Oh, bless Nicole Byer.
I read this book in one sitting. That's not exactly an impressive feat, but I was not expecting to when I sat down for some reading time. You could browse this like a coffee table book, or you could devour it like I did. I recommend the latter. With a beer. And maybe a snack.
I cannot remember a time when I did not have body image issues. Compared to those around me, I was the "fat kid." For the most part, I lived with it. On bad days, I kicked boys in the shins. Even now, in my 30's, I still struggle despite the fact that I changed my habits and am not the size I used to be (full disclosure, I fluctuate between 135-140). By many people's standards, I am not fat. But I will always be that person who go mooed at in elementary school, the kid who got picked to the anchor for a tug-of-war because all the others expected my weight to get them the win, the one who felt I had to wear tankinis and one-piece suits because I had fat rolls where my friends were flat. I look in the mirror and I don't see someone who's a healthy weight. It's very hard for me not to see the fat.
So, I seek out self-help for those types of things. And way too many of them use the language that Nicole poo-poos in this book -- the "trying to be helpful/positive but ultimately shaming you" comments. What we really need, for those of us with body issues, is something like Nicole to be the best kind of honest - Look in the mirror and see that fat, and acknowledge that this is my body and accept what you see. Yeah, if you have the power to change it and want to, go right ahead! But before those changes happen, it doesn't mean you can't be happy. And if don't want to change, that's fine, too! Love yourself for what you are. Repeat after me: "I am a badass bitch. Everybody is a different body; the one I have now is amazing. If I want to change it, I can, but for now, this is it, and this is perfect."
Other things I highlighted (and I never use that function on my kindle)
-Your worth isn't dictated by whether someone's attracted to you. (I needed to hear that, and I need to repeat that to myself more often)
-Why not encourage kids to be the healthiest they can be in the body they choose to be in?
-[T]he world can be so cruel, so why not at least be nice to yourself?
I greatly understood her comments on finding a fitness that made you feel good. If you just work out for the weight loss, you're likely going to burn out. Nicole talks about her pole dancing, which is amazing. I know I don't have the muscle for that. I found Zumba (which Nicole mentions as a bad experience, oh well), and while I like that it helps me maintain my weight, it's also super fun! I love dancing. And it keeps my heart happy and healthy :).
The photo shoot she includes is amazing. I enjoyed going through her fun bikini adventures and applauded how she rocked them all, and looked incredibly happy doing so. She interjects with a couple stock photos of your standard bikini model, and I know she kind of meant it to just be a joke. However, it said so much more. I was busy taking in Nicole's pictures, and then I saw the woman that media and society wants me to be.. I thought, "Yeah, she's pretty, but why does her lack of body fat make her more beautiful than Nicole? How does it this picture not make me beautiful, too?" Well, it didn't. I was so proud of my brain, which doesn't help me out often.
Sure, I still have room for plenty of growth when it comes to looking at myself with pride and happiness. But Nicole finally provided a brand of self-help that promises results. For the record, I do own a couple bikinis. And when I go to the beach, now I'm not going to think twice about taking off that cover-up.