Raising a Nonviolent Child

by John Rosemond

Tragedies such as the April 1999 massacre at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, are but the tip of the child-violence iceberg, says noted family psychologist and best-selling author John Rosemond. Over the past 35 years, the rate of violence and aggression on the part of children has risen at least tenfold, affecting children across the demographic spectrum. Rosemond turns his critical eye to the various theories proposed to explain this trend--from the notion that violence is a matter of genes to the ubiquity of violence in the media-and comes to a startling The problem has much to do with bad advice from child rearing experts. Progressive parenting practices, as promoted by mental health professionals for more than a generation, succeed at enlarging children's self-esteem, but fail to teach them self-control. The end result are epidemic numbers of children who feel great about themselves, but have little regard for others--children who've been given everything they could possible want, and little of what they truly need, especially adequate discipline. Rosemond empowers parents to take the bull of modern child rearing by the horns and tame it by focusing on teaching manners, character, respect for others, and self-control. Consistent with his previous parenting best-sellers, Raising a Nonviolent Child is short in theory and long on the sort of practical, commonsense advice he's built his reputation upon-advice that promises to reassure and empower today's parents and set America's children back on the proper course. 

Genres: Parenting, Family

192 pages, Hardcover

First published January 5, 2000

About the author

John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology. In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society. In 1999, his alma mater conferred upon John the Distinguished Alumni Award, given only once per year. Upon acceptance, he gave the commencement address.

From 1971-1979, he worked as a psychologist in Illinois and North Carolina and directed several mental-health programs for children.

From 1980-1990. John was in full-time practice as a family psychologist with Piedmont Psychological Associates in Gastonia.

Presently, his time is devoted to speaking and writing. John is syndicated in approximately 225 newspapers nationwide. He has written eleven best-selling parenting books. He is also one of America’s busiest and most popular speakers and most certainly the busiest and most popular in his field. He’s known for his sound advice, humor and easy, relaxed, engaging style.

In the past few years, John has appeared on numerous national television programs including 20/20, Good Morning America, The View, The Today Show, CNN, and CBS Later Today, as well as numerous print interviews.

All of his professional accomplishments aside, John is quick to remind folks that his real qualifications are that he’s been married to the same woman for over forty years, is the father of two successful adults, and the grandfather of seven children…make that seven well-behaved grandchildren.

Reviews

[M · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nope. (That title is deceiving.)

[Rykki · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm torn on my assessment of this book. On one hand, I do agree that violence in this world is increasing because antisocial behaviors are allowed to continue. I do see a lot of kids throwing tantrums, and for some it doesn't even end in adulthood. With all the focus in the media on school shootings, the knockout game, the Boston Marathon bombing, and the shootings on military installations, it's incredibly clear that there is a distinct problem with violence in our culture, and much of the root of it seems to be in selfish desires and a lack of understanding, or even care for the consequences, that runs rampant in our society.

While I do think this book hits the nail on the head about the root of the problem, I don't know that I agree with what the author suggests as the solution. I suppose a swift, punitive punishment is better than many alternatives to handling behavior that is disrespectful or violent, but I think there are better ways. I suppose doing something is better than doing nothing, however, there is a huge difference between parenting with respect and being permissive. Letting a child get away with things because you're afraid to hurt their feelings is never okay, but there are ways to handle a situation that don't require swift and severe punishment. I know at least a few solutions listed as never-fail solutions that seemed to always fail when used against me and people. know.

The heart of the book was in the right place, but in practice, I would like to hear some solutions I couldn't get from asking my grandmother for parenting advice.

[Carolyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. Some of the advice in it was marvelously bracing and practical. But a lot of it was devoted to muck-raking and bad research. On the other hand, I wonder if his belligerence was necessary to get across how serious he is about his refreshingly counter-cultural message. The main take-away for me was that violence in children is not caused by violent, punitive measures taken by their parents but by almost the opposite: a lack of parental strength and direction. Rosemond has given me permission to take the reins of my family again and feel no guilt about expecting and enforcing strict obedience in our home. Huzzah for that.

[Adam Godbold · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical. Helpful. To be sure, there were points with which I disagree and assumptions I do not share, but overall, I found this book empowering and encouraging. Half way through, I ran into a misbehavior with one of my children. Funny: I handled the problem as best I could at the time, considering what I thought the author might suggest, only to find the misbehavior explicitly described in a later chapter, and his prescribed corrective was exactly what I unknowingly employed. Wow. What's more: So far, it seems to have worked.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't like the name of this book. It just throws me off. The book is more about general parenting and not specifically about violent children. I think the author even changed the name at a later publishing.