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Gastronaut: Adventures in Food for the Romantic, the Foolhardy, and the Brave – A Hilarious Culinary History of Extreme Cooking and Bizarre Culture

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An irreverent journey through the culinary world of the exotic, the bizarre, and the truly extraordinary, Gastronaut is equal parts cookbook and quest book. For your bedside or your stoveside, this hilarious and captivating journey through some of the strangest food experiences, past and present, is divided into three levels of escalating difficulty. Whether you're ready to gild your breakfast sausages with gold, re-create the Last Supper, or cook a whole pig in an underground fire pit, this book takes it all on with gusto and little regard for what one might call decency.

Gastronaut answers questions
• what foods make us fart?
• how do you make your own moonshine?
• is it possible to teach grandmas to suck eggs?
• how would you stage a bacchanalian orgy in the comfort of your own home?
Here is the perfect book for people who are fascinated by the wilder side of food and who, every now and then, want to show off their penchant for the extreme.


THE GASTRONAUT'S CREED
Food will consume 16 percent of my life. That life is too precious to waste;
• I resolve, whenever possible, to transform food from fuel into love, power, adventure, poetry, sex, or drama.
• I will never turn down the opportunity to taste or cook something new.
• I will never canapés are evil.
• I will remember that culinary disaster does not necessarily equal failure.
• I will always keep a jar of pesto to hand in case of the latter.

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

4 people are currently reading
127 people want to read

About the author

Stefan Gates

33 books8 followers

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5 stars
20 (14%)
4 stars
37 (26%)
3 stars
56 (39%)
2 stars
22 (15%)
1 star
6 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
Profile Image for Bonnie Fazio.
212 reviews5 followers
July 31, 2014
Very funny in parts, but a few chapters went beyond my comfort zone for grossness. Just so you know, I'm not squeamish about blood, surgery, or even death (I read "Stiff" with scarcely a qualm). However, certain other bodily secretions, excretions and functions make me queasy -- and I have a terrible insect phobia. (The fear part pertains mainly to moths, but I find all insects repulsive, and can't stand the thought of eating or cooking them.) There were a couple chapters I had to virtually skip. Some others were gross in other unique ways (I can well imagine how bad Issey Miyake Aftershave Ceviche would taste), but I was able to bear reading them. This is pretty funny stuff, if you can stomach it.
472 reviews3 followers
April 19, 2020
All you want to know about strange and disgusting foods. Start with gilding a Cheeto with gold. Go on to extreme flatulence recipes, fish sperm on toast, stuffed fish heads, and more. He is British, lives in London, and has access to butchers that will saw a pig's head in half for you. Not that I want one.
Profile Image for Ronn.
519 reviews1 follower
May 30, 2023
Too much 'I dare you' food geekiness.
Profile Image for Datsun.
72 reviews1 follower
July 30, 2008
I had to work really hard to ignore the picture of the author. He's got the same glasses-haircut combo as most of the snotty, faux-boho, crypto-yuppie neo-leftie scumbags that are always blocking up the aisles at the supermarket here, looking for organically sourced frozen dinners and responsibly farmed soylent paste.

Okay, maybe they're not all that bad, but one of the worst of those assholes and his bottle-blond dingbat of a wife were following me around today, blathering about how hard it was to be a nearly wealthy shopper of conscience when there were so few convenient options. Boo-fucking-hoo. Shut the hell up and get out of my way; you're blocking the cheap beer and battery-raised pork.

That aside, this book is pretty fucking funny. And he's got some decent, no-bullshit recipes for stuff I'd like to eat, stuff I'd like to cook (not always the same thing), and information about stuff I've always wondered about. Like why a spam-flavored jello-block made out a pig's head is called headcheese. Or what gruel really is. Or how one goes about making one of those medieval roast dinners that involves stuffing successively larger animals into each other. Or whether you can make cheese out of breast milk.

You get the idea. But he talks about it with far more goodwill and humor, or humour, and far less profanity, the clever, smug (and deservedly so), bastard.
Profile Image for ^.
907 reviews65 followers
February 4, 2015
Utterly and quaintly bizarre. Almost as good for foodie conversation (dinner party, BBQ, or down the pub) as Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall; however HFW has the massive advantage in that you can actually cook, and eat very well, from his writings.

"Gastronaut" is a fascinating addition to the shelves of "What under-represented angle can I possibly find to write about in the subject area of food and eating?" OK, yes, I mildly enjoyed reading it; even though I had to grit my teeth during the sections more juvenile in humour; and I did find the "music suggestions" totally pointless - probably because I'd never heard of most of the tracks before.

I'll never know whether or not I was fortunate or unfortunate in missing the BBC2 series "Full On Food", which preceded this book.

The lack of endnotes and a solid bibliography seriously undermines the long-term value (life) this book could have had.

I would not have bought this book at its full (hardback) cover price. However, second-hand at £1.00, it was definitely worth a punt.

Profile Image for Tim.
396 reviews9 followers
August 10, 2015
Everything you didn't want to know about food, or wondered but didn't want to ask !
The section on Human Harvest, eating or drinking bits of human such as nails, earwax and others I won't mention, was a little suspect. The results were based on your own consumption of your body bits.
Breast milk came out as 35%. Now I would have thought that most women who are breast feeding have tried it, not as a refreshing drink instead of Chardonnay, but out of fascination.
As for eating/drinking items from someone else, only 5%.
Again, I would suggest that far more than 5% of men have tried their wife's milk, and similar with women, for semen.
Perhaps his test group were rather conservative !
Profile Image for Niya.
487 reviews13 followers
July 15, 2013
The text is charmingly inspirational thanks to Gates' very british sense of humour, and his attitude to eating. Few texts on the market today explore cannibalism, eating insects, hosting Bacchanalian feasts and making head cheese with the same earnest humour as Gates expresses. This is not a book to cook from (unless you have a large private property, somewhat unlimited funds, excellent butchers and very adventurous friends) but it is one to enjoy if you're contemplating philosophies of cooking and eating.
Profile Image for Semantic Kat.
134 reviews6 followers
April 24, 2008
A gloriously strange recipe book, worth reading even if you never use any of the recipes. I really enjoyed this book and its premise, which is that you're going to be eating anyway, so why not experience eating to the hilt? In search of culinary epiphanies, the author explores the lowbrow (what foods make people fart?) and the highbrow (how to stage a Roman orgy in the comfort of your own home). The music suggestions are also spot-on.
23 reviews
March 22, 2011
Funny book, provides topics for dinner party conversations. Gets men more excited than women (they all want to roast suckling pigs in holes in the backyard). I like it that the author has cooked and eaten nearly every recipe in the book - including boiled woodlice, head cheese (pig's head), and salmon with aftershave. and when he hasn't, he admits it ("If you can lay your hands on termites in any great numbers, it probably means your house is about to fall down").
Profile Image for Maria (Ri).
502 reviews49 followers
June 8, 2010
This book is hilarious! It is truly a wacky look at food. Maybe it is because I am pregnant and due with my second in just a few weeks, but I particularly enjoyed the section on making placenta loaf! LOL Stefan Gates is part foodie, part insane nut. That makes for a great and totally unconventional read!
Profile Image for Ariel.
117 reviews12 followers
March 12, 2008
Some of the ideas are interesting but few of them are practical. The book is held together by its humor and music selections accompanying each recipe. But the recipes themselves are scattered and feel more like trivia. This should have been a Wikipedia article, not a bound book.
Profile Image for Nytetyger.
97 reviews6 followers
February 9, 2009
An extremely amusing, yet well written book about odd, interesting, bizarre, and amusing foods. The author never fails to be both entertaining AND educational... although when I am going to need to know how to make head cheese is beyond me.
Profile Image for Colleen.
36 reviews
May 22, 2009
If you are looking for an actual cookbook, this probably isn't for you. The author is definitely a little twisted, but this is an absolutely hilarious book. Lots of history on English foods, and some very funny recipes for headcheese and suckling pig.
Profile Image for Linda.
37 reviews2 followers
December 4, 2010
Not bad in parts. If you're curious, read the first few pages - either you'll like the authors style or you won't.

Having said that, the reference material in the back is quite interesting, and I'd suggest it for anyone with an interest in the weird and odd of food.
Profile Image for Wan Ni.
249 reviews15 followers
January 26, 2015
More essays, less recipes!
But I totally adore the tongue-in-cheek "put vegetable fats in a centrifuge" part when describing how to make margarine at home (if home is a food lab). That sort of humor is right up my alley.
Profile Image for Randy.
812 reviews
August 2, 2015
For some reason, this book was on my to-read list. After finishing it, I'm wondering why. While there are some strange, but interesting tidbits of information, for the most part, this is a ridiculous book. Maybe that is the point, after all the author does want his audience to play with food.
Profile Image for Kit.
10 reviews1 follower
July 20, 2007
Cooking out of the box ... or out of the pot...
Profile Image for Chadwick.
306 reviews4 followers
January 2, 2008
Enh. Decent writing, but too much emphasis on isn't-it-weird without anything being that weird. Maybe carpaccio is crazy in England. Whatever buddy.
Profile Image for PJ.
348 reviews2 followers
September 3, 2007
Experiments you never thought of doing with your food or your body.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
98 reviews39 followers
December 17, 2007
I just can't seem to get enough of arrogant chefs doing kooky things...
Profile Image for Christopher Ashley.
7 reviews
September 24, 2007
there some interesting ideas and recipes in here (especially if you're curious about roasting a whole pig) but a lot of the writing is kind of twee and precious and that turns me off some.
429 reviews4 followers
September 25, 2007
Rather silly book, full of recipes that try too hard to be shocking. Ends up being rather embarrassingly ridiculous instead.
Profile Image for Dean.
88 reviews12 followers
October 1, 2008
Funny,Entertaining..wierd as hell.

If you have ever thought about eating Bugs,Toenails,Hair,Human Flesh,or Singing Hinnie this is the book for you.
Profile Image for Emery.
3 reviews
October 11, 2012
It had its moments, but there were a couple sections that were disgusting just for the gross-factor.
Profile Image for Marie.
48 reviews
September 15, 2014
Gross out factor in the first half is not very entertaining. Eked a slight comeback in the other half, squeaking by with two stars.
Profile Image for Nate Hendrix.
1,148 reviews7 followers
October 24, 2015
I think I want to cook a suckling pig for Christmas dinner. Inspired by this book.
Profile Image for JR Colmenero.
8 reviews
April 15, 2017
This is an eccentric little book that contains lots of recipes that are difficult, ridiculously decadent, and/or illegal in many regions. The author is very clever and writes well. I have learned lots of things about cannibalism and also skewering bird heads in dishes in order to scare children. Also thanks to this book I have discovered lots of new music.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews

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