A Tale of Two Vikings

Viking I #7

by Sandra Hill

Has an eye for the ladies, loves a good fight. Splits his sides over rude jokes. Won't ask directions no matter how lost he is . . . even in a longship, for the love of Odin! Sound like anyone you know? Maybe every man you know?

Toste and Vagn Ivarsson are all that and more—a lot more. Identical Viking twins, they came squalling into this world together, rode their first horses at the age of seven, their first maids during their thirteenth summer, and rode off on longships as untried fourteen-year-old warriors. And now, having seen only thirty and one winters, they are about to face Valhalla together. Or maybe something even more tragic: being separated. For even the most virile Viking must eventually leave his best buddy behind and do battle with that most fearsome of all opponents—the love of his life.

Genres: Romance, Historical Romance, Historical, Time Travel, Humor, Medieval, Historical Fiction

357 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published May 29, 2004

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Sandra Hill is a graduate of Penn State and worked for more than 10 years as a features writer and education editor for publications in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Writing about serious issues taught her the merits of seeking the lighter side of even the darkest stories. She is the wife of a stockbroker and the mother of four sons.

This biography was provided by the author or their representative.

Reviews

[Misti · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh Sandra Hill, a review in haiku:

Your strange obsession
with horny Vikings and maids
never ceases to amaze.

Two erstwhile heroes
think each other to be dead,
Mourn by having sex.

Important plot points:
Hot nun with abusive dad,
Childhood friend now hot,

Awful poetry,
Bondage, Teasing, Candle-Sex.
Sandra Hill, you're nuts.

[Kathrynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a light, feel-good, medieval book that had the added bonus of a Christmas (yuletide) theme. Other than the very beginning when the author set the stage for the two twin brother's separate stories, it was a non-violent, feel-good romance. But, the single focus of this ENTIRE book was sex. How to seduce and how to get it. There was potential for other plots, but they never amounted to much. Also, the characters were very "Abbey Normal" for the time-period...

There was no transition between telling the separate tales, either. Sometimes, I found it annoying how the author would end and start the next chapter with the other brother. Helga and Vagn's story was much sweeter. Sometimes Toste was a jerk to Esme. All were likable characters. A lot of writing was spent on describing the twins "feelings and feeling" each other. A lot of banty dialogue, but sometimes it got on my nerves and some things did not hit me as funny. Sorry. This book did not have me laughing-out-loud, but a few chuckles here and there. The sex scenes were not erotic graphic, but on the sizzling side of hot. I would like to have had more substance to the book...

3 1/2 Stars

I recommend this author's Cajun series, set in modern Louisianna and found them to be very funny.

[Nadia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ik heb me kostelijk vermaakt. Helaas heeft het boek minder smut dan verwacht, en wat er wel was was altijd lowkey aanranding/verkrachting...

Daarnaast was het plot soms ver te zoeken.

Wel leuke nieuwe scheldwoorden zoals: uitgedroogde maagd, hongerige zwerver, jonge berk, gifkikker, dom gansje, domme ezel, ordinaire sloeri

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alright you have two twin Vikings, Toste and Vagn, who get separated after a battle. Each brother believing the other died.
So basically you get two romance stories for the price of one. To me it was like a one very long tease story involving strong, muscular, attractive vikings who don't mind a roll in the hay but balk at thoughts of a longer commitment.
Toste gets rescued by nuns and find himself lusting after one Lady Esme who has yet taken her vows. After an attempt on her life and her revealing her story Toste get to play the hero and rescue her. Then a deal is sorta struck between the two that ends in a fight and a planned kiddnapping. A certain strapping Viking gets bound to a bed naked but he gets his revenge and alot of sex happens.

Meanwhile Vagn was saved by Jarl Sigurdsson who believes he is Toste and demands he marry his daughter Helga. Helga was dubbed Helga the Homely by Toste and even 12 yrs later noone lets her forget it. Now she is an independent strong willed woman who has no intrest in marriage. Soon however it turns into a game of lust and wills. Candles, seduction and more are involved when Helga decides she only wants Vagn for the one thing he doesn't want to give...his baby making seed.

Each use their method of birth control..the pull out method so with these four going at it like rabbits its like playing russian roulette. Most of the book is like foreplay where either the four characters are lusting or teasing one another or avoiding them. During all that you get a little action, no bedsport related, that deals with death attempts, secrets, and land. Ohh and of course those poem things from the Skald guy.

[Ruby · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why did I check this book out of the library and take the time to read it? A moment of insanity surely.

The book wasn't neccessarily baaaaad, it just wasn't really that good. I felt like I was reading a cartoonized romance novel, a parody of itself. Let's face it, the male characters in this book were little more than over-sexed buffoons. The women were shrewish, stupidly stubborn and in my opinion, totally selfish. At one point one of the female characters, Esme, takes Toste captive because she doesn't want him to avenge his twin brother's "death." Rather, she needs him to be by her side to help her with her cause and not abandon her. Really? Throughout the novel, she is afraid of losing her independence and power and yet sees no problem in taking it away from another? The plot was rather thin and dull in my opnion, too. One annoying thing was that each section in each chapter was introduced by the author's irritatingly anachronistic "witticisms" which destroyed any momentum that had been going.

Good concept, disastrous execution, in my opinion.

[Maaike Konig · Rating 2 out of 5]

What a ride... Heb dit verhaal als live luisterboek gesproken door Nadia doorstaan en dat is waarom ik toch nog twee sterren heb gegeven. Ik vond dit verhaal niet al te best, gewoon niet zo goed geschreven en waarom was de consent elke keer weer questionable. Additionally, I will never get over the telepathic boners

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Had a lot of comedy/sex-humor. It was also fun for a change to read from the male perspective, funny to read some of the stuff going through their minds. It would have been nice to have the Author's note in the beginning of the book, or at least the part where she gave pronounciations for Vagn and Toste's name. I didn't read the author's note until the end so I read the whole book pronouncing the names differently, which of course was fine with me because I actually liked my pronounciations better (I pronounced Vagn as VAIN and Toste like TOSSED but with a T at the end instead of a D). As for the main characters themselves, I found that Vagn's story/adventure was my favorite. Perhaps it was because Vagn has a more comical personality, and Helga's anticcs were more outlandish.

[Eastofoz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is hilarious! The brothers are great and the heroine is not like all the others. She holds her own very well even though she's not the most beautiful woman around. The sex is white hot!

[Kendra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny, quirky, cute, though basically no plot line, and a bit irritating with the way it jumped around. The parrot was hysterical, and I wished for much more. Enjoyable light read overall, though

[Cindy Senn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always fun to read. A must read.

I absolutely adore Sandra Hill's novels, particularly her Viking series. I own all the books in the Viking 1 and Viking 2 series and I'm currently revisiting this particular book, which I've owned since it was first published in paperback. Every book by Hill guarantees a delightful mix of love, drama, and humor. It's crucial to read the books in order as there are recurring characters that appear throughout the series, seamlessly tying everything together. Hill's depiction of the Viking world through her words is incredibly captivating and comprehensive. The dialogue is sharp and engrossing, and her characters are multi-dimensional and utterly believable. The way she constructs the Viking "world" makes it feel as though she herself lived that life.

[Mary Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes, this is a book about two identical twins! And the heroes are the classic Hill hero, in that they’re both complete doofuses. They’ve also taken a casual, devil-may-care attitude towards life—until the battle when they are finally separated from one another. The story then has each of them meeting their heroines and experiencing very different aspects of life. And frankly put, it also forces them to grow up from the sort of Beavis-and-Butthead state that they were in at the start of the book.

A Tale of Two Vikings is full of Hill’s trademark humor, but the two stories in one make for a fun read.

[Susan Ross · Rating 3 out of 5]

A cute story about Viking twins who both think each other dead after a battle with the Saxons. They each fall for the woman who heals them.

Pet Peeve: Can the publisher please give the illustrator a description of the characters in the book? It repeatedly said the twins were blonde with shoulder length hair.

[redmamameka · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars…a super cheese Viking romance novel that was on the vulgar side. I appreciated the attempt of humor with the mini subtitles ex:
Even tricksters get tricked betimes…
But overall the book was just didn’t work for me.

[Nora Griswold · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great!!!

The names were difficult to pronounce, but what a pair!! Great entertaining love stories that will keep you laughing and interested.

[Myra Wray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread. I again found this story very fascinating & quite funny.

[Rebecca Eddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Sandra Hill has an amazing sense of humor and a talent for poetry/ sagas. All her Viking books are undoubtably the best in the book world.

[Debra J · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hubba hubba

I love all of her books. They make me laugh. They make me cry they make me feel and the Vikings are really fun characters

[Indah Threez Lestari · Rating 4 out of 5]

98 - 2012

Historical romance kocak yang cocok untuk melepas stres, asalkan sebagai pembaca kita tidak terlalu peduli dengan plotnya yang sebagian besar berfokus pada bagaimana usaha para tokoh cowoknya agar bisa mendapatkan dan bercinta dengan cewek incaran masing-masing. Latar belakang diganti masa modern juga rasanya tidak akan mengubah cerita terlalu banyak. Zaman Vikingnya mungkin hanya untuk menegaskan kenapa cowok-cowok Viking jadi idola bagi cewek pada masa itu. Stereotipnya memang cowok Viking tinggi-besar-gagah-ganteng-pirang, jago bertarung dan ahli bercinta. Tapi yang paling penting adalah cowok Viking itu... SUKA MANDI (catatan: bukan nama daerah di Priangan). Karena berdasarkan sejarah jaman pertengahan bangsa-bangsa lain di Eropa jarang dan malas mandi (konon untuk menutupi bau badanlah orang Prancis menemukan parfum), maka cewek-cewek berbagai bangsa di Eropa jatuh cinta pada cowok Viking yang bersih dan wangi.

Novel ini berkisah tentang dua cowok kembar Viking (jelas sesuai judulnya), yaitu Toste Ivarsson dan Vagn Ivarsson, kembar identik yang hanya bisa dibedakan dengan tanda lahir berbentuk daun semanggi di paha bagian dalam Toste (yang jelas baru bisa dilihat kalau bagian bawah tubuh Toste telanjang ). Makanya meski judulnya dua Viking gambar covernya cukup satu, karena toh sama saja, mau dianggap Toste atau Vagn, silakan terserah pembaca.

Nah, konon Toste dan Vagn selalu melakukan segalanya bersama-sama. Bukan cuma lahir bersama, mereka sama-sama naik kuda pertama kali di umur tujuh tahun, naik cewek pertama kali (maaf, terjemahannya harfiah banget supaya nuansanya mirip-mirip aslinya) di umur tiga belas tahun, dan naik kapal pertama kali sebagai prajurit viking pemula di usia empat belas tahun. Mereka punya bahasa rahasia sendiri, belum lagi telepati, sehingga meski terpisah jarak yang satu bisa merasakan apa yang dialami yang lain, sakit atau terluka, misalnya. Bahkan lagi cukuran biasa saja bisa mendadak horny, kalau kembarannya memang lagi nafsu banget. Mereka tidak mau menikah, karena tak sanggup berpisah.

Alkisah setelah malang melintang bersama sampai usia tiga puluh satu tahun, barulah si kembar mulai merasa bosan terus menerus berperang, berpikir untuk pulang ke kampung halaman dan hidup berkeluarga dengan damai. Memang sih risikonya mereka yang sudah diusir dari rumah oleh sang ayah karena kelakuan mereka, harus minta pengampunan dan terpaksa menurut pada ayah dan kakak laki-laki mereka.

Baru juga berniat begitu, rombongan pasukan mereka diserang mendadak oleh pasukan Saxon. Keduanya luka parah, sama-sama mengira kembarannya tewas, dan kehidupan mereka mulai bercabang karena masing-masing ditolong oleh pihak yang berbeda.

Toste ditolong oleh biara terdekat, dan dalam prosesnya jadi tertarik dan jatuh nafsu pada Sister Esme, salah satu biarawati di sana (masih calon tapinya, karena belum disumpah sih), yang tentu saja cantik jelita.

Vagn diculik ditolong oleh Jarl Gorm Sigurdsson, yang mengiranya sebagai Toste, dan memaksanya untuk menjadi suami anak perempuannya, Helga. Waktu kecil Toste pernah bertunangan dengan Helga, tapi menolak gadis itu terang-terangan. Dalam prosesnya, karena Helga yang waktu kecil bak itik buruk rupa tapi sekarang sudah menjadi angsa yang cantik, Vagn jadi tertarik dan jatuh nafsu pada mantan tunangan Toste itu.

Sejak saat si kembar terpisah itulah novel terbagi menjadi dua cerita yang berbeda. Toste dan Vagn menjadi tokoh utama dari kisahnya masing-masing. Dan karena keduanya tukang bercanda dan humoris, jalan ceritanya jadi komedi situasi yang penuh narasi dan dialog kocak, meski kadang-kadang suka maksa. Sudah tentu, seperti diceritakan di atas, intinya adalah bagaimana prosesnya hingga Toste akhirnya dapat bercinta dengan Esme (selain plot sampingan menolong sang cewek dari ayah dan kakak-kakaknya yang kemaruk, sampai Toste sempat menyamar jadi Sister Tostina segala), atau bagaimana prosesnya hingga Vagn akhirnya dapat bercinta dengan Helga (meski sang cewek tidak ingin menikah dengannya, hanya berniat punya anak dari Vagn demi memberikan cucu bagi sang ayah). Baru menjelang novel berakhir, kedua kisah yang bercabang disatukan lagi dengan reuni si kembar yang akhirnya mengetahui kembarannya masih hidup. Tapi sebatang kara selama beberapa waktu telah menyadarkan keduanya untuk mulai menempuh dan memiliki kehidupan sendiri.

Bonus novel ini adalah tokoh Bolthor, prajurit Viking bertubuh raksasa yang bercita-cita jadi bard atau scald, yang gemar menciptakan saga-saga kocak dengan judul-judul yang tak kalah kocak. Setelah selesai baca, baru sadar bahwa novel ini adalah novel ketujuh dari serial Viking-nya Sandra Hill, dan tokoh Bolthor rupanya figuran dan hiburan tetap di seri ini. Tapi meskipun buku ketujuh, novel ini bisa dibaca terpisah dan tetap enak bisa dinikmati tanpa perlu membaca novel-novel sebelumnya.

[Lover of Romance · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Tale of Two Vikings is exactly what the title claims, its a story of two twin brother Vikings. Toste and Vagn were born at the same time, twins, they have done everything in their lives together. When they go into battle together, they are both injured and separated having to assume the other is dead, despite the strong connection they have for each other. Toste is taken away by some Nuns, including a Lady Esme, the most beautiful and stunning nun he has ever seen, and has yet to say her complete vows to the church, so of course for him she is available, however Esme is only looking for sanctuary from those that want her killed, not a handsome viking that stirs up her senses. Vagn is taken back to familiar surroundings, and back to Helga -his brothers betrothed. But now they his brother Toste is dead, he notices that Helga the Homely as she once was called, is now Helga the beautiful. So Vagn starts considering the idea of marrying Helga, however she is very high spirited and resistant to marrying him. However these Viking Twins never expected that their greatest battle would be for....LOVE
I have to say that A Tale of Two Vikings is by far one of my favorites of Sandra Hill. I loved the whole aspect of twin Vikings, I mean who wouldn't right? It takes place back in 900 A.D., and it was definitely a witty yet sensual written story. In this story each chapter each trades off to each twins love story, which is neat yet can be a bit frustrating when the chapter leaves you hanging. This is a wonderful story of two twins that have never thought that they would ever settle down, but once they are separated, they start thinking outside the box, and find women of their own, and such a sweet reunion when they find each other once again. Definitely a story you dont want to miss out on, one that will surprise and intrigue you senseless.

[TJ · Rating 1 out of 5]

A note in my defense; I DID NOT know she writes soft porn!! I heard Sandra Hill was a great historical romance writer that was also humorous so I picked up this book at the used book store to give her a try. I quickly found that it is not a story (NO plot) but a "how-to" book on seducing women (one of them a nun), and ideas (played out) on kinky sex. That was literally the entire book - it started a few chapters in and continued until the last 5 pages ( I know, I skimmed through trying to piece together some semblance of a plot while skipping the rest - it can't be done.) Could there not be some kind of warning on these books so those who want to read it can and those who do not can stay away?

[Alex · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you don't have anything else to read, then read this as a last resort. But I did like it

Follow me!

[Betty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have this thing for Viking bodice rippers. Yeah, I know, kind of silly. But the Viking thing is part of my heritage, sorta kinda, although the last time my family was in Sweden, they were loggers! LOL.

I really enjoyed the first of Sandra Hill's viking books. They were clever and funny and sexy. But I haven't like the last few. They've seemed a lot less smart, and more Three Stooges than Viking to my way of thinking. This one was a little better, but I'm still not keeping it. :p

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my first Sandra Hill book and won't be my last! I really enjoyed the humor and the sparks between the characters. Not only do you get a love store you get two!!! That's right this has twins in it and each has his own story of love. Mrs. Hill gives you great dialogue not only from the "Vikings" but their ladies as well. Thourghly enjoyed and will read more of the Vikings stories. Thanks for a great read!

[D.R.Slater · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take of two Viking

Yes, quite a journey it was and a worthy one. I love this story, well written humor . . . Lord rotting-clock my favorite. Finding myself laughing out loud in the dead of night. Unable to place the tale of two Viking down thank god I started it on a weekend. The tears did come when the brothers rekindle. Sandra keep the humor in the storytelling and Bolthor's poems. His poems enrich the storyline.

[Romance Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

These books get more fun to read with each one. The are totally off-beat and goofy and unbelievable but somehow manage to make me want more. I especially like that this one is actually set in the past rather than a viking coming into the present like the others. The one major problem I had with this one was the terrible poetry--it took away from the story and made the book end with a whimper.

[Sally]

A light read. Sort of fun on the train but it won't stretch anyone.

Sandra Hill has a way of expression that I find a bit condescending and she tried using a derivative of bloody and got it really wrong, that grates my ears as a native user of this much misused swear word.

Still for a bit of light fluff, it was a decent read. I can't recommend it strongly though.

[Scarlett Barnhill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think my favorite part of this book is that it made me laugh out loud. It's not the best book I've ever read, but I was very entertained. I liked it enough that I'll continue to seek out Sandra Hill's books.

[Karry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book! It was so funny I did a couple of spit takes (candle-tupping practice, and dog style-swiving) because it was so funny and unexpected. I enjoyed the 2 in 1 story as well. I really liked the Twins before, but I just love them now!

[Kelly]

may of 2004

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the twins book. The story goes back and forth from one twins pov to the other. Always a fun read when it is a Hill book!