Say Grace: How the Restaurant Business Saved My Life

by Steve Palmer

Living Sober in an Industry Ravaged by Addiction As a child, Steve Palmer never belonged―not in school, not in his troubled home, not with friends. After his father and grandfather passed away, he was sent to a series of rehabs and halfway houses before ending up on the streets. Drugs and alcohol soon became a way of life. Eventually, he would go on to a career running some of the country’s most celebrated and innovative fine dining establishments. But first, he had to learn how to be sober in an industry awash with alcohol and drugs. Thanks to coworkers that were able to love him when he couldn’t love himself, Steve got sober. He escaped addiction alive. Many in the industry do not. No other industry has higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse. People are losing careers and families. They’re losing their health. They’re losing their lives. This is the story of one man who found healing and recovery in the industry that enabled his addiction―and he’s on a quest to help others do the same.

180 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 19, 2019

Reviews

[Marki Nieporte]

One man’s journey with addiction within the restaurant industry and how it enabled him but also helped him save his life. Awesome and quick and very important to any hospitality worker. Being aware of the dark side of the industry is how we take steps to change it.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure, I have known Steve since high school. However, I didn't realize all of the things that he went thru during that time. This book is very inspirational. Steve has taken these obstacles in his life and turned them around to give back to the community he loves and that saved him from drugs and alcohol.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Steve Palmer had a great early childhood. He and his sister were adopted by their parents - a doctor and nurse who loved them and were happy. But, when Steve was six his Dad developed a series of serious health issues related to type-1 diabetes. He died when Steve was ten, then almost exactly a year later Steve's grandfather died of lung cancer. Steve's mom just shut down and wasn't there emotionally for her kids at all. That was when Steve started drinking. Because of his deteriorating relationship with his mother, he was homeless at sixteen. Eventually when he was nineteen he moved in with his sister and her husband and started working in a restaurant. In restaurants Steve found the family he had always wanted - people who accepted him as he was and helped him progress in the restaurant industry. But, the restaurant industry is also full of alcohol, drugs, and addicts. It's normal to go out after service and get drunk every night. It's normal to do cocaine during service to keep up with a busy night. These norms allowed Steve to work for a decade while also being a serious drug addict and alcoholic. Eventually when he was 32 his wife left him and the owners of the restaurant he was working in staged an intervention and paid for him to go to treatment. That was when he finally got sober. But, coming back to work was terrifying because he knew he would be around alcohol at work. It was hard and he did lose friends, but he found a community of sober people within the restaurant industry who helped him stay sober while still working in this field. Steve eventually opened his own hospitality group that helped open restaurants. After losing a friend who was the chef at one of Steve's restaurants to suicide, Steve and another friend started Ben's Friends, a food industry support group for people struggling with addiction or mental illness. Ben's Friends has grown and now have chapters all over the US. For Steve the food industry saved him when he was homeless and then again when his addiction was ruining his life, so to be able to give back and make that industry better is his goal. Addiction and mental illness aren't as taboo now, but there is still a long way to go especially in the restaurant and food industry. This is a short, but powerful and timely memoir of the power of food, addiction, and recovery.

[Mari Carroll · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perhaps I’m a little biased in the fact that I too went to high school with Steve, but let me tell you...this book is a true and heartbreaking story of overcoming addiction and coming out the other side as such an amazing inspiration. I had no idea these things were happening in high school and reading of the early years in Straight, the youth home and being homeless...I just can’t imagine. Steve’s story reminds us of the importance of giving back and serves as a nudge to be our best possible selves. From a writing standpoint part of me thinks it could have used some editing...but then another part of me sees this as his raw and vulnerable story. Hats off to you, Steve for all of your accomplishments!!!

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful, inspirational story about one man’s journey to sobriety. Say Grace by Steve Palmer is an autobiography that focuses on his battle and overcoming of addiction while working in the food and beverage industry. Childhood trauma and struggles led to trying to find comfort and finding a place to belong. Unfortunately for Palmer this was the beginning of his addictions. As the book says it's about the duality of the food industry. At times, it feeds the addictions of others but if you show up for your shift and work, you have a family, and many times they help you fuel your recovery. Palmer created a Non-profit organization called Ben’s Friends to help those needing that fuel, that intervention because he wanted to see a change. He wanted to make the change and it’s also the reason why he wrote the book. It was such a moving story and I believe whether you suffer from addiction or know someone who is fighting it is a must-read. I could not put it down and finished it in a night. In this day and age, it’s not easy to be vulnerable and share your story but there was such a grace and rawness to Palmer’s story. It’s also a great read for hospitality /food/ beverage industry owners/workers. It’s not an area that most tend to think of when they think of people with addiction.

[Celeste · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading this book without any idea of the topic and the theme it develops. I thought it was a guide or some kind of manual on how to run a restaurant. However, it surprised me in a very positive way. This wonderful work portrays a deep, hard and hopeful story of addiction, recovery, hard work, evolution, self-discovery, and success.
In this relevant and insightful book, the author narrates his experiences, personal growth and his evolution as a person through a difficult journey that started with a troubled home and culminated with success in the hospitality industry. An industry, I wasn’t aware of this, awash with alcohol and drugs. What I also found interesting and I appreciated is that the author highlights the importance of relationships, friendship and support in the healing process.
The story tells fragments of the author’s life and his thoughts. I could really immerse myself into the feelings and emotions the book transmits, and I think this is a sign of the quality of the narrative. The prose is interesting and captivating. I really enjoyed it and I highly recommend it.

[Huda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author, Steve Palmer gives us a sneak peek into the food and beverage industry and its inner workings. However, he also sheds light on the issue of substance abuse or addiction and the problems associated with this societal dilemma. This book has an autobiographical style of writing and it helps the reader connect with the author and events mentioned in the book. Palmer shares his vulnerability and struggles openly and narrates how he coped throughout his journey. The author writes tactfully because he includes important details about the hospitality business yet he keeps the reader engaged with his personal story too. This book could be helpful for those struggling with similar issues, or people who take a keen interest in the hospitality industry.

[Nela · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Say Grace” by author Steve Palmer, managing partner and founder of The Indigo Road Hospitality Group, is an inspiring memoir on his experience of recovery from alcohol and drugs addiction.
Although the hospitality industry is awash with additions, he found healing and recovery, and unconditional love and acceptance in his caring co-workers.
This moving memoir surpassed my expectations; it evoked emotions and covered the topic from an insight perspective, that many neglect to focus on. The author is raw and gritty and does not hold back from telling his whole experiences with the aim of speaking freely and honestly about the problems in the restaurant business and help others in that same struggle.

[Evelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading “Say Grace” and I loved it. It is superb, compelling, interesting and a very humbling read. This inspirational autobiography tells the story of Steve Palmer and his efforts to face drugs and alcohol’s addiction after a very difficult life. Told in an easy to read and thoughtful way the author opens up the world he grew up and was an active participant in. His story is a negative one that’s been turned into so many positive ways that I couldn’t put the book down and I felt lost in its pages because although it might be a little long for some people, this didn’t deter me at all!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and I strongly believe that it is addressed to all for a different perspective in life.
It is a sad but fabulous and highly enjoyable story.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always respect authors who share some of their personal struggles, not because I think what they experience are things to keep private, but because visibility on these situations it’s key to recognize people and help them to recover and follow their right path.

Author Steve Palmer shares his journey through addiction and how the context he had around him was key to guide him into recovery. He also mentions how he learnt to live sober in an industry that wants the opposite.

Overall, I think this is a very inspiring read that leads to a lot of thinking and reflections about industries that don't care about what happens next.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Say Grace: How the Restaurant Business Saved My Life" is a moving book by Steve Palmer, in which the author tells his story about addictions and how his work and co-workers helped him overcome addictions.
It really moved me to read Steve's story, it made me think a lot about people who are not as lucky as him and who can never overcome addictions. It also made me think about how important the people around us are and how they can motivate us to be better.
All in all, this is the story of one man who found healing and recovery in the industry that enabled his addiction―and he’s on a quest to help others do the same.

[Santiago Flores · Rating 5 out of 5]

Say Grace is a book that made me think and rethink. Author Palmer has done a great job with this read. The first lines of the description caught my attention at first sight: “Living Sober in an Industry Ravaged by Addiction”.

It was so inspiring reading about the life of the author that made me reflect upon my life. It is a read that made me introspect in a way not many have done. The narrative is totally inviting and as it is not long, I devoured it in two days.ç

I would totally recommend reading Say Grace to everyone, we all know people who struggle with addictions and I believe that informing us, getting to know the lives of others who have also struggled with it, is a way of helping.

[swaddle · Rating 5 out of 5]

My brother read this about seven months before he died of cirrhosis of the liver. It had a positive and profound effect on him as his life mirrored Mr. Palmer’s 90%. He asked me to read it in November. I just finished it last weekend. I will always recommend this book and support Ben’s Friends, the nonprofit started by Mr. Palmer and friends to help restaurant industry workers get the help they need. (@bensfriendshope on Instagram)

[Shane E · Rating 5 out of 5]

A spiritual threequel to Setting the Table and Unreasonable Hospitality, with a more personal emphasis on sussing out the underlying demons in the hospitality industry — namely addiction and abuse. It's less of "how to wow your guests" and more of "how to save your chefs" (or at least try). But therein lies the golden truth: care genuinely for your team, and guests will feel it.

[Will Hebert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely phenomenal!!! This book saved my life, thank you Steve. Great read for all, especially those in the restaurant industry and recovery community.

[Christa Watson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great story of overcoming addiction and setting forward to change the narrative of other’s lives. However, he isn’t a stellar author so if you put that aside you’ll enjoy the read!

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in a day. Average writing but story to absorb.

[Tyler Tartaglia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read. As someone who has struggling with addiction, I couldn’t relate more. The language, detail, and inspiration was perfect for me as a new reader.

[Deborah LaRoche · Rating 5 out of 5]

Steve Palmer is an F&B giant here in Charleston, and this book shows the depth and grit that lies behind his passion, work, and attitude. While he's not (and never claims to be) an accomplished writer per se, the story is told with an unflinching honesty that comes through each page. Good on ya, Steve. May your numbers increase.