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Mamalita: An Adoption Memoir
This gripping memoir details an ordinary American woman's quest to adopt a baby girl from Guatemala in the face of overwhelming adversity. At only 32 years old, Jessica O'Dwyer experiences early menopause, seemingly ending her chances of becoming a mother. Years later, married but childless, she comes across a photo of a two-month-old girl on a Guatemalan adoption website, and feels an instant connection.
From the get-go, Jessica and her husband face numerous and maddening obstacles. After a year of tireless efforts, Jessica finds herself abandoned by her adoption agency; undaunted, she quits her job and moves to Antigua so she can bring her little girl to live with her and wrap up the adoption, no matter what the cost. Eventually, after months of disappointments, she finesses her way through the thorny adoption process and is finally able to bring her new daughter home.
Mamalita is as much a story about the bond between a mother and child as it is about the lengths adoptive parents go to in their quest to bring their children home. At turns harrowing, heartbreaking, and inspiring, this is a classic story of the triumph of a mother's love over almost insurmountable odds.
From the get-go, Jessica and her husband face numerous and maddening obstacles. After a year of tireless efforts, Jessica finds herself abandoned by her adoption agency; undaunted, she quits her job and moves to Antigua so she can bring her little girl to live with her and wrap up the adoption, no matter what the cost. Eventually, after months of disappointments, she finesses her way through the thorny adoption process and is finally able to bring her new daughter home.
Mamalita is as much a story about the bond between a mother and child as it is about the lengths adoptive parents go to in their quest to bring their children home. At turns harrowing, heartbreaking, and inspiring, this is a classic story of the triumph of a mother's love over almost insurmountable odds.
315 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 19, 2010
4 people are currently reading
197 people want to read
About the author
Jessica O'Dwyer
2 books25 followersJessica O'Dwyer is the adoptive mother to two children born in Guatemala. Her essays have been published in the New York Times, San Francisco Chronicle Magazine, Adoptive Families, and West Marin Review. She lives in Northern California.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
November 15, 2011
Interesting that she was honest about the ways she and others paticipated in corruption when they were desperate, which is probably something unusual to read in an adoption memoir. I found the last chapter about connections with birth family absolutely moving, but was also kind of frustrated throughout that someone who didn't do her due diligence and knew very little about adoption going in was able to get a book deal out of it. Is that unfair? I don't know.
March 18, 2011
This is a seriously great and unique book. If you are interested in adoption, international travel, or Latin American culture, this will be a book to enjoy. Mamalita offered unique insight into the increasingly controversial practice of international adoption. The author is exceedingly brave in being extremely open about her adoption experience. She wasn't afraid to air some unflattering information about herself.
If you love the complicated and fascinating country of Guatemala, you will also love this book. You'll love traveling around with the author to Tikal, Atitlan, and Antigua. Her insight into political and racial relations in Guatamala is interesting and accurate.
In the end it's a touching story about a woman willing to do anything for her daughter. The final pages left me in tears.
If you love the complicated and fascinating country of Guatemala, you will also love this book. You'll love traveling around with the author to Tikal, Atitlan, and Antigua. Her insight into political and racial relations in Guatamala is interesting and accurate.
In the end it's a touching story about a woman willing to do anything for her daughter. The final pages left me in tears.
April 29, 2011
Bring tissues for the end-I was sobbing. I thought this book wouldn't engross me but it did; actually a fast read which was a surprise. It didn't matter whether I would or wouldn't do what the author did; she does a great job of bringing you emotionally into her world. She lives in Marin so we had the local angle as well.
December 16, 2024
I originally read this book back when it was newly published. I belong to a group of families that have all adopted from Guatemala. It turned out that the author lived not too far from us and we invited her to our book club discussion and she became family.
Having adopted three children from Guatemala, two before this book was written and one during the time period Jessica was in Antigua, this book held a lot of meaning for me when I originally read it. But, it was so close to the adoptions and I still knew very little about the goings on in Guatemala.
Now, 20 years later, I listened to Jessica read her book and was transported back to that time and place. I am so much more informed and aware of the nuances of Guatemalan adoptions that the meaningfulness of this book quadrupled.
Jessica is a deeply feeling person, with a strong moral compass and clear ideas of how certain things should be. I can imagine how disrupted her self identity must have been dealing with the vagaries and grey areas of the system. Knowing her now, it is not hard to see how affected she has been by what she experienced, and by what Olivia experienced.
I love Jessica as an author. Her ability to feel deeply clearly shines through in her writing. She has great empathy for all involved that also shines through. As she tells her tale, she does it so well that I feel I am right there alongside her every step of the way. Her honesty about what she experiences, feels and conflicts she comes up against give the book an authenticity that the reader can trust.
I am once again amazed at what this warrior mama went through to save her daughter and bring her home safely. Her dedication to her children, and their heritage, is only briefly shown in the book, but let me tell you, she lives and breathes adoption and Guatemala every single day.
Even if adoption has not touched your life, this story is well worth reading. It is truly a love story. Love for her husband, her daughter, her family and for herself. Her belief in her ability to fulfill her desire for a family and the rightness of it are what kept her going. How many of us give up more easily thinking we aren't deserving? Jessica knew she was on the right path. May her strength of conviction encourage all of us who aren't quite as strong. May her belief in herself convey to us that it is okay to believe in our dreams and desires, and to believe that we are worthy of pursuing them.
Having adopted three children from Guatemala, two before this book was written and one during the time period Jessica was in Antigua, this book held a lot of meaning for me when I originally read it. But, it was so close to the adoptions and I still knew very little about the goings on in Guatemala.
Now, 20 years later, I listened to Jessica read her book and was transported back to that time and place. I am so much more informed and aware of the nuances of Guatemalan adoptions that the meaningfulness of this book quadrupled.
Jessica is a deeply feeling person, with a strong moral compass and clear ideas of how certain things should be. I can imagine how disrupted her self identity must have been dealing with the vagaries and grey areas of the system. Knowing her now, it is not hard to see how affected she has been by what she experienced, and by what Olivia experienced.
I love Jessica as an author. Her ability to feel deeply clearly shines through in her writing. She has great empathy for all involved that also shines through. As she tells her tale, she does it so well that I feel I am right there alongside her every step of the way. Her honesty about what she experiences, feels and conflicts she comes up against give the book an authenticity that the reader can trust.
I am once again amazed at what this warrior mama went through to save her daughter and bring her home safely. Her dedication to her children, and their heritage, is only briefly shown in the book, but let me tell you, she lives and breathes adoption and Guatemala every single day.
Even if adoption has not touched your life, this story is well worth reading. It is truly a love story. Love for her husband, her daughter, her family and for herself. Her belief in her ability to fulfill her desire for a family and the rightness of it are what kept her going. How many of us give up more easily thinking we aren't deserving? Jessica knew she was on the right path. May her strength of conviction encourage all of us who aren't quite as strong. May her belief in herself convey to us that it is okay to believe in our dreams and desires, and to believe that we are worthy of pursuing them.
April 3, 2023
This is a beautiful memoir. Jessica and her husband pursue international adoption in Guatemala and fall in love with a perfect baby girl - only to be caught up in the corruptive details of adoption in Guatemala in the early 2000's. So, Jessica does something unreal. She uproots her life and moves to Guatemala to wait out the finalization of the adoption. I could literally see every detail of this story. It's not only beautiful, but deeply interesting and thought-provoking. Jessica does not mince words when it comes to her own misunderstandings and short-comings. This is an honest depiction of her experience and an important book to read. There's more I want to say, but I don't want to give away the ending...
July 10, 2020
I felt like I was in Guatemala, going through every twist and turn of the author's story. The descriptive details of their family's adoption story, the process, as well as the colorful descriptions of Guatemala as a beautiful and complicated country, heightened my connection to their adoption journey. Definitely worth reading to learn about the journey to parenthood through adoption, and to learn about the complex and rich history of the Guatemalan people in this insightful, wise, reflective tale.
January 29, 2022
This real life adoption story was gripping. Having gone through adoption domestic adoptions, I couldn’t always relate to her international adoption struggles but I could understand. The effort she put forth was mind-blowing and the corruption and hoops she had to jump through sounded miserable. I don’t know that I would have had the patience and persistence. Adoption is complicated but worth it because the kids need homes. I loved the ending and the photos in the back of the book… reading this has made me want to read every adoption memoir written!!!
March 16, 2023
A well written account of one mother’s Guatemalan adoption experience. As a fellow adoptive mom, I realize more and more that I had no way of knowing the depth of corruption within the adoption “business” or of the Guatemalan bureaucracy handling that business. I can only be grateful that I have my beautiful daughter and that my experience was no where near as harrowing.
May 26, 2017
Was disappointed. A friend gave it to me and enjoyed it. I thought it read like a short story that had gone too long.
September 11, 2021
Seriously disturbing but useful example of a white US adoptive parent admitting they participated in international corruption in order to adopt a child of color.
November 20, 2010
This was a wonderfully written adoption memoir. What Jessica and her husband Tim went through to adopt their daughter from Guatemala was an utter nightmare. The obstacles, red tape, lies, excuses, the denigration, and misrepresentations were unbelievable.
This memoir was part adventure story, travel story, love story and the unconditional fierce love that a mother feels for her child. Jessica was a much stronger, courageous and braver woman than she ever thought she was. To endure the heartbreaking and harrowing moments that she did, is a direct testament to her deep love for her child, Olivia.
Jessica and her husband Tim, a dermatologist, did everything their adoption broker asked them to do including submitting birth certificates, filing forms, letters all on time however, the broker (Yolanda) they had gotten themselves involved with was less than honest with them and wasn’t doing her job. I hope someone shuts people like her down! Honest, caring, loving people are going to these countries to adopt babies that no one wants, or ones that the Mom’s just can’t afford and want to see their child have a better life in America but when you end up dealing with someone like Yolanda and her contacts, it makes an already stressful task all that more taxing and traumatic.
The bond between Olivia and Jessica is unbreakable, thanks to Jessica who finally went to Guatemala in the end and stayed for an entire month! I don’t want to ruin the story and tell you where she and Tim had gone, what they did and why Jessica ultimately decided to rent an apartment there for a month.
This book was mesmerizing and I read it in one sitting, I just couldn’t put it down! Thank you Jessica for reminding us all of the children waiting for parents like you and Tim, and for reminding us that in order for some of us to receive children, someone else has to lose theirs. I applaud both you and Tim for what you have done and for what you have given your children. A new life packed full of love and the feelings of being wanted and needed.
This memoir was part adventure story, travel story, love story and the unconditional fierce love that a mother feels for her child. Jessica was a much stronger, courageous and braver woman than she ever thought she was. To endure the heartbreaking and harrowing moments that she did, is a direct testament to her deep love for her child, Olivia.
Jessica and her husband Tim, a dermatologist, did everything their adoption broker asked them to do including submitting birth certificates, filing forms, letters all on time however, the broker (Yolanda) they had gotten themselves involved with was less than honest with them and wasn’t doing her job. I hope someone shuts people like her down! Honest, caring, loving people are going to these countries to adopt babies that no one wants, or ones that the Mom’s just can’t afford and want to see their child have a better life in America but when you end up dealing with someone like Yolanda and her contacts, it makes an already stressful task all that more taxing and traumatic.
The bond between Olivia and Jessica is unbreakable, thanks to Jessica who finally went to Guatemala in the end and stayed for an entire month! I don’t want to ruin the story and tell you where she and Tim had gone, what they did and why Jessica ultimately decided to rent an apartment there for a month.
This book was mesmerizing and I read it in one sitting, I just couldn’t put it down! Thank you Jessica for reminding us all of the children waiting for parents like you and Tim, and for reminding us that in order for some of us to receive children, someone else has to lose theirs. I applaud both you and Tim for what you have done and for what you have given your children. A new life packed full of love and the feelings of being wanted and needed.
March 4, 2016
Mamalita, by Jessica O'Dwyer, was a very compelling story about the struggles of adoption. In this memoir, Jessica and her husband agree on adopting a little girl. Jessica feels drawn to adopt from the country of Guatemala because the babies adopted from that country usually get to their adopted families sooner than most countries. However, Guatemala turns out to be a bad decision as the couple learn about its system and its unreliable adoptions. My eyes were really opened to the struggles and loops involved with adoptions, especially international. The fact that the adoption culture seemed more like a business really stuck out to me. The people that Jessica and Tim were working with didn’t seem to care that they were trying to start a family, they just wanted the money. I was startled by how much money they had to pay for the adoption, which gave me a couple ideas on how I could focus on lowering the cost of adoption for my capstone project. I was also uplifted by the stories of families fighting so hard to bring their babies home, but it left me wondering if this back and forth between and adoptive family and foster family was healthy for the baby's development, another topic I could use. I was overall impressed by Jessica's story and her courageousness. I now have better insight in my capstone topic about adoptions because I have heard the details about a family's entire experience and their own emotions surrounding it. I learned more about the challenges with international adoption because of the countries' different legal systems. I have also gained more knowledge about the cost of adoption, both monetarily and emotionally. Being able to get an inside look on the process will help me while researching about the steps of adoption because I will know what families have to go through emotionally at each step.
April 26, 2014
I appreciated the raw, authentic, honesty of the author however I did not find that I enjoyed the book as much as I hoped to. Obviously, as a memoir Jessica O'Dwyer is sharing her experience and portraying that experience of a Guatemalan-US adoption as she lived it. I, therefore do not find fault in the actual story.
Perhaps, it was because I read this book as a woman who has considered adoption and wanted to know more about it. I knew there was corruption, and obviously we cannot expect to find the same level of ethics and integrity when confronted with cultural, political landscapes and economic realities that are different from the N. American experience however this book and the authors experience really made it glaringly obvious as to how much of a business international adoption has become. And THAT is was turned me off.
I found it utterly heartbreaking to really try and relate to the emotional turmoil that the adoptive families go through, and how the birth mothers and those responsible for carrying for the children prior to adoption must feel during the adoption process. And then I considered how all of these decisions drastically impact the life of a baby who is utterly oblivious to the decisions that are taking place around him and her and how those decisions will literally change every detail about the type of life they will live....and it's completely overwhelming.
My respect for all those parents, birth and adoptive has grown exponentially. Adoption is absolutely not for everyone and those that are considering adoption really need to read as many memoirs as possible in order to immerse themselves in the subject in order to make the most informed choice possible.
Perhaps, it was because I read this book as a woman who has considered adoption and wanted to know more about it. I knew there was corruption, and obviously we cannot expect to find the same level of ethics and integrity when confronted with cultural, political landscapes and economic realities that are different from the N. American experience however this book and the authors experience really made it glaringly obvious as to how much of a business international adoption has become. And THAT is was turned me off.
I found it utterly heartbreaking to really try and relate to the emotional turmoil that the adoptive families go through, and how the birth mothers and those responsible for carrying for the children prior to adoption must feel during the adoption process. And then I considered how all of these decisions drastically impact the life of a baby who is utterly oblivious to the decisions that are taking place around him and her and how those decisions will literally change every detail about the type of life they will live....and it's completely overwhelming.
My respect for all those parents, birth and adoptive has grown exponentially. Adoption is absolutely not for everyone and those that are considering adoption really need to read as many memoirs as possible in order to immerse themselves in the subject in order to make the most informed choice possible.
August 20, 2013
I'm still not sure how I feel about this book. It is the first book I've ever read about my country and its heartbreaking depiction of the maya indigenous and the poor remind me why. I think it is a good story and I admire the author for tenacity and her honesty, but at the same time, I found it judge mental and I resent her.
As I read the last pages and get to the end, I see the picture of Olivia and she looks just like my sister. Our parents were there for the civil war and we were some of those who sought refuge in the US in the 80's. my relatives still live there in those mountains and walk those dirt roads and I guess it hit a little too close for comfort.
I do recommend the book if you are looking for information and experience with adoption. I am glad Jessica never gave up on Olivia and I think it's wonderful she works so hard to make sure Olivia knows she is adopted but also loved and that she even found the birth mother and grandmother.
In our culture, the older women who take care of us get the total of mama~(name). My own grandmothers are mama Gina and mama Angelita. That Ana was the one to give her the mamalita name was beautiful.
As I read the last pages and get to the end, I see the picture of Olivia and she looks just like my sister. Our parents were there for the civil war and we were some of those who sought refuge in the US in the 80's. my relatives still live there in those mountains and walk those dirt roads and I guess it hit a little too close for comfort.
I do recommend the book if you are looking for information and experience with adoption. I am glad Jessica never gave up on Olivia and I think it's wonderful she works so hard to make sure Olivia knows she is adopted but also loved and that she even found the birth mother and grandmother.
In our culture, the older women who take care of us get the total of mama~(name). My own grandmothers are mama Gina and mama Angelita. That Ana was the one to give her the mamalita name was beautiful.
May 13, 2014
MY REVIEW:
Seal Press|October 19, 2010|Trade Paperback|ISBN: 978-1-58005-334-1
Jessica O'Dwyer is the adoptive mother of two children born in Guatemala, Olivia and, Mateo.
Jessica and her doctor husband went to hell and back trying to get their daughter out of Guatemala. It wasn't the most pleasant experience of their lives. Dealing with corrupt people, knowing who to trust and who not to trust was one of their biggest hurdles. From lost documentation to cover-ups it didn't seem as though this couple was ever going to get Olivia home to America.
The strength and courage they showed in the face of adversity and threats was humbling. Jessica eventually moved to Guatemala to live there with Olivia in the hope of expediting the process but it still took over a year to get her out of the country. The reading was riveting and I read this book in one sitting, it was an amazing story to say the least.
I commend them both on their dedication, motivation, and stamina to stay with the program against all odds. No matter what was thrown up in their faces, they trudged on and found a way through the muck and mire. Exceptional memoir!
Seal Press|October 19, 2010|Trade Paperback|ISBN: 978-1-58005-334-1
Jessica O'Dwyer is the adoptive mother of two children born in Guatemala, Olivia and, Mateo.
Jessica and her doctor husband went to hell and back trying to get their daughter out of Guatemala. It wasn't the most pleasant experience of their lives. Dealing with corrupt people, knowing who to trust and who not to trust was one of their biggest hurdles. From lost documentation to cover-ups it didn't seem as though this couple was ever going to get Olivia home to America.
The strength and courage they showed in the face of adversity and threats was humbling. Jessica eventually moved to Guatemala to live there with Olivia in the hope of expediting the process but it still took over a year to get her out of the country. The reading was riveting and I read this book in one sitting, it was an amazing story to say the least.
I commend them both on their dedication, motivation, and stamina to stay with the program against all odds. No matter what was thrown up in their faces, they trudged on and found a way through the muck and mire. Exceptional memoir!
July 28, 2013
This is a story that show just how far we will go for our children. Jessica does a great job pulling the reader into her time living in Guatemala to bring her daughter home. As a fellow adopter of a daughter of Guatemala, I was especially interested in her descriptions of what goes on behind the reception desks in a Guatemalan adoption.
If you are looking for a feel-good, quick-read, possible tear-jerker at the end this is a book for you. If you are considering international adoption from any country, I recommend this. This is not a "how-to" but a blunt account of the person you might need to become to bring your child home.
If you are looking for a feel-good, quick-read, possible tear-jerker at the end this is a book for you. If you are considering international adoption from any country, I recommend this. This is not a "how-to" but a blunt account of the person you might need to become to bring your child home.
September 13, 2012
I rarely purchase books, but since I could not find this book to borrow I broke down and bought it. I read it in about 3-4 days, which is very quick for me. As I read it I kept feeling like she was telling my own Guatemalan adoption story, only her's occured 4 years earlier. In some ways I had wish this book had been published before we decided to adopt. I wonder if we would of done things differently. On the other hand had we not experienced what we did in Guatemala would I ever think to read this book.
September 30, 2016
I enjoyed this fast read about an international adoption between the U.S. and Guatemala in several places that I have been to. The corruption aspect of adoption in Guatemala is disturbing since it relates to some of the most vulnerable people on Earth. Having to deal with it for the greater good is also disturbing. No clear answers here - people do what they have to do to get their child home. I don't know if it is good that the system is different now. Does changing the players in adoption mean it is cleaner now? I somehow doubt it.
July 10, 2011
I loved this memoir of a procedurally tough Guatemalan adoption, which I know others who've lived through. It reminded me of Love in the Driest Season. An unflinching look at both Guatemala and its corrupt systems, and at adoptive parents, besides. It's an exciting and even suspenseful read, as well, and more great exploratory inner memoir--how much is the author capable of, and how much can she take-- more than "parenting memoir."
February 10, 2012
I couldn't put this one down - I would still have really enjoyed this one even if we weren't adopting...
You really get a sense of Guatemala, the pains of adopting (from anywhere), the emotional roller coaster. I was really frustrated that she went into it so blindly... emotion definitely overshadowed ethics (and common sense!). But she was really candid about the dark side of everything, including herself.
You really get a sense of Guatemala, the pains of adopting (from anywhere), the emotional roller coaster. I was really frustrated that she went into it so blindly... emotion definitely overshadowed ethics (and common sense!). But she was really candid about the dark side of everything, including herself.
January 4, 2011
As the mom of a daughter adopted in Guatemala this was a MUST read. Jessica describes all of the emotions so well that I felt but had somehow forgotten....kind of like a mom who gave birth and forgot the pain. Reading about her visits to the offices in Guatemala where all the paperwork went was very eye-opening.
August 20, 2011
This book was good. It really made me appreciate how easy my Guatemalan adoption was. It's a very intimate look into the mind of the adoptive mother and just scratches the surface on all the emotions involved. This would be good for anyone who has ever been curious about adoption and/or Guatemala.
February 25, 2016
I love books on adoption for some reason and this one really was interesting to me as it took place in the country where I grew up and a lot of it in my town. About a North American couples hardship with the adoption proccess.
Read it on my Kindle
Read it on my Kindle
July 29, 2011
Fabulous memoir detailing a harrowing but ultimately heartwarming journey through the labyrinth of international adoption, specifically in Guatemala. Pacing was just exquisite. A well-told story very much worth reading.
July 31, 2011
I read this book as quickly as humanly possible while also being responsible for 3 kids. It was an easy, but incredible, read. I'm not sure it is for everyone, but as an adoptive mom of a Guatemalan child, I loved it!
July 9, 2012
A fast-paced and heartfelt read. I could've done with more interrogation into the complexities of international and trans racial adoption, particularly given the heinous corruption described in the book.
November 19, 2010
See our review the December 2010 issue of HS radio e- magazine (Coming out December 10, 2010) at www.harlotssauce.com
December 20, 2010
A friend gave me this book because she knows the author. Enjoyable and certainly an eye-opener to the world of international adoptions and the turmoil that can be part of that world.
January 7, 2011
Wow. Lots to say about this one.... can't say I'm satisfied with the way this author portrays corruption in Guatemalan-US adoption.
January 10, 2011
Heartbreaking and realistic. Really, a good, good good story, plus one that made me think a lot differently about parenthood.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews