Update, 10/29/20: Anonymous is finally revealed, as...some guy I've never heard of.
Why does this book exist?
...That at any rate was my first question, though it wasn't long before my attention was distracted by a news story. Or at least I think it was a news story. I became aware of it, that is to say, without any agency or conscious wish on my part- presumably through the noosphere, if that's what we're calling it these days. An American couple from Indiana adopted a little girl from Ukraine who turned out not to be a little girl at all, but a 30-year-old dwarf...
...and then she tried to kill them! Aaaaaaah!
What if I'd been friends with that couple, I wondered, and had gone over to meet their adopted daughter? What if we'd been playing on the floor together, she and I, and I'd noticed out of the corner of my eye a decidedly un-childlike expression on her face? What if she'd started to suspect that I suspected? Would I have had the courage to voice my suspicions to the parents, risk their completely understandable displeasure, before the demonic kid- I mean, the adult woman- left a toy block at the top of the stairs for me to step on?
Dazed at the bottom of the stairs, I would hear her approach with a childlike giggle, something in her little hand. How does that Iron Maiden song go again? The fourth track on Powerslave? Oh yes:
You'll die as you lived/
In a flash of the blade...
Her father's a surgeon. What's that in her hand? A scalpel. Aiyeeeeeee...
...And that would be the end of Mike. Tragic, really. His passivity finally cost him his life. Oh well...but in reality I was lying in bed by this point, the audiobook was still playing, and Robert Fass's sententious tones slowly drew me back to serious, sacrosanct, hallowed matters. The presidency of the United States. "Incisive elucidations"..."cherished ideals"..."distancing itself from its friends and courting its enemies"..."calling balls and strikes", the obligatory sports metaphor..."[we are] the level-headed stewards...not the deep state but the steady state"...approving invocation of Henry Kissinger...
...I almost never listen to audiobooks, but I wasn't going to pay $30 for a hardcover copy of this 272-page book (~9 pages/$1), and Audible allowed me to listen if I signed up for a 30-day free trial...which I canceled as soon as I finished listening. Anonymous doesn't read his or her own audiobook, for obvious reasons; instead it's read by someone named Robert Fass, whose aristocratic diction (easily shifting from civic high-mindedness and Reaganesque bromides one minute to haughty contempt, usually when referring to Donald Trump, the next) evoked in my mind an image of an old sanctimonious Republican guy of the George Will variety, which I assume is an accurate enough description of Anonymous, to the point that for long stretches of the book, I found it easy to believe that I was listening to the actual author. There's at least some good humor in the sudden contrasts: Fass will intone in his patrician accent about "...vaunted plazas of open society..." and "...traditional conservative values...", before trying, with exaggerated boorishness, to imitate Donald Trump saying things like (standing in the Oval Office, presumably), "this place is kinda sexy, isn't it?"
But for me to have found this book remotely worthwhile, I think that it would have had to either detail evidence of a serious new crime(s), or look at the Trump presidency in an unusually perceptive way. With regards to the first point, there's very little hard information here beyond a deathly boring recitation of Trump's most egregious public moments (or the moments that Anonymous considers most egregious, anyway), a recitation that you could hear from any cable news pundit. There's so little here in fact that isn't already public knowledge, or easily guessable, that you could almost begin to suspect that there isn't any Anonymous at all, that the New York Times has made the whole thing up. Maybe it's James Patterson. That's crazy talk, I suppose, or at least I think it is, and I suppose that Anonymous was so concerned with remaining anonymous that they carefully avoided describing any specific encounters with the president, or any facts or recollections that only Anonymous could know or have, but this unfortunately makes for an incredibly dull book.
A review I read somewhere before the book's release, maybe in The Guardian, tried to hype it by discussing the "revelation" that Trump had privately mocked the asylum-seekers at the border by imitating a Hispanic accent. Indeed. Well, what am I supposed to say? No no, I can't believe it, not our esteemed president, he would never do a thing like that? Of course he did, he's Trump. Second of all, it's notable that this is the kind of thing that bothers Anonymous the most- not the actual human suffering caused by Trump's policies at the border, but the lack of decorum, the incivility. Do whatever you want, but you've got to look presidential, damn it, like Reagan. Political correctness, in other words.
The book also might have been compelling if Anonymous had engaged seriously with the thought, history or literature of authoritarianism, using their presumably first-hand knowledge of the Trump administration to provoke us, challenge us, or tell us something we don't know. But most of Anonymous's criticisms are superficial, pedantic, and/or obvious. "Normal people who spend any time with Donald J. Trump are made uncomfortable by what they witness", they write; "attempts to get the president to care about fiscal conservatism have mostly failed"; and my personal favorite line in the book, in an unintentionally hilarious chapter on Character, "we can safely say that Trump doesn't meet Cicero's standard for someone who reveres the truth." These are the kinds of searing insights you'll glean for $30.
And the problem is that this book, to justify its existence, needs to make the argument that Trump is such an unprecedented danger to democracy and the rule of law, a Hitler-like (or at least an Erdogan- or Putin-like) figure, that Anonymous has no choice but to subvert the president's worst impulses from within the administration. But Anonymous is actually preoccupied for long stretches of the book with something different- the danger they believe Trump poses to "conservative principles" like small government and slashing the budget, and to "the foreign-policy consensus." Anonymous never considers that Trump's disregard for these things may be one reason that people voted for him. On foreign policy, Anonymous writes, and Fass's voice grows appropriately ominous (appropriate in terms of the author's intention, that is), Trump has "strayed into the wilderness, far from the Republican Party." He meets with Kim Jong-Un...he cozies up (this phrase is everywhere these days, like a virus) to dictators! It won't come as a surprise that I don't give a damn about conservative principles or the foreign-policy consensus, but Anonymous might be wise to notice that not many people outside his or her Washington bubble seem to anymore, either. Maybe most people have finally realized that those principles were always a lie. Trump won crucial victories in states with desiccated economies and high numbers of Afghanistan and Iraq war veterans. Maybe these voters don't like seeing their jobs shipped overseas, and maybe they don't like what the venerable foreign-policy establishment's doctrine of endless war has done to them and their families. Trump campaigned on these issues, sincerely or not, but it's beyond Anonymous to reflect on how their party might have helped to create the conditions that made Trump possible. At one point in the chapter on foreign policy, Anonymous clearly if unintentionally illustrates their own blind spot, contrasting Bush's conduct after 9/11 with Trump's dismissal of Russian interference in the 2016 election. "Imagine if Bush had questioned the conclusions of the intelligence agencies", Anonymous implores. "Imagine if Bush had questioned whether we were really attacked by al-Qaeda, had suggested that 'maybe it was someone else.'" Yes Anonymous, exactly...what if Bush had questioned the intelligence agencies, especially a couple of years later, when they claimed that Iraq had WMDs?
I say that the book needs to justify itself because the idea of the book in principle makes me uneasy. I can't help imagining the shoe on the other foot. Let's say for the sake of argument that Bernie Sanders becomes president next year. On the domestic front, he starts pushing for Medicare-for-All and the Green New Deal during his first week in office. In foreign policy, he condemns a coup in Bolivia, questions our dependence on Saudi oil, and talks about the rights of Palestinians. Soon enough, an anonymous op-ed appears in the Times or the Post: Bernie is straying into the wilderness, far from the orthodoxy of the Democratic Party (the writer would be able to quote a friend of Obama's succinct dismissal from this past week: "Bernie's not a Democrat"). Normally I would never take a step like this, Anonymous- I mean, the anonymous op-ed writer- might continue, but we, the level-headed stewards, can't allow this dangerous Socialist to create a universal public healthcare system and erase college debt...our donors would never stand for it. Well, he or she wouldn't write that last part, but you get the idea.
I guess that speaks to why Anonymous's book strikes me as so predictable- one elite trying to make common cause with other elites because the proles finally managed to get into power. This impression was only reinforced by the final chapter, where you might hope Anonymous would at least express unequivocal support for any Democratic candidate who ends up running against Trump. You've just written this book, after all, (ostensibly) about what a terrible danger to democracy the man is. But Anonymous's rebellion is so tepid and insincere that they can't even manage that. Anonymous implores the Democrats to use "wisdom and restraint" in choosing their nominee. If, however, the Democrats choose "one of the candidates preaching socialism" (Fass's voice becomes ominous again), by which I assume Anonymous means Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren, we may be unable to find "common ground." Trump may offend Anonymous's delicate sensibilities (and part of what's darkly entertaining about this experience is listening to someone like Anonymous continually try not to look into the unvarnished mirror of his or her own avarice, racism and lust for power that Trump represents), but I have a feeling Anonymous will get over that if faced with the prospect of a candidate who has even the slightest interest in resolving economic inequality, getting corporate money out of politics, or fighting climate change. In fact, I predict that, after all this light and noise, if the nominee turns out to be either Sanders or Warren, Anonymous and the "level-headed stewards" will, anonymously or not, support Trump next year, which would be the last laugh on anyone who spent $30-plus-tax on this pedantic, anodyne and ineffectual warning. It seems unlikely, but if through some strange disturbance in the noosphere Anonymous is reading this review, I bet he or she doesn't like that assessment. Good. Prove me wrong, Anonymous.