Where There's A Will: Hope, Grief and Endurance in a Cycle Race Across a Continent

by Emily Chappell

'Chappell is a gifted storyteller' - Observer
In 2015 Emily Chappell embarked on a formidable new bike race: The Transcontinental. 4,000km across Europe, unassisted, in the shortest time possible.
On her first attempt she made it only halfway, waking up suddenly on her back in a field, floored by the physical and mental exertion.
A year later she entered the race again - and won.
Where There's a Will takes us into Emily Chappell's race, grinding up mountain passes and charging down the other side; snatching twenty minutes' sleep on the outskirts of a village before jumping back on the bike to surge ahead for another day; feeding in bursts and navigating on the go. We experience the crippling self-doubt of the ultra distance racer, the confusing intensity of winning and the desperation of losing a dear friend who understood all of this.

Genres: Cycling, Nonfiction, Travel, Memoir, Sports, Adventure, Biography

288 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 7, 2019

About the author

Emily Chappell is a freelance illustrator, artist and silkscreen printer based in Glasgow, Scotland.

Reviews

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been a follower of the Tour de France for three decades now. It never ceases to amaze me the limits that these guys can push themselves to, just to complete the course. Some have used artificial aids, but even with that, it is still a mammoth achievement to complete the 3000 or so kilometres.

There is another cycle race across Europe though that is twice the length of the Tour. The race is called the Transcontinental and rather than having the luxury of team members and lots of support, the entrants must cycle their way without support in the fastest time possible. Whilst the Tour takes place over three weeks and is a very fast race, the Transcontinental has one stage and four checkpoints. You’d think that they would struggle to find people to take part in this, but they do find people and those that do must be utterly mad.

Emily Chappell is one of those. She began as a cycle courier in London, but her taste for adventure transformed her into an ultra cyclist and she decided to enter this. To get across a continent in the fastest time on a bike means that you have to ignore things like sleep and sensible diets, push so far through the pain barrier that you are on the limit of doing permanent damage to your body. She made it halfway before bailing the first year that she entered. Undaunted by this, she trained hard with the guy who founded the race, Mike Hall and entered the next year.

It took her 13 days and 10 hours to cycle the 4000 miles and she won the women’s prize. She consumed countless calories every day, existed on little or no sleep and pushed her body beyond any sensible limits. As staggering as that sounds, she was still five days behind the overall winner, Kristof Allegaert. A substantial part of the book is about the platonic relationship that she had with the founder of the race, Mike Hall and the rides that they used to go out on. It is a tribute to him too and the disciple that he founded as he was tragically killed on another race in Australia.

This is one of the best cycling books that I have read in a long while. Not only is it lyrical with a strong narrative, but Chappell is searingly honest about the few highs and many lows of pushing her body well beyond any limits in this most extreme of sports. Superb book and possibly one of the best cycling books I have ever read.

[Kathrin Passig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ich weiß nicht, ob ich schon mal ein Buch gelesen habe, in dem so viel geweint wird. Es war alles sehr interessant, viel interessanter als in den mir bisher bekannten "und dann trainierte ich hart und gewann hier und triumphierte da"-Berichten.

[Cliff M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly well written for a ‘cycling book’. Emily could write anything and make it come to life. A rare talent. She has an admirable ability to be completely honest at all times about feelings that most of us hide from the world as a matter of course.
A shocking event towards the end of the book elevates this from being a tale of incredible endurance into being something else. Something much more important. The person involved couldn’t have asked for a better testament.

[Martha☀ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chappell's phenomenal ability as a cyclist is overshadowed only by her writing prowess. As she recounts her three attempts at the TransContinental race (4000+ km across Europe) and other mammoth cycling endevours, she lays bare the physical and emotional toll that such events take. She is able to unpack a vast range of emotions in a way that truly touched me. She made me recall the emotional depths I have experienced during my own endurance pursuits but which I tucked away and hid from myself, unable to flesh out nor ever put into coherent thoughts. But ... here they are - my thoughts, explained to me.

She has a deep respect for her body's ability to perform during training and events and she explains how she has to wait for a certain synchronicity to occur. And when it does, she flies over summits and valley floors, needing neither food nor rest, with an effortlessness that is enviable and which allows her to win races.

But, of course, that melding of body and mind doesn't always happen, making each pedal stroke an unfathomable effort and each thought a poison to her ultimate purpose. She has made me see that an athlete who wins is an athlete who has self-doubts, loathing and a deep sense of unworthiness. Even upon crossing that finish line, Chappell continues to give credit to dumb luck or circumstance, rather than her strength and strategy.

Her exploration of grief, after losing her beloved mentor to an in-race bike-vs-car crash, is applicable to all grief. Those last chapters have meaning for all of us who have lost:

And sometimes it was nothing to do with him. I wept indiscriminately at sad films, happy endings, tragic news stories and photos of other people's weddings. I was in touch not so much with my own feelings as with everyone else's, a helpless conduit for all of the emotion in the world

I don't usually rate biographies or memoirs as I cannot place judgement on someone's life but this exceptional book is truly a 5-star piece of writing. There are some gorgeous passages within. Here are a few of my very favourites:

For an instant, I knew what I should have known all along: that riding the Transcontinental was simply something I wanted to do, rather than underpinning my entire character and worth. It meant so much less than I'd thought.

(beginning with a quote from Reinhold Messner)"I can scarcely go on. No despair, no happiness, no anxiety. I have not lost the mastery of my feelings, there are actually no more feelings. I consist only of will." Maybe that was the stage I had reached - no energy left for any thought of feeling apart from the will to go on. I went on. It was all there was to do.

(post TransCon finish) ... so his recovery would be more advanced than the rest of the men, who were draped about the benches and masonry of this small urban square like a pride of lions in the midday heat.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be my favorite endurance cycling memoir of any that I've read. Emily Chappell's writing is beautiful, her imagery compelling, and she succinctly captures a depth and range of emotions that we all experience in these endeavors.

[Frauke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope that I'll meet Emily one day. What a woman and oh my can she write. Loved every page of it. She's able to describe her experiences without making me feel weak or a lesser cyclist. Thank you.

[Cordelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a moving and beautiful account from a real fucking incredible woman

[Michael Lennon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Faultless

[Zachary Kjellberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

As I've been getting more interested in ultra cycling, I decided to pick up this book. Often, we glamourize these events due to the adventure and extreme challenge, but due to the high tempo, it is hard to get perspective on what the riders go through.

I enjoyed hearing Emily's experience, starting as a bike courier, and then joining ultra races, surprised by her results. It was also wonderful hearing of her friendship with Mike Hall, evolving into training partners, encounters during races, and then the horrific experience of hearing of his passing.

The book highlights the brutality of these races, due to the extreme mental and physical fatigue of racing such a lengthy event. Emily shares her experiences battling the wear and tear on mind, body, and bike. She highlights the difficult situations that can occur on such lengthy routes, where logistics can become a major worry, such as bike failures riding across mountains. Even the simplicity of luck with bike tubes. It highlights the raw challenge the incredible events demand.

Ultra Athletes are a rare breed and this book gives a wonderful perspective of the limits pushed on these adventures.

I removed a star, as I lost some momentum in the middle of the book, but still found it a wonderful read.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fan of cycling and a keen cyclist myself, this book appealed to me from the outset. In it, the author recounts her exploits, and hardcore long distance adventures as a bike courier and racing cyclist.

The story is told honestly, warts-and-all from Chappell’s perspective, and it is so refreshing for an author to write about taboo subjects, seemingly without a second thought. (Periods whilst on a stupidly long bike ride, anyone?)

It documents the highs and lows of her training and her subsequent race, her drop to despair and how she copes when the race is over, and what comes next.

No spoilers, but this is not a book to read if you are lacking in emotional resilience. It was difficult to not get swept up in the story and I found my empathy for the author very real, especially at the end.

If you want a book to inspire you, this is the one.

[Charlotte Kramer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book because it really took me along and is so well written! It made me want to take my bike immediately and explore (in less extreme ways - I'm only a very recreational cyclist). Emily also writes honestly about certain feelings and thoughts that I don't think I've come across very often in a book. And although I have not been in the same situations, they touched me very much. She's a great writer and seems an amazing human. I wish the book never ended.

And if you happened to have been a dot watcher for the Indy-pac, you might appreciate this book even more.

[Kira Laktionov · Rating 3 out of 5]

The books by athletes about athletes are amazing when it comes about their enormous devotion to the sport, the way they cope with wins and losings, bear emotional ups and downs and end up being people we know. What I feel this book lacked is the way Emily prepared for her endurance races and events, as I believe it might have taken about 80% of effort. It is also about willing to perform and willing to stand against your fears, anxieties, andbasic human weaknesses. What this book does good is it motivates one to jump up on a saddle and spin for another hundred kilometers.

[Jule · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Why aren't you here?
Someone else was living in his house now -- (...) and the ice and mud of winter were long gone. The hedgerows blossomed and bustled, and the sunlight retreated up the wooded hillsides as I followed the valley towards Bwlch-y-Sarnau, wondering if I'd make it home before nightfall, still wanting to tell Mike about the scent of the wild garlic, and the swallows that were beginning to hurtle past my bedroom window as they returned home from their long journey.
'You should just tell him anyway,' said Juliana, who was more practiced at these things."

🖤

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

My daughter Samantha bought me this book for Christmas. I have been very excited to read it and I was not let down. I gobbled it up! Just the sort of story that I love to read about. Endurance cycling is fascinating to me. Also, so sad portions of this book where cyclists are killed. I'm very happy to be introduced to endurance cycling through this book and I'm looking forward to reading others on a similar theme.

[Ron S · Rating 3 out of 5]

Former bike courier turned ultra racer Chappell writes about her experiences racing The Transcontinental (Belgium to Istanbul in an unsupported, choose your own adventure format) and her relationship with race founder and fellow cyclist Mike Hall.

[David Freeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good story with a very sad ending. Emily writes very well. What a cyclist though.

[George Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awe inspiring, well crafted and puts into words lots of things about cycling that I find impossible to normally!🚲

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pre-ordered copy arrived and took over my “down time” for the next two days. Non-cyclists might find it hard to comprehend the enormity of the challenges Emily took on. Cyclists may feel something of the experiences she had, and suffered, and will read in awe. Long distance riders (as I once was) might find themselves emotional, and somewhat jealous of her, and also grieving for loss of strength and capacity brought on by the passing of the years. Emily writes with a fluidity and purpose, her words create images and bring back memories of youth. A tremendous book

[George1st · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have not ridden a bicycle for many years but nevertheless I became totally immersed in adventure seeker Emily Chappell's account of the challenges she faced while undertaking her passion for cycling very long distances. The main narrative centres on her participation in The Transcontinental which is a single stage 4,000 mile race across Europe with four mandatory control points which guide the route and where each rider plan, research and navigate their own course and choose when and where to rest.

Emily graphically describes the sheer determination, will power and resolution that is needed to complete this arduous journey .Having little sleep and eating and drinking when you can Emily will be pushed to the limit both physically and mentally. But just as important is knowing when to give up and on her first attempt due to illness this is what she must do.

This is a book that is a lot more then just endurance long distance bike races for Emily provides a honest account of her life and the full range of emotions that she experiences both on and off the saddle. The most poignant section concerns the sad and tragic death while riding in Australia of the founder of The Transcontinental Mike Hall and the effect it had on Emily. If you are looking for a book where the author looks into her very soul while pushing herself to the very limits of her being then this is for you. Well worth a read.

[Jessica Luther · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read Chappell's memoir in preparation for interviewing her for the feminist sports podcast I co-host, Burn It All Down. You can hear that interview on Episode 142: https://www.burnitalldownpod.com/episodes/142.

It's beautifully written. You don't have to care about ultra-endurance cycle to be invested in this story, especially when you make it 2/3 of the way through and realize that the book does not end on the high of Chappell's career (winning the 4000K trans-European cycling race, the Transcontinental). She offers a glimpse into the after of it, a time in her life filled with unexpected grief and how she got through it.

[George · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a lot of great cycling in this book, but that’s not what makes it noteworthy. In addition to a page-turning account of her experiences on the epic Transcontinental Race, Chappell provides us with a window into the emotional side of endurance cycling and loss following the death of her friend Mike Hall. This book about accomplishing ambitious goals while plagued by self doubt should appeal to cyclists and no-cyclists alike.

[Anna McNuff · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is SO beautifully written. It’s less about the physical pain of enduring a self-supported bike race across Europe and more about the mental struggles that we all go through - in everyday life and when facing the loss of someone we love. Think Amy Liptrot’s Outrun, meets Dervla Murphy’s Full Tilt.

[Rickie Franklin · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you like hearing about long bike rides or overcoming challenges, the struggles while doing them, long adventures, imposter syndrome, or failure, then you will like this book. It also touches on travel and food if you're also into that.

"The arrival of a friend made me feel a little more like I belonged here"

If you aren't from the UK or in the biking community, there may be words you don't know and that a dictionary may not be able to tell you, so don't worry if you struggle.

"Often, when I read of a new round-the-world record, or when a roadie friend would boast about the 200km sportive he was training for that summer, I would think of the audaxers, many of whom will quite happily cover 400 miles in a weekend, before heading back to work on Monday morning, simply because they claim to enjoy it."

This is one of those books that has certain parts that suck you in, and you want to continue reading, so keep an eye on the time.

"I was still doing it, I reminded myself. As long as I kept moving forward, even if I was walking, even if I had to stop every five minutes, I was still in the race, and I would make it to the top of the mountain, no matter how long it took."

"Anticipating the moments of panic I knew I’d experience later on in the ride, when I’d convince myself that I was a failure and didn’t even deserve to be there, I told myself that, as long as I was riding my bike, however slowly, I was doing it, and I was on my way to finishing the Transcontinental, no matter how long that might take."

While I understand why certain stories were included, I felt some could have been removed to shorten the book or make it easier to keep track of everything.

There is a very sudden end to this book before the epilogue.

"people would find my persistence inspiring if I carried on regardless. I didn’t tell her that the very thought of that made my stomach clench."

[Mike Langan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Transcontinental is a 4,000km unassisted bike race across Europe. In other words, the rider is totally self-reliant with the only requirement that he or she checks into the various appointed check-points along the route.

Emily Chappell embarked on this formidable challenge. She made it half-way on her first attempt but entered again a year later and won.

The book doesn't pull any punches or try to glamorize the race. The descriptions of physical discomfort and mental exertion bring home the effort, dedication and never-say-die attitude required to even complete the race not to mind winning it. All without a support team.

The book provides an insight into the mind of a singularly determined and driven individual with great candour and heart.

Anybody who has ridden a bike or tested themselves in other sports will appreciate and wince at the descriptions relating to the effort required to conquer the mountain passes, the dangers encountered in charging down the other side, especially if the rider has only snatched an hour or so sleep in the past twenty four hours; the mental toughness required to force yourself onto the bike knowing you face a repeat of yesterday's self-inflicted torture; feeding as and when you can and all while trying to navigate through foreign lands over remote and often gravel roads.

The book also deals with the camaraderie and single mindedness of the individuals who attempt the challenge and doesn't hide the depression that often follows completion of the challenge.

An excellent read, well written; forget the biographies of 21 year old mega-rich footballers; this is what sport, personality, heart, determination and skill is all about.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her second book, Emily invites the reader to follow her in the 2015 and 2016 Transcontinental Races. The Transcontinental, or TCR, is a self-supported bike race from one end of Europe to the other, approximately 4,000km long. Approximately, because each rider devises their own route, threaded between several mandatory checkpoints which are often at the top of mountain passes.

These riders can become slightly god-like to the average cyclist, with their feats of endurance and willingness to suffer seeming like such a leap from the every day. As such, it’s a delight to the reader that Where There’s a Will reveals Emily is indeed human. She writes beautifully, making you feel as if you’re riding along with her in the mountains, in the storms, through the night.

Emily’s athletic achievements are part of the book for sure, but I would wager that someone not especially interested in cycling would still find this a gripping read. Emily is brutally honest about the highs and lows, and I appreciated that the book didn’t finish with the end of her TCR race. The writing of the relationship with her mentor and friend, and on the grief of loss, elevates this beyond being another sporting memoir.

[Tim Palfreman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book. It describes the cycling exploits of Emily Chappell over about 3 years as she twice enters the Trans-Continental cycle race, finishing and winning it at her second attempt, as well as racing in other events.

I’m not a cyclist, though as an ultra-runner I was fascinated by her mental and physical approach to ultra-cycling. However, it was two other things which for me elevated this book above typical sports/ adventure books. Firstly, she is a gifted writer, her beautiful descriptions of the countryside she passes through, and of her own mental states are exceptionally vivid. Secondly, her descriptions of her friendship and her grief reaction to the death of a close cycling friend while he was racing are incredibly poignant. She manages to both analyse her own emotions and convey them authentically in a remarkable way as she searches for a way through her grief. It was very moving, but I was also relieved when the book ends with a hope of better times ahead.

I’m feeling inspired to pump up my tyres, oil my drive chain and get out on my bike for the first time in 5 years 😊

[Ian · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who rides cycles both as a weekend leisure cyclist and tourist this book simply had me awestruck. The thought of riding 300km per day for 13 days with very little sleep is so far from my own expectations that it is almost incomprehensible. Chappell offers a no nonsense, honest account of riding the Transcontinental written in a very accessible style. This is not a technical cycling book but simply a wonderfully written exploration of human endurance and incredible mental strength. Undoubtedly one of the best cycling books I have ever read. In addition to the trials of taking part in a gruelling race Chappell also opens her heart to explore the pain and emotions of losing a dear friend. Chapeau Ms Chappell

[Marta · Rating 4 out of 5]

An unlikely journey of a London bike courier turned ultra-endurance cyclist. She writes with candour about her experiences fending off depression, as well as the emotional ups and downs - tempered with reason and massive fortitude to just brush it all aside and continue - during her first Transcontinental race. I liked this book because there is no hero complex - no aim for her to come up on top and all ultra-unbeatable at the end of every day. It is a very human and perhaps by comparison to other ultra-stories out there, appears as a subdued affair. But if you pay attention to the words, there is a lot there. She is a very good writer on what happens in her mind when the body is truly pushed to the limits and beyond.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐ This was so helpful to read ahead of my longest cycle yet and first event (just 45 miles). I didn't finish the book in time, ahead of the event, but I made it!

I found myself getting lost at some points. I am still unclear on whether she won a race, why she dropped out of some, and what happened when she got disqualified.

More importantly though, Emily's determination is captivating. Her grief was touching and thoughtfully and respectfully shared. My driving test is coming up and I wanted to read this before my test; her anecdotes are honest and gripping. Ironically the crash occurred after I picked the book back up ahead of my driving test. Safety will continue to be my priority as a driver going forward...

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written description of the mental and physical challenges of extreme endurance activities. I felt it fell to pieces towards the end after the death of Mike Hall.
I know well the pain of riding 250 km on a bike. It's hard to imagine where riders like Emily get the strength to continue for day after day.
One thing that concern me is that these activities are being followed by huge numbers of armchair observers which puts pressure on the athletes to continue even when injured. I don't think that people pushing themselves beyond their limits should be for personal discovery and not be a sport