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My Life in Ladies' Knickers
Another outrageous full-length comedy adventure from Oscar Sparrow. Enjoy laugh-out-loud moments as you discover the true story of how a sewage sucker became a bestselling female romance novelist.
‘My Life in Ladies’ Knickers’ is as British as a Friday night kebab and a pub fight.
Oscar Sparrow is a sewage trucker and poet. His life is a slap-stick romantic comedy where the slap is the harsh truth of life. The tickling stick has a shitty end with which to fight back. The romance is the transformative touch of a woman’s love.
Pursued by a literary stalker, crippled by lack of dietary fibre, sometimes naked and soaked in foul waste he never loses sight of his vision. Even from his police cell he sees only the blue sky. Driven on by his reckless love of women he becomes a successful female romantic novelist.
If you’ve ever despaired, fallen in love, or sat on a toilet, this book will change your perception of reality. Through failure, rejection and self-doubt a man fights his way off the bottom. A love story conceived over an open manhole and delivered by Elvis. An inspirational account of our common struggles.
Take his grubby hand and for the rest of your life a comrade walks with you through every set-back and brings you through as a winner. The self-help book the bosses don’t want you to read.
It’s jokey, it’s blokey, it’s porn hokey-cokey.
Oscar Sparrow is The Poet Lorry-Park.
‘My Life in Ladies’ Knickers’ is as British as a Friday night kebab and a pub fight.
Oscar Sparrow is a sewage trucker and poet. His life is a slap-stick romantic comedy where the slap is the harsh truth of life. The tickling stick has a shitty end with which to fight back. The romance is the transformative touch of a woman’s love.
Pursued by a literary stalker, crippled by lack of dietary fibre, sometimes naked and soaked in foul waste he never loses sight of his vision. Even from his police cell he sees only the blue sky. Driven on by his reckless love of women he becomes a successful female romantic novelist.
If you’ve ever despaired, fallen in love, or sat on a toilet, this book will change your perception of reality. Through failure, rejection and self-doubt a man fights his way off the bottom. A love story conceived over an open manhole and delivered by Elvis. An inspirational account of our common struggles.
Take his grubby hand and for the rest of your life a comrade walks with you through every set-back and brings you through as a winner. The self-help book the bosses don’t want you to read.
It’s jokey, it’s blokey, it’s porn hokey-cokey.
Oscar Sparrow is The Poet Lorry-Park.
- GenresHumor
216 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 8, 2019
31 people are currently reading
24 people want to read
About the author
Oscar Sparrow
5 books75 followersOscar Sparrow was born in Winchester UK in 1949, apparently thanks to the American Marshal Aid programme to re-build Europe after the war. As the colour red leached its way out of the map of the British Empire, Oscar attended a die-hard Church school designed to create noble savages to serve what was left of the savage Nobles. The Eleven Plus exam revealed that he could not even count to eleven and he became a mechanic, labourer, truck driver, boxer and poet. He read Wordsworth and Ford Cortina manuals in a lorry cab near both Oxford and Cambridge universities. He married a kind forgiving woman who eventually forgave herself for that one big mistake. He has several wonderful children and hopes that one day they will all meet.
At the age of 25 he heard the music of Edith Piaf and learned to sing all her songs. A few years later he realised she was French and that he was an ugly swan not a beautiful duckling. The shock propelled him to London where he joined the Metropolitan Police. Car chases and riots followed but he did not take it personally. He spent his spare time touring the Art galleries, singing Piaf and learning Italian. Eventually The Authorities fell for the con and gave him a desk job in the Art department of Interpol London at Scotland Yard.
One day a few years later, the lure of the wild swept him away to the roads of Europe as road gipsy trucker. His love of fried battered fish eventually drew him back to England where he drove sewage tankers and set up a taxi business. Throughout all this time he was a would be poet, short story writer and novelist.
At the age of 25 he heard the music of Edith Piaf and learned to sing all her songs. A few years later he realised she was French and that he was an ugly swan not a beautiful duckling. The shock propelled him to London where he joined the Metropolitan Police. Car chases and riots followed but he did not take it personally. He spent his spare time touring the Art galleries, singing Piaf and learning Italian. Eventually The Authorities fell for the con and gave him a desk job in the Art department of Interpol London at Scotland Yard.
One day a few years later, the lure of the wild swept him away to the roads of Europe as road gipsy trucker. His love of fried battered fish eventually drew him back to England where he drove sewage tankers and set up a taxi business. Throughout all this time he was a would be poet, short story writer and novelist.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
November 12, 2019
Real life is better than Fiction
From the first page of this book, I was "sucked" in because this author has that magical way of sharing his "real life" situations and creating quite a funny story. In the beginning, I was expecting one of those boring self-help books, but, the title threw me and I wasn't sure if the situations were "real," so, I laughed so loud that I woke up my dog. When I realized that real life can be funnier than fiction, I felt bad about laughing at another's bad luck until. ..again I realized that laughing was exactly what this author wanted. What a wild ride. I can't wait to read more of Mr. Sparrow's books.
