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The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring the Trust, Lust, and Devotion of a Strong Woman
MEN, THIS IS SIMPLE.
If your relationship feels flat, contentious, or toxic, this book can help.
If you want to feel more powerful and be less of a pleaser Nice Guy, this book can help you.
If your partner seems to criticize more, have less interest in sex, or act in ways that feel “crazy” to you, this book can help.
Fighting or defending yourself doesn’t resolve anything. Withdrawing into work or your phone makes it worse. And contorting yourself to avoid conflict just kills her respect for you.
The answer is to develop and live from your Masculine core. This book shows you how in an actionable three-part Masculine Respond vs. React, Provide Structure, and Create Safety. This is not the old model based on control, but rather one based on clarity.
This is not a manual for Alpha Dogs, nor a fuzzy spiritual guide. It is a clear set of principles that help you develop your Masculine leadership.
In my experience, if you’re in any of these situations, your choice is simple. Either keep doing what you’re doing, and eventually watch the relationship die on the vine. Or grow. Period. This book shows you the way.And if you want to go deeper on this growth path, see The Art of Relational Masculinity video course.
If your relationship feels flat, contentious, or toxic, this book can help.
If you want to feel more powerful and be less of a pleaser Nice Guy, this book can help you.
If your partner seems to criticize more, have less interest in sex, or act in ways that feel “crazy” to you, this book can help.
Fighting or defending yourself doesn’t resolve anything. Withdrawing into work or your phone makes it worse. And contorting yourself to avoid conflict just kills her respect for you.
The answer is to develop and live from your Masculine core. This book shows you how in an actionable three-part Masculine Respond vs. React, Provide Structure, and Create Safety. This is not the old model based on control, but rather one based on clarity.
This is not a manual for Alpha Dogs, nor a fuzzy spiritual guide. It is a clear set of principles that help you develop your Masculine leadership.
In my experience, if you’re in any of these situations, your choice is simple. Either keep doing what you’re doing, and eventually watch the relationship die on the vine. Or grow. Period. This book shows you the way.And if you want to go deeper on this growth path, see The Art of Relational Masculinity video course.
302 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 26, 2019
376 people are currently reading
1562 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
July 28, 2022
you may not be the problem, YOU ARE the solution
1. don't play victim.
2. know that your woman is testing you.
3. put connection before your fear or your ego.
4. show your love, don't just tell it.
5. you will never take credit for your past good deeds with your woman.
6. you should know that you can usually ask for a “do-over”.
7. one of the most effective things you can do when dealing with your woman: accept her as your feminine 'oracle'.
1. don't play victim.
2. know that your woman is testing you.
3. put connection before your fear or your ego.
4. show your love, don't just tell it.
5. you will never take credit for your past good deeds with your woman.
6. you should know that you can usually ask for a “do-over”.
7. one of the most effective things you can do when dealing with your woman: accept her as your feminine 'oracle'.
August 7, 2020
The foreword by Dr. Glover appealed to me as a fan of his other works, and trusted his advice and I purchased the book.
The concepts of the book are sound. I agree with the self improvement of this book and there are definitely things that will make a man a better man. There are many ideas, details and examples on how to be a man that a woman loves and respects, as well as being a man in control of his life and his relationship.
My issues with the book isn’t the self improvement of the man, but the apparent lack of agency or responsibility of the woman in the relationship. The book reads as if the relationship is a zero-sum game that rests solely on the man’s shoulder. There is little to no coverage on the decisions of the feminine in the relationship; yes the man can set the mood or provide the security however the book doesn’t touch on how to get the man’s needs met. My interpretation is that if the masculine provides the love and security for the feminine to be, the feminine will meet the masculine’s needs and all will be happy. Ironically it seems more of a covert contract defined by Dr. Glover than it seems two people working toward a successful relationship.
Overall the book was okay. It felt longer than it needed to be. The relationship portion seemed as the masculine pandering to the feminine in order to “unlock” greater intimacy. I can see this being the truth for relationships that may have slightly lost its way, however not for one where the man is feeling unappreciated or unloved (I can’t say for the woman - the entire book is giving men examples on how to woo her).
The self improvements and being true to yourself portions I can get behind. There are portions of this book that emphasize being a better you, and by being a better you - you can lift up those around you.
The concepts of the book are sound. I agree with the self improvement of this book and there are definitely things that will make a man a better man. There are many ideas, details and examples on how to be a man that a woman loves and respects, as well as being a man in control of his life and his relationship.
