What do you think?
Rate this book
A Dream About Lightning Bugs: A Life of Music and Cheap Lessons
From genre-defying icon Ben Folds comes a memoir reflecting on art, life and music that is as nuanced, witty and relatable as his cult classic songs.
Ben Folds is an internationally celebrated musician, singer-songwriter and former frontman of the alternative rock band, Ben Folds Five, beloved for songs such as ‘Brick’, ‘You Don’t Know Me’, ‘Rockin’ the Suburbs’ and ‘The Luckiest’.
In A Dream About Lightning Bugs, Folds looks back at his life so far in a charming, funny and wise chronicle of his artistic coming of age, infused with the wry observations of a natural storyteller. He opens up about finding his voice as a musician, becoming a rock anti-hero, and hauling a baby grand piano on and off stage for every performance.
From growing up in working class North Carolina amid the race and class tensions that shaped his early songwriting, to painful life lessons he learned the hard way, he also ruminates on music in the digital age, the absurdity of life on the road, and the challenges of sustaining a multi-decade, multi-faceted career in the music business.
A Dream About Lightning Bugs embodies what Folds has been singing about for years: Smile like you’ve got nothing to prove because it hurts to grow up, and life flies by in seconds.
Ben Folds is an internationally celebrated musician, singer-songwriter and former frontman of the alternative rock band, Ben Folds Five, beloved for songs such as ‘Brick’, ‘You Don’t Know Me’, ‘Rockin’ the Suburbs’ and ‘The Luckiest’.
In A Dream About Lightning Bugs, Folds looks back at his life so far in a charming, funny and wise chronicle of his artistic coming of age, infused with the wry observations of a natural storyteller. He opens up about finding his voice as a musician, becoming a rock anti-hero, and hauling a baby grand piano on and off stage for every performance.
From growing up in working class North Carolina amid the race and class tensions that shaped his early songwriting, to painful life lessons he learned the hard way, he also ruminates on music in the digital age, the absurdity of life on the road, and the challenges of sustaining a multi-decade, multi-faceted career in the music business.
A Dream About Lightning Bugs embodies what Folds has been singing about for years: Smile like you’ve got nothing to prove because it hurts to grow up, and life flies by in seconds.
352 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 30, 2019
390 people are currently reading
5513 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 694 reviews
October 6, 2019
Ben Folds--as you probably know if you're interested in his autobiography/memoir--is a singer-songwriter who became popular in the 1990s as part of the band Ben Folds Five. He's well-known for his piano skills, vocals, and songwriting. He's also had a somewhat tumultuous personal life, with multiple marriages that ended in divorce. This memoir covers his childhood and his fame with Ben Folds Five and his solo career, up until the relative present.
"This is a book about what I know. Or what I think I know. It's about music and how it has framed and informed my life and vice versa. About the stumbles, falls, and other brilliant strokes of luck that brought me here."
I discovered Ben Folds Five in college via my roommate/best friend, and I've been a fan ever since. I was excited to read this, but I've gotta admit: it was a slog. I basically forced myself to finish. I've always sort of thought of Ben Folds as a bit arrogant, so that may have clouded some of my reading of this autobiography. It certainly didn't help dissuade me of that opinion.
For me, the best parts were when Folds was talking naturally about his life and story. His childhood was interesting and it was really no surprise that he was a musically obsessed, somewhat irreverent kid. It was intriguing to see the various paths that led him to Ben Folds Five and stardom.
I did not enjoy--at all--the part where he felt the need to impart forced, preachy lessons about life and music. Maybe if I was more of a music person (as in, I played it versus listened to it) the music lessons would have been of interest. It felt like an editor said, "Ben, every few chapters you have to make sure the reader learns something." And he diligently and forcefully made sure we did. But the point of the book seemed to be that he was a screw up, who got where he was halfway by accident, so the whole lessons thing seemed awfully preachy and fake.
The better pieces were funny anecdotes--Folds playing as a one-man polka band and winding up doing a private gig for an elderly couple, where the husband had a wooden leg. Folds meeting a then-unknown Keith Urban. How he met Robert and Darren of Ben Folds Five. I was disappointed how much he skipped over as he became a more famous musician. We get a lot about his childhood, his various tries at college, and his musical attempts up until Ben Folds Five. He does talk about the formation of Ben Folds Five and how it felt to suddenly become so famous. But then, so much of the detail dwindles. He alludes to how the band might have had some tension, but the actual breakup, via email, gets a few sentences. Even his many marriages and his associated emotional turmoil gets glossed over quite a bit.
So, for me, I was left wishing for more with this one. It's a good quick brush-over of Ben Folds' life. There are some cheesy, slightly pompous "life lessons" inserted. You get a few funny stories among all this and the backstory behind a few songs: that, to me, was the good stuff. Otherwise, it was a bit of a drag, and I didn't finish really knowing much more about the real Ben Folds than I did when I came in. Rather disappointing. 2.5 stars.
I received a copy of this book from Random House-Ballantine and Netgalley in return for an honest review.
Blog ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Instagram ~ PaperBackSwap ~ Smashbomb
"This is a book about what I know. Or what I think I know. It's about music and how it has framed and informed my life and vice versa. About the stumbles, falls, and other brilliant strokes of luck that brought me here."
I discovered Ben Folds Five in college via my roommate/best friend, and I've been a fan ever since. I was excited to read this, but I've gotta admit: it was a slog. I basically forced myself to finish. I've always sort of thought of Ben Folds as a bit arrogant, so that may have clouded some of my reading of this autobiography. It certainly didn't help dissuade me of that opinion.
For me, the best parts were when Folds was talking naturally about his life and story. His childhood was interesting and it was really no surprise that he was a musically obsessed, somewhat irreverent kid. It was intriguing to see the various paths that led him to Ben Folds Five and stardom.
I did not enjoy--at all--the part where he felt the need to impart forced, preachy lessons about life and music. Maybe if I was more of a music person (as in, I played it versus listened to it) the music lessons would have been of interest. It felt like an editor said, "Ben, every few chapters you have to make sure the reader learns something." And he diligently and forcefully made sure we did. But the point of the book seemed to be that he was a screw up, who got where he was halfway by accident, so the whole lessons thing seemed awfully preachy and fake.
The better pieces were funny anecdotes--Folds playing as a one-man polka band and winding up doing a private gig for an elderly couple, where the husband had a wooden leg. Folds meeting a then-unknown Keith Urban. How he met Robert and Darren of Ben Folds Five. I was disappointed how much he skipped over as he became a more famous musician. We get a lot about his childhood, his various tries at college, and his musical attempts up until Ben Folds Five. He does talk about the formation of Ben Folds Five and how it felt to suddenly become so famous. But then, so much of the detail dwindles. He alludes to how the band might have had some tension, but the actual breakup, via email, gets a few sentences. Even his many marriages and his associated emotional turmoil gets glossed over quite a bit.
So, for me, I was left wishing for more with this one. It's a good quick brush-over of Ben Folds' life. There are some cheesy, slightly pompous "life lessons" inserted. You get a few funny stories among all this and the backstory behind a few songs: that, to me, was the good stuff. Otherwise, it was a bit of a drag, and I didn't finish really knowing much more about the real Ben Folds than I did when I came in. Rather disappointing. 2.5 stars.
I received a copy of this book from Random House-Ballantine and Netgalley in return for an honest review.
Blog ~ Twitter ~ Facebook ~ Instagram ~ PaperBackSwap ~ Smashbomb
May 30, 2019
Having been a fan of Folds for over two decades I wasn't sure what to expect from this. Folds has at various points in his life been an open book and others not so much. He can also write joke songs while playing with an orchestra.
What we end up in the book is mostly a straight forward, serious book. His wit is there, but he really hits on what's important to him. He goes into music theory without getting overly technical. He talks about some low points in his life (if you're looking for sex and drugs you won't find much here). He admits when he was wrong and isn't afraid to share his insecurities.
While compared to a lot of musician biographies this one is pretty tame, it's the heart that comes through here. You have someone who was passionate about their music but also kept their moral code in place. It's been a while since I've read a biography I didn't want to end.
What we end up in the book is mostly a straight forward, serious book. His wit is there, but he really hits on what's important to him. He goes into music theory without getting overly technical. He talks about some low points in his life (if you're looking for sex and drugs you won't find much here). He admits when he was wrong and isn't afraid to share his insecurities.
While compared to a lot of musician biographies this one is pretty tame, it's the heart that comes through here. You have someone who was passionate about their music but also kept their moral code in place. It's been a while since I've read a biography I didn't want to end.
July 2, 2019
Folds knocks it out of the park. Who knew he was as good a book writer as he is a songwriter? Cheap lessons have never been so resonant - or so funny.
August 21, 2019
SPoilers!!!!!!!! I love Ben Folds. Ben is a truly gifted songwriter, but book author, not so much. This is the most boring rock and roll memoir I’ve ever read. Nothing really happens. Wait that’s not true. Lots of incredible and big things happen, Unfortunate, Ben just just know how to get into it. The birth of his twins which were in danger was summarized in a sentence. Really!!!??? A fourth wife is never mentioned by Name...she’s there and then she’s gone in a few pages! The band breaks up over e-mail in a matter of minutes and it’s like...oh well. Seriously!?
You never really feel like your gaining anything from him. He’s starts off earnest enough with a small family history, but ultimately I don’t feel like I’ve learned anything new about his life here in this book. It comes across like someone made him an offer to write s book and he made himself do it. This does not read like HE wanted to write this book or maybe he did, but got a quick lesson in how incredibly hard that is.
You never really feel like your gaining anything from him. He’s starts off earnest enough with a small family history, but ultimately I don’t feel like I’ve learned anything new about his life here in this book. It comes across like someone made him an offer to write s book and he made himself do it. This does not read like HE wanted to write this book or maybe he did, but got a quick lesson in how incredibly hard that is.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 5, 2019
First, I'll tell you to listen to this, not read it.
Ben Folds memoir is vulnerable and humble. He isn't afraid to take us deep into his experience and what he thought of it all.
I loved every bit of it.
Ben Folds memoir is vulnerable and humble. He isn't afraid to take us deep into his experience and what he thought of it all.
I loved every bit of it.
April 19, 2020
I'm pretty sure the purpose of this memoir is not to make Ben Folds' audience like him less, but, um... that sure seemed like what he was going for. I've seen Ben in concert more than any other artist and have always professed my love of him, his music, and his awkwardness. But- damn. My first mistake was accessing this book via audiobook. I made this choice 1- because I'm a commuter and can power through audiobooks 100x faster than reading, 2- because, while some authors do their novels a horrible disservice by narrating their own audiobooks (I'm looking at you, Sharon Draper. You're excused, Philip Pullman), this usually adds a personal touch and relatability in a memoir. Plus, Ben's hilarious and engaging.
Well, Ben either hates his own book, or hated the fact he was expected to read it, because his narration was brutal. No attempt at all to alter his tone as if he were speaking or telling a story. He sounded like a bored school kid standing up and reading aloud for the class, counting down the seconds until he could sit down and resume his nap. This, in conjunction with story after story of Ben admitting that he'skind of an ass, makes it harder to love the guy.
The writing itself is mediocre at best, and it's kind of astonishing that, with how many downright crazy stories he told, he managed to make this as boring as it was. Don't get me wrong, there are some parts that are charming, funny and interesting. It made me both laugh out loud and truly inspired some deep thoughts. The introduction regarding the book's namesake, for example, I found to be rather brilliant. But I left feeling like this was a small fraction of what it could or should have been.
It's clear to anyone tangentially familiar with Ben Folds' music that structure and organization are not his forte, or even his goal. And that is clearly reflected in the book. The book migrates from relatively detailed stories regarding his family's background and his childhood stories, to huge epic plot points in his adult life that are completely glossed over. His band breaking up, his twins almost dying, his fourth marriage and subsequent divorce... each given only a fragmented mention- not even a full sentence is dedicated to these sorts of events. Ben has had a crazy life, and has some truly mind-blowing stories to tell, but they're listed in this memoir more like a checklist: this happened, then that happened, then this again. He acts like he's being vulnerable in continuing to admit 'that was a dumb thing to do' or 'she hated me and I deserved it,' but his emotional investment stays at that superficial level, and he comes across as completely detached. He interjects this disjointed rattling off of life events with even more disjointed lectures on completely random topics. I went on this tour, I broke that bone, now here's 3 pages on how musicians can improvise music. It should be seen as a mismatched compilation of various thoughts; the audience should let go of the notion that there's going to be some common thread that ties this all together.
It's clear from the book that Ben doesn't really take anyone else's advice, and so I'm guessing that's why the book is the way it is. That Ben wanted to write it as is, and gave no shits when editors said things like 'Why are you wasting so much time hounding in this one point? This is not our goal here..." or "Hey, this huge, life-imploding thing just happened, why don't we give it more than one line? Do you want to talk about how that made you feel or something? Surely you weren't actually as blasé as you're acting about it now?" or "Hey, do you think we can spin or edit some of these stories so some readers still like you at the end of this?" But no. I think this is the ultimate product of "Ben does what he wants and thinks he knows better."
I keep volleying between 2 and 3 stars, because I rate books in the sense that 2 starred books, I don't think, should be read or recommended. And I do think there really are some hidden gems buried in this book, and it wasn't a waste of time reading it. But I'm docking the star because, I'm not mad. I just disappointed.
Well, Ben either hates his own book, or hated the fact he was expected to read it, because his narration was brutal. No attempt at all to alter his tone as if he were speaking or telling a story. He sounded like a bored school kid standing up and reading aloud for the class, counting down the seconds until he could sit down and resume his nap. This, in conjunction with story after story of Ben admitting that he's
The writing itself is mediocre at best, and it's kind of astonishing that, with how many downright crazy stories he told, he managed to make this as boring as it was. Don't get me wrong, there are some parts that are charming, funny and interesting. It made me both laugh out loud and truly inspired some deep thoughts. The introduction regarding the book's namesake, for example, I found to be rather brilliant. But I left feeling like this was a small fraction of what it could or should have been.
