Becoming a Calm Mom: How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood

by Deborah Roth Ledley

Having a new baby is a life-changing event that brings both delight and doubt in its wake. All new moms have thoughts such as --Why can't I soothe my baby?
--Are other new moms handling motherhood better than I am?
--Is it selfish to want time for myself now that I have a baby who needs me?
--Will my partner and I ever stop squabbling now that baby makes three?

These kinds of thoughts can lead even the most confident women to feel stressed out and anxious. Becoming a Calm Mom balances scientifically sound techniques from an experienced cognitive-behavioral therapist with friendly advice from fellow new moms to help moms successfully overcome the self-doubt that so often arrives along with their first bundle of joy. Author Deborah Roth Ledley is a mother of two and a clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety disorders and works with new mothers. In this book she introduces six simple strategies to handle the inevitable stress we all experience during the first year of motherhood. The Calm Mom Toolbox includes strategies for healthy thinking, behavior, communication, and decision-making, as well as relaxation skills and approaches to nurturing existing and new relationships. Rather than simply giving advice, Becoming a Calm Mom teaches skills to help new moms function better, and gain more enjoyment from this exciting stage of life.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology

265 pages, Paperback

First published October 15, 2008

Reviews

[Hannah Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let's just file this one under "Should be Required Reading." It is so refreshing to read about a newborn parenting method that doesn't just acknowledge that the mother is a human being, but that the mother is important. In fact, this book focuses on the perspective that a happy and taken care of mother is a more effective mother. It includes 6 real skills on how to maintain yourself and your mental well-being throughout the first year of a child's life. I recommend this 100% for anyone who is the mother of a <1 year old, or anyone who thinks they might have a(nother) baby.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the things that I really appreciated about this book is that it focuses not so much on how to take care of your baby (God knows there are a million books that will tell you how to do that) but on how to manage your own reactions to the inevitable stress of parenthood. I appreciated the emphasis on mindfulness and having realistic expectations for yourself and your baby. The book is written by a psychologist/mom who identifies as a "cognitive-behavioral therapist," a stance which does not align very well with my philosophy of how change occurs, but I still found the book to be engaging, reassuring, and (hopefully) useful in my own parenting adventures.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend this book to every mom I know. I don’t know how useful it would be for a second child, as this is my first, but it was really helpful to add to my CBT toolbox and also read that things I was feeling were totally normal. There are also resources in the back on where to get help if needed and ways to get out of the house with baby. It was a gift from my husband for Christmas right after our baby was born, and I can’t say enough how helpful this book was for me.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Staying current, as a mom of 4 and a therapist, I am always on the lookout for reads to recommend to my clients and this fit the bill; neither preachy nor arrogant, the author uses humor and good old fashioned mix of mindfulness and CBT to help new moms navigate the conflicting emotions and behaviors of parenting.

[Anna]

I liked this! Listened as an audiobook, it was nice and calming during walks. Enjoyed the common anecdotes that happen to new parents - this was much more of a gentle guide then structured advice and I appreciated that.

[Beth Trizna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was fairly basic but still helpful.

[Tedi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for moms, or even women looking to help manage stress.

[Franki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for every mom bringing home a newborn.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars!

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Common sense advice on stress relief, simple CBT and parenting tips for first-time moms. I appreciated the author's simple writing style and focus on being present and in tune with your body and mind. She also highlights how to process the overwhelm of data and information that continually bombard a new mom. She helps moms form their own opinions on various topics and encourages mothers to do what is best for her and her baby, while disregarding advice and opinions that don't fit.

[Launna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I only read the first 3 chapters, but it has some awesome tips for dealing with stress that I think anyone could use. I would highly recommend this book to anyone.- but especially to first time moms.

[Rachel Zeller · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not find this book particularly insightful or helpful. Some parts of the book I found to be a bit condescending. I actually stopped reading at after about 100 pages because it made me feel less than calm.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was an easy read. The techniques seemed very simple, basic, and effective in theory, but I know the hard part will be the implementation ...

[Nina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is filled with common sense advice and some good strategies,nothing breathtaking new or groundbreaking, however, the act of reading it calmed me down a few times.