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The Almost Dancer
Climbing canyon walls in Texas, young Jessica dreams of becoming a real ballerina. Hours, auditions, and bloody toes later, she finds herself dancing professionally as a trainee of the Pacific Northwest Ballet. Then one moment on stage sends her spinning. A memoir rich with vulnerability, humor, and an insider view of the ballet world, The Almost Dancer unpacks the effects of ambition, faith, education, and trauma on artistic life. Through spiritual insight and deep theological questions, Jessica recovers anidentity that was never truly lost. The Almost Dancer is for anyone who needs to know that dreams don’t always come true but are always worth having.
306 pages, Paperback
Published October 25, 2019
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67 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
November 6, 2019
This is a fascinating memoir written by a friend of mine, and it's not just interesting because I'm slightly familiar with her story. I'd recommend this to anyone who loves to perform or loves someone who is following a big dream. The themes of joy, hard work, and suffering are woven throughout the book, and remind me that the human experience is a shared one. As our lives intersect we can encourage one another with truth and love--and in doing so, bolster each other with courage for whatever comes next in our lives.
January 3, 2020
This book was a beautiful picture of pain and new growth, with an examination of what is at our core in identity and how we see and live life. I cried and laughed. A couple quotes -
p. 22: Beyond the dance instruction, though, Mr Hess was a consummate teacher. He constantly spoke about life, art, and beauty. He had the skill and knowledge to teach us dance steps and choreography, but his ability to inspire made him a treasure. At least once per class but usually more times, he would stop the music, stare into space and begin, "you know, dancers...." Sometimes he called us "people," as in, "People you need to know...." What followed emphasized the failing state of human hearts and the power of art and religion to revive them. He taught us that what we were doing was much, much more than entertaining. Art and beauty, according to Mr Hess, lifted the spirit and inspired people to be better spiritually and morally.
p. 112: Carla was beautiful, talented, kind, well-trained, well-liked, well-spoken, and thoughtful. She articulated the most painful aspect of the stress with this sentence: "The indifference of the teachers and directors is what finally made me crave a different life."
p. 254: "Why are you so scared to dream?"
"Because I have believed I was an idiot to dream the first time. It ended in nightmare, and I decided that was my fault. My bootstraps gave out. I wasn't tough enough to get the prize."
If someone else hurts me, I can choose to judge, protect myself for the future, and walk away. But if the enemy, the accuser, the shamer is me, how can I escape? I explained to myself that I earned, deserved the devastation that came to my ballet career and therefore to me. I couldn't possibly heal from the wound until I saw that there were two angles.
One: Someone made a mistake, and sadly, I was injured in the accident. In this view, I was a victim, not a quitter or a weakling.
Two: I was a party to the tragedy, a train wreck that needed to be taught a painful lesson. In this second view, I am doomed to future pain and corrective measures coming in the form of tragedy unless I become perfect. Perfect is impossible; second best is putting my head down and never trying anything again.
Reality is that the accident was not my fault, but it changed my life by damaging my spine. Emotional turmoil was to be expected. However, my confused theology of suffering, aided and abetted by armchair philosophers and well-wishers, did a deeper more lasting damage.
p. 258: Because God is perfect, result (what happens) is synonymous with goal (what he intended to happen). But maybe with human perspective we should separate result and goal. It is helpful to me, a finite, imperfect being, to trust that refinement come solely for our improvement or our punishment. I particularly apply this perspective when encountering the trials in other people's lives. We have a few narrative examples in Scripture of suffering, humans, and God's stated opinion appearing in one place and time, like in the Book of Job, the story of Lazarus's resurrection, adn the story of the man born blind. Each of them teach that God's glory and relationship with us are emphasized over the moral improvement or status of individuals.
I challenge the assertion that the "flames shall not hurt thee." (from hymn: How Firm a Foundation, Ye Saints of the Lord) They do hurt. When gold is refined, it is melted. The state of it is completely changed! Smelting hurts, but it does not destroy. We are never burned up, decimated altogether.
I think the reason I don't tend to ask the painful "Why" question is that a false presumption has muted the question. Here it is: "you don't need to ask "why." You already know! Bad things happen so you'll be refined. Your only response should be, "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
This smacks of a little ballet student being repeatedly abused by the teacher ho "just wants you to be a good dancer." And doesn't the girl want to be a good dancer? Yes! More than anything! SO she absorbs the abuse, tries to sift of the kernel of instruction or truth hidden somewhere in the abrasive, offensive deliver, and applies it. She is operating with the narrow view of purity: perfection only. But God does not want perfect automatons. He wants relationships with loving worshipers! God is not an abusive coach only willing to deliver teaching through pain and humiliation. He is a Father, a Lover, a Hero in pursuit of his beloved.
"Thank you, sir. May I have another?" Is the reaction of a young woman faced with shocking, devastating pain. TO know that disaster--natural, criminal, or otherwise--can come without cause or explanation and without any way to control is is absolutely horrifying. Unless she has or is developing a robust understanding of God's own grief over disaster, his grace for criminals and victims, and his commitment to making everything new again, she can never sit with grief and just let it be. Instead, it must have use or explanation. But we can drive ourselves crazy looking for those answers.
p. 261: The cry of my heart for once-and-for-all approval is not satisfied by God slowly making me perfect. It is quieted by his Love.
p. 268: "People," I'd say and take my lipstick out of my pocket.
"People, you must remember." The lipstick would go on a bit crooked because I'd be unwilling to stop talking long enough to get it right.
"You must remember that if you work hard and keep trying, good things will happen." I would smile as I pictured you.
"But bad things will happen too." The room would get very still.
"It never ends in failure, though. Not if you can remind yourself that you have no idea when the end is. We are in the middle, and until the day you die, anything can happen in the middle. An artist's life must be one of constant metamorphosis. If dancing doesn't work out, for heaven's sake be a dancer doing something else. When you almost become something, that only means there is room for more."
Re-rolling my sleeves, of course I'd add, "Now do it again. And straighten your knees."
....I know there is more work to be done, more art to be found and made.
p. 22: Beyond the dance instruction, though, Mr Hess was a consummate teacher. He constantly spoke about life, art, and beauty. He had the skill and knowledge to teach us dance steps and choreography, but his ability to inspire made him a treasure. At least once per class but usually more times, he would stop the music, stare into space and begin, "you know, dancers...." Sometimes he called us "people," as in, "People you need to know...." What followed emphasized the failing state of human hearts and the power of art and religion to revive them. He taught us that what we were doing was much, much more than entertaining. Art and beauty, according to Mr Hess, lifted the spirit and inspired people to be better spiritually and morally.
p. 112: Carla was beautiful, talented, kind, well-trained, well-liked, well-spoken, and thoughtful. She articulated the most painful aspect of the stress with this sentence: "The indifference of the teachers and directors is what finally made me crave a different life."
p. 254: "Why are you so scared to dream?"
"Because I have believed I was an idiot to dream the first time. It ended in nightmare, and I decided that was my fault. My bootstraps gave out. I wasn't tough enough to get the prize."
If someone else hurts me, I can choose to judge, protect myself for the future, and walk away. But if the enemy, the accuser, the shamer is me, how can I escape? I explained to myself that I earned, deserved the devastation that came to my ballet career and therefore to me. I couldn't possibly heal from the wound until I saw that there were two angles.
One: Someone made a mistake, and sadly, I was injured in the accident. In this view, I was a victim, not a quitter or a weakling.
Two: I was a party to the tragedy, a train wreck that needed to be taught a painful lesson. In this second view, I am doomed to future pain and corrective measures coming in the form of tragedy unless I become perfect. Perfect is impossible; second best is putting my head down and never trying anything again.
Reality is that the accident was not my fault, but it changed my life by damaging my spine. Emotional turmoil was to be expected. However, my confused theology of suffering, aided and abetted by armchair philosophers and well-wishers, did a deeper more lasting damage.
p. 258: Because God is perfect, result (what happens) is synonymous with goal (what he intended to happen). But maybe with human perspective we should separate result and goal. It is helpful to me, a finite, imperfect being, to trust that refinement come solely for our improvement or our punishment. I particularly apply this perspective when encountering the trials in other people's lives. We have a few narrative examples in Scripture of suffering, humans, and God's stated opinion appearing in one place and time, like in the Book of Job, the story of Lazarus's resurrection, adn the story of the man born blind. Each of them teach that God's glory and relationship with us are emphasized over the moral improvement or status of individuals.
I challenge the assertion that the "flames shall not hurt thee." (from hymn: How Firm a Foundation, Ye Saints of the Lord) They do hurt. When gold is refined, it is melted. The state of it is completely changed! Smelting hurts, but it does not destroy. We are never burned up, decimated altogether.
I think the reason I don't tend to ask the painful "Why" question is that a false presumption has muted the question. Here it is: "you don't need to ask "why." You already know! Bad things happen so you'll be refined. Your only response should be, "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
This smacks of a little ballet student being repeatedly abused by the teacher ho "just wants you to be a good dancer." And doesn't the girl want to be a good dancer? Yes! More than anything! SO she absorbs the abuse, tries to sift of the kernel of instruction or truth hidden somewhere in the abrasive, offensive deliver, and applies it. She is operating with the narrow view of purity: perfection only. But God does not want perfect automatons. He wants relationships with loving worshipers! God is not an abusive coach only willing to deliver teaching through pain and humiliation. He is a Father, a Lover, a Hero in pursuit of his beloved.
"Thank you, sir. May I have another?" Is the reaction of a young woman faced with shocking, devastating pain. TO know that disaster--natural, criminal, or otherwise--can come without cause or explanation and without any way to control is is absolutely horrifying. Unless she has or is developing a robust understanding of God's own grief over disaster, his grace for criminals and victims, and his commitment to making everything new again, she can never sit with grief and just let it be. Instead, it must have use or explanation. But we can drive ourselves crazy looking for those answers.
p. 261: The cry of my heart for once-and-for-all approval is not satisfied by God slowly making me perfect. It is quieted by his Love.
p. 268: "People," I'd say and take my lipstick out of my pocket.
"People, you must remember." The lipstick would go on a bit crooked because I'd be unwilling to stop talking long enough to get it right.
"You must remember that if you work hard and keep trying, good things will happen." I would smile as I pictured you.
"But bad things will happen too." The room would get very still.
"It never ends in failure, though. Not if you can remind yourself that you have no idea when the end is. We are in the middle, and until the day you die, anything can happen in the middle. An artist's life must be one of constant metamorphosis. If dancing doesn't work out, for heaven's sake be a dancer doing something else. When you almost become something, that only means there is room for more."
Re-rolling my sleeves, of course I'd add, "Now do it again. And straighten your knees."
....I know there is more work to be done, more art to be found and made.
May 22, 2020
Longer review forthcoming.
I will just say, I highly recommend this book. If you love good story telling, personal vignettes in bite-sized portions, moments of laughter, and episodes that draw tears, grab a copy of this book today. As a teacher, I often take an interest in my own students' extra-curricula lives. Outside of school they journey in the worlds of the major-league wanna-be, the lay artist, the amateur musician, the would-be actor, and the almost dancer. As a result I have known many young dancers who have aspirations like Jessica Ribera's. Having read Ribera's memoir, I now have a bit more insight into what's in-store for these young dreamers. I know that few will have the drive, stamina, courage, wisdom, opportunity, and skill to make it as far as The Almost Dancer. As you read, you will be amazed at her capacity to navigate this difficult path, work harder than I can imagine, remain focused, and do it all with grace and poise.
I love attending dance performances because they blend story, art, theater, movement, and music. Jessica Ribera's memoir The Almost Dancer does the same. Read it, you'll see.
Just a bit of a disclaimer. I am not just a reader but a family member, father-in-law to be exact. I am proud to have gotten a brief mention in the book. I love Jessica like a daughter, but have to say, I never realized the extent of what she went through. I shed many tears reading this honest, candid memoir. At times it was hard to go on, but I am glad I did. Jessica, your courage and accomplishment amaze me. Thank you for sharing your story. I love you.
I will just say, I highly recommend this book. If you love good story telling, personal vignettes in bite-sized portions, moments of laughter, and episodes that draw tears, grab a copy of this book today. As a teacher, I often take an interest in my own students' extra-curricula lives. Outside of school they journey in the worlds of the major-league wanna-be, the lay artist, the amateur musician, the would-be actor, and the almost dancer. As a result I have known many young dancers who have aspirations like Jessica Ribera's. Having read Ribera's memoir, I now have a bit more insight into what's in-store for these young dreamers. I know that few will have the drive, stamina, courage, wisdom, opportunity, and skill to make it as far as The Almost Dancer. As you read, you will be amazed at her capacity to navigate this difficult path, work harder than I can imagine, remain focused, and do it all with grace and poise.
I love attending dance performances because they blend story, art, theater, movement, and music. Jessica Ribera's memoir The Almost Dancer does the same. Read it, you'll see.
Just a bit of a disclaimer. I am not just a reader but a family member, father-in-law to be exact. I am proud to have gotten a brief mention in the book. I love Jessica like a daughter, but have to say, I never realized the extent of what she went through. I shed many tears reading this honest, candid memoir. At times it was hard to go on, but I am glad I did. Jessica, your courage and accomplishment amaze me. Thank you for sharing your story. I love you.
March 7, 2020
An interesting memoir - a young girl growing up in Texas with the hope of becoming a successful ballerina. A lot of hard work and hopes and eventually landed in Seattle and does well until a night where there is an accident that affects her life and hopes.
She has parents who try to do whatever they can to help her succeed, she likes her city and tries to hang on to the hope of ballet. A good history of a young woman's efforts and the frank reality of ballet. The teachers encourage her as long as things are going well for her - but they are also on the lookout for the next stars. Personally I would expect them to help her more but they mostly say cliques and slowly she realizes her dreams will not happen. The one person who did help her - so she had medical coverage for her injury - they were a lifesaver for her.
Jessica has lot of faith in her religion and struggles to believe what that faith tells her.
I have read other books similar to this without the religious aspects - they also tell the truth and torture of that dream. She is a believer and realizes that a lot of the hope comes from within.
I would give this book a 3.5. A good explanation of the hard work in this dream and of ballet itself.
She has parents who try to do whatever they can to help her succeed, she likes her city and tries to hang on to the hope of ballet. A good history of a young woman's efforts and the frank reality of ballet. The teachers encourage her as long as things are going well for her - but they are also on the lookout for the next stars. Personally I would expect them to help her more but they mostly say cliques and slowly she realizes her dreams will not happen. The one person who did help her - so she had medical coverage for her injury - they were a lifesaver for her.
Jessica has lot of faith in her religion and struggles to believe what that faith tells her.
I have read other books similar to this without the religious aspects - they also tell the truth and torture of that dream. She is a believer and realizes that a lot of the hope comes from within.
I would give this book a 3.5. A good explanation of the hard work in this dream and of ballet itself.
February 28, 2020
“The Almost Dancer” is a compelling story of a young woman’s journey in the world of ballet, and how her dream of being a prima ballerina was so unjustly taken away from her.
Jessica’s love of dance took her from her small town in Texas to New York and finally to Seattle. Her story for me was so much more than her dream to be the best ballerina, but about how she dealt with the loss of that identity when an injury forced her to give up ballet. And the fact that the injury was caused by a stagehand’s error, just seemed to make it that much worse.
The pain she endured, the physical therapy she went to faithfully, how she danced even when her body was telling her to stop, it was only going to get worse once she told PNB (Pacific Northwest Ballet company) that she couldn’t dance any longer. It felt like she had become disposable especially when PNB fought her over workman’s comp.
This is a wonderful read about finding personal strength, resilience and how to face life when it feels like you don’t know where you fit. Reading of her life now, with her husband, four kids, and as a published author, it’s a feel good read.
Jessica’s love of dance took her from her small town in Texas to New York and finally to Seattle. Her story for me was so much more than her dream to be the best ballerina, but about how she dealt with the loss of that identity when an injury forced her to give up ballet. And the fact that the injury was caused by a stagehand’s error, just seemed to make it that much worse.
The pain she endured, the physical therapy she went to faithfully, how she danced even when her body was telling her to stop, it was only going to get worse once she told PNB (Pacific Northwest Ballet company) that she couldn’t dance any longer. It felt like she had become disposable especially when PNB fought her over workman’s comp.
This is a wonderful read about finding personal strength, resilience and how to face life when it feels like you don’t know where you fit. Reading of her life now, with her husband, four kids, and as a published author, it’s a feel good read.
April 1, 2024
This is lovely book about the author's experience of almost attaining her life-long dream of becoming a professional ballet dancer. It's about how your identity can revolve around your passion and who you hope to become, and what happens when that changes due to circumstances beyond your control. Jessica may no longer dance, but she is still a graceful and perceptive storyteller, just through a different medium.
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January 24, 20201889 interview.
June 6, 2022
Beautifully written, and with the raw emotion of the author’s experience spilled across the pages. Highly recommend.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews