I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a member of the LDS church, but I do admire the church, its history, and its people. I read this work because I had a friend, a church member, who admired Dr. Holland’s sermons, lectures, and speeches; their love for him prompted me to purchase this and read it. And I’m glad I did.
This book is structured as a compilation of speeches, talks, and sermons given by Dr. Holland, along with several original reflections. It’s organized thematically; each section encompasses a broader spiritual topic, containing chapters that explore more niche subtopics. For example, the section on family includes dedicated chapters on the roles of mothers and fathers, and the section on true prophets and true principles includes chapters dedicated to continued revelation and the Restoration. In my honest opinion, every part of it is worth reading.
The title of this book might lead you to expect a spiritual self-help guide for those struggling in their faith. While this work addresses that audience among many, it isn’t designed to cover that exact struggle in depth. Because of its broad scope, the treatment of each topic it covers is concise, so if you’re looking for a book that focuses exclusively on spiritual healing during times of difficulty, other books by Dr. Holland and Church leaders may speak more directly to that need. This book, however, functions more as a comprehensive spiritual encyclopedia.
Dr. Holland covers a wide range of subjects: from controversial issues like addiction, to reinforcing the family unity; from the challenges faced by youths to the importance of tithing and missionary work; from the relevance of the current dispensation and the Restoration, to remembering Joseph Smith (from the First Vision to the Kirtland vision and beyond). He also explores forgiveness, both of others and ourselves; how to minister and teach effectively; theology; the defense of LDS doctrines; the trials of faith; the love of Christ; and the heart of the Father, among many other topics.
In complement to the content, it’s also easy to see that Dr. Holland possesses a warm, friendly candor; he’s sincere, and his down-to-earth personality speaks through his words. There are times when some sermons and speeches may feel condescending or distant, like you’re being talked down to, but there was nothing like that within this book. This was a guide guiding and doing so with care.
It's also clear that this book was crafted with an LDS audience in mind, but it was easy to look up information regarding what I didn’t know, and all of it felt accessible. When I finished, I actually felt more aware of Church doctrine.
To give you a better sense of what to expect, I’ll use the rest of this review to highlight some of the introductory material in the book.
In the initial section on family, Dr. Holland reflects on the spiritual significance of parenting. Although I’m not a parent myself, I found this chapter noteworthy. Dr. Holland emphasizes that parenting isn’t just about bringing your children to services; it’s about how we live, embody, and teach our faith in the present moment. If we trivialize our faith, whether through apathy or skepticism, this will be reflected in the outlook of our children.
As Dr. Holland states, “No child in this Church should be left with uncertainty about his or her parents’ devotion.” That uncertainty can build a void in our children, and it’s entirely human to seek ways to fill these voids. As Dr. Holland reminds us, children, being naturally inquisitive, will instinctively jump to whatever is most popular in the “intellectual currents and current climate” around them. If they can’t find a coherent identity grounded in religion and the accompanying validation that comes with it, they may search for that validation elsewhere in repackaged forms, such as immersing themselves in self-help ideologies and niche subcultures, or pursuing other religions or even atheism. At worst, in their search for meaning and identity, they may be drawn to harmful, reductive belief systems, such as the toxic ideologies associated with the modern manosphere culture or the oversimplified, polarizing narratives found at the extremes of both the far right and far left. The key point is that these are attempts to find purpose and belonging, and while some of these paths can provide a temporary sense of meaning, there is no alternative for the meaning, identity, and moral anchoring that religion can provide.
So, faith isn’t something we should wear like a coat, only throwing it on when we walk through the doors of a church. It should be something constant; something permanent woven into our identity. If we treat faith like an accessory, our children will too. And if we respond to every challenge we face with logic alone, they’ll come to see turning to faith in moments of crisis as out of place. Dr. Holland expresses it best when he warns against becoming people whose “whole-souled devotion always seems to hang back a little, who at the Church’s doctrinal campsite always like to pitch their tents out on the periphery of religious faith.” To extend that analogy: remember that those who camp on the periphery are the most likely to wander away. And if the center of any campsite is where the greatest sense of identity and purpose is felt, then our children, longing for this, may go searching for a different campsite altogether, one where they could draw nearer to that center. So, don’t camp on the edge; camp in the center, on full display.
Dr. Holland reminds us that if you’re a parent, ask yourself what your children truly know about your faith. Have you prominently displayed it? Have they ever opened a door and accidentally found you praying? Have they ever seen you fast? Do they know what you pray for, or that you pray for them? Have they witnessed you supporting or donating to your church or place of worship? Have they seen your faith revealed through your character? Have they ever asked why you act with sincerity or kindness? Have they ever caught a glimpse of you, at a random moment, reflecting on scripture?
Personally, it's also worth noting that the way we communicate our faith to our children should not only be informative, but also compelling; something that draws them in by speaking to both their hearts and minds. Too often, parents dictate, without explanation, what their children should believe or what rituals they ought to observe. This approach works when they’re young, but as they grow older, so does their capacity for skepticism. And at that point, they no longer need commands; they need reasons. They need to be reminded why they believe what they believe, and why those practices matter. For example, Dr. Holland defends the LDS concept of the trinity in a later chapter; read that chapter. The way he articulates this doctrine using both faith and reason is precisely the way these truths should be shared with your children. Don’t just tell them “Believe it”; give them a reason to believe. And remember this: belief only deepens when it’s conveyed with affection, reason, and understanding.
To help children develop a coherent, faith-centered worldview, we can also strive to articulate our faith as a meaningful and reasoned response to life’s challenges. Think of it this way: in introductory biology, we learn about enzymology; how each ligand must have the proper fit and orientation to bind to its respective enzyme. Similarly, our children need to see how faith “fits” the complexities and challenges of life. For example, a friend once told me that their joy stems from the belief that they’ll be reunited with their family eternally in heaven. For a child who fears losing those close to them, this kind of reassurance is a blessing and a beautiful gift. Remind them of that. When I was younger, I served as a peer mentor for a church in Michigan, where I met someone who would constantly struggle with guilt over the mistakes they’d made. What brought them peace wasn’t misdirecting their attention elsewhere or denying what they felt. What helped them was the idea that repentance is possible; that God offers both forgiveness and renewal. For a teenager burdened by failure and shame, and consumed by memories of their worst moments, knowing there is a way out means everything. Another example could be helping your child navigate the anxiety and tension they feel about the future, whether it's a test grade or a college acceptance letter. Remind them that God is there to provide direction. We may not always know His plan, but we can trust that it was crafted to guide us in the ways we need most. Or, if a child is struggling with self-worth, remind them that God knows them intimately: their flaws, their fears, their hopes, their identity. Their worth, to him, was not something to be earned, but was always inherent; it was made apparent the moment they came into this world and will always remain so.
In another early chapter, Dr. Holland covers a theme I found particularly meaningful: gentle speech. He starts by quoting a passage from James: “out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be” (James 3:10). He then reflects on it: “the voice that bears profound testimony, utters fervent prayer, and sings the hymns of Zion can be the same voice that berates and criticizes, embarrasses and demeans, inflicts pain, and destroys the spirit—both of oneself and of others.”
This notion, that we often bless and curse with the same tongue, is something Dr. Holland applies across many kinds of relationships. One notable example he covers is the relationship between spouses. If you’re married, it’s good to remember: your wife has voluntarily entrusted herself to you; something she was never obligated to do. In other words, she chose you. More than that, God has entrusted one of his daughters into your care, to be your lifelong companion. It should go without saying that she deserves to be honored and cherished. Treating her with love and care lies at the heart of a happy marriage, and as Dr. Holland affirms, “Happy marriages are the rule. They are not the exception.”
Dr. Holland urges us to center our thoughts on the emotions we felt during the most cherished and memorable moments we shared with our spouses. Those feelings, thoughts, and memories should remain omnipresent and guide how we speak to and treat our partners. Keeping gentle speech in mind, the takeaway is clear: there should never be a place in marriage for any kind of derogatory language. Not only is behavior like this harmful to the foundation of your marriage, but, more importantly, as Holland warns, it risks breaking both the heart and spirit of your wife. And in every situation, regret follows immediately after. So don’t give yourself a reason to regret; instead, remember the reasons to cherish. And if a difficult situation presents itself, don’t demean one another; instead, reframe the difficulty as both of you working together to overcome it, not against each other.
Again, I'm not a Saint, but what Holland said on this matter moved me, and I believe it can resonate with people of all faiths. He urged us to remember the blessings we once gave to one another. Remember the sacred moment when you placed your hand on her and she placed her hand on you. Remember praying for her. Remember that she is your partner, not just in the here and now, but through eternity. And if you have children together, remember that she is the mother of your children, their safe haven, their strength, and their light. Remember that she chose to walk beside you through every joy and every storm, just as you did. She gave you hope when you felt hopeless, and she showed you goodness when the world felt cold. So choose her, again and again, in the ordinary and the chaos. And don’t let a passing moment of anger give rise to harsh words that could leave deep wounds that may last for years, especially when those words are directed at someone who would give everything for you. As the sage Elder Donald L. Hallstrom once said, “From our first date to marriage, we [cherished] the gospel…we had no desire to prove who’s right, only a desire to prove what’s right.”
Another theme that Holland subtly returns to throughout this section is the idea that one of humanity’s primary purposes is to give rise to itself; that becoming mothers and fathers is among our most fundamental responsibilities. I understand this sentiment, but at the same time, I believe it’s essential to remember that marriage is, first and foremost, a sacred and spiritual bond.
One of the first and most significant decrees in Genesis is not “I will make man a companion so that he might produce offspring,” but rather, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’” (Genesis 2:18). The calling of husband and wife to union isn’t solely to bear physical fruit in children, but to bear spiritual fruit, in worship, love, and good works. Remember the words of Paul in Ephesians: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it... So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself” (Ephesians 5:25, 28–29).
Yes, children are a blessing worth pursuing, and Dr. Holland is right to affirm that. But, for reminder’s sake, let me reiterate that it’s one duty among many, and one of the most central, if not the most essential, functions of marriage is love, companionship, and the mutual strengthening of one another in drawing closer to God. I say this because I’ve seen what happens when the purpose of marriage is reduced to procreation; it trivializes the agency, role, and identity of women, and it robs the union of both the sustaining power of love it was meant to embody and the true worth of your partner. This type of role reductionism can also inadvertently signal to those who cannot have children that they have no divine purpose. That’s simply not true; every soul has a purpose. A woman isn’t confined to a single role; she’s composed of many, each a facet of who she is. And we must remember: her worth isn’t measured by reproductive capacity; her worth is inherent as a child of God, and how she chooses to honor that identity is through her character and faith. Remember Sarah, Hannah, and Elizabeth; remember that Scripture honors them for their character and faith above all else. (Hebrews 11:11; 1 Samuel 1:10–28; Luke 1:6). In other words, motherhood is not a necessity for worth; your wife’s worth speaks for itself. Remember that.
Dr. Holland also covers gentle speech regarding parenting. We need to understand that, even unconsciously, our words can leave a lasting impression on children. Even something as seemingly inconspicuous as offering compliments at the same time can have unintended consequences. Dr. Holland illustrates this: if you tell one child they’re smart and another that they’re pretty, both will become preoccupied with why they didn’t receive the other’s compliment. This will linger with both and become a point of fixation and tension. Even slight jests, like calling a child “weak” or “fat”, can have lasting wounds on their self-esteem. Our speech should always be constructive and compassionate.
Anecdotally, whenever I’m out with my oldest nephew and he’s facing something that requires courage, whether it’s going down the tallest slide at the park, introducing himself to a new group of friends, or holding onto the monkey bars, I never tell him to stop being afraid or to just “get over it.” Instead, I try to motivate him to conquer his fears, even if that means accompanying him or providing support through the process as needed. It’s only when he inevitably knows that my support will always be there, regardless of the outcome, that he finds the courage to act (to be fair, the promise of ice cream might help too).
Dr. Holland also offers practical remedies. For instance, if you want to compliment your children, do it individually and in isolation. Highlight their unique strengths, and when you notice a weakness, don’t spotlight it. Instead, reinforce the behavior you want to encourage. If sharing is an issue, don’t simply scold them; instead, model the correct behavior. Let them see you sharing your “toys.” Even if it’s staged or artificial, a demonstration like this can make a lasting impression when done consistently and with compassion.
Lastly, there was a chapter directed towards church members, but its message still resonated with me. Dr. Holland recounts the story of an early Saint who, during the foundational days of the church, was preaching overseas in Scotland. Initially, he faced stiff resistance when sharing LDS scripture and doctrine, so he chose to focus his time solely on preaching the Bible. However, he did so only for a short time because in his heart, he felt like he was betraying both himself and the integrity of God’s message.
Again, I'm not a Saint, but that story resonated with me. Dr. Holland explains that to be part of this Church is to embrace it thoroughly; not to hide aspects of one’s faith or identity, but carry it sincerely, both inwardly in heart and outwardly on display. As a Muslim who grew up in the post-9/11 era, I know what it’s like to feel the pressure to hold back expressions of faith. Looking back, I wish I’d had the courage to take pride in who I was; to find the strength to reach the same realization that Saint did.
And take it from an outsider: one of the aspects of the Church that I find most compelling is something Dr. Holland also highlights as one of its greatest blessings: the doctrine of continuing revelation. In light of this, faith isn’t something to conceal, but it’s something to be proud of and celebrate. The same could be said for the full spectrum of beliefs that the church carries. For most believers in other traditions, it would be an unimaginable dream to know that God continues to speak into the present day; that living among apostles and prophets isn’t some bygone relic of the past, but a reality of both the present and future. I would take immense pride in that.
At one point, Dr. Holland also addresses critiques of the Church as outside the fold of Christianity. He defends the church’s doctrines directly through scripture, and his arguments are thoughtful and compelling. But, in my view, the Church doesn’t need to rely solely on scriptural defense. Its adherents have already provided one of the most powerful testimonies of Christ: their character and faith. And that, I will continue to attest to for the rest of my life.