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Laurentian Channel
2001 AUDIOCRAFT PUBLISHING SOFTCOVER
Paperback
First published June 1, 2003
33 people want to read
About the author
Christopher Knight
6 books63 followersChristopher Wright is the author of dozens of horror fiction books for children and young adults. He writes under the pseudonyms Johnathan Rand and Christopher Knight. Almost all of Wright's books (save American Chillers) take place in his home state of Michigan.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
June 7, 2022
I've been going through an awful divorce so i decided to read this book to help. She said I had slept with Creepy Condors of California for the last time. Not only did she leave, but I couldn't find my copy of the book anymore. The Hodag must've taken it.
I had bought a fresh new copy of the book because I really wanted to see my blurb. I also wanted to see if the blurbs were fake. When I got to the page, I opened to the blurb section and couldn't believe what I saw.
My blurb wasn't there! Where it was supposed to be there was just a blank spot! Whatever, the ex-wife took it anyway.
I couldn't let this stand. I had to find out what happened to my blurb. So I embarked on a quest to Chillermania to find out where Johnathan Rand put the blurbs.
I stormed into his office at the warehouse, passing by his rat maze as I did. I was shocked to find Rand on the table making out with my copy of Creepy Condors of California. "What the FUCK?!" I screamed.
"What?" Rand cried out. I walked up to him and grabbed the book. I opened it up.
"Where's my blurb?!" I cried out, showing the blank spot. "Also..." I flipped through the pages. "This copy is missing seven chapters!" I then fumbled through other Chillers books in the room that were on bookshelves. "All these books are missing chapters!"
"Paper delay shortages!" Rand explained.
I opened up a closet door and was shocked to see a bunch of empty pages sprawled out across the floor. "Ah ha!" I yelled out. "I bet my blurb is in here. I bet book 45 is in here too! We've only been waiting 22 years!"
I went through the pages. They were all blank. "Clearly there's no paper shortages, you have all these blank pages here to write on and you haven't!"
"I've been busy!" He cried!
"Bullshit," I said. "You're here all day!"
It was then that I noticed something in the back of the closet. A small door with a label on it. " The Knight Room."
I turned to Rand. "What the fuck is this?" I asked. "Do you have Chris Knight locked up in there?"
He looked at me in confusion. "Are you a fucking idiot?" He asked.
"Says the one that wrote a book called Lair of the Lansing Leprechauns!" I charged into the room. There was a writer's desk and a few Christopher Knight books on the floor. I was shocked. Tears began to form at the base of my eyes. I turned around and asked Rand, "it's not true, is it? This doesn't mean what I think it does, does it?"
Rand closed his eyes. "It does. I'm sorry, man."
"You kidnapped Christopher Knight!"
Rand's eyes sprang open and a look of pure rage filled his face.
"You absolute imbecile. You dumb fucking dumb fuck. Did you get dropped on your head down three flights of stairs as a child? Did your mom do meth while she was pregnant? Is there a pencil lodged in your brain? Were you lobotomized? You are without a doubt the stupidest fucking person I have ever met in my entire fucking life, and I'm Johnathan Rand!"
"... That's rather rude," I said.
He let out a loud sigh. "I'M Christopher Knight! I wrote those books! It was me the whole time!"
I took a step back in shock. "No. It's not true. It's impossible!"
"Search your feelings. You know this to be true."
"Yeah, I guess I kinda do." I walked out of there, my world completely turned upside down. I was bummed. Rand stopped me though.
"Hey...listen. I know things haven't gone your way. You didn't get your blurb published because we ran out of ink because of the supply chain shortage...you got divorced four times...I called you an idiot...but I know what it's like not to have things go your way. Just look at the Underground Undead of Utah. Also, I tried to publish my first book without having sales experience. But you just have to keep pushing. Soon, you can publish millions of books from a rat maze, too. Never stop believing. I feel so bad for you that I'm gonna let you have three other Knight books...for free."
I wiped my tears. "Really?"
"Yes. Trust me. You're gonna grow up to be a good boy. And before you go...I want you to have this." Rand reached into his pocket and handed me a flyer for Author Quest. "If you wanna become a writer like me, you can come to this for free. I've seen your reviews, Max. You've been given a gift."
"Really?"
"Nope!" Rand tore up the flyer and threw it out. "I don't do Author Quest anymore."
I started to cry. "Did you mean anything you just said?"
"Just one. I did read your reviews. They're dog shit. You have the opposite of a gift. You're cursed. I only feel bad that my books were so involved in your sad train wreck of a life. I'm glad you're crying. I'd cry too if I had your life."
I finally turned and started to leave. I stopped in front of the door and turned.
"I only have one more question," I said. "What's your real name?"
"My name is Christopher Wright."
Suddenly it all became clear to me. That fortune teller! She said Christopher Wright would destroy my life! I sprinted out the door, hearing Rand laugh maniacally as I did. I had a new mission.
I had to find that fortune teller.
To be continued...
I had bought a fresh new copy of the book because I really wanted to see my blurb. I also wanted to see if the blurbs were fake. When I got to the page, I opened to the blurb section and couldn't believe what I saw.
My blurb wasn't there! Where it was supposed to be there was just a blank spot! Whatever, the ex-wife took it anyway.
I couldn't let this stand. I had to find out what happened to my blurb. So I embarked on a quest to Chillermania to find out where Johnathan Rand put the blurbs.
I stormed into his office at the warehouse, passing by his rat maze as I did. I was shocked to find Rand on the table making out with my copy of Creepy Condors of California. "What the FUCK?!" I screamed.
"What?" Rand cried out. I walked up to him and grabbed the book. I opened it up.
"Where's my blurb?!" I cried out, showing the blank spot. "Also..." I flipped through the pages. "This copy is missing seven chapters!" I then fumbled through other Chillers books in the room that were on bookshelves. "All these books are missing chapters!"
"Paper delay shortages!" Rand explained.
I opened up a closet door and was shocked to see a bunch of empty pages sprawled out across the floor. "Ah ha!" I yelled out. "I bet my blurb is in here. I bet book 45 is in here too! We've only been waiting 22 years!"
I went through the pages. They were all blank. "Clearly there's no paper shortages, you have all these blank pages here to write on and you haven't!"
"I've been busy!" He cried!
"Bullshit," I said. "You're here all day!"
It was then that I noticed something in the back of the closet. A small door with a label on it. " The Knight Room."
I turned to Rand. "What the fuck is this?" I asked. "Do you have Chris Knight locked up in there?"
He looked at me in confusion. "Are you a fucking idiot?" He asked.
"Says the one that wrote a book called Lair of the Lansing Leprechauns!" I charged into the room. There was a writer's desk and a few Christopher Knight books on the floor. I was shocked. Tears began to form at the base of my eyes. I turned around and asked Rand, "it's not true, is it? This doesn't mean what I think it does, does it?"
Rand closed his eyes. "It does. I'm sorry, man."
"You kidnapped Christopher Knight!"
Rand's eyes sprang open and a look of pure rage filled his face.
"You absolute imbecile. You dumb fucking dumb fuck. Did you get dropped on your head down three flights of stairs as a child? Did your mom do meth while she was pregnant? Is there a pencil lodged in your brain? Were you lobotomized? You are without a doubt the stupidest fucking person I have ever met in my entire fucking life, and I'm Johnathan Rand!"
"... That's rather rude," I said.
He let out a loud sigh. "I'M Christopher Knight! I wrote those books! It was me the whole time!"
I took a step back in shock. "No. It's not true. It's impossible!"
"Search your feelings. You know this to be true."
"Yeah, I guess I kinda do." I walked out of there, my world completely turned upside down. I was bummed. Rand stopped me though.
"Hey...listen. I know things haven't gone your way. You didn't get your blurb published because we ran out of ink because of the supply chain shortage...you got divorced four times...I called you an idiot...but I know what it's like not to have things go your way. Just look at the Underground Undead of Utah. Also, I tried to publish my first book without having sales experience. But you just have to keep pushing. Soon, you can publish millions of books from a rat maze, too. Never stop believing. I feel so bad for you that I'm gonna let you have three other Knight books...for free."
I wiped my tears. "Really?"
"Yes. Trust me. You're gonna grow up to be a good boy. And before you go...I want you to have this." Rand reached into his pocket and handed me a flyer for Author Quest. "If you wanna become a writer like me, you can come to this for free. I've seen your reviews, Max. You've been given a gift."
"Really?"
"Nope!" Rand tore up the flyer and threw it out. "I don't do Author Quest anymore."
I started to cry. "Did you mean anything you just said?"
"Just one. I did read your reviews. They're dog shit. You have the opposite of a gift. You're cursed. I only feel bad that my books were so involved in your sad train wreck of a life. I'm glad you're crying. I'd cry too if I had your life."
I finally turned and started to leave. I stopped in front of the door and turned.
"I only have one more question," I said. "What's your real name?"
"My name is Christopher Wright."
Suddenly it all became clear to me. That fortune teller! She said Christopher Wright would destroy my life! I sprinted out the door, hearing Rand laugh maniacally as I did. I had a new mission.
I had to find that fortune teller.
To be continued...
June 17, 2024
A very interesting premise, particularly if you live, as I do, in northern Michigan: a long-lost shipwreck discovered in the depths of Lake Huron, still holding the unimaginably valuable treasure it was carrying when it sank back in the 1800's.
I bailed out fairly quickly, though, somewhere before page 100. The problem was the writing. Now you might think that the guy who has written such classics as "Arkansas Algae Monsters" and "Dinosaurs Destroy Detroit" could really turn a phrase, but I struggled with the style. It struck me as fairly juvenile and kind of dumb - something that might have been written by that guy in high school with a complete collection of Batman comic books stowed away in the trunk of his 1969 Dodge Charger (with the requisite fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror, of course).
Knight is a fairly prolific author (under more than one pseudonym) so SOMEBODY must be buying these books - maybe all those weird, spooky guys from high school.
I bailed out fairly quickly, though, somewhere before page 100. The problem was the writing. Now you might think that the guy who has written such classics as "Arkansas Algae Monsters" and "Dinosaurs Destroy Detroit" could really turn a phrase, but I struggled with the style. It struck me as fairly juvenile and kind of dumb - something that might have been written by that guy in high school with a complete collection of Batman comic books stowed away in the trunk of his 1969 Dodge Charger (with the requisite fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror, of course).
Knight is a fairly prolific author (under more than one pseudonym) so SOMEBODY must be buying these books - maybe all those weird, spooky guys from high school.
June 23, 2024
Overall the book was enjoyable and easy to read. I felt that the tension and buildup took a while and was the majority of the book. The climax and ending were very short and seemed to wrap up quickly based on the size of the book
July 22, 2018
I really liked this book a lot. The short chapters helped keep the story moving.
July 26, 2012
I couldn't resist buying this novel when I was at Chillermania because one of the DEQ staff I supervise regulates Great Lakes Bottomland Preserves and this novel involves shipwrecks in or near the Straits of Mackinac.
An adult novel by Christopher Knight (aka Johnathan Rand, the author of the American Chillers and Michigan Chillers series). A couple discovers an unknown shipwreck near Bois Blanc Island, in the Laurentian Channel, an old river valley running through the Straits of Mackinac into Lake Huron. The Laurentian Channel is deep (200'-400') with swift currents, making it a dangerous place to dive. During one of their initial dives, they discover the remains of several people who were brutally murdered on the mystery ship.
Unknown to the couple, three shipwreck plunderers have been searching for this wreck for years. They know what mysterious cargo the ship holds. These criminals have murdered before and won't hesitate to do so again to get what they're after.
The book bounces back & forth between these characters and the slowly unfolding explanation of what happened during the vessel's last voyage.
The race is on to discover and recover the mysterious cargo. The chapters are short and the novel's pace is quick. It's a good read.
There are a couple of disturbing chapters involving one of the criminals who was an abused child who grew into an abuser of animals and people (including his wife). That, a few factual errors and some predictable story elements (but the book still packs several surprises) detract from the book and knock my rating down from 4 stars to 3. But it's still worthwhile reading.
Someone should tell the cover artist that the ship on the cover doesn't look anything like a Great Lakes sailing vessel.
An adult novel by Christopher Knight (aka Johnathan Rand, the author of the American Chillers and Michigan Chillers series). A couple discovers an unknown shipwreck near Bois Blanc Island, in the Laurentian Channel, an old river valley running through the Straits of Mackinac into Lake Huron. The Laurentian Channel is deep (200'-400') with swift currents, making it a dangerous place to dive. During one of their initial dives, they discover the remains of several people who were brutally murdered on the mystery ship.
Unknown to the couple, three shipwreck plunderers have been searching for this wreck for years. They know what mysterious cargo the ship holds. These criminals have murdered before and won't hesitate to do so again to get what they're after.
The book bounces back & forth between these characters and the slowly unfolding explanation of what happened during the vessel's last voyage.
The race is on to discover and recover the mysterious cargo. The chapters are short and the novel's pace is quick. It's a good read.
There are a couple of disturbing chapters involving one of the criminals who was an abused child who grew into an abuser of animals and people (including his wife). That, a few factual errors and some predictable story elements (but the book still packs several surprises) detract from the book and knock my rating down from 4 stars to 3. But it's still worthwhile reading.
Someone should tell the cover artist that the ship on the cover doesn't look anything like a Great Lakes sailing vessel.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews