Does She or Doesn't She?

by Alisa Kwitney

Passion. The kind of tear-your-clothes off, scream-your-lungs-out, crash-into-the-furniture passion that changes lives.

It's what Delilah wants. It's what she craves. It's what she fantasizes about whenever her disinterested husband's not around. Okay, so it occasionally makes her late for the school run and distracts her from the fact there's no food in the fridge, but an elaborate fantasy life is a basic requirement for a fledgling soap opera writer.

Lately, though, the oddest things have been happening in Delilah's real life. First, she discovers a couple of skeletons rattling around in her husband's closet. Then, she learns that the insolently sexy plumber who's been fixing her pipes and starring in her daydreams is really an undercover FBI agent. And now all the clues seem to point to the conclusion that she's the only person in New York City not carrying on a torrid affair. Which she intends to do something about. Or does she?

Because there's nothing more dangerous than acting on your secret desire.

Genres: Chick Lit, Romance, Fiction, Contemporary, Contemporary Romance

304 pages, Paperback

First published June 24, 2003

About the author

I'm the author of YA, graphic novels and novels for adults who still feel young, at least most of the time. Recent works include GILT, a graphic novel about time-traveling women of a certain age; Cadaver & Queen, a YA Feminist Frankenstein meets Grey's Anatomy tale, and Mystik U from DC Comics, which features Zatanna and other magical characters in their first year at college. I also co-host a Sandman podcast, The Endless, with Lani Diane Rich.

My first novel, Till the Fat Lady Sings, is also about college and romance and eating disorders. (It was my thesis at Columbia University's MFA Program, where I felt like an outlier for liking comic books and romance as much as literature.) I was an editor at Vertigo, the mature/dark fantasy branch of DC Comics, before going freelance. (I've also written two hormonal werewolf books as Alisa Sheckley.)

I live near the Vanderbilt Estate in Hyde Park, NY, with two dogs and a frightening number of books.

aka Alisa Sheckley

Reviews

[Nora · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book to be underwhelming. The author has clearly studied literature, but their numerous references to famous literature do nothing to enhance the story. While I assume she was trying to be smart and charming, the many I caught made me roll my eyes. The story itself was not very compelling and the characters far from likable.

I found myself slogging through each of Delilah's fantasies, waiting for them to be over. Could have done without them, but the distinct change of style and tone for each one was a creative touch. (As a side note, Delilah was so boring and unmemorable I just now had to go look up her name as I'd already forgotten it.)

There isn't a whole lot of build up to the action of the story, but at the same time there is a lot of junk going on in the background. I felt like the action felt rushed and skimped on in favor for Delilah's daydreaming and the soap-opera like twists.

One point I must commend the author on, however, is a few of the relationships going on in the story. Delilah's relationship with her sister was excellent. I particularly liked the "I don't forgive you, but I still love you" aspect, as it was really realistic. I also appreciate that Delilah was accepting of her husband's lifestyle choice, but fully admitted she wasn't into it and it was going to cause the end of their relationship. Too often in romance novels one character will confess something like this and their partner is instantly accepting and accepts the change in their relationship. This is simply not true much of the time in the real world.

On the other hand, Delilah's relationship with Ford was awkward and left me feeling unfulfilled. While I just commended the author of avoiding one romance novel cliche, I must say at the same time I longed for a happy ending and not the ambiguous one I got.

Overall, not bad for popcorn fiction, but not worth a re-read or recommendation.

[Hsiau Wei · Rating 1 out of 5]

A book with ridiculous story plot! At first, after reading first few pages, i already struggle with it but as updated in my goodreads' feed, i gave it a benefit doubt and intend to finish reading the book. As i reach thru the third quarter of the book, i failed miserably in following thru the book and i decided to give up. The story plot was so mixed up with Delilah's fantasy and the real story plot that as a reader, i find it very confusing and annoying. This is definitely the worst book i ve read this year!

[Kaitlyn Moore Bratcher · Rating 2 out of 5]

It wasn't so bad that I put the book down but not good enough to recommend to a friend. The fantasies at the beginning of each chapter were tedious to read through and I thought took away from the actual story line. The author spent so much time on these she didn't really develop the plot. Events just kind of occurred with little build up and almost made no sense. I felt like I was missing pages. I also found at one point in the book the character Sadie's name turned to Sophie. The story itself was a very good concept and would have been an interesting read if it was done properly.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mostly a light read, albeit far-fetched with a sloppy plot, IMO, about a stay-at-home mom who can't seem to get anything right around the house. Her husband is distant and disapproving and she finds herself fantasizing about the plumber sent to repair a leak.

Soon her real life is as outlandish as her fantasies (most of which I just skipped over because I didn't really find them all that interesting).

[Drianne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Chick-lit. I'm sorry I wasted the time to read this, since while the trope of writing out all the main character's fantasies about the not-plumber was interesting, ultimately there was no there there, and I was incredibly irritated that she considered 'immediate divorce' the right response to her discovery that her husband is a cross-dresser. Avoid.

[angelika jazmin · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book ateeeee I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT TO BE THIS GOOD!

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book Description

Passion. The kind of tear-your-clothes off, scream-your-lungs-out, crash-into-the-furniture passion that changes lives.

It's what Delilah wants. It's what she craves. It's what she fantasizes about whenever her disinterested husband's not around. Okay, so it occasionally makes her late for the school run and distracts her from the fact there's no food in the fridge, but an elaborate fantasy life is a basic requirement for a fledgling soap opera writer.

Lately, though, the oddest things have been happening in Delilah's real life. First, she discovers a couple of skeletons rattling around in her husband's closet. Then, she learns that the insolently sexy plumber who's been fixing her pipes and starring in her daydreams is really an undercover FBI agent. And now all the clues seem to point to the conclusion that she's the only person in New York City not carrying on a torrid affair. Which she intends to do something about. Or does she?

Amazon.com had mixed review on this one. I really liked it and took it for what it was. Someone who is bored with their everyday life but instead of looking outside the home for an affair or whoever, Delilah looks inside her head and concocts some outrageous daydream.s

Ford is the "plumber" fixing a leak in Delilah's apartment. As Delilah's daydreams get more sensual, Ford plays a bigger and bigger role. Delilah's daydreams also get quite involved but his involvement is strictly foreshadowing for the true a venture that is coming Delilah's way. The FBI is keeping an eye on her husband because of a new fragrance his company is trying to patent. Delilah suspects him of hang an affair and does discover the truth. The affairs he had were to prove his masculinity as he is a cross dresser.

Delilah takes control of her life and invites Ford and his dog over for a movie.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved Delilah's creativity and the twist in the end about her husband being a crossdresser and not a playboy.

In my opinion, it's something you'd want to read when you feel so depressed with your life. Read it to know that somewhere out there, someone's got it worse than you do.

The little thoughts about Delilah with the FBI agent whose name escapes me now is hot but seriously teasing. It's like she never provides herself any form of intense pleasure or the world has an uncanny sense of timing that stops her right before it gets good.

I heaved a huge sigh of relief when Delilah and the FBI agent (name still escapes me) finally got it on and laughed so hard when her husband (whose name also escapes me) came into the house and they kept impossibly quiet while he was searching around it.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like Alisa Kwitney's writing style, humor and the literature and pop culture references. I liked the protaganist. But the fantasies that started EVERY chapter became tiresome (except the "Bewitched" themed one) and the ending was disappointing. I wish some of the time spent on sexual interludes and fantasies had been alotted for a better paced and more detailed resolution. In the end, all of the characters went flat. Even with all of the sudden revelations that were thrown in. The only character who became more interesting was the "perfect" pregnant psychotherapist, Caroline Moore.

[Helen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I really did.

Delilah, the main character, wants to have passion in her life. However, she finds that her husband is hiding something. She starts to fantasize about the plumber who is fixing her pipes in her closet.

Throughout the story, Delilah is an incredibly frustrating character, unable to keep her life at all organized and just focused on these sexual fantasies throughout.

I thought there were additionally some dangerous profiling of different types of people including both Native American people and transgender people.

Would not recommend.

2/5

[Jennifer L. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a strange book. I liked the writing style and would probably have liked the book more if it had stuck with one plot line (like maybe the one I thought the book was going to be about when I picked it up: woman struggles with whether or not to have affair). Instead, the book was all over the place with FBI agents, murder attempts, cross-dressing and a strange aphrodisiac/drug . I finished the book and enjoyed some scenes, but overall it was too unbelievable for me to really like the book.

[N.N. Heaven · Rating 1 out of 5]

I tried really hard to like this book. In fact, I gave it a few chances. The thing that bothered me was just how scatter-brained and idiotic the main character was. She wasn't funny and in fact she angered me.

This was recommended to me because I love Sex and the City. If someone tells you the same line, run away!

I stopped the torture on page 40.

I gave this book away.

[Sharon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t really like this book, but I finished it...WHY? I think I’m always thinking that the book will get better if I don’t like it. Well it didn’t!!
The main character has fantasies and the story goes back and forth from real life to her fantasies.
Her real life at time seemed like a fantasy. Just whacky!
I’m sorry I wasted time reading the whole book!!!

[Jeanna Giansanti · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was like watching a bad train wreck or soap opera!!! Each chapter started with the main characters fantasizing- I completely skipped every word of that trash but the actual story kept me interested just enough to need to know the ending. As I said - it turned out to be an actual train wreck. Moving on!

[Christian · Rating 5 out of 5]

One thing I remember about this book is the... Lord, forgive me, the sex scene. VERY HOT (all capitals, baby... if you know what I mean). This book is a guilty pleasure. Like chocolate ice cream, you can't help yourself eating it until your spoon meet the cup's end.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm really not sure how I made it through this book. The dream sequences at the beginning of each chapter were awkward and unnecessary in my opinion. I found the main character a bit annoying. The plot was too far fetched.

The only redeeming qualities were the few funny bits.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really struggled through the first half of this book. I thought that the little fantasies at the beginning of each chapter were annoying and disrupted the flow of the story. I guess that they actually were important to the story but I just found them distracting.

[Lia D. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this would be a good book, the blurb had me hooked. The first two fantasies were okay, but then they became longer and more drawn out. When I got to the middle of the book, I just skipped over reading that part altogether. The plot seemed rushed, but the sex scenes were...interesting.

[Carlyn Topkin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow I hated this thing. Delilah is such an obnoxious character with no likability. The day dream sequences I found so annoying and repetitive and I started skipping them when I learned they had no value. So many parts didn’t even make sense.

[Kshe · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wait, what? I thought this book was going to be about a woman and her turmoil and thought process. This was so hard to follow and so hard to believe. I also hated the daydreaming; what was the point!??! It honestly took every cell in my brain to finish it. 😩

[Danni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was okay. Mostly just a "filler" book

[Kelli · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not good at all. I just read it because I'm sick and it's what I had. Didn't read the italicized parts because they were so bad.

[Brooke Francher · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a favorite, lots of fantasies that don’t necessarily relate to the plot. Don’t like the formatting either.

[Katherine 黄爱芬 · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sbg wanita yg sdh berumahtangga, sah-sah saja berfantasi bercinta dgn orang asing. Apalagi obyek seksual di depan mata adalah tukang ledeng seksi.

Delilah menyadari rumah tangganya sedang terancam krisis dgn ketidakacuhan suaminya. Maka Delilah melarikan diri dgn berkhayal erotis bersama si tukang ledeng yg eksotis tsb. Di luar dugaan, ternyata si tukang ledeng ini adalah agen FBI yg sedang menyamar, dlm penyelidikan yg melibatkan kolega suami Delilah utk produk berbahaya. Masalahnya ketertarikan seksual antara Delilah dan si tukang ledeng sudah tidak bisa dibendung lagi.

Sebenarnya plot cerita sudah terbentuk, tetapi banyak kekurangan dlm novel ini yg membuat novel ini tidak bagus. Pertama, fantasi seksual Delilah terlalu banyak dan "mengganggu" jalan cerita. Kedua, masalah-masalah yg terjadi tidak ada penuntasan alias berlalu begitu saja. Ketiga, saya menemukan banyak hal "tidak nyambung" dlm novel ini. Contohnya saya jelas tidak mengerti dgn klimaks cerita, saat Delilah ditodong tetangganya, apa hubungannya dgn misteri Biosensual?

Keempat, krn ini novel gak jelas juga muatannya, saya tidak membicarakan ranah moral, istri yg berselingkuh, suami yg berselingkuh, suami yg krisis identitas diri, semuanya campur baur kacau balau. Bagi saya intinya cuma satu, jika rumah tanggamu sudah di ambang kehancuran, carilah pertolongan profesional, bukannya saling balas dan membenarkan kesalahan yg telah diperbuat.

Novel ini cuma bagus di bagian kalimat-kalimat sarkastisnya yg menohok dan lumayan mengundang senyum. Selain itu, saya tidak melihat nilai bagus dari isinya.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Delilah Levine is having a difficult time in her marriage and trouble with her job. To pass the time and because she helps to write soap operas, she fantasizes. A lot. Her fantasies take on steam when the plumber hired to fix a problem in her apartment becomes the object of her attentions, dreams only though they are. Her life becomes chaotic and emotional in her attempt to fix her soap opera writer's block, and somehow her fantasies begin to take on a life of their own. Cute, funny, romantic and a bit sexy, this is a quick read, enjoyable and action packed.

[Beck · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was a sheer delight. It's off the wall but still grounded and relateable--a true escape read. Like I've come to expect from Kwitney, there's some nuanced gender commentary. The romance is worth reading through to the end, for a mind-melting depiction of carnal union.

[Deanna Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Found it hard to stay focused with all the fantasy story lines going on in her head ... But had some interesting twists and turns.

[Shelly Quinn · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book definitely was not my favorite. I kept reading it to think it would get better but it didn't.

[Tyler Tyler · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well.....it's a book, and if you skip past all of the fantasy stories at the beginning of each chapter, it's almost a decent book.

[Britt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Significantly more entertaining than I thought it would be. Kept waiting for it all to make sense and realized far too late that nothing was going to make sense and that was the silly truth of it all. Truly ridiculous...but in a good way. Also the description from the back of the book, as is often the case, thoroughly failed to capture the essence of the book. It was not what I was expecting...also in a good way. A goofy way to spend a few spare hours...