It's clear to anyone tangentially familiar with Ben Folds' music that structure and organization are not his forte, or even his goal. And that is clearly reflected in the book. The book migrates from relatively detailed stories regarding his family's background and his childhood stories, to huge epic plot points in his adult life that are completely glossed over. His band breaking up, his twins almost dying, his fourth marriage and subsequent divorce... each given only a fragmented mention- not even a full sentence is dedicated to these sorts of events. Ben has had a crazy life, and has some truly mind-blowing stories to tell, but they're listed in this memoir more like a checklist: this happened, then that happened, then this again. He acts like he's being vulnerable in continuing to admit 'that was a dumb thing to do' or 'she hated me and I deserved it,' but his emotional investment stays at that superficial level, and he comes across as completely detached. He interjects this disjointed rattling off of life events with even more disjointed lectures on completely random topics. I went on this tour, I broke that bone, now here's 3 pages on how musicians can improvise music. It should be seen as a mismatched compilation of various thoughts; the audience should let go of the notion that there's going to be some common thread that ties this all together.
It's clear from the book that Ben doesn't really take anyone else's advice, and so I'm guessing that's why the book is the way it is. That Ben wanted to write it as is, and gave no shits when editors said things like 'Why are you wasting so much time hounding in this one point? This is not our goal here..." or "Hey, this huge, life-imploding thing just happened, why don't we give it more than one line? Do you want to talk about how that made you feel or something? Surely you weren't actually as blasé as you're acting about it now?" or "Hey, do you think we can spin or edit some of these stories so some readers still like you at the end of this?" But no. I think this is the ultimate product of "Ben does what he wants and thinks he knows better."
I keep volleying between 2 and 3 stars, because I rate books in the sense that 2 starred books, I don't think, should be read or recommended. And I do think there really are some hidden gems buried in this book, and it wasn't a waste of time reading it. But I'm docking the star because, I'm not mad. I just disappointed.
July 2, 2020
As a lover of music and books, I surprisingly rarely enjoy reading about musicians’ lives. Ben Folds as a songwriter and now book writer is an exception to this rule. His memoir chronicling his childhood through his impressively diverse music career is incredibly poignant and poetic like his lyrics. However, his songs that can shift seamlessly from the beautiful ballad to the profane and irreverent jokes also match his chapters, which capture the same tone. I thought I knew a lot about Folds from his open and honest lyrics where he “poured his heart out,” but apparently there was so much more to learn about this fascinating man! It’s been a great way to revisit his catalog of music through the decades as I made my way through his life in these pages. I just wish I could read more!
August 7, 2021
“What has been good for the music hasn’t always been good for the life”
I listened to this book on Audible. Ben narrates the book and even includes a little bit of piano and bass. It is worth using your monthly audible credit on this because I have never experienced an audiobook like this before.
I am a Big Ben (it autocorrected to capital letters which I find amusing) Folds fan and I wanted to review this with little bias as possible. Ben has created a fantastic auto-biography of his early years, Ben Folds Five (BFF) and post BFF. I found Ben’s recount to be honest reflection of his career so far. He really called himself out in some areas which was nice to see. I enjoyed listening to the creation of BFF albums and the Rocking the Suburbs album (one that will be always special in my heart).
I looked at other reviews on here about Ben not being more open and honest about his relationships. This seems to be a common occurrence in low reviews. This is true, he rarely spoke about his relationships outside Anna Goodman: I do believe this is out of respect for his children and that Anna was a big part of Ben’s early career.
I really have never been interested in Ben’s life and I didn’t know much about him. I think this made it even more thrilling.
Ben broke down music creation and creativity (I will always appreciate a pianist because I could never do this). If you are interested in music and even if you aren’t a BF fan, this will be an interesting book for you.
I listened to this book on Audible. Ben narrates the book and even includes a little bit of piano and bass. It is worth using your monthly audible credit on this because I have never experienced an audiobook like this before.
I am a Big Ben (it autocorrected to capital letters which I find amusing) Folds fan and I wanted to review this with little bias as possible. Ben has created a fantastic auto-biography of his early years, Ben Folds Five (BFF) and post BFF. I found Ben’s recount to be honest reflection of his career so far. He really called himself out in some areas which was nice to see. I enjoyed listening to the creation of BFF albums and the Rocking the Suburbs album (one that will be always special in my heart).
I looked at other reviews on here about Ben not being more open and honest about his relationships. This seems to be a common occurrence in low reviews. This is true, he rarely spoke about his relationships outside Anna Goodman: I do believe this is out of respect for his children and that Anna was a big part of Ben’s early career.
I really have never been interested in Ben’s life and I didn’t know much about him. I think this made it even more thrilling.
Ben broke down music creation and creativity (I will always appreciate a pianist because I could never do this). If you are interested in music and even if you aren’t a BF fan, this will be an interesting book for you.
August 17, 2019
I wanted more from this book. Maybe because I like Ben Folds so much as a songwriter, I expected more depth in his memoir. The first third of the book, about his childhood and first attempt at college I found interesting. However in the later 2/3's of the book we don't get much of Folds's emotional life. He was married multiple times, yet we learn little about his relationships. For me, there ultimately wasn't enough "there" there.
December 23, 2020
Having always loved Ben Folds' quirky lyrics, I was looking forward to reading a whole book in that style. A Dream About Lightning Bugs: A Life of Music and Cheap Lessons did not disappoint.
Written with the honesty and humour of the 90's piano based rocker that he is, Folds takes the reader through the numerous - and often repeated - 'cheap lessons' of a life lived obsessed with music and pushing the boundaries. I really enjoyed the insights into the inspiration of some of my favourite Ben Folds Five/Ben Folds songs as well as the (positive and negative) impact that 'real life' has on creativity and vice versa.
With many a deep insight along the way this (somewhat long) quote is my favourite, the sentiment of which will stick with me...
“I’m amazed when someone sees the sculpture inside a rock while the rest of us just see a rock. I say “hell yes” to the architects who imagine the spaces we will one day live in. And a round of applause for the stylist who sees what hair to cut to make me look respectable for a couple of weeks. I bow low and fast in the direction of those who paint amazing things on the ceilings of chapels, make life-changing movies, or deliver a stand-up routine that recognizes the humor in the mundane. What all those artists have in common is that they point out things that were always there, always dotting the sky. Now we can take it in and live what we missed.”
Written with the honesty and humour of the 90's piano based rocker that he is, Folds takes the reader through the numerous - and often repeated - 'cheap lessons' of a life lived obsessed with music and pushing the boundaries. I really enjoyed the insights into the inspiration of some of my favourite Ben Folds Five/Ben Folds songs as well as the (positive and negative) impact that 'real life' has on creativity and vice versa.
With many a deep insight along the way this (somewhat long) quote is my favourite, the sentiment of which will stick with me...
“I’m amazed when someone sees the sculpture inside a rock while the rest of us just see a rock. I say “hell yes” to the architects who imagine the spaces we will one day live in. And a round of applause for the stylist who sees what hair to cut to make me look respectable for a couple of weeks. I bow low and fast in the direction of those who paint amazing things on the ceilings of chapels, make life-changing movies, or deliver a stand-up routine that recognizes the humor in the mundane. What all those artists have in common is that they point out things that were always there, always dotting the sky. Now we can take it in and live what we missed.”
December 5, 2021
Due to a shipping problem with my long pre-ordered book (bookstore's fault, not Ben's or the publisher's), I resorted to checking out the audio copy on the local library's app. Thank God I did! Ben read it himself, and his imitation of his father alone made it good choice. He also included musical notes when appropriate,which is super helpful for people like me who like the music but don't know more than the most basic music terminology.
I admittedly am a rabid Ben Folds fan, and as such probably enjoyed this more than the average reader might. Even knowing that, I intend to buy a copy for my husband's retired jazz-musician grandpa... Or at least read him excerpts about Ben's time at music school for jazz percussion. And look out, Secret Santa matches this year! I truly think there are things for every body who has emotions to enjoy, and cannot think of anybody that I wouldn't recommend this to.
This book was so much fun. I had a great time listening to it and am thrilled to have received my physical copy today (two days after the release). I laughed. I cried. I woke my husband for surprise 1 a.m. sex. 10/10; will read again!
I admittedly am a rabid Ben Folds fan, and as such probably enjoyed this more than the average reader might. Even knowing that, I intend to buy a copy for my husband's retired jazz-musician grandpa... Or at least read him excerpts about Ben's time at music school for jazz percussion. And look out, Secret Santa matches this year! I truly think there are things for every body who has emotions to enjoy, and cannot think of anybody that I wouldn't recommend this to.
This book was so much fun. I had a great time listening to it and am thrilled to have received my physical copy today (two days after the release). I laughed. I cried. I woke my husband for surprise 1 a.m. sex. 10/10; will read again!
August 24, 2019
This book is quintessential Folds in many ways, at turns irreverent and pensive— sometimes within the span of a single sentence; just as listening to one of his albums (say, Whatever and Ever or Sound of the Life) straight through will yield a very mixed emotional experience, so too will this book have you both chuckling and wistful in a single sitting. There are several praiseworthy elements to this memoir, most notably the alacrity and honesty with which Folds analyzes some of the hardest experiences of his life. He does a fine job of tying particular events to the birth of inspiration and creativity for his music, all while providing the reader, with grace and wit, the salient moments and details in his history which propelled his career just as they exploded his personal life.
I find, though, that Folds is better in poetry than prose. While I find many of his lyrics extremely moving, brilliantly crafted, and exceedingly clever, I get the sense that he tapped into that same vein when writing this book. But I don't think it translated too well into a three-hundred page work. Pithy fragments with robust craftsmanship and delicate inspiration are the lifeblood of much poetry and music, but the memoir calls for a different approach. And Folds didn't quite seem to understand the nature and form of the memoir; many times, he tried too hard to write quirky one-liners and memorable sayings (some of which succeeded, some of which flopped), which doesn't work unless one is Oscar Wilde. And, the inclusion of most of his lyrics throughout the book were random at best — oftentimes, they were a detraction, an interruption, to the flow of his narrative.
Above all, though, I felt the book simply lacked depth. Everything seemed to be a surface play, even when emotions and self-growth were the topics to hand. Things were recounted, but never really made purposeful for the reader. The word "existential" was used at points while never really feeling existential, and that is a true shame. In a memoir, one is ironing out one's life for the reader: tracing a trajectory not simply material but spiritual. And while his memoir does a good and entertaining job of hashing out the whens, wheres, hows, and whats of Folds's life, it usually lacks a strong sense of the why. If to write a memoir is to bare one's soul, this memoir feels dissembling, then — as if the author is still partially concealed behind the curtain. He does come out occasionally, though, as when he writes about creating songs such as "Evaporated" and "Still Fighting It"; in those passages we see the thoughtful, vulnerable songwriter that is just as much a part of Folds as the one who flips the bird to the audience while shouting, "Kiss my ass!". Yet the book catered much more to this flippant and immature persona (which I mostly love), and failed to reveal the intellectual empath that I believe to be present. Where is the depthful thought in this memoir when compared to his song "I'm Not the Man"? To me, one shines a light inwardly to illuminate the soul, while the other is a good story told at a cocktail party. This is to say: there is a schism in personae that went unbridged in the book that I can't quite overlook. Perhaps, as he relates in one of the later chapters, he is still hiding somewhat behind crass humor and a certain stage persona created long ago. I don't know. But I found this aspect of the whole thing deeply unsatisfying.
I guess, ultimately, I hold Folds as capable of more — capable of anything. And that includes taking off the performer's mask fully so that we see the human face beneath.
I find, though, that Folds is better in poetry than prose. While I find many of his lyrics extremely moving, brilliantly crafted, and exceedingly clever, I get the sense that he tapped into that same vein when writing this book. But I don't think it translated too well into a three-hundred page work. Pithy fragments with robust craftsmanship and delicate inspiration are the lifeblood of much poetry and music, but the memoir calls for a different approach. And Folds didn't quite seem to understand the nature and form of the memoir; many times, he tried too hard to write quirky one-liners and memorable sayings (some of which succeeded, some of which flopped), which doesn't work unless one is Oscar Wilde. And, the inclusion of most of his lyrics throughout the book were random at best — oftentimes, they were a detraction, an interruption, to the flow of his narrative.
Above all, though, I felt the book simply lacked depth. Everything seemed to be a surface play, even when emotions and self-growth were the topics to hand. Things were recounted, but never really made purposeful for the reader. The word "existential" was used at points while never really feeling existential, and that is a true shame. In a memoir, one is ironing out one's life for the reader: tracing a trajectory not simply material but spiritual. And while his memoir does a good and entertaining job of hashing out the whens, wheres, hows, and whats of Folds's life, it usually lacks a strong sense of the why. If to write a memoir is to bare one's soul, this memoir feels dissembling, then — as if the author is still partially concealed behind the curtain. He does come out occasionally, though, as when he writes about creating songs such as "Evaporated" and "Still Fighting It"; in those passages we see the thoughtful, vulnerable songwriter that is just as much a part of Folds as the one who flips the bird to the audience while shouting, "Kiss my ass!". Yet the book catered much more to this flippant and immature persona (which I mostly love), and failed to reveal the intellectual empath that I believe to be present. Where is the depthful thought in this memoir when compared to his song "I'm Not the Man"? To me, one shines a light inwardly to illuminate the soul, while the other is a good story told at a cocktail party. This is to say: there is a schism in personae that went unbridged in the book that I can't quite overlook. Perhaps, as he relates in one of the later chapters, he is still hiding somewhat behind crass humor and a certain stage persona created long ago. I don't know. But I found this aspect of the whole thing deeply unsatisfying.
I guess, ultimately, I hold Folds as capable of more — capable of anything. And that includes taking off the performer's mask fully so that we see the human face beneath.
December 17, 2020
As someone who loves Ben Folds, I tore through this book. If you’re not a fan, you should first dig up his albums and listen. If you’re still not a fan, this one may not be as enjoyable but there remains some good insight on creativity, life and growing up.
August 23, 2023
This one's one to listen to, if you can!
July 7, 2020
Reread 6/11/2020
So I did get around to picking up the audiobook of this, and I think I honestly liked that experience a little bit less. Mostly I love hearing celebrities narrate their own books, but I just don't think Ben Folds has the most expressive reading voice. While I was listening, it was like I could visualize him just sitting in a studio reading off the page. It was a bit dry. Not terrible, but I put off listening to it for a few days because I realized he was putting me to sleep a bit.
I guess just disappointing all around, but not terrible. Still a solid three stars and I'm still glad I gave it a go.
***
I want to start this review by saying that I'm a huge fan of Ben Folds. He was my first concert at age 13 (thanks to my sister) so for literally half my life I've been listening to his music. I was so excited to pick up this book and came away largely disappointed. It's not that this book was bad by any means, it's just I had such high expectations and this book didn't hit them.
I would recommend this book to anyone who's a fan of Ben Folds and already interested in this book. I did learn more about his life and his music career, and I found a lot of the information itself quite interesting. I'm quite glad I read it, but also glad I got it from the library instead of picking it up full price from a bookstore like I was considering.
One of the things I loved about this book was how his personality shined through. The way he wrote sounded like the way he talks. I love the way he discussed his life and his past mistakes and didn't try to gloss over them. He'd say point blank, this was a crappy, immature, selfish thing I did. But he also didn't gloss over the fact that a number of those crappy things helped his career. One theme throughout the book was that what's been good for his music career hasn't always been good for his personal life (a paraphrased line from one of his songs).
But it fell flat for me in several regards. First, while I liked the themes, a lot of them seemed forced and hammered in. He sounded very much in sections like he was trying to teach you something, but it wasn't a profound lesson or often anything that needed paragraphs devoted specifically to it. I'd rather he have just focused on himself and his own life rather than lessons for the reader.
I also felt rather disconnected from him. I enjoy memoirs because so often you get such a close perspective of the person's life. You learn so much about them and their relationships and the way they think and live day to day. There was a little of that, especially early on, but this book was heavily focused on his music career specifically. He skipped over a lot of his personal relationships or just mentioned them very briefly. It's not that I wanted all the sordid details of his divorces, but I just wanted more of his life. I never felt close to him in this book, and that's what I'm really looking for in memoirs.
I think someone who's a musician (and also a fan of Ben Folds, of course) would probably enjoy this book more than me. I don't really understand music in the sense of creating it. I quite like listening to it, but I can discuss it or think about it the way I can literature. A lot of his discussion on music in this didn't mean a whole lot to me because of that. Which I totally don't blame him for, I was just looking for a more personal focused memoir and that wasn't what this book was trying to do.
At times it felt like he was focusing on kind of surface level points about his career that the majority of his fans would already know. There were full chapters on both Rock this Bitch and The Fake Album, and it just felt kind of unnecessary in a book that's already intended for fans. He wasn't doing deep dives into basic subjects, just a chapter explaining what they were and how they came to be. Apart from those two specific examples, that felt like how he covered most of the topics in this book. I always wanted him to get more personal and more in depth, and take more time with these subjects. He talked about his mental health at the very end for a page or two and that was the first time in this entire book about his life that he mentioned having panic attacks. I just wanted more.
It also felt more like chronological vignettes than a single cohesive narrative. Each chapter was a few pages about a specific topic that only sometimes connected to the next chapter in the story. It's not a style I particularly enjoy. I much prefer longer form narratives and this felt a little choppy to me.
But with all my negatives, this book was still worthwhile to me and I'd still recommend it if you're a fan of his. It's interesting to learn new things about his career and his life. I actually plan on rereading this via audiobook in a few months because I wonder if that will be a better experience, and even if not, I'll be quite happy to listen to Ben Folds talk at me for a few hours. Not a bad book by any means, just not really what I was looking for.
So I did get around to picking up the audiobook of this, and I think I honestly liked that experience a little bit less. Mostly I love hearing celebrities narrate their own books, but I just don't think Ben Folds has the most expressive reading voice. While I was listening, it was like I could visualize him just sitting in a studio reading off the page. It was a bit dry. Not terrible, but I put off listening to it for a few days because I realized he was putting me to sleep a bit.
I guess just disappointing all around, but not terrible. Still a solid three stars and I'm still glad I gave it a go.
***
I want to start this review by saying that I'm a huge fan of Ben Folds. He was my first concert at age 13 (thanks to my sister) so for literally half my life I've been listening to his music. I was so excited to pick up this book and came away largely disappointed. It's not that this book was bad by any means, it's just I had such high expectations and this book didn't hit them.
I would recommend this book to anyone who's a fan of Ben Folds and already interested in this book. I did learn more about his life and his music career, and I found a lot of the information itself quite interesting. I'm quite glad I read it, but also glad I got it from the library instead of picking it up full price from a bookstore like I was considering.
One of the things I loved about this book was how his personality shined through. The way he wrote sounded like the way he talks. I love the way he discussed his life and his past mistakes and didn't try to gloss over them. He'd say point blank, this was a crappy, immature, selfish thing I did. But he also didn't gloss over the fact that a number of those crappy things helped his career. One theme throughout the book was that what's been good for his music career hasn't always been good for his personal life (a paraphrased line from one of his songs).
But it fell flat for me in several regards. First, while I liked the themes, a lot of them seemed forced and hammered in. He sounded very much in sections like he was trying to teach you something, but it wasn't a profound lesson or often anything that needed paragraphs devoted specifically to it. I'd rather he have just focused on himself and his own life rather than lessons for the reader.
I also felt rather disconnected from him. I enjoy memoirs because so often you get such a close perspective of the person's life. You learn so much about them and their relationships and the way they think and live day to day. There was a little of that, especially early on, but this book was heavily focused on his music career specifically. He skipped over a lot of his personal relationships or just mentioned them very briefly. It's not that I wanted all the sordid details of his divorces, but I just wanted more of his life. I never felt close to him in this book, and that's what I'm really looking for in memoirs.
I think someone who's a musician (and also a fan of Ben Folds, of course) would probably enjoy this book more than me. I don't really understand music in the sense of creating it. I quite like listening to it, but I can discuss it or think about it the way I can literature. A lot of his discussion on music in this didn't mean a whole lot to me because of that. Which I totally don't blame him for, I was just looking for a more personal focused memoir and that wasn't what this book was trying to do.
At times it felt like he was focusing on kind of surface level points about his career that the majority of his fans would already know. There were full chapters on both Rock this Bitch and The Fake Album, and it just felt kind of unnecessary in a book that's already intended for fans. He wasn't doing deep dives into basic subjects, just a chapter explaining what they were and how they came to be. Apart from those two specific examples, that felt like how he covered most of the topics in this book. I always wanted him to get more personal and more in depth, and take more time with these subjects. He talked about his mental health at the very end for a page or two and that was the first time in this entire book about his life that he mentioned having panic attacks. I just wanted more.
It also felt more like chronological vignettes than a single cohesive narrative. Each chapter was a few pages about a specific topic that only sometimes connected to the next chapter in the story. It's not a style I particularly enjoy. I much prefer longer form narratives and this felt a little choppy to me.
But with all my negatives, this book was still worthwhile to me and I'd still recommend it if you're a fan of his. It's interesting to learn new things about his career and his life. I actually plan on rereading this via audiobook in a few months because I wonder if that will be a better experience, and even if not, I'll be quite happy to listen to Ben Folds talk at me for a few hours. Not a bad book by any means, just not really what I was looking for.
August 10, 2019
Fun and self-indulgent in the most positive sense. Ben Folds is a musical favorite of mine and it was fun to read about his creativity and perspective. 4.5 stars
March 27, 2023
A very beautiful book. It gives so much insight on Ben Fold’s music which makes me appreciate it in a different way. It was lots of fun to reread leading up to the concert
September 18, 2019
Not usually one for autobiographies, but Ben Folds music has been one of the most major influences of my life.
I was particularly nervous however as with only 10 pages to go there had not been mention yet of my two favourite albums: ‘The Sound of the Life of the Mind’ and ‘So There’. However I was personally buoyed to find out that these albums were the result of Bens first endeavours with personal therapy and retreats into silence. I think it shows.
After reading this I have come to the conclusion that I think Ben Folds would be the kind of guy who would find a lot of resonance with Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye, and while I think this would understandably piss a lot of people off, I take comfort in it.
I was particularly nervous however as with only 10 pages to go there had not been mention yet of my two favourite albums: ‘The Sound of the Life of the Mind’ and ‘So There’. However I was personally buoyed to find out that these albums were the result of Bens first endeavours with personal therapy and retreats into silence. I think it shows.
After reading this I have come to the conclusion that I think Ben Folds would be the kind of guy who would find a lot of resonance with Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye, and while I think this would understandably piss a lot of people off, I take comfort in it.
August 2, 2019
A mix of memoir and self help, A Dream About Lightning Bugs follows Folds from early life to the near present. Reflecting on his formation, career and finally establishing a healthy but challenging day to day life.
At slightly over 300 pages a lot of the length of the book covers Folds formation, from very early life, not hitting the Ben Folds Five years until towards the middle.
It’s great that Folds has been able to continue his career in a more healthy fashion, pursuing projects that interest him and working to support the arts.
However I’m disappointed that the behind the scenes features of the early albums are not sustained as they seem to become just another album. I would’ve loved to hear about Folds’ collaborations with Nick Hornby or YMusic.
Any fan of Folds will find an engaging read, but be left wanting more. As often happens one is left wondering about the other perspectives, like from his ex-wives, bandmates, or collaborators.
At slightly over 300 pages a lot of the length of the book covers Folds formation, from very early life, not hitting the Ben Folds Five years until towards the middle.
It’s great that Folds has been able to continue his career in a more healthy fashion, pursuing projects that interest him and working to support the arts.
However I’m disappointed that the behind the scenes features of the early albums are not sustained as they seem to become just another album. I would’ve loved to hear about Folds’ collaborations with Nick Hornby or YMusic.
Any fan of Folds will find an engaging read, but be left wanting more. As often happens one is left wondering about the other perspectives, like from his ex-wives, bandmates, or collaborators.
August 14, 2019
It's been a good year for rock musician memoirs. This one was just as good as Roger Daltrey's, in my opinion.
Here we have a man who I have been listening to since 1995 and always had a bit of hero worship for. I have had the privilege of meeting him a few times and just blubbered, so I took this book as a real opportunity to "get to know the man" that I've wanted to share a beer with.
And it didn't disappoint.
Full of great stories that I KINDA new, some I didn't know, and, most importantly, great advice for us creative types.
My favorite book of the year so far
Here we have a man who I have been listening to since 1995 and always had a bit of hero worship for. I have had the privilege of meeting him a few times and just blubbered, so I took this book as a real opportunity to "get to know the man" that I've wanted to share a beer with.
And it didn't disappoint.
Full of great stories that I KINDA new, some I didn't know, and, most importantly, great advice for us creative types.
My favorite book of the year so far
February 2, 2020
I never knew my love for Ben Folds could get any bigger but it totally has after reading his book. He is a beautiful and honest writer and doesn’t try to sugarcoat his “cheap lessons” that he has had along the way. I’ve interviewed, photographed, and met this musician a few times now and am thrilled he wrote his book and gave us all a better look into his life and music.
September 24, 2019
I really struggled to finish & be interested in this. While I’ve enjoyed Bens music over the years his book was quite boring. One thing I’ll give him, he’s honest about his shortcomings & owning all the times he’s messed up.
February 23, 2022
I first heard the Ben Folds Five in the early 1990's on Radio Free Hawaii, a plucky independent radio station on Oahu, while I was stationed at Pearl Harbor. The song, "Underground," was unlike anything I had heard before, catchy, funny, self-deprecating, and clever in a way that reminded me a little of Randy Newman. Plucky and unique, just like Radio Free Hawaii. A sucker for piano-based rock and pop, I immediately went out and bought the first Ben Folds Five CD and devoured it over the next several hours, weeks and months (and years and decades). I continued to be a fan, seeing him and his band when they visited the local area, later buying tickets for the entire family to hear his symphony with the San Diego Orchestra, enjoying his insights on the acapella television show "Sing Off," and recording whatever late night show upon which he would occasionally appear.
His unusual piano playing and the style and subject of his lyrics have kept him, if not at the top of the charts, at least within shouting distance of the charts for more than two decades. Now, his first book, an autobiography entitled "A Dream About Lightning Bugs: A Life of Music and Cheap Lessons," features much of the same amusing quirky style as his music. I love this book; I couldn't put it down. His premise is that his life has provided him opportunities to learn a number of "cheap lessons," some of which he took to heart and some he did not. Throughout the book, he highlights these cheap lessons and offers advice to his reader.
I have followed Ben Folds for more than twenty years. Much of his personal story I had heard before, but there are plenty of sections here that were new to me. Portions of this book are hilarious, particularly his miserable time majoring in jazz music (for a semester) at the University of Miami. Other sections are very readable and very strange. He has been married at least four or five times ... It is unclear to me whether he has learned a whole lot from these marriages. (Based on his allusion to alimony, perhaps those weren't cheap lessons, but rather expensive lessons ...)
Throughout this eminently readable book, he intersperses snippets of lyrics within his anecdotes and advice to give the reader a sense of the relationship between his life and music.
Here are several memorable samples from the book.
After failing out of the University of Miami. "Each night I’d come home, put a Stouffer’s in the microwave, and retreat to my room. My poor parents. They thought they’d sent me off for good only four months ago. That had been their first taste of peace and quiet in seventeen years. But now, once again, there was one more shower to wait on before work, one more car in the driveway to move, and once again loud music blasting from my old bedroom. “Maybe turn that down a little?” Papa politely suggested one afternoon through my bedroom door, after a couple of
knocks. He asked about my plans for college.
“Well, if I’m going to go back to Miami, I’m going to need a scholarship,” I said. “So I’m looking through some ROTC brochures and I’m thinking about the Army—”
“You’re fucking high,” he said. And disappeared.
Papa, of course, wasn’t talking about drugs at all. He was just questioning whether I was cut out for scrubbing the barracks toilets with a toothbrush and following orders. I wasn’t Army material, no matter what the recruitment officer had promised me about being in the field band. From the song “Army” (The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, Ben Folds Five), written a good decade later:
Well I thought about the Army
Dad said “son, you’re fucking high”
And I thought, yeah there’s a first for everything
So I took my old man’s advice"
On playing acoustic piano in a rock band. "When I was younger, trying to jam with loud guitars and drums on an unamplified upright piano in various neighborhood garage bands, I couldn’t hear myself at all. The guitars could just turn a volume knob and blow me away. But one day when we played “China Grove” by the Doobie Brothers, while copying the original piano part I discovered the power of sticking the top of the piano range loudly and repetitively. I could finally be heard. And it wasn’t the velocity alone that made the piano speak above the loud garage band. It was also a matter of what range to play, and when. I was like the runt of a litter who learns to bull in to get food. I can fucking stick it in any loud band and make myself heard."
On Songwriting. "Stand in as many pairs of shoes as you can manage, even ones you consider reprehensible or repulsive—even if it’s just for a moment. If you’re going to be a tourist, be a respectful one. Observe, report, imagine, invent, have fun with, but never write “down” to a character or their point of view, because everyone is the most important person in the world—at least to that one person. And if your tourist photographs suck, maybe it’s because you’re too far away from your subjects, seeing them only as props dotting the scenery.
Position yourself upon a bedrock of honesty and self-knowledge, so that your writing comes from your own unique perspective. Know where you stand and what your flaws are. Know thyself. Then you can spin all kinds of shit and all the tall tales you like. It’s art.
Finally, empathy and perspective are everything, and neither should be taken for granted. After all, there’s always someone out there who thinks you’re the monster. Remember that the ground beneath your feet can always shift and that it should always be questioned."
On Majoring in Music. "I was no slouch of a musician. I was just more of a jack-of-all-trades than a technical monster. My creativity earned me my scholarship, but at music school it’s all about being a specialist, since you can’t really teach creativity."
Highly recommended, for music fans and musicians alike.
His unusual piano playing and the style and subject of his lyrics have kept him, if not at the top of the charts, at least within shouting distance of the charts for more than two decades. Now, his first book, an autobiography entitled "A Dream About Lightning Bugs: A Life of Music and Cheap Lessons," features much of the same amusing quirky style as his music. I love this book; I couldn't put it down. His premise is that his life has provided him opportunities to learn a number of "cheap lessons," some of which he took to heart and some he did not. Throughout the book, he highlights these cheap lessons and offers advice to his reader.
I have followed Ben Folds for more than twenty years. Much of his personal story I had heard before, but there are plenty of sections here that were new to me. Portions of this book are hilarious, particularly his miserable time majoring in jazz music (for a semester) at the University of Miami. Other sections are very readable and very strange. He has been married at least four or five times ... It is unclear to me whether he has learned a whole lot from these marriages. (Based on his allusion to alimony, perhaps those weren't cheap lessons, but rather expensive lessons ...)
Throughout this eminently readable book, he intersperses snippets of lyrics within his anecdotes and advice to give the reader a sense of the relationship between his life and music.
Here are several memorable samples from the book.
After failing out of the University of Miami. "Each night I’d come home, put a Stouffer’s in the microwave, and retreat to my room. My poor parents. They thought they’d sent me off for good only four months ago. That had been their first taste of peace and quiet in seventeen years. But now, once again, there was one more shower to wait on before work, one more car in the driveway to move, and once again loud music blasting from my old bedroom. “Maybe turn that down a little?” Papa politely suggested one afternoon through my bedroom door, after a couple of
knocks. He asked about my plans for college.
“Well, if I’m going to go back to Miami, I’m going to need a scholarship,” I said. “So I’m looking through some ROTC brochures and I’m thinking about the Army—”
“You’re fucking high,” he said. And disappeared.
Papa, of course, wasn’t talking about drugs at all. He was just questioning whether I was cut out for scrubbing the barracks toilets with a toothbrush and following orders. I wasn’t Army material, no matter what the recruitment officer had promised me about being in the field band. From the song “Army” (The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, Ben Folds Five), written a good decade later:
Well I thought about the Army
Dad said “son, you’re fucking high”
And I thought, yeah there’s a first for everything
So I took my old man’s advice"
On playing acoustic piano in a rock band. "When I was younger, trying to jam with loud guitars and drums on an unamplified upright piano in various neighborhood garage bands, I couldn’t hear myself at all. The guitars could just turn a volume knob and blow me away. But one day when we played “China Grove” by the Doobie Brothers, while copying the original piano part I discovered the power of sticking the top of the piano range loudly and repetitively. I could finally be heard. And it wasn’t the velocity alone that made the piano speak above the loud garage band. It was also a matter of what range to play, and when. I was like the runt of a litter who learns to bull in to get food. I can fucking stick it in any loud band and make myself heard."
On Songwriting. "Stand in as many pairs of shoes as you can manage, even ones you consider reprehensible or repulsive—even if it’s just for a moment. If you’re going to be a tourist, be a respectful one. Observe, report, imagine, invent, have fun with, but never write “down” to a character or their point of view, because everyone is the most important person in the world—at least to that one person. And if your tourist photographs suck, maybe it’s because you’re too far away from your subjects, seeing them only as props dotting the scenery.
Position yourself upon a bedrock of honesty and self-knowledge, so that your writing comes from your own unique perspective. Know where you stand and what your flaws are. Know thyself. Then you can spin all kinds of shit and all the tall tales you like. It’s art.
Finally, empathy and perspective are everything, and neither should be taken for granted. After all, there’s always someone out there who thinks you’re the monster. Remember that the ground beneath your feet can always shift and that it should always be questioned."
On Majoring in Music. "I was no slouch of a musician. I was just more of a jack-of-all-trades than a technical monster. My creativity earned me my scholarship, but at music school it’s all about being a specialist, since you can’t really teach creativity."
Highly recommended, for music fans and musicians alike.
January 1, 2020
Ben Folds Five featured heavily in the soundtrack of my youth, so I really enjoyed this book. I would have liked a bit more about the band, but still Ben's stories were interesting.
November 4, 2019
Enjoyed the conversational tone. Wish there’d been more stories of making the records and the creative process behind them, but that wasn’t really the point of this book.
August 25, 2019
I’ve been a fan of Ben’s since the mid-90s, so I was particularly interested when this book came out. It’s a quick read that has both entertaining stories and thoughtful Cheap Lessons (TM) that are applicable to all of us, not just budding musicians.
May 18, 2020
The song I wrote for my daughter, Gwendolyn.
"There is no such thing as repetition. Only insistence." - Gertrude Stein, quoted on page 54.
I'm pretty sure no one's reading this unless they're already a Ben Fold's fan, or music aficionado. I style myself as something of both, but there are bigger fans, and people way more into music than I.
The phrase, "keeping it real" comes out of hip-hop culture, but in my mind, there are few artists out there realer than Ben Folds. I mean, sometimes he got a little too real, right? ("Just went to the store, for some Preparation-H.") He humanizes himself in his songs, and has made himself fairly accessible to fans. Most importantly, he's followed what interested himself - rather than the clearest path to the big bucks. I mean, one of his albums is various university Capella groups singing his songs. (My favorite from that album is Magic, a BFF song not written by Folds, but rather Darren Jessee. But man, the arrangement by The University of Chicago?)
Folds talks about his inner robot, which I read as burnout. It's something teachers - and maybe everybody has to fight against. He says, "But surrounding myself with the people I find interesting, and who share the same interests, keeps my inner robot at bay." Folds is like my spirit animal on this. Chasing what interests me, rather than what will make me the most money is why I'm still here on goodreads. I like it. I'm not writing or reviewing to get paid, I just enjoy doing it, and I'm surrounded by other people who read and like to read just for the sake of reading, or becoming better people or whatever.
Of course, Folds still seems to be doing okay for himself. If I was making no money, I wonder if I'd still make time to chase the art and expressive outlets that interest me.
My wife and I have had any number of arguments over the humor of Andy Kaufman. It was captured really well by Jim Carey in Man on the Moon. Kaufman wanted the TV studio to mess with the vertical alignment, so that all of America would (for the briefest of moments) think that their TVs were broken. They'd get out of their seats, bang on the TV... then it would be fixed - and they'd be like: alright! I've fixed it! (here's the clip.) Later on, somebody says, "but nobody will know it was a joke," and Kaufman replies, "Yeah... but I'll know."
That kind of comedy is getting more and more dangerous, in my mind. And sometimes it's not funny at all. But it's also the type of joke I tell more than any other. So, there it is. One day - like Folds - it is bound to get me into trouble. (Folds had the audience start a rumor that he'd been arrested, and it threatened to have the entire tour cancelled. But that type of inside joke that only the artist, and the live audience are part of? Love it.)
I picked up other tidbits, like Folds' great-grandfather being black - which makes me wonder about some of the lyrics in his, "My Redneck Past." His recollection of being in DC on September 11th - the release date for Rockin' the Suburbs - was affecting. And I enjoyed hearing how uncomfortable he was playing Bitches Ain't Shit - and why he doesn't play it anymore.
The picture of the jeep made me uncomfortable. (For real, if you're in a book store or library and thinking about this book, flip to page 23... #SurvivorBias)
A final word on Folds: I've always appreciated his advocacy for the arts, and public education. He has a chapter, "But for the grace of my music teachers" where he accounts for his time (one day) as a substitute teacher - and then goes on to give shout-outs to a number of his teachers. I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff.
"There is no such thing as repetition. Only insistence." - Gertrude Stein, quoted on page 54.
I'm pretty sure no one's reading this unless they're already a Ben Fold's fan, or music aficionado. I style myself as something of both, but there are bigger fans, and people way more into music than I.
The phrase, "keeping it real" comes out of hip-hop culture, but in my mind, there are few artists out there realer than Ben Folds. I mean, sometimes he got a little too real, right? ("Just went to the store, for some Preparation-H.") He humanizes himself in his songs, and has made himself fairly accessible to fans. Most importantly, he's followed what interested himself - rather than the clearest path to the big bucks. I mean, one of his albums is various university Capella groups singing his songs. (My favorite from that album is Magic, a BFF song not written by Folds, but rather Darren Jessee. But man, the arrangement by The University of Chicago?)
Folds talks about his inner robot, which I read as burnout. It's something teachers - and maybe everybody has to fight against. He says, "But surrounding myself with the people I find interesting, and who share the same interests, keeps my inner robot at bay." Folds is like my spirit animal on this. Chasing what interests me, rather than what will make me the most money is why I'm still here on goodreads. I like it. I'm not writing or reviewing to get paid, I just enjoy doing it, and I'm surrounded by other people who read and like to read just for the sake of reading, or becoming better people or whatever.
Of course, Folds still seems to be doing okay for himself. If I was making no money, I wonder if I'd still make time to chase the art and expressive outlets that interest me.
My wife and I have had any number of arguments over the humor of Andy Kaufman. It was captured really well by Jim Carey in Man on the Moon. Kaufman wanted the TV studio to mess with the vertical alignment, so that all of America would (for the briefest of moments) think that their TVs were broken. They'd get out of their seats, bang on the TV... then it would be fixed - and they'd be like: alright! I've fixed it! (here's the clip.) Later on, somebody says, "but nobody will know it was a joke," and Kaufman replies, "Yeah... but I'll know."
That kind of comedy is getting more and more dangerous, in my mind. And sometimes it's not funny at all. But it's also the type of joke I tell more than any other. So, there it is. One day - like Folds - it is bound to get me into trouble. (Folds had the audience start a rumor that he'd been arrested, and it threatened to have the entire tour cancelled. But that type of inside joke that only the artist, and the live audience are part of? Love it.)
I picked up other tidbits, like Folds' great-grandfather being black - which makes me wonder about some of the lyrics in his, "My Redneck Past." His recollection of being in DC on September 11th - the release date for Rockin' the Suburbs - was affecting. And I enjoyed hearing how uncomfortable he was playing Bitches Ain't Shit - and why he doesn't play it anymore.
The picture of the jeep made me uncomfortable. (For real, if you're in a book store or library and thinking about this book, flip to page 23... #SurvivorBias)
A final word on Folds: I've always appreciated his advocacy for the arts, and public education. He has a chapter, "But for the grace of my music teachers" where he accounts for his time (one day) as a substitute teacher - and then goes on to give shout-outs to a number of his teachers. I'm a sucker for that kind of stuff.
September 19, 2019
Listened to the audiobook narrated by Mr Folds himself. A delightful performance by the piano rockstar.
August 15, 2019
Fantastic musician; unfortunately the book isn't as lyrical, creative, or interesting.
November 10, 2019
As a huge Ben Folds fan, I was very excited for this, albeit a little wary that I could be disappointed by poor writing. I shouldn't have been surprised, however, to find that Folds's way with words comes across quite as well on the page as it does in song. Some of the antics he describes his younger self getting up to threaten to make him less than likeable—save for the humble and self-aware voice with which the wiser and older version narrates. As ever, he is funny, witty, self-deprecating, sensitive, and smart. Folds could easily have gotten away with slapping together a greatest-hits collection of the kind of meaning-behind-the-song anecdotes he tells onstage during concerts and calling that a memoir, but this isn't that at all. Comprised of mostly totally new content, it's both a hilarious and thoughtful account of the experiences that made him the fantastic artist and person that he is. I look forward to reading/listening to whatever he writes next—a memoir of the forthcoming second half of his life, perhaps?
Displaying 1 - 30 of 694 reviews