Not Broken

by Lyn Hemphill

Rose Pereira is drifting through life when she’s first introduced to Stare at the Sun, an up-and-coming indie band led by the puppy-eyed Harley. The energetic group pulls her in, and she finds herself living for the first time in ages. Especially when she meets a friend of the band, Max, a trans guy. With his bizarre sense of humor, his gorgeous arms, and the way he talks about music, Max is a danger to her don’t-care attitude. He’s her best friend, in her corner no matter what, he makes her laugh, and he gets her. Even when she screws everything up, Max is on her side. Pregnant with Harley’s baby, she absolutely can’t be in love with Max. Rose is not in love. Because if you don’t fall in love, then you can’t get broken.

Genres: Romance

240 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 28, 2019

About the author

Lyn is Kenyan born and bred but now lives in Oxfordshire with her partner and two children, who like to help her come up with some more outlandish plot points. She writes every spare moment she can find, in between teaching science online and developing screenplays with her writing partner Aloïs Castel.

Reviews

[pipsqueakreviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Can a woman not have maternal instincts?

Hemphill will lose some good ratings for this politically incorrect book but I like how she breaks gender stereotypes when it comes to parenting. Society has double standard expectations and women are assumed to have maternal instincts. Women can’t distance themselves physically from a pregnancy but they can walk away once the baby is born. Rose has an arrangement with Harley that excludes Rose from being a parent and I respect that. Rose has been clear about where she stands but people struggle to understand this and she has to repeat herself over and over until I’m frustrated for her because is it really so difficult to comprehend that not all women want children? And I hate when Rose has to question if she’s broken for not feeling it.

Many readers will also have problems with Rose’s negativity which makes her a dislikeable character but a real one. Yeah, she isn’t a ray of sunshine but I empathise because if I were guilt-tripped into carrying a baby I don’t want for a guy I don’t love, I’ll be nasty for nine months too, plus hormones. I think Hemphill tries to justify Rose's personality by throwing in a tragic past that includes being born in Timor Leste, an entirely random country most people don’t even know exists unless they live in South East Asia.

There’s a love story for Rose and it’s with a trans man called Max. His identity isn’t important to the plot but it’s my first novel that involves a transgender individual and I learnt a bit about gender dysphoria. It’s something I’m admittedly not familiar with but I’ll read up. Max is sweet and I enjoyed his character though I think he and Rose need more time to build their relationship which was overshadowed by this pregnancy. But at least Rose does grow to accept herself and her feelings for Max.

I received an ARC from Bold Strokes Books through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Gabriella · Rating 4 out of 5]

This had a rocky start for me, but by the end I was cheering for the characters. Hemphill includes many positive portrayals, including a lovely transgender man, a woman with no parental instincts whatsoever, and a man whose greatest joy it is to be a nurturing parent. Personally, I thought this was less of a romance and more of a contemporary fiction novel about the three aforementioned characters and how they are, as the title says, “not broken.”

I wasn’t the biggest fan of the writing style at first; I found it a bit choppy and I had to go back and reread sentences that didn’t make much sense. Also, time frequently flies by in this book: I was often left thinking, “What? It’s been that long already?” I had a hard time connecting with Rose at first, finding her to be just annoying (however this changed, which I’ll discuss later). Rose makes a new group of friends early on in the book, and I did question a few times how they put up with her and how she ended up fitting into their group so seamlessly (but maybe that’s my cynical socially-anxious-outcast brain talking).

About a third of the way through, though, this became a much more enjoyable book for me. Rose’s unlikability became rather hilarious at times, and I connected with her more as I learned more about her. She’s not a terribly nice person, but she does care about her friends in her own way and makes an effort to be a good person while learning from her mistakes. I loved her portrayal as a woman without any maternal instincts whatsoever, and in this regard I felt incredibly seen. On the flip side, we have Harley, whose actions I didn’t always agree with, but whose portrayal as a sweet, tender man with strong parental instincts made me happy. Rose’s friends are hilarious and sweet for the most part, and it’s so satisfying when they call Rose out on her problematic actions. Rounding out the cast of characters, we have the women Rose meets at the NCT, who represent many different kinds of soon-to-be-mothers.

Max, the love interest, is a dream. He’s so kind and fun and sweet and I love that he’s a farmer with his loyal gay best friend, Jamie (I mean, how cute is that?). At first I thought that Max and Rose would be unequally matched, but as the story progressed and I saw how they fit together, I started to really ship them. Their conversations and banter are equally sweet and hilarious! Hemphill explores many trans issues that Max faces and she does it with grace (though some scenes may be hard to read about, including one outing scene that might not have been completely necessary).

Overall, I’m glad I read this book and I will be looking forward to reading more from Lyn Hemphill.

content warnings: alcohol, bi-erasure, guilt, hospitalization, non-graphic sex, pregnancy, slut shaming, parental disowning, transphobia, misgendering, outing, deadnaming, mentions of parental loss due to drunk driving

I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

(Buddy read with Hsinju!)

[Hsinju Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Content warnings: pregnancy, mention of parental deaths, gender dysphoria, alcohol, HP reference, outing, transphobia (including deadnaming and misgendering), mention of disowning, infertility, bi-erasure

I don’t think I have ever read an m/f romance with a trans main character, and I am very happy with Hemphill’s Not Broken. While the story doesn’t seem to revolve around the relationship but more about Rose’s (Timorese-British) journey of being pregnant while becoming a better person, I love the main theme of staying true to oneself, which is evident in all three main characters—Rose, Max (trans), and Harley (Black, American).

Writing an unlikable main character is not easy; they have to be real enough and yet not so awful that they turn out to be unredeemable. Hemphill created a very balanced and entertaining character in Rose, who is certainly not a great person in the beginning of the story but very human. She is brash to everyone, uses Harley for sex, and insensitive about trans issues. But what is so wonderful about her character arc is that while she never becomes a super nice person—that would’ve been very shocking—she makes an effort to learn and grow. And in real life, I think that is ultimately what matters.

I love the rejection of maternal instinct, the stigma single fathers face, and also mentions of gender dysphoria. Rose never wants children and always has safe sex, but somehow gets pregnant anyway. She wants an abortion but Harley practically begs her to be his surrogate instead. Everyone keeps telling Rose that she will grow to love the baby but she honestly doesn’t want anything to do with it. We see through the characters’ interactions that even though it is obvious that Harley is the one being extremely excited about having a child, almost everyone still assumes the “mother” as the one most involved. Rose wonders if she is broken in some way. And it is so frustrating to see people’s assumptions because no one should ever feel broken because they don’t conform. Rose faces peer pressure, Harley gets odd looks, and Max endures transphobic family members.

[A] ridiculous number of women informed [Rose] that this was going to be the most exciting stage of her life, as if they’d all become psychic because they’d once pushed a squirming, squalling creature out from their vaginas.

The cast is huge but most of the characters are incredibly nice and sweet, a good contrast to Rose’s actions. There were a few outing scenes of Max that I don’t feel great about even though I see the necessity for story-telling purposes. While I don’t really feel chemistry between Rose and Max, they really are cute together, and with Rose becoming a better person in terms of facing her own desires and educating herself on trans issues, I very much rooted for the pair’s happy ending.

Hemphill’s writing is very smooth and I enjoyed seeing Rose’s cynicism leak into the third-person POV narrative. The only issue I had was the passage of time, which felt weirdly fast, but it didn’t bother me much. Not Broken was a satisfying read that made me laugh a lot, and I appreciate the story challenging gender norms of parenting and a positive portrayal of a transguy.

I received an e-ARC from Bold Strokes Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Buddy read with Gabriella! Check out her review here!

[Jo reece · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm on the fence with 'Not broken'. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it either. Still an interesting read, with likable characters and an interesting storyline.
Rose Pereira is not in love. Rise is simply drifting through life when she introduced the up-and-coming indie band, Stare at the sun. She finds herself pulled in, feeling like she's alive for the first time in ages. Especially when she meets max.
But Rosie can't have feelings for Max, Because she doesn't know how to love and feels broken inside. But Rosies is also pregnant with another mans baby,

I was given a copy for an honest review
I gave Not broken a solid 3 stars.

[currentlyreadingbynat · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting premise for a novel, which I think the blurb misses out on highlighting. Rose is not maternal; however, she finds herself pregnant after a non-committal fling. She’s dealing with some unresolved issues after the death of her parents. These are two of our main themes within this novel.

What I liked about this novel was that it definitely pushed boundaries. Although it features a trans character, what I’m referring to here is a pregnant woman who self-declares herself as not maternal and as purely a surrogate for her ex-fling. I liked how this played out in the novel and I thought the author did a great job at portraying this in a realistic way with all of the assumptions made by secondary characters and her range of feelings around this issue. A tough feat for something so unconventional.

I thought the relationship between Rose and Max could’ve been developed further. There are references to their development, however we don’t see this play out. What I saw was a sudden friendship and then hook-up, with none of the build-up. I really would’ve liked to have seen this play out as it made it hard to connect with this part of the storyline.

All in all, I enjoyed reading this novel. So much so that I blew through it in an afternoon as it was definitely a compelling read.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Bold Strokes Books for a copy of this novel. ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

[Statum · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rose is somewhat of a loner when she is invited to see a band play. She finds friends and becomes a groupie when she normally would stay to herself. While she is initially attracted to a transgender guy by the name of Max, she ends up with Harley, the lead singer of the band. Although, she did not have feelings Harley, they become connected by an accidental pregnancy. Max turns out to be the one who loves her through it all. Regardless of how broken and battered she feels.

The synopsis of this book gave me a nice warm feeling like I was about to read something great. It made Max out to be a wonderful main character and that Rose was broken but would end up finding the love of her life. None of this really came to fruition for me in the book and the whole book fell flat.

In my opinion, this book should have some content warnings. There is discussion many controversial topics and it would be respectful to give the readers that information beforehand. This book contains the topics of abortion, dysmorphia by a transgender male, and infertility issues. Some are treated so briefly that someone that has been through it may find it lacking real-life empathy for the issues.

I really enjoyed the inclusion of a transgender character in this book, but unfortunately the book was lacking character development. The character development that did occur made me dislike Rose throughout the whole book. It was difficult to enjoy a book where the main character was so negative with no redeeming qualities. There was also a lot of reference to race and other controversial topics that seemed unneeded in this book. For example, Rose states that she has never seen an all-black rock band before. Also, she attends a birthing class makes a comment that of course it was all white people. The book also references hippies and anti-vaxxers in a negative connotation. All of these comments are in passing and not a part of the character or plot development, so it seemed unnecessary.

This is the first I have read from this author. I do not have any intention of reading any other books by her. I know there are some that will really like this book. However, for me, it had too much going on and not enough character and story development to keep me drawn in or wanting to read more.

I received an ARC by NetGalley and Bold Strokes Books in exchange for an honest review.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to admit that I really enjoy reading about trans characters. This is my 3rd romances involving one and I think I am really into because I am curious about what it is like to be trans and dating. Anyway, Not Broken started off hard for me to follow. I was just super confused about the who was talking to who and because there were a ton of characters, I had a hard time following. After a several chapters I got the hang of it and use to the writing style. I can say that Rose was for sure was troubled, BUT once she figured out some things about herself and past she could begin to accept herself. Her love interest Max has his own set of issues, but they are to be expected. Rose and Max were an unlikely match, but they overcome the odds which was really nice to see. Overall the book started shaky but picked up and ended well. 3.75 stars

This arc was provided by netgalley and the publisher for an honest review.

[Laurie · Rating 1 out of 5]

The premise of the book is interesting, but the characters felt so flat and unrelatable that I just wasn't drawn into the story. Rose seems to just float into relationships - she checks out a concert and is immediately brought into a friend group including the band members. She sleeps with the lead singer and just lets herself be lead into a relationship with him even though she doesn't real care about him, at least not romantically. She seems icy and removed from any decision making and the consequences that follow. The remaining characters don't add much more to the plot.

Thank you, NetGalley, for the ARC.

[Emy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book and the inclusivity a lot. The main characters fight gender norms so well it makes it fun to read. My only problem is I wasn't attached or didn't care about the main character at all and just wanted to hear about secondary characters. Maybe it was her hormones and I didn't personally get it. This book was fun though I recommend it.

[Eva Kenieva · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this entire novel in a single day. Lyn Hemphill really knows how to draw her readers into a story and keep them reading.

The main character has an unplanned pregnancy, and a lot of the story is about how many people believe they know not only what pregnant women ought to do, but also what they ought to feel. Some people just can't understand that some women will never want children.

The scene where she tells the father about the pregnancy had me literally in tears.

The protagonist is sympathetic even though her flaws are on clear display. She's a good person, but not a nice person. We get to watch her, as well as other characters, realize they were wrong about things and change their views and strive to change their behavior. I kept being reminded of "Pride and Prejudice" - that is, the plots aren't similar, but mistaken assumptions and people learning they were wrong and growing as a result are what the story is about.

Also, Hemphill uses some really beautiful imagery. She doesn't overwhelm us with it on every page, but now and then she gives us a gem like this description of a talented indie band's music: "she felt, just for a moment, like a legion marched beside her as she dragged herself through the mud and grief into the promise of dragonflies and spring on the other side."

Plus, several bits made me laugh out loud! Not sharing them so I won't spoil them.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is much to enjoy in this book, firstly its important to say its set in the UK, as many reviewers don't get UK snarky humour. The characters are well developed and believable, the scenarios are also realistic and there is a sensitive nuanced handling of parenting, race and trans issues. The main character Rose is a young woman, she is sad and snarky, she is very clear that she doesn't want to be a mother but is persuaded, not in a totally comfortable way, to have the baby by and for its father. She faces much prejudice for this including from the group of friends she recently made, as people struggle to get their head round the fact that a woman might not want to be a mother and that a man would desperately want to be a father. Rose is also navigating a massive crush on Max a trans man, she rightly gets told off by friends for not understanding or doing even basic research about gender dysphoria.
I like Rose, whilst she is grumpy and sometimes totally selfish, she feels authentic as a young woman who has been through a tragedy and finding her way in life. She also has some really great one line put downs and she is loyal, when she stands up for her friends she is quite formidable. The portrayal of Max is done with sensitivity, where his gender is an aspect of his life rather than his whole identity, he does experience one episode of transphobic dead naming which comes from outside the friendship group and is presented in a believable way.
I was gripped by this story, it has a good pace and goes into depth about the realities of pregnancy and birth, it was interesting to read about a young woman who doesn't want to be a mother and how she has to stand up for herself over and over again. There are a couple of uncomfortable moments, especially the way Rose is shamed by Frank and Harley doesn't always treat Rose well. I also liked that Rose is from Timor Leste and Harley is Black and other band members are also Black or mixed race, again their ethnicity is an aspect of their lives but also Rose doesn't shy away from naming the racism she and Harley experience. Rose grows and changes through the course of the book, which is a pleasure to watch especially as her view on being a mother doesn't change, it's important to have that be a consistent narrative.

With thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Chel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely portrayal of diverse characters, and a rich storyline between them. I often want lesfic / LGBT stories that are more about life than romance and this one gives us that - though there are romantic themes (and sex!) throughout, of course. Also interesting that Rose doesn’t have maternal instincts/ desire to be a parent, but is pregnant- a lot to unpack through that!

The characters grow through the novel and learn as they go, so sensitivity isn’t always shown, but that’s the purpose of the book. I definitely recommend this one to those who like to read rich stories about LGBTIQA + characters!

I will definitely read more from this author!

[Danial · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exact rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars.

The story has a rather slow start to it. The first few chapters were somewhat dull but the story does pick up after that. What I enjoyed was that Rose and the other characters were real and messy. They weren't perfect. They messed up and they eventually owned up to it. I enjoyed how they were fiercely protective of each other. Rose does grow as a person but it takes time and is not instantaneous - Just like real life. Once the story picks up, it starts to get enjoyable. TBH, Max was the best character, followed by Harley. I would seriously consider recommending this book to others.

I received a free copy of this book via NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Trigger Warning Database]

Trigger & Content Warnings

Transmisia
Deadnaming
Misgendering
Outing
Disownment mentioned
Gender dysphoria
Alcohol consumption
Pregnancy
Infertility
Death of a parent mentioned

[Alexis · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF