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The Friendship of Women: The Hidden Tradition of the Bible
Looking deeply into biblical stories of female friendships in order to extract greater truths, this compelling work explores the sacred dimension of friendship through the lenses of faith, tradition, and scripture, revealing the often overlooked voices and experiences of women in the Old and New Testaments. (Social Issues)
112 pages, Paperback
First published November 30, 1999
58 people are currently reading
429 people want to read
About the author
Joan D. Chittister
205 books293 followersJoan Daugherty Chittister, O.S.B., is an American Benedictine nun, theologian, author, and speaker. She has served as Benedictine prioress and Benedictine federation president, president of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, and co-chair of the Global Peace Initiative of Women.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
April 19, 2018
I ordered this book looking for something around which I could create a parish summer study group for women. Unfortunately, this does not have nearly enough substance to fill this need. This slim volume of less than 100 pages presents about a dozen female biblical figures in short chapters that pulls from the scriptural account a relational quality currently valued: empowerment, vulnerability, acceptance, encouragement, etc.
November 27, 2018
As a scholar, I completely disliked this book. The author did not describe her method of Biblical interpretation (exegesis). In fact, her writing appeared very "fluffy" and idealistic in a philosophical sense. She generalized many claims without really backing them up with sound methods or rich descriptions. Therefore, I say that others should read her book with a desire to pass time by, but I encourage readers to strongly question her writing because there is a repetitive theme of feminism latent in her statements in the epilogue.
October 31, 2023
sub par.
Felt like a stretch.
Not sure of the point of the book.
She seemed like a feminist, but than actually not at all which was confusing.
I really like the cover, but i guess never judge a…
Felt like a stretch.
Not sure of the point of the book.
She seemed like a feminist, but than actually not at all which was confusing.
I really like the cover, but i guess never judge a…
February 9, 2015
Nothing terribly wrong with the theology of this book. It's just that there really wasn't anything new or unique about it. Plus it's double spacing made it super short and lacking in content. I think I read it in about 30 minutes!
May 21, 2015
Ugh.
Not only does Chittister have a hopelessly childish reading of the scriptures, but she has little understanding of how to meaningfully present a point on the nature of friendship.
This is a polite, muddled mess.
Not only does Chittister have a hopelessly childish reading of the scriptures, but she has little understanding of how to meaningfully present a point on the nature of friendship.
This is a polite, muddled mess.
February 29, 2016
I read this in about an hour. Chittister uses the examples of biblical women to highlight different aspects of friendship. The most interesting part to me was her discussion of how the ancient world all the way up to the modern world dismissed women's relationships entirely.
January 25, 2025
Apparently did not realize that I had read this before. Still find it very interesting and helpful.
April 23, 2019
Lacked depth. Also, the generalizations about women were overly idealistic and simplistic. It would have been better with more Biblical context
March 3, 2023
This book showed me how truly blessed I am to have the friends I do, especially my closest and dearest. I remember waiting and praying for a friend as a teenager, and now, in my 20s, within every chapter I could easily claim a friend who captured the quality Chittister was deciphering. It also made me want to be a better friend and showed me the areas I needed to strive to do better. I will definitely be purchasing this book, rereading, and annotating in the future.
May 6, 2025
Short, easy read. I'm reading it as part of a small book club with friends. In true Joan fashion there are several sentences that sneak up on you as the most delightful of truth bombs.
June 1, 2025
It's more 3.5 stars, mainly because it was written in 2006 and the book is a bit dated in terms of how many books and articles have been written about the strength and values of womens' friendships. Some of the things she says about women's friendship being undervalued isn't really true anymore. Things HAVE changed. Still it's a lovely little book which reminded me of some of the sweetest, most important aspects of friendship: loyalty, shared strength, the kind of intimacy where we can share ourselves, warts and all. Drawing comparisons with women in the Bible takes it into the more spiritual realm, something that Chittister, a Benedictine nun, values.
Updated to June 1, 2025:
I don’t 100% agree that women’s friendships have been hidden until the modern age, I grew up watching and listening to my mother’s friends, knew where their friendships were forged and what they meant to my mother. But I think what Chittister was getting at was that the quality of women’s friendships hasn’t really been understood by society at large, has been more in the shadows than the stories of men’s friendships. Whatever, reading the book today was very warming, I am beyond grateful to have the friendships I do. I will quote just a bit from the end of the book:
“It is not easy to find models of women’s friendships. By and large they were not recorded, lost like so much else of the history of women to the dust of time, underestimated in their own times, unnoticed throughout time, but never far from the surface, always the collagen of the woman’s world. What we do have, however, is the knowledge emerging in our own day to speak of their value, to describe their qualities. More than that, we have models of women who embodied the best in what women value in a friend. Lydia and her love for ideas, Prisca and her sense of self, Deborah and her sustaining wisdom, Phoebe and her untiring support, Esther and her courageous leadership, Martha and her respect for truth, Veronica and her empathy, Elizabeth and her acceptance, Ruth and her unrelenting availability, Anne and her nurturance, Miriam and her abiding joy, Mary Magdalene and her undying intimacy. Out of these small shards of barely profiled lives emerge the pictures of every woman’s love.”
Chittister really reaches to find these qualities in, as she says, the very few sentences there are about most of these Biblical women. But I like the way she has illuminated what is so important about friendship, the facets of it that help us not only get through life but learn from it, enjoy it, and in illuminating it, reminded me of the importance of nurturing my friendships.
Updated to June 1, 2025:
I don’t 100% agree that women’s friendships have been hidden until the modern age, I grew up watching and listening to my mother’s friends, knew where their friendships were forged and what they meant to my mother. But I think what Chittister was getting at was that the quality of women’s friendships hasn’t really been understood by society at large, has been more in the shadows than the stories of men’s friendships. Whatever, reading the book today was very warming, I am beyond grateful to have the friendships I do. I will quote just a bit from the end of the book:
“It is not easy to find models of women’s friendships. By and large they were not recorded, lost like so much else of the history of women to the dust of time, underestimated in their own times, unnoticed throughout time, but never far from the surface, always the collagen of the woman’s world. What we do have, however, is the knowledge emerging in our own day to speak of their value, to describe their qualities. More than that, we have models of women who embodied the best in what women value in a friend. Lydia and her love for ideas, Prisca and her sense of self, Deborah and her sustaining wisdom, Phoebe and her untiring support, Esther and her courageous leadership, Martha and her respect for truth, Veronica and her empathy, Elizabeth and her acceptance, Ruth and her unrelenting availability, Anne and her nurturance, Miriam and her abiding joy, Mary Magdalene and her undying intimacy. Out of these small shards of barely profiled lives emerge the pictures of every woman’s love.”
Chittister really reaches to find these qualities in, as she says, the very few sentences there are about most of these Biblical women. But I like the way she has illuminated what is so important about friendship, the facets of it that help us not only get through life but learn from it, enjoy it, and in illuminating it, reminded me of the importance of nurturing my friendships.
August 9, 2011
When the Women’s Spirituality Group of my church chose to read this book, inquiring minds such as my own had to read it. I think I was partly bent out of shape by having been excluded from anything, but I also believe, as a personal conviction, that the minds and souls of men and women are not gendered.
The book contained reflections on the lives of twelve women from the Bible, such as Ruth, Miriam and Mary Magdalene. In many cases the details were sketchy, reflecting the coverage accorded in the scriptures, although some stories, such as those of Ruth and Esther, are book-length in the Hebrew Bible. The reflections generalized emotional and spiritual insights from Biblical stories, in the pattern of Bible study or of a Sunday sermon.
Particularly striking were the stories of Lydia, Prisca and Phoebe, who were active in the early Christian church. Lydia was a businesswoman who persuaded Paul to start his first mission in Europe in her Aegean city. Prisca was a tentmaker who assisted Paul to start the mission in Corinth. Phoebe was a deacon of the early church, and is often adduced as evidence that the clergy of the early church were not all men. These stories all reinforce for me the idea, presented by Elaine Pagels (in The Gnostic Gospels), that the predominance of men in church hierarchies did not originate with Jesus or Paul, but rather was the result of organizational turf battles in the early church, and that women by rights ought to play an equal part in any denomination.
I ended up with mixed feelings. It was refreshing and inspiring to see styles of friendship originating from the lives and experiences of women. I feel I could transform my life by their example. Yet it was annoying to run across the implication that the enlightened style is owned by women, while men own the wrong-headed approach. As someone who has had many women bosses in the corporate world, I know that there is a full range of styles among women, as well as among men. We are all full human beings, capable of adopting any emotional style we please.
The book contained reflections on the lives of twelve women from the Bible, such as Ruth, Miriam and Mary Magdalene. In many cases the details were sketchy, reflecting the coverage accorded in the scriptures, although some stories, such as those of Ruth and Esther, are book-length in the Hebrew Bible. The reflections generalized emotional and spiritual insights from Biblical stories, in the pattern of Bible study or of a Sunday sermon.
Particularly striking were the stories of Lydia, Prisca and Phoebe, who were active in the early Christian church. Lydia was a businesswoman who persuaded Paul to start his first mission in Europe in her Aegean city. Prisca was a tentmaker who assisted Paul to start the mission in Corinth. Phoebe was a deacon of the early church, and is often adduced as evidence that the clergy of the early church were not all men. These stories all reinforce for me the idea, presented by Elaine Pagels (in The Gnostic Gospels), that the predominance of men in church hierarchies did not originate with Jesus or Paul, but rather was the result of organizational turf battles in the early church, and that women by rights ought to play an equal part in any denomination.
I ended up with mixed feelings. It was refreshing and inspiring to see styles of friendship originating from the lives and experiences of women. I feel I could transform my life by their example. Yet it was annoying to run across the implication that the enlightened style is owned by women, while men own the wrong-headed approach. As someone who has had many women bosses in the corporate world, I know that there is a full range of styles among women, as well as among men. We are all full human beings, capable of adopting any emotional style we please.
September 25, 2018
Quick but compelling read. Friendship as viewed through the lives of 12 women in the Old Testament. Found it endearing and naming the Lydia’s, Deborah’s, Esther’s, etc.in my life. In fact, the best part was the surfaced
memory of great friendships from my past that served a time, and those who are static fixtures in my life.
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born” Anais Nin
The read will bring to mind your friends, and give you a new appreciation of them. It also show you how to BE a friend of worthy comparison to the women of the OT...
memory of great friendships from my past that served a time, and those who are static fixtures in my life.
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born” Anais Nin
The read will bring to mind your friends, and give you a new appreciation of them. It also show you how to BE a friend of worthy comparison to the women of the OT...
January 28, 2013
A nice set of meditations on characteristics of friendship, based on several women Biblical characters and Christian traditions, perfect for small group Bible study or personal reflection. This is not meant as a scholarly study of the women and their texts named, but is a model of applying Biblical stories and characters to how we wish to live and to understanding virtue.
December 31, 2015
Thought-provoking. I recommend reading the Biblical passages of these women as you read through these short devotional type essays. A further reading of Dee Brestin's Friendships of Women would continue this "discussion."
June 25, 2017
A biblical definition of friendship, a relatively new concept, as defined by very well known and less well know biblical women each exhibiting a particular quality of friendship as examined by Joan Chittister.
February 17, 2024
The perfect gift for your female friends of faith. Highlights the often overlooked strong women in the Bible.
July 7, 2012
Used this when writing my college thesis about the women of Genesis. Helpful.
Want to read
January 25, 2014A friend just gave this to me with a beautiful note in the front. I'm looking forward to reading it.
March 19, 2013
A short, charming book looking at twelve women mentioned in the bible, and what kind of friends they would be.
April 15, 2014
A book to savor, ponder, and celebrate!
October 19, 2014
I bought 13 copies, sent them to friends, and invited them to dinner to discuss.... Great!
January 22, 2016
Very insightful. Quotes and Biblical references were interesting. Some of the wording was a bit odd.
August 7, 2018
Sister Joan has written a wonderful commentary on the qualities of friendship. Really enjoyed it. Worth reading for the introduction alone.
May 19, 2019
A wonderful little book on women & friendship highlighting women in the bible. Thoroughly enjoyed!
October 6, 2021
Nothing new and very basic. Probably good for a middle school reading level. Two stars for lacking depth and being vague.
April 12, 2022
Quite short and not a very in-depth examination, imo. 'This woman shows this trait and you need it in your life' was pretty much the content. I was hoping for much more.
March 17, 2021
I've heard of Joan Chittister and seen her interviewed by Oprah, but this is the first book of hers that I've read. The book is thinner than I thought it would be, only 89 pages, and makes a nice book to read at a time like this (Lent). I read and reflected on one chapter per day.
She takes various women from the Bible and discusses how they represent a certain aspect of friendship. Even though the chapters are not long, she does write in a rather scholarly way - and there were times when I felt like I wasn't quite following her train of thought. It's also true that some of these women only have a line or two mention in the Bible - so she was doing quite a bit of extrapolation on their qualities and character. It's great that some people can do that - I've always been frustrated with the lack of detail in the Bible - especially when it comes to the women.
I think possibly, my favorite part of this book is the Introduction. She talks about how throughout most of history, friendship was seen primarily as a thing among men. Women were not seen as needing friends - women only needed men! I can strangely relate to this idea. My family was very traditional and having girlfriends was not really encouraged. Much more emphasis was placed on finding the right man. I always hated that.
Friendship has also meant different things over the centuries. Men have put different meanings to friendship, and as might be expected, all of them have been very different from how women define friendship.
Chittister is right that women's friendships need to be honored more. This book was written in 2006, and I think we may be seeing a bit more of what she is talking about with the invention of things like "Galentine's Day." My friends have always meant SO MUCH to me and I appreciate this very eloquent reflection on how women do friendship.
She takes various women from the Bible and discusses how they represent a certain aspect of friendship. Even though the chapters are not long, she does write in a rather scholarly way - and there were times when I felt like I wasn't quite following her train of thought. It's also true that some of these women only have a line or two mention in the Bible - so she was doing quite a bit of extrapolation on their qualities and character. It's great that some people can do that - I've always been frustrated with the lack of detail in the Bible - especially when it comes to the women.
I think possibly, my favorite part of this book is the Introduction. She talks about how throughout most of history, friendship was seen primarily as a thing among men. Women were not seen as needing friends - women only needed men! I can strangely relate to this idea. My family was very traditional and having girlfriends was not really encouraged. Much more emphasis was placed on finding the right man. I always hated that.
Friendship has also meant different things over the centuries. Men have put different meanings to friendship, and as might be expected, all of them have been very different from how women define friendship.
Chittister is right that women's friendships need to be honored more. This book was written in 2006, and I think we may be seeing a bit more of what she is talking about with the invention of things like "Galentine's Day." My friends have always meant SO MUCH to me and I appreciate this very eloquent reflection on how women do friendship.
March 6, 2021
A nice, quick read. Not what I thought it would be based on the title though. I was expecting some stories about female friendships, thinking maybe there were some biblical ones I had forgotten (as I could only think of Ruth and Naomi and Mary of Nazareth and Elizabeth off the top of my head.) Instead it was just brief character biographies of women in the Bible (and one apocryphal character) that exemplifies characteristics women should look for in their female friends. It was a really good book, especially taking into count how little there is to go on in Scripture about women and their relationships with each other, but because of that same reason, it was a theologically thin book as well.
August 31, 2021
This was given to me as a birthday book by a wonderful friend. After reading it, I in turn have given it to other wonderful women in my life.
This is one of so many gently inspiring books by Sr Joan, who at 85 has a new book coming out within days. The Friendship of Women examines what she sees as the unique nature and strength of the special bonds of women using a collection from both Testaments. My copy includes a beautiful
set of icons, with detailed explanations of their symbolism.
The Friendship of Women is a reminder to women, as we rush through our lives pursuing careers, tending our families, to appreciate the often subtle but vital role of our friends. We are blessed.
This is one of so many gently inspiring books by Sr Joan, who at 85 has a new book coming out within days. The Friendship of Women examines what she sees as the unique nature and strength of the special bonds of women using a collection from both Testaments. My copy includes a beautiful
set of icons, with detailed explanations of their symbolism.
The Friendship of Women is a reminder to women, as we rush through our lives pursuing careers, tending our families, to appreciate the often subtle but vital role of our friends. We are blessed.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews