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Terror Mannequin
Forty-year-old Glont Lamont is a longtime employee of Fun 4-Life Corporation, where he gets paid good money to play videos games, watch TV, get drunk, get high, devour pizza, ride the company roller coaster, take long-ass naps, and toss off like a madman in an insane asylum. There’s only one problem: Glont’s sick of his job! Nowadays, all he really wants to do is work long, grueling shifts 7-days-a-week doing any sort of awful, backbreaking, tedious, demoralizing, soul-crushing, severely undercompensated labor.
But with Halloween just a few days away, Glont has more important things to worry about than his workplace woes. Namely, he must take his two “freak” nephews out reverse trick-or-treating, which is a form of annual ritualistic tribute whereby the cruel townspeople force his nephews to walk door-to-door on Halloween night to hand out candy to people instead of receiving candy themselves. And this year, the last stop on the trio’s reverse trick-or-treating itinerary is Fallingwater—built on a natural waterfall, Frank Lloyd Wright’s world-famous architectural masterpiece is now closed to the public and allegedly haunted by an evil supernatural entity known as TERROR MANNEQUIN…
“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” –Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High
“…the best bizarro absurdist in the business.” –Amy M. Vaughn, author of Skull Nuggets
But with Halloween just a few days away, Glont has more important things to worry about than his workplace woes. Namely, he must take his two “freak” nephews out reverse trick-or-treating, which is a form of annual ritualistic tribute whereby the cruel townspeople force his nephews to walk door-to-door on Halloween night to hand out candy to people instead of receiving candy themselves. And this year, the last stop on the trio’s reverse trick-or-treating itinerary is Fallingwater—built on a natural waterfall, Frank Lloyd Wright’s world-famous architectural masterpiece is now closed to the public and allegedly haunted by an evil supernatural entity known as TERROR MANNEQUIN…
“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” –Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High
“…the best bizarro absurdist in the business.” –Amy M. Vaughn, author of Skull Nuggets
203 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 20, 2019
8 people are currently reading
222 people want to read
About the author
Douglas Hackle
22 books264 followersMany moons ago, I abandoned academia after receiving a degree in English Literature. Nowadays, I write fiction when I'm not toiling away as a copywriter/copyeditor in the healthcare space.
Here are some nice things people have said about my work:
“Douglas Hackle is one of the best writers of bizarre, absurdist work out there.” – Charles Austin Muir
"The best bizarro absurdist in the business.” – Amy M. Vaughn
“He's consistently delivered some of the weirdest, wildest, most well-written fiction I've ever read.” – Arthur Graham
“The head honcho of the absurd, the governor of wackiness, the top dog of insanity…Intelligent and imbecilic, Douglas Hackle is one of the most unique voices in bizarro fiction.” – Zoltán Komor
“…a master of the short story.” – Rodney Gardner
“Hackle is a laugh-out-loud genius.” – Donald Armfield
“…one of bizarro fiction’s sharpest satirists.” – Bizarro Central
“…always hilarious, horrific, and brilliantly written entertainment. Highly recommended!” – Brian Boyer
“Douglas Hackle is an evil genius.” – Kevin J. Kennedy
“My mind is blown. Literally. It needs a new fuse…I have never read anything like this.” - Nikki Howard on Clown Tear Junkies
“When it comes to Mr. Hackle, you don’t have a shot in hell of predicting what’s going to happen, even if he’s just told you. […] You can’t know where the story will take you, what the characters will do and say, how it’s all going to shake down in the end, even one page before that end.” – Melodie Ladner
“Hackle isn’t afraid to get you clutching your seat with fear only to have you giggling in the next sentence, and vice versa.”– Ben Walker at Kendall Reviews
“Batshit craziness! […] I honestly think that if you’ve never read a bizarro book, this might be the one you should grab.” – Livius Nedin (former host of the Booked. podcast) on TERROR MANNEQUIN
“… Zoltergeist the Poltergeist is an absolutely superb piece of Bizarro horror – and as a result, a novel that should be considered an exemplar for the rest of the genre to follow and attempt to best.” – The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Reviewer
“This book is an absurdist masterclass, and it may be that the whole problem with the world is that there isn't enough of this kind of thing in it […] Did War and Peace or Crime and Punishment change my life? I don't really think so, to be honest; maybe slightly? Did this book change my life? I shit you not, it kind of did, actually.” – Dirk Wartman on Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!’
Here are some nice things people have said about my work:
“Douglas Hackle is one of the best writers of bizarre, absurdist work out there.” – Charles Austin Muir
"The best bizarro absurdist in the business.” – Amy M. Vaughn
“He's consistently delivered some of the weirdest, wildest, most well-written fiction I've ever read.” – Arthur Graham
“The head honcho of the absurd, the governor of wackiness, the top dog of insanity…Intelligent and imbecilic, Douglas Hackle is one of the most unique voices in bizarro fiction.” – Zoltán Komor
“…a master of the short story.” – Rodney Gardner
“Hackle is a laugh-out-loud genius.” – Donald Armfield
“…one of bizarro fiction’s sharpest satirists.” – Bizarro Central
“…always hilarious, horrific, and brilliantly written entertainment. Highly recommended!” – Brian Boyer
“Douglas Hackle is an evil genius.” – Kevin J. Kennedy
“My mind is blown. Literally. It needs a new fuse…I have never read anything like this.” - Nikki Howard on Clown Tear Junkies
“When it comes to Mr. Hackle, you don’t have a shot in hell of predicting what’s going to happen, even if he’s just told you. […] You can’t know where the story will take you, what the characters will do and say, how it’s all going to shake down in the end, even one page before that end.” – Melodie Ladner
“Hackle isn’t afraid to get you clutching your seat with fear only to have you giggling in the next sentence, and vice versa.”– Ben Walker at Kendall Reviews
“Batshit craziness! […] I honestly think that if you’ve never read a bizarro book, this might be the one you should grab.” – Livius Nedin (former host of the Booked. podcast) on TERROR MANNEQUIN
“… Zoltergeist the Poltergeist is an absolutely superb piece of Bizarro horror – and as a result, a novel that should be considered an exemplar for the rest of the genre to follow and attempt to best.” – The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Reviewer
“This book is an absurdist masterclass, and it may be that the whole problem with the world is that there isn't enough of this kind of thing in it […] Did War and Peace or Crime and Punishment change my life? I don't really think so, to be honest; maybe slightly? Did this book change my life? I shit you not, it kind of did, actually.” – Dirk Wartman on Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!’
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
January 28, 2025
I have never in my life read a book that referenced pizza rolls so many times. That being said, I was a big fan of this story. The writing, insane premise, outlandish characters, unique creatures, and the wonderful, playful banter with the reader throughout…all of it just came together in a beautiful, yet disurbing barrage to my sensory systems. As a fan of Carlton Mellick and other splatterpunk and bizarro writers, this may have been the most over-the-top book to date. I can’t classify as entirely horror, but it definitely has many of the criteria, however hopped into several other genres, on top of being extremely funny, too. For example, The Membrane’s sign language dialogue left me cracking up more times than not. I didn’t love the ending and hoped for something a little more pleasant for Glont/Weak Bitch (His name was legally changed to it, so I had to honor the legal system…but no more spoilers…go read!). He had such a crappy life and I just hoped he and Amanda would find themselves in a happy, but not fully happily ever after type of, finale. But the ending here was fine for what it needed to be. If you’re in the mood for absolute insanity, in under 200 pages, with some creepiness, horrific abominations, really superb and original gore, but also want to laugh your ass off, than I can’t recommend this book highly enough.
December 8, 2019
and it came with an eraser! like i've ever made a mista-HAHAHAHAHAA!!
October 30, 2025
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The year this book came out, I voted it for GR's Best Horror category, but since GR only nominates books that are gonna sell a ton anyway, chances are you've never even heard of it! This year, with Halloween nigh upon us once again, now is your chance to finally remedy that. Nothing further I could say about Terror Mannequin could possibly do it justice, but if you're looking for a story for the season, one unlike any other you've ever read before, then do yourself a favor and pick this up TODAY.
The year this book came out, I voted it for GR's Best Horror category, but since GR only nominates books that are gonna sell a ton anyway, chances are you've never even heard of it! This year, with Halloween nigh upon us once again, now is your chance to finally remedy that. Nothing further I could say about Terror Mannequin could possibly do it justice, but if you're looking for a story for the season, one unlike any other you've ever read before, then do yourself a favor and pick this up TODAY.
November 14, 2019
It's not easy being an outcast in the town of Selohssa. Especially if your nephews are an eons old perpetual two year old and a shape-shifting blob. And mom? She aspires to be Freddy Krueger. She looks like Freddy Krueger. No wonder Glont Lamont is dissatisfied. His job is too easy, and his ex-girlfriend has an invisible mother who will attack anyone who looks at her daughter ... including Glont. Selhossa is under the constant threat of attack by the Terror Mannequin, a multi-being rarely seen who is rumored to destroy anyone it encounters.
Glont and his nephews attempt to survive Halloween, a holiday that singles them out for cruel rituals. Little do they know what or whom they will encounter on this unusual evening. Feefaps, circulatory systems, dancing skeletons, do-si-dos and a scene from Pet Semetary are only a few highlights of their reverse trick or treating route. Will Glont win the heart of the girl that he desires, or will he be forced to eat his lower lip and tear out his eyes under the influence of his hateful co-worker? Is the Terror Mannequin real? Who will Ma-He's-Makin'-Eyes-At-Me target next? There is only one way to satisfy your curiosity. Take a trip to Selohssa. If the irony doesn't capture you, the public displays of debauchery just might debone you. Trick or treat?
Glont and his nephews attempt to survive Halloween, a holiday that singles them out for cruel rituals. Little do they know what or whom they will encounter on this unusual evening. Feefaps, circulatory systems, dancing skeletons, do-si-dos and a scene from Pet Semetary are only a few highlights of their reverse trick or treating route. Will Glont win the heart of the girl that he desires, or will he be forced to eat his lower lip and tear out his eyes under the influence of his hateful co-worker? Is the Terror Mannequin real? Who will Ma-He's-Makin'-Eyes-At-Me target next? There is only one way to satisfy your curiosity. Take a trip to Selohssa. If the irony doesn't capture you, the public displays of debauchery just might debone you. Trick or treat?
October 28, 2019
Very weird, very gory, and very funny. Douglas Hackle has written the literary equivalent to The Toxic Avenger, a blood-soaked, genre-defying, anti-horror novel. I can't imagine everyone "getting" this type of writing, but for those who do, this is A+ stuff.
November 23, 2019
TERROR MANNEQUIN is written in the honed in bat-shit-crazy absurdist style that Douglas Hackle has mastered over the years. Normally a master of short absurdist fiction, TERROR MANNEQUIN is his second foray into long form white dog shit crazy and it delivers. There is a great balance of Hackle tropes coupled with a maturing and new level of absurdism.
TERROR MANNEQUIN is also darker than previous work. This is a bit more horror than it is bizarro. This is a bit more a diabolical fairy tale than a balls to the wall adventure. There is a charm and depth in the characters in TERROR MANNEQUIN that wasn't quite achieved in his last long form novella. The Brothers Grimm ain't got nothing on Hackle. Awwwww Yeahhh!
There's slee-slaws and cree-craws. There's Totinos pizza and white dog shit. There's insane characters and insane antics. Those little Douglas Hackle Easter eggs are tucked in all over the place as well. This is, in short, a Douglas Hackle book. If you're new to Hackle, this is a good place to start. If your an old hat at Hackle this is a must read.
Read TERROR MANNEQUIN today then ride the ride. Soon?
TERROR MANNEQUIN is also darker than previous work. This is a bit more horror than it is bizarro. This is a bit more a diabolical fairy tale than a balls to the wall adventure. There is a charm and depth in the characters in TERROR MANNEQUIN that wasn't quite achieved in his last long form novella. The Brothers Grimm ain't got nothing on Hackle. Awwwww Yeahhh!
There's slee-slaws and cree-craws. There's Totinos pizza and white dog shit. There's insane characters and insane antics. Those little Douglas Hackle Easter eggs are tucked in all over the place as well. This is, in short, a Douglas Hackle book. If you're new to Hackle, this is a good place to start. If your an old hat at Hackle this is a must read.
Read TERROR MANNEQUIN today then ride the ride. Soon?
March 7, 2020
Douglas Hackle did it again, shit, this guy is awesome—I always wondered, what's the difference between a slee-slaw and a cree-craw, and it's all here, in this book! Believe me, it's a big mistake asking Jules Verne about this kind of stuff, I know, I tried, I dug him out once, and asked him, and he told me: "What the fuck, dude, are you a necrophiliac submarine captain, who wants to take my corpse to a romantic underwater honeymoon?" And I said, no, no, I just want to know, what's the dirrence between a slee-slaw and a cree-craw. "Shit, kid, I dunno, why don't ya ask Douglas Hackle, for Christ's sake, and call me, if you grow up to be a submarine captain, who wants to take my corpse to a romantic underwater honeymoon."
And that was that.
So I asked Douglas Hackle, and he told me: "Shit, kid, I just wrote a book about it, go and read it! And call me, if you grow up to be a submarine captain, who wants to take my corpse to a romantic underwater honeymoon."
And that was that.
Anyway, this is how I came across with this book.
If you ask me, Hackle is one of the best absurdist writers in the bizarro community—his unique writing style is instantly recognizable, he's not afraid even of his wildest ideas, and he can be so over the top absurd and gory, that his books are simply over the top wacky and funny. Is it too silly sometimes? Maybe, but that's a big plus from me. Shit, I mean what's not to love about a writer, who makes a whole family play 'Ring Around the Rosie' with their own circulatory systems in his book?
Bold, imaginative, pure and yummy absurdo-milk from Hackle's rosy brain-tits!
And that was that.
So I asked Douglas Hackle, and he told me: "Shit, kid, I just wrote a book about it, go and read it! And call me, if you grow up to be a submarine captain, who wants to take my corpse to a romantic underwater honeymoon."
And that was that.
Anyway, this is how I came across with this book.
If you ask me, Hackle is one of the best absurdist writers in the bizarro community—his unique writing style is instantly recognizable, he's not afraid even of his wildest ideas, and he can be so over the top absurd and gory, that his books are simply over the top wacky and funny. Is it too silly sometimes? Maybe, but that's a big plus from me. Shit, I mean what's not to love about a writer, who makes a whole family play 'Ring Around the Rosie' with their own circulatory systems in his book?
Bold, imaginative, pure and yummy absurdo-milk from Hackle's rosy brain-tits!
May 17, 2020
A twisted tale of awesome
If there ever was a book written for stoners this one is it !so before you start smoke a bowl and venture on .
Loved this book read it it's funny witty and to boot the author is really good at what he. Does
If there ever was a book written for stoners this one is it !so before you start smoke a bowl and venture on .
Loved this book read it it's funny witty and to boot the author is really good at what he. Does
May 23, 2021
Douglas Hackle is one of the best writers of bizarre, absurdist work out there. His narratives are indescribable but I'll say this: They are not centered around the human condition. As I read them, they are instead obsessed with the ways we construct the notion of humans as the center of everything. He has a gift for conjuring up the strangest characters, throwing them into unimaginably ridiculous and illogical situations, weaving in hilarious pop culture, obscure historical references and miniature satires of postmodern living, organizing them through tropes from horror or horror-oriented fiction and unraveling it all through language with a command of poetic language unlike any other author out there. Terror Mannequin is hilarious, well-written, always surprising, mind-bending, brimming with satire and insanity. The story of a young man taking his two freakish nephews out for a Halloween tradition cruelly inverted by a town full of horrible people. Must read.
June 9, 2021
I'm not sure if people would consider this more modern absurdist or bizarro fiction. I think calling it either would be correct. I really enjoyed the author's style and will be checking out some of his other titles. It was a fun read.
November 20, 2019
A clever outlandish romp of bizarro blood splatter, that rolls around in its own gore and jumps up for more. Absurdity literature at its finest!
I would say this books inspiration came from a certain amount of hours of The Puppetmaster while the author stood on his head, eating last years Halloween candy leftovers. Hackle adds more to his Clown Tear Junkie roots and more props to that dude from Soul Asylum with another gut punch of laughter and all the bloody mashup to go with it!!
I would say this books inspiration came from a certain amount of hours of The Puppetmaster while the author stood on his head, eating last years Halloween candy leftovers. Hackle adds more to his Clown Tear Junkie roots and more props to that dude from Soul Asylum with another gut punch of laughter and all the bloody mashup to go with it!!
January 15, 2020
Glont Lamont has the kind of job most would kill for, one where he is basically paid to play. Have fun. Do whatever the fuck he likes. Video games, beer, bud, and porn: a day on the job is somewhere between a wet dream and a high score. He should be happy, but he’s fucking miserable. He longs for the monotony everyone else complains about, for the days to drag and his back to break beneath it all, and from the beginning, this absurd tale is a fun ride. The backwards bullies of Selohssa don’t make life easy for him and his family, but the guy has heart. He fights for what is right and goes through hell along the way, so you’ll be rooting for him the whole time. Plenty of laughs, surprises and a bit of scary fun. Remember to keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times, and buckle up.
November 15, 2019
Up to a point, TERROR MANNEQUIN is a straightforward, paint-by-numbers horror story: a notorious old house that's been vacant for yonks is opened up by a mysterious new owner, and it falls to the town pariah to investigate, though that's the last thing he wants to do. He has an unfulfilling job, he's sacrificed his own happiness for the sake of his family, he's in love with a woman who's not that bothered... check, check and check, yeah?
The thing of it is, this is a Douglas Hackle happening, okay?
Give that material to some snore-o and you might get something passable out of them, readable, but like as not it'd be dull as well. Pedestrian. Forgettable. Even in the bizarro genre, you might see that. Some people aren't cut out for it, you know? Though they try.
When it comes to Mr. Hackle, there are certain things you can expect from him every time--fragments of the larger Dougliverse, say: your sentient chicken nuggets; your cree-craws, and slee-slaws; your dapperwhathaveyous; your dried-up white dogshit; etc. Laid out like that, he might come off like a bit of an idjit, but you have to consider that he works these things in organically. Weirdly, but organically.
When it comes to Mr. Hackle, you don't have a shot in hell of predicting what's going to happen, even if he's just told you. You can't possibly guess what he'll throw at you and expect you to catch, even though it's oozing, smelly, and ablaze. You can't know where the story will take you, what the characters will do and say, how it's all going to shake down in the end, even one page before that end.
Mr. Hackle can take an objectively disgusting creature and make you feel for it, can plunge both hands into a trope like "humans were the real monsters all along!" and somehow keep you from noticing for so long that when it finally comes to you, all you can say is "You magnificent bastard!" He can surprise you into laughing at something you'd go bugfuck mental over on Twitter if it had shown itself to you plainly.
It's true that he gave me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review, but I maintain that he really only took pity on me, as before he did that I mentioned that I didn't have the $6.32CAD in available credit to purchase a copy, which I absolutely would've done, in time.
He's neat. I like how keen he is.
Oh, PS: he employs a real-life famous house in this book--famous to you, but not to me. And this is sorcery, okay: once I confirmed for myself that it was a real house, only a cold hard look at the ugliness of reality convinced me that the many embellishments he gave the place were in fact embellishments.
I'm still not 100% sure.
The thing of it is, this is a Douglas Hackle happening, okay?
Give that material to some snore-o and you might get something passable out of them, readable, but like as not it'd be dull as well. Pedestrian. Forgettable. Even in the bizarro genre, you might see that. Some people aren't cut out for it, you know? Though they try.
When it comes to Mr. Hackle, there are certain things you can expect from him every time--fragments of the larger Dougliverse, say: your sentient chicken nuggets; your cree-craws, and slee-slaws; your dapperwhathaveyous; your dried-up white dogshit; etc. Laid out like that, he might come off like a bit of an idjit, but you have to consider that he works these things in organically. Weirdly, but organically.
When it comes to Mr. Hackle, you don't have a shot in hell of predicting what's going to happen, even if he's just told you. You can't possibly guess what he'll throw at you and expect you to catch, even though it's oozing, smelly, and ablaze. You can't know where the story will take you, what the characters will do and say, how it's all going to shake down in the end, even one page before that end.
Mr. Hackle can take an objectively disgusting creature and make you feel for it, can plunge both hands into a trope like "humans were the real monsters all along!" and somehow keep you from noticing for so long that when it finally comes to you, all you can say is "You magnificent bastard!" He can surprise you into laughing at something you'd go bugfuck mental over on Twitter if it had shown itself to you plainly.
It's true that he gave me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review, but I maintain that he really only took pity on me, as before he did that I mentioned that I didn't have the $6.32CAD in available credit to purchase a copy, which I absolutely would've done, in time.
He's neat. I like how keen he is.
Oh, PS: he employs a real-life famous house in this book--famous to you, but not to me. And this is sorcery, okay: once I confirmed for myself that it was a real house, only a cold hard look at the ugliness of reality convinced me that the many embellishments he gave the place were in fact embellishments.
I'm still not 100% sure.
January 20, 2020
There's nothing that can prepare you for Douglas Hackle's latest book. It's something you have to experience yourself but this isn't an ordinary novel. It's weird, absurb, but f you have an open mind you may find yourself wrapped up in a plot that involves reverse trick or treating, and a man who has two freak nephews. Hackle is the kind of writer who excels at the weird stuff and causes you to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all. You can't help but feel bad for Glont because his life sucks. His boss is a tool who loves to torment him and soon makes Glont change his name. The etire reason for the reverse trick or treating is because of people who fear what they don't understand and the poor freak nephews can't even enjoy Halloowen. Then the book goes off the rails and just descends into a glorious revenge that makes your heart glow. Terror Mannequin isn't for everyone but you should at least check it out. Hackle writes like a man who has taken far too many drugs before writing. There's nothing wrong with that because the results are well worth it. Does he take drugs? I don't know but I am fan of his work and can't wait to see what he comes up with next.
April 23, 2025
I've never read anything like this it had so much going on it really packs a punch 👊 It's crazy, bloody, and funny. This was my first Douglas Hackle book, and I definitely want to check out more. Are all your books this crazy Douglas? 🤪
November 19, 2019
Absurd, weird and extremely fun. I really enjoyed this book and have already recommended it to people. I sat and finished 144 pages in two hours. It's kinda brilliant. Highly recommended.
January 12, 2020
Hear the complete review on our website: https://bookedpodcast.podbean.com/e/4...
December 22, 2020
Fucking weird. Fucking absurd. Fucking brilliant.
I never would have guessed before I read this book how much fun slee-slaw and cree-craw would be to shout at strangers.
I never would have guessed before I read this book how much fun slee-slaw and cree-craw would be to shout at strangers.
January 4, 2020
Douglas Hackle is an evil genius. I’ve been a fan of the Bizarro sub-genre for a long time but mainly only because Carlton Mellick III exists. I’ve read over 30 of his books and have loved most but when it comes to trying other Bizarro authors, I often find that I need to put the book down half way through. Some seem to start out well with a good idea and then just loss their way and others are just stupid for the sake of being stupid. Terror Mannequin on the other hand is absolute madness with a purpose. While there is a solid story line with some great characters, the author misses no chance at throwing in a barrage of absolutely mental concepts and changes up the world we know to something entirely new. The writing is solid, and the execution is flawless. I loved this book and I will definitely be reading more by the author. I finished this the other day and I already wish I could read more in this world.
July 20, 2022
Are you getting tired of the same old hum-drum book with the same cheesy plot? Have you wished upon a star that you can find a book to fulfill your tbr needs? Well, I have the book for you! Granted it’s batshit crazy, completely absurd, hilarious, nasty, and over the top bizarre. But, just like watching a train wreck, you know that you want to read it. You want to know- what’s this book all about and is the author’s writing just as bizarre if not more bizarre than Carlton Mellick’s?
I digress. If you like Bizarro and over the top, you will love TERROR MANNEQUIN! My favorite character was Two Tom, Glont’s freak nephew! You will love and hate every one of the characters. And you will want to read it while eating chocolate and Totino’s pizza rolls.
You especially want to read this before or on Halloween!
😱. Content warning: lots O body horror towards the end.
I digress. If you like Bizarro and over the top, you will love TERROR MANNEQUIN! My favorite character was Two Tom, Glont’s freak nephew! You will love and hate every one of the characters. And you will want to read it while eating chocolate and Totino’s pizza rolls.
You especially want to read this before or on Halloween!
😱. Content warning: lots O body horror towards the end.
November 12, 2019
Ever since I came across The Hottest Gay Man to Die in a Shark Attack, Douglas Hackle has had my admiration. Not only does he have an utterly unique ability to reach for the ridiculous, but the way he thwarts the reader without alienating us is really entertaining. It’s as if he has an instinctual understanding of where the boundaries are and how far they will bend before they break.
All of that is just to say that Hackle is enormously fun to read, and TERROR MANNEQUIN is no different. It’s not for everyone. Its humor is sometimes lewd and crude, but it’s also funny and smart. And the last third of the book is especially gory, like super-gross-body-horror-buckets-of-gore kind of gory. But I expect it has to be, because this, to me, read like an experiment in taking Hackle’s style of absurdism and applying it to horror. There was no way every element wasn’t going to be over the top.
For those of us who dig things darkly, comedically, wildly askew, we are lucky to have another book by Douglas Hackle on the shelves.
All of that is just to say that Hackle is enormously fun to read, and TERROR MANNEQUIN is no different. It’s not for everyone. Its humor is sometimes lewd and crude, but it’s also funny and smart. And the last third of the book is especially gory, like super-gross-body-horror-buckets-of-gore kind of gory. But I expect it has to be, because this, to me, read like an experiment in taking Hackle’s style of absurdism and applying it to horror. There was no way every element wasn’t going to be over the top.
For those of us who dig things darkly, comedically, wildly askew, we are lucky to have another book by Douglas Hackle on the shelves.
December 6, 2024
Douglas Hackle- I sincerely hope that you got a free lifetime supply from Totino's for all of the free advertising you gave them in this book. Seriously. They owe you. And also, I want whatever the hell you were smoking when you wrote this book. It must have been the good stuff.
In all seriousness, I don't think I've ever finished a book and thought, "how the HELL do I describe what I just experienced here?!?!" The answer is that I really can't. You simply have to experience the absurd genius that is Douglas Hackle firsthand. Please, go read Terror Mannequin and reverse trick or treat alongside Glont Lamont and his two nephews, Tom Two and The Membrane, through a town full of assholes. It will be a trip that you won't forget.
For transparency, I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
In all seriousness, I don't think I've ever finished a book and thought, "how the HELL do I describe what I just experienced here?!?!" The answer is that I really can't. You simply have to experience the absurd genius that is Douglas Hackle firsthand. Please, go read Terror Mannequin and reverse trick or treat alongside Glont Lamont and his two nephews, Tom Two and The Membrane, through a town full of assholes. It will be a trip that you won't forget.
For transparency, I did receive a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
July 8, 2020
In bizarro fiction, strangeness, grotesquery and humour are like the three faces of a divine trinity, and Terror Mannequin keeps all three of these elements in a near-perfect balance throughout its length.
It’s a truly bizarre premise; a man whose paid job is basically just to have fun at work is sick to death of his job. This leads to some Pythonesque exchanges between the protagonist and his co-workers, with them urging him to take it easier and bludge some more while he begs to be given more mundane tasks. Yet despite his employment, I wouldn’t willingly trade places with the protag given how the rest of the novella plays out.
The story is monstrously gory and hideously ribald, just as fans of this subgenre of horror-comedy demand. It’s also weird as hell, packed with more bee-boners than you can shake a McNugget at. I had plenty of laughs before I’d even finished the first full chapter. Some parts of the book are like a Douglas Adams narrative, with large passages (in one case, an entire shortish chapter) spent describing character’s quirks or setting up single jokes.
I appreciate one of the twists regarding the origin of the eponymous monster, although the story does get a little expositiony briefly in the climax. And the glum, ultraviolent downer ending won’t be for everyone, even those readers who revelled in the book’s earlier carnage. Maybe my feelings here are just a reflection of how sympathetic the story made me feel for its heroes. All things considered, you will want some of these oddball characters to find their happiness.
Terror Mannequin, overall, has a nihilistic attitude towards justice and characters getting what they deserve, and it’s this underlying philosophy that makes its three elements (weirdness, horror, comedy) all the more powerful.
It’s a truly bizarre premise; a man whose paid job is basically just to have fun at work is sick to death of his job. This leads to some Pythonesque exchanges between the protagonist and his co-workers, with them urging him to take it easier and bludge some more while he begs to be given more mundane tasks. Yet despite his employment, I wouldn’t willingly trade places with the protag given how the rest of the novella plays out.
The story is monstrously gory and hideously ribald, just as fans of this subgenre of horror-comedy demand. It’s also weird as hell, packed with more bee-boners than you can shake a McNugget at. I had plenty of laughs before I’d even finished the first full chapter. Some parts of the book are like a Douglas Adams narrative, with large passages (in one case, an entire shortish chapter) spent describing character’s quirks or setting up single jokes.
I appreciate one of the twists regarding the origin of the eponymous monster, although the story does get a little expositiony briefly in the climax. And the glum, ultraviolent downer ending won’t be for everyone, even those readers who revelled in the book’s earlier carnage. Maybe my feelings here are just a reflection of how sympathetic the story made me feel for its heroes. All things considered, you will want some of these oddball characters to find their happiness.
Terror Mannequin, overall, has a nihilistic attitude towards justice and characters getting what they deserve, and it’s this underlying philosophy that makes its three elements (weirdness, horror, comedy) all the more powerful.
March 19, 2020
I knew TERROR MANNEQUIN was meant to be absurd and funny from what friends were saying on Twitter, but I didn't expect to laugh as much as I did.
This was great. And much needed, too, in times like these.
I could try and explain what the book is about but I wouldn't be able to do it justice.
Just buy the damn thing.
It'll certainly take your mind of things.
A well deserved five stars.
Proper enjoyed this.
This was great. And much needed, too, in times like these.
I could try and explain what the book is about but I wouldn't be able to do it justice.
Just buy the damn thing.
It'll certainly take your mind of things.
A well deserved five stars.
Proper enjoyed this.
December 10, 2019
Fun
This book is a fun read and funny as hell. I can't wait to read more of this authors work. Awwwwwww yeeeeeeaaaah.
This book is a fun read and funny as hell. I can't wait to read more of this authors work. Awwwwwww yeeeeeeaaaah.
February 14, 2020
I feel like if Clive Barker and Douglas Adams had a book baby - IT WOULD BE THIS BOOK. Feeling complete weird book love here ❤
HERE'S THE SUMMARY: Glont Lamont (a.k.a My Tiny Little Weak Bitch) is having a bad Halloween week. He just wants to take a girl out. Instead, he must take his "nephews" (an ancient 2-year-old and a sentient packet of shape-shifting flesh) reverse trick-or-treating through an entire town to avoid an angry mob. AND NOW they even have to visit the previously inaccessible home of the murderous Terror Mannequin (a jack-in-the-box controlled by a voodoo doll controlled by a creepy old doll controlled by a ventriloquist dummy controlled by an mannequin, or is it the other way around?)
And if you don't think that's some of the weirdest sentences I've ever written, you would be wrong.
HERE'S THE REVIEW: So this was weird. In the best, most absurd and bizarre way. If you need your fiction to make perfect sense, this is definitely not the book for you. This is funny, irreverent, off-putting, offensive, interesting, creepy, gory and just plain fun. For all its absurdity, this is a really well-written, highly crafted story and I really can't wait to read more from this author. Definitely try it if this review has interested you at all.
Click here to check out all my book things.
HERE'S THE SUMMARY: Glont Lamont (a.k.a My Tiny Little Weak Bitch) is having a bad Halloween week. He just wants to take a girl out. Instead, he must take his "nephews" (an ancient 2-year-old and a sentient packet of shape-shifting flesh) reverse trick-or-treating through an entire town to avoid an angry mob. AND NOW they even have to visit the previously inaccessible home of the murderous Terror Mannequin (a jack-in-the-box controlled by a voodoo doll controlled by a creepy old doll controlled by a ventriloquist dummy controlled by an mannequin, or is it the other way around?)
And if you don't think that's some of the weirdest sentences I've ever written, you would be wrong.
HERE'S THE REVIEW: So this was weird. In the best, most absurd and bizarre way. If you need your fiction to make perfect sense, this is definitely not the book for you. This is funny, irreverent, off-putting, offensive, interesting, creepy, gory and just plain fun. For all its absurdity, this is a really well-written, highly crafted story and I really can't wait to read more from this author. Definitely try it if this review has interested you at all.
Click here to check out all my book things.
August 9, 2024
Bizarro at its best. Hilarious and hideous. Fabulous!
Pull up a see-saw and I’ll take you through this. My diaper is good for another few minutes and there are plenty of pizza rolls to go round. Adherents of Treetrap-Foofap-Glargarinism will understand the meditative value it brings to Chillington the Chillmaster of Chillville. When things don’t chill, Aw-Yeah we got you.
Douglas Hackle is the best bizarro horror comedy author out there. Everything I have read by him has been fantastic. Even though reading this has brought back my Hackle-Cackle - a strange combination of a shriek, laugh and nostril excavation. Medical insurance doesn’t cover it, but so do get my own seat on the bus now. Aw-Yeah!
Pull up a see-saw and I’ll take you through this. My diaper is good for another few minutes and there are plenty of pizza rolls to go round. Adherents of Treetrap-Foofap-Glargarinism will understand the meditative value it brings to Chillington the Chillmaster of Chillville. When things don’t chill, Aw-Yeah we got you.
Douglas Hackle is the best bizarro horror comedy author out there. Everything I have read by him has been fantastic. Even though reading this has brought back my Hackle-Cackle - a strange combination of a shriek, laugh and nostril excavation. Medical insurance doesn’t cover it, but so do get my own seat on the bus now. Aw-Yeah!
August 22, 2020
You probably expect this book to be quite bizarre. Multiply your expectations by 10. And then add a million. The dialogue and writing is as funny as the titular Terror Mannequin is terrifying.
July 17, 2024
Terror Mannequin by Douglas Hackle
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This book was my introduction into the world of bizzaro absurdist horror and it was everything I could have wanted it to be!
Glont Lamont works a dream job at Fun-4-life Corporation, but it's not his dream anymore. He'd rather be working a grueling, soul crushing job every day of his life! This Halloween he has other things to think about like taking his "freak" nephews reverse trick or treating, which is exactly what it sounds like! Going door to door handing out candy to the towns people, will their last stop of the night bring them face to face with the evil, supernatural, Terror Mannequin?!?
Let me just say, "Wow..." Going into Terror Mannequin I only had a vague idea of what to expect. This book was absolutely bonkers and I loved it!
The book starts off normal enough giving you some back story of Fallingwater and your introduction to Terror Mannequin, but by the end of the prologue you know exactly what you are getting yourself into with this book and it left me wondering how I will ever look at a pizza roll the same again!
From the 'unique' characters to the creative imagery, Douglas Hackle knows exactly what he is doing in this horror genre, and had me laughing and cringing at the same time. I highly recommend this book! I can't do it justice with a review, especially if you have not read a book like this before. You have just got to read it!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
This book was my introduction into the world of bizzaro absurdist horror and it was everything I could have wanted it to be!
Glont Lamont works a dream job at Fun-4-life Corporation, but it's not his dream anymore. He'd rather be working a grueling, soul crushing job every day of his life! This Halloween he has other things to think about like taking his "freak" nephews reverse trick or treating, which is exactly what it sounds like! Going door to door handing out candy to the towns people, will their last stop of the night bring them face to face with the evil, supernatural, Terror Mannequin?!?
Let me just say, "Wow..." Going into Terror Mannequin I only had a vague idea of what to expect. This book was absolutely bonkers and I loved it!
The book starts off normal enough giving you some back story of Fallingwater and your introduction to Terror Mannequin, but by the end of the prologue you know exactly what you are getting yourself into with this book and it left me wondering how I will ever look at a pizza roll the same again!
From the 'unique' characters to the creative imagery, Douglas Hackle knows exactly what he is doing in this horror genre, and had me laughing and cringing at the same time. I highly recommend this book! I can't do it justice with a review, especially if you have not read a book like this before. You have just got to read it!
April 7, 2025
Ok, this book will have you shaking your head all the through. It’s a bizarre, dark comedy with sad qualities. A man name Glont lives an eccentric lifestyle and is taking care of his mom and “nephews”. He has a job he hates and practically no friends. But his life is about to change and not for the better. It’s a story that I promise you’ve never heard of or read before. I laughed almost all the way through. There were a few parts I covered my eyes 🫣. I really enjoyed this book because it took me on a wild ride. I highly recommend it.
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