With a Daughter's Eye: A Memoir of Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson

by Mary Catherine Bateson

In With a Daughter's Eye , writer and cultural anthropologist Mary Catherine Bateson looks back on her extraordinary childhood with two of the world's legendary anthropologists, Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson. This deeply human and illuminating portrait sheds new light on her parents' prodigious achievements and stands alone as an important contribution for scholars of Mead and Bateson. But for readers everywhere, this engaging, poignant, and powerful book is first and foremost a singularly candid memoir of a unique family by the only person who could have written it.

Genres: Memoir, Anthropology, Biography, Nonfiction, History, Biography Memoir, Parenting

318 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

Mary Catherine Bateson (born December 8, 1939) is an American writer and cultural anthropologist.

A graduate of the Brearley School, Bateson is the daughter of Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson.

Bateson is a noted author in her field with many published monographs. Among Bateson's books is With a Daughter's Eye: A Memoir of Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson, a recounting of her upbringing by two famous parents. She has taught at Harvard, Amherst, and George Mason University, among others.

Mary Catherine Bateson is a fellow of the International Leadership Forum and was president of the Institute for Intercultural Studies in New York until 2010.

(from Wikipedia)

Reviews

[Chris Beal · Rating 4 out of 5]

My interest in this book came from reading Euphoria by Lily King, a fictionalized account of the anthropological field trip in New Guinea in the 1930s where Reo Fortune and Margaret Mead, then husband and wife, met Gregory Bateson, whom Margaret left Reo for. Although King states in her introduction that the novel is based on this trip, the names of the characters in the novel are fictional, and the author states that she is taking liberties with the factual account of the trip. I showed King's novel to a friend for whom Gregory Bateson had been a mentor, and he pulled this memoir from his book shelf.

As the only child of Margaret and Gregory (although Gregory went on to have more children subsequent to his divorce from Margaret), Catherine has a unique perspective on these two famous personalities. The book is roughly chronological, but since Catherine's parents separated when she was still a child, most of the chapters delve into the life of either Margaret or Gregory, but not both. Since Catherine also became an anthropologist, several of the chapters covering the period after she became an adult discuss one or the other of her parents' approach to their profession. At one point, Catherine wrote a book covering a conference Gregory had organized.

I won't spoil the novel by disclosing to those who have yet to read it the differences between it and the facts as Catherine came to know them, but suffice it to say that much of the description in the novel appears to be based on extant records of the field trip. Whether the climactic scene happened is a question that remains unanswered for me. But I have to say that had I not read the novel, I would not have been so intrigued by this memoir. The pictures in the middle of the paperback edition are fascinating as well.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A mixture of a memoir/biography of her parents (Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson), and an examination of their work and theories, this was a challenging read, even with an undergraduate degree in anthropology. I could feel my brain stretching as I was reading it! At the same time it was a fascinating insight into the lives of some intriguing personalities. If you read the novel Euphoria by Lily King you will get a chance to read about the real life events which inspired it. I've had this on my "to read" pile for years and I'm glad I finally got around to reading it.

[Marilyn Boyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although there were sections in this memoir that I enjoyed, there was much I skipped over as it was presented in (to me) a slightly confusing way.
Although this is an analysis of a three way relationship, not enough is really revealed bout the author. She tries very hard to be even handed and open, and I have to praise her for it, but she seems to be a very cautious person, very careful not to step on anyone’s toes. This is an admirable trait, but keeps a true view of her parents from our sight.

Margaret Mead was likely much more manipulative, impulsive, and judgemental than Bateson shows her to be. Very hard for a child , especially during that era. She also was surprisingly traditional in her thinking other than her own desires. These traits probably warred within her, and I’m sure affected her daughter far more than we are led to believe. Gregory was also absent and occupied with new family as well.

Nonetheless, it was interesting in sections and I am going to carry on an investigation of this clan’s work. Composing a life by Bateson looks more interesting and GregoryBateson explains his theories far better than Mary Catherine does. She comes across ,however, as gentle, smart, and level headed- Not too bad for having been raised by such unconventional brilliant parents.

[Nic · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me, this has been the summer of reading about Margaret Mead. In this memoir, Mary Bateson shares the personal details of her life, and how she came to know Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson, her famous scientist parents, while growing up alongside them, and how they, in turn, influenced her. She is able to describe them with a distance gained through maturity and wisdom. I enjoyed seeing the family photos Mary includes which reflect the love Margaret shared with Gregory and Mary. This is a more personal view of Margaret, a scientist ahead of her time, who lived her life with fullness and full of love and care for everyone.

