DELETED AND READDED BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD IT BURIED
Beautiful Disaster opens up at night in the basement of an empty academic building on a college campus where a fighting/betting ring known as The Circle is being run. This is where we meet Travis 'Mad Dog' Maddox, the male romantic lead. He, of course, wins his fight. The female lead, Abby, is attending the fight club for the first time that night. She ends up with blood on her cashmere sweater and a new name given to her by Travis, who doesn't even bother to ask for her name before arbitrarily deciding on 'Pigeon.' It is the way one might rename a dog one has adopted.
We meet Travis again in the cafeteria. He is being "followed by two voluptuous bottle-blondes wearing Sigma Kappa tees. One of them sat on Travis' lap, the other sat beside him, pawing at his shirt." Abby's best friend America, who also happens to be dating Travis's cousin and roommate, makes a snide comment. One of the blonde's calls her a skank. Travis "lets his knees give way, sending her tumbling to the floor" because America is his friend. This little interlude sets up two major reoccurring issues: girl on girl hate and Travis treating girls like garbage to step over. Every girl in the book except for Abby and America is a skank, a bitch or a bitchy skank. As for Travis, this incident of deliberately humiliating a girl in public and dropping her on the floor like the used condom wrapper she represents to him is actually as close to a gentleman as he ever gets because this is one of the mildest examples of his behavior.
After lunch, Travis and Abby conveniently have a class together although they seemed to have seen each other for the first time at the fight last night. Whatever, get used to this author making up shit as she goes along and writing inconsistently from start to finish. I can give you a list of minor (yet annoying) continuity issues in the comment section below if asked.
Travis fixates on Abby and sits beside her, leaving disappointed girls by his usual seat. He indicates she should take notes for him and spends the rest of the class zoned out. Never fear though! Travis is a freaking genius. He doesn't need notes or studying or attending classes to ace the grades. On a similar note, he also does not need to eat healthy or exercise to maintain his muscle mass and six pack! I'm sorry, but every guy I've talked to with a body like Travis's could go on extensively about his diet and workout regime. We don't have to worry about believability in this world because despite the lack of traditional fantasy markings nothing about this book remotely resembles reality. In this world, control and abuse can turn into a happily ever after.
With minimal effort Travis pesters Abby into agreeing to come to his apartment after school with her friend America, who is there often to see her own boyfriend, Shepley, Travis's cousin. She agrees and then attempts to dress in the most disgusting way possible: "My hair was piled on top of my head in a messy bun. I had scrubbed the makeup from my face and repalced my contacts with rectangular black-rimmed glasses. Sporting a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants, I shuffles along in a pair of flip flops." I'll hold on while you get your favorite religious artifact to hold off this monster. This description pretty much matches me at the moment on my day off. Rawr.
Anyway, Travis is not put off by this visual and decides to drag her out to dinner, which he *gasp* never does with the girls he sleeps with. Abby's friend America is the least helpful person when it comes to rejecting Travis's unwanted advances.
"I was just heading out for dinner. You hungry, Pidge?" (We still have no idea why he's calling her this.)
"I already ate," I shrugged. (Dialogue is routinely shrugged and smiled rather than spoken.)
"No you haven't," America said before realizing her mistake. "Oh...er...that's right, I forgot you grabbed a... pizza? Before we left."
I can't even tell you how much trouble my friend would be in if she did that to me. Still crappy friend aside, no one forces Abby to go with Travis, no one forces her to get on the back of her motorcycle. She does all of these things despite being extremely uncomfortable around him because Abby is an idiot. During dinner Travis opens up to her about his dead mother and they connect a bit. So much so that he insists on sitting beside her the next day at lunch by bullying someone else out of an already occupied chair. And it is bullying. He does not ask for the chair so much as claims it already belongs to him (much like Abby) and then he stares the guy down until he moves. Abby is pleased with the attention and the girls looking at her to see who Travis insisted on sitting beside.
