Surface Tension: Love, Sex and Politics Between Lesbians and Straight Women

by Meg Daly

Representing diverse views and voices, the essays, short stories, and interviews in this collection explore the spectrum of feelings and opinions about being a lesbian, the friendships women share—or fear—and the rich diversity of personal choices women make today.

This anthology is filled with personal narratives that explore a particular friendship or perspective on relationships between women of different sexualities. Editor Meg Daly breaks the essays, interviews, and stories into six different sections—"Best Friends”; “Romantic Love”; “Curiosity, Desire, and Sex”; “On Passing and Solidarity”; “Blurred Boundaries or Which One Is the Lesbian?”; and “Visibility, Community, and Our Separate Spheres.” These stories explore personal experiences of life as a lesbian, close friendships, queer theory, and LGBTQ history. In Dorothy Allison’s story “Conceptional Lesbianism,” she lends a historical perspective to straight-lesbian relationships in the 1970s, and she examines on what it means to be a lesbian. Lisa Springer reflects on the period in her adolescence when she wasn’t aware of her attraction to women in “Between Girls.” In “Kat,” Guinevere Turner on the pain of reconciling one's sexual orientation with past relationships.

A wide range of experiences, perspectives, and diverse voices come together in this anthology to explore the pain, joy, humor, and beauty of life as a lesbian.

Genres: Queer, Nonfiction, LGBT, Feminism, Lesbian, Sociology, Gender Studies

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 18, 1996

Reviews

[Molly G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Deepest reactions: to essay The (Fe)male Gaze by Elizabeth Wurtzel, pp202-217, and the following quote:

"So we're all really careful. / But maybe we should get our feelings hurt once in a while. Risk something. How can we grow as people if we live with such caution and anxiety? We're becoming humorless and overinformed, afraid to act. So nothing happens." ~ Jessica Hagedorn, p201

[Mae · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think that this book was just fine. Some of the essays I found to be very relatable, very moving, and very well written. Whereas some essays… unfortunately most of the ones written by straight women… I found myself thinking “why is this included? What exactly is this saying?”
I think the themes got a bit redundant, I wish that the book was more about the social relationships between lesbians and straight women beyond just “I had a crush on a straight girl” or “sometimes people who are your friends turn out to be homophobic”. Like maybe exploring deeper into issues surrounding the way straight women abandon lesbian solidarity for male companionship.
However, there were a few essays that I found entertaining, moving, and funny. My favorite essay in the entire book being “The Kick Inside” by Martha Southgate.
Oh, the one essay about how the author fell in love with Israel the same way she fell in love with her first woman?? Boooo. Thumbs down.

[Thera · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is pretty dated, and a bunch of stuff comes off as wack and or just like embarrassingly old fashioned or wrong - I wouldn't be suprised if some of the stories and essays were from the early/mid 80s, which makes them less than current when it comes to something like the changing dynamics of queer visibility and the relationships between queer/straight women. That said, there were a couple essays in the 'solidarity' section that I thought were useful and interesting.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

"...Lesbians like to ask me if I am a lesbian-identified bisexual, but I refuse to identify as anything other than what/who I really am, so I call myself a bisexual-identified bisexual. This assertion usually causes serious conceptual problems, until people can get past the rigid duality that hangs us up in our society: hetero-homo, male-female, good-evil, white-black..." Indigo Sam

[aslı · Rating 3 out of 5]

lmao dit was zo raar

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Favorites:
-Like Cutting Off My Arm is touching, but not cliché (skillful balance)

-Working Out is pleasingly contemplative

-Til Men Do Us Part is a firm slap of reality

-The Kick Inside has multiple themes, but manages not to be clutured by them

-What is it About Straight Women is by Susie Bright who is, well, Susie Bright. The piece is insightful and uplifting is a highly unexpected manner. Third paragraph from the end put this big stupid grin on my face. Probably not what she was going for, but it did.

-I didn't expect to like the piece by Ann Powers, due to subject matter, but I did. It's explanatory without taking on a lecturing tone. I always thought of "passing" as a form of cultural theft. It's good that she choose to write about this subject this way.

-I can't decide what it is with me and Dorothy Allison. Either we have a strange unacknowledged telepathic connection, or I should just go start her a religion. Every time I read her stuff this happens. It just happens.

-Almost a Dyke is a nice honest piece about bisexuality within the queer community.

-Low Cut was the only piece in this collection that I found completely off-putting. Maybe it's the subject matter, the style of writing, the way it doesn't fit into the chapter--let alone the anthology. Or it was one little sentence (with me it only takes one sentence). It was during a paragraph on her negative past experiences with personal ads. One in particular. "It would never work...Plus, she had bad skin." Alright, I realize you're looking for sex, so standard rules of attraction apply. But you used skin condition as your closing argument against another women. I'm sorry that some females don't see it necessary to cover up every perceived imperfection with paint and powder--or, they realize how stupid and artificial it looks and let the genetic bumps and redness show.
What happened to acceptance? What if it had been "Plus, she was overweight." or "Plus, she was black." Oh, right. It's sex, so we can base everything on appearances again. After a fun night is had by all, then we can go back to caring about ugly women. Like I said, it only takes one sentence to get me goin'.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

as a gay woman with mostly straight female friends, i find this book really helpful to read when things get complicated and i know i'm in good company. i wish there were more essays about this subject but it's a start.