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The Works: The Classic Collection

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The Works contains 120 of Pam Ayres' best-known poems from the 1970s and 1980s, including The Battery Hen; Please Will You Take Your Children Home Before I Do Them In?; Sling Another Chair Leg on the Fire, Mother; and, of course, Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth. For this new edition Pam has written a general introduction, as well as individual introductions to the poems, many of which are now illustrated with specially commissioned line drawings by Susan Hellard. This is the first time The Works has been available in hardback and is certain to delight Pam's fans of all ages. Pam is one of Britain's best-loved personalities and has been a regular on television and radio for more than 30 years—most recently on Just a Minute, The Comedy Quiz, Countdown, and her own series, Ayres on the Air.

256 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 2010

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About the author

Pam Ayres

87 books38 followers
Pam Ayres is a poet and published author of children's books. Some of her published credits include Guess Who, Guess What, Piggo and the Fork Lift Truck.

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5 stars
59 (33%)
4 stars
66 (37%)
3 stars
38 (21%)
2 stars
9 (5%)
1 star
2 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
Profile Image for Dane Cobain.
Author 22 books321 followers
May 16, 2022
This is a cracking little collection of Pam Ayres’ poetry, and it comes with the added little bonus that she introduces a bunch of the poems with a little mini essay that tells you how they came about. In a weird way, it reminded me of Isaac Asimov, because he used to do something similar.

Ayres’ poetry isn’t the normal kind of poetry that I like, because I’m not really one for rhyming verse. With that said, there’s a lot of humour to what she does and so it’s pretty hard to read her work without cracking an occasional smile.

I don’t think this is the kind of poetry that’s going to make you think new things or help you to broaden your mind, but that’s not what it aims to be. It’s more a form of escapism, despite the fact that it focuses on a bunch of more mundane subject matters. That kind of makes it like a snapshot in time, because a lot of the stuff that Ayres wrote about already feels dated and like an echo from a former life.

I like the way that Ayres is able to be so autobiographical in her work without it feeling gratuitous or like she’s only writing to exercise her demons. Instead, she’s busy just reflecting the life that she’s lived and the things that she’s seen. I particularly liked a piece about suffering battery hens.
Profile Image for Karen Burnell.
Author 5 books11 followers
October 8, 2015
About author

Pam Ayres has been a regular on television and radio since winning the TV talent show Opportunity Knocks in 1975. More than thirty years later, Pam is a regular on BBC Radio 4 in her own series Ayres on the Air, as well as on programmes such as Just a minute, Loose ends and That reminds me. Pam performs her solo stage show throughout Britain and around the world.

Blurb on the back

Honest, hilarious and occasionally poignant, Pam’s humorous verse deftly exposes the absurdities of everyday life and continues to delight fans of all ages around the world.

Good bits about the book

Her poems are short, punchy, witty and humorous all good points! She writes about everyday concerns in life but makes them interesting and funny. In some poems she writes in dialect which just adds to the hilarity (?).

Bad bits about the book

There is nothing to put here. All her poems were about different subjects so not boring. She has a knack for making otherwise mundane issues funny.

Rating for book

Four out of five stars. There are poets I prefer but she is definitely one of the best.
Profile Image for Laura Clode.
81 reviews4 followers
March 8, 2014
Some of the funniest set of works I have ever come across, Pam ayres is hilarious, truthful and smart. Her clean poetry is usually dabbed with a hint of amusement and almost always has her Oxfordshire accent sprinkled throughout. These poems will make you want to read more, more and more until you finish the collection in one sitting wondering why it's so short (which it isn't). I truly loved this piece of art literature and would highly recommend it to everyone! My favourite poem was the dentist.
Profile Image for Allison Symes.
Author 30 books24 followers
August 16, 2015
Wonderful book. Contains all the old favourites. I remember Pam Ayres winning Opportunity Knocks with Oh How I Wish I Looked After Me Teeth. She probably won't thank me for mentioning that but the poem stands the test of time and is still as funny.

