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Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly
Former Secret Service agent and star of Bravo’s Spy Games Evy Poumpouras shares lessons learned from protecting presidents, as well insights and skills from the oldest and most elite security force in the world to help you prepare for stressful situations, instantly read people, influence how you are perceived, and live a more fearless life.
Becoming Bulletproof means transforming yourself into a stronger, more confident, and more powerful person. Evy Poumpouras—former Secret Service agent to three presidents and one of only five women to receive the Medal of Valor—demonstrates how we can overcome our everyday fears, have difficult conversations, know who to trust and who might not have our best interests at heart, influence situations, and prepare for the unexpected. When you have become bulletproof, you are your best, most courageous, and most powerful version of you. Poumpouras shows us that ultimately true strength is found in the mind, not the body.
Courage involves facing our fears, but it is also about resilience, grit, and having a built-in BS detector and knowing how to use it. In Becoming Bulletproof, Poumpouras demonstrates how to heighten our natural instincts to employ all these qualities and move from fear to fearlessness.
Becoming Bulletproof means transforming yourself into a stronger, more confident, and more powerful person. Evy Poumpouras—former Secret Service agent to three presidents and one of only five women to receive the Medal of Valor—demonstrates how we can overcome our everyday fears, have difficult conversations, know who to trust and who might not have our best interests at heart, influence situations, and prepare for the unexpected. When you have become bulletproof, you are your best, most courageous, and most powerful version of you. Poumpouras shows us that ultimately true strength is found in the mind, not the body.
Courage involves facing our fears, but it is also about resilience, grit, and having a built-in BS detector and knowing how to use it. In Becoming Bulletproof, Poumpouras demonstrates how to heighten our natural instincts to employ all these qualities and move from fear to fearlessness.
320 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 21, 2020
4427 people are currently reading
27381 people want to read
About the author
Evy Poumpouras
6 books551 followersEvy Poumpouras is a former United States Secret Service Special Agent, co-host on Bravo TV's series Spy Games, author of Becoming Bulletproof, and national media contributor who covers national security, law enforcement and crime. Evy has an MA in Forensic Psychology and an MS in Journalism from Columbia University. She is an adjunct lecturer for the City University of New York where she teaches Criminal Justice and Criminology. Evy is also the recipient of the Valor Award - the Secret Service's highest honor for her acts of heroism on September 11th.
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June 13, 2024
The will to survive is fundamental to us all. But in a life-or-death situation—when calm, careful planning, and logical thinking are what’s needed most—research shows that most of us will lose our shit.Evy Poumpouras is one tough broad. And she would like to help you become tough too. Of course, she wasn’t always as tough as she is today. Growing up a working-class kid in Queens, she lived in a world of restrictions. You can’t go here, or there, and certainly not there. She was even deprived of a chance to go Brooklyn Tech High School, one of the elite specialty high schools in the New York City Public School system, because her parents did not think it was safe for her to go to Brooklyn. She says that not wanting to live in fear was a motivating force in her eagerness to pursue a career in law enforcement, which she did, first with the NYC Police Department, and then with the US Secret Service, where she served for a dozen years.
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Being able to navigate your mental and physical response to fear is your number one survival skill. It can also be the best ally you have in any intimidating situation life throws at you. Managing your fear requires deliberate acts of courage. It is a choice that you make, and it’s one that everyone is capable of making.
Evy Poumpouras - image from her Instagram pages
The book opens with her in the World Trade Center on 9/11, which she uses as an example of how training can come to the fore in a life and death situation.
…when it seems like the world is ending, being willing to help others is the antidote to fearShe was awarded a Medal of Valor for her actions that day. The tale of her experiences there is both chilling and uplifting.
There are two basic streams in Becoming Bulletproof. The first is the author’s memoir of seeking out a career in law enforcement and ultimately capping that with years of work in the Secret Service. This was fascinating, offering a look at what it really takes to become a cop or an agent in the USSS. In 2020 she co-hosted on Bravo’s reality series Spy Games. This last item is not given space in the book.
She uses the challenges she faced in her career, having to overcome social, mental, and physical barriers, and just learning what agents learn, to reinforce the self-help message she is promoting. And that is the other stream here. Poumpouras writes about protecting yourself physically and mentally, and shows how you can influence others, and how others try to influence you.
She writes about the three-F response to major stress, Fight, Flight, or Freeze. She offers sage advice on how to prepare for potentially stressful situations, and shows you how to dampen unhelpful reactions. There is excellent intel here on the importance of keeping on the move, whether coping with a shooter or a conversationally hostile actor. She even offers very useful information on securing your home.
One of the things that self-help books offer is a quick way to get from here to there. In the case of Bulletproof, the author aims to show you how to become more inured to, and better prepared to cope with, the challenges life can throw at you, whether that might be an assassin attempting to take out the person you are protecting, or dealing with unpleasant people on line who attempt to draw you into no-win situations. The advice certainly seems reasonable enough. But, as with any such counsel, it can be a big leap from taking in some words on the page, and putting those words into action in a meaningful way. She writes of the hormetic effect of exposing yourself (or being exposed) to increasing levels of stress in order to build up a tolerance, so that when you are faced with a really stressful situation, you will be able to cope and not fall to pieces.
This book is rich with the patois of the self-help genre – attitude, positivity, taking ownership, accepting responsibility, never giving up. There is a great list of suggestions for things to do and check when travelling, particularly abroad. But some seem bromitic, along the lines of “don’t let it throw you.” The bottom line for most self-help efforts is that it all comes down to the will of the reader. The advice can be divided into two categories, external actions you can take, things you can do that are pretty manageable and mostly a question of investing time and/or money. Others entail more personal challenges, and require more of a personal investment. The best advice in the world will not be particularly helpful if you lack the will to do what is suggested to achieve the desired results. There are enough specific suggestions here, however, that can be implemented, that can be learned, that it seems a worthwhile read even if you are not up to implementing all the recommedations.
Sometimes, the advice could use a bit more nuance. For instance, there is a recommendation that one make eye contact when someone is making you feel uncomfortable. As many of us who have grown up in large cities (as the author did) can attest, it is often better to avoid eye contact, as eye contact is the route a certain sort of predator (or crazy person) uses to get you to stop moving, or to engage, when you really do not want to engage. Not all of us can rely on our well-honed combat skills to help us should our visual challenge to a predator be taken up.
She offers excellent advice on how to handle yourself in an interview, as in when you are interviewing a suspect, the techniques also being quite useful when engaged in conversations in which you have a particular goal you want to achieve, whether persuading a person of something, or finding out something from or about them. She has a particularly sharp approach to getting a sense of when someone is lying, whether a suspect or your significant other. This is bolstered by an incisive description of body language, (aka paralinguistics) and how you can both use and interpret it. She honed this skill when she was an interrogator with the Secret Service.
Of more interest, for me, anyway, is Poumpouras’s descriptions of preparations that are needed to make sure that this or that venue or travel route is safe for the VIP du jour, whether that be a member of the administration (or their families) or a foreign dignitary. Really interesting behind the scenes take there. There is a similar to-do list for regular folks planning foreign travel. I would definitely check that out.
Evy Poumpouras with then First Lady Michelle Obama - image from InStyle
In keeping with tradition, this agent did not listen and tell. Loose lips may sink ships, and may be what makes DC go round, but you will be disappointed if you are hoping for dirt on the presidents (or other people) she has helped protect. She does, however, include a section near the end of the book in which she reports on some of the more laudable qualities manifested by those under her protection. It does not take a career in law enforcement to come up with some conclusions about which of these people she esteems more than others.
While I was hoping that a higher percentage of the book would be on behind-the-scenes gossip and technique, there is still enough of that here (technique, not gossip). You will learn a bit about the Secret Service, which is a wonderful thing. Who doesn’t love learning something about a real world organization with the word “Secret” in its name? Poumpouras can indeed help you better defend yourself in the world, even if you do not take her up on all her recommendations. While she does not exactly exude warmth, I am not sure that is necessarily a desirable trait, anyway, in a book about hardening your defenses. Still, she comes across as a very real, very understandable person, someone who knows a lot and is eager to share.
Becoming Bulletproof may or may not keep you from taking an incoming, but it can certainly improve your chances of being out of the line of fire.
Review posted – May 1, 2020
Publication date – April 21, 2020
I received an ARE of this book from Atria, in return for…well, it seems that I am not allowed to tell you what I gave in exchange, if anything. Something about state secrets. But I can let you reach reasonable conclusions based on the evidence above. Ok? Can I say that? You will be stronger for having figured it out for yourself.
=============================EXTRA STUFF
Links to the author’s personal, Twitter, Instagram and FB pages
Interviews
-----Women of Impact - Former Secret Service Agent Shows You How to Get The Truth Out of Anyone | Evy Poumpouras - Lisa Bilyeu - Fun stuff on Sixth Sense – not in the book, and much more - this is a wonderful, longish interview, that will be well worth your time. If you watch only one interview it should be this one
-----Steve TV - Evy Poumpouras Protects the President - with Steve Harvey – nice bit on physically protecting POTUS, but Harvey demonstrates his shallowness at the end of the segment
-----MSN - Evy Poumpouras Was Ready To Face Death On 9/11
Songs/Music
-----The Police - Every Breath You Take
-----Sinatra - Someone to Watch Ove Me
Items of Interest
-----Spy Games
-----People Magazine - Meet the Secret Service Agent Turned Bravo Star Helping Workers on the Coronavirus Frontlines
January 20, 2022
From how to spot a liar to how to buy the right door—WTF?
Self-help books really aren’t my thang, but my best friend gave me this book so I wanted to read it right away. It was a mixed bag. Happy some, whining more.
The writer is a badass woman. She used to be a Secret Service agent who protected both Bush presidents, and Clinton and Obama. Right there, I’m hooked. The book is about how to deal with fear, how to read people, how to recognize liars, how to be a liar, how to influence people. The story is peppered with too-brief stories about the author’s life—give me a heavier dose of these, pretty please.
Joy Jar
-Absolutely loved when the author recounted her days as a Secret Service agent, as well as when she told other anecdotes about her life. I gobbled them up. She had something (good) to say about the presidents and First Ladies, and I was all ears when she gave us peeks into their personalities.
-The author is a good writer, so her personal stories are vivid and powerful.
-Who doesn’t want to learn how to lie? I can’t keep a damn poker face no matter how hard I try, so those pages sure drew me right in. (I’m sure they won’t change my M.O., but it was still fun to read about how to lie.)
-And who doesn’t want to learn how to tell if someone is lying? Oh, I loved getting this secret info! I do think I can apply some of what I learned here.
-I love to read any book that deals with psychology. The Psych minor in me sits alert, waiting for insights. And the author is definitely insightful when it comes to understanding what’s in people’s heads.
-The writer is incredibly detailed. She covers every aspect of every topic she addresses. I liked how thorough she is (some of the time, that is).
-The book opens with the author standing, shocked, right at the World Trade Towers, as they crumbled on 9/11. Very powerful intro.
-Loved the frequent “Research shows…” The author came up with many cool tidbits. For example, if a prospective boss asks you to hold their cup of coffee, he or she is priming you to have a good interview. The warmth of the coffee warms you up and the scene itself, all cozy-like (iced tea would have the opposite effect). Totally weird and wonderful morsel of info.
-In the 70s, someone told me never to trust anyone if you could see white surrounding their eyeballs. They showed me a picture that got imprinted in my brain, and it creeped me out. This weird eyeball thing is called san pa ku, and the sound of the term combined with its creepy look made me think of voodoo. For decades, I’ve been secretly looking for this odd eyeball deal in people, and whenever I find it—the iris floating like that, white both on top and bottom—I worry that the person is, well, bad. I only saw it a few times, and you can bet your bottom buttons that I ran the other way. Could I trust them, lol? Well, lo and behold, the author talked about this! Turns out that san pa ku is a Japanese term. God how I love the sound of it! The author didn’t say not to trust anyone with san pa ku, phew, so I can stop with that—sounds like I had been told some voodoo superstition?! But according to the author, this eye funny can be a good indicator that a person is under stress. Ha, I had thought it was a permanent condition, something you were born with; nice to learn it’s temporary. I’m just glad that when I’m stressed (which happens to be a lot of the time), my eyeballs don’t go all san pa ku. Eek, at least I don’t think they do! This is a very long way of saying the author gets beaucoup points for including san pa ku. I never thought I’d hear about it; it was just some dreamy memory that I mentioned to no one. I loved being able to recall it and finally learn the truth about it.
Complaint Board
-I know I’ve mentioned it a zillion times already, but I just can’t shut up about it: I wanted more more more of her personal stories. They were a tease.
-I OD’d on all the how-to’s and all their excruciating details. Seems that everywhere I turned, the author was stoically bossing me around. Maybe I was just having an authority reaction, lol, but never mind my psychology. I needed one of my own how-to’s: how to get through a book that’s annoying the hell out of me.
-The opener about 9/11 was powerful, but it was a bait and switch. I thought I’d get more stories of harrowing experiences she endured as a Secret Service agent, but instead it turned into self-help blah blah blah almost right away.
-I hated the self-helpy voice. Self-help books sort of talk in monotone, all flat and robotic, and this one is no exception. Give me some up and down voice, goddamn it!
-The author tells you how to influence people. You have to be aware of everything about yourself—like clothes, voice, body position. She even discusses every single feature on your face, with a heading. I mean, she has sections called “The Mouth,” “Smile,” “Laughter” and I’m not kidding. (I told you she was thorough!) Although this info was interesting, it also seemed unrealistic in parts. I mean, seriously, are you really going to be able to slow down your speech, change you tone, etc.? Looks good on paper, but can people really change such basic things about themselves? And even just reading about how to present myself made me very self-conscious. I can’t imagine trying to do it for real. It made me long for good old spontaneity.
-I really really didn’t need to see a picture of a DOOR and learn about its construction and technical parts!! On and on the author went, about hinges and other things my mind refused to remember. There were even illustrations! Seriously, that was in the first section, where she talks about making your environment safe. It suddenly (and only for a very brief time, thank god) turned into a technical instruction manual. And am I ever going to go out and buy new doors? No. Did I need an illustrated section devoted to doors? No.
-Speaking of doors, the whole first section is about fear and self-protection. I dare you not to feel paranoid after reading about that! I will now be checking out entrances and egresses whenever I see a building, but I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
-Cliched and redundant in parts. A lot of obvious tips. Sorry. I know that’s harsh, but I cannot lie.
-It felt like I was reading this book forever. In real life it wasn’t that long, but tell that to my head.
-It felt like a chore to read. Wait, wait, wait—it definitely had a lot of cool parts to it, so I feel guilty calling it a chore. But that was how I felt whenever I was about to pick the book up. Sigh, “This again. Please hurry up and be done so I can run over to fiction-land, where I am so comfy and fascinated!” I probably should stick to my own favorite genres, gift or no gift.
My friend gave this book 5 stars; she loved every second of it. But I’m a fiction junkie, and I’m a tough customer when it comes to nonfiction. If you feed me personal stories, I’m jazzed, but keep shouting a zillion tips into my ears and I want to run. It’s a good book, though. If you like this genre, I’m betting you’ll love this book.
Self-help books really aren’t my thang, but my best friend gave me this book so I wanted to read it right away. It was a mixed bag. Happy some, whining more.
The writer is a badass woman. She used to be a Secret Service agent who protected both Bush presidents, and Clinton and Obama. Right there, I’m hooked. The book is about how to deal with fear, how to read people, how to recognize liars, how to be a liar, how to influence people. The story is peppered with too-brief stories about the author’s life—give me a heavier dose of these, pretty please.
Joy Jar
-Absolutely loved when the author recounted her days as a Secret Service agent, as well as when she told other anecdotes about her life. I gobbled them up. She had something (good) to say about the presidents and First Ladies, and I was all ears when she gave us peeks into their personalities.
-The author is a good writer, so her personal stories are vivid and powerful.
-Who doesn’t want to learn how to lie? I can’t keep a damn poker face no matter how hard I try, so those pages sure drew me right in. (I’m sure they won’t change my M.O., but it was still fun to read about how to lie.)
-And who doesn’t want to learn how to tell if someone is lying? Oh, I loved getting this secret info! I do think I can apply some of what I learned here.
-I love to read any book that deals with psychology. The Psych minor in me sits alert, waiting for insights. And the author is definitely insightful when it comes to understanding what’s in people’s heads.
-The writer is incredibly detailed. She covers every aspect of every topic she addresses. I liked how thorough she is (some of the time, that is).
-The book opens with the author standing, shocked, right at the World Trade Towers, as they crumbled on 9/11. Very powerful intro.
-Loved the frequent “Research shows…” The author came up with many cool tidbits. For example, if a prospective boss asks you to hold their cup of coffee, he or she is priming you to have a good interview. The warmth of the coffee warms you up and the scene itself, all cozy-like (iced tea would have the opposite effect). Totally weird and wonderful morsel of info.
-In the 70s, someone told me never to trust anyone if you could see white surrounding their eyeballs. They showed me a picture that got imprinted in my brain, and it creeped me out. This weird eyeball thing is called san pa ku, and the sound of the term combined with its creepy look made me think of voodoo. For decades, I’ve been secretly looking for this odd eyeball deal in people, and whenever I find it—the iris floating like that, white both on top and bottom—I worry that the person is, well, bad. I only saw it a few times, and you can bet your bottom buttons that I ran the other way. Could I trust them, lol? Well, lo and behold, the author talked about this! Turns out that san pa ku is a Japanese term. God how I love the sound of it! The author didn’t say not to trust anyone with san pa ku, phew, so I can stop with that—sounds like I had been told some voodoo superstition?! But according to the author, this eye funny can be a good indicator that a person is under stress. Ha, I had thought it was a permanent condition, something you were born with; nice to learn it’s temporary. I’m just glad that when I’m stressed (which happens to be a lot of the time), my eyeballs don’t go all san pa ku. Eek, at least I don’t think they do! This is a very long way of saying the author gets beaucoup points for including san pa ku. I never thought I’d hear about it; it was just some dreamy memory that I mentioned to no one. I loved being able to recall it and finally learn the truth about it.
Complaint Board
-I know I’ve mentioned it a zillion times already, but I just can’t shut up about it: I wanted more more more of her personal stories. They were a tease.
-I OD’d on all the how-to’s and all their excruciating details. Seems that everywhere I turned, the author was stoically bossing me around. Maybe I was just having an authority reaction, lol, but never mind my psychology. I needed one of my own how-to’s: how to get through a book that’s annoying the hell out of me.
-The opener about 9/11 was powerful, but it was a bait and switch. I thought I’d get more stories of harrowing experiences she endured as a Secret Service agent, but instead it turned into self-help blah blah blah almost right away.
-I hated the self-helpy voice. Self-help books sort of talk in monotone, all flat and robotic, and this one is no exception. Give me some up and down voice, goddamn it!
-The author tells you how to influence people. You have to be aware of everything about yourself—like clothes, voice, body position. She even discusses every single feature on your face, with a heading. I mean, she has sections called “The Mouth,” “Smile,” “Laughter” and I’m not kidding. (I told you she was thorough!) Although this info was interesting, it also seemed unrealistic in parts. I mean, seriously, are you really going to be able to slow down your speech, change you tone, etc.? Looks good on paper, but can people really change such basic things about themselves? And even just reading about how to present myself made me very self-conscious. I can’t imagine trying to do it for real. It made me long for good old spontaneity.
-I really really didn’t need to see a picture of a DOOR and learn about its construction and technical parts!! On and on the author went, about hinges and other things my mind refused to remember. There were even illustrations! Seriously, that was in the first section, where she talks about making your environment safe. It suddenly (and only for a very brief time, thank god) turned into a technical instruction manual. And am I ever going to go out and buy new doors? No. Did I need an illustrated section devoted to doors? No.
-Speaking of doors, the whole first section is about fear and self-protection. I dare you not to feel paranoid after reading about that! I will now be checking out entrances and egresses whenever I see a building, but I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.
-Cliched and redundant in parts. A lot of obvious tips. Sorry. I know that’s harsh, but I cannot lie.
-It felt like I was reading this book forever. In real life it wasn’t that long, but tell that to my head.
-It felt like a chore to read. Wait, wait, wait—it definitely had a lot of cool parts to it, so I feel guilty calling it a chore. But that was how I felt whenever I was about to pick the book up. Sigh, “This again. Please hurry up and be done so I can run over to fiction-land, where I am so comfy and fascinated!” I probably should stick to my own favorite genres, gift or no gift.
My friend gave this book 5 stars; she loved every second of it. But I’m a fiction junkie, and I’m a tough customer when it comes to nonfiction. If you feed me personal stories, I’m jazzed, but keep shouting a zillion tips into my ears and I want to run. It’s a good book, though. If you like this genre, I’m betting you’ll love this book.
March 5, 2020
A very good read. Not at all like most of the self-help books you will read. No, this author has "walked the walk", so she has the experiences to back up her advice.
A former US Secret Service officer, she was assigned to protect three Presidents, and also earned a Medal of Valor. She also was a crack polygraph examiner.
The book is easy to read. The flow of the book is good, each chapter building on what you have learned in the previous. The author knows how to tell a good story, and to use the episode to illustrate a lesson she is trying to instill in the reader. And she summarizes each point well.
Where I think the book really shines is in the second section, where she teaches you how to read people. People would be surprised, I believe, if they realized how much a polygraph reader learns about you before you are even hooked up to "the machine". The insights the author gives here are worth the read by themselves. As a retired law enforcement officer, I can acknowledge that her insights work well in reading people. I used many of them myself, but was also pleasantly surprised by reading several that I didn't know. These tips will help anyone in their personal as well as their professional life. Imagine being able to decipher what that teenage child of yours is really saying between their words. Or in reading a fellow employee's moods better. Or in understanding your boss better. Or being able to pick up on subtle clues when one of the former is lying to you. All of these tips can be applied to your own life!
The author not only tells you how to better read others, she gives you advice on how people are reading you. How you can better present yourself to the boss, or a potential suitor. I learned several things in this part of the book.
The author ends the book talking about "being Presidential". She illustrates things that impressed her about Presidents and First Ladies that she has been assigned to protect. No tawdry gossip, just things she observed that could help anyone be a better person.
Finally, she wraps up the book with her advice on becoming "bulletproof". To be bulletproof is to find the strength to bear the unbearable. To face the worst honestly, humbly, and courageously. And her advice on heroism. "Heroism is quiet". It's not about being the biggest, baddest, or strongest. It's about realizing that when it comes right down to it, the person you have to rely on to protect you is you. "You are the hero you've been waiting for".
I would recommend this book to anyone curious about others. Anyone who is interested in improving their own outlook on life, and willing to try to get there.
Kudos to the author. And I really want to thank her for her service.
A former US Secret Service officer, she was assigned to protect three Presidents, and also earned a Medal of Valor. She also was a crack polygraph examiner.
The book is easy to read. The flow of the book is good, each chapter building on what you have learned in the previous. The author knows how to tell a good story, and to use the episode to illustrate a lesson she is trying to instill in the reader. And she summarizes each point well.
Where I think the book really shines is in the second section, where she teaches you how to read people. People would be surprised, I believe, if they realized how much a polygraph reader learns about you before you are even hooked up to "the machine". The insights the author gives here are worth the read by themselves. As a retired law enforcement officer, I can acknowledge that her insights work well in reading people. I used many of them myself, but was also pleasantly surprised by reading several that I didn't know. These tips will help anyone in their personal as well as their professional life. Imagine being able to decipher what that teenage child of yours is really saying between their words. Or in reading a fellow employee's moods better. Or in understanding your boss better. Or being able to pick up on subtle clues when one of the former is lying to you. All of these tips can be applied to your own life!
The author not only tells you how to better read others, she gives you advice on how people are reading you. How you can better present yourself to the boss, or a potential suitor. I learned several things in this part of the book.
The author ends the book talking about "being Presidential". She illustrates things that impressed her about Presidents and First Ladies that she has been assigned to protect. No tawdry gossip, just things she observed that could help anyone be a better person.
Finally, she wraps up the book with her advice on becoming "bulletproof". To be bulletproof is to find the strength to bear the unbearable. To face the worst honestly, humbly, and courageously. And her advice on heroism. "Heroism is quiet". It's not about being the biggest, baddest, or strongest. It's about realizing that when it comes right down to it, the person you have to rely on to protect you is you. "You are the hero you've been waiting for".
I would recommend this book to anyone curious about others. Anyone who is interested in improving their own outlook on life, and willing to try to get there.
Kudos to the author. And I really want to thank her for her service.
August 9, 2024
A good piece! I found the book in between 3 and 4 🌟. Informative and practical. Honorable life experience though ... protecting her commander in chief and having a significant impact by serving and influencing the secret service program to a great degree..
A well deserved, richly merited and worthy of a medal of Valor career. Have listened to some of her interviews 🗣 (Well spoken ), one of the reasons that made me grab and read her book too. More of an Autobiography genre than Self-Help, Versatile, light read and worthy of a production for a cinematic experience in my opinion.
A well deserved, richly merited and worthy of a medal of Valor career. Have listened to some of her interviews 🗣 (Well spoken ), one of the reasons that made me grab and read her book too. More of an Autobiography genre than Self-Help, Versatile, light read and worthy of a production for a cinematic experience in my opinion.
November 25, 2022
Evy Poumpouras was trained by the New York Police Department, then plucked from that training program to become a Secret Service agent, then specialized for a time in interrogation and lie detection, then earned degrees in both forensic psychology and journalism, and currently works as an adjunct professor teaching criminology. Her writing style mirrors this rather eclectic career path, shooting from how to physically and emotionally protect yourself, to lie detection in everyday life, to the subtle art of influencing others (in positive ways) to enrich one's existence. In short, it's a bit all over the place.
Where she comes to rest thematically, and essentially, is in her contention that our experience in the world will be greatly improved by carefully orchestrating it. A lot of time is spent on self-presentation; how to look, how to stand, how to move, what to say, how to say it. In fact, all conversations become internally scripted to get the most from another person while giving the least of yourself. This rubs against the grain of my (perhaps poetically naive) goal of achieving as much authentic connection as is possible in my time on Earth - but then, the title of the work speaks directly to those who seek to avoid interactional injury. And authentic connection is a hotbed of interactional injury. So we're on two different paths here.
Still, this book is rich in valuable content for those whose relationships are largely conducted in the technological realm. There are lessons about people that you simply cannot learn through cyberspace; important wisdoms about non-verbal communication that remain unavailable to those who stick so stubbornly to their keyboards. Becoming Bulletproof will introduce this curriculum to you - and, yes, provide you a small safety net as you begin to test those waters.
Where she comes to rest thematically, and essentially, is in her contention that our experience in the world will be greatly improved by carefully orchestrating it. A lot of time is spent on self-presentation; how to look, how to stand, how to move, what to say, how to say it. In fact, all conversations become internally scripted to get the most from another person while giving the least of yourself. This rubs against the grain of my (perhaps poetically naive) goal of achieving as much authentic connection as is possible in my time on Earth - but then, the title of the work speaks directly to those who seek to avoid interactional injury. And authentic connection is a hotbed of interactional injury. So we're on two different paths here.
Still, this book is rich in valuable content for those whose relationships are largely conducted in the technological realm. There are lessons about people that you simply cannot learn through cyberspace; important wisdoms about non-verbal communication that remain unavailable to those who stick so stubbornly to their keyboards. Becoming Bulletproof will introduce this curriculum to you - and, yes, provide you a small safety net as you begin to test those waters.
December 30, 2021
I enjoyed this audiobook read by the author: Evy Poumpouras is though and undeniably intelligent. After being raised by a family that restricted many of her choices out of fear (New York was deemed too dangerous), she decided to pursue a career in law enforcement at the NYPD and then in the US Secret Service.
I don't have much to say, it was entertaining, easy and quick to read, it won't change my life but I enjoyed reflecting on Poumpouras thoughts on living with fear and the sense of sacrifice. Her story of overcoming the mental and physical challenges to become a Secret Service agent was particularly fascinating: clearly the highlight of this book.
I don't have much to say, it was entertaining, easy and quick to read, it won't change my life but I enjoyed reflecting on Poumpouras thoughts on living with fear and the sense of sacrifice. Her story of overcoming the mental and physical challenges to become a Secret Service agent was particularly fascinating: clearly the highlight of this book.
January 9, 2020
The author, a long time Secret Service agent, has many suggestions for personal safety, such as know all of the entrances/exits when you go into a public place, and most importantly, trust your instinct if you feel a place or situation is unsafe. She points out that “bullies can be a deceptive friend, a manipulative supervisor, or a malicious family member” who look for people they think are easy targets. She doesn’t advise trying impressive kung fu moves, because “when you’re assaulted, your fine motor skills go out the window.” Rather, “a violent strike to the groin, a swift kick to the shin, a hard punch to the throat, or jamming a finger in the eye” are better choices—“ to move and strike in such a way to shock the attacker and give [yourself] time to run.”
She tells about some of her Secret Service assignments, and not only about administering polygraph tests, but also about becoming a “human lie detector” by using our powers of observation. She also recommends treating everyone with dignity and respect and trying to find common ground—a tactic that could be beneficial to many people today. Thanks to the publisher and Edelweiss for the ARC.
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She tells about some of her Secret Service assignments, and not only about administering polygraph tests, but also about becoming a “human lie detector” by using our powers of observation. She also recommends treating everyone with dignity and respect and trying to find common ground—a tactic that could be beneficial to many people today. Thanks to the publisher and Edelweiss for the ARC.
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May 12, 2020
I wanted to read this book after I saw Evy in an interview and I really liked her as a person. She is an inspirational speaker. I enjoyed the book. It's easy to read and it gives honest non-exaggerated examples from her vast experience. I could hear her voice behind each word. This qualifies as a self-help book which I rarely read as I do not believe in them. One man's formula will not necessarily work for the 2nd person. I read it like an autobiography (which I like more) than a self-help book. There are some excellent points in there that I've highlighted in my copy. The apply to common sense, nothing out of the ordinary. You might know them all but not always keep them close to the action. I'll give it 3 stars because it was a light enjoyable reading for me but it did not bring huge value to me in terms of learning something new or change something in me.
December 9, 2019
I am so thrilled that I came upon this book. As a vulnerable person with a lot of emotions, I am often searching for real-life tools that can help protect me both from myself and from the influence of others. Poumpouras was a Secret Service agent and has protected several U.S. presidents and first ladies. She details ways to read an emergency situation (describing in detail her experience on 9/11), how to be proactive about protecting your home, and how to read others and detect lies. In addition to security, she also talks about how to build rapport with others and to get people to like you (which is always appreciated!) Finally, Poumpouras shares what she has learned from the high-profile people she has worked for, which is a really cool insight into their lives. I will definitely refer back to this book time and again for reminders. A must-buy for library collections and for consumers. Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the advanced copy.
February 14, 2023
Strategies for survival, reading people and influencing others, told be a former Secret Service Agent. Some insights were interesting, others not that enlightening.
Poumpouras mentions early on that she cannot disclose any of the specific questions secret service agents ask in interrogations, so a lot of her tips are general and come across as obvious.
Some interesting takeaways:
Fear
- Most people follow a pattern in their response to feeling threatened - fight, flight or freeze. It's good to know what your response is so you can access the situation and see if your automatic response is not useful to the threat.
- Focus not only on what you want to become in the future but what you fear becoming.
Mental Strength
- The hormetic effect - when your body undergoes low doses of stress it becomes stronger. This is how muscles are built. Low doses of psychological stress are also useful. Facing your fears in small ways is useful.
- In firearm training you're taught that the worst thing to do when getting shot at is to stand still. It makes you an easy target. Getting off the X means not standing still long enough to get shot. Applies to other life situations, it means get out of situations where you are targeted or treated badly.
- Just because someone insults you or tries to start a fight doesn't mean you have to respond.
- Play the long game. If you need evidence to convict someone, you need to stay calm and collect evidence over multiple conversations. If you get angry right away it will be harder to collect evidence.
- Having a solution mindset, rather than a problem mindset will take you further in life.
- Taking a risk and making your own decision will be better than taking someone's bad advice. "There's nothing worse than looking at a friend or spouse and thinking, I'm in this shitty situation because of you."
Safety
- Know where all the hospitals and safe places are. Know how to get there without a map/phone in case of an emergency or natural disaster.
- Teach kids to fight back if someone tries to kidnap them. 70% of children who escape do so by fighting back.
- There is usually more than one entrance/exit in a building. In emergencies where everyone rushes to the exit they usually rush to the entrance they walked in through. It's safer to look for the back exit. Almost every building has more than one exit. You're less likely to get crushed in the human stampede by looking for another exit.
- We are most vulnerable when in transit between locations like walking to/from your car. Parking lots and garages are popular locations for theft and assault. Make sure you have at least one hand free and scan your surroundings. If both of your hands are full you're an easy target.
- Predators choose easy prey. If you seem distracted and lost you're an easy target.
- Most predators test their prey before deciding to attack - like a bully bumping into you in the hall to see how you'll respond.
- If you can, drive to the hospital instead of calling an ambulance. It will save you valuable time.
Lie Detection
- If you want to know if someone is lying about a specific situation you have to first get a baseline of how they normally talk when discussing a mundane topic. This will help you notice if they behave strangely when talking about a specific situation.
- Most people have tells that reveal that they're lying. These tells are not universal. The "can't look you in the eyes while lying" idea is false. If you tell people that you notice their change in voice or body language, you're showing them what their tells are, and helping them become a better liar.
- Look for clusters of behaviors. If someone keeps having strange behavior whenever you get to a certain topic, it's probably a lie. Just looking away once is not enough to be an indicator.
- When people lie they are likely to make it seem like your question is silly, that you're taking up their time, that it's not a big deal, or they refuse to commit to their statement by saying "That's pretty much all I know" or "off the top of my head I can't think of anything else."
- Lies are more likely to be dramatic denials of having done something. They are also are more likely to have integrity qualifiers like "in all honesty..."
- Lies usually follow a linear story. If you think someone is lying, try to get them to tell the story out of order. Ask what they did before doing X. It more cognitively demanding to remember a fabricated story out of order than remembering a true memory out of order.
- People are actually more likely to spontaneously correct themselves when telling the truth. However if they correct themselves only when you've pointed to a problem in their story, that's a sign of deception.
There are also several tips on practical matters like how to protect your home from robbery or prepare for natural disasters. The chapters on influence had very obvious tips - use people's names, give them your full attention, give them the sense that you're interested in them.
I expected sharper insights into influence coming from a secret service agent. A lot of these tips seem like common sense communication, like something from How to Win Friends and Influence People, but when I read the reviews I realize for many people it's still new and enlightening information.
An easy read with some interesting info about secret service training.
3 stars
Poumpouras mentions early on that she cannot disclose any of the specific questions secret service agents ask in interrogations, so a lot of her tips are general and come across as obvious.
Some interesting takeaways:
Fear
- Most people follow a pattern in their response to feeling threatened - fight, flight or freeze. It's good to know what your response is so you can access the situation and see if your automatic response is not useful to the threat.
- Focus not only on what you want to become in the future but what you fear becoming.
Mental Strength
- The hormetic effect - when your body undergoes low doses of stress it becomes stronger. This is how muscles are built. Low doses of psychological stress are also useful. Facing your fears in small ways is useful.
- In firearm training you're taught that the worst thing to do when getting shot at is to stand still. It makes you an easy target. Getting off the X means not standing still long enough to get shot. Applies to other life situations, it means get out of situations where you are targeted or treated badly.
- Just because someone insults you or tries to start a fight doesn't mean you have to respond.
- Play the long game. If you need evidence to convict someone, you need to stay calm and collect evidence over multiple conversations. If you get angry right away it will be harder to collect evidence.
- Having a solution mindset, rather than a problem mindset will take you further in life.
- Taking a risk and making your own decision will be better than taking someone's bad advice. "There's nothing worse than looking at a friend or spouse and thinking, I'm in this shitty situation because of you."
Safety
- Know where all the hospitals and safe places are. Know how to get there without a map/phone in case of an emergency or natural disaster.
- Teach kids to fight back if someone tries to kidnap them. 70% of children who escape do so by fighting back.
- There is usually more than one entrance/exit in a building. In emergencies where everyone rushes to the exit they usually rush to the entrance they walked in through. It's safer to look for the back exit. Almost every building has more than one exit. You're less likely to get crushed in the human stampede by looking for another exit.
- We are most vulnerable when in transit between locations like walking to/from your car. Parking lots and garages are popular locations for theft and assault. Make sure you have at least one hand free and scan your surroundings. If both of your hands are full you're an easy target.
- Predators choose easy prey. If you seem distracted and lost you're an easy target.
- Most predators test their prey before deciding to attack - like a bully bumping into you in the hall to see how you'll respond.
- If you can, drive to the hospital instead of calling an ambulance. It will save you valuable time.
Lie Detection
- If you want to know if someone is lying about a specific situation you have to first get a baseline of how they normally talk when discussing a mundane topic. This will help you notice if they behave strangely when talking about a specific situation.
- Most people have tells that reveal that they're lying. These tells are not universal. The "can't look you in the eyes while lying" idea is false. If you tell people that you notice their change in voice or body language, you're showing them what their tells are, and helping them become a better liar.
- Look for clusters of behaviors. If someone keeps having strange behavior whenever you get to a certain topic, it's probably a lie. Just looking away once is not enough to be an indicator.
- When people lie they are likely to make it seem like your question is silly, that you're taking up their time, that it's not a big deal, or they refuse to commit to their statement by saying "That's pretty much all I know" or "off the top of my head I can't think of anything else."
- Lies are more likely to be dramatic denials of having done something. They are also are more likely to have integrity qualifiers like "in all honesty..."
- Lies usually follow a linear story. If you think someone is lying, try to get them to tell the story out of order. Ask what they did before doing X. It more cognitively demanding to remember a fabricated story out of order than remembering a true memory out of order.
- People are actually more likely to spontaneously correct themselves when telling the truth. However if they correct themselves only when you've pointed to a problem in their story, that's a sign of deception.
There are also several tips on practical matters like how to protect your home from robbery or prepare for natural disasters. The chapters on influence had very obvious tips - use people's names, give them your full attention, give them the sense that you're interested in them.
I expected sharper insights into influence coming from a secret service agent. A lot of these tips seem like common sense communication, like something from How to Win Friends and Influence People, but when I read the reviews I realize for many people it's still new and enlightening information.
An easy read with some interesting info about secret service training.
3 stars
September 9, 2020
I picked up this book after listening to Evy’s interview on impact theory. In the interview she came across as a woman who knows her stuff really well and someone who has had tough experiences in the FBI. Listening to her, I wanted to know more about her secret service role and some of near death expeditions.
On completing the book, I can safely say that the book provides a general overview of the security measures that one should take for one’s protection. Also, the book details about body language tactics but given that I have previously read several books on body language, I did not think the information was any different. Further, the book offers a sneak peak of the cases she has handled, including being a body guard for several former presidents of United States. At this point, the book was more a memoir where the author was being gratuitous for what she has learnt from these former presidents and their First Ladies - nothing for the readers to learn through stories.
Lastly, the author has conducted several polygraph examinations and I thought here there will be things to learn but again the author does not divulge too much information or details and provides two case examples where she arrived at a conclusion different than her peers. There is nothing to learn from individualistic patterns that she learnt over the years.
For all these reasons, I feel this book deserves 3/5. If it was more detailed, with more examples than this book would be further appreciated.
On completing the book, I can safely say that the book provides a general overview of the security measures that one should take for one’s protection. Also, the book details about body language tactics but given that I have previously read several books on body language, I did not think the information was any different. Further, the book offers a sneak peak of the cases she has handled, including being a body guard for several former presidents of United States. At this point, the book was more a memoir where the author was being gratuitous for what she has learnt from these former presidents and their First Ladies - nothing for the readers to learn through stories.
Lastly, the author has conducted several polygraph examinations and I thought here there will be things to learn but again the author does not divulge too much information or details and provides two case examples where she arrived at a conclusion different than her peers. There is nothing to learn from individualistic patterns that she learnt over the years.
For all these reasons, I feel this book deserves 3/5. If it was more detailed, with more examples than this book would be further appreciated.
June 30, 2022
I can't begin to explain how this book changed my mindset... It helped me with a bunch of things inlcuding:
-Realising how much fear was shaping my decisions (spoiler: too much!!!)
-Identifying patterns and understanding my fear reactions so I could react better
-Connect with people (very powerful tool!!)
-Have better communication skills (the body language tips were some of my favorites!)
I read it slowly, a few pages a day, and applied them the next day. Results showed up immediately. It's a must for self improvement!
-Realising how much fear was shaping my decisions (spoiler: too much!!!)