[Luke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Capable biographical memoir, intentionally capturing her personal insights into her parents lives and the varying ways they sought patterns of meaning in the world around them. Both of them are more interesting to me now, and the habits of introspection and analysis they openly developed in their daughter shine through here.

"These resonances between the personal and the professional are the source of both insight and error. You avoid mistakes and distortions not so much by trying to build a wall between the observer and the observed as by observing the observer - observing yourself [...] All light is refracted in the mind. To look through such a lens it becomes important to know the properties of the lens. This is the scientific goal of biographical work on social scientists."

[Elizabeth Roberts-Zibbel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Do not, as I did, attempt to read this book as a true biographical answer to Lily King’s “Euphoria.” There is no doubt the book was written more with an anthropologist’s eye than a daughter’s eye; though of course the author is the daughter of two famous anthropologists. Reads as dry as a case study; the author seems a bit resentful that her infancy was used almost as an experiment by her meticulous mother who was one of the first to follow Dr Spock’s more freeing instructions for child-rearing (“feed on demand,” etc). It just wasn’t for me. Maybe I’ll return to it someday, but not what I was hoping for. Are you a scientist? Go for it.

[Billie Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting glimpse into having famous parents before social media. I picked up this book after reading Euphoria to have a better idea of what was fact and what was fiction in that novel. Most of this story was readable to the lay person, but a few chapters about her dad's work and their joint compass classification went over my head which was to be expected since the author eventually found her way into the same line of work as her parents.

[Dr. Sabrina Molden · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was mostly interesting and not that enjoyable to read. The author shared lots of interesting facts and thoughts about her famous parents’ lives. However, I am left frustrated in knowing all that she certainly left out. She wrote this as a scientist and/or anthropologist would, not clearly and openly sharing her feelings about them. So, the reader is left guessing about many issues.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this because I had read Lily King's Euphoria which is based on Bateson's parents Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson. It is OK.

[Laura Ostermeyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

An outstanding memoir/biography. I highly recommend it!

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoughful and fascinating look into the family life of MCB and her famous parents.

[Stacie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderfully intriguing memoir of the family life of 3 well-known scholars. What interesting lives!

[Olga Vannucci · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a presence all around,
Parents, busy, of great reknown.

[Karen Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mary Catherine Bateson is a sensitive writer and loving daughter. I came to this book because of my continuing fascination with Margaret Mead, definitely a woman before her time. The maturity and space that Mary Catherine provided her parents to be themselves reflects that her childhood, no matter how unconventional, was marked with deep love and a sense that she was a valuable and loved human being. The anecdotes of her life with Margaret in New York will ring true for any working mother today. And, I do hope they also feel the satisfaction of knowing that in later years the daughters and sons will appreciate just how hard their parents worked to provide them with stability and the best of care. Mary Catherine Bateson died in early 2021. I am eager to read the rest of her books and learn more about her life. She is a remarkable woman who had many challenges and continue to grow throughout her years and experiences.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book club selection, and I probably would not have chosen it myself. The daughter of two famous anthropologists, Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson, had a very unconventional upbringing in a series of extended families. Repressing any anger she might have felt when her parents were away, she seems on the whole to have thrived from her experiences. She became an anthropologist herself, carving out her identity in a different area, Middle Eastern linguistics, while benefiting from conversations and ideas from her (divorced) parents. I liked least the parts about child-rearing, most the relevations about her parents' methods.

My favorite suggestion, in terms of fairness and impracticality, was that we seek common communication by translating into two languages only: one widespread language (presumably English in its various forms) and one relatively obscure one (not Chinese or Spanish, for example), on the grounds that ALL human beings struggle to learn it, on an equal basis, and not waste time on an artifical language like Esperanto or on multiple languages (the UN model and now, the EU's). This was Gregory's idea, I believe. But would anyone bother to learn the second language?

[Pammy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I previously read Lily King's EUPHORIA, loosely based on a portion of Margaret Mead's life. That drew me to read more on this fascinating & renowned anthropologist. I studied her in school, but that was LONG ago. With A DAUGHTER'S EYE is a memoir/biography by the only child of Margaret and her husband, Gregory Bateson. Thought the daughter tried to give equal billing to each parent, Margaret is obviously the higher achiever of the two.
Imagine being raised under the influence of these two (under a social theorist' microscope, as it were!) Yet the author/daughter, Mary Catherine Bates, apparently managed to thrive & succeed....in her career, marriage and as a mother.
A background in anthropology might make reading this memoir less of a challenge. It stands as a bit "wordy" for us non-social theory folks.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

A look-back at growing up with famous anthropologist parents, the dynamics changed when Catherine, herself, decided to join the field. Although she did not travel to New Guinea, Samoa, or Bali with her mother, Catherine learned at a young age to be respectful of and adaptable to different cultures. Margaret and Gregory divorced when Catherine was young, but they continued to work together throughout their lives. It seemed that Catherine walked a daughter/colleague tightrope at times, yet she loved her career. She incorporated Margaret's attention to detail and observed "...I find my thinking saturated with hers..." There's a vein of profound love running through this memoir - a unique family saga.

[Judith Leipold · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author provided lots of background and story into the lives and marriage(s) of Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson. The author was born late in 1939 but already Margaret was decades ahead of hospital norms as well as that of society. Interesting MM thoughts on childbearing and childrearing. A child of divorce, the author craftily wove her way through her parents marriage, separation and eventual divorce as well as the future relationships of both parents. After reading "Euphoria" a novel based on the meeting of MM and GB, I was ready for the real thing. I read Blackberry winter by MM with total delight. I still wanted more, so I picked this one up at the local library for "the rest of the story".

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

For the most part, I enjoyed Bateson's reflections about what it was like to grow up as the child of such extraordinary and famous parents. If I were an Anthropologist, or interested in the founding if this discipline, I would have enjoyed the book quite a bit more. Without this interest, I found that the portions of the book where she described differences in her parents' theoretical models and perspectives dragged. I did enjoy the sections that were more simply focused on the mother-child or father-child relationships. Margaret Mead's intentional choices around raising a daughter who would be free to leave her parents and to shape her own professional and personal life, were also very interesting to me.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have an interest in anthropology or social theory, this is a really interesting read. The author is the daughter of Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson (whom I'd never heard of before reading it... bad anthropology student!) and she traces her relationship with them -- both as a family and as colleagues. Both of them did a lot of work on social systems and it carried over into how they interacted with each other and with their daughter. The book presumes a certain amount of inherent fascination with theory, but just seeing how the world's most famous anthropologist raised her daughter is enough reason to pick it up. If you're into that sort of thing.

[Pat Higgins · Rating 3 out of 5]

As part of the One Book One Valley initiative in my community which focused on the novel Euphoria by Lily King, Mary Catherine Bateson, the daughter of Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson, was invited to speak about her parents' lives and the challenges of aging. Bateson is also an accomplished anthropologist and writer, and she was a delightful speaker. This memoir of her parents was an interesting read, but there were sections I skimmed that were tedious to me. If you are interested in the lives of Mead and her husbands, I recommend this book.

[Cathy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Be prepared - Mary Catherine Bateson, daughter of Margaret Mead and fellow anthroupologist Gregory Bateson - do break the ultimate taboo....yep, grown daughter (barely) and father do have sex in a tent in, I believe, Santa Cruz, Ca. Yuck - but they lived to tell the tale with quintessential ethnographic, detached participant/observer self-reporting ....I am suprised Margaret didn't kill Bateson, anyway. Now that would have been "natural"!

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting memoir by Margaret Mead's daughter describing her life in relationship to her parents. Cathy Bateson's father was Gregory Bateson who was also an anthropologist who was apparently well known. Gregory Bateson and Margaret Mead stopped living together when Cathy Bateson was about two so life with her parents had two very different threads. Both parents were very engaged with her, giving Cathy a remarkable childhood.

[Dkwallpdx · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished Euphoria and had to learn more about Margaret Mead. This looked like the best bet to cover Mead's life and shed light on how much was fiction in Euphoria. Bateson eventually became an anthropologist herself and had a unique view of her parents. A bit scholarly at times, but overall satisfying to see both of her famous parents' lives over the years.

[Jeanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Margaret Mead was her mother and Gregoy Bateson her father--so her life was remarkable and unusual. Interesting book, but wordy. This was when I got a floater in my eye and have been sad about it ever since.

[Sondra Rosier · Rating 3 out of 5]

More about how Mary was raised than about her mother. Not what I expected. Too social worky. Will read about Margaret Mead and Bateson and their their experience in New Guinea. I did not finish the book and may not finish it.

[Caterina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Recursive writing centered on the figure of the daughter, not a biography, or a history of anthropology, but rather a coming to terms with the loss of parents. (Anthropological critique comes in at the end, a welcome contextualization of the book for non specialists, though I wanted more).

[Judy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read several books by Margaret Meade, so it was interesting to read her daughter's thoughts.