Third and Heaven

by Ben Patrick Johnson

“Covers all the basic food groups that nourish sex, power, dreams, and deception. What a great read.” —Steve Kmetko on In and Out in Hollywood It used to be trendy; now it’s just comfortable. And it’s the perfect spot to recover from Saturday night while preparing for Monday morning. Each Sunday, Third and Heaven, a little diner in West Hollywood, California, plays host to four friends who over breakfast counsel, console, encourage, mock, outrage and otherwise make each of their lives worth living. Freddy is an entertainment-show host who is dating a Broadway star with a crystal meth addiction. Claire is a twice-divorced osteopath who is compulsively amorous with men she meets in the supermarket. Ritchie is a personal trainer who dreams of being an actor and struggles to reconcile with his Sicilian family. And Joshua, as a publicist to has-beens and nobodies, attempts to spin press mentions out of thin air. Over the course of a year, their friendship remains the one constant as porn stars are dated, Thanksgiving dinners are ruined, stalkers are served restraining orders, exes are spied on, gowns are assembled in late-night sewing bees, apartments are painted and bail is posted. No matter what happens, each of them knows the other three will be there, waiting to dish in the corner booth at Third and Heaven. Ben Patrick Johnson is one of the top voice-over actors in Hollywood. His is the signature announcer voice of Entertainment Tonight , Judge Joe Brown and Fox Sports’ You Gotta See This! His voice has been heard in hundreds of trailers for films such as X-Men , Anger Management , The Pianist , City of God and many others. He is the author of In and Out in Hollywood and lives in Los Angeles.

Genres: Fiction, LGBT, Gay Fiction

291 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Ben Patrick Johnson began writing at the age of five. His first essays were printed on a mimeograph machine in a church basement in St. Paul, MN and performed for his parents and whichever neighbor children he could get to sit still and listen for a few minutes. Johnson went on to pursue a career in media (after barely finishing high school) and fooled enough people in the business that, at 22, he was named Director of Production for ABC Talkradio in Los Angeles. In 1994, a difficult year as a correspondent for the TV show EXTRA cured him of any further ambitions in entertainment journalism.

Following EXTRA, Johnson self-soothed by eating lots of sheet cake late at night, sometimes in supermarket parking lots. He became a full time voice-over actor and started writing more seriously. Today, he has five novels to his credit and is the leading trailer and promo voice in Hollywood. Concurrently, Johnson has emerged as a noted social media LGBT and Human Rights activist with 300,000 followers on Twitter and Facebook. He lives with his husband Mariano and arguably too many pets on a hillside overlooking Los Angeles.

Reviews

[J9 · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this hard to relate to. The bodies of some of these characters reminded me a bit of a Barbie Girl/plastic-y image. Almost every man has tanned skin, a buff figure, a hard-set jawline, and the one lacking in these qualities is Justin, who's described as "frail."

Literally every food scene has something to do with low-carb/low-calorie/no sugar meals/snacks. The characters keep food logs, practically live at the gym, & feel guilty over the slightest cookie craving. Maybe for one who is heavily bent on a strict diet & plenty of exercise, this is completely normal, and that's fine, but it became a little irritating after a while.

BPJ stated that the relationship of Freddy and Justin is based on an actual [failed] relationship he had with Broadway star Jason Raize (known in the book as Justin). This next reason is *reallyyy* just my personal feelings, but it irked me that this was published in 2005, the year after Raize committed suicide. In the book, Justin (Raize) is ultimately recognized as the lost soul, another victim to drugs who is making Freddy's life so complicated that his backside is eventually sent back to New York. Justin is first illustrated as an artist, which is nice, then a loon, then a pain in the ass and a child. Because BPJ admitted to their story [generally] representing his real relationship, you can't edit his honesty...but maybe, then, he shouldn't have publicized something as personal and upsetting as his dead ex's dysfunctions/breakdowns. It is just uncomfortable to read about one side of a crumbling relationship while the ex-partner is dead and unable to defend himself. I wonder what would have become of this book had Raize not died.

And, yes, I ran across quite a number of spelling/grammar errors. I definitely love BPJ as an LGBT rights activist, more power to him, but unfortunately, as an author of this particular book, I wasn't totally happy. I'm considering reading If the Rains Don't Cleanse, people have told me that was better...

[Karina Brea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ehhh… this book could’ve started in the middle and made the ending make more sense. The second half of the book carried all of the substance, which made the ending resolutions way too rushed, and the first half too long of an introduction. I did enjoy the way it was written, the point of view shifts mid-chapter and it’s a nice change of pace. The stories were cool and I still enjoyed it, but it was too haphazard.

[Rory · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't like anything about this book--the characters or the setting or even the prose. I found them shallow and unfeeling and not even truly friends. Even the wit and romance isn't enough to keep me in the story. Such a disappointment.

[Amber · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn't get into it. I stopped reading after the 3rd chapter.