-Identifying patterns and understanding my fear reactions so I could react better
-Connect with people (very powerful tool!!)
-Have better communication skills (the body language tips were some of my favorites!)
I read it slowly, a few pages a day, and applied them the next day. Results showed up immediately. It's a must for self improvement!
October 13, 2024
Amour for life
A great autobiography. It is always inspiring when the self-help part of a book comes from a person's life experience. The even better part is that Evy has taken the lessons she learned and looked up the scientific research to back up these lessons and feelings.
This book takes an almost CBT type approach to seeing the world through Evy's eyes. The lessons she learned through her training and experiences are here but it is up to any reading the book to put them into practice "do the work" to make them part of life to cut through the crap others try to dump on us, or tell us.
The world is a scary place, and life is not fair. These are things that we can't change. What we can change is how we react to them. The is full of techniques to change our thinking to become more resilient, deal with things head on, and even choose which battles not to fight.
A great autobiography. It is always inspiring when the self-help part of a book comes from a person's life experience. The even better part is that Evy has taken the lessons she learned and looked up the scientific research to back up these lessons and feelings.
This book takes an almost CBT type approach to seeing the world through Evy's eyes. The lessons she learned through her training and experiences are here but it is up to any reading the book to put them into practice "do the work" to make them part of life to cut through the crap others try to dump on us, or tell us.
The world is a scary place, and life is not fair. These are things that we can't change. What we can change is how we react to them. The is full of techniques to change our thinking to become more resilient, deal with things head on, and even choose which battles not to fight.
August 25, 2021
Enjoyed it.
Evy is a former US Secret Service Special Agent so this was pretty interesting seeing her perspective on even every day things like going to a restaurant and where you should sit to interrogating someone and knowing if they're lying to you.
Definitely changed my readiness to be safe. I'm a bit sheltered and kinda innocent so I don't think of the possibilities of what could happen, so if something did happen I would be unprepared. But I think it's important to have an exit or hide strategy ready at the will especially where there's large gatherings.
The lengthy beginning story of her 9/11 experience was too long. It was good and her point was made but we didn't her entire story of it lol It's like she made that story the backbone of why she's bulletproof, but in reality she's always been like this.
Evy is a former US Secret Service Special Agent so this was pretty interesting seeing her perspective on even every day things like going to a restaurant and where you should sit to interrogating someone and knowing if they're lying to you.
Definitely changed my readiness to be safe. I'm a bit sheltered and kinda innocent so I don't think of the possibilities of what could happen, so if something did happen I would be unprepared. But I think it's important to have an exit or hide strategy ready at the will especially where there's large gatherings.
The lengthy beginning story of her 9/11 experience was too long. It was good and her point was made but we didn't her entire story of it lol It's like she made that story the backbone of why she's bulletproof, but in reality she's always been like this.
May 31, 2020
This book is really outstanding. It's so well written and thought out, as you would imagine from the author. This is not your typical "self help" book - this is from a very intelligent and strong person who has walked the walk. Evy shares personal experiences from her time as a USSS person, NYC cop, family experience's - all of which are so moving and interesting. She also shares really amazing, interesting information about changing your life for the better. This includes things like being an individual, trusting your gut-Instinct, knowing your entry and exit of a building. Amazing Intel on how to read ppl and spot liars (from someone who ran a lie detector and has qualifications galore in body language, linguistics and "tells")
This woman is so fascinating, & this is like a bible for living safely, happily and being kind to everyone. I lapped it up.
I cannot recommend this book enough and I'd love to thank Evy for writing this book and sharing not only such invaluable, life saving information, but also her personal journey, which is just as fascinating. I loved this book so much, the quotes, the advice, everything.
Thanks Evy! I've already started putting small changes into practice. Awesome, life changing read!
This woman is so fascinating, & this is like a bible for living safely, happily and being kind to everyone. I lapped it up.
I cannot recommend this book enough and I'd love to thank Evy for writing this book and sharing not only such invaluable, life saving information, but also her personal journey, which is just as fascinating. I loved this book so much, the quotes, the advice, everything.
Thanks Evy! I've already started putting small changes into practice. Awesome, life changing read!
July 7, 2020
3 Stars. I really like Evy Poumpouras as a person. I even liked hearing all her stories from being a police office to Secret Service and even on protecting the president! (The 9/11 story broke me.) ...however even though all of the information in this book is relevant and true. I already know most of this. The hard part is implementation. I admire her courage and perseverance. That is truly the only way of becoming “Bulletproof”.
However I felt a little let down on the information for becoming “bulletproof” myself.
However I felt a little let down on the information for becoming “bulletproof” myself.
May 6, 2021
I expected a different kind of book, it's more an autobiography than a self-help book. Perhaps it is better to expect a memoir rather than new knowledge to enjoy it more. I think it was full of cliches and did not bring any value in terms of learning something new. It has some good reflections, though.
June 25, 2024
I’m not much of a self-help book fan but after hearing Evy on a podcast I had to read this and it did not disappoint. Loved the stories from her life and she shares lots of nuggets of wisdom that she learnt along the way.
September 8, 2022
This book will certainly help the villains become better villains. Good job Evy giving up the secrets. You're going to hurt people more than help people with this book.
April 14, 2021
Very interesting read. Listen, actually. I really liked it was narrated by the author. This is a great autobiography and I find Evy's career and the things she's gone through as a female secret service agent fascinating.
The tips in the book are mostly common sense, perhaps the title is misleading, but you can pick up one or two useful things. In short: life is not about trying to be fearless, but being prepared for the things that might happen and face them the best you can. Fear is not bad, but you can fear things less if you have a plan laid out in advance.
The tips in the book are mostly common sense, perhaps the title is misleading, but you can pick up one or two useful things. In short: life is not about trying to be fearless, but being prepared for the things that might happen and face them the best you can. Fear is not bad, but you can fear things less if you have a plan laid out in advance.
May 22, 2020
My actual rating is actually 6/5. For the 1st time out of my 300+ books read by far, this is the first one that I have vowed to re-read a specific book 3x before this year end (2020). The information is grand, well narrated, overflowing with intelligence, wisdom and wit. This book is going to stay in my re-reading list year after year to create a specific neurochemistry (wiring) in my brain that makes the memory imprinted (information) for a long while.
January 19, 2021
Almost no new, interesting, applicable information. You get all and more from her appereances in Women of Impact. When she talks, she makes useful points. I am afraid that the book has almost no value. Does not worth purchasing.
June 2, 2022
This books is very practical. I enjoyed reading about simple ways to become bulletproof in everyday life, with other people, while traveling, etc. I liked the author’s writing style because it made the book interesting.
June 9, 2020
Nothing new in this book. Same old concept. Maybe a bit more entertaining than others of this genre because of her stories as secret agent.
July 6, 2024
The concept of becoming my own first response in life-threatening situations resonates deeply with me. I've read a number of books on the topic over the years, and this is up there as one of the better ones.
Something she pointed out, and I chewed on for a while, is that there's nothing new under the sun. While fear-mongering may come in different flavors, every decade has its own "crisis" we panic over.
In the 1950s, it was the Red Scare and Communism.
In the 1960s, it was the Cuban Missile crisis and fear for personal safety with the assassinations of JFK, Martin Luther King Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy.
In the 1970s, it was the foreign oil crisis, political upheaval in the impeachment of Nixon, and skyrocketing crime in the country.
In the 1980s, it was fear of external threats, particularly with Iran and the Soviet Union.
In the 1990s, it was Y2K.
In the 2000s, it was terrorism (9/11).
In the 2010s, it was mass shootings.
In the 2020s, so far it has been pandemics and the threat of bioterrorism.
I don't remember most of these, they were before my time until 9/11 and Y2K came around, but the absolute truth that every decade has brought with it a new fear landed. We cannot, and should not, allow fear to rule so much of our lives. As a nurse throughout the pandemic, I'll be the first one to say that I was disgusted by the behavior and attitudes of my fellow nurses. The histrionics, the victimization, the DRAMA... and it hasn't left yet. It's incredibly disheartening. We can do better.
Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Some of the other more notable things mentioned...
-BEFORE there's a need, have safehouses in mind (hospitals, police departments, a meeting point with loved ones). And know your routes by heart. Don't depend on anything related to network service in the event of a major crisis. Historically, they become overloaded and crash.
Be aware of when you are part of a hard target situation (3Ps). Includes:
1) People, lots of them
2) Place (dense location with tight escape routes)
3) Press (is there a lot of media coverage already, cameras, etc)
Teach your kids how to be prepared for emergent situations, including shootings. Be calm and it won't scare them; they need to know.
During arrivals and departures from a building, especially at night but truly anytime: straight to the car, keys in one hand and hands-free otherwise, off your phone, get in car and secure the door. Leave immediately if the parking lot is isolated and/or dark.
Violent crimes are more likely to occur in open, public areas between 6pm and 6am.
Lesser crimes (theft) are more likely during the day.
Burglaries are most likely between 10am and 2pm when people aren't home.
Part of the reason I loved this book was for the stories Evy shared from her time in secret service, interrogation rooms, and other processional capacities.
I'd rate this book an R for a surprising number of F bombs and some adult conversation related to emergency/safety situations.
Original review posted 7/6/24.
Something she pointed out, and I chewed on for a while, is that there's nothing new under the sun. While fear-mongering may come in different flavors, every decade has its own "crisis" we panic over.
In the 1950s, it was the Red Scare and Communism.
In the 1960s, it was the Cuban Missile crisis and fear for personal safety with the assassinations of JFK, Martin Luther King Jr., and Robert F. Kennedy.
In the 1970s, it was the foreign oil crisis, political upheaval in the impeachment of Nixon, and skyrocketing crime in the country.
In the 1980s, it was fear of external threats, particularly with Iran and the Soviet Union.
In the 1990s, it was Y2K.
In the 2000s, it was terrorism (9/11).
In the 2010s, it was mass shootings.
In the 2020s, so far it has been pandemics and the threat of bioterrorism.
I don't remember most of these, they were before my time until 9/11 and Y2K came around, but the absolute truth that every decade has brought with it a new fear landed. We cannot, and should not, allow fear to rule so much of our lives. As a nurse throughout the pandemic, I'll be the first one to say that I was disgusted by the behavior and attitudes of my fellow nurses. The histrionics, the victimization, the DRAMA... and it hasn't left yet. It's incredibly disheartening. We can do better.
Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Some of the other more notable things mentioned...
-BEFORE there's a need, have safehouses in mind (hospitals, police departments, a meeting point with loved ones). And know your routes by heart. Don't depend on anything related to network service in the event of a major crisis. Historically, they become overloaded and crash.
Be aware of when you are part of a hard target situation (3Ps). Includes:
1) People, lots of them
2) Place (dense location with tight escape routes)
3) Press (is there a lot of media coverage already, cameras, etc)
Teach your kids how to be prepared for emergent situations, including shootings. Be calm and it won't scare them; they need to know.
During arrivals and departures from a building, especially at night but truly anytime: straight to the car, keys in one hand and hands-free otherwise, off your phone, get in car and secure the door. Leave immediately if the parking lot is isolated and/or dark.
Violent crimes are more likely to occur in open, public areas between 6pm and 6am.
Lesser crimes (theft) are more likely during the day.
Burglaries are most likely between 10am and 2pm when people aren't home.
Part of the reason I loved this book was for the stories Evy shared from her time in secret service, interrogation rooms, and other processional capacities.
I'd rate this book an R for a surprising number of F bombs and some adult conversation related to emergency/safety situations.
Original review posted 7/6/24.
April 15, 2025
This book is a mixed bag. I really liked the author’s personal experience stories. A lot of the nuts and bolts of becoming bulletproof I have been familiar with through various trainings and experiences in my career. It’s not a one size fits all, and that’s the problem with books, seminars, trainings, etc. There are quite a few section on interviewing and interrogation from Evy’s days in the Secret Service. Unfortunately we don’t get an understanding on the differences of subjects or suspects. An individual with an anxiety disorder or someone with mental health issues will display many of the characteristics of “the liar” in this book, yet that is just their norm. I could go on about things like that throughout the book, but most of the stuff in here is solid and well thought out.
January 10, 2025
Great read in my opinion. Helped me re-evaluate the way I look at things giving me more insight and even more perspective on how I go about my day to day. As someone who’s a little too self aware for their own good, this book has helped me re-direct any rabbit hole I go down into building blocks of understanding. Self-help books aren’t really my thing, but this one is written in a way where I feel I can relate more than targeted.
December 6, 2025
There was a lot of helpful information about how to assess and understand other people, which I found very helpful. I also enjoyed some new perspectives on courage and resilience that have me contemplating the untapped power of my trauma and what I'm capable of because of what I've experienced. I think, before I read this, I thought that using my tragedies to get ahead was sort of exploiting my own tragedy. But Poumpouras encouraged me to see it in a different way: If I have survived all I've been through, then I know I am tough enough to put myself in the way of equally difficult things that could be standing between me and what I want. It still feels a bit controversial; why would I put myself through hardship intentionally? I've been through enough! I have experienced quite enough pain by happenstance without seeking it out! But also... this knowledge that I am capable of handling enormously difficult circumstances is a bit enticing. It's incredibly tempting to think, "I've survived cancer. Moving to X or getting X job would be a steep learning curve, but I've been through so much worse." I really love my cozy little comfort zone. But, like... what if I tried to do something I really, really want to do without fear of failure? What would that even look like for me? Anyway. This is a review, not a journal entry. Clearly, Poumpouras has me thinking critically about my life, so I'm giving this five stars.
October 8, 2022
Unlike most writers who claims “you should do this, you should do that,” The author has all these great experiences to back up all her facts. Overall, it’s Informative, intriguing and empowering!
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