest and persistence due to a few reasons; first, they were written in 1737 onwards so some parts of their writing style, grammar, vocabulary, etc. belonged to unfamiliar English written some 277 years ago; and, second, Lord Chesterfield obviously enjoyed training his son to be more fluent in French so it is a bit intimidating for those who do not readily know French in his letters. Of course, most of the French phrases, sentences, etc. are asterisked and translated into English in its Explanatory Notes section, but not all. For example:

No woman ever had more than she has le ton de la parfaitement bonne compagnie, les manieres engageantes, et le je ne scais quoi qui plait. (p. 209)
…, saying to the master or mistress, ceci est de mon departement; je m’en charge; avouez que je m’en acquitte a merveille. (p. 218)
Or is it des petites societies, moins bruiantes, mains pas pour cela moins agreables? (p. 222)
etc.

A few extracts primarily focusing on the letters to his son that follow should interest some of my Goodreads friends so that, I hope, they would literally entice such avid readers to find or borrow a copy from any good public or university library to read. Please take your time and enjoy.

1) The sure way to excel in any thing, is only to have a close and undissipated attention while you are about it; and then you need not be half the time that otherwise you must be: for long, plodding, puzzling application, is the business of dulness; but good parts attend regularly, and take a thing immediately. … (p. 26)
2) Never maintain an argument with heat and clamour, though you think or know yourself to be in the right; but give your opinion modestly and coolly, which is the only way to convince; and, if that does not do, try to change the conversation, by saying, with good humour, ‘We shall hardly convince one another; nor is it necessary that we should, so let us talk of something else.’ (p. 58)
3) Speak the language of the company you are in; speak it purely, and unlarded with any other. Never seem wiser, nor more learned, than the people you are with. Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket: and do not merely pull it out and strike it; merely show that you have one. If you are asked what o’clock it is, tell it; but do not proclaim it hourly and unasked, like the watchman. (p. 67)
etc.

However, when I came across two of Lord Chesterfield’s expressions, namely, “words are the dress of thoughts” (p. 200) and “Style is the dress of thoughts” (p. 219) written in his two letters dated January 25, O.S. 1750 and January 21, O.S. 1751, these instantly remind me of another one written in “On Style” by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), that is: “words are the clothing of our thoughts” (Peacock 1947, pp. 57-58) which, I think, is the source of a Thai motto: “ภาษาเป็นอาภรณ์แห่งความคิด” as nobly translated and exhibited in a demonstration school. Therefore, I guess he might have paraphrased them after Swift, they are probably not his original ideas.

References:
Boswell, J. Life of Johnson. R.W. Chapman ed. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1980.
Peacock. W. ed. Selected English Essays. London: Oxford University Press, 1947.

[Jackson Cyril · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr Johnson declared these letters to contain "the morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing-master"; I confess that these letters aren't nearly as much fun. But they do allow us to see the world as a British gentleman of the 18th century did.

[Steven Meyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This most self-conscious man’s unself-conscious self-portrait is rich and highly entertaining. George III’s Secretary of State, Philip Stanhope (1694-1773), fourth Earl of Chesterfield, embodied the beau ideal of courtesy and, in his letters to his son, raised at a distance because he was illegitimate, wrote the book on manners and deportment.

Civility, Chesterfield sees, is desirable not because it is Christ-like, but because it drips like oil into the gearing of the way the world works, giving the benefit of greater smoothness. Because his precepts are nailed to this reality, they hold good. Looking unblinkingly at how men and women behave, he recommends that his son plan his conduct in order to promote his interests. Chesterfield is shrewd, to the point, observant, energetic and without hypocrisy. (His son made only a middling success as a diplomat and kept his private life secret from his father, perhaps resenting that the elder’s ample love came in the form of advice, however good; only his early death informed Chesterfield of the existence of a daughter-in-law and grandsons.)

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kind of sad. Goes to show that smart parents can have mediocre children and no amount of advice will help.

[Muaz Jalil · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting read and refreshingly modern in outlook. It's a series of letter written by Lord Chesterfield to his illegitimate son Phillip, mostly instructions in etiquette and art of living. For instance he mentions pride in rank is useless and one should instead focus on merit. Also argues against unnecessary debate, stating that everyone is entitled to their opinion and it is not necessary that you have to convert others. Then in one place he states thay insult is deadlier than injury, people forgive injury but not insult; one should not brag about oneself, it is tedious and useless to others: either you are worthy in which case you don't need to or you are not worthy and hence it is a lie. Very good read. Apparently it created quite a scandal when it was released. I found the letters tender and frank.

[Cee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear old Philip just really wanted his illegitimate son to clean his teeth and become England's most successful orator.

[Rainier Moreno-Lacalle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book packed with father's genuine affection to his son, practical advice, medieval etiquettes, and 16th century politics. Many of the ideas in this book can be considered obsolete but in general the eerie feeling that your fathers loves you and wants you to be successful can be felt while reading this book.

[Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the only self help book you need. Find 'The Best of [Chesterfield's] Letters'. I revisit it more often than I have any other book. Practical, brilliant, timeless. This is 1 in top 3 books of all times for me.

[Ties · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed the letters. They are repetitive but offer an insight and inspiration that I don't encounter often.
The typos in the version I read were quite annoying though and they showed a lack of editorial attention when they converted this boom.

[Ray Almeida · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book indeed. I read this book initially because some historical figures read this book themselves and were perhaps able to glean some life lessons from it. I used this book as a tool to better understand culture and priorities of those times. Though the people mentioned in the letters were generally all upper class citizens, I was amazed at the emphasis on learning and the perfecting of manners. The importance of letters and communication at the time was also notable, showing that they were very much appreciated and divulged many important pieces of information. The presence and prolific interest in foreign languages and affairs was also a key aspect of the time and place. The detail in which Chesterfield covered decorum and virtue was very interesting, and even helpful to todays interactions and expectations. Though perhaps people may be down on some of Chesterfield's generalizations for men and women, I think they are mostly accurate, despite any cultural rot that might have taken place since then. Humans are all similar in what may please and displease them. The exceptions generally prove the rule. The idea of truly moderating one's attitude and monitoring other's is astounding and a great study for people who wish to understand more of society's linguistic patterns.

Overall, though some parts may seem a bit repetitive or overbearing, the information Chesterfield offers is seemingly timeless in some particular ways, and is well worth a read.

[Patrizia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ho voluto leggere questo libro per averlo trovato citato da Elinor Glyn come una sorta di 'manuale', fondamentale per l'educazione di un'aspirante 'donna di mondo'. Non posso dire che sia stata una delusione, perché contiene un sacco di informazioni sulla storia del sei-settecento (le lettere risalgono, più o meno, al 1750), ma non sono riuscita ad apprezzare le varie prediche che Lord Chesterfield infligge al giovane figlio illegittimo, in giro per le corti d'Europa per la sua formazione di diplomatico. Per non parlare di quel che si dice delle donne! Il premuroso papà ha cura di aprire i suoi 'arcana' al ragazzino, spiegandogli che, benché sia necessario riverire e onorare le varie dame, non ci si deve aspettare da loro neppure un briciolo di cervello... E questo, in un periodo in cui molte intelligenze femminili 'illuminavano' gran parte dell'alta società degli stati europei.

[Amelia Jacobson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read for True Lives course. Will analyze on Tuesday.
This guy was really full of himself, placed a lot of pressure on his son, and overall stated the same advice repeatedly yet with different words.

[April · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave the book four stars due to it’s depth of thought. It was a slow read however and it took me a long time to get through it. Lord Chesterfield’s last latter was a good summation of his advice for life and a very good ending to his life story.

[Cherries LIN · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read the Chinese translation version
伯爵家書 切斯特菲爾

[Suprada Urval]

Recommended by: Ryan Holiday reading recommendation newsletter

[Ocean Freeman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elegantly written and the content...........well entertaining.

[Don · Rating 4 out of 5]

More proof to my theory that parenting really has not changed througout history.

[Jörmungandr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Makes you behave and live better.

[Blunt Of Mercia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Necessary reading for a Gentleman's education.

[Massimo Piersanti · Rating 5 out of 5]

A series of letters from father to son, guiding him on how to live life and make his way in the world.

There are many parts of the book that I have disagreements with(it was written by an aristocrat in the 1700s), but it’s hard to find a better manual on how to schmooze and be conscious of your reputation.

At its core, its a father passing on his wisdom on how to be successful and live a moral life. Despite its failings, the book contains enough useful life lessons to get a 5 star review.

[Dan Dumitrescu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re.

Trying to educate your son through letters is not exactly my kind of parenting but taking in consideration this happened in the XVIII century is a great opportunity to understand and compare the modus vivendi and unfortunately I discovered that civilisation didn't made much progress in the last three hundred of years.

The education starts from "Sapere est principium et fons" (Knowledge is the foundation and the source) in order to obtain "suaviter in modo, fortiter in re" (gentle in manner, strong in performance) and it goes thru all the classics and off course the peculiarities of that century in Europe.

I should have read it when I was in my 20's, maybe i would "Amoto quaeramus seria ludo" (pursue serious matters, put aside play) at an earlier stage in life.

[Grace Harwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The ways are generally crooked and full of turnings, sometimes strewed with flowers, sometimes choked up with briars; rotten ground and deep pits frequently lie concealed under a smooth and pleasing surface; all the paths are slippery, and every slip is dangerous." (p. 143) This is from just one of the letters of advice Lord Chesterfield sent to his illegitimate son, Philip Stanhope. Writing to him from when he was 7 years old, these letters are full of instructions in order to make this son a better person and a successful politician ("My object is to have you fit to live; which, if you are not, I do not desire that you should live at all."

As you can imagine, the "advice" in these letters (from this statesmen and politician who - like most statesmen and politicians - was as bent as a nine bob note) deal mainly with how to read mankind, how to get one over the next person, how to get what you want by dissembling and flattery, and how to treat women (who are, after all, according to this chap "just children of a larger growth").

When one reads the letters and charts Chesterfield's relationship with his son through them, one gets the sense that this poor lad must have literally dreaded the postman arriving. Whilst reading them, my overriding sensation was one of relief that my own father is a retired tax inspector (and not Lord Chesterfield). Chesterfield, during the early years of his son's life, alternately cajoles and threatens him into shape - wanting, it soon becomes clear, the impossible from the poor lad ("I fear the want of that amiable and engaging je ne sçais quoi"). Indeed, from the excellent introductory notes to this book, the poor boy did not enjoy that "engaging je ne scais quoi"). By all accounts, he was awkward and shy (or possibly just terrified of making a false step - his father had spies EVERYWHERE watching his every move). His son married in secret and spent most of his life trying to live as an ordinary chap. His maiden speech as a politician was a disaster. And this is where it gets interesting; because as everyone else was condemning him for this, at this point in time, Chesterfield defends him. His letter, consoling him over this disastrous speech, is almost kind. Then there is the relationship with his grandsons (when he finds out he has them that is - after his own son's death). He clearly dotes on them - not such a bad chap then?

I really recommend reading these letters for the fascinating insight into familial relationships of the upper-classes in the eighteenth-century; and also to make your own mind up about the relationship between this cold-hearted (?) man and his son.

[Karen-Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not originally intended for publication, the celebrated and controversial correspondences between Lord Chesterfield and his son Philip, dating from 1737, were praised in their day as a complete manual of education, and despised by Samuel Johnson for teaching "the morals of a whore and the manners of a dancing-master." Reflecting the political craft of a leading statesman and the urbane wit of a man who associated with Pope, Addison, and Swift, Lord Chesterfield's Letters reveal the author's political cynicism, his views on good breeding, and instruction to his son in etiquette and the worldly arts. The only annotated selection of this breadth available in paperback, these entertaining letters illuminate the fascinating aspects of eighteenth-century life and manners.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed Lord Chesterfield's Letters immensely. I am a little embarrassed to say that I had not heard of them until quite recently while reading Andre Aciman's Out of Egypt. The letters are written by Lord Chesterfield to his illegitimate son beginning in the late 1730s up to the son's death in the late 1760s. There are other letters mixed in to various acquaintances of Lord Chesterfield. I found these letters to be intelligent and well worth the time. There are extensive notes to help with the Latin and cultural references. I am tempted to say these letters are the male counterpart to Madame de Sévigné's letters to her daughter but I have not read those letters and so will not make the comparison.

[Zach · Rating 3 out of 5]

"A friend of yours and mine has very justly defined good-breeding to be, the result of much good sense, some good nature, and a little self-denial for the sake of others, and with a view to obtain the same indulgence from them. Taking this for granted (as I think it cannot be disputed), it is astonishing to me that anybody who has good sense and good nature (and I believe you have both), can essentially fail in good-breeding."

[Luotenrati · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I would have had a father such as Lord Chesterfield. Taking every pain and every precaution necessary to form a perfect human being for the world. Overall the book gives very useful hints as to social etiquette even in the modern day. It goes over the principles of appropriate conduct and of the ways of achieving it.

[Max Levitin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Прекрасный пример морально-эстетического труда, созданного одним из виднейших английских ораторов и мыслителей середины 18го века. Кроме всего прочего, послужит прекрасным примером по воспитанию юношества.

[foundfoundfound · Rating 4 out of 5]

some penetrating stuff. not quite the ogre dr johnson made him out to be. like alan clark, an unsuccessful politician who wasn't quite self-aware enough. understood others. didn't quite understand how he was regarded by others, which is the essence of politics.