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Pining & Loving
Pining and loving. Which one carries the highest cost? And what price is worth paying?
The quiet, tough Aya Lawson has been forced to leave her career as a professional boxer behind and now scrambles for a purpose.
Gwen Davies is a chatty barista, and artist in her free time, who lives with clinical depression.
They both have battles to fight but they also have something else in common - pining over the woman of their dreams.
When daydreams one day meet reality, things get complicated. Is it best to stay with what’s safe? Or to fall and maybe break? If they do take the chance and break, who will get back up?
The quiet, tough Aya Lawson has been forced to leave her career as a professional boxer behind and now scrambles for a purpose.
Gwen Davies is a chatty barista, and artist in her free time, who lives with clinical depression.
They both have battles to fight but they also have something else in common - pining over the woman of their dreams.
When daydreams one day meet reality, things get complicated. Is it best to stay with what’s safe? Or to fall and maybe break? If they do take the chance and break, who will get back up?
299 pages, ebook
First published October 18, 2019
47 people are currently reading
98 people want to read
About the author
Emma Sterner-Radley
28 books170 followersEmma Sterner-Radley spent far too much time hopping from subject to subject at university, back in her native country of Sweden. One day, she finally emerged with a degree in Library and Information Science. She thought libraries was her thing, because she wanted to work with books, and being an author was just an impossible dream, right? Wrong. She's now a writer and a publisher. (But still a librarian at heart, too.)
She lives with her wife and two cats in England. There is no point in saying which city, as they move about once a year. She spends her free time writing, reading, daydreaming, working out, and watching whichever television show has the most lesbian subtext at the time.
Her tastes in most things usually lean towards the quirky and she loves genres like urban fantasy, magic realism, and steampunk.
Emma is also a hopeless sap for any small chubby creature with tiny legs, and can often be found making heart-eyes at things like guinea pigs, wombats, marmots, and human toddlers.
She lives with her wife and two cats in England. There is no point in saying which city, as they move about once a year. She spends her free time writing, reading, daydreaming, working out, and watching whichever television show has the most lesbian subtext at the time.
Her tastes in most things usually lean towards the quirky and she loves genres like urban fantasy, magic realism, and steampunk.
Emma is also a hopeless sap for any small chubby creature with tiny legs, and can often be found making heart-eyes at things like guinea pigs, wombats, marmots, and human toddlers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
November 19, 2020
I wanted to read this because there were so many good reviews and I think I saw it some sort of must-read list. But I have to say that it was just OK for me. I couldn't ever really connect with the characters. I suffer from depression. Not nearly as debilitating as the main character in this story. But since my experience didn't match hers, it felt a bit overwrought to me. I never would have had the patience or empathy to deal with any of that.
December 29, 2019
I read half of this book, left it for a time and then came back to it because I don't think I was in the right headspace for it initially. It was a show of real bravery for Emma Sterner-Radley to write this and expose what living with clinical depression is like. That is certainly unique in the lesfic genre. I appreciate the insight and perspective she provides in this work. As far as the romance part of the story goes, that was also quite different and the path was an unusual one. Good for Emma for putting this out into the world - I admire her for doing so.
October 19, 2019
Have I ever mentioned how much I adore stories that portray the good, the bad and the downright quirky qualities in the characters? Well then, I must come clean and declare my love for this story because it has ticked all the right boxes for me because I've got a whole lot of love for Aya and Gwen! This author has done an outstanding job of portraying these awesome women in all their flawed glory. I am also going to tip my hat to this author because she has touched me deeply with the way she has accurately portrayed the inner world of someone who is living with depression. I don't think I'll ever forget this story or these endearing women any time soon and I sincerely hope that there will be another story with Aya, Gwen and the adorable fur baby named Meatloaf, in it!
February 12, 2023
Aya is a former boxer who had to give up on her dreams due to an injury. She meets Gwen, a barista, during a road trip. The twist - both of them have a crush on the same person. Aya and Gwen were polar opposites and it was fun to read about their dynamics and growth throughout the story.
My favourite part? The characters were flawed. No person is perfect and neither should be book characters. It's how people overcome their flaws and shape their lives that intrigues me. As a person who has struggled with depression her entire life, I am really glad with the representation. Add anxiety to it and it's a deadly cocktail. The former is portrayed very accurately. I am glad there is not just non-fiction to spread awareness about mental illnesses but also good fiction stories.
Romance is my favourite genre and I was as excited to read this book as any other but it is the realistic portrayal of mental health issues, especially while forming and sustaining a new relationship, that really touched my heart.
Oh, and I love Meatloaf.
Definitely recommended.
My favourite part? The characters were flawed. No person is perfect and neither should be book characters. It's how people overcome their flaws and shape their lives that intrigues me. As a person who has struggled with depression her entire life, I am really glad with the representation. Add anxiety to it and it's a deadly cocktail. The former is portrayed very accurately. I am glad there is not just non-fiction to spread awareness about mental illnesses but also good fiction stories.
Romance is my favourite genre and I was as excited to read this book as any other but it is the realistic portrayal of mental health issues, especially while forming and sustaining a new relationship, that really touched my heart.
Oh, and I love Meatloaf.
Definitely recommended.
October 26, 2019
AMAZING!
Aya was a boxer who was injured and had to give it up. She is quiet and thinks of herself as awkward and odd, unable to relate normally. This is only reinforced by her inability to find a job or a girl. However, there is a woman who interests her… Gwen is outgoing and chatty. She’s an artist, both with coffee and paper. There is a woman who has her attention though she has never really spoken to her. Aya and Gwen have one thing in common, they want the same woman….
This is an amazing story. Not just because of the relationships and romance but because Gwen has severe debilitating clinical depression cycles. Ms Sterner-Radley has done an incredible job with this story. Her descriptions are so spot on, so in depth, so well described and easy to understand… I’ve never heard some of the ways she states the disability but they are real and true to life…. I loved how Gwen and her behaviour taught Aya more than what most people presume to know. People CAN be chipper on the outside while dying on the inside and no two people will necessarily experience the same things. Its eye opening and such an awesome thing that there is such a well-researched and detailed romance novel that deals with this situation! I loved the compassion that Aya has for Gwen. The things Aya does for her friend to let her know she isn’t alone and there is nothing to be ashamed of are beautiful and wondrous. I love how the romance develops organically, its sweet, tender, gentle and grows from a place of deep care and respect. They are so supportive of each other, each being what and who the other needs, being strong for each other even when they can’t be strong for themselves. This is just a lovely, lovely tale and I am so very grateful for it!!!
Aya was a boxer who was injured and had to give it up. She is quiet and thinks of herself as awkward and odd, unable to relate normally. This is only reinforced by her inability to find a job or a girl. However, there is a woman who interests her… Gwen is outgoing and chatty. She’s an artist, both with coffee and paper. There is a woman who has her attention though she has never really spoken to her. Aya and Gwen have one thing in common, they want the same woman….
This is an amazing story. Not just because of the relationships and romance but because Gwen has severe debilitating clinical depression cycles. Ms Sterner-Radley has done an incredible job with this story. Her descriptions are so spot on, so in depth, so well described and easy to understand… I’ve never heard some of the ways she states the disability but they are real and true to life…. I loved how Gwen and her behaviour taught Aya more than what most people presume to know. People CAN be chipper on the outside while dying on the inside and no two people will necessarily experience the same things. Its eye opening and such an awesome thing that there is such a well-researched and detailed romance novel that deals with this situation! I loved the compassion that Aya has for Gwen. The things Aya does for her friend to let her know she isn’t alone and there is nothing to be ashamed of are beautiful and wondrous. I love how the romance develops organically, its sweet, tender, gentle and grows from a place of deep care and respect. They are so supportive of each other, each being what and who the other needs, being strong for each other even when they can’t be strong for themselves. This is just a lovely, lovely tale and I am so very grateful for it!!!
November 10, 2019
Aya is a Professional Boxer who had to give up her career through an injury and is looking for work. Gwen is a Barista and also an artist who lives with Clinical Depression.
For me this was just an ok read. I liked both Gwen and Aya as characters but I didn't feel there was any chemistry between them. To me it felt like they were really good friends and nothing more. The secondary characters were good (with the exception of Susannah) and the pace was about right.
The book wasn't really for me but is still worth giving it a read.
For me this was just an ok read. I liked both Gwen and Aya as characters but I didn't feel there was any chemistry between them. To me it felt like they were really good friends and nothing more. The secondary characters were good (with the exception of Susannah) and the pace was about right.
The book wasn't really for me but is still worth giving it a read.
November 23, 2025
Slow burn, long lasting
Former boxer, Aya, develops a crush on a woman at the gym, while seriously depressed Gwen pines for a regular customer at the coffee shop she works in. One day, seeing Gwen in distress, Aya offers her a lift, and a friendship begins.
To describe this as simply a Sapphic romance, is to miss the importance of friendship, acceptance and understanding, and to overlook the painful descriptions of crippling depression.
Mainly very well-written, there are a few times early on when I found the dialogue - and this book is mostly conversation - clumsy and challenging to read, but I persevered and ultimately found it an enjoyable read.
