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352 pages, Hardcover
Published December 29, 2020

“Dear Europe, I loved feeling part of you. That feeling that we were together, our differences combining to make something bigger than either of us. Something unique, something neither of us could have been on our own. We were workmates who became closer than that. I loved knowing that, even though we were a couple, we were still very much ourselves. You weren’t asking me to change the things about myself that I didn’t want to. I loved you when they lied about you. I loved the things you gave me: the peace and the prosperity, the knowledge that in a fight you’d have my back. I loved that you saw me as odd, ill-fitting, awkward in our relationship, but you accepted what made me special, even seemed to appreciate it. With you, I could go anywhere. I loved the people you brought into my world, and loved going places with you. I heard things, tasted things, delighted in things I would never have encountered without you. If we had children, they had so many places they would have been at home, so many places they could have lived. I don’t know why I’m leaving you, but I know how it goes. I said things I can’t take back. I did things I regret. I wish things could be like they were. That’s all I want for both of us. That things could be like they used to be. But you’ll be fine without me, my love. How I’ll be, without you, I’m not so sure . . . still love Neil”