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The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness
New York Times mega-bestselling author of The Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav takes a giant leap forward in his message, with this guide to the next level of spiritual growth.
"THE LONGEST JOURNEY YOU WILL MAKE IN YOUR LIFE IS FROM YOUR HEAD TO YOUR HEART."
With the rare combination of profound psychological insight and deep spirituality that has already drawn millions of readers to his two great national bestsellers, The Seat of the Soul and Soul Stories, prizewinning author Gary Zukav now joins with his spiritual partner Linda Francis to help us develop a new emotional awareness that is central to our spiritual development.
In The Seat of the Soul, Zukav brilliantly set forth his fundamental concepts, explaining how the expansion of human perception beyond the five senses leads to a new understanding of power as the alignment of the personality with the soul -- "authentic power." In Soul Stories, he showed how such concepts as harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life express themselves in other people's lives. Now, in The Heart of the Soul, he and Francis take the next major step forward in showing us the importance of emotional awareness in applying these concepts to our own daily lives.
"THE LONGEST JOURNEY YOU WILL MAKE IN YOUR LIFE IS FROM YOUR HEAD TO YOUR HEART."
With the rare combination of profound psychological insight and deep spirituality that has already drawn millions of readers to his two great national bestsellers, The Seat of the Soul and Soul Stories, prizewinning author Gary Zukav now joins with his spiritual partner Linda Francis to help us develop a new emotional awareness that is central to our spiritual development.
In The Seat of the Soul, Zukav brilliantly set forth his fundamental concepts, explaining how the expansion of human perception beyond the five senses leads to a new understanding of power as the alignment of the personality with the soul -- "authentic power." In Soul Stories, he showed how such concepts as harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life express themselves in other people's lives. Now, in The Heart of the Soul, he and Francis take the next major step forward in showing us the importance of emotional awareness in applying these concepts to our own daily lives.
304 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2001
259 people are currently reading
2118 people want to read
About the author
Gary Zukav
26 books847 followersGary Zukav is the author of The Dancing Wu Li Masters, winner of The American Book Award for Science; Soul Stories, a New York Times bestseller; and The Seat of the Soul, a New York Times, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Publishers Weekly #1 bestseller. His books have sold millions of copies and are published in sixteen languages. He is a graduate of Harvard and a former U.S. Army Special Forces (Green Beret) officer in Vietnam.
Gary's gentle humor, sensitivity, and deep insights have endeared him to millions of readers and listeners. Through Genesis: The Foundation for the Universal Human, he participates in retreates, programs, and other events supporting the creation of authentic power and the experience of spiritual partnership.
Gary's gentle humor, sensitivity, and deep insights have endeared him to millions of readers and listeners. Through Genesis: The Foundation for the Universal Human, he participates in retreates, programs, and other events supporting the creation of authentic power and the experience of spiritual partnership.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 82 reviews
December 4, 2010
This book first came to me in 2006. It goes through each of your defense mechanisms and knocks them out. I was about maybe half or 3/4 through the book when I basically started losing it because it was working. I had a big emotional thing to deal with and then suddenly I didn't have any defense mechanisms so I actually had to face the situation. It was OK though; in the end it worked out. I went into the pain and ended up I guess having a spiritual experience were I felt oneness with everyone. Cool.
Then I stopped reading the book, maybe because the crisis was averted or because I was freaked out. I've always wanted to go back and re-read it, but was afraid of what it would do to me.
I downloaded the audio book recently and listened to it. It's funny, I guess I have internalized a lot of the material over the past four years because the book didn't seem as challenging/shocking as it did at the time. I think I'll listen to it on a regular basis to incorporate more of the material into my subconscious and become even more aware of when I'm using defense mechanisms.
This is an extremely powerful book if you do the exercises. Things might get pretty intense, but it's worth it!
Then I stopped reading the book, maybe because the crisis was averted or because I was freaked out. I've always wanted to go back and re-read it, but was afraid of what it would do to me.
I downloaded the audio book recently and listened to it. It's funny, I guess I have internalized a lot of the material over the past four years because the book didn't seem as challenging/shocking as it did at the time. I think I'll listen to it on a regular basis to incorporate more of the material into my subconscious and become even more aware of when I'm using defense mechanisms.
This is an extremely powerful book if you do the exercises. Things might get pretty intense, but it's worth it!
December 29, 2010
I struggled with this one. It was number 2 or 3 on my spiritual adventure. I soooooo didn't want to hear about how wrong I was seeing things. I'd literally throw this book at the wall, leave it there for weeks and slowly, begrudgingly start again. It was right, always right and it pissed me off to no end. But I still refer to it from time to time.
April 8, 2017
Love this book. Super helpful with great insights. Would reread and recommend.
April 26, 2015
So that was a major disappointment!
I'd read Gary zukavs 'the seat of the soul' and loved it, so I naturally expected to come back and be floored again.
Not so much.
This book was just much too cliche, simplistic, repetitive, unnuanced and reductionist if for my taste.
Simplifying and generalizing of people's behaviors might be useful or interesting to the novice who is new to the behaviors that can serve as a way to avoid feelings.
'Can' being the keyword.
Not all anger/pleasing behavior/etc. is a way to avoid emotions.
A solution to all and every problem is to just notice and allow your feelings, no reacting to them, only observing. Which I agree is a key starting point. But unfortunately the book uses that solution and only that, for all concerns. And I do not believe that simply observing and feeling feelings is enough for healing. To heal you have to go beyond the feelings and to the thoughts that give rise to them, the circumstances you're responding to or the painful memories and conditioned responses that keep triggering you. You have to follow the emotions to their often painful root, and see what lies beneath it. And then can you discover whether this response and emotion is healthy or not.
Maybe anger is a 'new' and healthy response in the right direction for someone who has had trouble saying no and maintaining their boundaries out of fear of not being loved, low self esteem, a tendency to please and so on. But for someone like that anger can be a scary feeling of you aren't familiar with it. It can be healthy, but you still need to monitor it and know why it's arising and whether it's healthy or unhealthy.
This is just to say that you can't divide people into categories where a certain emotion or behavior is taking out of context and assumed to always be because of this or that.
People are much more complex.
Another problem I had with this book is its one and only solution (which is repeated to the point of madness. I really don't need to hear the same thing repeated on every. Single. Page.): investigate and feel your feelings. (Through your bodily responses which are ether fear of trust based. This is also stated about every page.)
Like I said I agree that this is important, but what is equally if not more important is what you do with the patterns behind the feelings and how you change them. Of this, the book is very silent.
Which is useless and disappointing at best but could be a severe problem to people who have used these strategies because of a lot of pent up fear and who are not usually aware of these feelings or how to cope with them (probably why they developed these strategies in the first place). If these people even get to the point of daring to let themselves feel these feelings but not knowing what to do with what lies beneath, they risk being so overwhelmed by fear that they will shut the door and be back where they started or worse: drown in their emotions which could lead to a likely or worsened state like depression or panic attacks or what not.
So: I'm all for investigating your emotional responses and taking responsibility for them, I think that's an important first step: self awareness. And yes feelings are good feedback, good messengers and signposts. BUT I think it's equally important to dig a little deeper; what are you running from? What are you so afraid of? How did this fear arise? How did the response act as a coping mechanism for you (the authors generalisations may not be true for you). And how are you going to gently, and lovingly heal yourself without guilt and with small steps?
To answer those important questions there are other books that have helped me a lot more in my spiritual and physical life on how to deal with my emotions. Books like ' The untethered soul' for example. Or sanaya Romans books.
I'd read Gary zukavs 'the seat of the soul' and loved it, so I naturally expected to come back and be floored again.
Not so much.
This book was just much too cliche, simplistic, repetitive, unnuanced and reductionist if for my taste.
Simplifying and generalizing of people's behaviors might be useful or interesting to the novice who is new to the behaviors that can serve as a way to avoid feelings.
'Can' being the keyword.
Not all anger/pleasing behavior/etc. is a way to avoid emotions.
A solution to all and every problem is to just notice and allow your feelings, no reacting to them, only observing. Which I agree is a key starting point. But unfortunately the book uses that solution and only that, for all concerns. And I do not believe that simply observing and feeling feelings is enough for healing. To heal you have to go beyond the feelings and to the thoughts that give rise to them, the circumstances you're responding to or the painful memories and conditioned responses that keep triggering you. You have to follow the emotions to their often painful root, and see what lies beneath it. And then can you discover whether this response and emotion is healthy or not.
Maybe anger is a 'new' and healthy response in the right direction for someone who has had trouble saying no and maintaining their boundaries out of fear of not being loved, low self esteem, a tendency to please and so on. But for someone like that anger can be a scary feeling of you aren't familiar with it. It can be healthy, but you still need to monitor it and know why it's arising and whether it's healthy or unhealthy.
This is just to say that you can't divide people into categories where a certain emotion or behavior is taking out of context and assumed to always be because of this or that.
People are much more complex.
Another problem I had with this book is its one and only solution (which is repeated to the point of madness. I really don't need to hear the same thing repeated on every. Single. Page.): investigate and feel your feelings. (Through your bodily responses which are ether fear of trust based. This is also stated about every page.)
Like I said I agree that this is important, but what is equally if not more important is what you do with the patterns behind the feelings and how you change them. Of this, the book is very silent.
Which is useless and disappointing at best but could be a severe problem to people who have used these strategies because of a lot of pent up fear and who are not usually aware of these feelings or how to cope with them (probably why they developed these strategies in the first place). If these people even get to the point of daring to let themselves feel these feelings but not knowing what to do with what lies beneath, they risk being so overwhelmed by fear that they will shut the door and be back where they started or worse: drown in their emotions which could lead to a likely or worsened state like depression or panic attacks or what not.
So: I'm all for investigating your emotional responses and taking responsibility for them, I think that's an important first step: self awareness. And yes feelings are good feedback, good messengers and signposts. BUT I think it's equally important to dig a little deeper; what are you running from? What are you so afraid of? How did this fear arise? How did the response act as a coping mechanism for you (the authors generalisations may not be true for you). And how are you going to gently, and lovingly heal yourself without guilt and with small steps?
To answer those important questions there are other books that have helped me a lot more in my spiritual and physical life on how to deal with my emotions. Books like ' The untethered soul' for example. Or sanaya Romans books.
April 6, 2018
Until you have the courage to face and experience the pain that lies beneath your anger, you will continue to become angry. Your anger is a way of resisting the experience of your pain. Anger i snot resistance to a particular circumstance. It is resistance to the world not being the way you want it to be. Anger is pure frustration at not being able to arrange your life and others as you would like. Rage is never against an individual or organization or any other target, no matter how much is seems to be.
Affirmation:
“I open myself to the possibility that my anger is my resistance to experience my pain and my resistance to the world not being the way I want it to be.”
Rage is an excruciating experience of powerlessness. Striking out in rage is an act of powerlessness. Obtaining revenge and proving guilt are expressions of despair and helplessness. Like the small animal that attacks the larger animal, you have given up hope. There is nothing else left to do except the experience of what you are feeling. Acting on anger, rage and vengefulness are your last resorts.
They never work. The world continues to be other than the way you want it to be and the pain of that does not diminish. Instead, your anger increases. You think you are consumed by emotion, by uncontrollable anger. On the contrary you are diverting all your energy into avoiding your emotions and that diversion or resistance is the experience of anger.
Your anger is a clear, unmissable signal that you are in pain. The Universe is directing your attention to an inner dynamic that needs to be examined. The inner dynamic is not your anger; it is the cause of your anger. That is your pain. Challenging your anger begins the process of healing what causes it. When you set the intention for example not to speak or act in anger no matter how angry you become, when you look for new ways to speak and act when you feel angry you invoke the assistance of the Universe and assistance comes to you.
Anger is the path of least resistance. Rage, emotional withdrawal, seething resentment, compulsive criticism, and the hunger for revenge all mask a pain so intense that is unapproachable. Until the pain is acknowledged and experienced, it continues to trigger anger and depression.
Anger and depression are not the problems — they point to the problems. Beneath the pain that lies beneath the anger is an ocean of fear. This fear is more than fear of the dark or an animal or being rejected— it is a terror of being alive. Of not belonging, of being alone and of being unable to survive. This terror is not a reaction to particular circumstances. It is the horror of living in a world for which you feel unprepared and in which you feel powerless.
At the bottom of this entire emotional dynamic lie the origin of all these painful experiences. That is lack of self-worth, the experience of being without value — to yourself,, other and the Universe. Lack of self-worth is the fundamental source of all emotional pain. It is the root of the plant. Anger and depression are flowers. Pain at the world not being the way that you want it forms the branches. Terry at being alive is the trunk. Lack of self-worth is the root.
You may have admirers, friend and a loving family. You may exceed all your goals. The lack of self-worth that underlies this complex emotional dynamic exists independently of your accomplishments or lack of accomplishments. It continually generates terror, emotional pain, anger and depression. It cannot be uprooted by altering the external world. No amount of doing, accomplishing, praise or admiration can tough it. No amount of love, caring companionship or support can diminish it.
This is the experience of insecurity, unworthiness and lack of value. It is the for experience of powerlessness. Reaching outward to fill this inner hole r lack of self-worth is the pursuit of external power — the ability to manipulate and control. The pursuit of external power has been the way that humankind has evolved since its origin. Now that is changing. The new evolutionary pathway of humankind is looking inward, finding the sources of its insecurities and healing them. That is the pursuit of authentic power. The alignment of the personality with the soul.
Your emotions are signposts that point to the parts of yourself that require healing. They are streetlights on a dark night that illuminate the road. They are broadcasts particularly created for you you alone of information required for you to grow spiritually.
Emotional awareness and spiritual growth develop together. As you become aware of everything you are feeling all the time, you embark upon the path of spiritual growth. You cannot embark upon this path an remain ignorant of your emotions. Ignorance of you emotions results in your being controlled by parts of yourself that are generating your emotions.
Perfection is everywhere. It is in the creation of your circumstance and in the potential for insight that your circumstances offer you. It is your life and all that is in it. It is the lives of others and all that is in them. It is the never-ending experiences that provide you, in each moment, opportunities to see the relationship between what you choose and what you experience. It is the compassion and wisdom that continually nudge you toward greater awareness and freedom.
Perfectionism is the process of ignoring what is already perfect. It is a light from the power of the present moment and fear of feeling it. Perfectionism is a intellectual exercise that draws attention away from emotions and prevents the exploration of your creative power. It is an avoidance of your responsibility. It is perpetually building sand castles before and incoming tide. each collapse of a castle creates and urgent need to build another. Neigh the castles nor the tide is important. Only the endless building is important. That is the experience of perfectionism.
When you stare for perfection, you compare different pictures of what could be instead of being present with what is. Perfectionism is an ongoing experience of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. You are always on th less green side, striving to make your side look like the other side. Perfectionism is leaking energy to a future that does not yet exist. It takes you away from the present moment where your power resides and into an imaginary future. In that future, your desk is clear of all work, your home is arranged as you desire and other behave in ways you approve. Perfectionism in an attempt to inhabit an imaginary world in order to avoid experiencing the work in which you live.
Every impose to create perfection is the pursuit of external power. It is looking outward in an attempt tot sooth painful experiences by arranging the external world instead of looking inward to locate the sources of your pain and heal them.
Perfectionism in an enforced rigidity that prevents the natural flow of energy and intelligence — the energy of you emotional experience and the intelligence of the Universe attempting to guide you. When you focus on your idea of perceptions, you are not aware of your energy system, of how energy in your energy system is being processes or where. Your concern is only with changing your physical circumstances.
As you pursue your ideas of perfection, more circumstances appear that need to be changed. You believe you are moving toward a goal, but the destination that beckons to you — a world in which you are caught up with your work, loved, attractive and worthy — forever recedes before you. You cannot reach it any more that you can arrive at the horizon. You are never caught up with all that you have to do. No matter how much weight you lose. you never feel attractive. No matter how much you accomplish, you never feel competent. No matter how much you are loved, you never feel lovable.
You see yourself fan others in a harsh and cruel light. Your life appears inadequate no matter how much you work, change and improve. Perfectionism is the continual judgment of yourself and others as deficient. The more you judge, the more deficiencies you see.
Perfectionism establishes a residence in your mind and an imaginary future, but your emotions do not stop while you focus on perceptions. They continue to motivate your behaviors, affect your precipitins and change your body. Perfectionism and anxiety go together. Anxiety and ulcers, gastric distress, muscle tension, high blood pressure and chromic fatigue go together too.
Perfectionism is the opposite of emotional awareness. Emotional awareness is relaxing into the present moment, even when the present moment contains painful emotions. It is allowing everything you are feeling into your consciousness. It is observing the functioning of your energy system moment by moment. It is identifying types of thoughts with physical sensations. It is feeling what is within you as well as seeing what is around you.
Perfectionism is a perpetual flight into an illusory future that cannot be attained. It is a hunger that cannot be satisfied, a thirst that cannot be quenched and pain that cannot be relieved. It is a persistent and painful drama that lures your attention away from what can feed you, nourish you, satisfy you and fulfill you.
People Pleasing
The desire to please others people is a potent way to distract yourself from what you are feeling. While you are trying to avoid the displeasure of others, you are in extreme displeasure yourself. You are tense and ready for the worst. Your focus is on other people and wha they are experiencing. You igonore you own experiences except those of anxiety and fear.
The impulse to please other people is a powerful dynamic that is generated by fear of loss. You think that you cannot live without that which you fear losing, and so the need to gain the approval, admiration, caring and love of other people is intense. Emotionally it is a life and death matter. when other people show displeasure it crates terror in you which is extremely painful. It contract the muscles, accelerates pulse and respiration and focuses attention narrowly, among many other things. all that matter is pleasing another or others.
If those who you are trying to please cannot be please this terror becomes more intense. The more intense it becomes the more painful it biomes and the greater becomes the need to please. Them implies to please in not the experience of terror of the physical pain of terror. It is a mask that covers the depth and intensity of the pain. It not only hides pain from others, it hides it from you also. Like anger, the need to please covers extreme pain.
Anger is rebellion agains circumstances or others. It is the pursuit of external power — the ability to manipulate and control. The purpose of anger is to alter the behavior of others and by doing so, make the one who rages feel better. The desire to please is the other side of the same dynamic. The desire to please is an attempt to change others in order to make the one who pleases feel better.
Anger and the need to please are both generated by fear of extremely painful emotions. They are capping experiences. They put a lid on what you feel. In neither case does the underlying pain come into awareness. In the first case, it is covered by rage. IN the second instance, it is blocked from awareness by a narrow focus on what others are feeling.
Individuals who attempt to please and who become angry both have authority issues. They are competitors in the pursuit of external power. The one who rages purses it overtly, while the one who attempt to please pursue it covertly. Only the form of manipulation is different. Each keeps others at a distance. Each is intent on controlling others and each is frightened. Each is attempting to find the identical missing piece but in different ways.
Individuals who need to please and those who dominate through anger and rage always find one another. They are colleagues in the Earth school who are enrolled in the same classy. It may be a father who dominates and a daughter who becomes submissive. It may be a mother who rages and a son who beamed focused on avoiding her anger. The challenge for all is to develop the ability and the courage to confront the pain that lies beneath their behaviors.
Healing the need to please or uncontrollable anger is a sacred task. It is part of what you were born to do and doing it is necessary before you can give the gifts you should desires to give which is also part of what you were born to do. When an individual challenges his desire to please others or to become enraged, he sets foot on the spiritual path. She begins that process that, when completed will result in an authentically empowered personality — one in alignment with its soul.
An authentically emperor personality naturally creates harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for life. You cannot create these when you are trying to please someone. The intention to become what you think another person wants you to be disrupts harmony even though it may temporarily reduce tension. It prevents cooperation and sharing. you cannot express creativity expect this parts of yourself that you think will be welcomed. You cannot revere others — relate to them soul to soul — and you cannot utilize the vast depth and power of your presence on the Earth or appreciate theirs.
Someone who needs to please is constantly trying to see how others are feeling so that she will know how to be with them. She cannot take their requests and communications at face value. She tries to guess what they are really saying or requesting. That is because she herself does not communicate what she is feeling, thinking or requesting. Her expressions are obscure leaving room to maneuver in case her communication, feelings or thoughts arouse displeasure.
If another person is unhappy she tried to determine how to make that person happy so that she will be more safe. If a someone becomes upset, she becomes frightened. She feels the smallest mistake can have terrifying consequences so that she must be careful of how she speaks and acts in order to avoid rejection and she is constantly vigilant for displeasure.
An individual who needs to please is always tense. Anxiety is their constant companion.
They learn to have no opinion. When one is requested, they freeze. He will not speak for fear of rejection. he must hear the opinions of others first in order not to offend. The opinions of other, like ht needs of others, are more important to him than his own. Pleasing seems natural to him because he does not see himself as worthy of the concern that he directs outward. his stager is to focus on others to that he will be accepted by them. One who pleases places his self-worth into the hands of other and depends completely upon their judgment — while doing his best to influence their judgment.
She ignores herself. Because she does not taker care of herself, she waits for other to take care of her. She does not feel worthy to ask for what she needs. When she does not get it, she becomes resentful. She feels that her devotion which is actually compulsion to care for others is not reciprocated, but when it is returned she cannot accept it. she cannot allow other sot care for her because she does not believe that they want to . Her feelings of unworthiness prevent her from believing that others could care for her and so she suspects that those who appear to care for her have hidden agendas. She cannot accept love or caring form others because that does not fit her self-image.
If he fails to create the acceptance that he seeks, he feels inferior, rejected, upset and despairing. The wind leaves his sails. He is exhausted by the unsuccessful efforts. Feelings of unworthiness overwhelm him. He interprets disagreement as rejection and inquiries as accusations of incompetence.
If he things about the indecent later, he becomes resentful and his resentment is deep because it is generated not only by that experience of rejection but also by the many experiences that preceded it. His continual search for sings of rejection develops into a hypersensitivity and he frequently construes words and actions as the rejection seeks to avoid.
Resenting and pleasing conflict. Therefore resentment is buried while he attempts to please but when his attempt fail, resentment emerges. If he does not feel safe enough to express it, he becomes consumed with hurt. He feels invisible and unworthy. Occasionally he feels his resentment but expressing it is not impossible.
When the pleaser does feel safe enough to express her resentment, it is with other individuals who need to please. When an individual who dominates through anger is unsuccessful he doubts himself and feels insecure, creating a need to please. The one who pleased becomes, when she feels safe enough, one who rages. The one who rages, when he is frightened enough, comes one who pleases.
Pleasing prevents you from experiencing your emotions because you are attempting to feel the emotions that other people are experiencing. You become lost in the statement. You feel judged but one, disproved by another, accepted by a third and so on. Your own emotions are inaccessible to you because you are focused elsewhere.
Pleasing narrows your emotional experience to fear and anxiety with moments of relief when you feel that you have succeeded. Then fear that you will not be able to continue shatters your relief. Yo feel that you are emotionally aware, but you are not. The pain of rejection remains. you cannot breathe freely, relax into your life, express your creativiy or appreciate yourself and others.
Others cannot appreciate you either. They do no know who you are and you do not know who you are. You define yourself in terms of what you think are their perceptions. your thoughts, speech and behavior constantly change because your estimate of their perceptions always change. The pain of the rejection you seek to avoid goes unexplored and continues to create the need to please.
Since the need to please at all times is a goal that cannot be accomplished, you ensure yourself an endless effort that continually take you farther from your own feelings. This is the goal of pleasing — to avoid experiencing emotions that are too painful or shameful to confront. It is a technique to isolate you from your fear of losing love, a method of keeping you from your experience of unworthiness and the terror that accompanies it. It is a flight from all that the Universe seeks to bring to your attention dn defense against your own fullness, richness and greatness.
The strategy of pleasing others does not appear as a strategy to those who use it. it appears as the only way that their lives can be. They cannot imagine other ways of being. Becoming aware of what they doing and how they are doing it gives then a new perspective. It alleys them to see the dynamic of attempting to please other individuals or raging at them of what it is — a particular way of experiencing themselves and others.
They can see for themselves that attempting to manipulate others by pleasing them or rain at them is not a pain that everyone walks, nor is it the only path available to them. It is one of ashy ways of avoiding emotions.
Affirmation:
“I open myself to the possibility that my anger is my resistance to experience my pain and my resistance to the world not being the way I want it to be.”
Rage is an excruciating experience of powerlessness. Striking out in rage is an act of powerlessness. Obtaining revenge and proving guilt are expressions of despair and helplessness. Like the small animal that attacks the larger animal, you have given up hope. There is nothing else left to do except the experience of what you are feeling. Acting on anger, rage and vengefulness are your last resorts.
They never work. The world continues to be other than the way you want it to be and the pain of that does not diminish. Instead, your anger increases. You think you are consumed by emotion, by uncontrollable anger. On the contrary you are diverting all your energy into avoiding your emotions and that diversion or resistance is the experience of anger.
Your anger is a clear, unmissable signal that you are in pain. The Universe is directing your attention to an inner dynamic that needs to be examined. The inner dynamic is not your anger; it is the cause of your anger. That is your pain. Challenging your anger begins the process of healing what causes it. When you set the intention for example not to speak or act in anger no matter how angry you become, when you look for new ways to speak and act when you feel angry you invoke the assistance of the Universe and assistance comes to you.
Anger is the path of least resistance. Rage, emotional withdrawal, seething resentment, compulsive criticism, and the hunger for revenge all mask a pain so intense that is unapproachable. Until the pain is acknowledged and experienced, it continues to trigger anger and depression.
Anger and depression are not the problems — they point to the problems. Beneath the pain that lies beneath the anger is an ocean of fear. This fear is more than fear of the dark or an animal or being rejected— it is a terror of being alive. Of not belonging, of being alone and of being unable to survive. This terror is not a reaction to particular circumstances. It is the horror of living in a world for which you feel unprepared and in which you feel powerless.
At the bottom of this entire emotional dynamic lie the origin of all these painful experiences. That is lack of self-worth, the experience of being without value — to yourself,, other and the Universe. Lack of self-worth is the fundamental source of all emotional pain. It is the root of the plant. Anger and depression are flowers. Pain at the world not being the way that you want it forms the branches. Terry at being alive is the trunk. Lack of self-worth is the root.
You may have admirers, friend and a loving family. You may exceed all your goals. The lack of self-worth that underlies this complex emotional dynamic exists independently of your accomplishments or lack of accomplishments. It continually generates terror, emotional pain, anger and depression. It cannot be uprooted by altering the external world. No amount of doing, accomplishing, praise or admiration can tough it. No amount of love, caring companionship or support can diminish it.
This is the experience of insecurity, unworthiness and lack of value. It is the for experience of powerlessness. Reaching outward to fill this inner hole r lack of self-worth is the pursuit of external power — the ability to manipulate and control. The pursuit of external power has been the way that humankind has evolved since its origin. Now that is changing. The new evolutionary pathway of humankind is looking inward, finding the sources of its insecurities and healing them. That is the pursuit of authentic power. The alignment of the personality with the soul.
Your emotions are signposts that point to the parts of yourself that require healing. They are streetlights on a dark night that illuminate the road. They are broadcasts particularly created for you you alone of information required for you to grow spiritually.
Emotional awareness and spiritual growth develop together. As you become aware of everything you are feeling all the time, you embark upon the path of spiritual growth. You cannot embark upon this path an remain ignorant of your emotions. Ignorance of you emotions results in your being controlled by parts of yourself that are generating your emotions.
Perfection is everywhere. It is in the creation of your circumstance and in the potential for insight that your circumstances offer you. It is your life and all that is in it. It is the lives of others and all that is in them. It is the never-ending experiences that provide you, in each moment, opportunities to see the relationship between what you choose and what you experience. It is the compassion and wisdom that continually nudge you toward greater awareness and freedom.
Perfectionism is the process of ignoring what is already perfect. It is a light from the power of the present moment and fear of feeling it. Perfectionism is a intellectual exercise that draws attention away from emotions and prevents the exploration of your creative power. It is an avoidance of your responsibility. It is perpetually building sand castles before and incoming tide. each collapse of a castle creates and urgent need to build another. Neigh the castles nor the tide is important. Only the endless building is important. That is the experience of perfectionism.
When you stare for perfection, you compare different pictures of what could be instead of being present with what is. Perfectionism is an ongoing experience of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. You are always on th less green side, striving to make your side look like the other side. Perfectionism is leaking energy to a future that does not yet exist. It takes you away from the present moment where your power resides and into an imaginary future. In that future, your desk is clear of all work, your home is arranged as you desire and other behave in ways you approve. Perfectionism in an attempt to inhabit an imaginary world in order to avoid experiencing the work in which you live.
Every impose to create perfection is the pursuit of external power. It is looking outward in an attempt tot sooth painful experiences by arranging the external world instead of looking inward to locate the sources of your pain and heal them.
Perfectionism in an enforced rigidity that prevents the natural flow of energy and intelligence — the energy of you emotional experience and the intelligence of the Universe attempting to guide you. When you focus on your idea of perceptions, you are not aware of your energy system, of how energy in your energy system is being processes or where. Your concern is only with changing your physical circumstances.
As you pursue your ideas of perfection, more circumstances appear that need to be changed. You believe you are moving toward a goal, but the destination that beckons to you — a world in which you are caught up with your work, loved, attractive and worthy — forever recedes before you. You cannot reach it any more that you can arrive at the horizon. You are never caught up with all that you have to do. No matter how much weight you lose. you never feel attractive. No matter how much you accomplish, you never feel competent. No matter how much you are loved, you never feel lovable.
You see yourself fan others in a harsh and cruel light. Your life appears inadequate no matter how much you work, change and improve. Perfectionism is the continual judgment of yourself and others as deficient. The more you judge, the more deficiencies you see.
Perfectionism establishes a residence in your mind and an imaginary future, but your emotions do not stop while you focus on perceptions. They continue to motivate your behaviors, affect your precipitins and change your body. Perfectionism and anxiety go together. Anxiety and ulcers, gastric distress, muscle tension, high blood pressure and chromic fatigue go together too.
Perfectionism is the opposite of emotional awareness. Emotional awareness is relaxing into the present moment, even when the present moment contains painful emotions. It is allowing everything you are feeling into your consciousness. It is observing the functioning of your energy system moment by moment. It is identifying types of thoughts with physical sensations. It is feeling what is within you as well as seeing what is around you.
Perfectionism is a perpetual flight into an illusory future that cannot be attained. It is a hunger that cannot be satisfied, a thirst that cannot be quenched and pain that cannot be relieved. It is a persistent and painful drama that lures your attention away from what can feed you, nourish you, satisfy you and fulfill you.
People Pleasing
The desire to please others people is a potent way to distract yourself from what you are feeling. While you are trying to avoid the displeasure of others, you are in extreme displeasure yourself. You are tense and ready for the worst. Your focus is on other people and wha they are experiencing. You igonore you own experiences except those of anxiety and fear.
The impulse to please other people is a powerful dynamic that is generated by fear of loss. You think that you cannot live without that which you fear losing, and so the need to gain the approval, admiration, caring and love of other people is intense. Emotionally it is a life and death matter. when other people show displeasure it crates terror in you which is extremely painful. It contract the muscles, accelerates pulse and respiration and focuses attention narrowly, among many other things. all that matter is pleasing another or others.
If those who you are trying to please cannot be please this terror becomes more intense. The more intense it becomes the more painful it biomes and the greater becomes the need to please. Them implies to please in not the experience of terror of the physical pain of terror. It is a mask that covers the depth and intensity of the pain. It not only hides pain from others, it hides it from you also. Like anger, the need to please covers extreme pain.
Anger is rebellion agains circumstances or others. It is the pursuit of external power — the ability to manipulate and control. The purpose of anger is to alter the behavior of others and by doing so, make the one who rages feel better. The desire to please is the other side of the same dynamic. The desire to please is an attempt to change others in order to make the one who pleases feel better.
Anger and the need to please are both generated by fear of extremely painful emotions. They are capping experiences. They put a lid on what you feel. In neither case does the underlying pain come into awareness. In the first case, it is covered by rage. IN the second instance, it is blocked from awareness by a narrow focus on what others are feeling.
Individuals who attempt to please and who become angry both have authority issues. They are competitors in the pursuit of external power. The one who rages purses it overtly, while the one who attempt to please pursue it covertly. Only the form of manipulation is different. Each keeps others at a distance. Each is intent on controlling others and each is frightened. Each is attempting to find the identical missing piece but in different ways.
Individuals who need to please and those who dominate through anger and rage always find one another. They are colleagues in the Earth school who are enrolled in the same classy. It may be a father who dominates and a daughter who becomes submissive. It may be a mother who rages and a son who beamed focused on avoiding her anger. The challenge for all is to develop the ability and the courage to confront the pain that lies beneath their behaviors.
Healing the need to please or uncontrollable anger is a sacred task. It is part of what you were born to do and doing it is necessary before you can give the gifts you should desires to give which is also part of what you were born to do. When an individual challenges his desire to please others or to become enraged, he sets foot on the spiritual path. She begins that process that, when completed will result in an authentically empowered personality — one in alignment with its soul.
An authentically emperor personality naturally creates harmony, cooperation, sharing and reverence for life. You cannot create these when you are trying to please someone. The intention to become what you think another person wants you to be disrupts harmony even though it may temporarily reduce tension. It prevents cooperation and sharing. you cannot express creativity expect this parts of yourself that you think will be welcomed. You cannot revere others — relate to them soul to soul — and you cannot utilize the vast depth and power of your presence on the Earth or appreciate theirs.
Someone who needs to please is constantly trying to see how others are feeling so that she will know how to be with them. She cannot take their requests and communications at face value. She tries to guess what they are really saying or requesting. That is because she herself does not communicate what she is feeling, thinking or requesting. Her expressions are obscure leaving room to maneuver in case her communication, feelings or thoughts arouse displeasure.
If another person is unhappy she tried to determine how to make that person happy so that she will be more safe. If a someone becomes upset, she becomes frightened. She feels the smallest mistake can have terrifying consequences so that she must be careful of how she speaks and acts in order to avoid rejection and she is constantly vigilant for displeasure.
An individual who needs to please is always tense. Anxiety is their constant companion.
They learn to have no opinion. When one is requested, they freeze. He will not speak for fear of rejection. he must hear the opinions of others first in order not to offend. The opinions of other, like ht needs of others, are more important to him than his own. Pleasing seems natural to him because he does not see himself as worthy of the concern that he directs outward. his stager is to focus on others to that he will be accepted by them. One who pleases places his self-worth into the hands of other and depends completely upon their judgment — while doing his best to influence their judgment.
She ignores herself. Because she does not taker care of herself, she waits for other to take care of her. She does not feel worthy to ask for what she needs. When she does not get it, she becomes resentful. She feels that her devotion which is actually compulsion to care for others is not reciprocated, but when it is returned she cannot accept it. she cannot allow other sot care for her because she does not believe that they want to . Her feelings of unworthiness prevent her from believing that others could care for her and so she suspects that those who appear to care for her have hidden agendas. She cannot accept love or caring form others because that does not fit her self-image.
If he fails to create the acceptance that he seeks, he feels inferior, rejected, upset and despairing. The wind leaves his sails. He is exhausted by the unsuccessful efforts. Feelings of unworthiness overwhelm him. He interprets disagreement as rejection and inquiries as accusations of incompetence.
If he things about the indecent later, he becomes resentful and his resentment is deep because it is generated not only by that experience of rejection but also by the many experiences that preceded it. His continual search for sings of rejection develops into a hypersensitivity and he frequently construes words and actions as the rejection seeks to avoid.
Resenting and pleasing conflict. Therefore resentment is buried while he attempts to please but when his attempt fail, resentment emerges. If he does not feel safe enough to express it, he becomes consumed with hurt. He feels invisible and unworthy. Occasionally he feels his resentment but expressing it is not impossible.
When the pleaser does feel safe enough to express her resentment, it is with other individuals who need to please. When an individual who dominates through anger is unsuccessful he doubts himself and feels insecure, creating a need to please. The one who pleased becomes, when she feels safe enough, one who rages. The one who rages, when he is frightened enough, comes one who pleases.
Pleasing prevents you from experiencing your emotions because you are attempting to feel the emotions that other people are experiencing. You become lost in the statement. You feel judged but one, disproved by another, accepted by a third and so on. Your own emotions are inaccessible to you because you are focused elsewhere.
Pleasing narrows your emotional experience to fear and anxiety with moments of relief when you feel that you have succeeded. Then fear that you will not be able to continue shatters your relief. Yo feel that you are emotionally aware, but you are not. The pain of rejection remains. you cannot breathe freely, relax into your life, express your creativiy or appreciate yourself and others.
Others cannot appreciate you either. They do no know who you are and you do not know who you are. You define yourself in terms of what you think are their perceptions. your thoughts, speech and behavior constantly change because your estimate of their perceptions always change. The pain of the rejection you seek to avoid goes unexplored and continues to create the need to please.
Since the need to please at all times is a goal that cannot be accomplished, you ensure yourself an endless effort that continually take you farther from your own feelings. This is the goal of pleasing — to avoid experiencing emotions that are too painful or shameful to confront. It is a technique to isolate you from your fear of losing love, a method of keeping you from your experience of unworthiness and the terror that accompanies it. It is a flight from all that the Universe seeks to bring to your attention dn defense against your own fullness, richness and greatness.
The strategy of pleasing others does not appear as a strategy to those who use it. it appears as the only way that their lives can be. They cannot imagine other ways of being. Becoming aware of what they doing and how they are doing it gives then a new perspective. It alleys them to see the dynamic of attempting to please other individuals or raging at them of what it is — a particular way of experiencing themselves and others.
They can see for themselves that attempting to manipulate others by pleasing them or rain at them is not a pain that everyone walks, nor is it the only path available to them. It is one of ashy ways of avoiding emotions.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2023
I was unsure whether to give this book 3 or 4 stars. Because of the great wisdom that many of the chapters contain, I think a 4 is justified.
I will start with the positives…
The ‘Part 2’ section is exceptional. It categorises common coping mechanisms and character defects, designed to escape the present moment and avoid our emotions; perfectionism, workaholism and boredom are to name a few. This section allowed me to identify my own personal defects, and better understand HOW I have used them to avoid feeling my emotions. As such, I found this a therapeutic experience. By understanding how my perfectionism contributes to a self-perception of low self-worth, I am better prepared to heal this part of myself.
Also, this book taught me the difference between “emotional awareness” and “emotional involvement”, which I am thankful for.
The biggest drawbacks of the book, are the reductionist, often laughable, perspectives that the authors take. For example…
When discussing ‘Judgement’, the author states:
“If you did not possess the characteristics you distain so, you would have no emotional reaction to them” - that is fundamentally untrue.
Similarly, “Your painful emotions tell you what needs to be changed in you, not in other people” - Not necessarily. What if I do something nice for someone, they call me a c*nt, and that makes me feel disappointed and upset? You’re telling me that’s symbolic of a need for change in ME?!
This book implies that if you resolve all of your inner pain, then you will never again be angry, upset or judge someone. It is too reductionist in its assumptions and hence, should be taken with a pinch of salt in this regard.
However, in summary, this book has had a positive impact on me. Despite the reductive assumptions it makes, it turns the reader inwards. It makes the reader aware of the necessity to be present with and feel your emotions. It guides the reader towards a developed understanding of emotional awareness, distinct from emotional involvement, emotional detachment, emotional escapism and emotional resistance. I would recommend to anyone wanting to become more aware of their inner dynamics at the heart of their intentions.
I will start with the positives…
The ‘Part 2’ section is exceptional. It categorises common coping mechanisms and character defects, designed to escape the present moment and avoid our emotions; perfectionism, workaholism and boredom are to name a few. This section allowed me to identify my own personal defects, and better understand HOW I have used them to avoid feeling my emotions. As such, I found this a therapeutic experience. By understanding how my perfectionism contributes to a self-perception of low self-worth, I am better prepared to heal this part of myself.
Also, this book taught me the difference between “emotional awareness” and “emotional involvement”, which I am thankful for.
The biggest drawbacks of the book, are the reductionist, often laughable, perspectives that the authors take. For example…
When discussing ‘Judgement’, the author states:
“If you did not possess the characteristics you distain so, you would have no emotional reaction to them” - that is fundamentally untrue.
Similarly, “Your painful emotions tell you what needs to be changed in you, not in other people” - Not necessarily. What if I do something nice for someone, they call me a c*nt, and that makes me feel disappointed and upset? You’re telling me that’s symbolic of a need for change in ME?!
This book implies that if you resolve all of your inner pain, then you will never again be angry, upset or judge someone. It is too reductionist in its assumptions and hence, should be taken with a pinch of salt in this regard.
However, in summary, this book has had a positive impact on me. Despite the reductive assumptions it makes, it turns the reader inwards. It makes the reader aware of the necessity to be present with and feel your emotions. It guides the reader towards a developed understanding of emotional awareness, distinct from emotional involvement, emotional detachment, emotional escapism and emotional resistance. I would recommend to anyone wanting to become more aware of their inner dynamics at the heart of their intentions.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 17, 2013
This is Zukav's most accessible book. It is easy to read but it felt like he was just rehashing old books. Seat of the Soul and Soul Stories arr much better books.
August 21, 2015
Not especially well written, but the book provided some insights to emotional health during a time when I needed them! With the right timing, this is a worthwhile read!
December 10, 2016
The Heart of the Soul: Emotional Awareness (Paperback)
by Gary Zukav
I have the audio book of this and the hard cover edition with a dust jacket. Aug 2012 bought another hard cover with a dust jacket, which I then loaned for long term to Avi.
this is a good manual for learning to manage our own emotions
from the library computer:
Table of Contents
Welcome 13 (8)
PART I: FUNDAMENTALS
The New Species
21 (8)
Authentic Power
29 (6)
Emotions
35 (8)
The Earth School
43 (8)
Processing Energy, Part 1
51 (5)
Processing Energy, Part 2
56 (6)
Processing Energy, Part 3
62 (7)
Adding Color
69 (5)
The Scan
74 (5)
Think about It
79 (7)
Connecting the Dots
86 (7)
The Present Moment
93 (6)
Emotions, Power, and the Present Moment
99 (6)
Detachment
105 (7)
Intimacy
112 (13)
PART II: RUNNING AWAY
Soul View
125 (4)
Anger
129 (11)
Workaholism
140 (10)
Pass-through Effect
150 (11)
Perfectionism
161 (10)
Pleasing
171 (11)
Vacating
182 (10)
Boredom
192 (8)
Idol Worship
200 (13)
Impenetrable Optimism
213 (5)
Entitlement
218 (5)
Alcohol and Drugs
223 (5)
Eating
228 (9)
Sex
237 (12)
PART III: COMMON THEMES
Power Struggles
249 (10)
Savior Searching
259 (7)
Judging
266 (8)
Beyond Stress
274 (9)
Diagrams 283 (6)
Afterword 289 (2)
Index 291
by Gary Zukav
I have the audio book of this and the hard cover edition with a dust jacket. Aug 2012 bought another hard cover with a dust jacket, which I then loaned for long term to Avi.
this is a good manual for learning to manage our own emotions
from the library computer:
Table of Contents
Welcome 13 (8)
PART I: FUNDAMENTALS
The New Species
21 (8)
Authentic Power
29 (6)
Emotions
35 (8)
The Earth School
43 (8)
Processing Energy, Part 1
51 (5)
Processing Energy, Part 2
56 (6)
Processing Energy, Part 3
62 (7)
Adding Color
69 (5)
The Scan
74 (5)
Think about It
79 (7)
Connecting the Dots
86 (7)
The Present Moment
93 (6)
Emotions, Power, and the Present Moment
99 (6)
Detachment
105 (7)
Intimacy
112 (13)
PART II: RUNNING AWAY
Soul View
125 (4)
Anger
129 (11)
Workaholism
140 (10)
Pass-through Effect
150 (11)
Perfectionism
161 (10)
Pleasing
171 (11)
Vacating
182 (10)
Boredom
192 (8)
Idol Worship
200 (13)
Impenetrable Optimism
213 (5)
Entitlement
218 (5)
Alcohol and Drugs
223 (5)
Eating
228 (9)
Sex
237 (12)
PART III: COMMON THEMES
Power Struggles
249 (10)
Savior Searching
259 (7)
Judging
266 (8)
Beyond Stress
274 (9)
Diagrams 283 (6)
Afterword 289 (2)
Index 291
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 19, 2015
Reading this book has been an awesome journey into emotional awareness. I loved every single chapter of the book and I could very well relate to most of what has been written.
The way to look at emotions as the author puts it in his book is as a form of energy that has an energy processing system and one of either types of outlets, love and trust or fear and doubt. Unless you attend to each of the negative - as we call it - emotional experience, the energy processing will keep discharging the energy flowing through it in fear and doubt and this is what withholds the healing process.
Of all the chapters, I loved the running away part the most. It explained every negative emotion and what kind of pain that lies beneath it. Moreover, it provided exercises at the end of each one of these negative emotions in order for the reader to identify with them and thus heal them. I certainly would highly recommend this book as I found it to be a precious potential for a possible life changing experience. I'm also contemplating the idea of reading it all over again in future for more emotional awareness.
The way to look at emotions as the author puts it in his book is as a form of energy that has an energy processing system and one of either types of outlets, love and trust or fear and doubt. Unless you attend to each of the negative - as we call it - emotional experience, the energy processing will keep discharging the energy flowing through it in fear and doubt and this is what withholds the healing process.
Of all the chapters, I loved the running away part the most. It explained every negative emotion and what kind of pain that lies beneath it. Moreover, it provided exercises at the end of each one of these negative emotions in order for the reader to identify with them and thus heal them. I certainly would highly recommend this book as I found it to be a precious potential for a possible life changing experience. I'm also contemplating the idea of reading it all over again in future for more emotional awareness.
March 1, 2013
Emotional awareness in the presence of emotional pain can be transformational.
This book details the many ways we indulge or keep busy as a means to escape our true feelings about ourselves, our lives, and others.
I particularly found the authors' way of explaining a "pleaser" and the "resentment" that will always follow to be quite interesting... As well as the pattern our emotional "triggers" and "reactions" play - and how these triggers exist within us due to instilled beliefs, conditioning, and past hurtful experiences.
Gary and Linda emphasize how our emotions are messages from our soul that should be acknowledged and treasured, not ignored. Our bodies possess a very intelligent energy system that will never fail us - illness and pain alert us to fear, as well-being conveys a loving, peaceful state.
Knowing what track we are on is the first step toward choice and healing on the road to love.
This book details the many ways we indulge or keep busy as a means to escape our true feelings about ourselves, our lives, and others.
I particularly found the authors' way of explaining a "pleaser" and the "resentment" that will always follow to be quite interesting... As well as the pattern our emotional "triggers" and "reactions" play - and how these triggers exist within us due to instilled beliefs, conditioning, and past hurtful experiences.
Gary and Linda emphasize how our emotions are messages from our soul that should be acknowledged and treasured, not ignored. Our bodies possess a very intelligent energy system that will never fail us - illness and pain alert us to fear, as well-being conveys a loving, peaceful state.
Knowing what track we are on is the first step toward choice and healing on the road to love.
March 1, 2011
This book is an excellent introduction to anyone wanting to grow in self-awareness and spirituality. It sets the foundation for being present to ones feelings, allowing for emotional clearing.
It's a good book that helps move to the heart (feeling center) those who are lost in their heads, avoiding feeling.
If you like this book, agree with the premise and want to work on emotional clearing on your own, I highly recommend the work of John Ruskan, both his book Emotional Clearing and his 12 CD practice session at www.emclear.com.
It's a good book that helps move to the heart (feeling center) those who are lost in their heads, avoiding feeling.
If you like this book, agree with the premise and want to work on emotional clearing on your own, I highly recommend the work of John Ruskan, both his book Emotional Clearing and his 12 CD practice session at www.emclear.com.
March 18, 2011
With each book it seems Gary Zukav becomes more tedious, as he states the obvious, over and over again. We need to trust Inner Wisdom, not the pull of the world outside. We need to pay attention to our physical pains, for they point the way to inner pain and conflict, which, when resolved, will also dissolve the physical pain. We can do this through meditation and visualization -- etc., etc., etc. Nothing that hasn't been said before, and better. I couldn't wait to get through this boring book.
August 18, 2014
Okay, this book is tricky to evaluate. I don't think it's very well written. Like others who have commented here, I feel that Zukav stated and re-stated his concepts overmuch. However, I do think he makes a few really good points that are worth considering. Some have said that he basically uses the ideas from Seat of the Soul to create another book. I haven't read Seat of the Soul yet, but will take a look at it.
March 7, 2012
For some reason I wasn't that wrapped in this book. It has a lot of good things to say, and much can be learnt about avoidance of emotions. However, I felt the authors showed little comprehension of food addiction. I also felt that some of it was repetitive and the overemphasis on loosing energy was wearing me down a bit at the end.
Want to read
October 3, 2012I think I may revisit this one. I thought that I would really like it. But for some reason, it is seeming very "cheesy". This seems to focus too much on feelings and emotions (to the point of boredom). I feel like I'm in a Therapy session. It seems redundant and annoying. I want to give it a fair review, so I want to try to finish it in the near future.
July 8, 2011
Excellent read to understand the anatomy of emotions. It equips one with ways to mitigate the effects of one's emotions so that we do not have to suppress or deny them but instead allow them to play out.
This in turn reduces stress and grief in life...
This in turn reduces stress and grief in life...
July 11, 2011
Good points but long-winded, redundant, and disorganized. could have been summarized in sentences instead of chapters. I dis not like that I had to mine through the chapter's to fins the instruction and explanation that should have been provided at the beginning with the introduction.
May 14, 2015
Gary Zukav has an exceptional authorship skill to explain the ancient wisdom of Life in the simplest words. Reverence to his honesty and no-bush-beating writing. Anyone who reads this will definitely benefit most.
Read
February 21, 2016I liked Gary Zukav's books that he wrote by himself. It seemed this was overly analytical for a matter of the heart. It is hard for two different perspectives to agree on one method of observation. His own books were more heartfelt. He kind of lost me on this one.
January 31, 2008
Emotional awareness is the key to understanding why we are faced with the feelings that we don't understand in situations that shouldn't make us upset.
March 17, 2008
Wonderful. If you are looking for more to life than money and power. This is a book that speaks to your soul and how to re-examine how your living.
July 17, 2008
While offensive to some traditionalists, Zuvav's Seat of the Soul (five stars) changed my way of looking at things. I also enjoyed this book.
January 18, 2011
Brilliant work. If you want to free yourself from compulsions, fixations, obsessions and addictions, this book is hitting the spots!
Read
January 10, 2013My first of Gary Zukav's books. I am a very infrequent reader, so glad I made it through. I now just finished 'Mind of the Soul'I am moving in the right direction
September 1, 2013
Same thing over and over in each of his books... However nice words -just read the seat of the soul and be done with it!
November 6, 2025
** spoiler alert ** I was unsure whether to give this book 3 or 4 stars. Because of the great wisdom that many of the chapters contain, I think a 4 is justified.
I will start with the positives…
The ‘Part 2’ section is exceptional. It categorises common coping mechanisms and character defects, designed to escape the present moment and avoid our emotions; perfectionism, workaholism and boredom are to name a few. This section allowed me to identify my own personal defects, and better understand HOW I have used them to avoid feeling my emotions. As such, I found this a therapeutic experience. By understanding how my perfectionism contributes to a self-perception of low self-worth, I am better prepared to heal this part of myself.
Also, this book taught me the difference between “emotional awareness” and “emotional involvement”, which I am thankful for.
The biggest drawbacks of the book, are the reductionist, often laughable, perspectives that the authors take. For example…
When discussing ‘Judgement’, the author states:
“If you did not possess the characteristics you distain so, you would have no emotional reaction to them” - that is fundamentally untrue.
Similarly, “Your painful emotions tell you what needs to be changed in you, not in other people” - Not necessarily. What if I do something nice for someone, they call me a c*nt, and that makes me feel disappointed and upset? You’re telling me that’s symbolic of a need for change in ME?!
This book implies that if you resolve all of your inner pain, then you will never again be angry, upset or judge someone. It is too reductionist in its assumptions and hence, should be taken with a pinch of salt in this regard.
However, in summary, this book has had a positive impact on me. Despite the reductive assumptions it makes, it turns the reader inwards. It makes the reader aware of the necessity to be present with and feel your emotions. It guides the reader towards a developed understanding of emotional awareness, distinct from emotional involvement, emotional detachment, emotional escapism and emotional resistance. I would recommend to anyone wanting to become more aware of their inner dynamics at the heart of their intentions.
I will start with the positives…
The ‘Part 2’ section is exceptional. It categorises common coping mechanisms and character defects, designed to escape the present moment and avoid our emotions; perfectionism, workaholism and boredom are to name a few. This section allowed me to identify my own personal defects, and better understand HOW I have used them to avoid feeling my emotions. As such, I found this a therapeutic experience. By understanding how my perfectionism contributes to a self-perception of low self-worth, I am better prepared to heal this part of myself.
Also, this book taught me the difference between “emotional awareness” and “emotional involvement”, which I am thankful for.
The biggest drawbacks of the book, are the reductionist, often laughable, perspectives that the authors take. For example…
When discussing ‘Judgement’, the author states:
“If you did not possess the characteristics you distain so, you would have no emotional reaction to them” - that is fundamentally untrue.
Similarly, “Your painful emotions tell you what needs to be changed in you, not in other people” - Not necessarily. What if I do something nice for someone, they call me a c*nt, and that makes me feel disappointed and upset? You’re telling me that’s symbolic of a need for change in ME?!
This book implies that if you resolve all of your inner pain, then you will never again be angry, upset or judge someone. It is too reductionist in its assumptions and hence, should be taken with a pinch of salt in this regard.
However, in summary, this book has had a positive impact on me. Despite the reductive assumptions it makes, it turns the reader inwards. It makes the reader aware of the necessity to be present with and feel your emotions. It guides the reader towards a developed understanding of emotional awareness, distinct from emotional involvement, emotional detachment, emotional escapism and emotional resistance. I would recommend to anyone wanting to become more aware of their inner dynamics at the heart of their intentions.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 1, 2025
I thought the first ~ 100 pages were helpful and valuable, and found the remainder of the book less useful, but everyone has their own issues so ymmv.
Best thing about this book: it does increase your mindfulness of the complexity of feelings and sensations held in your body, which develops more self-awareness and ultimately more detachment, "adultness" and emotional maturity.
I agree with other reviewers that the book's messaging is repetitive... I think this is because it's like a book-course/therapy tool, and repetition is key in teaching. Beyond the first 100 pages... I feel like a lot of the content has been said elsewhere in more definitive ways; Nathaniel Branden's work on self-esteem and easily-actionable sentence stem completion therapy is probably more direct and effective than the exercises in this book. Also - not one mention of the word "shadow" and yet at its core, all of the feelings that we cover up or avoid are in fact shadow aspects/parts. It was weird to me that was completely unacknowledged.
Lastly - there are some core statements that I just can't agree with in the book. Example: "All painful emotions are expressions of fear." Really? What about when you are frustrated or disappointed when someone isn't living up to their potential? I don't think that's fear at all; it's (for me) sadness and well-wishing that they change things. It's definitely not fear, even at its core; or doubt. Anyway... I like Gary's work; it was worth reading.
Best thing about this book: it does increase your mindfulness of the complexity of feelings and sensations held in your body, which develops more self-awareness and ultimately more detachment, "adultness" and emotional maturity.
I agree with other reviewers that the book's messaging is repetitive... I think this is because it's like a book-course/therapy tool, and repetition is key in teaching. Beyond the first 100 pages... I feel like a lot of the content has been said elsewhere in more definitive ways; Nathaniel Branden's work on self-esteem and easily-actionable sentence stem completion therapy is probably more direct and effective than the exercises in this book. Also - not one mention of the word "shadow" and yet at its core, all of the feelings that we cover up or avoid are in fact shadow aspects/parts. It was weird to me that was completely unacknowledged.
Lastly - there are some core statements that I just can't agree with in the book. Example: "All painful emotions are expressions of fear." Really? What about when you are frustrated or disappointed when someone isn't living up to their potential? I don't think that's fear at all; it's (for me) sadness and well-wishing that they change things. It's definitely not fear, even at its core; or doubt. Anyway... I like Gary's work; it was worth reading.
January 12, 2020
I love this book for the clarity of calling out the energy of emotions - how they affect us physically (chakra time!), how our emotions manifest in relationships, and in the world. Even if you are mostly an emotionally healthy person, this book offers concepts and tools to navigate yourself and others, with the hope of unlocking more compassion for all (at least that’s my take away!). I also like that the authors point out this book won’t make you emotionally aware - only you can do that, only you can do the work. It’s a bit heavy-handed on the metaphors at points. And as with any “self improvement” book, the reader will need to be discerning about what serves them or not (and realize these authors overdramatize/simplify occasionally to make the necessary points). But ultimately, a great exploration of emotions and going inside for answers. I may even buy this one and keep it around for reference (which is saying a lot given I’m a library-only type reader).
July 12, 2025
I am a huge fan of Zukav and Linda’s books and this was no exception. It was an eye opening book. I didn’t expect the journey to authentic emotional power quite simple and yet not an easy feat. I wrote down a whole of quotes from book and will definitely order my own copy to re-read.
Creating authentic power is to look inwards, and to be emotionally aware and being present. Any diversion from attention away from the pain we feel is going to take us away from feeling love and trust and aligning with our soul.
This book also reminded me of Brene Brown’s book “The Atlas of the heart”. And Heart of the soul was yet another level for the spiritual journey.
Sharing some quotes:
“Anger is the agony of believing that you are not capable of being understood, and that you are not worthy of being understood.”
“The impulse to please other people is a powerful dynamic that is generated by fear of loss.”
Creating authentic power is to look inwards, and to be emotionally aware and being present. Any diversion from attention away from the pain we feel is going to take us away from feeling love and trust and aligning with our soul.
This book also reminded me of Brene Brown’s book “The Atlas of the heart”. And Heart of the soul was yet another level for the spiritual journey.
Sharing some quotes:
“Anger is the agony of believing that you are not capable of being understood, and that you are not worthy of being understood.”
“The impulse to please other people is a powerful dynamic that is generated by fear of loss.”
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