I also love The Dolly on the Dustcart and I'm The Dog Who Didn't Win a Prize so there is heart-rending work in here too!

And who could resist a poem called Don't Start! I couldn't. Rang a few bells too.

Wonderful to dip into or read through.
Profile Image for Catherine Johnson.
Author 2 books31 followers
August 14, 2012
This book has been out of stock for ages in North America so on my recent trip to the Uk I snapped it up. Pam is a firm favorite. I love her style and wit and could read everything she's ever written it's that good. Thanks Pam Ayres!
25 reviews
March 6, 2011
Good for a laugh but better live
Profile Image for Janjelle.
1 review
August 29, 2012
Pam Ayres is pure Genius with the Poems she can create
Profile Image for Porl Yates.
12 reviews1 follower
September 26, 2014
Simply lovely....and brought back a lot of memories from my childhood....
Profile Image for Flyss Williams.
631 reviews2 followers
April 25, 2015
Charming collection of comic compositions from poet Pam Ayres best loved poems including, I wish I'd looked after my teeth, Battery hen and Do you think Bruce Springsteen would fancy me?
Profile Image for Margaret.
Author 20 books105 followers
August 6, 2017
I enjoyed revisiting poems from my youth.

Pleased to find two of my all time favourites "Clamp the Mighty Limpet" and "The Battery Hen" included in this collection.

An enjoyable little dose of nostalgia.
Profile Image for Tim Alborough.
256 reviews2 followers
January 6, 2019
When reading Pam Ayres poems ,
Of which there are plenty in this book,
Its best read with the voice of Pam in your head.

To imagine Pam Ayres reciting her poems,
with a tongue in cheek performance and the look,
A wink with her eye as you read her book in your bed.


Profile Image for Sarah.
426 reviews
September 17, 2019
Great book of poems to dip into. I would highly recommend. It has given me much inspiration to write my own poems.
Profile Image for Donna Wellard.
346 reviews12 followers
December 31, 2021
Always been a fan. Every poem is a joy and perfect for a go to chuckle at the end of 2021!
Profile Image for Sophie Crane.
5,328 reviews183 followers
April 2, 2024
This book just makes us chuckle. Like how she also gives a little background to some of her poems.
Profile Image for Alex.
210 reviews1 follower
November 4, 2024
Really witty poetry and beautifully written. Though some of them I didn’t fully understand and I feel like they would be better heard aloud.
Profile Image for James Turpin.
10 reviews
August 4, 2025
Poetry that is soft, often slightly witty, and doesn't ask much of you. It's also often very relatable in a down to earth and simple way.

There's absolutely a place for this today.
Profile Image for Adele.
1,215 reviews10 followers
January 25, 2022
A lighthearted poem a day
Guarantees to keep stress and depression at bay
Read one in the morning, at noon and at night
They’ll soon have you chucklin’ and feelin’ alright
For Pam’s observant and funny, her poems are just joyous you see
I have no particular favourite, they’re all recommended by me
Profile Image for Wayne Farmer.
380 reviews7 followers
October 30, 2018
I was left a little disappointed by these poems - I loved Pam Ayres when she appeared on the TV when i was younger, but somehow reading the poems yourself loses some of the humour. I think its all down to her voice and personality when she reads them aloud herself that makes her poems work, and without that they just didn't work for me.
Profile Image for Tanya.
249 reviews5 followers
July 8, 2018
Still great so many years later. Thanks Rachael Van Asch for the reminder of Pam Ayres
Profile Image for Marie.
267 reviews35 followers
January 2, 2020
Me and my mum used to read this together when I was a child. I forgot how funny some of these poems were.
2 reviews
December 28, 2020
Pam Ayres is soo funny,I remember her from being a kid...this book didn't disappoint, had a good giggle all the way through
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews