What do you think?
Rate this book
Before Women Had Wings
My name is Avocet Abigail Jackson. But because Mama couldn't find anyone who thought Avocet was a fine name for a child, she called me Bird. Which is okay by me. She named both her children after birds, her logic being that if we were named for something with wings then maybe we'd be able to fly above the shit in our lives. . . .
So says Bird Jackson, the mesmerizing narrator of Connie May Fowler's vivid and brilliantly written, Before Women Had Wings .
Starstruck by a dime-store picture of Jesus, Bird fancies herself "His girlfriend" and embarks upon a spiritual quest for salvation, even as the chaos of her home life plunges her into a stony silence. In stark and honest language, she tells the tragic life of her father, a sweet-talking wanna-be country music star, tracks her older sister's perilous journey into womanhood, and witnesses her mother make a courageous and ultimately devastating decision.
Yet most profound is Bird's own story--her struggle to sift through the ashes of her parents' lives, her meeting with Miss Zora, a healer whose prayers over the bones of winged creatures are meant to guide their souls to heaven, and her will to make sense of a world where fear is more plentiful than hope, retribution more valued than love. . . .
So says Bird Jackson, the mesmerizing narrator of Connie May Fowler's vivid and brilliantly written, Before Women Had Wings .
Starstruck by a dime-store picture of Jesus, Bird fancies herself "His girlfriend" and embarks upon a spiritual quest for salvation, even as the chaos of her home life plunges her into a stony silence. In stark and honest language, she tells the tragic life of her father, a sweet-talking wanna-be country music star, tracks her older sister's perilous journey into womanhood, and witnesses her mother make a courageous and ultimately devastating decision.
Yet most profound is Bird's own story--her struggle to sift through the ashes of her parents' lives, her meeting with Miss Zora, a healer whose prayers over the bones of winged creatures are meant to guide their souls to heaven, and her will to make sense of a world where fear is more plentiful than hope, retribution more valued than love. . . .
279 pages, Paperback
First published May 7, 1996
57 people are currently reading
3410 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 390 reviews
February 20, 2012
This book should be depressing. It really should be, but when I read the final word and closed the book for the last time, I came away with an awesome sense of hope. Connie May Fowler expertly explores themes of growing up, poverty, abuse, abandonment and grief. The graphic descriptions of abuse, both physical and verbal, turned my stomach, but rather than being voyeuristic, the pain enhanced the feeling of hope. Readers actually believed that the characters could break out of the spiral they find themselves in. In fact most of the dramatic tension comes in the interplay between the hope and the disappointment. Fowler captures the voice of a young girl, masterfully, looking at the world through her eyes we explore it as a child would, see it as a child would and ask questions that a child would ask when living in a grown up world. Before Women Had Wings is both heart breaking and restoring.
June 30, 2021
I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this book. There are just too many wonderful books to read in this world, and this was one of them. Gorgeous prose, strong voice, unique insights that raise this typical story of abuse to something greater. I'm heading over to check out her other books!
March 17, 2008
I LOVED this book! It takes place in the mid sixies in Florida and is narrated by a young girl who was the same age I was when I lived in Florida then. I could just breathe that humid, salty clime that was part and parcel of my childhood! But this book has a serious theme--the abuse, alcoholism, and poverty that children are victims to through no fault of their own. It is painful to visit such themes but the wonderful "grace-note" of a surprising savior to the protaganist, Bird (how southern a name--I had a great Aunt Bird in my life...) I want all my girlfriends to read this book. I got my copy from the library.
June 22, 2012
My sister gave me this book to read and I put it on the shelf. My younger daughter picked it up a year later and read it because she just wanted something to read. When she finished, she came and laid down next to me, started crying and said I love you Mom. After that, I read the book and it so resonated with me and I felt that some of my sister and my lives were in there. And I called my mom and told her I loved her. More importantly, I gained some understanding and insight into her life. I sobbed during this book - it really touched me.
March 13, 2024
This semi-autobiographical novel is narrated by Bird, a young girl whose parents are alcoholics and child abusers. I didn't find her voice to be consistent: sometimes her observations had the sweet naivete of a child, and sometimes they were filled with the insight of an adult who had completed years of therapy. Essentially, it is Fowler's attempts to capture the facts of her violent and sad childhood, and I applaud her for honesty, if not for consistency of voice. She didn't hold back on her depiction of her mother who was a mean-spirited drunk, but I think she gave her father a softer ride. (He died when she was seven, so it could be that she has more memories of her mother). I was often horrified with the narrative, but never bored. Fowler is a good writer, but I think this novel suffers from her desire to write down the truth, resulting in a novel that sometimes feels distanced from its subject. There is also an oppressive weight to the narrative, which is really a chronicle of incidences of child abuse. I think it might have been therapeutic for Fowler to write it, and likely readers who had a similar childhood would also get an emotional release, and that is what accounted for the book's popularity. The ending is the only part that is pure fiction, and it did not work for me, feeling like a simplistic resolution.
Fowler says she has forgiven her parents, but also says she keeps these memories close as a kind of obsession. The way out of any obsession is to understand the reason you entered the obsession. Fowler may have done a lot of work on forgiveness, and certainly she demonstrates insight into her childhood, but my feeling is that there is more for Fowler to discover about her emotions. She would not have written that ending, or admitted to an ongoing obsession or in fact wished for her mother to come back in real life (her mother died when she was in college) if she was not in denial about parts of her life. I wish her peace, and a believable ending to a story of pain.
Fowler says she has forgiven her parents, but also says she keeps these memories close as a kind of obsession. The way out of any obsession is to understand the reason you entered the obsession. Fowler may have done a lot of work on forgiveness, and certainly she demonstrates insight into her childhood, but my feeling is that there is more for Fowler to discover about her emotions. She would not have written that ending, or admitted to an ongoing obsession or in fact wished for her mother to come back in real life (her mother died when she was in college) if she was not in denial about parts of her life. I wish her peace, and a believable ending to a story of pain.
October 30, 2012
"Details are what I'm about - stacks and stacks of details - the bones of my family, calcified vessels, the marrow chock-full of wishes and regrets. In my mind I pick up the bones one by one - a leg bone, a hip, then a spine that looks like a witch's ladder. Before you know it, this skeleton made of memories is rattling me."
So begins the tale of a six year old girl in 1965 Florida. The tale is rich in details that convey the stifling humidity, the salty scents, and the ring of the cidadas. Avocet Abigal Jackson tells her story of finding her own wings while trying to be strong for a family that has lost it's bearings. The imagery is vivid, the writing captivating.
I loved loved loved this tale and couldn't put the book down. I found this book on an airline, in the seat pocket. There is a name and address on a slip of paper that fell into my lap when I reached page 143. I am considering one of two options:
A) Sending the book to that address along with a note of appreciation for letting me 'discover' it.
B) Leaving the book on another flight for someone else to discover it, and then sending a thank you note to the address I found in the book.
What would you do with a phenomenal book?
So begins the tale of a six year old girl in 1965 Florida. The tale is rich in details that convey the stifling humidity, the salty scents, and the ring of the cidadas. Avocet Abigal Jackson tells her story of finding her own wings while trying to be strong for a family that has lost it's bearings. The imagery is vivid, the writing captivating.
I loved loved loved this tale and couldn't put the book down. I found this book on an airline, in the seat pocket. There is a name and address on a slip of paper that fell into my lap when I reached page 143. I am considering one of two options:
A) Sending the book to that address along with a note of appreciation for letting me 'discover' it.
B) Leaving the book on another flight for someone else to discover it, and then sending a thank you note to the address I found in the book.
What would you do with a phenomenal book?
August 17, 2010
I had always wanted to read this book because Connie May Fowler was a member of the writing community where I lived in Central Florida from 2004-2006, and I saw her frequently at literary events, and I'd heard great things about this book. I finally decided that this was the summer off from teaching that I would read it, and I'm so pleased that I did.
Connie May Fowler can create sympathy in dysfunctional characters in a way that few other writers can. I really enjoyed her portrayal of the young sisters Bird and Phoebe coping with their abusive parents and the fact that the parents were round, believable characters. I felt that the conclusion of the book was wrapped up a little too quickly, but it was a five-star read nonetheless.
Connie May Fowler can create sympathy in dysfunctional characters in a way that few other writers can. I really enjoyed her portrayal of the young sisters Bird and Phoebe coping with their abusive parents and the fact that the parents were round, believable characters. I felt that the conclusion of the book was wrapped up a little too quickly, but it was a five-star read nonetheless.
March 30, 2021
I read this book years ago when it released and was a hot title on Oprah's Book Club. I picked it up again, remembering that I enjoyed it and wanting a good read. I didn't remember what it was about.
Bird is a young girl in a terrible situation. After her father commits suicide, her alcoholic and abusive mother relocates Bird and her sister to Tampa, FL, where they live in a motel in poverty. As things worsen at home, Bird finds a safe haven in spending time with Zora, a strange woman who also lives on the motel property.
Before Women Had Wings is about generational abuse. And how to stop it.
The book is a fast read, and I couldn't help cheering for Bird and hoping for her to have a happy ending. Or at least a path to a happy ending.
Bird is a young girl in a terrible situation. After her father commits suicide, her alcoholic and abusive mother relocates Bird and her sister to Tampa, FL, where they live in a motel in poverty. As things worsen at home, Bird finds a safe haven in spending time with Zora, a strange woman who also lives on the motel property.
Before Women Had Wings is about generational abuse. And how to stop it.
The book is a fast read, and I couldn't help cheering for Bird and hoping for her to have a happy ending. Or at least a path to a happy ending.
August 7, 2021
Avocet Abigail Jackson known as" Bird" was seven years old when her Daddy killed himself.
Bird decides to read a Gideon Bible, as she searches on a spiritual quest. She did a lot of daydreaming. It was her escape mechanism in light of her angry and abusive mother.
Bird makes friends with a neighbor, Miss Zora. Miss Zora takes Bird and her sister away
so the mother can get the help she needs.
The story is funny and sad, but not without hope.
Bird decides to read a Gideon Bible, as she searches on a spiritual quest. She did a lot of daydreaming. It was her escape mechanism in light of her angry and abusive mother.
Bird makes friends with a neighbor, Miss Zora. Miss Zora takes Bird and her sister away
so the mother can get the help she needs.
The story is funny and sad, but not without hope.
April 4, 2012
I want to give this book 3.5 stars, perhaps 4. I really enjoyed this book beginning to end. I read it in basically two sittings, not wanting to put it down -the story was so riveting. I had a few problems with some of the writing and tone of the book and that is why I downgraded it to 3.5.
The two issues I had were that the character is 9 years old and has some very profound thoughts, which I found hard to believe came from a 9 year old. And, although it is clear during most of the story that it is being told in past tense it is still confusing to decipher what thoughts she is having as a 9 year old and what it being reflected back onto the little girl from the narrator's later 'older self' perspective. The positive outcome of the more advanced perspective is that it is engaging to an adult reader even though the main character is a child.
The other issue is that although most of the writing is fresh and original, this author does not shy away from cliches and in a few instances, overused cliches.
With that said, I loved this book and highly recommend it. It can be therapeutic for those who have been in abusive situations, either abuser or abused. At times the subject matter is distressing but in context, can be healing. I would compare this book to others like, Glass Castle and White Oleander. If you liked those books you are pretty likely to like this one.
The two issues I had were that the character is 9 years old and has some very profound thoughts, which I found hard to believe came from a 9 year old. And, although it is clear during most of the story that it is being told in past tense it is still confusing to decipher what thoughts she is having as a 9 year old and what it being reflected back onto the little girl from the narrator's later 'older self' perspective. The positive outcome of the more advanced perspective is that it is engaging to an adult reader even though the main character is a child.
The other issue is that although most of the writing is fresh and original, this author does not shy away from cliches and in a few instances, overused cliches.
With that said, I loved this book and highly recommend it. It can be therapeutic for those who have been in abusive situations, either abuser or abused. At times the subject matter is distressing but in context, can be healing. I would compare this book to others like, Glass Castle and White Oleander. If you liked those books you are pretty likely to like this one.
July 30, 2007
When I started reading this book,it reminded me of Bastard Out of Carolina; I also saw similiarities to Glass Castle. Bird, a young girl, narrates the novel about her dysfunctional highly abusive family. The strength of the book is her voice -- the pain is palpable and the coping mechanisms she employs commendable. Her relationship with an elderly neighbor is an important reminder about how anyone can make a huge difference to a child in our own neighborhoods/communities with relatively small gestures. In my opinion, the book falls apart at the conclusion which is totally unbelievable.
June 12, 2014
This was a heart-wrenching good read about a young girl with a good heart growing up with alcoholic parents. Her life is tough, she's belittled constantly, physically and mentally beaten and yet she still loves her parents. The characters are so well portrayed, the writing so realistic and yet it's not all doom and gloom. There's some tender moments and an overall good storyline.
June 16, 2021
Bird is a 7 year old girl living in early 1960’s Georgia who escapes from her life of abuse and poverty by dreaming about brighter days.
This is a beautifully written story that someone earlier reviewed as being “ heartbreaking but it won’t leave you heartbroken.”
Read for Southern Reads 5 stars
This is a beautifully written story that someone earlier reviewed as being “ heartbreaking but it won’t leave you heartbroken.”
Read for Southern Reads 5 stars
October 24, 2014
I read this book for book club, and after viewing several sites, including Goodreads, it appears that almost everyone really enjoyed this book. I didn't. I don't know how this book differed from other child abuse books, except that it was a white poor family in the south. After I finished the book, I heard that it was similar if not exactly like the author's family history. For that, I'm empathetic.
It appears the author wanted to tell her "story", and with permission and assistance from siblings, did just that. The story is told through the eyes of a child. While I found the story disturbing as I would any book that talks about abuse, I found the writing difficult. There were many time issues (i.e. in 1965 she was six, but eight months later was nine?) There were several pieces of the book that were so disjointed, and I thought it would come together later, with perhaps an explanation, but it never did.
This was a book filled issues such as mental illness, physical abuse, alcoholism, poverty, single parent, and suicide. I think that's enough. Was an Oprah book club selection and made into a movie. I just wasn't a fan of the way it was written, the story itself, told many times. Horrible, but true. I couldn't give it more than two stars. If I hadn't of had to read it for book club, I wouldn't have.
It appears the author wanted to tell her "story", and with permission and assistance from siblings, did just that. The story is told through the eyes of a child. While I found the story disturbing as I would any book that talks about abuse, I found the writing difficult. There were many time issues (i.e. in 1965 she was six, but eight months later was nine?) There were several pieces of the book that were so disjointed, and I thought it would come together later, with perhaps an explanation, but it never did.
This was a book filled issues such as mental illness, physical abuse, alcoholism, poverty, single parent, and suicide. I think that's enough. Was an Oprah book club selection and made into a movie. I just wasn't a fan of the way it was written, the story itself, told many times. Horrible, but true. I couldn't give it more than two stars. If I hadn't of had to read it for book club, I wouldn't have.
December 12, 2008
(Autobiographical Novel)—"Back in 1965, on a day so hot that God Almighty should have been writhing with sick-to-the-stomach guilt over driving His children out of the cool green of Eden, my daddy walked into our general store, held a revolver to his head, told my mama that he couldn't take any more and that because of her harsh ways and his many sins he was going to blow his brains out." What an opening sentence! Totally gripping. It demands that you keep reading while deftly establishing the voice and tone of this autobiographical novel. Resolving this incident takes the first 15-20 pages and then the initial breakneck pace of the novel slows to consider the day-in-day-out bewilderment of a child growing up in an abusive family with parents who can't even navigate their own emotional landscapes, much less guide their children. The writing is superb but the story is painful. Knowing that Fowler was exorcising the ghosts of her own past helped me endure the pain through to the happy ending when the women in this family do finally sprout wings, amazingly through the loving kindness and maturity of a neighbor.
October 19, 2017
I'm not a big fan of the cover. Between that black and white photo of a wooden cabin and the blurb I had the sense it would read like Tobacco Road. So I had this feeling that it would read as if it were set in 1940, not 1960s and was startled when 60's items (orange juice can rollers, granny bags) were introduced.
Fowler is a fine writer...but you know, I don't think I'll be reading other novels from her. The abuse is just too violent (and perhaps described too well.) In the back I read that this story is very close to her life which made it even sadder and me more depressed.
Others said they felt this had a hopeful ending...but an ending chapter explaining how everything went would have been better.
Fowler is a fine writer...but you know, I don't think I'll be reading other novels from her. The abuse is just too violent (and perhaps described too well.) In the back I read that this story is very close to her life which made it even sadder and me more depressed.
Others said they felt this had a hopeful ending...but an ending chapter explaining how everything went would have been better.
May 11, 2013
Loved this book! Sensitive treatment of a difficult subject and a triumph of the human spirit. I related so much to the little girl in the story and her daydreaming to escape the harshness of her reality. Also, appreciated the author's skill in portraying the parents in an empathetic light. Well written and authentic.
November 15, 2009
Powerful book! I read this in one sitting last night because my heart was totally drawn into Bird's story. Ms. Fowler portrays the abused child perfectly. The love/hate relationship with the parent. She also gives you insight to the abuser. It's a book that will stay with you after you finish it.
April 5, 2013
I struggled (mentally,emotionally) with the women. A very good book for those who adore feminism and the likes.
January 23, 2015
I can't even explain how much I love this book because I can relate to Bird's upbringing and her trials so much. I often got lost in some passages, confusing her pain and misfortunes for my own...
November 12, 2024
I loved this book all the way until the ending,, and now I feel a bit embarrassed to recommend it…
It felt like a fairy tale coming of age mark twains meets rubyfruit jungle meets southern lass meets where the crawdad sings, a classic coming of age fiction
Just the perspective was from an 8 yr trying to grasp her fathers suicide, an abusive mother, and general survival in the world
BUT then ended with being saved by some idyllic unsung savior the modest and unsaid “I’m perfect and figured out life while being really sad but hurting no one “ woman who was the only black character and man I am feeling unsettled.
Surely the author understood the significance of these identities and the power dynamics and questions and assumptions that would arise from the reader. ( what’s with white southern authors glorifying the downtrodden but cheery black person who helps out the white protagonist amid a tragic circumstance, like connection via shared poverty?? History of black nanny’s and their erasure which keeps coming out sideways ?? )
And then in addition, I’m feeling a bit bitter that birds salvation came from a mother giving up her children to a stranger, a black stranger nonetheless who the mother CRUELY hated the whole story and kept trying kick her out of their house complex - I think what I loved about the book before this was birds sense of confusion and grappling with what was happening around her and something in me related, until rather than provide a sloppy incomplete real ending the author slapped together an angel and a situation that is so rare and traumatic as to be considered a nightmare miracle.
It felt like a fairy tale coming of age mark twains meets rubyfruit jungle meets southern lass meets where the crawdad sings, a classic coming of age fiction
Just the perspective was from an 8 yr trying to grasp her fathers suicide, an abusive mother, and general survival in the world
BUT then ended with being saved by some idyllic unsung savior the modest and unsaid “I’m perfect and figured out life while being really sad but hurting no one “ woman who was the only black character and man I am feeling unsettled.
Surely the author understood the significance of these identities and the power dynamics and questions and assumptions that would arise from the reader. ( what’s with white southern authors glorifying the downtrodden but cheery black person who helps out the white protagonist amid a tragic circumstance, like connection via shared poverty?? History of black nanny’s and their erasure which keeps coming out sideways ?? )
And then in addition, I’m feeling a bit bitter that birds salvation came from a mother giving up her children to a stranger, a black stranger nonetheless who the mother CRUELY hated the whole story and kept trying kick her out of their house complex - I think what I loved about the book before this was birds sense of confusion and grappling with what was happening around her and something in me related, until rather than provide a sloppy incomplete real ending the author slapped together an angel and a situation that is so rare and traumatic as to be considered a nightmare miracle.
January 6, 2020
This book is a page turner, but towards the end it’s nerve racking to turn them because you’re afraid of what might happen!
Bird is a sweet, innocent girl trying to grow up and learn what life is supposed to be about. It’s sad how much violence she encounters yet she remains pretty hopeful overall. I wish her siblings could’ve done more to help her along the way. I knew Miss Zora would be an angel the minute they met. It was hard to believe her stubborn, drunk Mama would take Miss Zora’s advice so quickly - that was the only part of the story that didn’t seem realistic to me. Although, I did enjoy the ending very much, I had no idea where the story was going until then.
Bird is a sweet, innocent girl trying to grow up and learn what life is supposed to be about. It’s sad how much violence she encounters yet she remains pretty hopeful overall. I wish her siblings could’ve done more to help her along the way. I knew Miss Zora would be an angel the minute they met. It was hard to believe her stubborn, drunk Mama would take Miss Zora’s advice so quickly - that was the only part of the story that didn’t seem realistic to me. Although, I did enjoy the ending very much, I had no idea where the story was going until then.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 15, 2017
This novel is a little hard to read due to the dysfunction of the family, just made me tense, sad and mad but I didn't want to stop reading it. Oprah Winfrey made a TV movie of it and it was also quite good. Read it almost 20 years ago so I can't remember enough to write any details but I still have the book which is an indication that I may felt that I might read it again.
June 3, 2017
3.5 stars
May 26, 2021
I read this book years ago and remember loving it so much. I should find it again and see if I still think it’s as good as I did before.
September 6, 2020
Gut-wrenching. Ugly-crying was had in the end.
July 11, 2021
This book is achingly sad but not depressing, as I half expected it to be. The story it tells is happening all around us, even if we don't see it. But, there is hope, sometimes.
June 18, 2024
Birdie grew up the youngest of three children to a rough, tough, and rowdy world of parents who fought, drank, and involved her in their family drama. With beatings and verbal abuse daily Bird try's to stay out of their way but rarely suceeds. Every day, her father rhreatens to kill himself in front of Bird, and he finally succeeds. Bird is led to believe by her mother's words that it's all her fault. It's funny the things children believe.
When her mother moves the family to Florida into a decerped, derelict motel with individual units, she meets her savior. Miss. Zora is Birds life line, and although Bird's mother tries her best to sabotage the relationship out of spite jealousy and fear, it flourishes.
Bird's sensitive, tender heart and body take quite a battering following her fathers death, but Ms. Zora and Bird's older brother, who flits in and out of her life, helps her to navigate. One night, after a terrible beating 7 year old Bird runs away, and she meets a biker that befriends her and shows her how to fly one dark night on the back of a motorcycle and forget her troubles
Bird's ability to find joy in small things like a dove with glitter on it, a three-legged dog named Sam, a Dr. Pepper, swimming at the motel pool, talks with Ms. Zora and dreams of a red bicycle with a banana seat help her survive. Fly Avocet, Fly sweet girl.
When her mother moves the family to Florida into a decerped, derelict motel with individual units, she meets her savior. Miss. Zora is Birds life line, and although Bird's mother tries her best to sabotage the relationship out of spite jealousy and fear, it flourishes.
Bird's sensitive, tender heart and body take quite a battering following her fathers death, but Ms. Zora and Bird's older brother, who flits in and out of her life, helps her to navigate. One night, after a terrible beating 7 year old Bird runs away, and she meets a biker that befriends her and shows her how to fly one dark night on the back of a motorcycle and forget her troubles
Bird's ability to find joy in small things like a dove with glitter on it, a three-legged dog named Sam, a Dr. Pepper, swimming at the motel pool, talks with Ms. Zora and dreams of a red bicycle with a banana seat help her survive. Fly Avocet, Fly sweet girl.
July 22, 2014
This book is about domestic abuse between spouses and to children, drinking, hopelessness and poverty. Painful to read, very difficult to continue when expecting the next violent act, the next horrible name calling. In a way I can understand people acting and reacting in the cycle of violence passed from parents to children, but the action of Bird's father, taken when he was trying to punish his wife, was one of the most cold-blooded acts of domestic violence I have ever heard of. I didn't forgive him.
Two people outside of the family make the difference for Bird; Miss Zora - a great character (I want her in my own life), and the angel in guise of a big biker on a Harley outside a strip club. Within the family her big sister and big brother (although he is out of the house when much of the story occurs) are allies as they are all suffering through the same family violence, each trying to survive it in their own way.
This story, while fictional, is largely based on the events in Connie May Fowler's own violence filled upbringing.
Two people outside of the family make the difference for Bird; Miss Zora - a great character (I want her in my own life), and the angel in guise of a big biker on a Harley outside a strip club. Within the family her big sister and big brother (although he is out of the house when much of the story occurs) are allies as they are all suffering through the same family violence, each trying to survive it in their own way.
This story, while fictional, is largely based on the events in Connie May Fowler's own violence filled upbringing.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 390 reviews