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Scoot Over, Skinny: The Fat Nonfiction Anthology
As Americans are the fattest people on earth, the fat, the formerly fat, those who feel fat, and those who fear fat encompass just about all of us. In this surprising collection of pieces, almost half of which are original to this anthology, some of our most lively, provocative writers explore the many folds of fat that make up reality.
From David Sedaris's hilarious assessment of his father's fat prejudices in "A Shiner Like A Diamond" to Anne Lamott's self-prescribed cathartic weight loss remedies in "Hunger", Pam Houston's rich literary panorama in "Out of Habit I Start Apologizing," and psychiatrist Irving Yalom's deeply moving confrontation of his own biases in "Fat Lady," each piece in its unique way deals with fat as a matter of fact.
Sometimes funny, sometimes angry, often illuminating and always engaging, these writers make a new and compelling case for why we should make room for a bigger behind.
From David Sedaris's hilarious assessment of his father's fat prejudices in "A Shiner Like A Diamond" to Anne Lamott's self-prescribed cathartic weight loss remedies in "Hunger", Pam Houston's rich literary panorama in "Out of Habit I Start Apologizing," and psychiatrist Irving Yalom's deeply moving confrontation of his own biases in "Fat Lady," each piece in its unique way deals with fat as a matter of fact.
Sometimes funny, sometimes angry, often illuminating and always engaging, these writers make a new and compelling case for why we should make room for a bigger behind.
300 pages, Paperback
First published January 3, 2005
621 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
September 15, 2020
i was really excited to read this book. i thought it would be essays by fat people about their experiences. the back of the book says:
...these writers make a new and compelling case for why we should make room for a bigger behind.
so while i didn't want or expect fat appreciation or even fat acceptance, i did think the essays would be about or reflect why fat people aren't third class citizens deserving of hate and derision. but unfortunately, almost all of the essays were fat negative. the first essay ("letting myself go") wasn't exactly fat negative, but it did bring to light what many people think of fat people:
Recently I was talking with a friend who is naturally slender about a mutual acquaintance who is quite large. To my surprise my friend reproached this woman because she had seen her eating a cookie at lunchtime. "How is she going to lose weight that way?" my friend wondered. When you are as fat as our acquaintance is, you are primarily, fundamentally, seen as fat. It is your essential characteristic.
that's true. i see myself as fat before anything else, and i know others see me as fat before they see me as girl, funny, or smart. and this is why i don't like going out to eat anymore. i know everyone is looking at me wondering why, when i am this fat, i am eating anything besides lettuce. "queen of the gym" was one of the few essays that i felt was actually accepting of the author's fat. she wasn't upset or ashamed of her girth. she was going to the gym to be healthy and even though other people looked at her (you know how) she kept going. "the man who couldn't stop eating" was written by a doctor about his observations of his patient who had a 'roux-en-y' bypass surgery. it was detached and clinical, well-written, but still judgemental of how fat the patient had allowed himself to get. it was interesting to read about the surgery and the after care and the risks. informative. but still judgemental.
then there was "big game hunters," the one about hogging. Many guys claim the hog should be, and often is, grateful for their attentions. "Fat chicks never get liad, because no one wants to see 'em naked" ... "They feel appreciative just because a guy will let them give him a blow job" ... "The understand their place ... they know they're pigs. They don't get it like a normal girl could. They're desperate."let them give a blowjob? let? what the fuck. no one's clamoring to give a bj. let. pfft. but, this is what men think of fat women. not all men i'm sure, but all the men out in bars every night. they're out to use and degrate the fat women because it's easier to get a fat woman to put out, because then the guy doesn't have to try. and it's true. unfortunately. i've been the hog and i know it. i hate that i've been that thing. but at least i realize it. i hope other women do too.
and then there was "fat like him". a woman really liked the guy she was emailing with and was crushed when she met him and he was almost 300lbs. but because he liked her too, he started to lose weight for her. and when he was around 250, her friends accidentally met him. and couldn't stop staring at the 'fat man'. so she lied and said he was a coworker or something. and he was crushed and gained the weight back, because he realized she would only love him if he was thin. so she broke up with him. she liked, even loved him, but couldn't get past his fat. that's fucking great. she lost out on a possible life of love because she didn't want to date a fat man. it goes on like this. "fat lady" is about a shrink who was treating a fat patient and found her repulsive and it was only after she started losing weight and firming up that he fully dedicated himself to her therapy, until that point he never looked at her and spaced out during her treatment because she only talked about being fat and the associated social troubled, depression, etc. that's horrible. he didn't treat her properly (in the medical sense) because she was fat. um, discrimination much?
after that the essays weren't really about fatness anymore. they like, mentioned fat, but weren't about it as the others were. they all mentioned though, how fat is socially unacceptable and disgusting. so, i guess i'm glad i read this book, because now i realize more than ever how much people despise me because i'm fat. there are parents who would rather have their children sexually abused than have them be fat. people would rather lose a leg than be fat. people HATE HATE HATE fat people. we are despised and i truly think that they would send us off to confinement camps if they could.
i know that some of you think i exaggerate the comments that people (strangers) make to me about my weight. but i don't. they happen. i know that people hate me, and that unless i weigh 130, they always will (and even then some people will still think i'm fat). by they way, at the doc today, i learned that i weigh 276. she said i need to lose about 150 pounds. so she thinks i need to weigh 126. at 5'6" i think i would look funky that thin. anyway. 3/5.
...these writers make a new and compelling case for why we should make room for a bigger behind.
so while i didn't want or expect fat appreciation or even fat acceptance, i did think the essays would be about or reflect why fat people aren't third class citizens deserving of hate and derision. but unfortunately, almost all of the essays were fat negative. the first essay ("letting myself go") wasn't exactly fat negative, but it did bring to light what many people think of fat people:
Recently I was talking with a friend who is naturally slender about a mutual acquaintance who is quite large. To my surprise my friend reproached this woman because she had seen her eating a cookie at lunchtime. "How is she going to lose weight that way?" my friend wondered. When you are as fat as our acquaintance is, you are primarily, fundamentally, seen as fat. It is your essential characteristic.
that's true. i see myself as fat before anything else, and i know others see me as fat before they see me as girl, funny, or smart. and this is why i don't like going out to eat anymore. i know everyone is looking at me wondering why, when i am this fat, i am eating anything besides lettuce. "queen of the gym" was one of the few essays that i felt was actually accepting of the author's fat. she wasn't upset or ashamed of her girth. she was going to the gym to be healthy and even though other people looked at her (you know how) she kept going. "the man who couldn't stop eating" was written by a doctor about his observations of his patient who had a 'roux-en-y' bypass surgery. it was detached and clinical, well-written, but still judgemental of how fat the patient had allowed himself to get. it was interesting to read about the surgery and the after care and the risks. informative. but still judgemental.
then there was "big game hunters," the one about hogging. Many guys claim the hog should be, and often is, grateful for their attentions. "Fat chicks never get liad, because no one wants to see 'em naked" ... "They feel appreciative just because a guy will let them give him a blow job" ... "The understand their place ... they know they're pigs. They don't get it like a normal girl could. They're desperate."let them give a blowjob? let? what the fuck. no one's clamoring to give a bj. let. pfft. but, this is what men think of fat women. not all men i'm sure, but all the men out in bars every night. they're out to use and degrate the fat women because it's easier to get a fat woman to put out, because then the guy doesn't have to try. and it's true. unfortunately. i've been the hog and i know it. i hate that i've been that thing. but at least i realize it. i hope other women do too.
and then there was "fat like him". a woman really liked the guy she was emailing with and was crushed when she met him and he was almost 300lbs. but because he liked her too, he started to lose weight for her. and when he was around 250, her friends accidentally met him. and couldn't stop staring at the 'fat man'. so she lied and said he was a coworker or something. and he was crushed and gained the weight back, because he realized she would only love him if he was thin. so she broke up with him. she liked, even loved him, but couldn't get past his fat. that's fucking great. she lost out on a possible life of love because she didn't want to date a fat man. it goes on like this. "fat lady" is about a shrink who was treating a fat patient and found her repulsive and it was only after she started losing weight and firming up that he fully dedicated himself to her therapy, until that point he never looked at her and spaced out during her treatment because she only talked about being fat and the associated social troubled, depression, etc. that's horrible. he didn't treat her properly (in the medical sense) because she was fat. um, discrimination much?
after that the essays weren't really about fatness anymore. they like, mentioned fat, but weren't about it as the others were. they all mentioned though, how fat is socially unacceptable and disgusting. so, i guess i'm glad i read this book, because now i realize more than ever how much people despise me because i'm fat. there are parents who would rather have their children sexually abused than have them be fat. people would rather lose a leg than be fat. people HATE HATE HATE fat people. we are despised and i truly think that they would send us off to confinement camps if they could.
i know that some of you think i exaggerate the comments that people (strangers) make to me about my weight. but i don't. they happen. i know that people hate me, and that unless i weigh 130, they always will (and even then some people will still think i'm fat). by they way, at the doc today, i learned that i weigh 276. she said i need to lose about 150 pounds. so she thinks i need to weigh 126. at 5'6" i think i would look funky that thin. anyway. 3/5.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 19, 2010
Despite a couple murderously cruel essays ("Big Game Hunters" and "Fat Like Him") this collection is exceptionally smart and touching.
From "Fat Lady Nuding": "...I remove every extraneous article of clothing and all accessories and submit myself to the doctor's scale, to the mechanical contraption that has been given the power to determine the quality of the relationship I have with my body." Brilliant.
Meanwhile, Pam Houston's writing ("Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing") is just downright beautiful, along with Stephen Kuusisto's "Fatland" as he writes about "a time in [his:] life when for complicated reasons [he:] became quite fat," compounded by his blindness and how that influences his body image.
We also see things from a thoughtful doctor's perspective (Atul Gawande's "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating") and a harsh psychiatrist's view (Irvin Yalom's "Fat Lady"), both enriching, both complicating matters as practitioners looking from the outside, in.
Reading other reviews here, I'm in complete agreement that the jacket's description is off: "...these writers make a compelling case for why we should make room for a bigger behind." That's not the message.
Instead, the focus is more about what it's like to have a bigger frame in this thin obsessed society. And what's shared is mostly heavy, not lighthearted.
From "Fat Lady Nuding": "...I remove every extraneous article of clothing and all accessories and submit myself to the doctor's scale, to the mechanical contraption that has been given the power to determine the quality of the relationship I have with my body." Brilliant.
Meanwhile, Pam Houston's writing ("Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing") is just downright beautiful, along with Stephen Kuusisto's "Fatland" as he writes about "a time in [his:] life when for complicated reasons [he:] became quite fat," compounded by his blindness and how that influences his body image.
We also see things from a thoughtful doctor's perspective (Atul Gawande's "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating") and a harsh psychiatrist's view (Irvin Yalom's "Fat Lady"), both enriching, both complicating matters as practitioners looking from the outside, in.
Reading other reviews here, I'm in complete agreement that the jacket's description is off: "...these writers make a compelling case for why we should make room for a bigger behind." That's not the message.
Instead, the focus is more about what it's like to have a bigger frame in this thin obsessed society. And what's shared is mostly heavy, not lighthearted.
June 2, 2015
A collection of nonfiction essays about being fat and the attendant issues: self-esteem, politics, health, sex, etc. I’m a comfortable fatty myself, and I picked it up warily, but I found it to be mostly a good read overall.
