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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly #4
PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids
So there I was, roysh, twenty-three years of age, still, like, gorgeous and rich, living off my legend as a schools rugby player, scoring the birds, being the man, when all of a sudden, roysh, life becomes a total mare. I don't have a Betty Blue what's wrong, but I can't eat, can't sleep, I don't even want to do the old beast with two backs, which means a major problem, and we're talking big time here. Normally my head is so full of, like thoughts, but now I'm down to just Sorcha, I'm playing it Kool and the Gang, but this is basically scary. I mean, I'm Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, for fock's sake, I don't do love.
272 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
June 22, 2019
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly is the pseudonym of author Paul Howard and he's written a number of novels from the perspective of his alter-ego. This is the first one I've read so I acknowledge that I'm coming in after the movie has started, but I don't think I'm in any rush to check out what happened before or after this instalment.
The character of Ross is - to use the book's vernacular - an orsehole. He's a spoilt kid from rich parents who are nothing but nice to him and he repays by treating like crap. They give him money (thousands!) whenever he asks, so he never has to work and he insults them to their faces, publicly, and on TV. He spends all his time getting drunk and sleeping his way through the female half of the Irish phone book with little to no effort. I had to wonder what all these women were seeing in this arrogant orsehole. Is he really as good looking as he thinks, or is it just the fact that he's rich that entices them into his bed? It's never explained, and he just brags his way from one conquest to another. I'm pretty sure he even has sex with his fiancee's underage sister in this book - he never says what age she is but she's doing her geography homework when he seduces her - and suffers no consequences for it.
The book was published in 2004 so if there were several before this one I can only imagine the author was riding the 90s lads' magazine/ lad-lit fad of the time and just didn't know when to stop.
There are some funny lines in there that made me laugh out loud, but they didn't do much to endear me to this vacuous narcissist. The language annoyed me too. I'm from Ireland - the north - but I've travelled in the south and I've never heard anyone use the word 'roysh'. It's apparently Irish patois for 'right' and this book uses it an annoying amount; the same way teenage girls use the word 'like'.
"So, roysh, I was walking down the street, roysh, when I saw her in the pub, so I goes in, roysh." That gets really old really quickly. Also, instead of saying 'I said' he says 'I'm there' which again, if this is an Irish expression it's one I've never heard. As is the use of Irish rhyming slang. Some of this I was able to work out...
"I just wanted to get my Nat King." Nat King Cole... hole... Get my hole (have sex). But a lot of it I couldn't figure out at all, like going for a pint of Ken. I don't know what Ken he's referring to or what drink it rhymes with. It's not beer because at another time in the pub he talks about getting the Britney Spears in. There are lots of names referenced that I hadn't a clue who they were - they're probably sports people. Ross seems to have had some background in rugby, so maybe they're rugby people.
I suppose it says something that I actually made it through this book. I think I was waiting for this tosser to have his moment of redemption where he would stop being such an orsehole, but it never came and the book is left on a cliffhanger that suggests there's more of these stories to come. I don't think I'll seek them out.
After reading this book I'm pretty sure I know what the author had as the title when he submitted this book, but his publishers made him change that S word to another, less offensive one. They shouldn't have bothered. This book takes pride in being offensive. It even goes as far as posting a negative review of one of the author's previous books like a badge of honour. So if you long for the days when making homophobic jokes and treating women like disposable tissues was cool, this is the series for you.
The character of Ross is - to use the book's vernacular - an orsehole. He's a spoilt kid from rich parents who are nothing but nice to him and he repays by treating like crap. They give him money (thousands!) whenever he asks, so he never has to work and he insults them to their faces, publicly, and on TV. He spends all his time getting drunk and sleeping his way through the female half of the Irish phone book with little to no effort. I had to wonder what all these women were seeing in this arrogant orsehole. Is he really as good looking as he thinks, or is it just the fact that he's rich that entices them into his bed? It's never explained, and he just brags his way from one conquest to another. I'm pretty sure he even has sex with his fiancee's underage sister in this book - he never says what age she is but she's doing her geography homework when he seduces her - and suffers no consequences for it.
The book was published in 2004 so if there were several before this one I can only imagine the author was riding the 90s lads' magazine/ lad-lit fad of the time and just didn't know when to stop.
There are some funny lines in there that made me laugh out loud, but they didn't do much to endear me to this vacuous narcissist. The language annoyed me too. I'm from Ireland - the north - but I've travelled in the south and I've never heard anyone use the word 'roysh'. It's apparently Irish patois for 'right' and this book uses it an annoying amount; the same way teenage girls use the word 'like'.
"So, roysh, I was walking down the street, roysh, when I saw her in the pub, so I goes in, roysh." That gets really old really quickly. Also, instead of saying 'I said' he says 'I'm there' which again, if this is an Irish expression it's one I've never heard. As is the use of Irish rhyming slang. Some of this I was able to work out...
"I just wanted to get my Nat King." Nat King Cole... hole... Get my hole (have sex). But a lot of it I couldn't figure out at all, like going for a pint of Ken. I don't know what Ken he's referring to or what drink it rhymes with. It's not beer because at another time in the pub he talks about getting the Britney Spears in. There are lots of names referenced that I hadn't a clue who they were - they're probably sports people. Ross seems to have had some background in rugby, so maybe they're rugby people.
I suppose it says something that I actually made it through this book. I think I was waiting for this tosser to have his moment of redemption where he would stop being such an orsehole, but it never came and the book is left on a cliffhanger that suggests there's more of these stories to come. I don't think I'll seek them out.
After reading this book I'm pretty sure I know what the author had as the title when he submitted this book, but his publishers made him change that S word to another, less offensive one. They shouldn't have bothered. This book takes pride in being offensive. It even goes as far as posting a negative review of one of the author's previous books like a badge of honour. So if you long for the days when making homophobic jokes and treating women like disposable tissues was cool, this is the series for you.
March 4, 2018
To be honest I don’t know why I keep reading this series. The only thing I can think of, is that I can’t wait for Ross to finally get what he deserves. Which would be for him to truly realise what a sorry bastard he really is.
I do realise that this is a parody but Paul Howard has created a character that is all too real. His dickheadedness and way of thinking rings so true that it pisses me off to no end. I just want to punch him in the face. His shortcomings and insecurity so obvious to anyone that isn’t him that I don’t know how he gets away with his bullshit. And, yet there are Ross O’Carroll-Kelly’s everywhere.
The books are juvenile and yet such a true reflection of his ilk. He’s so easy to laugh AT and yet so easy to hate because of the truth that lies behind it and all the Rosses out there in the real world.
I want to throw the books out the window and yet I have already started the next one. I want him to really pay and yet know that he never will.
I guess I just have to keep laughing AT him and be grateful that since it’s not my world, I was never in danger of becoming a Sorcha.
I do realise that this is a parody but Paul Howard has created a character that is all too real. His dickheadedness and way of thinking rings so true that it pisses me off to no end. I just want to punch him in the face. His shortcomings and insecurity so obvious to anyone that isn’t him that I don’t know how he gets away with his bullshit. And, yet there are Ross O’Carroll-Kelly’s everywhere.
The books are juvenile and yet such a true reflection of his ilk. He’s so easy to laugh AT and yet so easy to hate because of the truth that lies behind it and all the Rosses out there in the real world.
I want to throw the books out the window and yet I have already started the next one. I want him to really pay and yet know that he never will.
I guess I just have to keep laughing AT him and be grateful that since it’s not my world, I was never in danger of becoming a Sorcha.
February 21, 2018
I love the Ross O'Carroll-Kelly series, this jaunt takes him from saving tigers in Asia , to the rugby world cup in Australia, and his rapidly approaching wedding day. All dealt with in Ross's own special way, disaster after disaster. The humour is close to the bone as usual, Ross is his usual impossible self, the most politically incorrect character you will come across. Not as hilariously funny as some previous books but an important step in the series.
April 22, 2018
It wasn't easy for Ross to give up the easy life of bachelorhood for a state of wedded bliss with Sorcha Lalor. It was almost as if she bullied him into it. In those hectic days before the wedding, we see Ross O'Carroll-Kelly carrying on as normal, safe in the knowledge that it is very hard to get caught cheating if you cheat with lots of different people.
A series which gets funnier as Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's voice develops.
A series which gets funnier as Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's voice develops.
December 28, 2018
Hilarious but dark poke at the toxic bro culture of the pub and rugby circuit in Ireland.
August 20, 2023
Another hilarious adventure in the life of the much loved character Ross O’Carroll-Kelly. There are many laugh out loud moments in the book and the ending is something else!
December 20, 2025
Tough tough read. I liked when he mentioned IMC Dun Laoghaire.
September 7, 2016
Got me through many a miserable Tube journey. "We both love a good fock", classic.
August 3, 2007
this was the first of the ross o'carroll kelly series i bought. didn't know what to expect but it turned out to be asolutely hillarious. the books may not always be politically correct but if you're looking for something really, really funny, you should definitely read them!
September 8, 2008
I really enjoyed this book and it proves the point that the books just get better and better as they go on in the series. I'm looking forward to number 5.
February 25, 2008
hilarious view of posh D4 dublin..
June 18, 2014
Now I need to read the next one! So much happened in such a short book!
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews