French Women Don't Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets to Finding Love

by Jamie Cat Callan

Did you know that French women don't date? American women have been missing out on a few secrets when it comes to the opposite sex. French women believe that the gift for attracting men has nothing to do with beauty, work, or even motivation. There are no Rules. And they don't listen to Dr. Phil's advice. They don't worry about the care and feeding of their boyfriend. And they certainly don't travel to Mars to communicate with men. On the contrary, French women's love lives are romantic, sensual, playful, and intense. They conduct their relationships with the same unique sense of originality and artfulness that they choose their clothes and accessories. For the first time ever, Jamie Cat Callan gives readers a personalized, guided tour through the corridors of French love.

Discover the secrets to:




Why French women always feel sexy


The French art of flirtation


Why French women walk everywhere and love to be seen


Where French women meet men


What French women do when their man misbehaves
Just as we've learned to stop torturing ourselves with fad diets and have relearned the art of eating, this witty, insightful, and candid book strives to show American women how to cultivate and enjoy the pleasures of love, romance, and marriage.

Includes delicious recipes for the perfect, amorous meal!

"Adorable!" --Erica Jong, New York Timesbestselling author ofFear of FlyingandFear of Fifty

"Attention single ladies: here's a new way to meet men and drive them wild! Jamie Cat Callan reveals sexy French secrets for upping your confidence and attracting potential mates. Your inner goddess will rejoice--and so will your new boyfriend! Ooh la la!" --Bonnie Fuller, former CEO of American Media, former editor-in-chief ofStar Magazine, and author ofThe Joys of Much Too Much: Go for the Big Life--The Great Career, The Perfect Guy, andEverything Else You've Ever Wanted

"No matter where you were born, every woman can now be a little bit French, thanks to this delightful book, French Women Don't Sleep Alone. Jamie Cat Callan helps women to look at their love lives and marriages with new eyes;love and marriage are not jobs but arts." --Nahid Rachlin, author ofPersian Girls

"Entertaining and informative!" --Helena Firth Powell, author ofAll You Need To Be Impossibly French

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, France, Relationships, Lifestyle, Psychology, How To

206 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2009

About the author

Jamie Cat Callan latest book, Parisian Charm School will be released from Penguin Random House in January 2018. She is the author of "Bonjour, Happiness!" and the wildly successful "French Women Don't Sleep Alone." Inspired by her beautiful and elegant French grandmother, Jamie has traveled all over France, interviewing hundreds of women to uncover their secrets to simple, authentic pleasures, including how to stay stylish at any age, how to enjoy more with less and how we too can find our joie de vivre, American style. Jamie is also the creator of The Writers Toolbox. Jamie has taught her unique right-brain style of writing at Grub Street, UCLA., NYU, Wesleyan University and Yale University. She has won a Massachusetts Cultural Council grant in fiction and a Virginia Center for the Creative Arts fellowship to write in Auvillar, France.

Reviews

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

French women don't date--they dine with mixed group of friends. They maintain "secret gardens" and wear boots with skirts, and know the correct ratio of bra-to-underwear. People keep reviewing this book like it's supposed to be a manual of orthodoxy whereas I'm pretty sure the author meant it as a light, enjoyable read. So just get down and enjoy it people, I mean really really really enjoy.

Here's a few extra items I learned in my twenties when I lived in Paris:

1) A ring on your fourth finger is like catnip to French men. They all want to have an affair with a married woman;

2) French men are not age-ist. If you are over 40 go to France. You will be made to feel sexy;

3) A French woman never leaves her home without some thing covering her face. She wears cream the way the rest of the world wears clothing--preemptively;

4) Ditto for scent;

5) Speaking French changes the shape of your buccal musculature. It gives you much more carved features. Even if you don't speak French, spend an hour a day making French sounds. Your face will thank you;

6) Eating good food is better than sex. Period;

7) The French, when they come to your house, will never ask to see your bedroom. They will never use your toilet. (American women pee every fifteen minutes.) They will never get drunk chez toi. (At least not after the age of 16.)

8)I once experienced the otherworldly pleasure of being in a group of six French women talking about sex. They weren't gross or detail oriented or romantic or especially knowledgeable. What they did frequently talk about was "l'abandon" -- losing oneself in "l'acte d'amour". Sensualists beyond belief;

...

[Vira Kovalova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a cute and light book to read! Loved the author's point of view on French women, I have exactly the same and this is why it was so pleasant for me to read it! Moreover, it has so many good ideas in it and I bet, I became more feminine after reading it. In our world of equality women should stay feminine, I am sure ☺️

[Sarah Brown towles · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light and easy, makes you feel good about yourself

[Marta · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not in mood for a long and deep review so quick summery:

First I didn't really like it, I only read how perfect, and intelligent, and seductive French women are, with no exceptions…and how all men fall for them. Good so far, but what disturbed me was that the behaviour described in the book was related (only)to French people, and though the advices were good but in a different country some of the advices would be useless. French have a pretty unique mentality so it's difficult to be like a French woman in other countries, where men have different expectations.

But.

I still loved this book, I'm very into the topic of French lifestyle and all, at the moment, and the book gave me what I wanted as I started to read it: a lot of practical advices. It's a quick read and it hits the point without long anecdotes and stories about the author. I really liked how it described the way French women love and take care of themselves….how to love your body and your life, how to enjoy yourself and have fun in an easy and pleasurable way, no matter if you want to flirt or keep your marriage exciting.

I will definitely read this book again simply to remind myself being more sensual and enjoy life, I've never made so many marks in any other book before haha!

Note: English is my 3rd language so don't mind grammar and style, I'm still learning ;)

[Йоана · Rating 3 out of 5]

Написани са много интересни рецепти, повечето от които мисля да опитам. В книжката има доста повторения и по някое време ми стана досадно да чета едно и също. Авторката непрекъснато прави сравнение между французойките и американките и някак ми остана усещането за страничен наблюдател и не можах напълно да усетя пренасянето в книгата.

[Mary Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

The thing I liked and learned most from this book is that American women believe on wearing sexy lingerie, good perfume, and etc only on special occasions. Whereas the French women believe every day, every moment is a special occasion. And so why don't we deserve to wear sexy lingerie and good perfume every day? So I've taken the hint and have done so, and now I feel even more beautiful and confident! I suggest in everybody else doing so, and this way we can live life to it's fullest.

[Debbi Weiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

French Women Don't Sleep Alone ~ I enjoyed this book. I agreed with MOST of what she said. The French women have a more casual way of dating and being prepared for chance meetings is a way of life for them. It's less stressful because you are not put on the spot every time you're interested in someone. The other thing is that their style of courting and dating gives the woman self confidence that many American women don't have. My French friend has many of this book's traits.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is very fun and light, and inspires confidence. Simple tips on how to enjoy your life and bask in your own allure, as well as some delicious sounding recipes. It's a great read, especially as a palate-cleanser if you have perhaps been reading back-to-back books about suffering in Africa.

[Jane Potter]

I read this really to just understand French women better. I really enjoyed reading this. It made me feel really good about being a women and just looking good and taking care of yourself for you.

[Lili · Rating 5 out of 5]

I originally read this book in February 2009, shortly after it was first released, but I wasn't a Goodreads member at the time. When I started a food blog in mid-July 2016, I thought I should re-read the book because I remembered there being a significant section about the magic of dinner parties. I was right, but there was so much more that I was glad that I invested the time in rediscovering this gem. Not that the book was a significant time investment - I read it from cover to cover with time to spare on the airplanes from Hartford to Houston. The title actually seems like a misnomer, as Jamie is advocating a change in the American woman's general approach to life, regardless of whether she is seeking to catch a man or keep a man. There is so much worth learning and discovering in this book: why the American system of dating is so exhausting, why it is important to end dating relationships on a good note, why it is necessary to cultivate friendships, why it is satisfying to feel good in your own skin, and so on. It is so inspiring that I feel like I should re-read this book every five years or so just as a check up to see how I'm doing with respect to being happy, healthy, and friendly. Of course, now I feel like I need to follow up by reading Jamie's other books - Bonjour, Happiness! and Ooh La La! French Women's Secrets to Feeling Beautiful Every Day - to further tune up my life.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a quick read, surprising since the subject matter is one of the most inscrutable in the entire world. What IS it about french women. It seems to be 2 parts this and 3 parts that, and totally unreproducible. The book touches on all sorts of things, and in a kaleidoscopic mirror way may give a reflection of an idea of a french woman may sort of resemble. But that's just it, if you could ultimately define it, the mystery would be gone. What the book does say over and over again (and which i agree with the author & also suspect is the solid gold truth of the matter) is you need to have the self confidence to be you without regrets. Belief in yourself, so simple to say and so hard to do for a girl in a look-ism society. And take decadent care of yourself, such care makes you a happier person, which makes you more beautiful whether you smile or decide to simply look mysterious about it for a while. Oh and read more books. If nothing else this book has name dropped a couple of authors I feel a need to investigate now: Amelie Nothomb & Daniel Pennac. This book may not guarantee more dates, or even more satisfying dates, but it is food for thought about what IS a date and what do you really want from it.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did not like this book, at first. The first few chapters were slow and did not hook me at all, but I kept going. I do get annoyed when authors directly mention other books in their genre as this author did. It just bothers me! I'm reading *your* book, not theirs, I'm getting to their *later* so tell me what *you* have to say! The cooking section, with recipes, felt silly to me. There was a point to be made for sure, but I did not enjoy how it was done.
However! This book, in the end, is so wonderfully articulated! It not only makes you want and desire to make your life a little more French, it gives you fantastic starting points on how to change your dress, eating, relationships, and attitude just a little bit, to help you grow and change and help you think," Would a French woman say or do that?" and slowly *poof* your life becomes a little more interesting!

[Bookworm · Rating 2 out of 5]

Overall a disappointment. I thought this book would be more about romance in the general sense, rather than a dating types sort of ideal, but unfortunately not. Some of the observations and comparisons between the relationships men and women have in France vs. the US were interesting, but I wonder how much is stereotype and how much is legitimate. Perhaps it's best to take it all with a grain of salt, but some of the tips really aren't bad.

For instance, she talks about how men and women don't really date, instead they tend to meet in groups such as dinner parties, art galleries, museums, or go on walks or bike rides. This seems like a much safer way to meet a potential partner (in both the general term and to let your friends and family see what he/she is like as well.)

Borrow it from the library or bargain bin if you're really curious.

[Irene · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author's periodic need to say certain words or phrases in French drove me insane. Why is it necessary to say in French, "jardin secret" while using words like lingerie and coterie as if they were English words??!!! It drove me mad!

The only good thing this book did was provide examples things women can do to give themselves some self-love (good hair, a good piece of clothing, soft skin), that bolster self-esteem/confidence. That's about it.

[Beáta · Rating 3 out of 5]

As I'm interested in intercultural communication and different cultures, I found it interesting. My conclusion is that French culture differs from not only American but Hungarian culture, as well. The American author's grandmother was French and she was mysterious for her that's why she wanted to know more about French women. She talked to many French women about their tricks and secrets and finally wrote this book.

[Ginger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not the greatest self-help book--my friend has a theory that it was really authored by Juanita Nonuttin, but very charming, entertaining fluff read. Extra star for helping me justify my shopping habit: I'm not frivolous with money; I'm just passionate on spending it on things I love to pamper myself like any good French woman does.

[Lily · Rating 1 out of 5]

Одиничка за згадку про інші книжки і фільми, які, можливо, краще створять французький настрій, ніж ця циклічна збірка думок, які повторюються і крутяться туди-сюди. І за вступ про бабусю-француженку, який мені сподобався.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick and easy read, with surprisingly specific information about what French women presumably "do differently" than American women. I found the ideas intriguing.

[Alicia Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great little quick read and funny too.

[Vizzy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book. It's a wonderful pool/ocean-side read because it inserted a healthy dose of self love into me. And what girl doesn't deserve that? Good positive read!

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read on the culture of France from a woman's perspective.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Similar to "French Women Don't Get Fat", this is so much more than it's title. It's a biography of a lifestyle that all Americans should look into. Loved it!

[Jelena Matic · Rating 1 out of 5]

So sad...this book should be about French women, at least it is the headline. But it is more like " Comparison of dating in France and America". I really don't care how is it in America, especially if I bought book about French women' habits. Besides, quite opposite things are written in the book. For example: " French woman are spontaneous" and then advice: " Practice flirting, you can ask a random guy on the street for direction( even if you know it). " That is not spontaneous. Or: " We spend money on cosmetics etc..we shouldn't do that" and then: " French women have always good cream, parfume,(I'm paraphrasing)". 🙄

[Baroness · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is totally cutes! It brings out the fun, flirty, sexy, sensual and seductive...feel good in your skin energy.

[Sophia · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is French Women Don't Get Fat for love and romance -- down to recipes for amorous meals. Descended from a French grandmother, Jamie Cat Callan and a friend interview French men and women (as well as some French-American expats) to delineate the feminine wiles des Francaises which she glimsped growing up.

While some of the advice is intuitive -- cultivate self-confidence, maintain your own group of friends and independence -- it does sound better under the wrappings of being French and therefore sexy. However, does wearing matching high-quality undergarments really bolster self-confidence? Callan goes a bit too far in distilling the French Woman into a stereotype that she claims American woman should emulate. She slips between describing some behaviors and attitudes as organic to French women versus their conscious manipulations to attract and keep men interested, leaving the question of whether the strategies work if consciously adopted in a goal-oriented manner to find love (which she claims American women mistakenly do.) Femninists might object to her claim that "being moody and frequently changing our minds is still and always be a female prerogative." The author overreaches when she makes claims without much evidence, for example, that the French are they way they are because of the influence of Descartes. Finally, it's unclear that what works so well in France will meet with success when transplanted into a very different American culture. Putting these concerns aside, I think the core message of being your own confident, grounded, and somewhat mysterious person with an vibrant social life outside of your relationship can't hurt, whether it's more French or not.

[Bloodorange · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a very quick (and unsubstantial) read, and it's really hard for me to imagine its target audience. While the author repeats , that in France "women of certain age" are still found attractive, and I can recall no tips or assertions considering young women exlusively, the ideas in the book (apart from two sections, on which later) are really basic, and exactly what I recall from teen mags when I was still young and promising;)

Main premises are as follows:

1. French women have their feminine/understated sexy mode 'on' all the time, instead of being relaxed, then pulling out the Big Bombshell Guns, as American women seem to do.
2. French women celebrate everyday, and splurge on good cosmetics.
3. French women wear matching underwear.
4. French women go to cafes to read, by themselves (I swear, this was the DARING thing to do when I was sixteen)
5. French women are discreet and don't do TMI.

Leave that out, and only two sections - on entertaining and meeting men - are actually worth any attention (albeit I find the former highly irritating).

[Mehmet Kır · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jamie Cat Callan used very plain language in this book. This situation is a big advantage point of the book. The book starts with one French sentence: "Le mystére de la femme française c'est que son homme sait qu'il peut la perdre à tout moment".
Tips that are given by the author about relationship made it enjoyable.And then, the author make a comprasion between French women and American women. Also, she shows the expertise of French women about relationship than American women in the book. Good Reads..

[Sheridan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really just reminds you how wonderful it is to be a woman. How soft, and pretty, and funny, and fun we can be if we let ourselves. Wonderful! The title is misleading because I didn't read it to find love. I am not looking! I read a review of the book and it seemed like it would be fun. And it was! I learned some good lessons. I shall apply quite a few of her suggestions - and was chuffed to realise that I already do do lots of these things :)

[wiroonia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I should have stopped after the recipes part.
This is the most pointless gift I've ever received.
This is the most pointless book I've ever read. The author's style is poor and clumsy, and her logic is absolutely lame.
As I read it in Ukrainian translation, I feel sorry for a translator that had to scrutinize this book

[Steve Cran · Rating 5 out of 5]

American men love international women, they are mysterious, exotic and alluring . The French women have this kind of allure and enchantment over all men who come into contact with them. How do they do it? They are much more interesting than American women and this book tells why.

This book was written by an AMerican woman who is an admirer of the French and has spent some time there. It is a guide for American women on how's to be seductive like French women are. While it is a book for women I think the men can learn a thing or two from it as well .

First off French women do not date. Dating is boring and stressful and to me totally unromantic . French women have a circle or coterie of friend, both male and females . They invite friends over to dinner parties and basically mingle with everybody and everybody mingles with everybody else. You are not closed or boxed into the two hour interview. Men and women can see each other in a natural environment. They can also converse and be flirtatious which means that the man has to compete with others for the French woman attention. IF a woman or man like each other they will often go for a walk in the park for further conversation. This lets the man observe that the woman is being admired by other men and that if he does win her heart he can still be replaced by other admirers.

French men know they can never fully possess the French woman which helps keep it interesting . He can lose her in a second if can he fails to properly attend to her. French women always maintain the mysterious so as to keep the guy guessing. They never get to familiar. French women make have their secrets and they enjoy and employ constant change. There's coterie of friends keep her confident and alive. They do not collapse into relationships and forget about everyone else. THey do things separate from their lover. Remember familiarity breeds contempt.

The author discuses several techniques for a woman to look and feel sexy. French women definitely take care of themselves . They cultivate their minds and skin. Education and really nice creams for the skin. They also eat in moderation. Enjoy everything but do not pig out. They wear lingerie underneath their clothes and even if men cannot see the lingerie the woman feels sexy and that shows.

I learned many things from this book and I recommend it highly. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.