Former boxer, Aya, develops a crush on a woman at the gym, while seriously depressed Gwen pines for a regular customer at the coffee shop she works in. One day, seeing Gwen in distress, Aya offers her a lift, and a friendship begins.
To describe this as simply a Sapphic romance, is to miss the importance of friendship, acceptance and understanding, and to overlook the painful descriptions of crippling depression.
Mainly very well-written, there are a few times early on when I found the dialogue - and this book is mostly conversation - clumsy and challenging to read, but I persevered and ultimately found it an enjoyable read.
November 28, 2020
Deep read, on Kindle Unlimited.
I liked the way that the author Emma Sterner-Radley handled the topic of clinical depression. We really get a good insight into it from the character with Gwen's inner monologue, and also her own words in talking about it, which she never felt ashamed of and I loved that. It never felt entirely hopeless. Gwen just keeps on, keeping on yknow? Even when she's in the midst of a bad downward spiral. I appreciated that. I also appreciated that she was a character actively engaged in her own mental health, taking medication and doing regular therapy sessions with her psych, again choosing honesty in explaining herself and what she needed from her friends.
The character of Aya is equally relatable in that she's socially awkward, often says the wrong things and is a bit of a closed off loner without direction in life, although she is an optimist. But she doesn't judge Gwen, either. Although she does fumble with saying the usual cliches at times, but genuinely cares and knows when she's put her foot in it. She doesn't seem to have much confidence or faith in herself or her abilities.
I found myself relating to both characters easily. The storyline was different than expected. Basically both women are attracted from a distance, to a third party on their periphery, an older confident, well put together woman called Susannah who they both are kind of pining after for various reasons, putting her up on a pedestal doing the 'always greener' thing because each woman has issues of their own, and are placing a high value on their interactions with a virtual stranger who would appear on the outside to be the epitome of success.
For Aya it's a goal to be able to talk with her without making a mess of it like she usually does, and hoping for something more. For Gwen she sees her as a bright spot in her otherwise dull days, and something that helps keep her going, giving her something to look forward to etc, and she also wonders if something more could come from their interactions.
Both women find themselves basically stalking the third woman and bonding over their crush for her and also their own insecurities and foibles. We soon realize Susannah isn't a good person, at all.
We see how easily all of us can make something out to be more than it really is, and try to excuse red flags. Also, how we can allow ourselves, our beliefs and confidences to be compromised, because we are desperate for connection. How easy it can be to pin everything on someone, and the wrong someone and end up being used and how that can really wreck your confidence and emotions.
The vulnerabilities each character showed was heartening and I loved their honesty and communication. I also loved that Gwen, even in her deepest depth of depression still kept on going and doing what she could. As did Aya, in her support and determination to be there for her friend. I loved the honesty and positivity the story brought, despite the tough subject matter.
These friends slowly become more, it's very much a slow burn and I was swooning for it.
A book with great depth and emotion, and people who actually communicate and care about each other, and who keep trying to be better despite knowing they aren't perfect and will mess up, but are willing to keep trying and moving forward to be better each day. A great message.
I liked the way that the author Emma Sterner-Radley handled the topic of clinical depression. We really get a good insight into it from the character with Gwen's inner monologue, and also her own words in talking about it, which she never felt ashamed of and I loved that. It never felt entirely hopeless. Gwen just keeps on, keeping on yknow? Even when she's in the midst of a bad downward spiral. I appreciated that. I also appreciated that she was a character actively engaged in her own mental health, taking medication and doing regular therapy sessions with her psych, again choosing honesty in explaining herself and what she needed from her friends.
The character of Aya is equally relatable in that she's socially awkward, often says the wrong things and is a bit of a closed off loner without direction in life, although she is an optimist. But she doesn't judge Gwen, either. Although she does fumble with saying the usual cliches at times, but genuinely cares and knows when she's put her foot in it. She doesn't seem to have much confidence or faith in herself or her abilities.
I found myself relating to both characters easily. The storyline was different than expected. Basically both women are attracted from a distance, to a third party on their periphery, an older confident, well put together woman called Susannah who they both are kind of pining after for various reasons, putting her up on a pedestal doing the 'always greener' thing because each woman has issues of their own, and are placing a high value on their interactions with a virtual stranger who would appear on the outside to be the epitome of success.
For Aya it's a goal to be able to talk with her without making a mess of it like she usually does, and hoping for something more. For Gwen she sees her as a bright spot in her otherwise dull days, and something that helps keep her going, giving her something to look forward to etc, and she also wonders if something more could come from their interactions.
Both women find themselves basically stalking the third woman and bonding over their crush for her and also their own insecurities and foibles. We soon realize Susannah isn't a good person, at all.
We see how easily all of us can make something out to be more than it really is, and try to excuse red flags. Also, how we can allow ourselves, our beliefs and confidences to be compromised, because we are desperate for connection. How easy it can be to pin everything on someone, and the wrong someone and end up being used and how that can really wreck your confidence and emotions.
The vulnerabilities each character showed was heartening and I loved their honesty and communication. I also loved that Gwen, even in her deepest depth of depression still kept on going and doing what she could. As did Aya, in her support and determination to be there for her friend. I loved the honesty and positivity the story brought, despite the tough subject matter.
These friends slowly become more, it's very much a slow burn and I was swooning for it.
A book with great depth and emotion, and people who actually communicate and care about each other, and who keep trying to be better despite knowing they aren't perfect and will mess up, but are willing to keep trying and moving forward to be better each day. A great message.
January 6, 2020
Very moving
I really found this story to be more than a romance. It really taught me a lot about someone dealing with a mental illness. The main characters are so supportive of each other. Having someone you can count on no matter what is so important. This was so well written with love and understanding.
I really found this story to be more than a romance. It really taught me a lot about someone dealing with a mental illness. The main characters are so supportive of each other. Having someone you can count on no matter what is so important. This was so well written with love and understanding.
July 16, 2023
I'm so glad this wasn't a romance about the first love interest the two MCs bond over. I really enjoyed seeing Gwen and Aya become friends and as their connection deepened, it became something new. This was really sweet and I loved how these two cared for each other.
Rep: white British cis lesbian female MC with depression, Asian-British cis lesbian female MC, white British trans female side character, white British queer cis female side character.
CWs: Mental illness (depression), sexual content, mentions of racism.
Rep: white British cis lesbian female MC with depression, Asian-British cis lesbian female MC, white British trans female side character, white British queer cis female side character.
CWs: Mental illness (depression), sexual content, mentions of racism.
October 24, 2019
There was a lot I liked about this book: the romance isn't insta-love but more of a friends-to-lovers situation, there's a lot of humor (should I say humour?), there are family issues at play for one of the characters, one character deals with clinical depression, AND one of the MCs is a non-white woman!
I'm a fan of Sterner-Radley's romances because her characters usually have fun-loving sides but are all flawed in some way. Her writing style and sense of humor make it so easy to get into the stories and begin to cheer for the characters right away. And she's guaranteed to have interesting secondary folks in the mix, too.
This one starts off with the first character we meet pining away for a hot older woman, then introduces another character pining for the same woman, but for very different reasons. I thought that was interesting but what really got me hooked on this book is Gwen's depression. As someone who suffers with depression and anxiety, so much of her experiences rang true to me. I had to stop reading a few times so I could really think about a description the author used because I never put words to it before. It was validating in a way.
I'm so glad I got a chance to experience the beginning of Gwen and Aya's relationship.
I'm a fan of Sterner-Radley's romances because her characters usually have fun-loving sides but are all flawed in some way. Her writing style and sense of humor make it so easy to get into the stories and begin to cheer for the characters right away. And she's guaranteed to have interesting secondary folks in the mix, too.
This one starts off with the first character we meet pining away for a hot older woman, then introduces another character pining for the same woman, but for very different reasons. I thought that was interesting but what really got me hooked on this book is Gwen's depression. As someone who suffers with depression and anxiety, so much of her experiences rang true to me. I had to stop reading a few times so I could really think about a description the author used because I never put words to it before. It was validating in a way.
I'm so glad I got a chance to experience the beginning of Gwen and Aya's relationship.
November 27, 2019
I've not been disappointed by anything written by this author. This book had a depth that was sometimes overwhelming. Depression, loss of confidence, and life's own disappointments are all in this book. Artfully written and easily understood. The debilitating anxiety in not being able to talk with someone or getting lost in the trying to speak, brought tears to my eyes at times. Moving through a depression that's linked to a chemically imbalanced brain. Wow. The description of these two women's lives was gut-wrenching at times as well as humorous. The dialogue moved the scenes. As always I want to visit the British Isles to witness some of the places written here in this story. Well done Mrs Sterner-Radley. Well done indeed.
November 5, 2019
Great Story!
I enjoyed this story and the characters of Aya and Gwen. The instant chemistry between them was fun to read as they didn’t notice it themselves. Sometimes a common bond is the best pull to bring two people together. I enjoyed learning the aspects of mental illness and anxiety which was cleverly weaved in this story. It opened my eyes and I found an understanding that will stay with me. I realized with the personal aspect of mental illness with the writer that there is hope more people will walk away with a better understanding. Once again a good one from Emma.
I enjoyed this story and the characters of Aya and Gwen. The instant chemistry between them was fun to read as they didn’t notice it themselves. Sometimes a common bond is the best pull to bring two people together. I enjoyed learning the aspects of mental illness and anxiety which was cleverly weaved in this story. It opened my eyes and I found an understanding that will stay with me. I realized with the personal aspect of mental illness with the writer that there is hope more people will walk away with a better understanding. Once again a good one from Emma.
October 27, 2019
I loved this
When I saw some online buzz for this romance in which one character suffers from depression and the other from severe social anxiety I had to read it, since I live with both conditions.
Gwen and Aya are sweet and relatable and even knowing where this story was almost certainly going to end up, I was rooting for them from the start. Very recommended.
When I saw some online buzz for this romance in which one character suffers from depression and the other from severe social anxiety I had to read it, since I live with both conditions.
Gwen and Aya are sweet and relatable and even knowing where this story was almost certainly going to end up, I was rooting for them from the start. Very recommended.
December 4, 2019
Emotional, touching, and so relatable.
Aya a tough ex-boxer with a sensitive side, and barista, Gwen strike up an unlikely friendship during a road trip to Chester. They learn they have more in common than they thought, even with the unplanned trip together, and even the same crush. When things in Chester get tough, Gwen runs, but Aya stays, yet lessons are to be learned for both. They realise they have quite a special bond and could have a great friendship, and so when things don’t work out for Aya she decides to focus more on the great relationship she has formed with Gwen. Aya becomes a great friend and support to Gwen, who is struggling with depression and anxiety, and while they still have a lot to learn about one another, they seem to be missing the one thing everyone else can see; they’re attraction to one another.
What I loved about this book was how realistic and relatable it was, and it surprised me! Emma took a very sensitive subject and brought us a heartfelt, insightful, meaningful story with so much heart and soul you couldn’t help but feel everything Gwen and Aya did. I also loved how this quite dark, and complicated subject was portrayed into a story that anyone could relate to. It provides representation for anyone suffering from depression and anxiety, no matter what level they find themselves at, and provides an opportunity for anyone who hasn’t experienced it to have a good look into what it feels, and looks like. With a sensitive subject it is always hard to portray and Emma really has done the subject, feelings and thoughts justice. There is a clear message in this story; you are not alone, and it’s not all doom and gloom. Thank you Emma for taking a chance on a subject that means so much, and needs to be more front and centre because it is such a big part of a lot of people’s lives.
This was the most perfect book! I have no complaints.
Aya and Gwen were such different characters, yet they had so much in common. Obviously their shared crush helps them to initially form a connection, but it is their depression and anxiety that really forms their unique friendship. Aya is very gentle and understanding, taking the time to give Gwen the space she needs but also doing all she could to support her. When you find someone like that you hold on to them, they are rare! As much as I loved Gwen because I could really relate to her thoughts, feelings, and actions, it was Aya I was most in awe of. To give Gwen a chance and stay by her side, supporting her through it all was really special.
There are not enough words to describe how AMAZING this story was! My favourite and can’t wait to read it again!
Aya a tough ex-boxer with a sensitive side, and barista, Gwen strike up an unlikely friendship during a road trip to Chester. They learn they have more in common than they thought, even with the unplanned trip together, and even the same crush. When things in Chester get tough, Gwen runs, but Aya stays, yet lessons are to be learned for both. They realise they have quite a special bond and could have a great friendship, and so when things don’t work out for Aya she decides to focus more on the great relationship she has formed with Gwen. Aya becomes a great friend and support to Gwen, who is struggling with depression and anxiety, and while they still have a lot to learn about one another, they seem to be missing the one thing everyone else can see; they’re attraction to one another.
What I loved about this book was how realistic and relatable it was, and it surprised me! Emma took a very sensitive subject and brought us a heartfelt, insightful, meaningful story with so much heart and soul you couldn’t help but feel everything Gwen and Aya did. I also loved how this quite dark, and complicated subject was portrayed into a story that anyone could relate to. It provides representation for anyone suffering from depression and anxiety, no matter what level they find themselves at, and provides an opportunity for anyone who hasn’t experienced it to have a good look into what it feels, and looks like. With a sensitive subject it is always hard to portray and Emma really has done the subject, feelings and thoughts justice. There is a clear message in this story; you are not alone, and it’s not all doom and gloom. Thank you Emma for taking a chance on a subject that means so much, and needs to be more front and centre because it is such a big part of a lot of people’s lives.
This was the most perfect book! I have no complaints.
Aya and Gwen were such different characters, yet they had so much in common. Obviously their shared crush helps them to initially form a connection, but it is their depression and anxiety that really forms their unique friendship. Aya is very gentle and understanding, taking the time to give Gwen the space she needs but also doing all she could to support her. When you find someone like that you hold on to them, they are rare! As much as I loved Gwen because I could really relate to her thoughts, feelings, and actions, it was Aya I was most in awe of. To give Gwen a chance and stay by her side, supporting her through it all was really special.
There are not enough words to describe how AMAZING this story was! My favourite and can’t wait to read it again!
October 20, 2019
Sweet and relatable.
As someone who's dealt with depression all of their adult life, the depiction of depression in this book was absolutely relatable. It wasn't overdramatized or brushed away, but shown very realistically (without being dark or upsetting to the reader). And the romance was so sweet and built up very convincingly as well. I love Aya and Gwen and I loved this story.
As someone who's dealt with depression all of their adult life, the depiction of depression in this book was absolutely relatable. It wasn't overdramatized or brushed away, but shown very realistically (without being dark or upsetting to the reader). And the romance was so sweet and built up very convincingly as well. I love Aya and Gwen and I loved this story.
October 20, 2019
Sweet
Such an amazing book, working on mental health and how Gwen deals daily and how she works through her depression and how little boosts during the day help her. Reading this as a person who deals with depression daily, it is amazingly done, great job Emma!
Such an amazing book, working on mental health and how Gwen deals daily and how she works through her depression and how little boosts during the day help her. Reading this as a person who deals with depression daily, it is amazingly done, great job Emma!
May 12, 2020
A perfect mix of personal growth and romance.
I love Aya and Gwen's journey from strangers that met by chance, to finding love in each other. Personally I can identify more with Ada and her struggle of filling like she's not enough and that she's failing in life, but I could also feel Gwen's inner battle with her depression. Also, I think the character of Susannah can be a warning for all of us to remember to never idealize someone we don't know, because it can be devastating to learn they're not as perfect as we them out to be.
This is a superb, I couldn't recommend it more and the same goes for the author.
I love Aya and Gwen's journey from strangers that met by chance, to finding love in each other. Personally I can identify more with Ada and her struggle of filling like she's not enough and that she's failing in life, but I could also feel Gwen's inner battle with her depression. Also, I think the character of Susannah can be a warning for all of us to remember to never idealize someone we don't know, because it can be devastating to learn they're not as perfect as we them out to be.
This is a superb, I couldn't recommend it more and the same goes for the author.
January 2, 2021
It took me about three pages of reading to realize I was going to end up spending the rest of the day with this book. (So much for my resolution of reading ½ hour a day before work.) The characters, specifically Gwen and Aya are lovingly developed in such realistic (and yes, sometimes painful) ways. That feeling of missing a train and knowing a normal person would just buy a ticket for the next one and maybe get some lunch instead, but being unable to do anything because IT WASN’T THE PLAN and instead ending up in full meltdown mode? Can I say how much I relate to Gwen? Can I also say how much I relate to Aya?
But you don’t have to deal with mental illness to relate - these characters are just so engaging. The burgeoning friendship with brief moments of sexual attraction is so lovely to watch and charming in so many ways. This author deftly gave us glimpses into the growing attraction between Gwen and Aya while still creating a realistic reason (Oh, the blond goddess!) for them to not consider their own relationship.
Still, the loving detail in this book such as the way Gwen self-comforts and the awkwardness of the two MCs being stoically (to the outsider) stuck in their own inner self-flagellation while the other assumes it means something about them makes this book so authentic. I love when characters are so real, when they have weird quirks, when I get insight into the often irrational things they think about themselves. I also love the way the characters can show up for each other even when they can’t advocate for themselves.
I want to make a brief mention of the side characters in this book – brief because I could probably go on for about ten pages listing the things I love about this book, by which point, you’d no longer need to read it because I told you everything about it. Suffice to say I love the side characters; I love that Charlotte is the kind of best friend who’ll cancel dates for a friend in need and offer practical advice when needed and is compassionate and loving without letting her BFF wallow in self-pity.
I found myself alternately laughing, crying, and wincing over this book and even when I kind of wanted to hate Aya for a minute, I couldn’t because she really was just being real. So many things resonated in this book for me from Aya’s assumptions about what she thought she knew about depression to Gwen’s shaming of herself for the way she feels when depressed even as she intellectually knows it isn’t her fault.
This is a great book, and I am happy to recommend it.
But you don’t have to deal with mental illness to relate - these characters are just so engaging. The burgeoning friendship with brief moments of sexual attraction is so lovely to watch and charming in so many ways. This author deftly gave us glimpses into the growing attraction between Gwen and Aya while still creating a realistic reason (Oh, the blond goddess!) for them to not consider their own relationship.
Still, the loving detail in this book such as the way Gwen self-comforts and the awkwardness of the two MCs being stoically (to the outsider) stuck in their own inner self-flagellation while the other assumes it means something about them makes this book so authentic. I love when characters are so real, when they have weird quirks, when I get insight into the often irrational things they think about themselves. I also love the way the characters can show up for each other even when they can’t advocate for themselves.
I want to make a brief mention of the side characters in this book – brief because I could probably go on for about ten pages listing the things I love about this book, by which point, you’d no longer need to read it because I told you everything about it. Suffice to say I love the side characters; I love that Charlotte is the kind of best friend who’ll cancel dates for a friend in need and offer practical advice when needed and is compassionate and loving without letting her BFF wallow in self-pity.
I found myself alternately laughing, crying, and wincing over this book and even when I kind of wanted to hate Aya for a minute, I couldn’t because she really was just being real. So many things resonated in this book for me from Aya’s assumptions about what she thought she knew about depression to Gwen’s shaming of herself for the way she feels when depressed even as she intellectually knows it isn’t her fault.
This is a great book, and I am happy to recommend it.
January 21, 2021
Another awesome book from Emma Sterner-Radley! While this is a romance book it also deals with heavy topics in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. Aya and Gwen are both going through a rough patch and seeing them overcome their problems (even if some of them might never go away completely) and falling in love was so sweet and hopeful. I loved this book and I'll keep reading anything this author writes.
October 20, 2019
Absolutely adored this book!
The characters are great and work perfect with each other. The chemistry between them is there and wonderful. Lots of emotion.
I love the fact the Author went head first into a subject that is considered taboo and not many people want to talk about and did an amazing job portraying and showing how it is to have depression or how it is to have a relationship of any kind with that person
I would definitely recommend this book
The characters are great and work perfect with each other. The chemistry between them is there and wonderful. Lots of emotion.
I love the fact the Author went head first into a subject that is considered taboo and not many people want to talk about and did an amazing job portraying and showing how it is to have depression or how it is to have a relationship of any kind with that person
I would definitely recommend this book
January 6, 2020
Pining & Loving by Emma Sterner-Radley is equally as heart wrenching as it is heartwarming. We’ve all experienced the rush of falling for a beautiful woman who appears to be the perfect person, only to have that image shattered when we finally learn who they really are. This novel captures those emotions so vividly and so well, it was as if Emma herself had gone deep into my mind and pulled out my own experiences to put on paper.
The way Emma writes Gwen’s experiences with depression hit so close to home I felt as if I was Gwen for the entire novel. Being able to so intimately identify with a character in a novel is so rare that when it does happen, I can’t put the book down until I’ve finished it. Pining & Loving was no exception. I started it around 9 this morning and finished it at 10:30 this evening. Absolutely incredible writing. The detail and love put into every word of this book is astounding.
Another thing that really made this book a page turner was how Emma wrote Aya. A 27 year old boxer turned softy for Gwen, who would stop at nothing to see Gwen smile or hear her laugh; the kind of friend everyone with depression not only needs but deserves. It was so invigorating to have a character written who supports and loves their mentally ill friend unconditionally, and not constantly trying to “fix” them.
This novel is one for the ages, lads. Pick it up and read it immediately, I promise you will have no regrets!
The way Emma writes Gwen’s experiences with depression hit so close to home I felt as if I was Gwen for the entire novel. Being able to so intimately identify with a character in a novel is so rare that when it does happen, I can’t put the book down until I’ve finished it. Pining & Loving was no exception. I started it around 9 this morning and finished it at 10:30 this evening. Absolutely incredible writing. The detail and love put into every word of this book is astounding.
Another thing that really made this book a page turner was how Emma wrote Aya. A 27 year old boxer turned softy for Gwen, who would stop at nothing to see Gwen smile or hear her laugh; the kind of friend everyone with depression not only needs but deserves. It was so invigorating to have a character written who supports and loves their mentally ill friend unconditionally, and not constantly trying to “fix” them.
This novel is one for the ages, lads. Pick it up and read it immediately, I promise you will have no regrets!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 30, 2019
I really enjoyed this book. Mostly because I have a spouse who suffered from clinical depression and this book was like reading our story. Although she doesn’t have days as bad as Gwen some days are pretty hard. I thought the characters were funny. I like that there was a levity to this book that contrasted with the sadness. The story was interesting. Overall this was a really good read and I’ll be thinking about it for a while.
Read
November 16, 2019In a world of who you are. There are ways to overcome adversity and in one is love. When patience is strong you can help the ones you love with deoression and maybe an overwhelming overbearing weight of the world.
January 13, 2021
This is a great story; the characters were well-written and the plot was interesting, and it tackled some really important issues. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone.
February 22, 2020
What a fun pairing! The dichotomy between Aya and Gwen was really well developed, and their chemistry positively sizzled. Another great read from Ms Sterner-Radley, can confidently recommend!!
November 6, 2019
I will start with I typically do not read romance novels. However I want to read more novels where the character is in their 20s. In addition it is nice to read a lesbian romance. I absolutely loved the concepts and I loved the characters. I think highlighting depression and where it fits in romantic relationships is a very important topic. However I was not a fan of the structure. I think too much additional backstory that was not relevant to the overall story and plot was present. Gwen beautifully describes what depression feels like and I felt that should’ve been mentioned earlier in the book in order for me to relate to her constantly not being able to do certain tasks because of her mental illness. Because both characters were incredibly insecure it was hard to tell who was speaking and when sometimes. As stated before I am not a romance person so love scenes seemed to drag for me. I also wish there were more descriptions of boxing earlier in the story. In some parts of the book I felt like I was being lectured to about relationships and feelings and depression instead of feeling it with the characters. However as stated earlier I truly support the topic that was presented in the book and for people who do suffer from a mental illness I think they should consider this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 9, 2020
I don't usually opt for a pure romance story and i picked this one originally because the front cover caught my eye - i'm not even sure i read the blurb!
But by the end this book resonated with me so much. It's unique and raw in it's inclusion of mental health issues not just as a side but as a prominent feature for one of the main characters and the story as a whole.
Anyone who has experience of mental health will recognise the depth of understanding and truth in this story. It's clear that the author has drawn on some element of personal experience/undertaken comprehensive research to get this right and to do the story justice.
The author has done a great job weaving the realities of mental health struggles into what could be anyone's real life, without it coming across as fake, attention seeking or over the top.
It is a work of art that truly depicts how to love and be loved whilst navigating the pits of mental health.
Job well done ❤
But by the end this book resonated with me so much. It's unique and raw in it's inclusion of mental health issues not just as a side but as a prominent feature for one of the main characters and the story as a whole.
Anyone who has experience of mental health will recognise the depth of understanding and truth in this story. It's clear that the author has drawn on some element of personal experience/undertaken comprehensive research to get this right and to do the story justice.
The author has done a great job weaving the realities of mental health struggles into what could be anyone's real life, without it coming across as fake, attention seeking or over the top.
It is a work of art that truly depicts how to love and be loved whilst navigating the pits of mental health.
Job well done ❤
June 16, 2022
Great story with so many well-written elements throughout
This was such a great read! The slow- burn romance built up nicely throughout the book and I felt heavily invested in both of the lead characters.
The author also did a tremendous job of covering the day to day details of dealing with debilitating depression. It was so interesting to follow both Gwen and Aya as they dealt with the challenges of Gwen's depression and Aya's self confidence issues.
I was completely drawn in as they built their relationship together, from the ground up... focusing on self- care and looking for small bright spots in every day.
This was a great read that I highly recommend!
This was such a great read! The slow- burn romance built up nicely throughout the book and I felt heavily invested in both of the lead characters.
The author also did a tremendous job of covering the day to day details of dealing with debilitating depression. It was so interesting to follow both Gwen and Aya as they dealt with the challenges of Gwen's depression and Aya's self confidence issues.
I was completely drawn in as they built their relationship together, from the ground up... focusing on self- care and looking for small bright spots in every day.
This was a great read that I highly recommend!
October 22, 2019
Difficult topic
Congratulations to the author for tackling a very hard topic that is normally disbelieved. Addressing Gwens clinical depression in such a careful and thorough manner. Aya was portrayed as a bumbling young lady who turns into this strong, caring woman willingly attempting to make Gwens condition bearable through daily gifts. The main characters were great and the supporting character Charlotte brought a wonderful addition to the story. We also must not forget Meatloaf the catalyst for their romance.
Congratulations to the author for tackling a very hard topic that is normally disbelieved. Addressing Gwens clinical depression in such a careful and thorough manner. Aya was portrayed as a bumbling young lady who turns into this strong, caring woman willingly attempting to make Gwens condition bearable through daily gifts. The main characters were great and the supporting character Charlotte brought a wonderful addition to the story. We also must not forget Meatloaf the catalyst for their romance.
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