Windows to Our Children: A Gestalt Approach to Children and Adolescents

by Violet Oaklander

With over 300 pages of methods, materials, techniques for working with children and adolescents, transcripts, case examples and discussion, this book filled a void in the child therapy literature. Counselors and therapists, in schools, mental health centers and private practice embrace this book. It is the largest selling book on the subject in the world.

Genres: Psychology, Counselling, Childrens, Parenting, Nonfiction, Social Work, Child Psychology

344 pages, Paperback

First published January 30, 1978

Reviews

[Mha Atma S · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mom wrote this book in 1978 and it's still in print and translated into 14 languages. It's changed millions of lives. Fun easy reading for anyone interested in children (or your own inner child) and essential reading for anyone working with children, especially therapists. This book has changed the lives of perhaps millions of children and adolescents. It's available (among other places) at vsof.org.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent blend of gestalt and play therapy. I refer back to this book time and time again when I'm looking for a new way to help kids open up in our sessions together. Violet Oaklander combines years of experience with her own stories which makes this book not only interesting, but fun to read as well.

[Vášnivá čtenářka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ať už jste rodičem či pracovníkem, který je obklopen dětmi, tahle kniha vám jednoznačně otevře obzory.

Autorka v této knize vysvětluje, jak úžasná je dětská fantazie a jak jí lze využít pro léčbu dětských emocionálních potíží. Děti totiž neumí své emoce tak dobře verbalizovat jako dospělí lidé, proto se může stát, že když se jim v životě děje něco, s čím si neumí poradit, uzavírají se do svého světa. Mohou přestat komunikovat a mohou se u nich začít objevovat různé somatické symptomy jako je například bolení bříška, horečky, pomočování apod. Výjimkou nejsou ani noční děsy, smutná nálada, nechuť se kamarádit s přáteli a mnoho a mnoho dalšího. Některé děti se ubírají ke lžím a snaží se tu realitu, ve které musí žít a se kterou se neumí vyrovnat, potlačit tím, že se stahují právě do svého fantazijního světa, ve kterém se cítí bezpečněji a kde je všechno takové, jaké má být.


Rodiče jsou obvykle nešťastní, protože vidí, že se s dětmi něco děje, ale neumí jim pomoci. A právě proto vznikla tahle kniha. Využijí ji všichni rodiče, kteří potřebuji poodhalit, jak s nešťastným dítětem komunikovat. Využijí ji psychologové, kteří si potřebují nebo chtějí rozšířit obzory a v neposlední řadě i pedagogové a jiní pracovníci, kteří jsou obklopeni dětmi.

Kniha nabízí nepřeberné množství příkladů a kazuistik, které vám pomohou pochopit, kdy a jak se dítěte správně zeptat, aby své emoce mohlo adekvátně ventilovat, prožít a zpracovat. Kniha vám ukáže, jak s dětmi nenásilně komunikovat skrze jejich fantazii, tvořivost a hru. Právě tyto tři věci jsou pro děti tak přirozené, že nevyužít jich při práci s nimi by bylo jako odmítnou ten nejúžasnější dárek.

Knihu mohu za sebe jen a jen doporučit. Otevře vám oči, rozšíří vám obzory a pomůže vám nahlédnout do prožívání dětí, když sami ztrácíte půdu pod nohama.

Je to jedna z nejhezčích psychologických knih, které jsem kdy četla a domnívám se, že může být obohacující i pro laiky.

[Thiago Martins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Muito mais técnico do que eu imaginei, um banquete para psicólogos. Como não trabalho com isso, foi um pouco cansativo e demorei muito pra terminar. Mas com certeza aprendi muita coisa sobre crianças e sobre mim mesmo.

[Cyndi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing resource. Oaklander presents dozens of avenues for those who wish to explore the vast universe that is the psyche of a child. She goes gently, but with playful curiosity. It is a joy to read about her ideas and put them into practice.

[Clara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Muy buen libro, con ejemplos reales se tratan temas básicos para la terapia gestatl infantil.

[Andrea Johnson]

This is an amazing book for anyone who works with
children. I will keep it close by my desk!

[Cherene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book with lots of ideas about how to approach counseling children.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very helpful and practical guide to beginning children's play therapy. The author offers so many suggestions and examples on how to do play therapy and different mediums to utilize (painting, clay, music, toys, sand trays, senses, etc). She does an excellent job of demonstrating how various techniques could be used by giving tons of examples of scenarios, pictures, questions, and children that she's worked with. This book gave me an excellent idea of what play therapy can look like.

This book was also an interesting introduction to Gestalt therapy, something I know little about. Most of the scenarios and examples that the author presented had strong Gestalt influences. Many examples utilized the empty chair technique and the author demonstrated how to combine that with playing (and how to make that seem natural in various situations).

[Yehudah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book 42 of 50 for 2024

Oaklander is a genius. She exemplifies "how to listen so kids will talk" and seems to be a master of creating safe environments while guiding children in expression. The dozens of techniques she presents are cool but what is even cooler is the underlying attitude she brings to the "couch". Her approach is logical and compassionate, flexible and patient, common sense yet often lacking in the world.

And now a word from Violet herself:
"Children are our finest teachers They already know how to grow, how to develop, how to learn, how to expand and discover, how to feel, laugh and cry and get mad, what is right for them and what is not right for them, what they need. They already know how to love and be joyful and to live life to its fullest, to work and to be strong and full of energy. All they (and the children within us) need is the space to do it." p. 324

[Eva Anca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suntem în permanență în căutarea de „ferestre” care să ne ducă mai aproape de copiii noștri, să ne ajute să îi înțelegem, să descoperim modul în care gândesc și sentimentele pe care le au. După părerea mea, cartea Ferestre către copiii noștri este excelentă în acest sens. Ne oferă nu doar informații teoretice, așa cum găsim în alte cărți de parenting, ci și exerciții practice, care să ne arate cum putem, prin intermediul jocului, să ne apropiem de copiii noștri.

Eu mă bucur tare mult că am ales să citesc această carte și v-o recomand cu încredere. Sunt sigură că veți găsi măcar câteva modalități pe care le puteți aplica în viața de zi cu zi, alături de copiii voștri, pentru a vă apropia de ei.
https://www.randurileevei.ro/2021/01/...

[Nitsa Pkhaladze]

მშობელმა, მასწავლებელმა უნდა ისწავლოს ბავშვებისთვის მკაფიო შეტყობინებების გადაცემა, ისევე როგორც გააზრება და პატივისცემა იმისა, რომ ბავშვი დამოუკიდებელი, განუმეორებელი, უფლებამოსილი, ღირებული პიროვნებაა. ეს გააძლიერებს ბავშვის თვითშეფასებისა და დამოუკიდებლობის შეგრძნებებს, რომელიც თავისთავად გარემოს შეცნობასა და მასთან ადაპტირებაში მნიშვნელოვან წინაპირობას ქმნის. “ფანჯრები ჩვენი ბავშვებისკენ” არის წიგნი, სადაც ავტორი წარმოგვიდგენს ბრწყინვალე ანალიზს თავის პრაქტიკული გამოცდილებისა, გვთავაზობს სხვადასხვა იდეებსა და ტექნიკებს ბავშვებთან ფსიქოლოგიური და ემოციური კავშირების დამყარებისთვის, რათა უფრო უსაფრთხო და კომფორტული გავხადოთ მათ გარშემო არსებული სამყარო.
კითხვისას სურვილი გაგიჩნდება ამ ჯადოსნური თამაშების მონაწილე გახდე და უკეთესად გაეცნო/შეიგრძნო შენი მთლიანობა.

[Andrea Serrano · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is a must for anyone who spends time with children: parents, therapists, directors, teachers, camp counselors, family members and more. It addresses many behaviors, ages and concepts; I found it very complete and yet well summed up.
The author is very grounded and practical, which makes it a very easy read. As she mentions, it’s also an amazing tool for connecting with inner childs in adults.
My book is full of highlights, bookmarks, post it’s and writing; a clear sign for me of how much I learned and enjoyed it. I took my time and recommend doing so too, with a pencil always at hand.

[Beck Sanchez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really heartwarming book to read. There's something really wonderful about reading a book written by someone who genuinely and wholeheartedly cherishes & has the utmost respect for children & consistently demonstrates this in their work. I see a lot of myself in Violet Oaklander and her approaches.

I started this book with a misinterpretation of what I was getting into -- seeking a book more about Gestalt language processors -- but really found myself enjoying reading about Gestalt play therapy especially with all the case studies presented, only wish the author got into them a bit more.

[Trevor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Violet Oaklander knew kids. Her background in Special Education and Gestalt Therapy inform her Oaklander Model beautifully. Tons of great ideas for therapeutic activities to do with children and adolescents. And great anecdotes to get a sense of how she spoke to kids in session. A must for all Child and Adolescent Therapists.

[Allison Gary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a recommended read for some play therapy coursework I was in and wow! There are some really wonderful ideas in here about working with children, different techniques and ideas. It's a wonderful resource and well written.

[Andrew Barnett · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's got solid suggestions, and I would certainly send my hypothetical children to her for therapy. I'll keep this book around for suggestions and inspiration. Yet the reading really dragged for me. I did a lot of skimming.....and I wish I liked the book more than I did.

[Austė Janušauskaitė · Rating 5 out of 5]

„Geras susitikimas yra toks, kuriame vaikui įdomu, jis pats jaučiasi įdomus ir priimamas toks, koks yra, saugus. Kai gali laisviau išreikšti savo emocijas, mintis ir nuomonę, kai žino, jog psichoterapeutas ir vaikai jį palaikys, vaikas stiprėja.“ 🌼 5/5 ✨

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book out there for working with children, adolescents as a therapist, teacher, or parent. Phenomenal insight and examples for connecting in a beautiful way with children or your own child self.

[Dana Libhart]

Purely an informative read for those working with children in therapeutic settings. This book reads like a glorified journal and is extremely detailed yet repetitive, but that’s what makes it a great reference for professionals. No rating because it stands on its own.

[Anna Lau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Straightforward, easy & interesting to read. Good for parents who want to know more of their children.

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another book full of wisdom from this gifted child therapist. Gestalt and sensory experience techniques, working with anger, the properties of specific art materials--so much here.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book in my career as a psychologist!!
(I read this book in Portuguese)

[Marcela Rdz. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Best book of children gestalt therapy. Great strategies and examples. Thank you Violet for sharing your experience!

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

A classic in Gestalt work with children, Violet paints a way to use different materials to draw out a child’s ability to express themselves through the language of play.

[Whitney Kennelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Teachers and therapists should read this book. So ahead of the time - I wish Violet was still alive so I could also write to her and tell her how impactful her book has been.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Utila si tehnica

[Heather Browne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book I have read on understanding the hurting child.

[Michaela]

stopped @ 51%

[Mary Anne Swart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'M OBSESSED. If this is the only type of therapy I do for the rest of my life, I will be satisfied.