The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse

by Art Bennett, Laraine Bennett

Love, honor, cherish ... and understand In their bestselling book, The Temperament God Gave You, authors Art and Laraine Bennett re-introduced the age-old concept of the four classic temperaments, and showed how to use them to understand yourself, get along with others, and grow closer to God. Now they're back with more temperament wisdom, designed specially for couples and guaranteed to improve your marital communication, intimacy, and The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse. In no other kind of human relationship is knowledge of the temperaments -- the fundamental personality traits, hard-wired into us at birth, that affect the way we respond to the world around us -- so critical, and so fruitful, as in a Christian marriage. For it's only through mutual understanding of our own patterns of reaction, and those of our spouse, that we can motivate, nurture, respect, and above all, love each other with the selfless patience to which Christ calls us in the sacrament. In a fun-to-read style that incorporates practical psychology, real-life anecdotes, and decades of clinical experience, the Bennetts will show *The four kinds of spouses -- which kind did you marry?
*How temperament affects the way you and your spouse work, pray, argue, socialize, and show affection
*Tips for developing the communication skills that your temperament needs most, and for nurturing them in your spouse
*All the possible temperament combinations in marriage, and how to handle the unique challenges that yours creates
*Proven ways to figure out what really makes your spouse tick! So often we wish we could make our spouses different (because they're not just like us); yet the Bennetts show that true marital contentment lies not in changing the way God made our loved ones, but in appreciating it -- and helping them to perfect it. Read The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse and discover a new world of understanding and respect for the person you married.

Genres: Marriage, Catholic, Psychology, Nonfiction, Christianity, Religion, Relationships

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 15, 2008

Reviews

[Regina Doman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just as good as the first one!

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I mostly just skimmed this book. I think I prefer the Meyers Briggs Personality type to this medieval temperament model.
The problem with the Sanguine/Melancholic/Phlegmatic/Choleric model is that it’s too specific for just 4 types. All 4 are associated with an introverted or extroverted characteristic that I think confuses the type even more. I got my husband to take a quiz and he came up as Melancholic but he is not introverted. I would have pegged him as more Sanguine than Melancholic.
The problems that were listed for the different personality types didn’t match our struggles. It was too specific for such a limited selection. Ultimately I didn’t get much out of this book because the types didn’t really fit either of us.

[Erik · Rating 4 out of 5]

I generally do not like labels, but this book is so practical and so many of the stories felt like they described me or my wife to a "t" that I ate it up. The authors are careful not to direct the readers to use these as labels. They talk about secondary temperaments and blends, as well as focusing heavily on interactions, so that the goal is understanding, not allowing one to use these as excuses.

[Fides · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you've read "The Temperament God Gave You," you really don't need to buy this one or the one for your kids. The authors just seem to be out to make more cash - so many sentences and stories were simply copied and pasted from their original title that it becomes annoyingly repetitive and you wonder why they couldn't at least use original material for their follow-up books.

[Sarah Murray · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was my first read on the four temperaments. I enjoyed the chapters about each temperament, but I feel like the chapters based on the different combinations of temperaments in a marriage were only truly relatable if your spouse and yourself are 100% of their temperament. I’m mostly melancholic and my husband mostly phlegmatic, and the chapter on how our marriage based on these temperaments paints us as this unexciting, boring, unmotivated couple which is not the case. I kind of wished it was a little more uplifting/positive.

[Arshad Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting in terms of seeing the dynamics of the interactions between temperaments but I didn't gain as much insight as from the first and third books. A lot of repetition from the other books in this one as well. You could very much just skip through and read three sections: 1) your temperament in a relationship, 2) your spouses temperament and 3) the interaction between the two and get what you need from this book.

[jesyka sweet · Rating 5 out of 5]

recommend for everyone

I truly believe all people should take a temperament test and then learn about their temperament and of their loved ones. armed with this knowledge we are better able to extend grace to our loved ones and also ourselves. We are better able to understand each other and approach each other in constructive ways that will be heard and received by the other party.

[Myah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can't recommend it enough. Invaluable to understanding yourself and others. I definitely bring up the temperaments too often now. Wish it was longer!

Note: you do have to be aware that due to the nature of people and how unique we are, not everything will apply exactly to you as described. In order to explain, there have to be generalizations, because people are combinations of temperaments, personalities and upbringings. Still worth the 5 stars in my personal opinion.

[J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very helpful book, we underlined the sections we believed to most pertinent to us. We look forward to using these concepts and suggestions with each other and when God has decided to bless us with kids.

[Katarzyna Balutowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable read.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once you get through the sexist, overtly catholic parts, this book is super helpful! made me think of things I hadn't before and other times go "Yes! That's so familiar!"

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this book was pretty good up until they used Hilary and Bill Clinton as an example....

[Anthony Smitha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating book, good read!