Middle School Bites

Middle School Bites #1

by Steven Banks, Mark Fearing (Illustrator)

Tom is desperate to fit in at school, but he's hungry and howling, not to mention half dead. Blame it on the vampire - and the werewolf - and the zombie - in this monstrously funny new series from SpongeBob SquarePants head writer Steven Banks.

"Fast! Funny! Fresh!" - Chris Grabenstein, #1 New York Times best-selling author of the Mr. Lemoncello's Library series

"What are you waiting for? Open this book right now!" - Tom Angleberger, New York Times best-selling author of the Origami Yoda series

Thanks to a series of unfortunate bites, eleven-year-old Tom is a triple threat; he's a Vam-Wolf-Zom. And just in time for the first day of middle school. So much for his Invisible Tom Plan. He never thought to make a What If I Turn Into A Vampire Werewolf Zombie Plan. Maybe it's time for a Run Away and Live Somewhere Else Plan?

With the help of his irrepressible best friend, Zeke, Tom tries to accept his future. Zeke thinks being a Vam-Wolf-Zom sounds EXCELLENT! (Zeke thinks everything sounds EXCELLENT!) At least he'll be able to stand up to the sixth-grade bully. The question is will the rest of Hamilton Middle School accept the Vam-Wolf-Zom, too?

Tom's toothsome saga is illustrated with clever, cartoon-style art on every spread. Created by an Emmy-nominated writer for SpongeBob, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, and CatDog, this new series is perfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and The Last Kids on Earth. EXCELLENT!

Genres: Humor, Fantasy, Middle Grade, Horror, School, Audiobook, Monsters

297 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 4, 2020

About the author

Steven Banks has numerous writing and acting credits. He has been a head writer for several Nickelodeon series including "The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron", "The Fairly Odd Parents", "CatDog", and "Sponge Bob Square Pants". His play, "Love Tapes," co-written with Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller fame), was recently performed at the Sacred Fools Theater in Hollywood. And he created, wrote, produced, and starred as himself in "The Steven Banks Show," a comedy series which aired on PBS in the 90s.

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

For me, the second it hits September 1, it's Halloween season. I start reading any sort of spooky, monsterish sort of book I can get my hands on. Scary, funny, cute....I don't care what sort. If it's Halloween-y in any way -- it's at the top of my TBR.

Since I just finished a pretty heavy adult horror novel, I decided to enjoy a middle grade audiobook to give my brain a bit of a break. Something cute, but still that touch of spooky :) Middle School Bites is perfect for a spooky read with a big dose of humor and cuteness!

Tom is just starting middle school. He's worried about the usual stuff -- bullies, being embarrassed, etc. But just before school starts, Tom gets bitten.....not once....but three times. How can a kid survive middle school if he's a Vam-Wolf-Zom?? It's a trifecta that Tom could never have planned for.....

What a cute book! It reminds me a lot of the Last Kids on Earth Series...but there is a reason for that. Robbie Daymond narrates the audiobooks for both series! I love his voice acting in the Last Kids books....and he was great on this one too!

Fun series! I have the second book Middle School Bites: Tom Bites Back on hold at my public library. Can't wait to listen to it! There's a bit of a waiting list....but that just means other people are loving this series too!

*I voluntarily read a review copy of this book from Holiday House Publishing, and listened to an audio book copy from my public library. All opinions expressed are totally my own.**

[Shaye Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

This lighthearted audiobook was just what a needed after a difficult week of real life events. Fun fiction and witty voice! Middle schooler, Tom, is experiencing some unique feelings and cravings. He's constantly hungry, he can see well in the dark, and he accidentally howls right in the middle of class. Could it be that he's a Vam-Wolf-Zom? I mean, there was that weird bite he never identified. The narration was great in this one and I'll definitely keep going if this series continues!

For more children's literature, middle grade literature, and YA literature reviews, feel free to visit my personal blog at The Miller Memo!

[Mehsi · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you thought middle school was tough, then think again! Tom is starting his middle school adventures while being a vampire/zombie/werewolf. Yup.


I was instantly curious about the premise. I mean, we have had books with kids being one of those and starting school, but I haven’t seen a book in which a kid has the misfortune to be bitten by three creatures in one day. Haha. Yep. So I was curious how this would go on and what 1/3 of everything meant in the department of what he could do. Would he need blood? Would he change into a werewolf? Would he need brains?

Meet Tom, a boy who is about the start middle school and before that decides to visit grandma. He already has a history of being bitten by everything when he visits, but this time it gets more extreme. I laughed so much and wondered how one boy could have this much bad luck. Out of the 3 he could have avoided at least one, but hey. This is Tom. 😛 We see how he struggles with the reality of being all three and also tries to manoeuvre through middle school. Both are not easy for him. Thankfully, his best friend Zeke (who was slightly annoying at times) is there to help him out.

I had such a laugh at how hungry he was. He just kept eating. Next to eating we see he is quite strong (lifting his bed up with ease). There are also other perks, sadly, outwardly he just looks like roadkill (sorry, Tom, but that is the truth). I loved seeing him figure out what was going on and what happened to him. I loved seeing him become more comfortable in what he was, though at times you could see it was too much for him. Tom is a very likeable character, you are just rooting for him.

Unlike many books, he tells his parents after a while what is going on. Well, OK, it was kind of forced, but at least he told the truth. I had a big laugh on what he had to do to convince his parents, but when he had them convinced I was just so happy with his parents and how supportive they were and the plans they made. It was just fantastic. I am not sure how I felt about telling the whole town/school, but eh, I guess people need to know just in case and also to know why Tom looks like roadkill.

There are a ton of other characters, like Annie (Tom’s crush and future wife (according to him)) who was really sweet and I like how despite all that happened she didn’t go away from Tom. Or Abel, who was superinteresting and I have some suspicions…. I hope to get some answers on that in the next book. Zeke was OK, but annoying and should really get the hint for once.

But there are two reasons why I am rating this book 4 stars and not the 4.5 or even 5 stars I wanted to rate it when I started and when things got good. One is that bully at school who was just the most horrendous person and I wonder why the school wasn’t stepping up more. There were a few times that things seemed to look up, but then other things would happen and he would just continue with his insults, threats, and yes, violence. The second one, and that person I found even worse than the bully, is Emma. Tom’s sister and toxic as fuck. I am sorry for cursing but dang that girl was horrendous, terrible, and what the fuck is wrong with you girl? I mean, I get it brothers and sisters aren’t going be clicking at all times, but this girl? She was just terrible. Constantly lying, constantly saying things that weren’t nice to her brother, and later on when she learns what he has become she wants to stake him, kill him, and other things that just had me shocked. This is still your brother. What the hell is wrong with you? She is toxic as hell and I hope she disappears in the next book or features a way smaller role.

The cliffhanger, ARGH.

The illustrations were pretty well done, I do like the style. It fits well with the story/the book.

All in all, I laughed so hard and I just flew through this book. Really. Before I knew it the book was over. I would recommend this all to everyone who wants to see what happens when a boy has the misfortune to be bitten by not one but three creatures and laugh their butt off at the adventures that follow.

Review first posted at https://twirlingbookprincess.com/

[Mari Bianco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review from my eight-year-old daughter, Brooklyn: “This book is so cool and awesome and amazing and awesome and amazing and cool! I need to know what happens next. Can you order the next book RIGHT NOW, or can we go to the library after school? Pleeeaaassseee! I can’t wait!”

Thanks for an EXCELLENT book, Steven Banks. We both can’t wait to devour the next story of Tom’s life as a vam-wolf-zom!

[Xochitl]

i swear i read this for an actual child… i just happened to laugh at the preview and sat and read the entire book… hope he likes it

[Gregg Millman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun, fast read -- read it with my 10 year old son. As soon as we finished, he was dying to read the sequel (which is thankfully coming out next month!). So there is no higher praise than a kid desperate to read the next book in the series. A great mix of supernatural fantasy with humor and a grounded depiction of middle school life. Loved main kid's rivalry with his mean older sister. Quirky, engaging characters, like the main character's oddball friends. Very excited to read Book 2.

[Nicole M. Hewitt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review and many more can be found on my blog: Feed Your Fiction Addiction

This is one of those middle grade reads that almost never takes itself seriously---which only adds to the fun! One day while Tom is visiting his grandmother, he ends up getting bitten by a vampire and then bitten by a werewolf and finally a zombie---all without realizing it! Yep, he's bitten by the vampire in bat form while sleeping, he thinks the werewolf is a dog, and he assumes the zombie is just a fake carnie prop when he "scrapes" his hand on its tooth. So, he doesn't realize what's going on the next day when he's suddenly a little too hairy, sensitive to the sun and goes from super strong to sluggish at the drop of a hat.

By the time Tom finally figures out what's happening, he's already made a mess of a bunch of things. But really, that's what middle school is all about, right? Honestly, the whole story is just an unapologetically goofy metaphor for middle school in general and some of the wonders of puberty---didn't we all feel like misfit monsters at some point or another during that time? I love the way that the story ends up too---it all unfolds in some quirky and unexpected ways! A purely entertaining reading experience!

[Cindy Mitchell *Kiss the Book* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Middle School Bites by Steven Banks, 298 pages, Holiday House, 2020, $14.

Language: PG (8 swears); Mature Content G; Violence: G

BUYING ADVISORY: EL, MS – ESSENTIAL

AUDIENCE APPEAL: HIGH

Eleven-year old Tom has the total misfortune of getting bitten three different times while visiting his grandmother’s house just days before his first week of middle school. Turns out he was bitten by a werewolf, a vampire, and a zombie. Needless to say, Tom’s first day of school isn’t as great as he had envisioned, especially since he had envisioned being invisible. Fortunately, Tom has his best friend, Zeke, who thinks everything is excellent, including being friends with a Vam-Wolf-Zom. But Tom is wondering how he can impress the girl of his dreams while wearing an inch of sunscreen to keep the sun from burning, craving rare steaks, and growing pointy ears.

Fun humor. Tom is a barrel of middle school angst, and his older sister Emma is a teenage girl totally wrapped up in herself, which means she totally annoys Tom but is great character. If you like Sponge Bob, this is your book, since Steven Banks was the head writer for that series. The illustrations in the book add to Tom’s wild ride and you will be glad you rode along.

Michelle in the Middle
https://kissthebook.blogspot.com/2020...

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this as an ARC from the publisher (or was it the company we order books from? Can't remember) sent to the library where I work. I was chosen to see whether this one was worthy of our shelves.

I didn't find it AS funny as I was hoping (the description had all of my coworkers cracking up), I think because I expected the effortless humor of Spongebob (which the author had written for previously) to be transferred to this storyline. I mean it had a great setup, perfect for goofy over-the-top humor...but it just didn't happen 100%. The illustrations were some of the best parts of this book, and I often found myself laughing out loud at them. Some of the characters and the dialogue between them was pretty funny, but I think overall I was let down by the more simplistic writing in between the dialogue because it hampered the humor for me.

Yes, I know it's actually a book for kids, not 29yr olds who work in libraries, but this 29yr old often reads children's books for pleasure, so I'm not going to say it COULDN'T have been written any other way. I hope the series matures a bit as it goes on because it really does have potential.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this as an ARC from the publisher for review purposes. (And am woefully behind on my reading)

Cover: Excellent. This is surely going to grab the attention of young readers.

Description/Topic: Also, a good attention-grabber.

Writing Style: This is not my cup of cocoa at all. I thought this was a bit repetitive and choppy. But I am also reading this from the viewpoint of an adult (albeit one who reads a lot of kids books). That being said, the majority of your kids are going to find this writing style very accessible. It hits the kids style very well.

Illustrations: Always nice to have some illustrations interspersed in a book like this. Sure to find fans of the illustrated fiction style.

[Becky B · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tom's middle school life is off to a rough start, and oddly enough, that has very little to do with the class bully still being at his school despite rumors he was moving this year. Nope. See, the day before middle school started Tom was bitten by a bat, a wolf, and scratched by a strange creature at a gas station that may or may not have been a zombie. Then his skin gets pale, he looks a bit...deathly ill, he doesn't appear in mirrors or his mom's first day of school photo of him and his sister, he's ravenously hungry, blood smells delicious, and he can deadlift his bed over his head. Middle school was looking rough enough, but how in the world is he going to survive it as a Vam-Wolf-Zom!?

This will appeal to the middle school reader who wants a slightly ridiculous tale mixed with normal middle school issues. Tom is a likable kid and feels like he could be someone you'd know. His bites don't make him out of control or monstrous (he's not tempted to bite anyone), they just make him slightly different. I was sad that Tom and his older teen sister don't get along, but I know they definitely reflect some real siblings. The ending surprised me with the direction it went, but I liked it his parents fully embrace him being a Vam-Wolf-Zom and decide to do a school assembly to make others aware of Tom's unique issues, so his condition isn't a secret as most books would try to keep it. I know exactly who to hand this to as soon as it is cataloged, and I'm sure I'll need the other books in the series for readers too.

Notes on content: No swearing, though a bully calls Tom and others unkind names. No sexual content. No violence. There are tense situations, and the bully puts Tom in a trash can, and to get kids to leave the class nerd alone Tom says he'll tear out their throats (though it should be very clear to the reader Tom would never do that). The bully and Tom get suspensions for their actions. Tom wrings out a rare steak to drink the blood, but that's the only blood he goes for.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just as the previous series, Eighth Grade Bites: The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod by Heather Brewer, follows an eighth grade vampire as he deals with the perils of being both a vampire and a middle grader, this new series and title demonstrate that the middle grades may be likened to the challenges of dealing with one's new monstrous identity. In this book, eleven-year-old Tom Marks has a history of being unlucky and being bit by a wide range of animals. But just before the start of his middle grade career, he sustains bites from three different creatures, resulting in his transformation into a vampire, a werewolf, and a zombie. Talk about a bad start to school. With his best friend, Zeke, by his side, Tom does his best to seem normal, and while being a blood-thirsty being has its challenges, he comes to realize that it also has its advantages. Maybe, just maybe, it will keep the class bully, Tanner Gantt, at bay. Despite its subject matter, this book is filled with humor and a relatable protagonist. I would certainly read the next installment of his adventures. This will certainly suit the reading tastes of many middle graders.

[SmaranDantuluri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is honestly great. In my opinion this book would most likely appeal to people who like school dramas and supernatural books. This book showcases how the life of middle schooler Tom changes after he turns into a vampire, zombie, and a werewolf. The book showcases his worries and how he has to hide his secret from everyone he knows except his friend Zeke. Eventually though Tom cant hide anymore and he tells his parents. His parents later organize an assembly with the school to show them that he is indeed a vampire, werewolf, and zombie. His school life changes even more now. He can now showcase his power and he almost stops his bully, Tanner Grant, from beating him up. He sadly fails. Near the ending of the book Tom gets suspended trying to stand up for the kid he shares a locker with, Abel. The reason this happened was because Tom had threatened the kids. The book ends with him going to his grandmas house at the end of the first week of school and at her house in night a bat flies into Tom's room and smiles. It then asks him if it can come in and the book ends with a cliffhanger.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tom is already pretty nervous about starting middle school thanks to his sister's taunts. The day and night before school starts, Tom is bitten 3 times. Gram takes him to the hospital fearing rabies from a possible bat bite. After his first shot, Tom is ready to go home. When he wakes up the next day, everything is weird. He's starving. He has huge bags under his eyes. He can smell everything. He's sensitive to light. It becomes apparent that those weren't regular bug or animal bites. Tom was bitten by a vampire, then a werewolf, and finally a zombie. Funny and definitely a compelling series starter. There are some characters who've been hinted at as either being more involved in later books or at least knowing more than they have let on. Can Tom start to control his abilities, or is he at the mercy of them? While it's 300 pages, it's a fast read with a lot of dialogue and action. For fans of the supernatural.

[Teresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laughed out loud several times.

Over the top saga of a middle schoooler's weird first days after he gets bitten by three beasts at his hippie grandma's house and becomes the first Vam-wolf-zom. His friend Zeke tries to help with ridiculous plans, and his parents are clueless ("Stop that, you two!") but ultimately helpful. His dad: "I always wanted to..." His sister is a classic older sister.

“You’re going to have good days and bad days your whole life. How you deal with them is up to you.” Grandma's advice. Cool lady

Plans: How can he get the cute girl to fulfill his girlfriend plan--which he hasn't told her yet... Invisible Tom (complete failure). Many others...

Gets suspended for threatening to rip out the throats of potential bullies of his locker-mate, the suit-wearing, secret karate master Abel. His bully, Tanner Gannt, has issues with his parents.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this one up at my local library because I am on a mission to read every book written or illustrated by Mark Fearing.

His ability to create such a wide variety of pictures in great detail is simply amazing.

Each chapter of Middle School Bites starts with a silhouette of a scary creature, and the rest of the illustrations are absolutely hilarious. They perfectly complement the story of Tom's journey through becoming a vam-wolf-zom and his encounters with other students and his family's dynamics.

My favorite part was probably when Abel showed off some surprising skills!

This is a cool book! 5/5 stars.

[Caroline]

A funny thing happens when it feels like the world is falling apart - suddenly, completely contrary to 25 years of evidence, the only things I want to read are really funny (potentially dumb) books. During a normal year, I would probably mentally file this book in a *good to recommend, probably will never read* category. But I'm stressed and things are sucky and I needed a book that didn't make me think and this was the book I needed. Ya know?

[Bonnie Grover · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You’re going to have good days and bad days your whole life. How you deal with them is up to you.” After being bitten by a bat, a werewolf and a zombie, 11 year-old Tom has more than the ordinary middle school trouble on his hands. It’s a good thing he has a great best friend to help him because being a Vam-Wolf-Zom is no easy job.
This was a fun read! I think my students are going to enjoy reading it.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The horrors of starting middle school, compounded by normal hormones, compounded by being bitten by a vampire, a werewolf AND a zombie. Despite the monsters, this partly Graphic Novel is very silly, along the lines of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", or "The Last Kids on Earth". On a deeper level, it's really about adjusting to middle school, raging hormones, bullying, and changes in interpersonal relationships. And who is really the monster at the end: him, or his nasty, self-involved older sister?

[Sean Harding · Rating 5 out of 5]

Banks Notes #1
Middle School Bites #1
First in a series about kid who gets bitten several times and becomes vampire, werewolf and zombie.
The quibble: I've never really got into the oh I've got to be cool now I am in X class and getting all worked up about it, but aside from this section -
The story was a cracking yarn and slowly built into the story and it looks like it even might go places and add more depth.
Some really interesting side characters help as well.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every time Tom visits his Grandmother he gets bit by something. This visit, he gets bit by 3 somethings and tomorrow he starts Middle School. A charming and funny, exaggerated example of how,(I imagine), most middle schoolers feel. Book one in a middle grade series that ends with the best 4 words ever!

[Jim Prevott · Rating 4 out of 5]

for the audiobook. Interesting and fun story. Eleven year old Tom is getting ready to brave middle school and hopes he can host for in and be normal. Get the girl he admires, avoid the bully who tormented him about through grade school. But his life in an interesting series of events works to make him even more unique. Becoming the first vampire-werewolf-zombie hybrid.

[Anthony · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eleven year old Tom Marks is looking forward to attending middle school, but during a visit to his grandmother's, and after being bitten by a bat, and a wild dog, and scratched by what appears to be a zombie has brought about some changes to Tom, and his life at Hamilton Middle School and home will never be the same again.

[Coral Smith]

A hilarious tale where Tom is visiting his grandma and in one night get bit by a bat, a wolf, and scratched by a zombie. He is starting middle school 2 days after staying with his grandma and he starts to notice things are different. Can you imagine starting middle school while at the same time you are becoming a vampire, werewolf and zombie?

[Pat · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a lighthearted, humorous, entertaining read. I think it would appeal to Diary of a Wimpy Kid fans (although I admit I've never read Diary of a Wimpy Kid). It appealed to this 56-year-old adult in need of a laugh or two.

[C.W. Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book. I loved the idea behind Tom being 3 different creatures at once. The fact that all three things that changed him happened on the same day was also great. I cannot wait to read the next book in the series.

[Srikar Thella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this book five stars because it kept me interested wanted to keep reading. This book was filled with humor that kept it interesting and really made the conflict and solution clear. Most of the book I read did not have the plot to keep me interested but this book did.

[John · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly amusing.

[Cindy Christiansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Giggled my way through!

[Nicole Heckel · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5