This is Not a Fashion Story: Taking Chances, Breaking Rules, and Being a Boss in the Big City

by Danielle Bernstein

New York Times Bestseller"We Wore What's Danielle Bernstein Is Giving Us the Modern-Day Sex and the City With New Memoir"—E! A revealing (in more ways than one) tell-all from Long Island girl-turned-international fashion influencer, designer, CEO, and tech entrepreneur Danielle Bernstein, the creative genius behind the hit style platform @WeWoreWhat. Danielle Bernstein spent her youth shopping at discount department stores, getting boozy in suburban backyards and proposing marriage to every boy she dated. By age nineteen, she was a college dropout living in a West Village shoebox with three roommates and only six months to prove that her blog, @WeWoreWhat, could become a full blown career... or else board the train back to her mom's house. Flash forward ten years. Danielle is more than a famed influencer with over two million followers. She's also a bonafide business woman—a CEO, tech founder and fashion designer whose living a dream lifestyle that includes all-expense-paid luxury travel to Paris and Positano, skipping the velvet rope, and controlling her own destiny. Despite these successes, Danielle has never been your typical play-by-the-rules fashionista. She disrupted the fashion industry using her own playbook—one that she's finally ready to share with you, her readers.This Is Not A Fashion Story is the down and dirty tale of how a Long Island-born teenager became one of the most recognizable names in fashion. It's a story that proves success isn't about a college degree or how rich your parents are. It's about trusting your gut, knowing when to take risks and fighting to get what you want in life, love and business. But above all it's the story of how a young girl made in the concrete jungle that is New York City—and how you can too.

Genres: Fashion, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Business

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 12, 2020

Reviews

[Rebecca · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this book in two hours. Tried REALLY VERY HARD to find an ounce of relatability in this (memoir?) but she made it virtually impossible. I am shocked an appalled that a book was published in 2020 that speaks to the horrors of eating a carb the SAME DAY that you are to be seen in a bathing suit (could you imagine!)— oh but thank god she is now rich enough for lymphatic massage to alleviate that trauma!

It was painful to hear her describe how she worked her “Pilates-toned ass off” at one of the multiple internships in fashion her family helped her procure. And casually sprinkling in her dad getting her into fashion week at 14 without acknowledging the boldfaced entitlement. This was trite, boring, and full of more laughable lines than I care to transcribe into this review. The entire book was one prolonged humblebrag. SoHo house blahblahblah Justin Theroux blahblahblah hot Italian model...

I respect her transparency in what she does both for her brand and to give back to the community and I do think that she works very hard but I could have done without wasting my time on this. I would have appreciated if she divulged more on body image and her over the top photo editing that was called out years ago. With such a large reach, you’d think she’d nod to how harmful her poor body image may have been on others— especially those of us without life coaches!

[Lainey Molnar · Rating 1 out of 5]

I must say this is rather poorly written. She comes off as desperate, vapid, privileged beyond measure, narcissistic, and materialisic, because the entire book feels so staged. Like she wouldn’t let the writing guide her, she guided the writing to create her narrative. She should’ve meditated on that 9 year old Long Island girl and channeled her to write this book.

Her initial idea was to write about love affairs, but she didn’t stick to the plan. She didn’t tell the whole story of her business either, it was just a series of cherrypicked anecdotes that make her look good. She talks about learning life lessons and having all kinds of coaches, but she shows no signs of real depth. Even the chapters are supposed to signify lessons, but everytime they pop up randomly, they just seem equally vague and too specific, and overall very unrelatable. It feels like in her book (pun intended) vulnerability is talking frankly about sex and money. Ironically if she would’ve truly opened up instead of trying to write Millennial Sex and the City, she would’ve made herself a lot less vulnerable for criticism.

There’s a reason why people under 30 don’t usually write memoirs, I think it was too early to pull the trigger on this. Nevertheless, she has millions of fans to boost the sales figures of this book and leave enough five star replies to bury these humble opinions.

I was so excited for real values and a real story, but this is just a tale of an insecure little girl trapped in the body of a business mogul, crushed under the weight of trying to be good enough for everyone and herself, in the midst of the insane Manhattan materialism she lives and breathes.

[Lauren Mack · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m so sorry, but this was poorly written. Why wouldn’t an editor help with this!? I was so confused by that the whole time. But! I am impressed with the amount of cliches used. It was almost hard to understand at times because of the cliches. (And every other sentence is in parentheses). (Really). I should have known by the first line of the book, something along the lines of waking up next to a naked male model and deciding to write a book. (Give me a break).
A few of my favorite quotes:
“I worked my Pilates-toned ass off”
“Of course i immediately slept with the hottest senior”
“I was the youngest sorority girl blah blah blah”

She has such a powerful platform, and there is a way to share your success without sounding so snotty. I’m only half way through and don’t know if I’ll finish.

This book made me realize how immature she is.

[Lexi · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book should be called “this is not a struggle story” because wow! I can’t believe how the author sees her privileged life as anything but privileged. Sure she worked hard but everything was given to her from “family friends”. Boohoo she couldn’t buy a juicy track suit in high school. Yawn. I truly think the only reason she has as much of a following as she does is because she got lucky with timing. Save yourself. This book is exactly what you would expect it to be. Boring and another little rich girl from Long Island.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow, this book is poorly written. It feels like it wasn't edited at all. Dates were wrong in several places - "I left UW-Madison in May 2011" and then several pages later "at some point in the summer of 2010, Michael stopped being the sweet boy who'd encouraged me to leave Wisconsin". It's full of contradictions - "we would be given money to shop once per season and were required to get everything we needed in that single haul" - two pages later, "I'd go (to Macy's) alone, remain focused, and find a head-turning outfit for whatever high school party I was attending that weekend".

Danielle Bernstein writes in a way that feels alienating and fake - her text makes it seem like she wants to be relatable but the book is one of the most unrelatable I've ever read. She says that her early trips to department stores taught her that first-rate fashion can be found at any price point, yet she sells denim shorts for $120 and one-piece bathing suits for $200 on her website, and her blog posts cater to luxury resorts and overpriced lattes, so does she really cater to any price point?

Using phrases like "my Pilates-toned ass" and "it's just the kind of confidence my readers expect from me" are showoff-ish and braggy, like she's certain that she's better than her readers and followers. It seemed throughout that she is out of touch with reality and just lives in a fantasy world that most people will not ever achieve.

She glorifies materialism, vanity, and leading a privileged life. I don't recommend this book.

[Taylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am a long time follower of WWW, and I really don't like posting negative reviews, but this had to be done. I finished this in about 2 hours, and I regret purchasing it. This book is written like Gossip Girl for 5th graders. The style is too simplistic, and is poorly edited. While the aim may have been for it to feel like a chat between girlfriends, it ends up feeling like a long, disjointed, blog post. The book tries so hard to be charming and relatable, but ends up leaving a bad taste in your mouth with remarks about her "pilates-toned ass".

I'm also not fully sure the point of the book. It doesn't really offer any concrete help for those who are blogging, and not getting invited to the Chanel show isn't what I would call relatable.

I really like WWW and think she actually has enough life material to make for a good memoir, this just missed the mark.

[Valerie · Rating 1 out of 5]

No

[Ornella · Rating 1 out of 5]

A great, quick palate cleanser between reading real books. Danielle says she would trade both of her dogs for a seat at a Chanel fashion show- sad!

[Gabrielle White · Rating 1 out of 5]

In terms of grammar, spelling, and basic organization this “book” was a 0/5. However my biggest issue with Bernstein is that she is blatantly and vehemently so self-involved and entitled. Her “lesson” on owning up to mistakes was a joke. Not only did she not display any kind of sincere self-reflection, she actually left out three of what are arguably her BIGGEST mistakes throughout her career. You didn’t admit to photoshopping your pictures for yeeeaarrrsss (I get it we all love a good edit but this girl goes from a size 6 to a double 00 depending on whether you look at her Instagram or Getty images...look at Getty images). She actually got an Instagram account shut down for “bullying” her when all they were trying to do was post the original photos of what she actually looks like before she fully transforms herself into a different human being. It’s the responsible thing to do really. Instead of bragging about how you don’t eat carbs on a shoot day, I think it would have demonstrated so much self-awareness and self-LOVE to address your insecurities and body image issues, which is a topic that I believe is so important for women to share with each other so we can build each other up and promote body confidence. She never talked about the scandals surrounding “stolen” jewellery pieces, which included her knocking off small designers (ironic considering this book is all about giving small businesses/budding businesswomen advice on how to make it big in fashion??) nor about how she BULLIED a small business owner and fellow “fashionista” (@fashionwithouttrashin) for her own team’s mistake!! Seriously just look up any of these issues on Reddit and you’ll see what I’m talking about. This book was awful, entitled, bratty and so so shallow. :/

[Jenn Toghian · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, but it was a painful read. If it had been longer than 240ish pages I would’ve just given up. Chapter after chapter it was all just Danielle bragging. I suppose they were humble brags, but brags nonetheless.

The last few chapters made were just her talking about each one of her brands/ big collaborations and going on about how successful they were. No disrespect— it’s very impressive how successful she’s been—but I could have easily just read an article on her life and it would’ve been a better experience/ more interesting.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

I honestly don't know where to begin...

If you are looking for a book that describes the vapid influencer culture that has taken the world hostage - look no further that this treasure trove of a 'memoir.' I don't think I read one page that wasn't dripping with name drops of designers, exclusive NYC restaurants, and a revolving list of clubs so long it would make Stefon of SNL fame gag (and not in a good way).

I was a follower of Danielle's for a number of years. I say 'was' because after finishing this book I couldn't hit the unfollow button fast enough for her personal Instagram and all her affiliated brands. She makes zero mention that the reason she has such a large amount of followers on Instagram was because she purchased a large amount of followers when she started out, or the time she made a jewelry line and stole the designs from a lesser known designer to pass off as her own. She barely touched on how she would photoshop herself but (guess what) she's still doctoring her photos that take her from her normal and beautiful size 6 to a size 0-2.

I worry about her body image because this book is rife with pearls of wisdom like 'I ate carbs the same day I was going to be in a bikini!' 'I worked my Pilates toned ass off' and a few others. She also said she would trade her two dogs for a front row seat at Chanel during Paris Fashion Week.

The pacing, timing, and editing of the book is all over the place. I honesty don't know if her co-writer was asleep at the wheel or she was micromanaged and controlled by Danielle (by her own admission in her book she says she's too controlling) because as a writer myself I would NEVER be okay with something like this being published with my name attached.

The entire book was one long brag session and a complete lack of awareness at her astounding privilege.

The only pro I will associate with this book is the fact that I did not have to pay for it.

[Ella Roberts · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am both fascinated and in admiration of Danielle and her thriving career. I have followed her on social media for years and I am a fan of hers - her book is entertaining and enjoyable to read. It occasionally feels like she is trying a little too hard to to portray herself as an iconic, sex and the city-type character, but nonetheless her extensive metaphors and similes make for a more entertaining read. I do find the whole thing quite un-relatable and occasionally Bernstein’s entitlement was irritating (she fails to acknowledge that her father got her a 14 week internship yet bangs on about how she had to work her own way up). I think she may have been disingenuous when she said this book would be totally honest and speak about all aspects of her life, even the ugly bits. Although she discusses things like her failed shoe line, she makes no reference to big scandals like when she allegedly copied someone’s jewellery line. I understand she can’t discuss everything, but ignoring major career mishaps such as this means that this book, and Danielle, lack an authenticity which would’ve made inspiring. Like her confidence (or arrogance and entitlement, you decide) or not, she’s an impressive woman and there are many lessons you can learn by reading her book.

[Peach08 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Save yourself! Please don't do the audio book version of this. I am sure it was bad enough reading this on the page, but hearing Danielle read it was torturous! (I should have used my better judgement but I had an Audible credit and figured that was better than putting out money for the book). Not only was it like one long Instagram story, I was appalled at the number of mispronunciations that weren't corrected. Hey, Danielle, if you want to be invited to the Chanel runway shows so badly maybe you should have learned how to pronounce Lagerfeld.

[Bee · Rating 1 out of 5]

VAPID VAPID VAPID. Honestly. I don’t know how she can cal herself an author. This book is all about how Danielle thinks she’s gods gift to men and her privileged upbringing. Ok she’s wealthy. Ok she gets free sh** to post on Instagram. She has no talent. No originality. And any pre tween reading this thinking she is someone to look up to - I feel sorry for you.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Updated review
After learning a bit more about Danielle's track record with honesty, I doubt the veracity of a lot of this book. Danielle steals from small businesses and content creators, then lies about it and gaslights her followers. This book also has a suspicious dagger (†) from the New York Times.

Original review: 3 stars
After following Danielle on Instagram for ages, I was super excited for this to come out—it’s the only book I’ve ever pre-ordered in my life and I read it in a day and a half. It reads like Gossip Girl, the good and the bad. She lives a glamorous life most of us could only dream of, but she comes across self-centered and every other sentence is a brag. I was already inspired by her work speaking for itself; I didn’t expect to buy her book just to hear her tell me what a sexy go-getter she is over and over. That said, the OTHER half of the book was a salacious roller coaster. It’s very entertaining and her flippancy about some of the crazy stories made them even more humorous. My favorite parts of the book were learning about her design process with the overalls and swimwear.

Unfortunately, much of the book is dedicated to vapid materialism and body shaming herself, which makes me feel less good about following her now. She wants it to be relatable how she started from nothing and worked her butt off for everything, but that’s ingenuine when your companies were funded by “friends and family” and your dad gets you your first big internship. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I’m sure she DID work her “pilates-toned ass” off, but I don’t feel super inspired by that journey.

[Zoë Damacela · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok honestly I read this book hoping for some lighthearted stories about the fashion industry, but I was also hoping that she would shed some light into influencer culture. Obviously she is someone who has had her fair share of controversies, so I was really looking forward to hearing her POV on some of the major ones. This book was a major missed opportunity. She could have written about her photoshopping scandal and explained how growing up in front of millions of followers affected her body image. She could have written about what she learned from that experience and how she feels about her influence over her younger and more impressionable followers. But instead she came across as incredibly superficial, artificial, privileged, and out of touch while trying desperately to seem #relatable! I unfollowed her after I finished it.

[Noelle Sequoia · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is not... a book that should have ever been published. The editing is atrocious. There are spelling and grammatical errors in every chapter - a second grader could write better than this. I have followed her for a year or so and she seems to work really hard on all her endeavors, but whoever gave her a book deal needs to reevaluate their job. I don’t think I can look at her the same way after reading this.

[˗ˏˋ saoudia! ˎˊ˗ · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is kinda the first memoir i have ever read (i am not counting justin trudeau's book) and i don't really have a rating system in place for those kind of books yet. because... it's not a story? this is her real life. so who am i to say thsi felt like a 2.5 stars or a 3 stars or a 4 stars, etc.

BUT ANYWAY! i enjoyed this book. it was easy to read and to fly by. however, it did not feel authentic. it felt like it was romanticized a lot and just... not real. kind of like instagram, i guess lol.

danielle seems like a charismatic person and to learn how she built herself and her blog was inspiring but also really unrealistic to me, because i don't have her privileges. nevertheless, i am in love with new york city and this book gave alllllll the nyc feels.

[Kristy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is hot garbage. I am awestruck at how shallow and self centered a person can be. While the book was relatively entertaining at times, the nonsense about how she built her brand and worked so hard to get where she is, is painful to read. If you want to read a book about a self promoting and superficial millennial, go for it! But otherwise, do not waste your time or money on this book especially at this particular time in history where there are a lot more meaningful and enlightening books to be read.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was admittedly a hate-read, but it ended up being worse than I ever could have imagined. There was a time when I thought Danielle was a cool, interesting person, and I have to ask myself how that was ever possible. This is THE MOST vapid and self-congratulatory thing I have ever read. If her goal was to inspire or share tips on making it big, she hasn't. Instead, she has essentially published a contradictory and poorly edited diary, full of not-so-humble brags and name drops.

(I have literally never reviewed anything on Goodreads before but this made me so angry I had to get it out.)

[Jo Holo · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is pretty poorly written and lacks originality. Even worse, this book teaches a terrible message: it glorifies materialism, vanity, and judging others based on their wealth. If you have a younger child/teenager, I would not recommend you let them read this unless you want them walking away from it believing that their value in this world is reliant on how much money you make and what expensive things you can buy.

[Jessica Ivetich · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was...not great. In full transparency, I listened to the audiobook version read by the author, so it could come across better in print (and maybe there aren’t printed typos, but there were definitely glaring, audible errors from either a lack of proofreading or poor production).

After following @weoverwhat on Instagram, I wanted to evaluate the DB situation myself. Enter, this book. From the start, it didn’t seem to have a clear point. Part diving into her sex life, part exposing her parents divorce (and sharing the reason later even though she says she wants to “respect privacy”), part showing off her luxurious travel and brand, the work felt scattered, hanging by a thread called chronology.

When read aloud, this content comes across as incredibly privileged, whiny, boastful without an ounce of humility. Yes, I respect that the author faced her own struggles, but it’s impossible to view a Long Island girl whose dad paid her rent through a lens free of privilege. I honestly would have liked to dig into her tough journeys a bit more instead of listening to her mention them and brush them off to try and push her brand partnerships. The whole read seemed more brand-focused without the human element it needed. I felt like too obvious of a sale, and I for one and am not buying.

[Ali Peikon Solomon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very quick, entertaining, not so well written but interesting

[Susan Mallaney · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you don't follow @WeWoreWhat on Instagram, I'd be interested to know why you decided to read this book. She's a fun follow, but it seems a lot of people "hate follow" her. Regardless, you can't deny that she's been successful and has become more than just an influencer (although all of her companies are related to influences). Whether she had some family financial help along the way, so be it. She is not a trust fund kid -- she clearly highlights that in her book. Her successes are her own -- finding niches or filled holes where others did not. She's pivoted when needed and recognizes her failures. Something very astute of her to highlight in the book is how our professional and personal lives are intertwined. One does not exist totally siloed away from the other. Many of us use breakups and catapults to other successes. Danielle importantly notes that just because life looks Instagram perfect does not mean it always is. Something very important we remember in the age of the "perfect post."

[Maddie Reeg · Rating 1 out of 5]

It comes off as a really snotty person, who sure, worked hard but tells a story of privilege and right place right time. That coupled with the writing style itself - think one REALLY long blog post, with AWFUL similes, hyperboles, expressions etc.- made the book cringeworthy. It was interesting to hear what moments symbolized big breaks but over all this is just not a great read. Recommend borrowing through a library and saving your $.

[Kiki · Rating 2 out of 5]

like a crappy but kinda cute CW show
juice that was teased didn't deliver
camp memories are sweet
timeline was SOOO confusing i think she went back and forth but im not even sure

[Dorothy Minor · Rating 1 out of 5]

From Booktrib, www.booktrib.com, I received a copy of This is Not a Fashion Story by Danielle Bernstein in exchange for a fair, honest review. I don’t like being negative, but here goes! This is Not a Fashion Story did not appeal to me at all. I did read the book quickly; perhaps that is the plus side.

Do I want to learn about a young girl deciding to try sex for the first time at fifteen? No. Nor am I interested in “Elevator Hunk,” the handsome neighbor in the apartment building who shares Bernstein’s bed in the opening of the book. Her other sexual escapades also hold no interest.
Frankly, I was unaware of Danielle Bernstein and her so-called influence until this book crossed my path. Early in the book, Bernstein writes, “I am used to sharing the particulars of my life on WeWoreWhat, but my sex life…that had always been private.” She should have kept it that way.
She goes on to expound on that theory, though, to the contrary: “But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered why not bare it all? Why couldn’t I be an ‘influencer’ in the larger sense, helping to destigmatize casual sex for a new generation of women?” Really? This rationalization is just that---a rationalization. Women or men, for that matter, who wish to explore casual sex “divorce(d) from romance” need only their own approval to proceed.

The book is a self-indulgent look at nothing. It is badly written. Do not waste your time. Yes, I learned that Danielle Bernstein is “a famed influencer.” Frankly, that matters little to me. She may think she is controlling her own destiny, but it looks to me as if she will end up a bitter old woman living alone in her expensive NY apartment.

[Miki Yin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not a fashion story. This is just her story.

The story itself is intriguing and makes one feel like it must be done in one-setting. It's a good book for her followers to know more of her.

She opened herself up for her business come-about story and her personal life. Danielle is one of the persons I look up and feel amazed by. At such a young age, she created her brand and made her name in nyc. If you are a fan of her like me and/or follow her on Instagram and watch her story all the time, then this book is for you. It did what she want the book to be - for her followers to feel closer to her.


However I did feel like something is missing, hence the rating. But I am not sure what it is, yet.

[virginia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Meh

poorly written cliche ridden brag fest. Does not talk about actual successes in a teaching way but more of a gloating manner

[Jenny · Rating 2 out of 5]

We get it, already - you live in Manhattan, you bang hot male models, and you dress sharply.