Separation Anxiety

by Laura Zigman

From bestselling author Laura Zigman, a hilarious novel about a wife and mother whose life is unraveling and the well-intentioned but increasingly disastrous steps she takes to course-correct her relationships, her career, and her belief in herself

Judy never intended to start wearing the dog. But when she stumbled across her son Teddy’s old baby sling during a halfhearted basement cleaning, something in her snapped. the dog went into the sling, Judy felt connected to another living being, and she’s repeated the process every day since.

Life hasn’t gone according to Judy’s plan. Her career as a children’s book author offered a glimpse of success before taking an embarrassing nose dive. Teddy, now a teenager, treats her with some combination of mortification and indifference. Her best friend is dying. And her husband, Gary, has become a pot-addled professional “snackologist” who she can’t afford to divorce. On top of it all, she has a painfully ironic job writing articles for a self-help website—a poor fit for someone seemingly incapable of helping herself.

Wickedly funny and surprisingly tender, Separation Anxiety offers a frank portrait of middle-aged limbo, examining the ebb and flow of life’s most important relationships. Tapping into the insecurities and anxieties that most of us keep under wraps, and with a voice that is at once gleefully irreverent and genuinely touching, Laura Zigman has crafted a new classic for anyone taking fumbling steps toward happiness.

Genres: Fiction, Audiobook, Contemporary, Humor, Chick Lit, Adult Fiction, Book Club

284 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 3, 2020

About the author

Laura Zigman is the author of five novels, including Separation Anxiety (which was optioned by Julianne Nicholson and the production company Wiip (Mare of Easttown) for a limited television series); Animal Husbandry (which was made into the movie Someone Like You, starring Hugh Jackman and Ashley Judd), Dating Big Bird, Her, and Piece of Work. She has ghostwritten/collaborated on several works of non-fiction, including Eddie Izzard's New York Times bestseller, Believe Me; been a contributor to the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Huffington Post; produced a popular online series of animated videos called Annoying Conversations; and was the recipient of a Yaddo residency. Her sixth novel, Small World, will be published in January 2023. She lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh did I enjoy reading “Separation Anxiety” by Laura Zigman. First, there is a woman carrying a dog in a baby Bjorn sling on the cover. I have a 135-pound Bernese Mountain Dog; I look with envy at all those tiny dogs that could fit in a purse. I’m aging out of the huge dog thing, although I LOVE/ADORE my 135-pound bear. I can relate to holding a small dog at my chest. I believe dogs are the best stress relievers out there. But I digress, the story is, yes, about a woman who chooses to wear a dog and benefits from wearing her dog, even though her husband and son wither in embarrassment.

Our narrator, Judy, is a 50-something mother of a teenage son. Teddy used to adore his mommy and now he wants her to disappear, as all teen boys do. Judy’s husband Gary is an under-employed, anxiety-ridden pot smoker who lives in the basement because they cannot afford to get a divorce. He’s a “snackologist”. He keeps businesses supplied with snacks.

In Zigman’s hands, the bleak story is almost a madcap comedy. Zigman can look at a pitiful situation and see the bright side. For example, Teddy attends a Montessori school in which the headmaster wears clogs and starts the morning meeting with the peace gong, which ignites an all-school scrum to determine who bangs the peace gong. It’s funny in her prose.

I chuckled through the story. This is a fun entertaining story that will take you away from your daily frustrating life. This is a story that illuminates the funny side of life. I highly recommend it for those times that your reality needs a bit of an uptick in humor.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Giveaway win! (p.s. It came with dog treats)

Contemporary A Thon

I...don't know what to say about this book....I'm uncertain of what the purpose of this story was. I guess the writing was well done because I felt about as anxious reading this book as the character in the book was. I can't say I had a pleasant reading experience because I was so anxious while reading it....but maybe that's how I was suppose to feel.

Judy the main character was so anxious and insecure that I kind of disliked her. I know how anxiety feels because I suffer from it also but.....GOD! Was it irritating to live in her brain.

I don't recommend this book but I also don't necessarily think its a bad book. It just wasn't for me.

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, Netgalley and Harper Collins for sending me a digital ARC, in exchange for an honest review.

"Separation Anxiety" by Laura Zigman had the right amount of heart and humor I look for in a quirky novel. The protagonist, Judy is a 50 year-old wife and mother who feels like she is losing stability in her personal and professional life. Judy used to be a successful author of children's literature, and her marriage is anything but wedded bliss. She can't afford to divorce her pot-head, anxiety-ridden husband, Gary. She also feels her relationship with her 13 year-old son, Teddy is becoming distant and strained. And her best friend, Glenn is terminally ill. To cope with all her stressors, Judy finds an old baby sling in the basement and spontaneously decides to wear her dog, Charlotte at home and out in public. The dog becomes like a security blanket for Judy. Definitely an unhealthy coping mechanism by all means.

I really felt Judy's anguish and agitation throughout the entire story. She has become an embarrassment to her husband and son. She tries her best to get her life back on track, but she stumbles and fails at every turn. Judy also had a topsy-turvy relationship with her deceased mother who always made her feel inferior and weird for being different. Judy suffers from a lot of self-esteem issues because of her mother's constant judgment and rejection. A lot of reviewers are complaining that Judy is self-pitying, but I found her relatable and painfully human. But seriously, who wants to read about a fictional character who is safe and perfect? Not me. The more damaged the better. There is a strong sense of hope and determination in the second half so it's not a total downer. I chuckled a few times. I liked the humor. Very sarcastic and delightfully neurotic. I was completely smitten in Judy's kooky little world.

Release date: March 3, 2020

[Ron Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

The light from Laura Zigman’s new novel, “Separation Anxiety,” is generated by a kind of literary nuclear fusion: an intense compression of grief and humor. The combination of those elements usually produces cynical black comedy, something witty and bitter, but Zigman’s work is too tender for that.

“Separation Anxiety” is a long-awaited comeback for this clever writer who hasn’t published a novel since “Piece of Work” in 2006. A series of personal tragedies, including the deaths of her parents and her own cancer diagnosis, swept Zigman into what she calls “so many dormant years.” But now, she’s transmuted those struggles into a new book — a “second chance” — about a once-successful author whose world is collapsing under the weight of disappointment and fear.

When we meet the narrator, Judy Vogel, she’s been deflated by a steady leakage of optimism. Years earlier, she had published a classic children’s book that became a PBS series — a thrilling, lucrative success that led to exactly nothing else. At 50, she’s mourning the loss of her parents, nursing her best friend through the final stages of a deadly illness and longing for the happy rapport she once enjoyed with her son, who has drifted into “brutal teenage opacity.”

What’s worse, Judy is trapped in a zombie marriage. It’s over between her and her husband, but he can’t afford to. . . .

To read the rest of this review, go to The Washington Post
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entert...

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best of the year, for me.

[Judy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Judy is using the family pet dog as a comfort animal and is carrying it around with her everywhere she goes in a baby sling. She and her husband are separated but living in the same house. The husband has panic issues which makes it hard for him to pursue his creativity in music. Judy had written a very popular childrens book in the past, but now has writer's block since her past two books were not received well. Both Judy's parents have died recently, and now her best friend is dying.

This book was, I think, supposed to be an insight into mental illness and may have been trying for humorous and witty. For me it missed the mark. The story was very sad, but the characters seemed unbelievable to me and didn't win my heart. I really felt sorry for the child though.

Thanks to Harper Collins Publishers through Netgalley for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

In “Separation Anxiety” author Laura Zigman expertly crafted a significant novel of marriage, motherhood and crippling anxiety. The story was narrated in the first person by a former bestselling children’s author—Judy was convinced she was a failure. The successful follow-up book she was supposed to write never materialized, she and her husband Gary were considering divorce, and their teenage son Teddy was no longer the little boy that loved hanging out with Mom.

While Judy was de-cluttering her basement, she felt obligated to consider the stuff that no longer brought her “joy”. These items included Teddy’s baby clothes, though the baby sling could easily be re-purposed. To help ease her anxiety issues, Judy decided to carry the family’s Mini Sheltie “Charlotte” around in the sling. To Judy’s thinking, this was a form of therapy and better than the ineffective marriage counseling she and Gary had tried. Judy worked as a content writer for “Well-er” a health and happiness website that only seemed to increase her feelings of low self-esteem and uncertainty. It didn’t help that she was grieving the loss of her mother to cancer and coping with the fact that her best friend would also likely succumb to cancer in the near future.

The severity of Judy’s depression and anxious loop of over analyzing everything about her life made her character totally unlikeable: she mostly blamed her unhappiness on Gary—and it was painfully obvious the man should have been nominated for sainthood for putting up with her! Gary suffered from an anxiety disorder himself, with little or no support from his wife. As the story progressed, Gary, to Judy’s surprise, was a big hit with the ladies at a wellness retreat they attended. However, during the retreat, she and Gary quietly snuck away in the middle of the night after Judy’s weird behavior that led to an incident of property destruction.
This is really an original and unique story with the “dog therapy” (in a sling) theme. The power and pull of anxiety, the projection of blame with the impact of disorder that affected nearly every aspect of marriage and family life, makes this an unusual yet realistic and highly compelling novel. **With thanks to the Seattle Public Library.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Still catching up here on books I read earlier this spring. I love Laura Zigman's work and I was so grateful to see her return earlier this year. Here's a lovely story of a woman on the verge of falling apart -- her parents dead, her marriage crumbling, and her career largely derailed -- and so she takes comfort where she can. . .by bringing her beloved dog, Charlotte, with her wherever she goes in a baby sling. These days? We could all use a dog in a sling.

[Jenna]

DNF. This is not the book for me. I am so grateful to the publisher for sending this book my way. I did request it. Upon reading the synopsis I was intrigued. I remember at the time I had just finished reading Holly Banks Full of Angst and was really craving another fun and quirky book. This one upon first glance seemed to fit that bill.

I don't believe any author or publisher ever puts out a book that they are not proud of. This DNF is not in any way trying to insult either of them. I believe this book has a certain target audience that does not include myself.

I could not connect or relate to the main character in any way and that is very important to me.
I will not be rating this book.

It is not bringing me joy so I must let it go.

[Sheena · Rating 2 out of 5]

I literally only wanted to read this book because of the dog on the cover. That being said, the dog is barely mentioned - just the fact that Judy is wearing her dog in a baby sling. We don’t get to hear much about the dogs personality or anything and that’s what I wanted!! Anyway, this book was kinda pointless and I didn’t find it humorous at all. Every character in fact, annoying and sad.

I AM SO TIRED OF EVERY BOOK DISAPPOINTING ME I might not be meant to read this year or something.

[SueCanaan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Separation Anxiety is marketed as a hilarious novel about a wife and mother whose life is unraveling. Let's stop right there - aside from a VERY OCCASIONAL ha, this book is not hilarious. There was little in here that made me laugh, or smile, or be glad I'd stumbled on this book. My initial delight was I'd stumbled onto an Erma Bombeck (you young folks won't get this) wife and mom who made every mundane part of her life amusing. Like literal laugh out loud reading her column in the paper newspaper delivered to our house by a bike riding kid. Back in the day.

Separation Anxiety gave me anxiety. I disliked the main character. Really. I really disliked her. I didn't care about her problems. I didn't like her choices. She was dull. She made my head hurt. I felt bad for her one kid that she clearly couldn't parent.

Please learn from my mistakes. Don't. Just don't unless you want to hear a lot about secret poopers, stoned parents, a lonely kid, puppets, ugh.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was intended to be an insightful, witty look at mental illness, marriage troubles, and midlife happenings. Unfortunately, it missed the mark. I couldn’t connect with the characters and the storyline crept along too slowly for my tastes. I was hoping for more depth, more emotion, more SOMETHING. I didn’t care for the characters and wanted to shake them. This unfortunately didn’t work for me but others have left it glowing reviews so I may be the oddball here. 🤷‍♀️ Thank you to the publisher for the advance reader in exchange for my honest review.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seeing Laura Zigman’s name on a novel after so many years, actually made me very happy. I remembered her extremely clever book, ANIMAL HUSBANDRY, from many years ago. The moment I received the ARC from Netgalley, I eagerly read it.

Happily, I was not disappointed. This is about a family in crisis, not a sudden crisis, but years worth of pain, misunderstandings, loss and writer’s block. It’s the story of Judy who had early success in writing and is now blocked and her husband Gary, paralyzed by his own anxiety.

Somehow, Judy finds solace by wearing her dog in a baby sling. As someone who has trouble falling asleep without the melody of my cat purring in my ear, I got it! I was engaged by every moment of their journey and struggles.

This is a special novel, funny and poignant. It is very well done and a total page turner for me. It speaks to marriage, child rearing and the political correctness of progressive education. I can’t wait to share this with my book clubs. I know everyone who reads it will be drawn into Judy’s orbit and be cheering her on.

Of course, I suspect that Judy and Laura have a lot in common. Well, bravo and good wishes to both of you. Thanks Netgalley for allowing me to be an early reviewer.

[Ms.pegasus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anxiety is just a speed bump, a temporary setback, we tell ourselves. Of course it never feels that way at the time. This is how author Laura Zigman creates her distinctive amalgam of relatable grief and parodic humor.

She introduces us to Judy Vogel, seriously hollowed out by loss. Both of her parents died slowly of cancer within the past five years. Now, her best friend Glenn is on that same route of decline. Her career has been stalled for a long time. After initial celebrity with her children's self-esteem book, what she calls her "embrace your weirdness manifesto,” writer's block has derailed her creative impulse. She is now 50. Her son Teddy is transitioning from voluble childhood to tight-lipped adolescence. Her husband Gary was once a musician. He too has been derailed. An anxiety disorder severe enough to warrant prescriptions for both Klonopin and medical marijuana has been worsening. His current job is to supply the assortment of snacks to an office of twenty-somethings at a high-tech startup. Hard to find any room for humor here, but that is exactly what Zigman gently offers.

Judy confronts her situation with self-deprecating conviction: “Life eventually takes away everyone and everything we love and leaves us bereft. Is that a sad lesson? That's the only explanation I have for why I now wear the dog; my version of magical thinking; little tiny cracks are forming inside me every day and only the dog is keeping me from falling apart.” (p.8) She is literally wearing the dog. She carries it nearly everywhere in the long ago baby shower gift of a sling she unearthed from the basement.

Zigman's take on Cambridge, Massachusetts is pitch perfect. The Vogel family clings to the house they bought in better times, alternately embracing and wryly critiquing the town's progressive-intellectual ethos. They are financially stressed, but not wolf-at-the-door stressed. Their son Teddy is in middle school, but still attending Morningside Montessori where a peace gong chimes daily to express a peace and kindness mantra with the aggressiveness one might expect from a preschool. Parent participation is, of course, not merely encouraged but expected. As the narrative unfolds, the Vogels will shelter members of the Puppet People, a troupe of costumed and masked performers who decline to break character even when off stage. There will also be an ill-considered trek to a rural retreat conducted by an online creative coach whom Judy has been following. The tuition credit for hosting the Puppet People is handily offset by the steep cost of the creativity jump-start workshop which Gary decides at the last minute to attend along with Judy. In between is a half-hearted stab at couples counseling. Both Judy and Gary are veterans of the drill. Like conspiring pranksters, they sabotage the session with eye rolls, private jokes and deflections. Inevitably, the subject of Judy's book, “There's a Bird on my Head,” comes up. Predictably, the therapist is drawn by curiosity to Judy's writers block, disregarding the irony of her inability to accept her own “weirdness.” On the contrary, the therapist struggles to fit the couple into an easy classifying box.

Zigman leaves two jokes for her readers to discover on their own. “Vogel” is German for bird (recall the title of Judy's book). Later, a repurposed book of poetry by Emily Dickinson turns up. Gary recites, only half-ironically: “'Hope' is the thing with feathers/ That perches in the soul/And sings the tune without words/And never stops – at all.” (p.39) It is a succinct appraisal of their current married state – half in, half out. He lives in the finished basement, euphemistically referred to as the “snoring room,” a subterfuge for Teddy's benefit.

Zigman provides a near perfect balance of serious grief and humor in the novel. Glenn's illness and close relationship with both Judy and Gary keeps the humor centered on the genuine pain and perplexity of the characters. This was the selection of our local book club. The blurb does not do it justice.

[Aisling · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of those books that points out the absurdity of real life. Like looking through the distortion of a microscope, you can actually get a clearer picture. Zigman's portrait of a woman in a difficult patch in her marriage, and coming to terms with having a teen in the house as well as the invisibility of being in her 40/50's is shown through her daily life dealing with a new school, a dying friend and some performing artists that come to stay for a few weeks. Despite being wacky as hell, this is a very relatable book. It's a touching look into marriage, age, relationships, death and the magic of dogs. This is funny and touching in the vein of a Man Called Ove.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a longtime Laura Zigman fan, loved Animal Husbandry. This is not only her best book yet, it is THE best book yet. Seriously, I laughed and was so sad when it was over. I plan to buy it for everyone when it comes out!

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Separation Anxiety in one sitting and then I had my own separation anxiety when I had to put it down. Have always loved Laura and her books but this is the BEST!

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had a hard time relating to the narrator in the beginning. She is extremely self-absorbed and feels sorry for herself to the point of being maudlin. Judy has spent the last few years seeing her parents through long illness and death. Now her best friend is dying of cancer. She's "separated" from her husband, but living in the same house because they can't afford separate housing. Her thirteen year-old son is separating himself from her by talking to her very little and refusing to be cuddled. Judy desperately needs somebody to cuddle. So she begins to carry her twenty pound dog in a baby sling. Everywhere. Even to her son's school programs.

Some of the reviews call Separation Anxiety hilarious. There is humor, but to me it was more like the chuckle, nod your head, I've been there kind of humor. The kind of humor we use to get us through the hard times. Judy encourages us to smile with her, not laugh at her. Very well written, with a positive ending.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review
Overall, I enjoyed this book but I had issues with how mental illness was portrayed. I did like that it shows how beneficial dogs can be for improving mental health although the fake service dog issue has really gotten out of hand in today's world that I feel it hurts the legit people who have trained service animals. As far as mental illness was portrayed, I feel like it was trivialized and felt bad for Gary to be struggling so much.
There were some funny moments and some very sad moments too and other than what I've stated above, I did enjoy this book.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Separation Anxiety is so real. I felt like my best friend was on the phone telling me her latest crazy stories. It is such an uplifting, funny, and truth revealing read. It spoke to me in unique ways. There was something about it that felt like she was peering into my own deranged thinking! Some days really feel like everyone else is the angry dog mob and I’m the only one seeing it my way! The story echoes for me a line I read recently in another book, “Sometimes saving someone else is how we save ourselves.”

[Marilyn Rothstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Congratulations Laura Zigman

I was happy to see a new book by Laura Zigman, a beautifully written, honest, heartfelt story about marriage, family and how we see ourselves.

[disco · Rating 3 out of 5]

Separation Anxiety will give you a lot to think about in terms of "non-traditional," but will not elude to much character growth. In fact, each person seems to recede.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a weird delight! It had everything I didn't get from Radiant Shimmering Light and Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine though the theme here had elements of both. The narrator, Judy, as the title implies, is dealing with the awkward separation from her husband while also having a hard time spending time away from their dog, Charlotte���which she takes to wearing on her person in a sling typically meant for a baby. She and her husband can't afford to actually separate legally or physically so Gary has taken to sleeping in the "snore room" (the basement). They're trying to keep up appearances for their son Teddy even though Gary's crippling anxiety and reliance on pot are both hard to hide.

So in the meantime, they each are working part-time jobs just to keep themselves afloat. Though once a successful children's book author, Judy has severe writer's block which set in after her last couple of books flopped. She's known for writing about the bird on your head because when communicating with her late mother, Judy often felt like she was looking at her daughter as if there were a bird on Judy's head. It was a huge success, developed into a tv show, and praised as a manifesto for the honest oddness living in many of us. And yet, Judy now finds herself as a middleaged woman, invisible to many until she blurts out the wrong thing and receives a grimace or a glare reminiscent of that which always made her think there's a bird on her head.

In a desperate move to keep Teddy in his private school, Judy agrees to house the visiting artists, People Puppets, in order to have their next month's tuition fee waived. This means that she and Gary will have to share a bed again, and might even have to talk about the state of their marriage. They go a few times a year to couples' counseling, but as is their way, they often get fed up with the process and leave early. Judy won't have sex with Gary and she accepts her accidental celibacy even as Gary refuses to just give up on them. The cherry on top of her increasingly stressful & miserable life is that her only longtime friend and editor Glenn is dying, and soon. Amidst everything, she spends $900 she doesn't have on a weekend retreat held by an influential social media creative guru with the hope that the workshops will force her to get back to writing. After months of wearing the dog everywhere, she leaves Charlotte and Teddy at home with the People Puppets, and she and Gary drive into what is sure to be an interesting time away.

Over and over Judy proves how easy it is to say the wrong thing, alienating herself from her family and strangers alike. It's a pleasure to follow her not just because of how awkward she is but how relatable it is to have so much going on and willingly ignoring it all in order to spend time alone with her dog hoping her insecurities will soon fall away and she can once again be seen for the successful woman she once was. It's laughable and cringeworthy and perfect.

[Sharon M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many thanks to NetGalley, Harper Collins, and Laura Zigman for the opportunity to read her new book. I read Animal Husbandry years ago and remember loving it. This was a solid read for me - kind of a lighter-hearted view of real anxieties and issues.

Judy is 50 years old. She has lost both her parents and her best friend is dying from cancer. She wrote a best-selling children's book years ago that was turned into a series, but her attempts at writing since then have fallen flat. Her teenage son, Teddy, is pulling away from her. Her husband, Gary, suffers with his own debilitating anxiety issues that have caused him to not be able to fully engage in a satisfying job. The couple sleep in separate areas now and consider themselves separated but can't afford a divorce. As Judy was going through boxes in an effort to tidy up, she found an unused baby sling she received as a gift when Teddy was born. Missing comfort, she ends up putting their dog in the sling and carrying her around.

Lots of real life issues here as we age, change and try to be happy. Would make an interesting book club read with the right group of friends and wine!

[Deirdre Rosenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not the kind of book I normally read, but I was really intrigued by the cover. As it turns out, I adored this book. It was funny, sad and very relatable. It is a book about loss and hope and love. I was crying my eyes out by the end and appreciate this book for what it is. The simplicity of it mixed with the unease of some of it really stuck a cord with me. This book is not as light as the cover would have you believe and that is a good thing.

[Elena · Rating 2 out of 5]

while there wasn't anything particularly wrong with this book, it completely and utterly missed the mark for me. I didn't like the characters, the plot bored me, and... yeah. I dont have much to say because I cant even bring myself to hate the book - it's just so completely meh.

[Rissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️
Separation anxiety⭐️
We start with an old baby strap that Judy then decides to put her dog and walk around the house. Judy then cant stop walking around the with her dog pressed to her chest. Her family is moving on withiut her- her son longer needs her, her husband and her are separated- but the dog and her, the dog wont leave.
Shes trying to live life but what she doesn’t realize is that keeping that security blanket aka “the dog on her chest” she wont be able to fully live life and get over the other failings all around her.

[Abby Carson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I mean...yikes

[Cedricsmom · Rating 3 out of 5]

All’s well that ends well, but I’m still giving it only 3 stars.

[Megan]

DNF at 20%