Lost In The Shuffle: The Co-Dependent Reality

by Robert Subby

"Co-dependency" is the denial or repression of the real self. It is based on the wrong belief that love, acceptance, security, success, closeness and salvation are all dependent upon one's ability to do "the right thing." In the process, the co-dependent denies who he really is. Once addicted, the codependent becomes blind to the reality of his own behavior and to his own self-worth. A witty and well-told story, Lost In The Shuffle is written for those who seek to find themselves and break free of their troubled past and their present addiction to the rules the do-dependent lives by. Robert Subby presents new insights in an earthy, honest manner and shares the process of recovery with all who have been lost in the shuffle.

Genres: Self Help, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Psychology

154 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 1987

Reviews

[Brittney Kristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

While some sections were a bit difficult to follow, this book was truly such an insightful read! It dove deep into where addiction can oftentimes stem from, from alcoholism to drug addiction to relationship addiction and merely overeating. In short, we turn to outside forms of validation when we don’t feel secure in ourselves. We must cultivate a safe environment to truly explore our emotions, yet understand that we have control of our methods of expression and cannot blame our family for our problems forever. We must take ownership of our actions. Journaling and meditating are some of the best methods to discovering your true self and connecting with your scared, inner child. I’m sort of rambling here for my own knowledge? but if want to learn how to form a deeper connection with yourself and start your path to heal from broken family dynamics or generational trauma, this is a great place to start!!

[Renee Good · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick read of a hard (for some) to understand subject. More interesting and easier to relate than other popular books on co-dependency.

[Socket Klatzker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say- Bob Subby really gives in this one. I read it in my year of the self-help book. And it did- help, that is. And if I took bob too seriously, I would just look at his awesome photo on the back and remember to smile. I one is battling with co-dependency, this is by far the best book I found on the subject. Just ignore the AA speak if it does not apply.

[Name Not Found · Rating 3 out of 5]

Provides a good explanation of the problems but doesn't focus much on how to fix them. I'm not a co-dependent, I was mainly reading this to learn about the lives and mindsets of those who are, so it did help me to understand that, and it would probably be a good resource for friends/family of co-dependents. Still, not enough information on how the author changed his faulty mindsets, etc.

[Isabelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was written just when psychologists were "discovering" co-dependency, so it explains what co-dependent behavior is to some extent, but mostly it's almost a memoir of the author's own struggles with alcholism (which creates co-dependent behavior.)

[Crystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has helped me understand myself and my family A LOT.

[Leia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent explanation of codependency. I enjoyed this book, and shared it as well!