Here’s what you need to know: in one of the earliest essays—I believe it’s Natalie Kusz’s “On Being Invisible”—the author recalls a group of women having a meal together and a thin woman declaring that she’d eaten too much, that her midsection was growing out of control (pinching it between her fingers to demonstrate), and that no man would ever want her if she continued. A much larger woman was part of the group and asked, reasonably, “so I guess no man wants me, either?” The thin woman deflected, saying she didn’t know her friend was looking to date. This is one of the many illustrative stories included in this collection that demonstrate the ways that fat people are minimized by others; they are treated as though they are failing, lacking, unfinished, unworthy people, people who don’t have (couldn’t possibly have) other struggles, other thoughts, other priorities in their lives that take precedence over their weight and their appearance.
If that anecdote, or my reading of it, doesn’t resonate with you—if it seems petty or self-indulgent—I would not recommend picking up this book, because everything this book wants to say is detailed in incidences like this one.
The essays that meant the least to me were the ones about the nagging of hunger and the shock of crash diets, about the shame cycle of losing and gaining. That has never been what we might call my personal fat experience. I liked the ones about people who were striving to meet emotional, intellectual, and even physical goals that had nothing to do with weight or size; the people who have accepted themselves as large people and live appropriately large lives. Pam Houston’s “Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing” was lovely and well-written. Cheryl Peck’s “Queen of the Gym” described a similar revelation I had at the gym one day: if I’m the fattest person here, I’m doing something right. I’m also fine with the ones where a fat person attempts to be cool with themselves, such as editor Donna Jarrell’s selection “Fat Lady Nuding,” in which she reluctantly attends a nudist New Year’s Eve party. They are all stories about how we can be interesting, multi-faceted men and women, but most people, when they look at us, think they know something fundamental about us: that person hates themselves and wants to lose weight. But then sometimes they are not thinking that; sometimes we are thinking that they think that. It’s all very complicated.
Those are the best stories from inside the fat cave. Some others come at it from different angles: journalistic, medical, psychological. Sarah Fenske’s selection is fairly outrageous: a journalist, she meets with some men who habitually pick up fat women in bars to sleep with them and then compare notes about who bagged the biggest hog and talk about how gross it was. She successfully walks the fine line between showing how absolutely odious they are, but also how pathetic they are, and how damaged in their own ways.
Atul Gawande, a major name in the medical humanities, is always worth reading; here, he profiles a man who has surgery to correct his morbid obesity, and Gawande shows the continuing battle beyond the surgery. A book about fatness cannot not include a story about the damage that can be wrought upon a body by it, and Gawande is one of the most impartial observers we have to write about it. From another angle—a fundamentally judgmental one—there is Irvin Yalom’s “Fat Lady,” about a shrink who struggles with the fact that he hates his overweight patient. And I hated him at first, for this, but over time, as his patient labors to lose weight, and he labors to connect with her, something pretty moving comes out of it.
The biggest names in the collection are David Sedaris and Anne Lamott, but both of their selections are forgettable. I knew from them being public figures that neither is an overweight person. Lamott’s essay suggests that she has grappled with bulimia, and is beautifully-written, as she does, but not particularly incisive about the trials of fatness.
Here’s what you need to know: in one of the earliest essays—I believe it’s Natalie Kusz’s “On Being Invisible”—the author recalls a group of women having a meal together and a thin woman declaring that she’d eaten too much, that her midsection was growing out of control (pinching it between her fingers to demonstrate), and that no man would ever want her if she continued. A much larger woman was part of the group and asked, reasonably, “so I guess no man wants me, either?” The thin woman deflected, saying she didn’t know her friend was looking to date. This is one of the many illustrative stories included in this collection that demonstrate the ways that fat people are minimized by others; they are treated as though they are failing, lacking, unfinished, unworthy people, people who don’t have (couldn’t possibly have) other struggles, other thoughts, other priorities in their lives that take precedence over their weight and their appearance.
If that anecdote, or my reading of it, doesn’t resonate with you—if it seems petty or self-indulgent—I would not recommend picking up this book, because everything this book wants to say is detailed in incidences like this one.
The essays that meant the least to me were the ones about the nagging of hunger and the shock of crash diets, about the shame cycle of losing and gaining. That has never been what we might call my personal fat experience. I liked the ones about people who were striving to meet emotional, intellectual, and even physical goals that had nothing to do with weight or size; the people who have accepted themselves as large people and live appropriately large lives. Pam Houston’s “Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing” was lovely and well-written. Cheryl Peck’s “Queen of the Gym” described a similar revelation I had at the gym one day: if I’m the fattest person here, I’m doing something right. I’m also fine with the ones where a fat person attempts to be cool with themselves, such as editor Donna Jarrell’s selection “Fat Lady Nuding,” in which she reluctantly attends a nudist New Year’s Eve party. They are all stories about how we can be interesting, multi-faceted men and women, but most people, when they look at us, think they know something fundamental about us: that person hates themselves and wants to lose weight. But then sometimes they are not thinking that; sometimes we are thinking that they think that. It’s all very complicated.
Those are the best stories from inside the fat cave. Some others come at it from different angles: journalistic, medical, psychological. Sarah Fenske’s selection is fairly outrageous: a journalist, she meets with some men who habitually pick up fat women in bars to sleep with them and then compare notes about who bagged the biggest hog and talk about how gross it was. She successfully walks the fine line between showing how absolutely odious they are, but also how pathetic they are, and how damaged in their own ways.
Atul Gawande, a major name in the medical humanities, is always worth reading; here, he profiles a man who has surgery to correct his morbid obesity, and Gawande shows the continuing battle beyond the surgery. A book about fatness cannot not include a story about the damage that can be wrought upon a body by it, and Gawande is one of the most impartial observers we have to write about it. From another angle—a fundamentally judgmental one—there is Irvin Yalom’s “Fat Lady,” about a shrink who struggles with the fact that he hates his overweight patient. And I hated him at first, for this, but over time, as his patient labors to lose weight, and he labors to connect with her, something pretty moving comes out of it.
The biggest names in the collection are David Sedaris and Anne Lamott, but both of their selections are forgettable. I knew from them being public figures that neither is an overweight person. Lamott’s essay suggests that she has grappled with bulimia, and is beautifully-written, as she does, but not particularly incisive about the trials of fatness.
August 25, 2008
An incredibly disturbing book. The stories are filled with wisdom and strength, but also self depreciation and loathing. I was most disturbed by Irvin Yalom's piece, both because it exposes the prejudices inherent in a physician, but also because the hate and disgust he feels towards obese women is intense. Is it ok to use a patient to confront one's own demons? This book of essays left me uncomfortable.
This is NOT a feel good book of stories about obese people having fulfilling lives. It is in parts crude, vulgar, and painful.
This is NOT a feel good book of stories about obese people having fulfilling lives. It is in parts crude, vulgar, and painful.
April 27, 2016
Donna Jarrell's and Ira Sukrungruang's anthologies (they also have a fat fiction anthology) have become important to me. Fall of 2013 I taught from the fiction anthology as part of a Contemporary Fiction class. None of my students were even chubby, let alone fat, so the anthology meant little to them--at first. I found that some of them were so thin because they had obsessive parents. One young man's father was obese and constantly trying to work it off. Another your woman's mother was a personal trainer who warned over and over the dangers of eating the "wrong foods" and becoming fat.
However, when I read this nonfiction anthology, I felt a deeper connection because these were real people explaining in words that I often couldn't put together the way they felt about fat. The authors are not all fat or obese; some are quite thin, but write to explain how they feel about seeing or being with fat people.
In "Letting Myself Go," Sallie Tisdale weights about 165 lbs, a weight many fat people would kill to be. She is a frequent dieter. She notes, "The pettiness is never far away; concern with my weight evokes the smallest, meanest parts of me. I look at another woman passing on the street and think, At least I'm not that fat." I myself have had such thoughts, and so Tisdale made me consider how I internalize the bodies of others.
Natalie Kusz writes in "On Being Invisible" that she takes up more space, but is less seen. She points out, "The fact is, the old racist attitude that 'all black (or Asian or Latin) people look alike' also applies to fat people, with the same main corollary: We look alike to other beings because they cannot see us at all." I was surprised by this comparison and began to reassess the way I look at people I see who take up more room. Do I look away? Do I see these people as all the same because they have one shared quality?
"Tight Fits" by Ira Sukrungruang is more like a guide with examples. How does an obese person get around the challenges of getting into small places, like airplane seats or sacred temples in Thailand. The goal seems to be to avoid embarrassment, and I felt embarrassed that I've considered such tactics myself (only in different scenarios). The accommodations for others can feel endless when you are abandoned for being "too big."
Atul Gawande describes "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating" from a doctor's point of view. Gawande is always concerned that his patient will regain all of the weight lost after gastric bypass surgery. It turns out that he learns the patient is also concerned. Is this problem bigger than his desires? I really liked seeing the exchanges between the doctor and patient outside of the hospital because the doctor could give facts from a medical standpoint while still engaging with the human patient who fears for his life and wonders how quality it can be if he remains morbidly obese.
I thought it was a fantastic choice on the part of the editors to put Sondra Solovay's piece "Now You See Me, Now You Don't" right after Gawande's essay. While Gawande describes the high success rates of G.B. surgery and how it is the best option medical science has, Solovay points out immediately that she had a friend who was 310 lbs looking happy in on the steps of a pyramid in El Salvador. And how that friend had G.B. surgery and died. What this achieves is showing readers that no matter which option is the best in terms of losing weight, they can all be dangerous. Should the 310 lb friend have continued her life at 310 lbs? A friend of mine who had G.B. surgery and became pregnant and then regained most of the weight pointed out to me that she cut up her insides to get society to look at her. She has a lot of health problems now, and I'm not sure how long she'll be a mother to her toddler.
Steven A. Shaw celebrates being a chubby man in "Fat Guys Kick Ass." This is mostly a list of ways that fat guys are better lovers and boyfriends who are stronger but more peaceful. This is a very fun-loving piece that makes me rethink what others feel internally. Not all fat people feel bad inside, I must remember.
Many other readers have commented on the remaining essays (written by giants like David Sedaris and Anne Lamott or that describe a thin person's hate for fat individuals, like Irvin Yalom or the "hoggers"), but one that struck me was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She was so happy when she didn't know that Tim, who was on the other end of her email, was fat. When they are together, she is embarrassed that people will think she's with him and she calls him a friend. At home, though, they have fantastic sex and she is very happy with him. However, I read that Gottlieb's essay is mostly untrue. This could be the result of her stretching the truth, or it could be that her ex is humiliated, and why wouldn't he be? This is the sort of thing that really requires prior approval since the situation is so specific (no one will not know who this guy is in real life whether we call him "Tim" or not).
Overall, this book made me assess myself and the way others perceive me and the way I perceive them, regardless of size, but with fat in mind.
Originally posted on Grab the Lapels.
However, when I read this nonfiction anthology, I felt a deeper connection because these were real people explaining in words that I often couldn't put together the way they felt about fat. The authors are not all fat or obese; some are quite thin, but write to explain how they feel about seeing or being with fat people.
In "Letting Myself Go," Sallie Tisdale weights about 165 lbs, a weight many fat people would kill to be. She is a frequent dieter. She notes, "The pettiness is never far away; concern with my weight evokes the smallest, meanest parts of me. I look at another woman passing on the street and think, At least I'm not that fat." I myself have had such thoughts, and so Tisdale made me consider how I internalize the bodies of others.
Natalie Kusz writes in "On Being Invisible" that she takes up more space, but is less seen. She points out, "The fact is, the old racist attitude that 'all black (or Asian or Latin) people look alike' also applies to fat people, with the same main corollary: We look alike to other beings because they cannot see us at all." I was surprised by this comparison and began to reassess the way I look at people I see who take up more room. Do I look away? Do I see these people as all the same because they have one shared quality?
"Tight Fits" by Ira Sukrungruang is more like a guide with examples. How does an obese person get around the challenges of getting into small places, like airplane seats or sacred temples in Thailand. The goal seems to be to avoid embarrassment, and I felt embarrassed that I've considered such tactics myself (only in different scenarios). The accommodations for others can feel endless when you are abandoned for being "too big."
Atul Gawande describes "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating" from a doctor's point of view. Gawande is always concerned that his patient will regain all of the weight lost after gastric bypass surgery. It turns out that he learns the patient is also concerned. Is this problem bigger than his desires? I really liked seeing the exchanges between the doctor and patient outside of the hospital because the doctor could give facts from a medical standpoint while still engaging with the human patient who fears for his life and wonders how quality it can be if he remains morbidly obese.
I thought it was a fantastic choice on the part of the editors to put Sondra Solovay's piece "Now You See Me, Now You Don't" right after Gawande's essay. While Gawande describes the high success rates of G.B. surgery and how it is the best option medical science has, Solovay points out immediately that she had a friend who was 310 lbs looking happy in on the steps of a pyramid in El Salvador. And how that friend had G.B. surgery and died. What this achieves is showing readers that no matter which option is the best in terms of losing weight, they can all be dangerous. Should the 310 lb friend have continued her life at 310 lbs? A friend of mine who had G.B. surgery and became pregnant and then regained most of the weight pointed out to me that she cut up her insides to get society to look at her. She has a lot of health problems now, and I'm not sure how long she'll be a mother to her toddler.
Steven A. Shaw celebrates being a chubby man in "Fat Guys Kick Ass." This is mostly a list of ways that fat guys are better lovers and boyfriends who are stronger but more peaceful. This is a very fun-loving piece that makes me rethink what others feel internally. Not all fat people feel bad inside, I must remember.
Many other readers have commented on the remaining essays (written by giants like David Sedaris and Anne Lamott or that describe a thin person's hate for fat individuals, like Irvin Yalom or the "hoggers"), but one that struck me was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She was so happy when she didn't know that Tim, who was on the other end of her email, was fat. When they are together, she is embarrassed that people will think she's with him and she calls him a friend. At home, though, they have fantastic sex and she is very happy with him. However, I read that Gottlieb's essay is mostly untrue. This could be the result of her stretching the truth, or it could be that her ex is humiliated, and why wouldn't he be? This is the sort of thing that really requires prior approval since the situation is so specific (no one will not know who this guy is in real life whether we call him "Tim" or not).
Overall, this book made me assess myself and the way others perceive me and the way I perceive them, regardless of size, but with fat in mind.
Originally posted on Grab the Lapels.
October 8, 2014
Some of the stories in this book scream, "YEAH! FAT POWER!" Some are cautionary tales of being fat and the dangers it entails. Some are funny, some are sad, and some induce rage the likes of which I hadn't felt toward a book since Professor Umbridge.
This book is a rarity among the fattie books. It shows fat FROM ALL SIDES. Positive, negative, the skinny bitches we hate, the skinny boys who settle for the fat chick at the end of the night because fat chicks'll do anyone (and be grateful for the chance). And, perhaps what makes this book one of the MOST original fattie books out there... it addresses things from the fat male perspective, too. A first in my experience!
This book is a rarity among the fattie books. It shows fat FROM ALL SIDES. Positive, negative, the skinny bitches we hate, the skinny boys who settle for the fat chick at the end of the night because fat chicks'll do anyone (and be grateful for the chance). And, perhaps what makes this book one of the MOST original fattie books out there... it addresses things from the fat male perspective, too. A first in my experience!
October 1, 2011
A collection fo storeis on being fat. Reading this I can identify with the self-loathing, the endless dieting, the diry looks and sharp comments, made supposedly for my own good. Fat people need to read this, because after having read it, we will treat our bodies a little more kindly. And skinny people need to read this, because they need to know how much ignorance about this hurts. Some parts sad, some parts enraging, but oh so hopeful
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April 3, 2008I HATED THIS BOOK! I was so upset that I ended up ripping it up and throwing it in the trash.
To make a long story short: I expected some inspiring stories from fellow "fatties" and I got fat hating, offensive crap!
Read my blog for details: http://staceyyouarehere.blogspot.com/...
To make a long story short: I expected some inspiring stories from fellow "fatties" and I got fat hating, offensive crap!
Read my blog for details: http://staceyyouarehere.blogspot.com/...
November 6, 2012
Some of the essays are really good, while others are... not so much.
September 8, 2020
A caveat to this review: I'm thin. I'm sure that influences how I experienced this book.
I didn't go into this book expecting it to be straight body positivity and all about acceptance. I expected some of that, but mostly I thought it was going to be fat authors discussing their experiences. That is kind of how it was described on the back. It was partially like that, but so much of this book was just actively unpleasant. I was kind of okay to sit through that when it was fat writers discussing their own unpleasant thoughts and experiences, but there were a number of essays by thin authors that were horrible to read.
The standout was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She is a thin woman who once dated a fat man and basically just treated him horribly because of his weight for the entire 40 pages of the essay until they broke up. And then she expressed no remorse and said her friends were full of shit for calling her closed minded. I'd like to give that particularly essay negative stars because it's one of the most vile things I've ever read.
There was also an essay about men who dehumanize and have sex with fat women and talk about how gross it is afterward and another essay written by a therapist who was incredibly fatphobic toward a patient. One essay was by a doctor about gastric bypass surgery and while the information about the surgery was interesting, his personal prejudice was woven throughout it.
But it seemed like a disservice to some of the other authors to rate this book lower than three stars because for every awful essay, there was an interesting one that actually did hold some insights for people's experiences. Some were really lovely to read. Pam Houston's and Donna Jarrell's essays ("Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing" and "Fat Lady Nuding" respectively) were both standouts. They made the book worth it, along with a few others that I found worthwhile.
I honestly picked up this book because I like essays and specifically noticed David Sedaris and Anne Lamott were among the authors, but Sedaris's essay was fine while forgettable. Anne Lamott's was beautiful, as is most her writing, and mostly focuses on her history of eating disorders, but doesn't really have anything to do with fatness.
But I couldn't recommend this book just for the awful essays. They, and Lori Gottlieb specifically who I looked up so I can be sure to never read her again, tainted this whole book for me. Which is disappointing because I do think a number of the essays were worth reading. If you can find Jarrell's or Houston's essays elsewhere, I'd recommend them if nothing else.
I didn't go into this book expecting it to be straight body positivity and all about acceptance. I expected some of that, but mostly I thought it was going to be fat authors discussing their experiences. That is kind of how it was described on the back. It was partially like that, but so much of this book was just actively unpleasant. I was kind of okay to sit through that when it was fat writers discussing their own unpleasant thoughts and experiences, but there were a number of essays by thin authors that were horrible to read.
The standout was "Fat Like Him" by Lori Gottlieb. She is a thin woman who once dated a fat man and basically just treated him horribly because of his weight for the entire 40 pages of the essay until they broke up. And then she expressed no remorse and said her friends were full of shit for calling her closed minded. I'd like to give that particularly essay negative stars because it's one of the most vile things I've ever read.
There was also an essay about men who dehumanize and have sex with fat women and talk about how gross it is afterward and another essay written by a therapist who was incredibly fatphobic toward a patient. One essay was by a doctor about gastric bypass surgery and while the information about the surgery was interesting, his personal prejudice was woven throughout it.
But it seemed like a disservice to some of the other authors to rate this book lower than three stars because for every awful essay, there was an interesting one that actually did hold some insights for people's experiences. Some were really lovely to read. Pam Houston's and Donna Jarrell's essays ("Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing" and "Fat Lady Nuding" respectively) were both standouts. They made the book worth it, along with a few others that I found worthwhile.
I honestly picked up this book because I like essays and specifically noticed David Sedaris and Anne Lamott were among the authors, but Sedaris's essay was fine while forgettable. Anne Lamott's was beautiful, as is most her writing, and mostly focuses on her history of eating disorders, but doesn't really have anything to do with fatness.
But I couldn't recommend this book just for the awful essays. They, and Lori Gottlieb specifically who I looked up so I can be sure to never read her again, tainted this whole book for me. Which is disappointing because I do think a number of the essays were worth reading. If you can find Jarrell's or Houston's essays elsewhere, I'd recommend them if nothing else.
June 27, 2021
3.5 stars. Despite its unfortunate title, this book was decent. Only one essay, “Fat Guys Kick Ass” actually bothered me and there were some really valuable pieces included.
April 6, 2021
3/3.5 stars
Anthologies with works by a range of authors are inherently difficult to rate. I am rating this highly because all of the essays included were written with skill. I didn't think the collection as a whole was very cohesive, but the breadth of approaches was good and it will challenge any reader. It's obvious that some of the essays were included due to prestige / clout of the author (e.g. David Sedaris) not because they are particularly relevant.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, especially as some essays are quite grotesque philosophically and have explicit content (though it is obvious that the intent is to be grotesque and shock the reader, not to scintillate). Still, an interesting collection.
Out of order, the essays included are roughly on these topics:
(* = my favorites of the collection)
Transient Obesity / Disordered Eating:
- "Big Time" - Victor LaValle - somewhat forgettable
- "Fatland" - Stephen Kuusisto - same
- "Hunger" - Anne Lamott - One of the least relevant to the collection, but an interesting essay.
Judgement and Assumptions:
- "On Being Invisible" - Natalie Kusz - Social challenges of obesity
- *"Fat Lady" - Irvin Yalom - This one challenged / frustrated me at times but I found it highly engaging and interesting.
- "A Shiner Like a Diamond" - David Sedaris - Very funny, but one of the least relevant to the collection.
Obesity Dehumanizers: (These are the most controversial essays in the collection and both contain explicit sexual content)
- "Big Game Hunters" - Sarah Fenske - Bold move to include this one. It's an unforgettable and horrid essay.
- "Fat Like Him" - Lori Gottlieb - Extremely memorable and extremely grotesque behavior by the author. I think many can relate to the disappointment of someone they meet from the internet, but this author brings it to next level. I find it shocking that anyone would do this and then write about it. Knowing this author is a therapist (I've read her other book) makes this even more bewildering... Not that therapists are perfect, but honestly...
Health Quests:
- "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating" - Atul Gawande - I read this in Gawande's Complications (an excellent book) and it is a strong addition to this collection. More in this style would have been welcome.
- "Sympathetic Pregnancies" - Michael Martone - forgettable
- *"Queen of the Gym" - Cheryl Peck - I liked this one!
- "Now You See Me, Now You Don't" - Sondra Solovay - Definitely added something unique to this collection. Challenging.
Living your best life:
- "Letting Myself Go" - Sallie Tisdale
- "Tight Fits" - Ira Sukrungruang - Quite funny, contains some mature content if I recall correctly.
- "Fat Guys Kick Ass" - Steven A. Shaw - Nice addition the collection
- *"Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing" - Pam Houston - I am going to read more by this author!
- "Fat Lady Nuding" - Donna Jarrell - Aside from the nudity, not very memorable
Anthologies with works by a range of authors are inherently difficult to rate. I am rating this highly because all of the essays included were written with skill. I didn't think the collection as a whole was very cohesive, but the breadth of approaches was good and it will challenge any reader. It's obvious that some of the essays were included due to prestige / clout of the author (e.g. David Sedaris) not because they are particularly relevant.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, especially as some essays are quite grotesque philosophically and have explicit content (though it is obvious that the intent is to be grotesque and shock the reader, not to scintillate). Still, an interesting collection.
Out of order, the essays included are roughly on these topics:
(* = my favorites of the collection)
Transient Obesity / Disordered Eating:
- "Big Time" - Victor LaValle - somewhat forgettable
- "Fatland" - Stephen Kuusisto - same
- "Hunger" - Anne Lamott - One of the least relevant to the collection, but an interesting essay.
Judgement and Assumptions:
- "On Being Invisible" - Natalie Kusz - Social challenges of obesity
- *"Fat Lady" - Irvin Yalom - This one challenged / frustrated me at times but I found it highly engaging and interesting.
- "A Shiner Like a Diamond" - David Sedaris - Very funny, but one of the least relevant to the collection.
Obesity Dehumanizers: (These are the most controversial essays in the collection and both contain explicit sexual content)
- "Big Game Hunters" - Sarah Fenske - Bold move to include this one. It's an unforgettable and horrid essay.
- "Fat Like Him" - Lori Gottlieb - Extremely memorable and extremely grotesque behavior by the author. I think many can relate to the disappointment of someone they meet from the internet, but this author brings it to next level. I find it shocking that anyone would do this and then write about it. Knowing this author is a therapist (I've read her other book) makes this even more bewildering... Not that therapists are perfect, but honestly...
Health Quests:
- "The Man Who Couldn't Stop Eating" - Atul Gawande - I read this in Gawande's Complications (an excellent book) and it is a strong addition to this collection. More in this style would have been welcome.
- "Sympathetic Pregnancies" - Michael Martone - forgettable
- *"Queen of the Gym" - Cheryl Peck - I liked this one!
- "Now You See Me, Now You Don't" - Sondra Solovay - Definitely added something unique to this collection. Challenging.
Living your best life:
- "Letting Myself Go" - Sallie Tisdale
- "Tight Fits" - Ira Sukrungruang - Quite funny, contains some mature content if I recall correctly.
- "Fat Guys Kick Ass" - Steven A. Shaw - Nice addition the collection
- *"Out of Habit, I Start Apologizing" - Pam Houston - I am going to read more by this author!
- "Fat Lady Nuding" - Donna Jarrell - Aside from the nudity, not very memorable
October 26, 2011
This collection examines body image and the issue of obesity from an array of angles. There are anecdotes from those battling their weight, several people who have embraced their size, and even the “others”: average and small people who see being fat from an entirely different side. Several essays make up an engaging argument for and against gastric bypass surgery, which were my favorite set of pieces. “The Man Who Couldn’t Stop Eating” was a narrative journalism-style look at a man with compulsive eating issues before and after his surgery. “Now You See Me, Now You Don’t” brought to light the dire risks of going under the knife to slim down. Less successful was “Fat Lady,” a psychiatrist’s recount of treating an obese patient. His clinical and patronizing tone was an ill fit with all of the other witty, snarky and heartfelt voices. The collection went out on a high note with “Fat Lady Nuding,” a memorable story about the writer’s constant struggle with love and loathing of her body. Altogether a solid anthology of wildly varying experiences and insights.
February 5, 2017
This is hard to rate.
It's not what I wanted it to be, but what it is may be important to many. I wanted a fat positive anthology, start to finish. This includes some of that, but that's not what it is- which is fair, as it's stories from various people who are or have been fat (mostly- there are a couple of stories that are not written from a fat POV) and not everyone has found their way to body acceptance and love. Some of the stories are wonderful (I particularly enjoyed Fat Lady Nuding at the end), some are painful to read (Tight Fits was poignant and powerful and hard), some made me want to throw the book through a window (Big Game Hunting, Fat Like Him)- and some were deeply disappointing (Fat Lady). I'm still confused as to why David Sedaris' entry is even included, if I'm honest with you, as it has nothing to do with the actual experience of being fat in any way (Shiner Like a Diamond).
Overall, I'm glad to have read it, even if it wasn't what I wanted it to be.
It's not what I wanted it to be, but what it is may be important to many. I wanted a fat positive anthology, start to finish. This includes some of that, but that's not what it is- which is fair, as it's stories from various people who are or have been fat (mostly- there are a couple of stories that are not written from a fat POV) and not everyone has found their way to body acceptance and love. Some of the stories are wonderful (I particularly enjoyed Fat Lady Nuding at the end), some are painful to read (Tight Fits was poignant and powerful and hard), some made me want to throw the book through a window (Big Game Hunting, Fat Like Him)- and some were deeply disappointing (Fat Lady). I'm still confused as to why David Sedaris' entry is even included, if I'm honest with you, as it has nothing to do with the actual experience of being fat in any way (Shiner Like a Diamond).
Overall, I'm glad to have read it, even if it wasn't what I wanted it to be.
April 19, 2009
This is a collection of essays relating to the experiences and stories of individuals who are obese. Some of the essays I could have done without, but others are very compelling and enlightening.
I believe it is relevant to those who are of a normal weight, as well. I found it helpful in that it brought to the surface prejudices and feelings that I thought about myself every day without even realizing it. It is a useful tool in identifying attitudes toward fat people in our society (and in ourselves) that are often unspoken.
I would recommend this book to anyone whose life has been influenced or affected by weight issues (no matter what kind of issues), as well as to anyone who has a close relationship with a person whose weight affected his or her life. This is not a good read, however, for those looking for a warm and fuzzy feel-good book.
I believe it is relevant to those who are of a normal weight, as well. I found it helpful in that it brought to the surface prejudices and feelings that I thought about myself every day without even realizing it. It is a useful tool in identifying attitudes toward fat people in our society (and in ourselves) that are often unspoken.
I would recommend this book to anyone whose life has been influenced or affected by weight issues (no matter what kind of issues), as well as to anyone who has a close relationship with a person whose weight affected his or her life. This is not a good read, however, for those looking for a warm and fuzzy feel-good book.
June 29, 2011
I am just a few essays in and I can tell you this is going to be a fabulous read. I was expecting something funny about being a large woman in America but instead it is a series of essays about how we treat large people, how we feel about our bodies ( regardless of size) and how our bodies greatly determine our self worth. Definitely worth reading. *** just finished. It was so good, incredibly honest and open. Oh but I should warn you, this book examines the human body and how we view our bodies affects all aspects of our lives, the content and language are not censored at all, but to me that really adds to the effectiveness of the stories. It is very human.
September 23, 2018
Fat or not, one can still relate to the stories in this anthology. It tackles the topic of ~fatness in such a way how others would discuss anorexia, addiction, etc. For instance, there are stories about fat being invisible, fat being too visible, fat being hated, fat being rejected, fat being loved, and of course, fat being lived. Some of the stories were inspirational and funny, like "Queen of the Gym," whose author is a 200+pounder who goes to the gym daily and finds out she has become an inspiration to some people there, and of course, David Sedaris' story about her sister's fat suit.
December 15, 2018
Súper variado e interesante. Me lo prestó mi hermana que vivía en USA, y que lo tenía en inglés. Definitivamente vale la pena de leer, aunque sin tomar conclusiones apresuradas de la visión de cada historia. No todas son igual de objetivas, por así decirlo, ni son presentadas con el mismo ánimo. Algunas, de hecho, son bastante crueles y sin necesidad de serlo, lo que no hace más que graficar cómo el sobrepeso es a veces todavía más violento para quienes lo presencian que para quienes lo viven. Sin razón ni justicia, dicho sea de paso.
October 30, 2007
Wow. This book evoked really powerful emotions from me- from insane laughter to sleep-depriving rage. I was particularly intrigued by reading the thoughts of individuals on the slimmer end of the spectrum reacting to those of us on the other end. I asked my very lanky greenbean boyfriend to read it. While I probably convinced him, I wish I could get other skinny folks to read it too.
June 19, 2009
Varied collection of essays dealing with food and weight related issues. As would be expected, some are better than others. Lori Gottleib, author of Stick Figure, and Anne Lamott offer two of the better opines. In general, welcome attitudes in regards to society's inappropriate obsession with body size.
January 9, 2015
I gained some insights from a few of these essays that will help me better understand some people in my life who are obese. A couple of essays were cruel and offensive to humanity, not just fat people. A couple were pretty funny--especially the one by David Sedaris. Read with curiosity about people and what makes them tick, this was interesting.
March 26, 2011
This was so incredibly boring and not at all what I expected. I liked the David Sedaris story and the stories about the gastic bypass patients and the girl who went to therapy in CA. Those were the types of stories I expected throughout the book.. unfortunately it just did not deliver for me.
February 16, 2009
Collection of short stories that I originally bought because I knew one of the authors (Ira Sukrungruang) but found that I loved because of the sheer honesty.
January 9, 2010
It wasn't the best collection of fattie stuff. Some were great, some were horrible and outdated.
September 1, 2021
I didn't always like the stories within. A couple of them were seriously brutal and it was all I could do just to finish them. But I learned soooo much from reading this collection.
I'm not an introvert. I'm fun and I'm flashy and I'm fat. Too fat. Unhealthy as I age, fat. My joints complain while my muscles try and compensate for the 100+ extra pounds I carry every day. And I find that I could use a therapy group a lot more than I could use a weight loss group.
So many things that I felt completely isolated in are felt every day by someone, somewhere. My "issue" is right out there in front. For all the world to see. I never imagined I'd see so many, so much like mine, in one collection of writing your truth about fat.
I will reread it each year, the first week of the year and I'll learn even more, every time I do. It's like I mined into a vein of understanding and have only now, upon completion, started to suspect I may have found a mother lode.
I'm not an introvert. I'm fun and I'm flashy and I'm fat. Too fat. Unhealthy as I age, fat. My joints complain while my muscles try and compensate for the 100+ extra pounds I carry every day. And I find that I could use a therapy group a lot more than I could use a weight loss group.
So many things that I felt completely isolated in are felt every day by someone, somewhere. My "issue" is right out there in front. For all the world to see. I never imagined I'd see so many, so much like mine, in one collection of writing your truth about fat.
I will reread it each year, the first week of the year and I'll learn even more, every time I do. It's like I mined into a vein of understanding and have only now, upon completion, started to suspect I may have found a mother lode.
August 18, 2021
This book presents very interesting viewpoints, and it provokes a lot of emotion. Some of the essays are horrifying in their portrayal of American culture's view of fat and fat people. I wish there hadn't been as much explicit sexual content, and because of that I can't recommend the book.
February 8, 2020
This collection of essays really sings in the second half, with sparkling essays on weight and body image by Anne Lamott, Pam Houston, Lori Gottlieb, David Sedaris, and Atul Gawande.
July 29, 2022
I have mixed feelings about this book. It's brilliantly written and the author does a phenomenal job of getting you to feel for the protagonist, but I found it really disturbing. I won't read it again, but you might like it if you enjoy reading about pain and suffering which, I guess, is kind of what this book is all about.
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