The next big plot movement involves broken boilers in America and Abby's dorm room. America's solution is that they move in with Shep and Travis until they fix the boilers. What... the hell? I can't comprehend how moving off campus to be near hot water could possibly be more convenient than living on campus and heading to an off campus apartment once a day for a shower. Really, you're not supposed to be thinking this much, but since Abby protests vehemently before capitulating you do get a lot of time to think about what a stupid idea this is. I would have preferred a day of skipping a shower or a cold shower to living with someone who made me uncomfortable.
Abby and America arrive at the apartment just as Travis's latest fling(?) is getting ready to leave. She offers him her number and he declines in front of an audience of two other girls and his roommate, letting her know exactly what she means. They're not a silent audience either: "Every time!" America said. She looked at the woman. "How are you surprised by this? He's Travis fucking Maddox! He's famous for this very thing, and every time they're surprised!"
America's boyfriend must comfort her after she delivers this tirade even though the girl she insinuated was, at best, naive and, at worse, stupid is still standing there. Abby is not pleased with all of this because she didn't realize "Shepley's apartment was a revolving door for clueless bimbos." I love how other girls in this book are treated. It's just fantastic. My favorite is Abby calling the girls Travis sleeps with STD infested imbeciles.
Abby "stared at the couch, the cushions still askew and bunched up from its recent use. I recoiled at the thought of how many women had given themselves away against the fabric. Itchy fabric at that." Nice, right? Nothing about Travis or how he treated them, just the awful, dirty sexually active girls.
Abby decides she can't possibly sleep on the couch so Travis offers her his bed. He does not fuck girls in there. This speaks volumes about how he views women, good enough for his dick, not good enough for his sheets. I'll kill the suspense here. He sleeps with her in his bed, but not before he keeps wandering in and out of the bathroom while she's showering!
He brings her a towel and her toothbrush while she's showering and then ignores her shrieks at him to get out. He does not knock before entering the bathroom nor did he announce himself. He just opens the door and makes himself at home. It's creepy. He brings her stuff in, which means he went through her bags. She shrieks about him going through her stuff and he ignores her, not offering an excuse or apology. She shrieks at him to get out again and he insists he has to brush her teeth all while she's naked on the other side of the curtain. It's all invasive, scary, and the start of a very alarming and controlling relationship.
I wouldn't have finished showering. I would have gotten dressed, soapy hair and all, before heading back to my home. Abby, who has stood in the shower with her arms wrapped defensively around her chest listening to him brush his teeth, gets out of the shower and SMILES at the night moisturizer Travis brought her while violating her privacy and personal space. Vomit. Vomit. Vomit.
During Abby and America's long stay with Travis and Shepley (seriously, the campus couldn't open another dorm building for them to shower in?), they all go to a bar together. In an attempt to prove they're not sleeping together to the rest of the school Travis and Abby dance together? I don't get the logic there. Anyway he licks her throat. She is not happy. He's mad she's not happy and grinds up on some other girl. She flirts with the bartender, but Travis puts a swift stop to that! Because the guy is a rapist! He's been arrested for it and Travis knows all about it! Thank God for Travis. Thank God for his instructions not to take drinks from anyone but him and his cousin, because they treat girls with all the respect in the world and are the most upstanding citizens to take drinks from. Vomit. Vomit. Vomit.
They are still a foursome when Travis gets called for another fight. He asks Abby to go with him. America gives her non-Abbyish clothes to wear (a deep cut, yellow halter top and tight, low-rise jeans). Travis takes one look at her and DEMANDS she change.
Travis's mouth fell open. "Oh, hell no. Are you trying to get me killed? You've gotta change, Pidge."
"What?" I asked, looking down.
America grabbed her hips. "She looks cute, Trav, leave her alone!"
Travis took my hands and led me down the hall. "Get a t-shirt on... and some sneakers. Something comfortable."
"What? Why?"
"Because I'll be more worried about who's looking at your tits in that shirt instead of Hoffman," he said, stopping at his door.
"I thought you said you didn't give a damn what anyone else thought?"
"That's a different scenario, Pigeon." Travis looked down at my chest and then up at me. "You can't wear this to a fight, so please... just... please just change," he stuttered, shoving me into the room and shutting me in.
Abby gets changed.
Then she gets on his stupid motorcycle again while he drives dangerously. When they get there, Travis claims he can go his entire fight without getting hit. Abby calls bullshit. Travis offers to make a bet. He won't sleep with anyone for a month if he gets hit. If he doesn't get hit she has to continue living with him in his apartment for a month. I don't even have words to express how I felt when this stupid girl took this stupid bet, but she does. Travis wins. She must live with him. I think when you take away someone's constant choice to be with you then it becomes skeevy.
Shepley gets angry at Abby for the agreement because she promised not to get involved with Travis. Whenever Travis screws around with the best friend of the girl he's dating it ends badly for him. Of course, he doesn't fight with Travis or demand promises of Travis, no he screams at the girl. Abby insists there's nothing sexual between them and that there never will be. Travis comes out of the shower during all her insisting and gets annoyed. As revenge he goes to a bar, comes home at two AM with not one but two girls. He goes into the room where Abby is sleeping, fishes through his bedside table for some condoms and heads back out into the living room to have a threesome. She sits there listening to him giggling and moaning etc because she can't leave the bedroom without walking through the living room where his little threesome is going on. When he's finished, he kicks the girls out, and he gets back in bed with her reeking of whiskey.
She gets out of bed, steps over condom wrappers and sleeps on the reclining chair. In the morning, America acts like a real friend for the first time and packs Abby's things to take her home. Even Shepley is contrite. Travis wanders in during this conversation, having already been out to buy all of Abby's favorite foods for the month she will be staying with him. I'm going to pause and say gifts after emotional or physical abuse are part of a pretty common cycle. Abby stays because Abby is an idiot who insists a bet is a bet. Travis apologizes and hedges around letting her out of the bet. When Abby indicates it is the only thing keeping her there he holds her to it.
While she's living with Travis, Abby starts a tentative relationship with a boy named Parker who seems pretty decent. Travis responds as one might expect even though he has made no real romantic gesture towards Abby when she leaves a party with Parker.
He leaned in, seeming flustered. "I'll kill him if he touches you."
"I like him," I said, emphasizing each word.
He seemed stunned at my confession and then his features turned severe. "Fine. If he ends up holding you down in the backseat of a car, don't come crying to me."
Convenient how every guy except Travis is a rapist. Of course, Parker is not really a rapist. Travis is just insinuating it to scare Abby into going home with him. Because Travis is the safe choice. Vomit. Vomit. Vomit.
Parker behaves like a gentleman, kissing her cheek goodnight. Travis is waiting so close to the door that he opens it before she can push which causes her to fall in. He does this just about every time she goes on a date with Parker. The only exception, I believe, was when he drunkenly went down to the car where they were kissing and pulled her out of it.
The wheels of Parker's shiny Porsche squealed out of the parking lot, and Travis lit a cigarette. "You can go inside now, Mare."
She tugged on my skirt. "C'mon, Abby."
"Why don't you stay, Abs," he seethed.
I nodded for America to go ahead and she reluctantly complied. I crossed my arms, ready for a fight, preparing myself to lash out at him after the inevitable lecture. Travis took several drags from his cigarette, and when it was obvious that he wasn't going to explain my patience ran out.
"Why did you do that?" I asked.
"Why? Because he was mauling you in front of my apartment!" he yelled. His eyes were unfocused, and I could see he was incapable of rational conversation.
I kept my voice calm. "I may be staying with you, but what I do, and who I do it with is my business." (good for you, Abby!)
He flicked his cigarette to the ground. "You're so much better than that, Pidge. Don't let him fuck you in a car like a cheap prom date."
"I wasn't going to have sex with him!" (so much for it being her business.)
More vomit inducing craziness in which Abby accuses him of spying on her. He tells her he doesn't want to know about when she sleeps with Parker. She says that would be a big step for her. He says that's what all girls say. Abby says, "I don't mean the sluts you deal with! I mean me! I haven't... ugh! Nevermind."
Yes, she's a virgin so she really is different from all the sluts he slept with! Ugh is right. I think waiting for someone you're really comfortable with and really in love with is a good thing, but I also never felt superior to girls who felt differently about it. The girl on girl hate in this book is ridiculous.
After Travis humiliates Abby in front of her date, intimidates and threatens her date until he leaves, and laughs with delight and relief over her virginity he then attempts to drunkenly seduce her. Abby goes along with it. (This is where I felt a migraine coming on). The seduction stops because Travis doesn't want it to be like that between them. Lovely that the drunk Neanderthal calls all the shots.
I'm only at thirty percent of the book here and I only have 25% of the room left to review so I'm going to start doing some heavy condensing.
Creepy Things Travis Does:
1. He buys Abby a puppy for her birthday to keep at his apartment so that she will always have to come back.
2. He beats his friends to a bloody pulp in the school cafeteria for making sexual innuendos about Abby. In reality he would've got tasered by security. After several incidents he would've been kicked out of the university, but don't worry about reality in this book.
3. He lets Parker and the rest of the school believe he's sleeping with Abby to chase him away.
4. He refuses to allow Abby out of the bet even though he is strangling her healthy relationship with Parker.
5. Immediately after Abby and Travis sleep together he calls himself her last first kiss then he destroys the apartment and rages at Shepley and America for helping her leave when his words creeps her out.
6. After only a few weeks, he tattoos "Pigeon" on his wrist and a long Hebrew scripture quote about belonging to your beloved and your beloved belonging to you. Never has the word 'belonging' seemed so threatening.
7. Screams at her for accepting a drink from another guy because it could have roofies in it and besides, she's HIS GIRL, HE will buy her drinks. NO ONE ELSE.
8. Punches a guy who is touching her while her face is inches away from the guy's face.
9. Stalks her after a break up. Lies to his family about them still being together. Manipulates her into pretending to still be a couple so she'll cook dinner Thanksgiving dinner for his family. Kisses and has sex with her even though he's promised he wouldn't cross those lines again. (I'm not absolving Abby of her stupidity here either.)
10. Stalks her some more. Drags guys away from dancing with her. Threatens their lives if they go near her. Tosses her over his shoulder and drags her out of a party. Demands a designated driver take them to his apartment, drags her kicking and screaming out of the driver's car, tosses her in his apartment. Somehow they end up having sex. Don't fucking ask me. It grossed me out -- I can't stomach re-reading it.
Awful Plot Devices:
1. Zac Effron sing along. I read in another review that Travis had the charm to pull off a Zac Effron sing along. I thought this was meant to be an exaggerated comparison... it was not. He sings Rolling Stone's (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction in the school cafeteria with the football players as back up singers. This is really not a joke.
2. A trip to Vegas where Travis fights to win money so Abby can pay the debt her big time gambling father has transfered to her. Oh, did I not mention she is the daughter of a famous poker player?
3. Travis getting offered $100,000 per fight to continue fighting in Vegas. He decides to take the offer despite Abby's protests and then is shocked and a rage maniac when she breaks up with him because of it, despite knowing she wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle
4. A basement fire at fight club bought on by gas lanterns. Because people really use those anymore.
Don't worry! Everyone important lives. Because this is reality.
5. Abby proposes, they go to Vegas again to get married, she gets a tattoo that reads Mrs. Maddox and mentally refers to it as a brand several times.
Real Ways this Book Could Have Ended in Order to be Realistic and Send a Message:
1. Travis kills Abby in a drunken fit of rage over something she's wearing, saying, and/or doing. Travis spends the rest of his life in jail.
2. Travis kills some guy for interacting with Abby in a way he deems inappropriate. Travis spends the rest of his life in jail and either A. Abby visits him twice a week for the rest of her life or B. The guy's death serves as a wake up call for Abby and she spends the rest of her life far, far away.
3. Travis kills Abby and some guy in a drunken rage because he preceived a threat. Travis spends the rest of his life in jail.
I don't believe Travis is smart enough to get away with any of the murders because he usually doesn't see any reason to hide his awful behavior. He does everything in front of many, many witnesses every single time.
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I purchased this book several months ago because I planned on reading a lot of self-published books in 2012 as a reading project. I purchased it before I read the author's blog post berating negative reviewers. I would not have purchased the book had the post happened before the purchase.