I received a free copy of this book and chose freely to share my review
From the first page of this book, I was "sucked" in because this author has that magical way of sharing his "real life" situations and creating quite a funny story. In the beginning, I was expecting one of those boring self-help books, but, the title threw me and I wasn't sure if the situations were "real," so, I laughed so loud that I woke up my dog. When I realized that real life can be funnier than fiction, I felt bad about laughing at another's bad luck until. ..again I realized that laughing was exactly what this author wanted. What a wild ride. I can't wait to read more of Mr. Sparrow's books.
I received a free copy of this book and chose freely to share my review
September 23, 2024
A few laughs, but mostly a waste of time
Sorry, this book just wasn't good. Sure, some parts were funny and even well written. And reading in- between the lines, the author had an unusual life story that, at points, was interesting. But the sentences were often too difficult to understand and after a while I stopped trying. It's like the author periodically decided to use a thesaurus for every word in a sentence. Yes, it was part of the "joke", but after you hear (read) the joke a couple (hundred) times, it's no longer funny or enjoyable. With the exception of a few flashes of comedic brilliance, the title was the best thing about this book!
Reading my review again, I know that I sound like a pompous a-hole, but this book just isn't that good.
Sorry, this book just wasn't good. Sure, some parts were funny and even well written. And reading in- between the lines, the author had an unusual life story that, at points, was interesting. But the sentences were often too difficult to understand and after a while I stopped trying. It's like the author periodically decided to use a thesaurus for every word in a sentence. Yes, it was part of the "joke", but after you hear (read) the joke a couple (hundred) times, it's no longer funny or enjoyable. With the exception of a few flashes of comedic brilliance, the title was the best thing about this book!
Reading my review again, I know that I sound like a pompous a-hole, but this book just isn't that good.
November 6, 2019
Edgy and Hilarious!
Oscar Sparrow delivers a slightly deranged Kurt Vonnegut approach to life and the world of popular literature in this self-help book on how to become a writer. Oscar’s observations are vibrantly descriptive, if not just a little off-kilter from everyone else, as he details the events that propelled his writing career. At times, he is the sanest person in the room; at others, he is the lunatic.
Throughout, he delivers kernels of truth and advice to aspiring authors in his bizarrely entertaining fashion. I received a free copy but my review is voluntary and honest.
Oscar Sparrow delivers a slightly deranged Kurt Vonnegut approach to life and the world of popular literature in this self-help book on how to become a writer. Oscar’s observations are vibrantly descriptive, if not just a little off-kilter from everyone else, as he details the events that propelled his writing career. At times, he is the sanest person in the room; at others, he is the lunatic.
Throughout, he delivers kernels of truth and advice to aspiring authors in his bizarrely entertaining fashion. I received a free copy but my review is voluntary and honest.
November 27, 2019
I had no idea what to expect when I downloaded this book, but I'm so glad I read it. The story, based on true events, was so far-fetched in the realms of ridiculous in some sections, that I loved the author more! What a resilient man, and a gorgeous wifey he now has.
As an aspiring author, I appreciated experiencing the journey in all of its fantastical faeces'ed glory.
NB I received an ARC of the book.
As an aspiring author, I appreciated experiencing the journey in all of its fantastical faeces'ed glory.
NB I received an ARC of the book.
November 30, 2019
I really enjoyed this book! The title totally threw me and I had no idea what to expect. It was a complete surprise for me once I started reading it. I found the story to be hilariously funny and so entertaining. Oscar Sparrow is a talented writer, and the book is full of comic moments. A definite must read and I can't wait to read more from this author.
November 1, 2019
This book had some humor. The book could make you laugh and get angry.
The book is well written. If you like stories with a lot of self ideas and sarcasm then you will like this book.
Although interestingly written it was not for me.
The book is well written. If you like stories with a lot of self ideas and sarcasm then you will like this book.
Although interestingly written it was not for me.
November 5, 2019
This novel is part autobiographical, part lunacy and part self-help. If you love British humor you will adore this book. If not then read My Life In Ladies' Knickers and rethink your position! A hilarious way to learn about the world of writing.
April 26, 2020
I didn't make it far in this book. I should have known better. It's about a septic system cleaner. One should expect some shit jokes, but enough is enough. And the plot, such as it was, was lame at best. Flush this one.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews