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Decline and Fail: Read in Case of Political Apocalypse
'Optimism, mojo, complete bollocks. That's what the country is crying out for.'There is now only one certainty in life. When things can't possibly get any worse, they absolutely will. And so, after three years of Maybot malfunctioning and Brexit bungling, welcome to BoJo the clown's national circus - where fun for literally none of the family is guaranteed. Fear not, Decline and Fail is your personal survival guide to the ongoing political apocalypse. This unremittingly entertaining collection of John Crace's lifegiving political sketches will get you through the darkest of days - or failing that, will at least make you laugh a bit. Miss it at your peril...
248 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 5, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
March 22, 2020
Basically 300 pages of ad hominem attacks on British politicians. Not exactly essential, but much better than the preceding sentence makes it sound.
By far my favourite line: Boris Johnson is "the idiot's thinking man and the thinking man's idiot".
By far my favourite line: Boris Johnson is "the idiot's thinking man and the thinking man's idiot".
February 11, 2020
Excellent but thoroughly depressing book. Crace is great at spiking the bloated egos and liars in politics-shooting fish in a barrel. Depressing that he is so accurate about Brexit being a shitshow. His description of Johnson as a priapic Mister Blobby is up there with Private Eye's definition of him as the Babbling Fatberg of Dishonesty. Seeing that ghastly buffoon in Downing Street is an offence against everything I hold dear. I say this as a Tory of long standing.
May 28, 2020
Really really entertaining...loved it.
June 11, 2020
While not quite as funny as his 'I, Maybot' collection, this selection of Crace's sketches from March 2018 to July 2019 covers a lot of grimly humorous but also, deeply depressing ground as May is beaten down by her own inadequacies and an angry House of Commons and, once she finally, finally goes, the Tories find a new, even worse leader.
Reading it now in June 2020, the Withdrawal Agreement shenanigans and the endlessly endless bickering over Brexit feel like a lifetime ago while the sections on de Pfeffel himself stand out the most. His obvious character flaws and deficiencies - already well known as they were - are well explored and summarised.
For starters, there's his "almost psychopathic lack of remorse" and him being "a walking narcissistic personality disorder, the last remaining believer in his own genius who is oblivious to the destruction he creates." Crace also notes, "strip away the vanity and the ego and there's a giant void. A black hole of misery that he's hellbent on inflicting on others." He's also, as Crace points out "the thinking man's idiot and the idiot's thinking man."
Some of the Tory Party's most obvious simpletons come in for a kicking as well. "Quite why Nadine Dorries is so keen to parade her ignorance is a mystery - you'd have thought she'd have preferred to leave room for doubt" and there's a fantastically angry and illiterate letter, 'written by' the Samwise Gammongees of the Brexit fellowship, Mark Francois. Chris Grayling's failings obviously rate more than a few mentions too.
Crace's final words are regarding Johnson's ascension to Number 10. This, by the way should forever be the ultimate, ultimate example of the Peter Principle if ever I've seen one, since he first hit that point when he became Shadow Minister for Higher Education in 2005, a job he had no grasp of whatsoever. I know, because I saw him speak at Keele University in '06 and, aside from all his affected Wodehouseian blustering, his understanding of the issues facing universities was tracing paper-thin.
Since then, he's gone to rise to further and further heights of incompetence. Just ask Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe. The next time you're visiting people in Iranian jails.
Crace's final words (for this collection, at least) don't just ring true, they have a grim, deathly relevance right now. "Everything would be for the best in the best of all possible worlds. The Panglossian vision. The UK would be the greatest country in the universe and he would be its leader. Johnson does not lie because he thinks it is the easy thing to do. He lies because it's the only thing he knows how to do. This is the end. Beautiful friend. The end."
Reading it now in June 2020, the Withdrawal Agreement shenanigans and the endlessly endless bickering over Brexit feel like a lifetime ago while the sections on de Pfeffel himself stand out the most. His obvious character flaws and deficiencies - already well known as they were - are well explored and summarised.
For starters, there's his "almost psychopathic lack of remorse" and him being "a walking narcissistic personality disorder, the last remaining believer in his own genius who is oblivious to the destruction he creates." Crace also notes, "strip away the vanity and the ego and there's a giant void. A black hole of misery that he's hellbent on inflicting on others." He's also, as Crace points out "the thinking man's idiot and the idiot's thinking man."
Some of the Tory Party's most obvious simpletons come in for a kicking as well. "Quite why Nadine Dorries is so keen to parade her ignorance is a mystery - you'd have thought she'd have preferred to leave room for doubt" and there's a fantastically angry and illiterate letter, 'written by' the Samwise Gammongees of the Brexit fellowship, Mark Francois. Chris Grayling's failings obviously rate more than a few mentions too.
Crace's final words are regarding Johnson's ascension to Number 10. This, by the way should forever be the ultimate, ultimate example of the Peter Principle if ever I've seen one, since he first hit that point when he became Shadow Minister for Higher Education in 2005, a job he had no grasp of whatsoever. I know, because I saw him speak at Keele University in '06 and, aside from all his affected Wodehouseian blustering, his understanding of the issues facing universities was tracing paper-thin.
Since then, he's gone to rise to further and further heights of incompetence. Just ask Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe. The next time you're visiting people in Iranian jails.
Crace's final words (for this collection, at least) don't just ring true, they have a grim, deathly relevance right now. "Everything would be for the best in the best of all possible worlds. The Panglossian vision. The UK would be the greatest country in the universe and he would be its leader. Johnson does not lie because he thinks it is the easy thing to do. He lies because it's the only thing he knows how to do. This is the end. Beautiful friend. The end."
December 7, 2021
I think i want to leave the country now. I know Crace as the sketchwriter in the Guardian. Quite a lot of this content is vaguely familiar to me, but now i remember why it was vague, i so wanted to forget the last few years. This book documents the 2-3 years of the end of May from the negotiations around Brexit against the EU's completely untenable negotiating position for the UK to the coronation of Boris, who er.. took the EU's starting position as the withdrawal deal.
Sometimes, i am small and petty and enjoy mean things happening to other people. Nope this is definitely happening to us and i am mortified at the number of mugs who felt vindicated in voting for this. I struggle to even explain to friend and colleagues, often from abroad, laughing at us in the UK. I still do, and we are a few years on from where this book ends. We are literally living the Spoiler for this book if you're in the UK, outside SW1, aghast at the red wall and basically have an IQ slightly above average.
Most of this is meme worthy ad hominem attacks on leading politicians. but tbh, i just feel its pulling punches. But if you know the author, you will know the columns. For me, i enjoyed seeing and understanding a bit more of the evolution of some of the hysterical narrative, specifically how it came about that Hunt reminded us all of a airline steward instead of a bar steward.
This is a reminded, a shrill one, of how bad things were. And its the end of 2021 and people like me are just hankering for those days as the golden age.
Sometimes, i am small and petty and enjoy mean things happening to other people. Nope this is definitely happening to us and i am mortified at the number of mugs who felt vindicated in voting for this. I struggle to even explain to friend and colleagues, often from abroad, laughing at us in the UK. I still do, and we are a few years on from where this book ends. We are literally living the Spoiler for this book if you're in the UK, outside SW1, aghast at the red wall and basically have an IQ slightly above average.
Most of this is meme worthy ad hominem attacks on leading politicians. but tbh, i just feel its pulling punches. But if you know the author, you will know the columns. For me, i enjoyed seeing and understanding a bit more of the evolution of some of the hysterical narrative, specifically how it came about that Hunt reminded us all of a airline steward instead of a bar steward.
This is a reminded, a shrill one, of how bad things were. And its the end of 2021 and people like me are just hankering for those days as the golden age.
October 24, 2025
This installment of John Craces writing follows on from I Maybot. In this book the malfunctioning Maybot staggers on through the tortuous Brexit negotiations, suffering humiliation upon humiliation until finally she gives up and the Tories make Boris leader. It`s a pretty relentless pasting of several years of incompetent Tory government, such figures as Failing Grayling and Private Pike (Williamson) make (dis)honourable appearances, it`s naturally unbalanced but the fact was so many of that Tory cabinet were incapable, incompetent and simply useless. Not that Crace has much positive to say about Corbyn either but he seems to feel that Starmer played a blinder and takes the EUs side in it all really. I am not fan of Mrs May as a politician or as a person but there is a certain vindictiveness to the authors attacks on her which I don`t entirely approve of. The tortuous Brexit process was not totally down to Tory incompetence but also Labour`s refusal to pick a side, put country before party, the speakers appalling bias, the EU wishing to make an example of the UK, MPs themselves not knowing what they wanted and Cameron doing a runner.
It`s compulsive political reading in a car crash sort of manner.
It`s compulsive political reading in a car crash sort of manner.
December 10, 2021
SUMMARY - A few faux pas on the French, but the satire bites through to the core of everything wrong in the current British political establishment.
The satire generally hits the mark, and in smaller doses is a shot in the arm. Taken together, however, it errs to the repetitious (LINO, wiffle-waffle, Maybot-as-malfunctioning-Amstrad). The audiobook suffers a little too from the caricature 1990s BBC stand-up voice of the narrator, which oddly mangles pretty much any anglicised French phrase in the original. Mispronunciation of EU languages strikes an especially jarring tone in a book that deals with the stupidity of the UK leaving the Union.
I enjoyed 'I, Maybot' and for all its riffy delivery, I enjoyed 'Decline and Fail' in a similar way. Written before the slew of scandals to belatedly hit Johnson in 2021, it is also unsurprisingly prescient on what happens when a self-obsessed lying narcisist gets put in charge of a country. Even as recent history and the self-inflicted wounds of Brexit, it's odd that it now makes me feel almost nostalgic for the Maybot.
The satire generally hits the mark, and in smaller doses is a shot in the arm. Taken together, however, it errs to the repetitious (LINO, wiffle-waffle, Maybot-as-malfunctioning-Amstrad). The audiobook suffers a little too from the caricature 1990s BBC stand-up voice of the narrator, which oddly mangles pretty much any anglicised French phrase in the original. Mispronunciation of EU languages strikes an especially jarring tone in a book that deals with the stupidity of the UK leaving the Union.
I enjoyed 'I, Maybot' and for all its riffy delivery, I enjoyed 'Decline and Fail' in a similar way. Written before the slew of scandals to belatedly hit Johnson in 2021, it is also unsurprisingly prescient on what happens when a self-obsessed lying narcisist gets put in charge of a country. Even as recent history and the self-inflicted wounds of Brexit, it's odd that it now makes me feel almost nostalgic for the Maybot.
March 26, 2020
The self-coined wit of Maybot, Shroedinger’s Brexit, LINO are jokes worth making, if not worth making weekly for a whole year. Punctuated with occasional feeling and a seam of wit, this does default to the frequent line of verse inserted into a paragraph as a wry comment on the Brexit situation. However, while it often provides sharp analysis of the year in question: 2018-9, it must realise that it works better as an ongoing commentary than as a witty Hansard, as the near future provided so much change, as was evident in the shifts and repetitions in the rhetoric. The title and cover must have waited to the last minute before being confirmed, in a nod to this fact.
What it could do without, though, is the endless repetitions of Dadesque Theatre of the Absurd Sh*tstorm Clusterf*ck Trump playbook mediocrity self-harm searching for a friendly face etc. For journalism to be worth more than yesterday’s chip-paper it has to work a little harder.
What it could do without, though, is the endless repetitions of Dadesque Theatre of the Absurd Sh*tstorm Clusterf*ck Trump playbook mediocrity self-harm searching for a friendly face etc. For journalism to be worth more than yesterday’s chip-paper it has to work a little harder.
December 4, 2019
The Best of the Best
This gloriously funny and extremely timely book is a compilation of the very best of Craces work in the Grauniad. It's laugh out loud stuff even if like me you've read it before when it was first written. But it's not just funny. It's worryingly accurate. We live in strange times which,without Crace, we'd be almost completely lost! Essential reading to gain perspective on the loonies that extraordinarily populate our once even handed political landscape. And equally if not more important to preserve your sanity. Thank you John for helping me to keep mine.
This gloriously funny and extremely timely book is a compilation of the very best of Craces work in the Grauniad. It's laugh out loud stuff even if like me you've read it before when it was first written. But it's not just funny. It's worryingly accurate. We live in strange times which,without Crace, we'd be almost completely lost! Essential reading to gain perspective on the loonies that extraordinarily populate our once even handed political landscape. And equally if not more important to preserve your sanity. Thank you John for helping me to keep mine.
October 7, 2020
Brilliant, scathing, satirical, and utterly pessimistic. Got halfway through only as it ground me down. There's something so memorable about the insults and descriptions, but the value is in the pieces content read in the paper at the time of the events. Read even only a year later, it all seems a bit throwaway, too connected with the specifics of the last parliament...which now just seems so alien and far in the distant past after the last election, and covid. Will probably re-read in full post-Brexit as a reference point for "how the hell did this happen". And I don't doubt it'll prove to be important for students and historians.
January 1, 2020
A friend of mine bought me this book for Christmas. I have always thought John Crace is brilliant but this book is pure genius! It contains his political sketches (all true and satirical) from 2018 until July 2019. I laughed so much and I think he should release a follow up as we have plenty of material sadly!
If you need to laugh at the state of our political landscape, this is the book for you!
If you need to laugh at the state of our political landscape, this is the book for you!
January 14, 2020
Closer to 4.5 but having I read crace every day I remember many of the chapters as this book is a collection of his guardian column .
It's forensic and funny attacking all sides during Britain's moments of madness .
Crace maintains a consistency of tone and highlights the stupidity of UK politicians .
To read on one sitting would be draining but the collection shows the true scale of the craziness the gripped the UK.
The book is funny pointed and highlights a time I wish had never happened
It's forensic and funny attacking all sides during Britain's moments of madness .
Crace maintains a consistency of tone and highlights the stupidity of UK politicians .
To read on one sitting would be draining but the collection shows the true scale of the craziness the gripped the UK.
The book is funny pointed and highlights a time I wish had never happened
January 13, 2022
In Decline and Fail , Guardian humourist John Crace charts British political life in the post-Brexit and coronavirus era, focusing largely on attempts to eviscerate the sitting Conservative government. Whilst there is undoubtedly much for which they might justifiably be eviscerated, Crace offers nothing in the way of serious critique of the Conservatives. Instead, he builds one-dimensional stereotypes of whosoever is the Conservative villain du jour , and stampedes ahead with simple jokes on that theme, lazy and uncharitable interpretations of their behaviour and policymaking, and a general unkindness which would no doubt be unacceptable were it a right-wing critic lampooning a left-wing politician. This is, of course, in stark contrast to a sycophantic portrayal of Keir Starmer, who can do almost no wrong in Crace's eyes.
Those who have a deep hatred of anybody and everybody who has committed the mortal sin of aligning themselves with the Conservatives, and want a book to help them reinforce that, will no doubt find plenty to enjoy in Crace's attack pieces. As I don't count myself amongst that number, it wasn't the book for me. 2/10
Those who have a deep hatred of anybody and everybody who has committed the mortal sin of aligning themselves with the Conservatives, and want a book to help them reinforce that, will no doubt find plenty to enjoy in Crace's attack pieces. As I don't count myself amongst that number, it wasn't the book for me. 2/10
December 26, 2019
Great read. Very funny. Wish it was about another country though.
This is very funny and yet very sad. We are governed by liars and cheats. Incompetent liars and cheats. But it's very funny.
This is very funny and yet very sad. We are governed by liars and cheats. Incompetent liars and cheats. But it's very funny.
January 9, 2020
A very good read
A great review of a very interesting time in the history of the UK and its relationshipits relationship With EUROPE. Looking forward to his next book on what happens over the next few years of the delivery of brexit
A great review of a very interesting time in the history of the UK and its relationshipits relationship With EUROPE. Looking forward to his next book on what happens over the next few years of the delivery of brexit
March 11, 2020
Bitter & Twisted & Unsurprisingly A Guardian Author
Whatever successes a non Liberal government achieve, whether Brexit succedes or not unless it's liberal success story (Has there ever been one we wonder) this author will decry the left and right till no nose bleeds
Whatever successes a non Liberal government achieve, whether Brexit succedes or not unless it's liberal success story (Has there ever been one we wonder) this author will decry the left and right till no nose bleeds
January 12, 2020
Amusing, but not much new material.
January 18, 2020
John Crace is one of the UK’s most astute commentators at the moment. I loved this book.
August 29, 2020
I have not finished this book, put it aside for a bit and then forgot about it. Only one star because of that. What I read was very interesting .
September 22, 2020
Excellent writing previously read in The Guardian
December 13, 2020
Brilliant! I chortled my way through it!
January 18, 2021
3.5* A cynical, witty review of Theresa May’s leadership and how Brexit was handled from 2018 to 2019. (Most of this book criticises May, so I’m unsure as to why Boris Johnson is on the cover).
March 14, 2024
If it's laugh or cry at British politics, at least you can have a laugh with this book.
August 27, 2024
Shocking to be reminded just how bad it was, all with a bit of JC magic.
June 27, 2023
Quite a scathing, yet humorous assessment of the transitional phase between the May Government and the Johnson Government. Although my knowledge of Brexit is elementary at best, I did enjoy that Crace wrote in a way that the average layman could follow. It is especially amusing to listen to this on audiobook.
I did feel that Crace's assessment on May was a little too harsh, considering she had inherited a problem that she did not even create. Yet I think the Maybot references would have made more sense to me if I had read I, Maybot: The Rise and Fall. But all in all, it was entertaining, and I'm definitely eager to read (or listen to) Crace's other political sketches.
I did feel that Crace's assessment on May was a little too harsh, considering she had inherited a problem that she did not even create. Yet I think the Maybot references would have made more sense to me if I had read I, Maybot: The Rise and Fall. But all in all, it was entertaining, and I'm definitely eager to read (or listen to) Crace's other political sketches.
December 10, 2023
I enjoy his Guardian column to a reasonable degree, but reading old stuff turned out to be a bore.
One needs to have both a memory for what happened, and a lasting personal interest. I am too much of a rolling stone, and a low-effort person.
One needs to have both a memory for what happened, and a lasting personal interest. I am too much of a rolling stone, and a low-effort person.
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