My issues with the book isn’t the self improvement of the man, but the apparent lack of agency or responsibility of the woman in the relationship. The book reads as if the relationship is a zero-sum game that rests solely on the man’s shoulder. There is little to no coverage on the decisions of the feminine in the relationship; yes the man can set the mood or provide the security however the book doesn’t touch on how to get the man’s needs met. My interpretation is that if the masculine provides the love and security for the feminine to be, the feminine will meet the masculine’s needs and all will be happy. Ironically it seems more of a covert contract defined by Dr. Glover than it seems two people working toward a successful relationship.
Overall the book was okay. It felt longer than it needed to be. The relationship portion seemed as the masculine pandering to the feminine in order to “unlock” greater intimacy. I can see this being the truth for relationships that may have slightly lost its way, however not for one where the man is feeling unappreciated or unloved (I can’t say for the woman - the entire book is giving men examples on how to woo her).
The self improvements and being true to yourself portions I can get behind. There are portions of this book that emphasize being a better you, and by being a better you - you can lift up those around you.
August 21, 2020
I'm a woman
Men, if you've ever wished your woman came with an instruction manual... Congratulations, you found it!
Women, you need to read this too. It will actually help you understand yourself better. And understand your man as well. Then get your man to read it!!!
And to the men, not all women are as harsh as some of the examples in the book. If you find this to be true of your woman-keep her! She's a good one!
Men, if you've ever wished your woman came with an instruction manual... Congratulations, you found it!
Women, you need to read this too. It will actually help you understand yourself better. And understand your man as well. Then get your man to read it!!!
And to the men, not all women are as harsh as some of the examples in the book. If you find this to be true of your woman-keep her! She's a good one!
September 14, 2024
۲۵ شهریور ۱۴۰۳
صرفا چون رابرت گلاور پیشنهاد کرده بود خوندم.
کلی گویی خوبی کرد اما به صورت دقیق مطلب رو نرسوند.
صرفا چون رابرت گلاور پیشنهاد کرده بود خوندم.
کلی گویی خوبی کرد اما به صورت دقیق مطلب رو نرسوند.
December 22, 2019
GS Youngblood has a knack for hitting spiritual truths in relationships in a down-to-earth way. Being a speaker of relational work myself, I’m particular about which books I recommend to clients. THIS book is a fabulous read for men who desire to take leadership in relationship. Of course, that’s not the dynamic of choice for everyone in relationship and that’s okay — but if you want your feminine partner to be in her relaxed, carefree giggly spirit (the thing that probably magnetized you to her in the first place) get this book and learn these skills. They’ll change everything.
July 23, 2022
I had the urge to vomit several times while reading this book. For sure, there are many useful guides inside there. I just hated the way how all this was framed, kind of "do like this and you'll get sex". I think there's much more to feminine and masculine polarity than just that.
What I was missing the most was the switching between feminine and masculine energies and a pointer to how to learn time by time which energy is more useful in certain circumstances. Feminity in men was completely left out for me.
As the book tries to make "men" more comfortable to accept their masculinity, I experienced it quite overshooting - although I see that this is hot point today.
In general I'd recommend other resources in that topic that don't narrow down like this and choose a broader approach.
What I was missing the most was the switching between feminine and masculine energies and a pointer to how to learn time by time which energy is more useful in certain circumstances. Feminity in men was completely left out for me.
As the book tries to make "men" more comfortable to accept their masculinity, I experienced it quite overshooting - although I see that this is hot point today.
In general I'd recommend other resources in that topic that don't narrow down like this and choose a broader approach.
December 26, 2020
A wonderful guide to returning to your masculine core...
This was an absolute treasure for a guy who suffered from "Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome". It is a practical guide to returning to your masculine essence and I plan on reading it numerous times as,the author suggests. I highly recommend this book.
This was an absolute treasure for a guy who suffered from "Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome". It is a practical guide to returning to your masculine essence and I plan on reading it numerous times as,the author suggests. I highly recommend this book.
April 27, 2024
Hands down genius! As a sex therapist, I work with individuals and couples and commonly discuss many of the topics outlined in this book. I truly think every man should read this. Go into it with an open mind and you’ll leave with an open heart. This book reflects healthy masculinity. I’ll be going through and highlighting many parts of this to further support my clients. Men who want to be better lovers, partners, parents, workers, etc, this book is step 1. Step 2 is implementing the words written here. 🖤
September 28, 2025
Good concepts that are misconstrued from what feels like his past mistakes in his first marriage. Can easily misguide many men to “control” their women. Has example of gaslighting his wife he describes as successful “diffusing” the situation.
May 7, 2020
What no one else will say
GS spells out the absolute fundamentals men need for a good relationship. No hype, no BS, just the truth. This is a must read for anyone who wants a good relationship with a woman.
GS spells out the absolute fundamentals men need for a good relationship. No hype, no BS, just the truth. This is a must read for anyone who wants a good relationship with a woman.
August 25, 2024
I am in awe on how well this author gets women - at least women like me. No joke, every man who is or wants to be in a relationship with a woman, NEEDS to read this book. Plain and simple. Full 5 stars without a question ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
February 14, 2021
Barring the title which is a little off putting this is hands down the best relationship book I’ve ever read. Everyone should read this.
June 23, 2025
Sorry GS, you missed the mark with me.
It's really too bad that I hated this book so much, because there are a lot of excellent foundational truths in here. The core principles—1) Respond vs. React, 2) Provide Structure, and 3) Create Safety — are brilliantly concise and well-explained. His suggestions for getting out of your head and into your body are genius. (I'd heard of several before, but many were new.) I love that he recognized that men and women are indeed different (shocker!) and we need to understand each other to create any kind of healthy relationship. I have long felt that men are hard-wired to protect and preside; GS seems to agree with me. It's also true that - as a woman - I am more attracted to my husband when he leads with confidence; I am capable of leading, but I get tired of it, and I would love to be more in my "Femininity," as GS puts it. I was also floored with his description of anxiety: like radio static played on full blast, blocking out all emotions. Wow, he nailed that. His provocation meditation was an interesting suggestion; I tried it and I definitely found value in it. I intend to continue practicing. And I'm always a fan of authenticity; he urges his male readers to just admit they're angry already - don't try to mask it or push it down. Own it, work through it, and move on. I am the mother of six incredible boys, and I, too, urge them to own masculinity with pride and power.
Yet despite all this - I really did hate the book.
He bundled all this truth into a truly heinous package. He repeatedly bleats that he means no offense to women. And yet - he's EXTREMELY offensive to women.
Here's a direct quote, page 239:
"The Feminine is moody. You might even say that the Feminine is "crazy," particularly when she is ranting and raving at you. .... In those times, she may seem scary and impenetrable."
The next page reassures that underneath it all, there "lies an inner child, a little girl that just wants her Daddy to protect her and take care of things."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, this entire book, for all its wisdom, is constantly framed within the context of LEADING YOUR WOMAN to be the"sex kitten" she really actually wants to be. The book instructs us that there are only two reasons women don't want to have sex: she's not feeling loved, and she's tired of unskilled sex.
Wow. Just wow.
Never mind that this beautiful blueprint (again, Respond vs. React, Provide Structure, and Create Safety) is just the mark of a decent human being. ANYONE can use those principles with ANYONE they come in contact with - a parent, a child, a neighbor, a cashier, a coworker. All of these fantastic mental health tools will make you a better PERSON! Leading and confidence and empathy and emotional honesty are part of becoming HAPPY. Sure, they'll probably make you a better lover too. But that should be far down the list of motivations - not the primary one.
My favorite part is when GS tells his (male) readers that strong women may oppose his ideas. His advice? Just don't tell them. I kid you not.
Makes me wonder if "his woman" has read this book. (Ooooo, that grated on me so bad. He says he doesn't mean to use that term possessively, but ... that's the literal grammatical definition of the phrase.)
And hey, GS? Secrecy is the primary hallmark of manipulation and toxic control.
It's really too bad. I mean, I know I'm just a raging lunatic female, so he'll never read my review with any kind of open mind, but I sincerely wish that he would deliver his (very good!) message with the pure intent of improving people's personal happiness, rather than their sex lives.
It's really too bad that I hated this book so much, because there are a lot of excellent foundational truths in here. The core principles—1) Respond vs. React, 2) Provide Structure, and 3) Create Safety — are brilliantly concise and well-explained. His suggestions for getting out of your head and into your body are genius. (I'd heard of several before, but many were new.) I love that he recognized that men and women are indeed different (shocker!) and we need to understand each other to create any kind of healthy relationship. I have long felt that men are hard-wired to protect and preside; GS seems to agree with me. It's also true that - as a woman - I am more attracted to my husband when he leads with confidence; I am capable of leading, but I get tired of it, and I would love to be more in my "Femininity," as GS puts it. I was also floored with his description of anxiety: like radio static played on full blast, blocking out all emotions. Wow, he nailed that. His provocation meditation was an interesting suggestion; I tried it and I definitely found value in it. I intend to continue practicing. And I'm always a fan of authenticity; he urges his male readers to just admit they're angry already - don't try to mask it or push it down. Own it, work through it, and move on. I am the mother of six incredible boys, and I, too, urge them to own masculinity with pride and power.
Yet despite all this - I really did hate the book.
He bundled all this truth into a truly heinous package. He repeatedly bleats that he means no offense to women. And yet - he's EXTREMELY offensive to women.
Here's a direct quote, page 239:
"The Feminine is moody. You might even say that the Feminine is "crazy," particularly when she is ranting and raving at you. .... In those times, she may seem scary and impenetrable."
The next page reassures that underneath it all, there "lies an inner child, a little girl that just wants her Daddy to protect her and take care of things."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, this entire book, for all its wisdom, is constantly framed within the context of LEADING YOUR WOMAN to be the"sex kitten" she really actually wants to be. The book instructs us that there are only two reasons women don't want to have sex: she's not feeling loved, and she's tired of unskilled sex.
Wow. Just wow.
Never mind that this beautiful blueprint (again, Respond vs. React, Provide Structure, and Create Safety) is just the mark of a decent human being. ANYONE can use those principles with ANYONE they come in contact with - a parent, a child, a neighbor, a cashier, a coworker. All of these fantastic mental health tools will make you a better PERSON! Leading and confidence and empathy and emotional honesty are part of becoming HAPPY. Sure, they'll probably make you a better lover too. But that should be far down the list of motivations - not the primary one.
My favorite part is when GS tells his (male) readers that strong women may oppose his ideas. His advice? Just don't tell them. I kid you not.
Makes me wonder if "his woman" has read this book. (Ooooo, that grated on me so bad. He says he doesn't mean to use that term possessively, but ... that's the literal grammatical definition of the phrase.)
And hey, GS? Secrecy is the primary hallmark of manipulation and toxic control.
It's really too bad. I mean, I know I'm just a raging lunatic female, so he'll never read my review with any kind of open mind, but I sincerely wish that he would deliver his (very good!) message with the pure intent of improving people's personal happiness, rather than their sex lives.
November 6, 2024
This book offers a modernized blueprint for a man as a benevolent leader in a relationship. The author argues that leadership in a relationship requires three components:
1. Responding instead of reacting (choosing your reaction instead of mindlessly employing old dysfunctional behavior patterns).
2. Providing structure (setting up a functional framework for life, communication, and problem-solving).
3. Creating safety (providing a safe material and emotional environment).
I see this book as a guide for emotionally immature men (like me) to deal with emotionally immature women with a bit of spiritual coating on top (complementary emotional dysfunctions redressed as gender energy poles). The author rightfully explains that it’s up to you, the leader, to give the relationship ship the right direction:
I interpret this idea as follows: Since you’re the internalizer in this relationship (obviously, since you picked up this self-help book), you must grow up and become a loving daddy for your partner, helping her mature with you indirectly. The path to becoming more grounded is to practice embodiment (martial arts, meditation, breathing exercises, etc.) and learn to accept emotions.
I find it surprising (and deeply satisfying) how many of the communication tactics intersect with advice on dealing with little children (see How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, for example) and how clear the relationship problems become when seen through the lens of emotional immaturity (see Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents).
1. Responding instead of reacting (choosing your reaction instead of mindlessly employing old dysfunctional behavior patterns).
2. Providing structure (setting up a functional framework for life, communication, and problem-solving).
3. Creating safety (providing a safe material and emotional environment).
I see this book as a guide for emotionally immature men (like me) to deal with emotionally immature women with a bit of spiritual coating on top (complementary emotional dysfunctions redressed as gender energy poles). The author rightfully explains that it’s up to you, the leader, to give the relationship ship the right direction:
Whether or not you’re the problem, you’re the solution.
I interpret this idea as follows: Since you’re the internalizer in this relationship (obviously, since you picked up this self-help book), you must grow up and become a loving daddy for your partner, helping her mature with you indirectly. The path to becoming more grounded is to practice embodiment (martial arts, meditation, breathing exercises, etc.) and learn to accept emotions.
I find it surprising (and deeply satisfying) how many of the communication tactics intersect with advice on dealing with little children (see How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, for example) and how clear the relationship problems become when seen through the lens of emotional immaturity (see Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents).
July 5, 2023
I just had the surreal experience of reading a book that felt 100% written specifically for me. Every chapter was totally relatable as he wrote about what it means for a man to be (or not be) fully in his masculine as a leader in the relationship with his woman. I’m talking verbatim describing relationship experiences I’ve been through, reactions I’ve had, thoughts I’ve thought, well-intentioned but misguided behaviors I’ve modeled, and the “results” of all of those things. It was incredibly accurate for me, at times seeming uncanny, which is why I know the blueprint for masculine relationship leadership he lays out is a life changer and left me feeling very empowered and capable.
I’m also finishing this book and writing this review as 4th of July firework booms and pops echo through the foggy San Francisco night sky, and it’s not lost on me that the universe might also be celebrating that I found this book and that it has inspired me to grow and to take action. I reached out to the author immediately after the first chapter, and it turns out he offers coaching sessions on his blueprint. I can’t wait to start those to ensure book knowledge turns into real and reliable muscle memory and solidify the masculine leadership qualities and habits that I as a man want to permanently embody.
In a nutshell, his masculine blueprint consists of three main pillars: 1) Respond instead of react, 2) Offer direction and structure, and 3) Create emotional safety. Now, the individual aspects of this framework are not necessarily original to the author, and not necessarily new to me as I’ve read all of the books the author references (Way of the Superior Man, 5 Love Languages, No More Mr. Nice Guy to name a few) that talk about them. But he just has a way of making all that information feel so real and relatable both with his down-to-earth writing style and by mixing in a lot of his own personal experiences in relationships. And he’s ultimately very supportive that the growth that a man is looking for in himself and in his relationship is right there in that framework. 5 stars, awesome book.
I’m also finishing this book and writing this review as 4th of July firework booms and pops echo through the foggy San Francisco night sky, and it’s not lost on me that the universe might also be celebrating that I found this book and that it has inspired me to grow and to take action. I reached out to the author immediately after the first chapter, and it turns out he offers coaching sessions on his blueprint. I can’t wait to start those to ensure book knowledge turns into real and reliable muscle memory and solidify the masculine leadership qualities and habits that I as a man want to permanently embody.
In a nutshell, his masculine blueprint consists of three main pillars: 1) Respond instead of react, 2) Offer direction and structure, and 3) Create emotional safety. Now, the individual aspects of this framework are not necessarily original to the author, and not necessarily new to me as I’ve read all of the books the author references (Way of the Superior Man, 5 Love Languages, No More Mr. Nice Guy to name a few) that talk about them. But he just has a way of making all that information feel so real and relatable both with his down-to-earth writing style and by mixing in a lot of his own personal experiences in relationships. And he’s ultimately very supportive that the growth that a man is looking for in himself and in his relationship is right there in that framework. 5 stars, awesome book.
June 5, 2023
While only giving 3 stars, this is a great resource for men and I recommend it to all men. This, combined with follow on works, can put you in an amazing place to keep your woman attracted to you.
Why I took stars off as a great resource:
1. The major one is that it's incomplete and the author used the book as a way to sell future works. Several times the author says he doesn't have this worked out yet, it'll be in a follow-up work. I don't appreciate being sold half ideas.
2. He goes on example adventures. He'll often give upwards of five examples of an idea. I often found myself taken out of the listening mindset and annoyed.
3. Maybe this is the proper English and I'm being petty, but the use of the word "relationship" as both an adjective and state of being mixed in and just saying "in relationship" or "of relationship" instead of "in a relationship"...it really grinded on me. Even if this is the proper use of the word, no one speaks like this and it again takes you out of the mindset.
4. I listened to the audio. The author should not have read the work. He constantly puts emphasis on words by audibly stretching them out where it makes no sense and stumbles on words constantly. It's like he just did a quick one time read so he could move onto those unfinished ideas left open ended in the book.
5. He also points you to his online work. While the content is probably pretty good, his prices are comically high. If I had to guess, I'd say he feelss like he is just catering to the wealthy so he has that elite feel about himself.
Why I took stars off as a great resource:
1. The major one is that it's incomplete and the author used the book as a way to sell future works. Several times the author says he doesn't have this worked out yet, it'll be in a follow-up work. I don't appreciate being sold half ideas.
2. He goes on example adventures. He'll often give upwards of five examples of an idea. I often found myself taken out of the listening mindset and annoyed.
3. Maybe this is the proper English and I'm being petty, but the use of the word "relationship" as both an adjective and state of being mixed in and just saying "in relationship" or "of relationship" instead of "in a relationship"...it really grinded on me. Even if this is the proper use of the word, no one speaks like this and it again takes you out of the mindset.
4. I listened to the audio. The author should not have read the work. He constantly puts emphasis on words by audibly stretching them out where it makes no sense and stumbles on words constantly. It's like he just did a quick one time read so he could move onto those unfinished ideas left open ended in the book.
5. He also points you to his online work. While the content is probably pretty good, his prices are comically high. If I had to guess, I'd say he feelss like he is just catering to the wealthy so he has that elite feel about himself.
April 24, 2025
Top Takeaway
There is a space between stimulus and response and it is in that space where growth takes place
A WOMAN IS LOOKING FOR MASCULINITY WHERE SHE FEELS SAFE AND SEEN
Do not withdraw when she comes at you with her emotions. Lean in and help guide her back to her heart.
MASCULINE FRAMEWORK;
LEARN TO RESPOND INSTEAD OF REACT
Do not defend, instead hold space for them to share their thoughts and opinions
Do not look to please others, instead keep a calm energy and share truth, knowing that some may appreciate it and others may not but that’s OK.
Do not hide your sexual desires, instead share openly and do not feel rejected if she declines.
PROVIDE SAFETY
PROVIDE A STRUCTURE
YOU DON’T GET THE RADIANCE WITHOUT THE CRAZY
POLARITY
You must stay grounded to be open to her crazy
DON’T BLAME, INSTEAD SHARE YOUR VULNERABILITY AND FEARS OPENLY.
SHARE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING AND THEN STOP TALKING.
Emotions do not need to be defended.
EXAMPLE, I AM SO ANGRY BECAUSE YOU DISMISSED ME AND WHEN YOU DO THAT, I DON’T FEEL IMPORTANT TO YOU AND IT SCARES ME.
ALLOW HER TO FEEL WHAT SHE FEELS AND DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
HEAR HER PAIN BEHIND THE WORDS AND CREATE THE SAFETY FOR HER
There is a space between stimulus and response and it is in that space where growth takes place
A WOMAN IS LOOKING FOR MASCULINITY WHERE SHE FEELS SAFE AND SEEN
Do not withdraw when she comes at you with her emotions. Lean in and help guide her back to her heart.
MASCULINE FRAMEWORK;
LEARN TO RESPOND INSTEAD OF REACT
Do not defend, instead hold space for them to share their thoughts and opinions
Do not look to please others, instead keep a calm energy and share truth, knowing that some may appreciate it and others may not but that’s OK.
Do not hide your sexual desires, instead share openly and do not feel rejected if she declines.
PROVIDE SAFETY
PROVIDE A STRUCTURE
YOU DON’T GET THE RADIANCE WITHOUT THE CRAZY
POLARITY
You must stay grounded to be open to her crazy
DON’T BLAME, INSTEAD SHARE YOUR VULNERABILITY AND FEARS OPENLY.
SHARE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING AND THEN STOP TALKING.
Emotions do not need to be defended.
EXAMPLE, I AM SO ANGRY BECAUSE YOU DISMISSED ME AND WHEN YOU DO THAT, I DON’T FEEL IMPORTANT TO YOU AND IT SCARES ME.
ALLOW HER TO FEEL WHAT SHE FEELS AND DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
HEAR HER PAIN BEHIND THE WORDS AND CREATE THE SAFETY FOR HER
November 23, 2024
This is the only audiobook I’ve ever returned. The content lacks any credible evidence or scientific backing. The author delves into vague notions of “energies” and repeatedly emphasizes feelings in a drawn-out, almost theatrical way, often saying things like “feeeeel this or that,” which felt more manipulative than meaningful.
Moreover, the book presents an outdated and problematic view of relationships, implying that the responsibility for maintaining harmony lies solely with men. Women are portrayed as reactive and almost devoid of agency, which is both reductive and offensive. The suggested solution for dealing with a neurotic partner is for men to train their nervous systems to tolerate her through breathing exercises. By this logic, if a man is abusive, the advice would be for the woman to simply build her tolerance instead of freeing herself from a toxic situation.
Overall, this book perpetuates harmful stereotypes and offers impractical advice rooted in pseudoscience. I cannot recommend it.
Moreover, the book presents an outdated and problematic view of relationships, implying that the responsibility for maintaining harmony lies solely with men. Women are portrayed as reactive and almost devoid of agency, which is both reductive and offensive. The suggested solution for dealing with a neurotic partner is for men to train their nervous systems to tolerate her through breathing exercises. By this logic, if a man is abusive, the advice would be for the woman to simply build her tolerance instead of freeing herself from a toxic situation.
Overall, this book perpetuates harmful stereotypes and offers impractical advice rooted in pseudoscience. I cannot recommend it.
May 12, 2025
This book is illustrative to the polarity that is the natural dance between feminine and masculine energies in a relationship.
It highlights the contrast of the feminine to the masculine in specific, and common scenarios. It also helps you to understand the breakdowns in those moments.
For myself, I started to see where I was not using my masculine energy to provide clarity and structure in my relationship. It made sense of the otherwise confusing upsets that can occur, and what is said in those upsets.
For example, when there is a lack of clarity in your relationship regarding household duties, leaving the situation without any structure can leave each person feeling like they are alone.
This book is not about “being more manly” or “getting ur partner to *insert word here lol*”.
It’s about realizing a side of you that can be developed through practice and presence. This book is about leadership in the context of a relationship. Just like the title says.
I would recommend this book to any man entering a marriage or newly married!
It highlights the contrast of the feminine to the masculine in specific, and common scenarios. It also helps you to understand the breakdowns in those moments.
For myself, I started to see where I was not using my masculine energy to provide clarity and structure in my relationship. It made sense of the otherwise confusing upsets that can occur, and what is said in those upsets.
For example, when there is a lack of clarity in your relationship regarding household duties, leaving the situation without any structure can leave each person feeling like they are alone.
This book is not about “being more manly” or “getting ur partner to *insert word here lol*”.
It’s about realizing a side of you that can be developed through practice and presence. This book is about leadership in the context of a relationship. Just like the title says.
I would recommend this book to any man entering a marriage or newly married!
February 26, 2021
A useful guide and introduction to the ways of dealing with what the author calls "The feminine". There is a lot here to say for men and the masculine in these current times. I admire the challenge uptaken by the author. I personally felt in places that it was difficult to find the lines between "The feminine" and stereotyping women. However, there is plenty of opportunity for introspection as a masculine presenting man in the world. For example dealing with the emotional pain of conflict with your significant other. Or identifying feelings of sexual shame as a man, understanding where the shame comes from and how to address it through introspection and outside help.
A good read, and topical in the current society which does, quite rightly, expect a certain acknowledgement of the damage that the patriarchy has had on the world. It reframes and suggests a new notion of western masculinity.
Brave from G.S Youngblood.
A good read, and topical in the current society which does, quite rightly, expect a certain acknowledgement of the damage that the patriarchy has had on the world. It reframes and suggests a new notion of western masculinity.
Brave from G.S Youngblood.
August 4, 2024
WHAT A GREAT BOOK if You are in a relationship with a bit too masculine woman and want to give her the greatest gift of being led by a strong man (and oh yea, of course she wants it). I’d listen to more books from this author about masculinity, but he has no other ones :) While I did find myself agreeing with everything and found myself doing most of those things, I still managed to write down pages of notes. I’d be as brave as saying 99% of men in relationships are not up to the task of being a REAL man to their women, and should listen to this book many times over. Oh, and this book is 100% ethical, there is no manipulation nonsense, nor is there any bad intent - but only to love, and guide the women more into their softer side by being a strong leading man in the relationship, and this of course includes how to be sexually dominant etc. As the author says, “hope is not a strategy!” :)
August 3, 2023
Great book on masculine/feminine polarity and how to be a man in today's age. Really helped me be more aware and start to unlearn some poor habits I've picked up over the years as someone who loves to give and make others happy (but who used to be a total people-pleaser who puts others in front of myself)
Great tips and guides for masculine in relationship on how to lead and how to "handle" certain aspects of the feminine that may not usually feel easy to handle, but also how to be to encourage the feminine to fully feel comfortable and safe settling into their fullest feminine (without feeling like they need to shift into their masculine all the time)
Highly recommend it for anyone looking to connect more with their masculine, especially as it relates to their relationships with others who are primarily feminine
Great tips and guides for masculine in relationship on how to lead and how to "handle" certain aspects of the feminine that may not usually feel easy to handle, but also how to be to encourage the feminine to fully feel comfortable and safe settling into their fullest feminine (without feeling like they need to shift into their masculine all the time)
Highly recommend it for anyone looking to connect more with their masculine, especially as it relates to their relationships with others who are primarily feminine
November 2, 2024
This is a fantastic book focusing on relationships and how you can take on more accountability and leadership, through action, communicating and ultimately being more masculine.
This book highlights a lot of interesting ideas like the concept of polarity which is the dance between the Masculine and the Feminine.
The book also breaks down the primary elements of a masculine core: 1. respond vs react, 2. provide structure and 3. create safety.
Ultimately, the book shows how you may or may not be the problem of the dynamic but you can be the solution which I really like the idea of being able to always change the situation into a positive by taking accountability and through leadership which is what the feminine desires.
There is so much information that I have underlined in this book, I will definitely be returning to it again.
This book highlights a lot of interesting ideas like the concept of polarity which is the dance between the Masculine and the Feminine.
The book also breaks down the primary elements of a masculine core: 1. respond vs react, 2. provide structure and 3. create safety.
Ultimately, the book shows how you may or may not be the problem of the dynamic but you can be the solution which I really like the idea of being able to always change the situation into a positive by taking accountability and through leadership which is what the feminine desires.
There is so much information that I have underlined in this book, I will definitely be returning to it again.
March 10, 2024
I struggle with some of the possessive language GS uses in this book. “Your woman” is littered everywhere. But he doesn’t use it in a possessive way; it’s just my cultural feminist upbringing.
Anyway, it’s worth pushing past any discomfort there, because I think there’s a lot of gold here. A lot of truth. About how to be the best man you can be.
My first introduction to this kind of work was through Jennifer Finlayson-Fife’s Art of Loving course. It was excellent, but it is lacking in some of the practical tips. This book has been very useful to extend my knowledge there. The stuff on embodiment and training your nervous system to deal with intensity is particularly relevant for me.
I’m planning to do some of his online training next, and his MIR Bootcamp. Good stuff.
4.5/5 stars
Anyway, it’s worth pushing past any discomfort there, because I think there’s a lot of gold here. A lot of truth. About how to be the best man you can be.
My first introduction to this kind of work was through Jennifer Finlayson-Fife’s Art of Loving course. It was excellent, but it is lacking in some of the practical tips. This book has been very useful to extend my knowledge there. The stuff on embodiment and training your nervous system to deal with intensity is particularly relevant for me.
I’m planning to do some of his online training next, and his MIR Bootcamp. Good stuff.
4.5/5 stars
April 13, 2025
Amazing book! This really helped me understand so much about how a feminine works and how she is all about her feelings rather than the logic of a masculine.
I took so much from this book! This is a must read if you are a masculine in a relationship with a deep feminine woman who has experienced pain in past relationships and wounding from childhood.
I appreciate the insights the author shared throughout and know to keep my heart open and to receive what is given to me and to reflect on my actions and not make them about a feminine.
We really are 2 very different energies in a deep concious connection. Learning to keep my masculine heart open is a must in times of adversity.
I am thankful to have the knowledge i do which i know i will keep with me and use in my life going forwards.
I took so much from this book! This is a must read if you are a masculine in a relationship with a deep feminine woman who has experienced pain in past relationships and wounding from childhood.
I appreciate the insights the author shared throughout and know to keep my heart open and to receive what is given to me and to reflect on my actions and not make them about a feminine.
We really are 2 very different energies in a deep concious connection. Learning to keep my masculine heart open is a must in times of adversity.
I am thankful to have the knowledge i do which i know i will keep with me and use in my life going forwards.
March 31, 2022
This book isn't just for men, though it is absolutely targeted at those raised to be masculine. As a cis-woman, I learned a lot about masculine and feminine energy by reading this book. I learned that I've been very much in my masculine for a long time, and got a picture of what being in my feminine might look like.
I urge feminine partners who read this not to force it on their partner but use it as a source for new language to communicate what we need.
Youngblood's work isn't revolutionary in the "silver bullet" kind of way, but is life changing in the "keep it simple" kind of way. The work required to return to polarity is hard but it's not complicated like we make it out to be.
I urge feminine partners who read this not to force it on their partner but use it as a source for new language to communicate what we need.
Youngblood's work isn't revolutionary in the "silver bullet" kind of way, but is life changing in the "keep it simple" kind of way. The work required to return to polarity is hard but it's not complicated like we make it out to be.
September 14, 2023
I think this book is really well done, even tho its target audience is male. He acknowledges that masculine and feminine are not gender, it’s energy and we all carry both. As a female identifying and feminine leading, I really appreciate the narrative here. Doesn’t mean I don’t use my masculine in partnerships, I do. But I lead more feminine. This book provoked some tough, but healthy and productive conversations with my partner. Feminine is chaos, with gifts of creation, truth-telling, surrender and processing emotions. Masculine is order, structure and safety. This is the narrative of masculine leadership. Not misogyny.
September 26, 2023
An easy and quick one as it wasn’t exactly a complex book. I obviously am aware that I was not the target audience for this (as I am not a man) but was curious to see what men were learning as two men in my life were reading this. Safe to say, I’m quite torn about this one. I think definitely there are some very insightful parts to the book and was relieved to see it was not a massively misogynistic view on masculinity. Nevertheless, there were also definitely parts I did not particularly like (specifically parts like ‘any truly feminine woman is crazy’ which I strongly disagree with). This is why I think 3 stars is fair.
September 28, 2021
Deep practical wisdom to help men become attractive
A lot of the problems of relationships, especially nowadays where men and women are not only more and more equal but also the same, are addressed here. The book offers deep understanding of the problems we men are facing in relationships, such as depolarization, neediness, unclarity, etc, that turn women off. And offers actionable solutions to these problems.
A lot of the problems of relationships, especially nowadays where men and women are not only more and more equal but also the same, are addressed here. The book offers deep understanding of the problems we men are facing in relationships, such as depolarization, neediness, unclarity, etc, that turn women off. And offers actionable solutions to these problems.
May 17, 2023
Reading this book helped me get clarity around my relationship with my partner. It helped me see past patterns that hadn’t worked and allowed me to make changes that have helped me really show up in a way where I can lead my partner from my masculine core and enjoy her feminine come out as a result. There is a wealth of information in this book that can help a man step into a truly intimate and deep relationship with his partner.
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